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The yellow leafs falling in the wind paints a beautiful picture before him. Dan is sitting next to him on a bench, legs crossed and straightened fringe covering one of his eyes. Phil can’t believe Dan’s tight black jeans have enough give to allow the position, but Dan somehow manages. He has a tendency to find the strangest position to sit on, wherever he is. It’s a trait that Phil hadn’t known about before this weekend and one he’s found himself grow very fond of.
There are lot of little things that are different now that they’re together. It feels more real. Phil second guesses himself in ways he wouldn’t do over Skype or text. Dan is a person, and he’s just as pretty and just as ridiculous and just as clever in real life. Phil gets his camera out of his backpack. The sun is shining, creating warm spots over the city. One of them is on Dan, beaming down creating soft shadows and a tanned glow on his skin.
Dan snaps out of his thoughts and turns when he notices Phil move in his peripheral. Since they arrived to this off-center, private little park in the outskirts of the city Phil’s been weirdly quiet. He stands up, tall and slim and with an air of confidence that Dan hadn’t taken note of over the internet. It’s in the way he holds himself. He can be strange and awkward sometimes, just like Dan, but he seems comfortable with himself. Dan both envies and admires the trait.
“What are you doing?” Dan asks.
Phil just points the camera at Dan, then takes a few steps back to find the perfect framing. He sticks his tongue out in concentration. Either he hadn’t heard Dan’s question or he’s ignoring it.
Dan shifts where he’s sat, stretches his back. Phil nods approvingly, snapping a couple shots.
“Is this for twitter?” Dan asks.
He pouts his lips a little bit, musses his hair, and tilts his chin down. He wants to look good.
Phil clears his throat, shifts his weight to the other foot. He hasn’t been thinking about twitter for hours. Not youtube either. Yesterday they filmed a q and a video, and since they turned the camera off afterwards he hasn’t been thinking about content at all.
“No, this is for me,” he answers earnestly.
Dan blushes. Phil can tell from the way his on-camera expression drops and a real smile hesitantly stretches his lips. Phil takes a step closer and snaps a photo. It comes out a bit blurry. Dan stretches one leg out and finds Phil’s knee. He kicks softly.
“Hey,” Phil grins.
He takes a step forwards and places a hand on Dan’s shoulder. The touches are still new. They’re so much. They create an energy field that could shock the breath out of him. Dan is so real. And his happy smile has become smug and teasing.
“Put the camera down,” Dan says.
He grabs Phil’s arm and pulls him closer. Phil’s heart beats fast as he loses his footing and is pulled down onto the bench next to Dan with a graceless thump. He suddenly feels shy, caught doing something bad. They’ve taken a lot of pictures these past days. Some were posted, others planned to be kept in a folder just for Phil. This is new, though. This isn’t a selfie or a creep-shot or one he asked if he could take. Dan is grinning. Phil’s camera is still in his hand, but in a loose grip on his lap.
“I know a good picture you could take,” Dan says.
His eyes flit down to Phil’s lips. His mouth opens that little bit, small tongue slipping through the seams and wetting his lips like Phil’s found he does before a kiss.
“What’s that?” he asks, trying not to stare back at Dan’s lips.
His eyes don’t meet his. They’re hooded as his gaze is fixed firmly on his objective.
Phil’s mouth. Phil’s mouth is the objective.
Dan leans forward and kisses him. This, they haven’t done. They might be alone in this park, but people could pass and people could see. Phil’s heart races, but he pushes into it and grabs Dan’s jacket a bit too tightly. Eagerly. Something to hold on to so he can forget the fear.
They kiss slowly, sweetly. From tongues dancing together to innocent pecks. Somewhat restrained, not at all what they’ve been doing in Phil’s bedroom. Dan reaches for Phil’s camera. Phil pulls away from the kiss.
“I’m putting it away, okay?” Phil says. “Don’t worry about it.”
He chuckles, taking his backpack from off the ground.
“No,” Dan says.
He chews his bottom lips. Then he says something else, but the words are so quiet and jumbled that Phil can’t make out a single word.
“What?” Phil says.
Their eyes meet. Dan’s cheeks are tinted red.
“I want you to, um,” he says, quietly still. “I want you to take a picture when we kiss.”
Phil’s cheeks go warm.
“Is that such a good idea?” he asks.
He wants to do it too. He wants some type of visual, lasting proof that Dan is his and he is Dan’s. Not in flirty messages online. Just this. What’s really going on. But what if somebody hacked him or found out in some way?
“I dunno,” Dan shrugs. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
He kisses Phil again, and he’s taken aback. For all the moments of shyness, Dan always manages to find some confidence inside that overrides it. Especially if he’s questioned, Phil’s noticed. He is very good at making Phil do what he wants, almost dangerously so, and Phil finds himself dropping the backpack and leaning into the kiss, still holding the camera..
He lets Dan pry it out of his hand and point it on them. Dan smiles, and a breath of laughter bubbles out of him and Phils laughs back. The camera clicks as Dan snaps the photo.
“You’re ridiculous,” Phil says.
He doesn’t have a single thought about passing people or general onlookers now. All he sees are Dan’s crinkled eyes and stretched lips and all he can think about is how close they are to his.
Dan kisses him again and clicks the camera.
“What you want, a photo album?” Phil chuckles.
“Your camera’s shit, mate,” Dan counters. “We need at least one that won’t come out blurry.”
Phil reaches out and grabs Dan’s stretched arm. He forces it down, but once Dan goes with the movement he rubs reassuring circles on the bone of his wrist.
“That’s plenty,” Phil says.
“Yeah,” Dan agrees.
They part, Phil puts the camera away in his bag. He glances at Dan who’s simply looking at him.
“I want to keep kissing you,” Dan says. “Shall we go back home?”
“Sure,” Phil grins.
He really wants to kiss Dan more, too. He wants to keep exploring how far they can go before Dan has to go home. So far it’s been dry humps and frustratingly long make out sessions that leave Phil aching. Maybe this time they’ll take another step further.