Chapter Text
Mirai rifled through the briefcase, double and triple checking that everything was in its place. He could not afford to slip up. Not today.
Finally satisfied, he took a deep breath and pressed the buzzer.
“All Might’s Office and Koshihori Dry Cleaning, home of the 30 minute power wash”
“I have an appointment with All Might at 11:30…”
“Sure thing, hon. Come right on in. First door on your left.”
He made his way into the foyer, carefully stepping around the piles of dirty clothes. This was an embarrassment . All Might was the greatest hero Japan had ever known, and he shared his office with… a Dry Cleaner? Apparently All Might needed him more than he thought.
Mirai had spent months , maybe even years, preparing for this. As All Might’s receptionist greeted him, he knew every word she was going to say before she even opened her mouth. He’d accounted for just about everything, with the help of enough spreadsheets to make a project manager cry. He was Ready.
Still, there was one thing his foresight couldn’t predict. All Might. As the door to the conference room creaked open, he found himself in the long shadow of the man himself. Seven point two feet of pure muscle, the man who could level a city without breaking a sweat. He was magnificent.
Mirai could taste bile at the back of his throat as he handed over his business card, but he managed to keep a straight face. He’d met All Might before - he’d won a lot of contests - but this was the first time he’d had the man’s full attention. Better make it count.
He flicked the projector on, and his magnum opus flared to life on the screen. 28 meticulously prepared slides, with only the finest of clipart and animated transitions. Would All Might think it was cool? What a stupid question, of course he would. He'd animated each sentence individually! This could not fail.
He spoke, barely even pausing to breathe, for 25 uninterrupted minutes. By the end of it, All Might had seen his entire merchandise collection, his resume, and seventeen different variations on the star wipe slide transition.
For the first time since he started, he looked his audience-of-one in the eyes.
"Thank you for your time. Did you have any questions?"
All Might’s eyes were dark, unreadable as always, but there was something about his stance that seemed off . Maybe the casual fan wouldn’t have noticed, but Mirai was no casual.
"Uh... several. But, I'm afraid I must cut and run, my good man. Something's come up - uh - we'll arrange another time - ask for Mr. Yagi - my personal secretary, he will take care of it."
Before Mirai even had the chance to respond, All Might had vanished in a technicolor blur, leaving his would-be-sidekick staring blankly at the exit.
His mind reeled. Was All Might sick? Did he dislike the presentation? No, that was impossible, who wouldn't be impressed by this much custom WordArt? At least he’d asked to meet again…
Mirai wandered out to the reception desk and explained his predicament.
"Oh, you're in luck, Mr. Yagi has just come in!" the receptionist picked up her desk phone and dialed the extension.
"Yagi, there's a man here who wants to see you, says his name is..." she looked over at Mirai.
"Sir Nighteye"
"'Sir Mighteye', he's here to see you about scheduling an appointment with All Might?"
Mirai twitched a little at the mistake, but decided not to push it.
"He says he'll come down and get you in a second, feel free to take a seat."
Soon enough, the lift doors slid open, and out staggered the least impressive secretary Mirai had ever seen.
The man looked like he'd never even been near a hairbrush. His clothes were about 12 sizes too large (impressive, given his height), his posture was atrocious, and the stack of papers in his white-knuckled grip looked like they were one stiff breeze away from slipping out entirely.
This was All Might’s personal secretary?! Well… maybe he was judging too much on appearances. Even this… person... was probably more qualified than your average M.B.A., after all. He probably had some seriously impressive Excel macros. All Might wouldn’t hire just anyone . Oh, maybe he had a quirk that gave him a photographic memory, or an insight into - ah, right. He was standing right there.
"My name is Sir Nighteye, pleased to make your acquaintance.".
"Yagi Toshinori." he said, flashing a grin which spanned the whole of his thin face. It looked a little odd, but somehow the man radiated warmth and sincerity. Mirai found it surprisingly endearing, though he still had his misgivings about the man's inability to put on a necktie properly.
"Now, you wanted to arrange a meeting with All Might? Come into my office, and we'll work out a time." He began walking down a nearby corridor.
"Thank you," Mirai said, as he followed after, wondering distantly why he needed to come down in a lift when his office was on this floor.
