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The small male in the hospital bed couldn't remember what had happened. He didn't know where he was, who he was, or even what he was before he woke up one day in a hospital bed. There was a boy sitting in the corner, sleeping, and snoring quite loudly. His hospital visitor name tag read Hoseok so he figured that was his name. He tried to speak, but no sound came out. It was like trying to play a woodwind instrument, specifically a reed instrument, without getting the reed wet. All that came out was a small squeak. But it was enough to wake up “Hoseok” so he felt he'd at least accomplished something .
A boy's name was the first thing out of his mouth, and the tiny male in the bed across from him thought this was a bit odd. “Y- Yoongi..?” Hoseok said sleepily, rubbing his eyes, not even seeing the male on the bed in front of him. When he opened his eyes, he looked like he'd seen a ghost. “Yoongi!” Hoseok exclaimed, scrambling to his feet, falling right on his face, trying to get to the other males bed.
The male tried to say something, but again, the sound of a reed instrument without a wet reed came once again. Merely a squeak. Hoseok finally made his way to the other males bedside, he laid a soft hand on his, and smiled as bright as the sun. “Yoongi, you have no idea how happy I am right now. I've been waiting for you for so long. They almost didn't think you'd make it.” Hoseok felt tears rolling down from his eyes and onto his cheeks and down to his chin. The male who seemed to be named “Yoongi”, shakily moved a hand to wipe away Hoseok's tears. Hoseok leaned into Yoongi's touch, and Yoongi felt himself caressing Hoseok's face.
“Who… Are y- you..?” Yoongi finally managed to say, and Hoseok's eyes opened up wide. “Who am I?”
“Nurse! Nurse!” Hoseok called. He couldn't believe it, the love of his life didn't even remember who he was, nor could he remember who Hoseok was. He couldn't believe it. The one thing he and his doctors feared would be true when Yoongi awoke. And here it was, right in front of them.
Hoseok really couldn't believe it, and Yoongi was so concerned about what Hoseok was so devastated about. The nurse came in, and seemed to be shocked that Yoongi was finally awake. But when Hoseok finally broke the news, her face fell, and she rested a hand on Hoseok's shoulder as if to try and offer comfort to him. Hoseok felt a tear slip down his cheek and onto the floor. “I'm sorry sweetie.” She said, pulling him in for an embrace. Hoseok tried to look at Yoongi, but it hurt far too much to see him in this state.
The nurse called in the doctor, and they politely asked Hoseok to leave while they performed a list of tests to see where Yoongi was at in terms of memory. He complied, sadly leaving the room, but not even being able to look back at Yoongi, simply lying there in what Hoseok knew to be pain. He just couldn't bring himself to see Yoongi like that. The love of his life reduced to having no memory of their love and the life they had together. Hoseok waited outside of the room, in the visitors waiting room, awaiting the test results anxiously. He hoped that Yoongi could at least remember something about them, but when the doctor came out of the hospital room with a despondent look on his face, Hoseok knew there was no hope in him remember anything of their relationship.
“How bad is it..?” Hoseok asked the doctor, and the man sighed.
“It's not as bad as you think. He can still perform basic motor functions and do simple things like read, write, and speak properly, but he had no recollection of the life he lived before. I'm sorry, Mister Jung, it hurts me to deliver this news to you, just like I know it hurts you to hear it.” Hoseok felt another stray tear fall down his cheeks and down to his chin, where it fell to the floor.
“What can I do to help him..?” Hoseok said, trying his best and hardest not to cry more than he just did. His words were shaky and unstable, but that was exactly how Hoseok was feeling.
“You can take him home in a few days, and from there, try to get him to remember some things by getting him into your old routine, if you had one. Make sure you don't overload him though, because that can and will make everything worse.”
“Okay…”
“And hey, you'll be okay. Just keep your head up, okay?” He rested a hand on Hoseok's shoulder and rubbed it slightly, trying to comfort the younger male. *It'll all work out, trust me.”
“Okay sir. Thank you for all your hard work.”
“Don't thank me, it's my job. And I wanna help, you know? I'd feel bad if I didn't try to offer some advice.” Hoseok smiled as best he could, all things considered, and the doctor smiled back. “Good luck, and come back anytime you need help or have a question. Just ask for me and I'll come right down.
