Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

wake me up has created a group!

wake me up has added lezbiam, not your hentai, maroon 5 wishes, #1 hot topic stan, ✿ snow white ❀ , and 14 others to the chat!

wake me up: Nedzu thought this would be good for you all, something about bonding, closer friendships, teamwork, that kind of thing

wake me up: and I owe him a few favors so despite literally everyone else’s judgement

wake me up: here we are

fantastic: oh my god sensei is that you??

wake me up: yes.

jack off: i’m dying

wake me up: please don’t, that’s always a hassle to deal with

jack off: ewfrbgaretsbr thanks Aizawa sensei

Staples™: f

wake me up: anyways, don’t cause too much excessive chaos, don’t @ me unless it’s important. Iida and Yaoyorozu are in charge

lezbiam: Thank you for the Mod privileges!

vroom: We will do our best! Thank you, Aizawa-sensei!

lezbiam: We will!

alien queen: y’all cute

fantastic: ^^

vroom: Thank you two, but I don’t feel that kind of attraction.

lezbiam: Yes, thank you for that, but I am actually taken :)

girl: oooo who is it yaomomo??

jack off: it’s me

girl: o congratulations you two!!

friend: would you guys be interested in a double date sometime? (also congrats! kero)

lezbiam: We’ll have to talk about that and plan it out, but I absolutely love that idea! What do you think Kyouka?

jack off: yea, I’m down for it

girl: yay! :D

peppermint boyo: not to interrupt the gay but who is @not your hentai

not your hentai: Shouji

fantastic: that’s amazing

vroom: @wake me up We only have 20 people in the chat, but shouldn’t we have 21?

wake me up: if you seriously want to invite Mineta in, you’re doing it yourself

@wake me up used naughty language! Grr!!

wake me up: ....

wake me up: alright who added Min/ta to the blacklisted words?

Staples™ has gone offline!

fantastic : a true hero

alien queen: Sero out here doing the lord’s work y’all

wake me up: okay had to go to the teachers chat quickly.

pika p1ka binch: thE TEACHERS HAVE A CHAT?!?

wake me up: yes, and it’ll ruin your innocence, stay away from it

wake me up: anyways as I was saying @vroom if you want to add the Grape, you’re going to have to add him yourself

girl: Iida if you add him, be prepared for trouble

fantastic: and make it double

smallmight: might I suggest another option??

smallmight: fuck i forgot this was my tag

peppermint boyo: that’s suspicious Midoriya

smallmight: he’s not my dad!

peppermint boyo: are you sure

deku uwu has changed their name!

deku uwu: very

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PM between deku uwu and wake me up

deku uwu: sensei is it okay if I add someone outside of class a to the chat?

wake me up: who is it?

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deku uwu has added nya binch to the chat!

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PM between deku uwu and wake me up

wake me up: yeah

wake me up: that works

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nya binch: what the fresh fcking hell is this???

deku uwu: welcome to the class A chat Shinsou!

girl: hey Shinsou!!

friend: hello

lezbiam: Wait, who is this?

deku uwu: this is Shinsou, he’s from general studies. remember my first fight match from the sports festival??

jack off: oh yea

jack off: hey man

nya binch: hi

friend: he’s hung out with our group a bunch, we can vouch for him

girl: heck yea!! Shinsou’s really cool guys

deku uwu: And before you ask Iida, Aizawa knows, I asked him, and he said I could

vroom: Oh, well, if Aizawa said it was okay, then it's fine.

lezbiam: Welcome to the chat Shinsou!

nya binch: thanks

Chapter Text

Nedzu's hoes

Tea: @wake me up @not a furry fuk u

Tea: How are the chats going?

not a furry fuk u: my kids already had one

not a furry fuk u: the chat was dead in basically five minutes

Tea: mmm

Tea: Well, that certainly explains how close class 1-B's students seem to be!

