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“Go to Alaska for Christmas! they said… It’ll be fun! They said” Peridot muttered as she tightened the blanket around herself while she laid as close as physically possible to the fireplace without burning herself.
‘All that’s happened to me is a snowball in the face and freezing my butt off’ she thought. Everyone else had fallen asleep some time ago, playing all day in the snow would tire anyone out and since they wanted to go to this ice park the next day they decided to sleep in early.
Steven and his parents thought it would be a good idea to bring everyone to Alaska for Christmas this year. Since Peridot didn’t need to go back home for the holiday break and didn’t really feel like spending her entire break alone in her dorm, she reluctantly agreed. And she really didn’t know why she agreed to this insanity. It’s so cold that she can’t take two steps without shivering outside and it’s almost always dark out being as they’re so far up north that they are LITERALLY in the North Pole! Well she doesn’t really think this is the ACTUAL North Pole, but it says so in the name so she’ll be trusting that for now. One thing she didn’t realize before going on this trip however was that Lapis Lazuli was coming as well. Peridot couldn’t deny that she found the woman attractive. Though the only interaction they’ve had were passing each other in the dorm hall and the fact that she was in her literature class. Which is where Peridot finds herself staring off in her direction most of the time. She had thought this would finally give her a chance to get to know her, but with the cold causing her prosthesis to freeze over and having to go back inside to warm it up every twenty minutes. It didn’t really give her much time to open up a conversation with the mysterious woman.
Peridot sighed and closed her eyes as she tried to get some sleep for whatever activities everyone had planned for Christmas Day. Maybe she’d finally have a chance to talk to Lapis tomorrow she thought. When all of a sudden she felt a cold breeze and heard the front door shut. She quickly sat up and put on her glasses and caught a glimpse of blue hair walk past the window.
“Lapis…?” She said in confusion. Surely she must’ve imagine it, who in their right mind would go out at this hour in the freezing cold? She looked back at the sleeping bag where lapis slept and found it empty.
“She’s insane…” Peridot whispered. And laid back down. ‘Maybe she left something outside, or just wanted to go for a walk’ she thought and decided she was not going to try and follow her outside.
Two minutes later she found herself zipping up her coat and made sure her prosthesis was wrapped up nicely for the cold. She made sure she shut the door as quickly and as quietly as possible behind her as not to wake up the others or let the cold air in. She shivered and pulled her coat to herself tighter. She looked around until she saw fresh footprint going to the side of the cottage towards the back. She followed the prints until it suddenly stopped dead. She looked up and found a ladder that was attached to the side of the house, probably used for easy access when shoveling the snow off the roof and other fun things like that. She thought about it for a minute and looked at her leg. She took in a deep breath
“Alright, Peridot, you can do this just… hold on tight and hope you don’t slip and die” she whispered to herself and grabbed on to the ladder. Five minutes later she was pulling herself up on to the roof and crawled as far away from the edge as possible before standing up shakily and brushing off the snow on her.
“Most people take a walk because they actually want to be alone you know” a voice surprises her a bit and she loses a bit of balance, but straightens up.
“O-oh… um I’m sorry I just…” now that she actually thought about it, it really wasn’t her place to follow lapis out here. They were barely acquaintances and this must’ve looked really creepy.
“It’s fine it was getting a bit boring sitting here alone anyway. You can sit if you want” lapis says and looks back up at the stars.
Peridot felt awkward, but as quickly as she could, sat down beside Lapis making sure to give some distance.
“So what made you decide to follow me out here?” Lapis asks.
“Oh… well I didn’t actually think about it. I mean I see you around the dorm hall a lot and you’re in one of my classes. So when I found out you were also here at the trip I thought that it would be… nice to get to know you. But we never really got the time during the activities earlier so when I say you out the window I guess I just… sorta followed.” Peridot scratched at her cheek not really knowing what to say exactly, but it was a start.
“You live in the dorm hall? Hmm… yeah I think I’ve seen you around. You’re the cute one who always has her tablet in her arms” lapis said as she remembered.
‘C-Cute one…?!’ Peridot shook the thought away and laughed nervously
“Ha… y-yeah that’s me. I-It helps me a lot with my work” Peridot replied, glad to know that Lapis actually knew she existed before today.
“I’m surprised someone from the Dorm Hall isn’t running away in fear. Aren’t you scared I’d flip out and assault you or something?” Lapis let’s put a forced laugh.
Peridot knew about the rumors. It was hard not to when you live only a few doors down from each other. The rumor was that a certain blue haired woman lived alone in a dorm because all other roommates were scared of being in a room with someone that had anger issues. Peridot didn’t know how much of it was true.
“Yeah I heard rumors about anger issues, but I never really put much stock in gossip. I like to get to know someone before I decide what I feel about them” Peridot stated blushing just a little bit, but thanks to the cold it wasn’t that obvious it was from her statement that her cheeks were flush. Lapis looked at her with a steely gaze.
“And if the rumors are true? What then?” Was all she said as she continued to observe Peridot’s reaction. Peridot just looked up at the sky observing the stars.
