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English
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2018-12-31
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True Selves

Summary:

Kakashi is sent on a mission to infiltrate the Akatsuki. He decides to dress as Sukea to pass as a civilian if caught. However, he hadn't anticipated an Akatsuki member to recognize him just by his face...

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Kakashi sighed deeply as he pulled himself away from the memorial stone and began walking to the Hokage’s office. For the first time since his teammates’ deaths, Kakashi had finally felt like he had a purpose for still being alive. Teaching students, especially his former sensei’s son and an Uchiha like Obito had made him feel like he could still have a positive impact on Konoha. But Sasuke had abandoned everyone to join Orochimaru, and Naruto had left to train with Jiraiya and travel the world. Even Sakura had branched out to learn medical ninjutsu under the watchful eye of Tsunade. Just as he had found meaning in his life, just as he finally stopped wishing for a fatal mission, just as he could finally look at himself in the mirror and not be disgusted, everything had been taken away.

When he trudged into the building, an hour and a half late, he made sure to change his posture and put on one of his fake smiles like he always did. It wasn’t like anyone would care anyway if they knew how hopeless he felt.

Tsunade sighed as she acknowledged Kakashi’s presence. She’d ask why he was late, but she already knew. After basically having his students taken away from him, he’d been visiting the memorial stone more and more frequently, the ghosts of the past once again consuming him. In regular circumstances, Tsunade would have Kakashi receive treatment for his past traumas; psychological burdens on shinobi commonly proved to be fatal on missions. But she knew that Kakashi had excelled in missions in worse states than this and that he wouldn’t talk about what was weighing him down so much anyway.

“I have a mission for you. S rank. It will most likely be long-term, but it’s possible you could be done in a week if you’re lucky. Normally I’d have Jiraiya do espionage missions like these, but he’s out gathering information on the Akatsuki and training Naruto. This actually does have to do with the Akatsuki, though. One of our sensor-nin had been returning from a mission in Suna and had noticed an extremely large mass of chakra coming from a cave hidden in a forest. I’m sending you instead of Jiraiya since Naruto’s training is crucial in maintaining village stability and that, being the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, Naruto is a target of the organization,” Tsunade explained, only slurring her words slightly. Not that it mattered; Kakashi knew that Tsunade could function just fine with alcohol running through her veins. They all had their vices. She slid a map over that had the exact location marked of where the chakra was sensed.

“You just need to confirm or deny the presence of the Akatsuki. Initiating combat is forbidden. Leave at whatever time you want, as long as it’s today,” Tsunade finished. She wanted to give Kakashi a little more time at the memorial stone if needed; after all, he would be gone for a longer time than he usually would, and the stone provided him a sense of stability.

“Alright. I’ll be back as soon as possible,” Kakashi stated before quickly leaving the room. Instead of returning to the memorial stone one last time, he decided to go to his apartment. A feasible plan on how to gather information without being caught by sensor-nins working for the Akatsuki (or whoever was in the cave, if anyone) was already forming in his mind. Kakashi was actually almost excited; he hadn’t been able to wear his disguise for quite awhile. A mousy brown wig, some purple makeup, green contact lenses, and a camera: all were essential aspects of his disguise to pass as a civilian photographer. The hardest part about dressing up as Sukea was that he couldn’t wear his mask; his self-loathing made Kakashi feel rather uncomfortable showing his face. Not that anyone would actually recognize him, all dolled up as he was.

With a flash of his papers permitting him to leave the village and confused glances between Izumo and Kotetsu, Kakashi was on his way to the cave. It was a couple days away; the journey would be shorter if he could move at his top speeds, but he didn’t want to possibly reveal to any Akatsuki spies that he wasn’t a civilian. His plan would completely fall apart: dressed as Sukea, Kakashi would “stumble upon” the cave and enter under the premise of wanting to take pictures of it. If caught by an Akatsuki member if they were even in the cave, he would laugh it off and explain that he was taking photos for a magazine and proceed to show the pictures he had gathered. To make it more believable, he’d ask them if they wanted the photos destroyed; to Tsunade, his word of mouth was enough evidence of anything. For once, Kakashi was grateful that his chakra capacity was so low, another quality to help him conceal his shinobi status.