Tea: What about the class 1-A chat?

wake me up: unlike Kan's kids, mine apparently hadn't thought about a class group chat

wake me up: they've decided against adding the Grape Fucker

go the fuck to sleep: good for them

wake me up: they've also blacklisted his entire name

go the fuck to sleep: that's perfect

marshy mellow: speaking of Grape Fucker, how's the situation with his parents going?

wake me up: it isn't going at all

marshy mellow: oh dear

Tea: We've hit a wall, it would seem. His parents seem unwilling to make changes, or to even see his behavior for what it really is.

wake me up: they're going on my list of most difficult parents, right under Enji and Bakugou Mitsuki, I swear

wheelie sonic: damn Shouta, three entries in one school year 

KFC: hang on, I thought you expelled people like crazy

KFC: yet you’re struggling to expel this one kid??

Gucci Wishes: Yes, it’s very strange, especially with your track record.

Gucci Wishes: You’re not known for being very lenient, Eraser, yet this year you have the same students you started with.

wake me up: the board’s hesitant to expel one of the class A kids, since they’ve been caught up in all the attacks and the board thinks it’ll be bad press for the school

screm dad: they’re probably right about the bad press, but honestly in the long run that little perv is going to cause way more trouble with the media

Asss: sounds like they’re just making your jobs harder

wake me up: yea

Tea: Getting back on track, how is the class A chat going?

wake me up: well they replaced Mineta with a general studies kid

screm dad: wait did they add OUR general studies kid to the chat?

wake me up: yea

wake me up: Hitoshi’s theirs now

screm dad: YES

screm dad: THE SON HAS MORE FRIENDS

Gucci Wishes: You know sometimes I forget that you two disasters are married with children.

wheelie sonic: same

wake me up: Tensei, you officiated our marriage

screm dad: dude you did body shots at our wedding

go the fuck to sleep: sometimes old age just catches up with you

Asss: you’d know

go the fuck to sleep: say that to my fucking face, bitch

Asss has dropped a location!

Asss: see you there, slut

Chapter Text

fantastic: hey @nya binch @pika p1ka binch

fantastic: what’s with the matching names???

lezbiam: I must admit, I’ve been curious about that too

pika p1ka binch: ddssdgggfas um @nya binch hitoshiyou explain

alien queen: HITOSHI???

Dwayne: whomst

pika p1ka binch has gone offline

nya binch: gasp

nya binch: i’m dating a coward

alien queen: BAKUSQUAD ASSEMBLE @BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL @Staples™

alien queen: OUR BOI BE FUCKIG

Staples™: gasp

nya binch: hey wait a fcking minute

nya binch: no one said shit about fcking

alien queen: but are y’all??

girl: i feel like i’m watching a soap opera

girl: damnit now I want popcorn

peppermint boyo: @deku uwu i have an idea

girl: are you seriously going to try to make popcorn using your quirk todo??

peppermint boyo: absolutely. you asked, you shall receive

maroon 5 wishes: please don’t

maroon 5 wishes: at least not in the kitchen

peppermint boyo: i was gonna go outside

peppermint boyo: the kitchen is safe

jack off: did anyone else hear a for now at the end of that, or was it just me

vroom: Todoroki, I’m begging you, please don’t repeat the egg incident.

Dwayne: what do you mean by egg incident??

alien queen: Y’ALL FORGETTING KAMINARI

alien queen: @nya binch HOW LONG YALL BEEN FUCKING???

jack off: i would really rather hear about the egg incident than kaminari’s sex life @peppermint boyo @vroom help a lesbian out please

nya binch: i can do you one better

nya binch: @wake me up scroll up

wake me up: @alien queen

wake me up: sort this out in dms. i don’t want to see hide or hair of this ever again Ashido. you should know better than to pester your classmates in this manner, especially after your previous experiences.

fantastic: @pika p1ka binch @nya binch oof hey I’m sorry guys, i was the one who brought it up in the first place. I’m kinda at fault here too, really should’ve done that in dms

lezbiam: Yes, I also share part of the blame. I’m sorry Kaminari. And I’m sorry to you too Shinsou.

nya binch: denki forgives all of you, says it’s all okay, and that before yall yell at ashido, she’s already here and it’s a total sap fest

Staples™: wait are you guys actually dating?

nya binch: yea

nya binch: we wanted to keep it quiet just in case it you know, didn’t last. it was gonna come out eventually tho. probably better that it was sooner rather than later

Dwayne: is it going to last??

nya binch: idk dont hit me with that crisis today man

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: it had fucking better

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: Shitty Hair and Pikachu are gonna be fucking unbearable if you break that dumbass’s heart and then I’d have to go and beat your fucking ass

nya binch: that’s fair (denki wants to send you a spongebob meme. you know the one.)

