Katanna



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    Hayden: Jackie is very jealous of your manny.
    Hayden: Says he’s incredible and that a bunch of the school moms are trying to get play dates with Violet.

    Shane: He is great.
    Shane: Kind of a menace, too, but Violet loves him, so I overlook some things.

    Hayden: Oh, I’m sure.
    Hayden: She also said he’s super hot.
    Hayden: Like he missed his calling as a model hot.

    Shane: Geez, Hayd. You want to marry him or something?

    Hayden: NO.
    Hayden: I just thought maybe for you, ya know?
    Hayden: You haven’t dated anyone like…ever.

    Shane: I’m not going to get involved with my daughter’s manny.
    Shane: That would be irresponsible.
    Shane: Even if he is stupid model hot.
    Shane: And obnoxiously charming and funny.
    Shane: Plus, he cooks, and has the best accent.
    Shane: And is amazing with my daughter.
    Shane: God. Fuck my life.

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    29 Apr 2026

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    The first thing you should know about time loops is that they’re really fucking hard to break. The second thing is that you can never break one in such a way that it is incapable of returning.

    The third thing you should know is that everyone around you has probably been stuck in a time loop at one point or another, and they made it out alive. This is only comforting if you’re a numbers guy, or if you’re the kind of guy who talks to others about how it feels to live the same day over and over and over and over and over and over again.

    Shame if you’re not; the most important thing you should know about breaking a time loop is that it helps to tell someone you’re trapped in one in the first place.

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    22 Apr 2026

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    22 Apr 2026

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    Shane has an emergency wisdom tooth extraction.

    Ilya takes care of him.

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    21 Apr 2026

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    Shane’s eyes snap open. Wait a second.

    “Ilya,” Shane says, propping himself up on his elbows. “Ilya, wake up.”

    Ilya makes a pained noise, eyes still shut. “I shut curtains already.”

    “It’s not that. Ilya, hey. Don’t go back to sleep.” Ilya tries to bury back into Shane’s chest, but adrenaline knifes through Shane’s hangover long enough for him to peel Ilya off and roll him into his back. Ilya blinks blearily up at him, starfished in the sheets. Beautiful and naked and missing his mother’s cross.

     

    OR: When Ilya’s cross goes missing after the Centaurs celebrate their first Stanley Cup win, Shane is determined to get it back. And so are the Centaurs. And the rest of Ottawa.

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    29 Mar 2026