Chapter Text
Bernie recoiled as she saw her reflection in the black of her laptop screen. She had been scrolling through that particular careers website for longer than she had realised before her laptop had lost power and died leaving her staring back at her own face. Sitting up from her slouched position on her settee, she grimaced at the pain in her back and remarked just how tired she looked, quitting her dream job for the love of her life and the chance to build a family had turned out not to be the best idea she ever had. She was brought out of tearful thoughts by a knock the door.
‘Yes, yes! I’m coming’ she tutted at the second round of knocks. She was met by a face strikingly similar to her own, her cousin, Kate. Kate grinned at her Cousin and stepped over the threshold enveloping her into a bone crushing hug. Classic Kate.
‘Hello Wolfie’, she said, finally releasing Bernie.
‘Kate! What are you doing here! It’s so good to see you!’ Bernie led her cousin through to the sitting room, suddenly embarrassed by her little flat in Holby. Kate’s residences had always been more palatial affairs in central London. Bernie had often spent nights there if she was ever in London. Although she knew she never needed an excuse to see her cousin. She suddenly noticed the Standard issue army duffel bag that was slung over Kate’s shoulder. ‘This isn’t your usual neck of the woods’, Bernie probed further, wanting to know why Kate had strayed so far from her beloved London.
‘Ah yes, well, about that’, Kate cleared her throat, ‘I’m out of a job Bern..’
‘Oh?’
‘Yep, suspended pending review! Budget cuts and then all our international partners pulled out, Im still waiting to hear back from my contacts in Geneva…and I.. I don’t know what’s going to happen to Os or me or..or.. I.’ Kate’s voice thickened and she struggled for breath for a moment.
‘Oh, Kate.. I.. I’m so sorry’, Bernie didn’t know much about the nature of her cousin’s job, but she knew how important it was to her carrying on the work her uncle, Kate’s father, had started. Bernie gestured to the sofa where she had been lounging moments before, Kate perched as Bernie wandered into to the open plan kitchen to put the kettle on. ‘Tea or coffee?’
‘Erm, coffee please, milk no sugar. …I couldn’t stay here for a couple of days could I? I don’t want to put you out or anything, it’s really just until I can figure out what to do next’.
‘Kate, of course you can stay! It might be a bit cosy…But sure.’
‘Thanks. I.. I just wanted to get out of London for a bit… you know, Recalibrate I suppose..’
‘Mmm,’ hummed Bernie, she didn’t really need to but she wanted to let Kate know she was listening as she bumbled about in the kitchen. Finding what she had been looking for she held up the bottle of Whiskey to her cousin and wiggled her eyebrows.
‘Oh go on then, you’re a bad influence you know!’
Bernie honked at this being so close in age meant that they had gotten into various scrapes together during their teenage years. She glugged the whiskey into both their coffees with a liberal hand. ‘Well cousin mine, it seems we’re in a very similar boat’ said Bernie taking a sip of her laced coffee.
‘Hah!’ It was Kate’s turn to honk, ‘Is yours rapidly sinking too?’.
‘Mmm’, Bernie took a deep breath, ‘I quit my job’.
‘Why! What happened? Bernie! You loved Nairobi!’.
‘I left for Serena, to come back and be a family… and then she dumped me, so.. Here I am..’. Bernie sighed.
Kate muttered something about ravens and beheading. ‘So what was the issue?’ She asked, confused.
Bernie sighed again, ‘I think it was all too domestic for her. You know, I think she fell in love with this big macho army medic and when it then when it came to it, it all got too domestic, she said she couldn’t imagine me putting the bins out in my slippers’.
‘God if someone offered to put the bins out for me, slippers or no slippers I wouldn’t stop shagging them!’ proclaimed Kate.
Bernie snorted and swatted her cousin, ‘And that she can’t imagine me being able to push a swing properly.’
Kate cut her off, ‘wait, she knows you have two kids right? Have you ever had any complaints about your swing pushing technique before?’
‘Well, no but it wasn’t just that. I think the distance was hard, the loneliness for her, and maybe it had something to do with the F1 she’d been screwing..’ Bernie trailed off willing herself not to cry. Kate was one of the very few people that Bernie could truly let her guard down with, no need for stiff upper lips. Kate put down her drink on the small coffee table littered with medical journals and pulled her younger cousin close so that Bernie’s head was on her shoulder. Kate stroked her back as a few little sobs escaped.
‘Bernie, I’m so sorry, I really thought everything was working out okay, I... you seemed so happy when I saw you at Christmas.’
‘I was, we were… Guinevere came along’, Bernie stifled another sob at the thought of her grand-niece and all the Christmasses and birthdays that she would never get to see. ‘and I just felt so invested and..-‘
‘Why didn’t you call? When did this happen?’ asked Kate, thumbing tears off Bernie’s face.
‘The day before yesterday, I thought she’d have called before now but she hasn’t.’ Bernie snuffled.
‘Oh Wolfie, I’m sorry I’ve come at an awful time!’
‘No! its fine! Its nice to have someone to talk to. I haven’t heard from anyone since. Well, and Cam is busy with his placement and Charlotte isn’t replying. I never realised really how I kindo of just slotted in to her world and now Im not sure where I stand with mutual friends and… You know, family, can I still see Jason? How will it affect him? I suppose not really too much as I was never around in the first place and-‘
‘Bernie, it’s not your fault. Have you really been sitting here for 2 days worrying?’ Bernie looked sheepish and nodded.
‘It’s not really like me but I’ve not got work to keep me busy so…’
‘C’mon, go and get that whiskey, let’s put a film on and cry it out.’ said kate, stretching her long limbs out in front of her before tucking them underneath herself and pulling Bernie's throw of the back of the sofa for the both of them.
‘Who’s the bad influence now… Tiger’.