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: IT HAD FUCKING BETTER BE FUCKING FAIR YOU FUCKING NARCOLEPTIC

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: AND DON’T FUCKING SEND A MEME, THIS IS HEARTFELT FUCKING MOMENT

Dwayne: bakubro chill

Dwayne: anyways CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!!!

nya binch: thanks kiri – denki

peppermint boyo: anyways now that that drama is settled, my shirt smells like breadsticks

peppermint boyo: i

peppermint boyo: i don’t understand it

peppermint boyo: i don’t even like breadsticks???

✦~shiny boi ~✦: treason

girl: oh yeah that was me lol

peppermint boyo: what why??

girl: you left it in Deku’s room, and he told me I could borrow one of his shirts (long story) and I thought it was his cause it was just there

girl: and then I put it on and then Tsu and me went out to dinner and I uh,,,

girl: @wake me up is it considered illegal and/or unheroic to steal breadsticks from a restaurant?

wake me up: did you pay for the meal?

friend: yes

wake me up: were they on your table?

girl: not on our table, exactly

girl: but they were on an empty table right next to us and would’ve been thrown away if we hadn’t taken them!!

friend: and technically we did pay for breadsticks

girl: just not those breadsticks

wake me up: alright

wake me up: according to Nedzu and the teachers chat, stealing excess breadsticks from restaurants is a heroic deed and isn’t illegal, and if it is, it shouldn’t be.

girl: yea!! fuck capitalism

wake me up: that is not what I just said, you lunatic of a child

lezbiam: Just leave her be sir.

girl: anyways when we liberated the breadsticks

nya binch: nice word choice

friend: my gf is typing so I’m going to say thank you for her :D

girl: i stuffed them down the shirt and into my bra, cause like. Tsu doesn’t care, it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before.

jack off: i love that that sentence implies Tsuyu has seen you stuff breadsticks down your shirt before

girl: i was referring to my bra and you know,,, my boobs, but okay

peppermint boyo: ew boobs

girl: i respectfully disagree

jack off: mood

lezbiam: This conversation is a mess. 

nya binch: i want it on my wall

nya binch: @wake me up can i do that?

wake me up: you can, but you have to explain it to Eri if and when she asks

nya binch: fck

wake me up: :D

nya binch: no

wake me up: go the fuck to sleep then

nya binch: can denki stay the night?

wake me up: ask yamada

peppermint boyo: you know sometimes I forget that the two of you are actually related and it’s not just me seeing things that aren’t there as a way to cope

wake me up: Todoroki, are you okay?

peppermint boyo is typing....

peppermint boyo is now offline

wake me up: hmm. @everyone lights out is in half an hour. if someone sees Todoroki, make sure he’s okay, alright.

wake me up: I’ve got some things to do. Iida and Yaoyorozu are in charge. I’ll be in the main building.

vroom: Will do.

lezbiam: Mr. Aizawa, would it be helpful if we looked for Todoroki?

wake me up: if it’ll make you feel better, sure. don’t feel pressured to look for him though, all of you at once might spook him. kinda just keep an eye out for him

fantastic: we can do that!

friend: @deku uwu hey is Todoroki with you??

girl: oh that’s a good idea Tsu

friend: it doesn’t have to be a good idea to work

vroom: I don’t believe Midoriya’s online. He didn’t respond earlier when Todoroki tried to @ him.

girl: that’s right

lezbiam: Surely if you spammed him, the amount of notifications would get his attention.

girl: i’m down to try it

friend: not here, we shouldn’t spam Aizawa when he’s busy

friend: let’s create a separate chat for that

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girl has created a group!

girl has added friend, vroom, deku uwu, andpeppermint boyo to the chat!

friend has renamed the chat to Operation Spam!