“Thanks so much, again.”
“It's my pleasure.”
“Yeah…”
«~»
The next few days were possibly the worst days of Hoseok's life. Being without Yoongi was almost fine while he was still in a coma, because Hoseok could see him everyday, but now Yoongi was awake and talking, but didn't remember anything. It hurt Hoseok deep inside to have to see the love of his life go through this. But that was the thing, he couldn't see Yoongi. The doctors wouldn't let him, because Yoongi needed to be stable first before he could be released, and with Hoseok being in the state that he was in, they were concerned he might hinder Yoongi's progress in memory recovery.
Hoseok simply had to go along with it, and pretend like it didn't hurt him so badly to not be able to make some sort of different, positively, in Yoongi's recovery. He wanted to help, he truly did. But he also couldn't ignore his emotions. His want and need for Yoongi to love him again. But he did his best to stay strong during those few days, and think only positive thoughts about Yoongi coming home and them being together again.
The real question on Hoseok's mind was, how was he gonna get Yoongi to fall in love with him again? It wasn't easy the first time, and if Yoongi's still as stubborn as he ever was, it's not gonna be easy this time either.
«~»
When Yoongi was finally allowed to come home, Hoseok was so excited. Despite having experienced so many different emotions about Yoongi's amnesia, he'd finally come to terms with it, he thought, and if he wasn't, then he wanted to be okay with it. He wanted to be okay for Yoongi, he was doing everything he could, for Yoongi . It was all for Yoongi, and when Yoongi finally came home and saw something besides his hospital bedroom, memories came flooding back.
“Hoseok.” Yoongi said, softly. They were cuddling on the couch, limbs intertwined, and exchanging kisses when Yoongi spoke up about something.
“Yes sweetie?” Hoseok responded, sweetly, kissing Yoongis forehead.
“I love you.”
“What?” Hoseok asked. He was wondering where this had come from. It wasn't typical of Yoongi to say things like that out of the blue. And he'd never told Hoseok he loved him before, let alone even hinted that he wanted to, so this was honestly a shock.
“I… I love you…”
“Yoongi…” Hoseok started, but was interrupted by Yoongi.
“No, Hoseok please listen. I love you. And I know I've never said it before now, but I wanted it to be somewhere where we're both comfortable and happy. And we're both happy and comfortable here, right here where we are.”
“Yoongi, I love you so much.”
“I love you with all my heart, Hoseok.” And they shared a sweet, passionate kiss. Hoseok felt something wet on his cheek, and when he opened his eyes, Yoongi was crying.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Hoseok asked, pulling away and gently wiping his tears away.
“I just love you so much, Hoseok…”
“I love you too, baby.” And they kissed once more.
Yoongi fell over in the entryway, Hoseok immediately coming to his side. “Yoongi! Yoongi! Are you okay?!” Yoongi didn't feel different, besides now having a raging migraine.
“I'm… I'm okay…” He said, rubbing his temples.”Hoseok, were we… Together? Before I lost my memory?”
“The… The doctors didn't tell you..?” Hoseok was on the verge of tears now, because he didn't know what Yoongi thought they were before he lost his memory. What did he think they were? Just really good friends?
“N- no… They didn't tell me what you were to me… We were together, weren't we..?”
“Yes, we were.” And Yoongi gasped, he knew there was something different about the way Hoseok acted around him, but he could never figure out why. But now he knew, and he couldn't believe it.
“I’m so sorry, Hoseok, but I don't feel those feelings for you anymore…”
“It's okay… I know.” Hoseok was feeling, if anything, depressed and despondent. He felt like he was so far away from Yoongi, drifting farther and farther away. And he couldn't help but notice the disconnect between them. It was too obvious, and it just made Hoseok feel worse and worse.
The first night was hard. Really hard. Hoseok woke up in the middle of the night, sobbing because he had a dream about Yoongi and what their relationship used to be like. Yoongi awoke to the sound of Hoseok's crying and came into the room that they used to share, from his spot on the couch. Yoongi was very confused at first, but he knew if he wanted to help, he needed to be there. Really be there. And so he was.
He sat down on the bed in front of Hoseok, and pulled the younger into his chest, rubbing circles into his back. “It's alright. I'm here now.” He said, his deep voice calming and soothing Hoseok. It was then he had another head-splitting flashback.
