Chapter Text
Of course, things never went how John thought they'd go. He just doesn't have that kind of luck. He expected clingy little children, like right now, with one hugging his leg so tightly that it's actually started to feel numb now. What he didn't expect out of this situation is that, along with the clinging to his leg, the child is waving a small ring at him. It looks real, is the problem. The diamond of the blasted little ring looks real, expensive, and oh-no if it gets lost he really doesn't want to be blamed for this. No, the ring is just one of his problems along with his now-numb leg. The other problem is what the child is spouting out of his mouth.
"I found rings for us! Which means we must get married, and you will be my wife soon!"
Because no, he didn't agree to this. He doesn't want to be a wife to anyone, nor does he really want to get married. This is a five year old, a really smart ( too smart for his own good, honestly ), and awkward little five year old. Who has a crush on John. Que the long string of curses to bad luck and complicated situations. How do you explain to a little kid that, no, I really don't want to be your wife, and you are not old enough for this?
Well, wait. He has tried to explain this. What did he get? Emails upon emails from a certain guardian, stating that, even though this child is smart, he still won't accept certain things. Which is how John learned that 1) The Holmes' are very difficult people, and 2) Sherlock will never accept any sort of rejection from John.
All he can really do with the clinging-to-leg-with-a-ring situation is smile, pat the mess of curls, and take the ring. Sherlock stops with his blabbing, but his arms are still around John's leg, and he is now staring at John with such expecting, and comically large puppy dog eyes that it physically hurts. John just sucks it up, puts the ring on, and smiles again. The ring is a bit too small on him, so now his finger is turning a worrying pale white.
See, John really never signed up for this.