friend: alright

girl: 1

girl: 2

friend: 3

girl: 3!!!

vroom: 3

Nedzu my class is broken – E

wake me up: @DAD MIGHT is Midoriya on campus?

wake me up: kind of time sensitive

DAD MIGHT: No I don’t think so

marshy mellow: I’ve got the list right in front of me, and he went home this weekend.

marshy mellow: why?

wake me up: Todoroki said some concerning things in class A’s chat and then he disappeared

wake me up: Yaoyorozu is looking for him, and some of Midoriya’s friends are trying to get him to answer his phone. I’ve got the kids on the lookout

wake me up: @Tea looks like we may have another situation sir

Tea: Yes, I can see that. What exactly did Todoroki say?

wake me up has shared a picture!

 Tea: Oh dear, that is concerning.

Tea: @everyone If everyone at Yuuei could please keep an eye out for Todoroki. Recovery Girl, I hope we won’t need your services but just in case.

Our Lord and Savior: I’m already here.

Tea: Thank you. Yagi-san, you have Midoriya Inko’s contact information, correct?

DAD MIGHT: I just got off the phone with her. Young Midoriya’s asleep, with his phone turned off. He’s had it off most of the evening. She’ll keep an eye out for Young Todoroki just in case.

go the fuck to sleep: I’m out with Emi, you want me to come in?

Tea: Stay on standby, but no. Enjoy your time with your girlfriend Kayama.

Asss: Where’s the mido apartment? I’m out on patrol, I might be in the area

DAD MIGHT shared a location!

Asss: fuck nvm I’m nowhere near that

wake me up: Todoroki’s been found.

go the fuck to sleep: oh, thank god

DAD MIGHT: Where was he?

wake me up: Tokoyami found him on the rooftop. They apparently had a talk.

go the fuck to sleep: you’re kidding

Asss: all that fuss and he was still in the dorms

wake me up: I am well aware that I panicked.

go the fuck to sleep: panicked???

screm dad: Babe ily, but you flew into Mama Bear mode

Our Lord and Savior: You’re all on your way to me anyways, right?

wake me up: yes

wheelie sonic: wait wtf was bird kid doing on the roof??

KFC: Tokoyami’s just like that

go the fuck to sleep: ^^

wake me up: It’s not the strangest thing we’ve seen from him.

cowboy babey: I’ve seen him eat an apple.

cowboy babey: I’ve never been the same.

marshy mellow: f

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Chapter Text

PM between deku uwu and peppermint boyo

deku uwu: i just woke up and saw everything from last night

deku uwu: are you okay??

peppermint boyo: yeah, I'm fine.

peppermint boyo: I just

deku uwu: take your time

deku uwu: I'm here for as long as you need Shouto

peppermint boyo: you saw what i typed in the main chat, right?

deku uwu: yea

peppermint boyo: it just slipped and i couldn't take take it back and i started to type and i couldn't stop but i needed to stop because they can't know and i was panicking and i didn't know what else to do but leave it and try to clear my head

deku uwu: i'm sorry i wasn't there to help

peppermint boyo: it's fine i can't ask you to hold my hand forever

deku uwu: i help because i want to, Shouto

deku uwu: never forget that

peppermint boyo: i'm sorry

deku uwu: you've done nothing to apologize for

deku uwu: i can come back early if you need me to

deku uwu: mom will understand

 peppermint boyo: no it's fine

peppermint boyo: you haven't seen her in a while since it's been so busy

peppermint boyo: I'd feel worse if you had to cut your time short with her because of me

deku uwu: if you're sure Shoucchan

peppermint boyo: i am

deku uwu: i'm gonna give you the biggest hug when i see you on Monday though

peppermint boyo: can't wait

peppermint boyo: i have to go, Iida's at my door

deku uwu: bye!! :D

peppermint boyo: bye Midoriya.

