Work Text:
Phil was standing by the sink, hands gloved and flannel shirt arms pushed up to the elbow. Music was blaring from his headphones as he hummed along, a sponge going over the dirty dishes that had been piling up for way too long.
“Once I hoped, to seek the new and old,” Phil sang loudly and off-key as Explorers began playing.
He put the now clean dish on the dish drainer and grabbed a tea mug. Its contents were pretty much stuck to the bottom, so he hunched down and forcefully rubbed the sponge against it as bubbles swirled up from the force. He grunted along to the lyrics, completely in his own mind and oblivious to the fact that his neighbours were probably begging for mercy at this point.
Finally, the mug was practically scraped clean and he put it away. The small amount of counter space was not ideal for how ruthlessly Phil seemed to manage to procrastinate doing his dishes. He’d been living out of his dorms and away from his parents’ house for a few months. Although he felt proud and almost adult at this stage of his life, he did feel a bit childish, especially when it came to tidying the apartment. He wanted to be able to sit down and talk next time his mum came over, instead of sitting idly by while she picked up the things he’d carelessly neglected since she visited last.
“Free me, free me,” Phil belted out, stretching his shoulders.
This sink was not built for anyone over 160 centimeters tall. His back was aching, not only from how vigorously he had to clean the dishes, but from the aspect that he was a full grown 188 centimeters tall man by now.
“Free me from this world!” Phil continued, eyes shut.
He chuckled at himself as even he could hear how off that last note sounded. The smile didn’t last long when he suddenly heard a loud thump from behind him.
He pulled the headphones down onto his shoulders, wincing at the cold water dripping from the gloves, and spun around with a painfully beating heart.
Dan. It was Dan. Of course it was Dan. He was stood in the sad excuse for a hallway, still wearing his coat and shoes, but from the amused expression on his face Phil could tell that he’d been standing there long enough to have heard the worst of it.
Phil’s face was bright red and his body felt uncomfortably warm.
“Dan!” he squeaked, no longer feeling at all like his height. “Hi! I wasn’t expecting you!”
He turned the off faucet and pulled off his gloves. He smiled like an idiot as he walked closer. Dan had his hands on his hips, and a smile wide enough to create little crinkles around his young eyes. Phil blinked rapidly, trying to think of anything else to say to keep up the pretence that this was a completely normal thing and that Dan hadn’t just caught him in a moment so extremely genuine and careless that it embarrassed him more than if he’d just been caught masturbating.
“Is that the 2nd Law?” Dan asked, breaking the silence.
Phil felt antsy and gross after having spent the better part of the last twenty minutes washing dishes. He was sweaty and warm, as if he’d just been lifting weights. But… oh, Dan. Despite the disapproving tone and the completely humiliating expression on his face, it was Phil’s Dan. Phil decided not to respond and wrapped his tired arms around Dan’s frame. He was not fully grown. The growth spurt he’d come into since enrolling at Manchester University made Phil fear he’d be taller than him by the end of the year.
At first Dan accepted the hug, melting into Phil, but before long he pulled back.
“Jesus Christ, what have you been doing in here?” he asked.
He’d taken note of how warm and sweaty Phil was, and did not approve. Phil felt that warmth of embarrassment spread across his cheeks.
“Washing up,” he shrugged, looking away.
“And actively put months off your contract by whatever that singing was?”
“Hey!” Phil croaked, daring a look back at Dan.
He was taking his shoes and coat off now. He had a big bag next to him. Not clothing for a week long stay, no. That assumption had made Phil feel like an idiot last time. That bag was most likely filled with Dan’s dirty laundry.
“I’m just joking,” Dan smirked. “It was cute.”
“You’re cute,” Phil spat before he’d even processed that what Dan had said was actually a compliment.
Dan cocked an eyebrow as he kicked his shoes away to stand among the other footwear, tossed away just as carelessly in the small hallway.
“Thanks?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Phil chuckled, shaking his head. “You scared the crap out of me, then.”
“Sorry,” Dan said. “I’m glad I did, though. I didn’t know you were capable of destroying an already crappy album.”
“You’re an asshole,” Phil whined.
Dan smiled, but he looked down, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. His entire being emitted uncertainty from one second to the next. Phil had no idea what had motivated the change.
The past few months had been great. Phil still couldn’t believe his luck. Him and Dan’s connection a year ago had been instantaneous, fully reciprocated by both parties, and somehow Dan had eagerly moved 300km in order to study in the city Phil lived in. But this had created a change in dynamic that still felt fresh. They were still testing the waters. Not having to anticipate the visits Dan made to Manchester and filling the time in between texting or chatting on Skype was something they still had to get used to. It was a welcome change, but still a change.