Hoseok awoke screaming, and Yoongi woke up seconds later. “Hoseok..?”
“Y- Yoongi…” Hoseok said, sobbing and sniffling.
“Hey, hey. It's okay baby. Was it another nightmare?” He asked, bringing Hoseok close to his chest.
“Y- yeah… I don't wanna talk about it…” Hoseok sniffled, trying to stay calm.
“It's okay baby, that's fine. We don't have to talk about it.” He simply rubbed circles info Hoseok's back and occasionally kissed the top of his head until he fell asleep where he felt most safe, in Yoongi's arms.
“Hoseok..?”
“Y- yeah..?” He said, sniffling and wiping his eyes.
“Was it another nightmare..?” He asked, trying his best not to pass out on the spot from the pain in his brain.
“Yeah…” Hoseok didn't realize it then until the next morning morning, when he awoke in Yoongi's arms, that the older male was slowly regaining his memories, or maybe just simple things about their relationship. Hoseok wondered when the proposal would come up in his flashbacks, or if it ever would.
«~»
Yoongi's progress in terms of memory seemed to be getting better and better as the weeks went on. He started remembering more and more things as he did them, or as he saw things that reminded him of the love he and Hoseok shared. Despite it being at the cost of getting migraines so bad he'd cry sometimes.
His days were always filled with Hoseok, as he was the only one who really took care of Yoongi. The older hadn't asked about his parents yet, snd Hoseok was glad he hadn't. He didn't want to open up that can of sadness.
But overall, Yoongi was getting better and better as the weeks went on, despite the pain when he got a flashback. Every time they went to the doctors office, they said he was recovering really well and fold Hoseok to just keep doing what he was doing, because it really was helping him. Hoseok told the doctors about Yoongi's migraines when he got flashbacks, and sometimes fainting. They simply said that it was “normal” and that he'd be fine. They prescribed a medication for the migraines anyway, just to see if they'd help at all. They did to a point, but not completely, which was kind of expected.
It was another normal night, with Yoongi sleeping on the couch, and Hoseok in the bedroom. But when Hoseok awoke at 2am, screaming, it wasn't going to be a good rest of night. Yoongi came in, knowing exactly what to do. He pulled Hoseok close and rubbed circles into his back, trying to soothe his anxiety. Hoseok was shaking like a leaf, and he was so scared he wrapped his arms around Yoongi and began to cry.
“I… I dreamt you were a- a demon again…” Yoongi cried and cried into Yoongi's chest, and Yoongi offered soothing and comforting words.
“Hey, hey it's okay, it's okay. I'm here and I'm not a demon. It's okay.” And with those words, there was another flashback coming again, he could just feel it.
“Y- Yoongi… Yoongi!” Hoseok cried in his sleep, waking up Yoongi immediately. Yoongi knew he was having a nightmare again, so he pulled Hoseok close to him and whispered,
“Shhh… It's okay. It's okay, I'm here. I've got you.” When Hoseok had finally awoke from his nightmare, he opened his eyes to see Yoongi's face, and started crying.
“Y- you're not a demon, right?”
Yoongi chuckled and said softly, “No, Hoseok. I'm not.”
He awoke abruptly to Hoseok shaking him awake. Yoongi's eyes shot open and the first words out of his mouth were, “H- Hoseok..?”
“Yoongi, are you okay?!” He asked, worriedly.
“Yeah, I feel fine. Why?”
“You.. You fell off the bed.”
“I feel fine… Did I hit my head..?”
“No but still, I think we should go to the hospital, just to be safe.”
“Hoseok, I'm fine. I feel fine.” But Hoseok shook his head and said,
“No, we're going.” Hoseok grabbed Yoongi's hand and pulled him up onto his feet. Yoongi was being stubborn and couldn't understand why Hoseok wanted to go to the hospital so bad.
“Hoseok, I'm fine!” He pulled away from Hoseok, angrily. “Why are you so insistent on going to the hospital? I didn't even hit my head!”
“I don't want to lose you again!!” Hoseok's eyes began to water because he was angry and upset all in one.
“Hoseok…”
“Yoongi, please… I really can't handle losing you again.”
“Okay… I'll go.”