After a few days, Kakashi was nearing the location of the cave. He burnt the map with a fire jutsu to destroy traces of ulterior motives. Surprisingly, the entrance was open; was it because no one was there, or was the Akatsuki confident in the secrecy of their location? No matter. Kakashi wasn’t going to turn back now. He got his camera out and “wandered” into the cave, a false expression of awe covering his face. As he roamed deeper and deeper into the cave, he could make out some figures. Just a little closer, he thought. His light footsteps seemed to be magnified and echoed throughout the cave. And then, he saw it.

Black robes with red and white clouds. Perfect. Now Kakashi just had to leave and-

“Tobi spies with his little eye- someone that shouldn’t be here!” Kakashi jumped at the sound of a voice directly behind him, almost (purposefully so) dropping his camera in the process. He turned around to see another Akatsuki member wearing an orange mask decorated with swirls.

“Oh! H-Hello there! I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to be here. I’m a photographer you see,” Kakashi began, emphasizing the camera to Tobi. “I take pictures for a nature magazine, and I happened across this cave. It was so pretty, I couldn’t help myself! But I’m sorry, I’ll leave if you guys are busy with something,” He finished, eyes crinkling shut as he smiled one of his famous smiles.

Something about this guy was… familiar. Too familiar for Obito’s liking. As he observed the other man’s (quite handsome) facial features and the crinkled smile, it hit him. He never expected to see Kakashi when he was working with the Akatsuki. Obito’s plan was to lead the Akatsuki into collecting the tailed beasts and sealing them away in the Gedo Statue. Madara had explained to him that if that happened, most of the world’s greatest weapons would be sealed away, and that peace would spread across the land. Though he had a niggling feeling that Madara wasn’t being completely honest with Obito…

“K-Kakashi?!” He spluttered before quickly closing his mouth. Despite having awoken his Mangekyo Sharingan and becoming a highly skilled shinobi, Obito hadn’t quite mastered the art of shutting up sometimes. Especially at crucial moments.

Obito would never forget that face. He still remembered, all those years ago, how he stumbled upon Kakashi catching fish for his dinner. That was the first and only time (until now) that Obito had seen Kakashi without his mask. It was also the day that Obito realized that his crush on Rin might not have been a crush after all, but rather an infatuation with the kindness of her soul. While Rin’s face was very cute in Obito’s opinion, Kakashi’s was beautiful. He had no idea why Kakashi hid his face behind that stuffy old mask. Apart from the beauty mole, which only made him prettier, Kakashi’s skin was flawless, his lips just plush enough, his nose slender yet fitting… After all those years, Obito’s little crush still hadn’t died out. Kakashi made it so, so hard for Obito to continue his work in the Akatsuki; it was selfish, but he just wanted to be there with Kakashi. Even if the other man didn’t feel the same.

“H-How do you know that?” Kakashi blurted out, not meaning to stutter this time. This masked man.. he seemed familiar, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. It felt like mist had enveloped his brain, and the more he tried to remember, the foggier it got. Thankfully, the list of possible people was narrowed down when he felt his Sharingan eye suddenly swirl to life and stare into the somehow matching Sharingan visible through Tobi’s mask.

Despite all the research Kakashi had done on the Sharingan in order to make up for his lack of an Uchiha mentor, he had never come across Sharingan reacting with each other just from them being in the presence of each other. Not even if both users had the Mangekyo. It didn’t make sense… The only possible explanation that Kakashi could theorize was if the Sharingan stemmed from the same original user. But that was impossible. Obito had died more than a decade ago, his entire right side destroyed along with his other eye. But nothing else fit the situation. Confusion quickly turned to anger as he glared at Tobi.

“Where did you get that eye!?” Kakashi demanded to know. To think that even after Obito had sacrificed his life, even after giving up all his hopes and dreams for Kakashi, that someone would have the nerve to defile his body for an eye? It disgusted Kakashi. When the other man said nothing and just continued staring into Kakashi’s eyes, anger melted into awe and cautious hope. No… It was plain naive to think that Obito could have lived through trauma like that. And even if he did, Obito surely would have returned to the village to fulfill his dreams of becoming Hokage. But, after having lived through so much, Kakashi knew not to discount anything until solid evidence was found. He warily reached his hand towards Obito’s mask and slipped it off.