“Well… then I’ll say that anger probably comes from somewhere and I can’t really judge you for that. That would be hypocritical of me…” Peridot paused and her hand reflexively touched her right leg.
“…I know anger. It’s… an old friend” Peridot finishes and puts her hand back in her pocket.
“What do you mean?” Now Lapis was curious at that statement.
Peridot looks at her and bite her lip in thought. After a few second she took in a deep breath of cold air and made a decision.
“A few years ago I was in an accident that involved a drunk driver, and because of that I had lost my leg. All I remember when I woke up in the hospital and realized what had happened was that… I felt angry. I was angry at the guy who decided he would drive while drunk. I was angry at being in that car that night. I was angry that the doctors couldn’t save my leg, I was angry at the pain that I felt once medications wore off. I was angry when I healed enough and was fitted for a prosthesis cause it made it seem real… final. I was angry during physical therapy realizing I would need a piece of steel to walk. I was angry at the pity I saw in people’s eyes. I was angry… because this was going to be my life now.” Peridot sighed, her breath visible in the cold air.
“All I knew was anger. I and everyone around me thought it was justified. I had JUST lost my leg who wouldn’t be angry right? But months went by, then a year, then two and I just… felt angrier, it just felt stronger.” Peridot looked on in the distance recalling the memory.
“Then I got to Beach City U. And I found myself tinkering with some parts to fix my laptop at one of the benches and in comes Steven. That’s how we met. He asked if I was building a robot. I remember looking at him the anger slowly rising, but it stopped when I saw the genuine excitement and happiness in his eyes. And I thought… ‘I want that again… that excitement, that happiness, not the anger” Peridot smiles at that memory.
“So I went to the counselor… which turned out to be Steven’s mom. And I finally figured out why the anger was so strong. Why it never left” Peridot picked up some snow and started to mold it in her hands a bit.
“What was it? The reason?” Lapis asked her voice seemed shaky, almost as if she didn’t want to know the answer. Peridot threw the small snowball off the roof.
“I was angry… because I was still angry” Peridot stated. Lapis scrunched up her face.
“That… makes no sense, dude” lapis chuckled and threw some snow at Peridot.
“Hey!” Peridot returned in kind and they had a small snowball fight just flicking snow at each other. They both found themselves laughing. Until Peridot called a truce while catching her breath from all the laughing.
“But it was true… I was angry because I was still feeling angry at the situation. I put on this pressure on myself that I should have have felt fine after a few months or after a year. When that time came and I wasn’t feeling okay… I got angry… at myself, and that spilled out into the world… I was angry… that I still wasn’t better.” Peridot said brushing off the snow from her coat.
“So how did you get rid of it? The anger?” Lapis asked looking at Peridot.
“I can’t really say it’s fully gone. Years with it kind of became a detriment to me actually getting better about the accident. But once I realized that it was okay that I wasn’t okay yet. That I didn’t need to set a time frame for myself and say I should be fine by now. The anger I felt towards myself, because of these expectations, slowly started to dissipate. And now I know that even if it takes me years or maybe even a lifetime to feel better. That it’s okay. That my emotions are real and they are okay to feel.” Peridot said with a smile. Lapis just looked at her. And when Peridot realized the gaze she suddenly became flustered.
“You’re strong” lapis suddenly states. Peridot looks at her and shakes her head with a smile.
“I wasn’t strong alone, I had help.” Peridot looked back at the direction of the ladder indicating the others. She looks back to Lapis and took in a breath.
“If what you say is true… that the rumors have some truth. I just want you know that… you don’t have to go at it alone.” Peridot said as she placed her hand on top of Lapis’. The other woman looks down at their hands and let’s out a small smile.
“Thanks, Peridot” Lapis says softly. And for the first time in a long time. Lapis really did feel… not alone.
This catches Peridot off guard and she pulls back all flustered.
“Y-You know my name…?” Peridot stuttered out. Lapis snorts.
“Of course I know your name you, dork, I’m also friends with Steven remember? And plus I called you cute so… I think it would be rather rude of me not to know the name of the girl I was thinking of asking out” Lapis says with a grin.
“A-A-Asking out…?!” Peridot was starting to feel very flustered and her face was redder than a Christmas ornament. Lapis continued to laugh. As Peridot tried to hide her face in her coat.
Lapis finally settles down when suddenly both of them were bathe in glowing lights. Both of them looked up to see beautiful rays of light dancing in the sky, colors so bright and vibrant.
“Wow… is that…” Lapis was speechless
“The Northern Lights…” Peridot said and finished Lapis’ sentence.
“It’s beautiful” Lapis finally states.
Both women just stared up in the sky in awe of the display. It was like the sky was singing and dancing to it’s own melody and that they being brought along for the ride.
*beep beep*
A sound pulls them out of their reverie as Peridot looks at her watch, the source of the sound.
“It’s midnight” she says. As Lapis leaned over to look as well.
“So it is.” Lapis chuckles and places her hand on top of Peridot’s.
“Merry Christmas, Peridot”
“Merry Christmas, Lapis”
And both stared off into the sky watching the colorful dance. Their hands warm despite the freezing air.