And so Dan was stood there in the hallway, having entered with his own key that Phil had given him as soon as the rental contract had been signed, looking unsure and not accustomed to this new privacy and freedom enough to be able to do whatever he wanted without Phil giving permission.
Phil wanted to break that tension as soon as possible, and so he found himself singing again.
“Saaave me,” he started, intentionally bad. “From my superstitions.”
Dan groaned, but Phil put his hands on Dan’s shoulders firmly and stared into his eyes with a confidence he had no idea why he dared act on.
“Now I’m free from my old condition.”
Phil didn’t care that Dan was struggling to get out of his grip, still turned off by how sweaty and gross he was. Phil realised he hadn’t even registered that. He was wearing old sweats and his hair was messy and unattractive. On top of everything else, it had slipped his mind that Dan was seeing him like this for the first time outside of bedroom stuff.
“Wait, just a while,” Phil sung, a bit more seriously now. “And I’ll greet you with a smile.”
With Phil’s hands firmly gripping him, Dan groaned again, louder this time. It sounded way too similar to the noises he’d make under the covers of Phil’s bed. Way too similar. It made something stirr in the pit of Phil’s stomach.
Dan raised his eyebrows in question, obviously picking up on Phil’s changing mood.
“What?” he asked.
His voice wasn’t as loud and defiant as it had been since Phil had seen him arrive. It sounded softer, and the question was asked with curiosity.
“Sorry,” Phil said, feeling his cheeks go red again. “Just....”
He took a step closer, diminishing the small space that remained between them. Dan might be disgusted by the smell of wet, expired food, but not enough to want to step away from the intensity steadily building between them.
“The noise you just made was…really hot.”
Dan smiled wickedly.
“What, the sound of my eardrums bursting?”
Phil squinted, an exaggerated frown on his face.
“No, the pornographic moan you just made,” he said.
Dan looked equally surprised as Phil by the sudden confidence. He tilted his head, features softening with a look of affection. This, Phil still had a hard time knowing how to handle. He could take the teasing and the banter, but pure unadulterated affection from a guy this adorable as well as sexy was still an alien concept for him even after a year of dating.
Dan sucked in a breath.
“You like that album a lot more than you let on, don’t you?” he asked.
“I guess I do,” Phil admitted. “You’re still too swayed by the critics to appreciate it, I reckon.”
Dan mock-gasped.
“Are you seriously invalidating my own personal opinion?” Dan asked.
Back to teasing. Back to banter. Phil almost felt relieved.
“What I’m asking is, would you mind it if it plays in the background whilst we fuck?” Phil grinned.
“Jesus, you’re on today,” Dan laughed.
His hand came up to grab a handful of Phil’s overgrown black hair and pushed their lips together. Phil hummed against his lips. He didn’t have to lean down to kiss Dan anymore and for that, his still aching back was grateful.
“I missed you,” Phil admitted.
“Take a shower and then meet me in bed?” Dan suggested.
“Yes,” Phil agreed without a second thought.
The shower was quick yet thorough. He didn’t want even a whisper of sweat or dirt to make Dan less attracted to him. If there was one thing of importance Phil had learned about Dan’s sexual preferences in the past year, it was that anything like dirty sheets or body odor was an immediate turn off for him. The first couple months Phil had been clueless, but Dan had probably not been as affected by the state of his bedroom at that time. They’d both been caught up in finally being physically together and doing the things they’d texted about doing to each other to mind any little thing that normally could be off-putting in those situations.
Said and done, after the shower Phil put on the 2nd Law on his stereo and jumped into bed next to Dan. They spent a few songs kissing and cuddling. When Dan visited they often hurried to the best part, knowing Dan had to go back to his dorms or study or just exist there, in Phil’s small crappy apartment, and breathe easier for a while as he was finally free from the presence of acquaintances he had to alter his personality to. No, tonight Dan was acting as if he never had to return to his dorms.
Phil pulled away after a bit. Maybe Dan simply wasn’t in the mood for sex. That would be a first, but Phil had experienced a lot of unexpected firsts with Dan since he’d moved to Manchester.
“Are you not--?” Phil asked.
The words caught in his throat. He found himself feeling very vulnerable by the prospect of not being wanted in that way.
“No, no,” Dan said, pushing Phil’s face closer to his again by the back of his head. “I am.”
Dan’s breath felt warm against Phil’s face. Phil could only exist like this for the rest of his life and be perfectly happy. That was sappy. Maybe if they existed like this together long enough Phil would find the courage to show that sappy stuff by other means than through the comfortable distance text messages provided.