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PM between lezbiam and peppermint boyo

peppermint boyo: hey momo

lezbiam: Shouto!

lezbiam: Are you alright? Where are you?

lezbiam: Aizawa didn't tell us much, just that you'd been found and to leave you alone.

peppermint boyo: I'm okay, I guess

peppermint boyo: I talked to Midoriya, that improved my mood

peppermint boyo: I'm currently in my dorm. Aizawa said something about questioning me on what I said, but Recovery Girl told him to let me rest.

lezbiam: If you need anything, just @ me. 

peppermint boyo: actually

peppermint boyo: quick question

peppermint boyo: how'd you ask out Jirou?

lezbiam: Oh, you're finally doing something about your crush on Midoriya?

peppermint boyo: waesfdgfdefsdgacsvc

peppermint boyo: MOMO

lezbiam: I'm taking that as a yes.

lezbiam: And Kyouka was the one who asked me out, but I'm sure if you ask for help, you'll find plenty of people willing to assist!

peppermint boyo: one sec

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Class A

deku uwu has been removed from the chat!

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PM between lezbiam and peppermint boyo

lezbiam: Shouto!

peppermint boyo: you SAID to ask for help

peppermint boyo: i'm asking for help

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nya binch: what the fuck

vroom: Todoroki asked me to do it. I'm a little confused as to why Todoroki wants Midoriya out of the chat too, but I've chosen to trust Todoroki.

Dwayne: @peppermint boyo glad you're okay but wtf dude???

nya binch: the hell did Midoriya do to get kicked out Todoroki??

peppermint boyo: he's too good for this world

maroon 5 wishes: okay, but so is Koda and he's still in the chat

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: FUCKING EI

Dwayne: 

pika p1ka binch: lol kiri just fucking zoomed out of the room

peppermint boyo: well yea, but I don't want to take Koda or Kirishima out on a date, do I?

alien queen: we'll come back to Kiribaku later, it'sTododeku hours babey!!

peppermint boyo: I have no idea what language you're speaking but it is not Japanese

lezbiam: Shouto! Focus!

vroom: Now a lot more things make sense!

vroom: Looking back at it, your behavior around Midoriya is

vroom: Well, it hasn't been too straight actually.

girl: you go Todo!!!!

nya binch: get some

vroom: Those are some of my closest friends, please don't put That imagery in my head.

nya binch: understandable.

peppermint boyo: how do I ask him though??

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: why thE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING THESE DUMBASSES FOR HELP

nya binch: o fuck off

Dwayne: Katsuki be NICE

wake me up: this is such a fucking mess

wake me up: Bakugo, maybe you should step away from the screen for a bit. Hang out with your boyfriend or something

Dwayne: etsrhhfjgvjh

alien queen: lol even Aizawa ships it

wake me up: someone needs to add Midoriya back into the chat. Create a separate one for Todoroki's love woes if you need to.

 BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL is offline!

nya binch: somehow

nya binch: i get the feeling that wasn't his doing

friend: you know Todoroki, a lot of your problems would be solved if you just let Midoriya read this

friend: kero

girl: you dictacting your messages again babe?? 

friend: yes

lezbiam has deleted [35] messages!

lezbiam: No one deserves to have their exposed in such a manner. If you screenshotted the deleted conversation, please don't share it.

fantastic: I won't

wake me up: the teacher's chat won't leak

peppermint boyo: I'm going to ignore you two, but thank you Momo

lezbiam: No problem!

vroom has added deku uwu to the chat!

deku uwu: guys why did i get removed?? what even happened?

20 users have gone offline!

wake me up: you poor dumbass

wake me up has gone offline! 

Chapter Text

PM between wake me up and screm dad

wake me up: Hizashi i'm fucking crying

wake me up: my class and our one and only son are trying to get Midoriya and Todoroki together but they're so fucking horrible at this??

wake me up: children that is Not how romance Works 

screm dad: what are they saying??

wake me up has sent a picture!

wake me up has sent a picture!

wake me up has sent a picture!

screm dad: o my god

wake me up: yea

screm dad: that is some Nemuri level bullshit right there

wake me up: Midoriya is going to end up hating poor Todoroki at this rate

screm dad: is that even possible??