"So... I’ve been told you're All Might's private secretary?"
"Correct! They say I'm the next best thing." he grinned, and made a comical flexing motion with his spindly arm.
Somehow, Mirai found himself unable to suppress an honest-to-god smile. What the hell? It wasn't even that funny...
***
Mr. Yagi led him into a smallish office towards the edge of the building, which Mirai suspected had been pulled directly from his own worst nightmares. Every surface was covered in dust, messy papers and knickknacks; and what little All Might merchandise there was had been violently squashed beneath the debris. He wanted to cry.
"Ah, let me just find my- well, All Might's diary, it should be here somewhere." He rifled through the nearest stack of papers, which toppled and fanned out across the desk. Mirai could make out more than a few "URGENT - OVERDUE" notices.
Any remaining benefit of the doubt evaporated. Mr. Yagi continued his fossicking, apparently unperturbed, while Mirai quietly steamed in the corner. He couldn’t hold back any longer.
"Do... you need any help with that?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can manage! Won't be a minute."
Mirai grimaced. Why did All Might hire this man? As his private secretary, no less? As far as he could tell, the scarecrow fidgeting before him was the sole cause of the symbol of peace's failure to lodge... over two dozen incident reports? Were things really this dire?
"No, really," he groaned. "I'm happy to help. Anything to assist All Might!" He forced what little enthusiasm he could muster into his tone.
"Well... I suppose I could use some help with - Ah! There it is!" He grinned, apparently pleased with this accomplishment. He flipped through the pages of the diary, trying to find a free spot. "Oh dear. That week's all filled up, too."
Mirai winced as he leaned over the table, inspecting the book. This was incredibly rude, but...
"Meeting with... Kobayashi Industrial... about toy line sales? Why is All Might himself going to this?"
"Ah, yes, well... Kanata-san has expressed some difficulty negotiating with the manufacturer, so I-"
“Cancel that, move the meeting with the Tokyo Police Department to thursday, this should be handled by Finance… let me see those 281-B forms.”
Toshinori snapped to attention, producing what few 281-B forms he could find. Mirai groaned and pulled the other seven from a nearby foothill.
"... how old are these?" Mirai asked, not certain he wanted to know the answer.
"Umm... well.. this one is from... June..."
Mirai wanted to scream. It was November . These forms were meant to be lodged within the week, or ideally within 24 hours of an incident. He could see some evidence of Mr. Yagi attempting to fill out the form and then apparently getting distracted. In fact, one of the sentences trailed off mid-word. Incredible.
"Sorry, I was busy with... there was an incident in Hokkaido... On the 28th? Or 27th..."
"The 28th. The villain with the storm quirk, working with Sensory Overload." Mr. Yagi nodded in agreement. "All Might was fantastic that day, even though his movements seemed unusually affected by Sensory Overload's distortion aura. He rescued everyone, stopped the warehouse from collapsing, and his press comments afterwards were hysterical. It's in my top 50, in fact-” he noticed himself rambling and stopped. “Wait, why were you so busy?"
"Um... I was just busy. It generated a lot of paperwork."
"I... can see that."
Mirai took a deep breath and dragged a chair across to where Mr. Yagi was sitting. He cleared a 281-B-sized space on the desk in front of them and set to work.
"I can do most of this on my own, but there are a few sections that require direct comment from the primary incident resolver, which is, of course, All Might. I don't suppose you collected responses from him, by any chance...?"
"Actually, yes! I can provide those!"
"Oh? May I have the tapes, or papers?"
"I, um. Don't have any of those. But I can remember!"
Mirai looked doubtful. Please tell me you aren't just going to make something up because you're scared I'll yell at you...
"Hm. Alright, what was All Might's take on the villains' ongoing threat to the public, if released from custody?"
"Ah, well, the storm villain... seemed very frightened up close. It seemed almost as if he didn't want to be there."
"Mm, that's consistent with his testimony in court." It sounded like this actually was an official All Might comment, if a little paraphrased.
"Oh? I thought the proceedings were private."
"...My former agency... had a falling out with their legal team at that time. I represented Danger Zone - one of the first responders - in the trial. You probably don't remember him, because his quirk was of no use against the villains, and he likely did more harm than good."