“Is it the album?” Phil asked. “Are you seriously turned off by a Muse album?”
“Shut up,” Dan laughed, head falling back against the pillow.
Phil hovered above him, one hand on the side of Dan as he leveled his weight on his elbow on the other side of him. Dan was still small enough to fit in this position. It’s not like Phil feared Dan getting taller or broader, but he did enjoy being the bigger one for the time being.
Add Dan looking absolutely adorable under him as their positions shifted, and Phil was sold on the arrangement. Phil leaned down and they shared a sweet, closed lipped kiss.
“I just,” Dan said once they parted, “I was just thinking of asking you something.”
“What’s that?” Phil asked.
“Um….”
Dan worried his bottom lip between his teeth. He no longer seemed capable of looking directly up at Phil. Phil kissed Dan’s cheek as encouragement.
“Come on,” he said. “Whatever it is, it’s probably fine.”
He hadn’t considered the fact that maybe Dan felt strange admitting certain things, too. Phil had seen the changes the closer they got, and the more comfortable they became together. Phil was certain Dan had passed all those initial barriers and that Phil was the weird one, stuck in a loop of thoughts in his head. Thoughts that made it difficult for Phil to fully show who he was, even if Dan was the first person to ever see or hear a lot of the strange on-goings of Phil’s mind.
“It’s kind of a big thing,” Dan said, glancing up at Phil carefully. “You absolutely don’t have to say yes even if I know you’ll want to. But you don’t have to do anything just for my sake, alright? What you want matters.”
Phil schooled his expression. He felt concerned, surprised, and almost scared of what this question Dan had could be. It sounded a lot more serious now.
“I promise to say no if I don’t want to,” Phil heard himself agree.
Dan nodded.
“I didn’t bring my laundry this time,” he admitted carefully. “I brought my stuff. I… I hate the dorms, Phil. I would rather just stay here.”
Phil’s breath caught in his throat, and Dan noticed.
“I’ll find somewhere else to rent if you don’t want to,” Dan hurried to say. “I swear. Don’t feel backed into a corner.”
For some reason, Phil couldn’t find a single word to say.
“I’m sorry,” Dan said.
He tried to get up, out from under Phil. Phil sat up and let Dan lean back against the wall. Dan wrapped his arms around his bent legs and rested his chin on top of his knees, as if literally folding in on himself. Making himself impossibly smaller.
“God, I’m stupid,” Dan gritted between his teeth, a choked up sound escaping his lips.
Phil’s heart thundered inside and he put his hand on top of Dan’s on his knees. He felt like an idiot. His insides were practically singing at Dan’s suggestion. He wanted nothing more than to have Dan live here full time. But his stupid brain did not work with his mouth and so Dan probably assumed Phil was completely disinterested. Phil had seen Dan cry several times over the past year, but Phil had never been the catalyst for it before.
“Dan,” Phil finally managed to say. “Stop that. I want you to live here.”
Dan looked up at Phil. Phil’s thumb was rubbing soothing circles over Dan’s knuckles. Dan gave a tight smile.
“I told you not to say it if you don’t want it,” he warned.
“I know,” Phil said. “And I want to.”
Dan dared a much more genuine smile at that, though still reserved.
“You’re serious?”
“What?” Phil grinned. “You think our plans to get our own cabin in the woods with twenty dogs that we’ve already individually named was just for shits and giggles?”
Dan chuckled wetly. He wiped his eye. No tears had escaped, but now Phil could tell that the wetness there was dangerously close to escaping them.
“Of course not,” Dan said.
“Well, our road there starts here, then,” Phil said.
He sat back against the wall next to Dan. He stretched an arm out and curled it around him. Dan sighed, relaxing finally, and rested his head against Phil’s shoulder. Phil’s hand came to play with Dan’s hair.
“You really hate the dorms, huh?”
He could feel Dan nod.
“I’m considering dropping out,” Dan whispered.
He really was scared. Phil hadn’t picked up on any strange mood from Dan once he arrived, but given the situation Dan had walked in on that might be understandable. Still, Phil felt like he was lacking in the ‘understanding boyfriend’ department. He never wanted Dan to feel anything but seen with him. He’d had enough of that living with his family.
“That’s alright,” Phil said. “Whatever you decide, I’m here and you can stay.”
Dan stared up at Phil. Phil felt his own eyes fill with tears just from the genuine look of surprise on Dan’s face.
“Thank you,” Dan rushed out.
He sat up, burying his face in the crook between Phil’s neck and shoulders. Phil’s hand, still in Dan’s hair, kept him steady there.
A lot of surprising firsts. More were to come once Dan moved in. Phil found himself looking forward to every single one.