«~»
When they got home from the hospital, Yoongi seemed better than ever. He was happier and seemed healthier too, somehow. The doctors had done brain scans on him, and they'd provided information that made Hoseok immensely happy. He couldn't believe that nothing had happened and that Yoongi was okay. He was so worried there was something wrong with Yoongi, but he was so absolutely elated to find out there wasn't.
They spent the better part of a month just doing what they always did, Hoseok would take Yoongi with him to work at the cafe he was the manager of. And Yoongi would sit and write and draw in his journal while he waited for Hoseok to get off of work.
He mostly journalled about how he was doing as far as recovery. He drew little faces and characters that he liked as well when he did draw. When Hoseok would go on break, Yoongi would show him his journal and let him see his drawings, but never what he wrote. He was too scared to share that. He would talk about how much he missed Hoseok during the day when he would go to work and he'd also talk about Hoseok in general.
He'd talk about how amazing he was to do all these things for him and take care of him the way he did. Yoongi really appreciated it and he didn't mind Hoseok's nightmares because he knew that it wasn't his fault, it was the chemicals in his brain torturing him for something. Something he must've done.
And that something was revealed when Yoongi finally saw Hoseok's ring on his finger. Hoseok was sleeping on the couch one day, and Yoongi saw it. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before, and after all the time they spend together, it was truly amazing that he hadn't noticed it before. There was a ring on his left ring finger, and as Yoongi looked closer, he noticed that the ring had the word “soulmate” engraved into it. The ring itself was a moon, a crescent moon. And he wondered where the sun was, because if there was a moon, there had to be a sun.
And that's when he got the flashback. The worst one he's ever had.
Yoongi and Hoseok were at a rather fancy restaurant for their weekly date when Hoseok finally spoke up after they ordered their meals and their food arrived. “So you're probably wondering why I brought you here today…” Hoseok started. He was nervous and Yoongi could tell. “I've loved you since day one, Yoongi. Ever since you walked into the cafe those 18 months ago, I've known since then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and that's what I'm here to tell you today.”
The waiter came over with a bottle of champagne, and when he opened it, and poured some into Yoongi's glass, a ring fell into it. It was a sun. When Yoongi pulled it out of his glass, he looked closer at it, and it had the word ‘soulmate’ carved into it. Yoongi couldn't believe it. When Hoseok took the ring from Yoongi's hand and got down on one knee, Yoongi began to cry.
“Oh my god… Hoseok…” He said, but Hoseok held up a hand to silence him.
“Yoongi, I've spent my whole life waiting for someone like you. Will you marry me and make my days filled with love and joy? Will you make my nights filled with the sweet smell of your shampoo?”
“Hoseok… Yes… Yes I will.” And Hoseok smiled so wide he thought his cheeks were gonna get six packs. He stood up and kissed Yoongi with all the love in his heart.
“H- Hoseok…” Yoongi said, nervously. But Hoseok was asleep, so he shook him awake. Hoseok opened his eyes and saw a terrified look on Yoongi's face.
“Yoongi are you alright? What's wrong?”
“I'm so sorry, Hoseok…” He said, tears welling up in his eyes. “I'm so sorry.”
“Hey, hey it's okay.” He said, pulling Yoongi close, rubbing circles in his back the way Yoongi does to him. “There's nothing to be sorry for.”
“B- but I never knew… I never knew you liked me, or even loved me like that…”
“What are you talking about..?”
“Your proposal… I remember it…” Yoongi sniffled and pulled away from Hoseok's embrace.
“Oh, Yoongi…"
“N- no it's okay, because I have something I ask you. I've been meaning to ask you about it for a while now.”
“Ask, it's okay.”
“Do you… Still love me..?” Yoongi asked, staring down at the ground. He couldn't face Hoseok after asking that.
“Of course I do. Why would I not?”
“Because I can't remember half of the time we spent together…”
“But that doesn't matter. All that time doesn't matter. What matters is here and now.”
“Hoseok…”
“Yes?”
“I love you, remembered or not.”
“Yoongi…” He said, lifting up Yoongi's face gently.
“I really do love you, Hoseok.”
“I know. It's okay.” And they shared the best kiss they've ever had. It was gentle and soft, and Yoongi couldn't compare it to anything, but he knew it was their best. He just knew.
END.
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