As soon as he felt his eye react with Kakashi’s, Obito knew he was dead meat. He had thought about what would happen if him and Kakashi had actually been able to explore the effects of having the same Sharingan, but actually seeing his eyes have such a strong reaction, Obito was floored. So floored that he didn’t (or couldn’t) move a muscle as Kakashi extended a gloved hand towards his face and slipped it off.

Kakashi audibly gasped when he looked into the face of the man in front of him. Scars littered the right side of his face, but it was a familiar one nonetheless. The same strong jawline (strengthened through the transition to adulthood), raven-black hair, and stupidly attractive facial features were there. Kakashi couldn’t help but continue looking at Obito, almost as if he would disappear forever if he looked away even for a moment.

“H-How?”

“It’s a long story. But- why are you dressed like that?” Obito questioned back, not really wanting to get into what had happened to him over the past decade and a half with the rest of the Akatsuki so close. He felt extremely lucky that him, the novice not yet in the Akatsuki technically, was chosen to do rounds. If anyone else had been chosen (especially Hidan- he had a mean look), Kakashi would have probably been killed, and Obito would have been helpless. Unable to save another friend.

Kakashi bit his lip, gaze dropping to Obito’s feet. Even they looked nice! He thought about the question for awhile, wondering if he should just give the current reason, or if he should delve into the whole story of how Sukea came to be. Hell, it was Obito. Back when they were kids, Kakashi hadn’t been able to tell him anything before he had died- well, not died, but left Kakashi. Despite all the alarms screeching in Kakashi’s brain- Obito was still apparently an Akatsuki member- he didn’t care. His will to live had been lost a long time ago, and Obito alone meant more to him than everything else back in Konoha.

“Well, I was sent here to figure out if the Akatsuki were present in this cave or not. And I thought I’d wear my disguise and pose as a civilian if caught. You know how low my chakra levels are,” He started before looking back up to Obito, unable to hide his broken state behind one of his smiles before continuing. “But I’ve dressed like this quite a lot. It makes me feel like someone else, eases the pain for a bit. Everyone left. You, Rin, Minato. I was the only one left. To be honest, it broke me,” Kakashi admitted, shame curling in his gut. One of the most important shinobi laws was to never show emotion, especially to a potential enemy. But Obito had shown him that rules aren’t the most important things. Hopefully Obito could see that as Kakashi talked. “I had some students for awhile, but they left too. But- I think, even if they hadn’t, I still would have felt empty. Your death shattered me more than any other. But you aren’t even dead! And you’re working with the Akatsuki? The Obito I knew would never turn his back on the village. Please… come home.”

Obito listened intently, guilt and sadness tugging at his heart when he heard just how depressed Kakashi was because of him. Maybe he should have returned to the village. Even though Rin’s death had hurt (and it had, like a thousand needles piercing every inch of Obito’s already-flawed skin), he still continued on his path of securing others’ happiness. Madara gave him a very good idea on how to do that, so Obito simply hadn’t come back home. He was beginning to regret that; Kakashi’s happiness mattered to him more than anyone else’s, and it was obvious that the man had none at all. When he felt tears begin welling up in his eyes, an annoying trait that he had never grown out of, he shook his head.

“Goddamn it Kakashi, why do you have to make everything so hard?! I-I’m trying to bring peace to this world s-so that no one else has to go through what we did when Rin and Minato were killed. But seeing you here? Showing me how much my absence meant? I-,” Obito faltered. His inner turmoil had grown even worse, like he was being crushed by another boulder. On one hand, he should pretend Kakashi had never visited the cave that day and continue on with the plan. That was the way of the shinobi: the mission always comes first. But he did say, all those years ago, that that rule was wrong. That putting friends first was more important than any dumb mission, no matter how important it seemed. And Obito was never one to go back on his word. But what if his word was wrong? He wiped a tear away with his gloved hand before continuing.

“Kakashi, I have to stay. The Akatsuki- we aren’t doing anything bad. Our goal is to collect all the tailed beasts and seal them away. You know how powerful they are. When those weapons are gone, there won’t be anymore wars. Deaths like Rin and Minato’s won’t have to happen anymore. There’ll be peace, and then I can return home, alright?” Obito’s voice was shaky, and he had to turn away halfway through his spiel when he saw Kakashi’s face fall and his eyes drain of luster. Obito looked back up at Kakashi, whose brows had furrowed, like the man was deep in thought. Suddenly he looked up, gazing at Obito with a surprising amount of fire in his eyes.