"Oh, the wiggling fellow?"
"...Yes. That one." Mirai smirked at the description. He was relieved to hear Mr. Yagi was at least paying close attention to All Might's fights. Danger Zone was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it affair.
"Well, he did complicate things a little, but All Might was able to wiggle out just fine, so no harm done." Mirai had to suppress an actual grin. How concerning.
"Ahem. Well, returning to the matter of the storm villain..."
" Ah, well, his quirk - particularly the lightning element - was a major public hazard. A couple of bystanders came within a hair's breadth of getting fried... Overall, though, I believe he'd be a good candidate for rehabilitation"
"Excellent, and when you say "I", I assume that you're quoting All Might directly and not just letting me know what his secretary's opinion is."
"....Yes. As for the other villain, whom I believe to be the ringleader - his quirk is less dangerous to bystanders, but he seemed to show very little remorse for his actions. Of course, I believe everyone is entitled to a second chance, but he is likely to need more time to make a change, if he is to do so."
"Thank you, Mr. Yagi." Mirai lifted his pen. He may well have done something in the second that followed, but all Mr. Yagi saw was an especially secretarial tornado, and then, a 281-B form with all 11 pages completed to perfection.
"Stamp here, please."
Mirai took some degree of pleasure from the expression of stunned delight on the secretary's face. In fact, he found himself genuinely glad to be of assistance, and not just because it made All Might's life easier.
***
The two of them worked together for the rest of the afternoon, Mirai in turn entertained by Mr. Yagi's jokes and horrified by the number of entry level tasks that needed to be explained in detail.
What ultimately tipped the balance, then, was Mr. Yagi's impressive ability to keep pace with him on All Might trivia. Sure, he wasn't quite up to Mirai's standards, but who was? More importantly, he seemed to have some serious behind-the-scenes knowledge. How long had he been working at Might Productions? Some of these stories were ten years old...
"Oh, that's a common misconception - well, technically All Might's first costume was just a sports jacket and a shirt."
"From his time in America, yes, but I don't count that as an official costume, since it was really just streetwear. It's a wonder it took him as long to switch to a real costume as it did, honestly."
"Ah, yes, well, it was comfortable. Unfortunately, during a rescue - actually, this was the first time he met professor Shield - the shirt just fell right off. It was quite embarrassing."
Mirai's eyes went wide. "You've got to be joking."
"True story! I promise!"
"I don’t suppose you have any photos to share?" he said, in a tone of voice that might have almost passed for comedic.
It took Mr. Yagi a second to realize the implications of this comment, but when he did, it sent him into a coughing fit. By the end of it, a trail of blood hung from his mouth. Mirai was startled, but noticed Mr. Yagi seemed more ashamed than worried.
"I-Don't worry, this is normal" he said, glancing around for something to wipe up the mess. Mirai held out his handkerchief.
"Ah, thank you very much. I was sure I had one around here, but..."
"It's fine. Do you need a break?"
"No. I'm fine. I apologize for scaring you. Um... I'll wash this and give it back to you." Mirai didn't think Mr. Yagi looked even remotely fine, but then, he wasn't the man's doctor. Maybe this really was normal. And fine. He certainly hoped so.
He tried not to linger on it. The two of them got back to work, and soon enough they were back to chatting and joking away. By the end of the afternoon, they had cleared out every single piece of paperwork left on Mr. Yagi’s desk.
“Mr. Nighteye, I cannot thank you enough for your help. You’re a real hero!”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad we could get it all finished.”
“Ah, yes. Um. Well. That isn’t… quite all of it.”
“Er…”
Mr. Yagi shuffled towards a door at the back of his office. He hesitantly turned the knob, and before the door was even halfway open a stack of papers half his height cascaded onto the floor. It was unclear quite how deep the room went, because every corner of it was filled to ceiling height with stacks of A4 sheets and envelopes.
“No… This isn’t possible. This is a practical joke.”
Mr. Yagi hung his head in shame.
“Like I said… a lot of paperwork.”
Nighteye stood in stunned silence for a few seconds.
“So… same time tomorrow?”