“You idiot! Do you honestly think that collecting that much power and combining it is going to result in peace? I don’t know who the hell set you up to that, but it’s obvious that they’re a fucking liar! Or you’re just really dumb. You better get your ass right back over to the village where you can actually work on spreading peace throughout the shinobi world. And to think I love an idiot like you… woe is me,” Kakashi retaliated, voice rising slightly in volume. At this point, Kakashi didn’t give a fuck if Obito knew his feelings for the Uchiha. 15 years had passed without Kakashi having the chance to tell him, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to give up the chance now. Even as he confessed, he still glared at Obito- not out of malice, but out of frustration that Obito actually believed this garbage.

As he listened to Kakashi rant, Obito’s eyes widened at how much Kakashi’s demeanor had changed in a matter of seconds. He had definitely changed a lot since they were kids; the old, uptight Kakashi would never have shown such a range of emotions in a single conversation. Obito felt his face flush bright red when Kakashi finished. It pissed him off; the fact that Kakashi could admit something so huge like that and still come off as relatively casual was infuriating to Obito, who couldn’t hide an emotion if his life depended on it. Speaking of emotions, he was currently feeling about 10 vastly different ones, and he had no earthly idea how to respond. Naturally, Obito said whatever the hell came to mind.

“Y-You’re the idiot, Bakashi! Barging in here dressed up like that,” He gestured wildly to Kakashi getup. “But uh… I hadn’t thought about the plan that way,” Obito admitted, cheeks burning even more when Kakashi rolled his eyes. When Kakashi opened his mouth to respond (probably with that dumb sass and coolness that Obito hated), Obito knew he had to do something. He had received more than enough surprises for one day. “Shut up!” He yelled, growing even more frustrated when it looked like Kakashi was still going to say whatever was on his mind. God, what happened to the old Kakashi? Even he wasn’t this annoying despite his obsession with the rules! Without thinking, Obito suddenly took a few steps forward and crashed his lips into Kakashi’s. He couldn’t exactly speak if there was something covering his mouth.

Finally, he had cracked Kakashi. Noticing the deep rosy tinge that had spread across Kakashi’s cheeks, Obito pulled away, a victorious smirk present on his face. “That got you to shut up, huh? I guess I’ll have to do it more often then,” Obito gloated before his smirk melted into a grin solely filled with mirth. “I love you too, Bakashi. Even if you’re annoying and dumb,” He mumbled, eyes peeled to the nearest cave wall.

“You’re the dumb one, Obito. Let’s go home,” Kakashi said simply as he reached for Obito’s hand. He hadn’t expected in a million years for Obito to return his feelings; he thought the man was in love with Rin, after all. But, after everything that had happened today, Kakashi just accepted it as it was. A sigh of relief escaped Kakashi’s mouth when Obito nodded and began to lead Kakashi back to the exit. The Uchiha honestly didn’t care what the Akatsuki would think of his absence; he hadn’t yet actually been accepted into the group as per the plan, so the other members would probably just think he died or whatever. It felt like a burden had been lifted off his chest for the first time in over a decade; the plan that Madara had created had never settled well in Obito’s gut, and now he had an excuse to leave. If he was being honest, Obito was still happy to leave even if the plan would really result in worldwide peace. After years of helping old ladies and literally sacrificing half his body, Obito felt that he had earned the right to be selfish, just this once.

Even as they walked through the gates of Konoha, Kakashi’s feeling of happiness still hadn’t left. Normally it would have faded since he really didn’t have anything to be happy about, but now he had Obito. Maybe he could unlearn all his stubborn habits of self-pity and loathing. Even Sukea might eventually disappear, even though he’d probably still dress up occasionally to mess with people. But for once, he felt happy for who he was, like he didn’t have to change. Kakashi had no idea what Obito was doing to him; optimism was one thing that he had never felt. Although there would likely be a hot mess on his hands when Tsunade found out about Obito’s technical desertion of the village, Kakashi felt like it would all turn out okay. Because Obito was there with him, and they finally now had the chance to see the future together.

Notes:

Happy New Year's! I hope everyone, especially you Doobie, enjoy this! :) This was my first fic for a Secret Santa. I'm surprised I actually finished on time.