wake me up: idk

wake me up: the kids are sure trying their best though

screm dad: lol

screm dad: you've got to appreciate the dedication they have

wake me up: if they had this much dedication to their schoolwork, some of them probably wouldn't be failing

screm dad: love the probably there

wake me up: Hizashi

wake me up: i walked downstairs today and saw Kaminari putting fucking bread crumbs into his drink instead of kool aid mix

wake me up: he didn't even notice

screm dad: good god

wake me up: Hizashi some of these kids are dumbasses and that's just a fact we all need to accept

---

wake me up: Hizashi

 screm dad: yes my love?

wake me up: ew

screm dad: ow

wake me up: the kids are back on their bullshit

wake me up: I'm honestly thinking someone should intervene

screm dad: it's that bad?? 

wake me up: it's like they don't know Midoriya at all

wake me up: it's chaos

screm dad: wait

screm dad: they made a separate chat for this??

wake me up: yea

wake me up: you want me to add you?

screm dad: please

---

 Operation Candy Cane Christmas Tree

wake me up has added screm dad to the chat!

 fantastic: I forgot we had Aizawa in here

jack off: hey mic-sensei

nya binch: dad, you here to help us?

peppermint boyo: wait

nya binch: don't even fucking look at me Todoroki

peppermint boyo: understandable

screm dad: Shouta sent me some of your ideas for how to ask out Midoriya

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: oui?

fantastic: did you like them??

screm dad: no, and quite frankly, I don't think Midoriya would either

screm dad: you want him to say yes right?

pika p1ka binch: oof

screm dad: but it's okay, I can help!!

screm dad: I mean, I'm married with two children, and we've been together for,,,

wake me up: it's been roughly 13 years now

fantastic: aww

girl: that's so sweet

alien queen: i can't believe Yuuei's cutest couple has been these two all along

wake me up: i am a grown man

wake me up: i am not cute or sweet

screm dad: sounds fake but okay

wake me up: Zashi

girl: @nya binch are they always like this??

nya binch: yea

friend: ocha thinks that's cute

maroon 5 wishes: Koda does too

Dwayne: not to be that person but like

Dwayne: relationship goals

Staples™: (Bakugou's red again)

pika p1ka binch: lmao i can hear the explosions from here

peppermint boyo: speaking of relationships

peppermint boyo: can we get back on topic?

screm dad: right, right

screm dad: when are you asking him?

peppermint boyo: Monday morning?

lezbiam: Lovely, we have some time to plan!

friend: are you going to get him a gift Todoroki?

peppermint boyo:

peppermint boyo: I'm sorry

peppermint boyo: what??

alien queen: omg

peppermint boyo: why would you add another layer of anxiety to this???

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: it doesn't have to be something big, monsieur

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: just pretty

maroon 5 wishes: or edible

girl: ^^

screm dad: you don't have to get him a present Todoroki, it's just a nice extra little thing to do

peppermint boyo: no, now that you've mentioned it, I have to get him something

lezbiam: Like you don't plan on spoiling him when you two make it official.

jack off: momo ily but you've got no room to talk

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: just get him a damn flower half and half and call it a day

Staples™: flowers are so cliche though

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: I DON'T SEE YOU COMING UP WITH ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS SOY SAUCE

screm dad: that's actually not a bad idea Bakugo

screm dad: it's cute, it's cheap, it's simple

#1 hot topic stan: and if this whole thing goes south, it can be thrown away dramatically without killing the environment

friend: Tokoyami, no

girl: don't say that, you'll jinx it!!

peppermint boyo: where the fuck am i going to get a flower? i don't have a pass for today

girl:

friend:

jack off:

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: 

nya binch:

vroom:

wake me up:

maroon 5 wishes:

pika p1ka binch: 

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL:

Staples™:

screm dad: hmmm

lezbiam: Ahem,

lezbiam: Kendo from Class 1-B was just telling me about Shiozaki Ibara, the girl with the vines for hair.

pika p1ka binch: yea

pika p1ka binch: i remember her

wake me up: we would hope so

pika p1ka binch: oof ow

lezbiam: Anyways, apparently Shiozaki grows roses in her spare time.

lezbiam: Kendo said she had an excess, and that she was looking for good homes for them to go to.

lezbiam: I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping you out Shouto, especially if you told her about why you need a rose on such short notice.

peppermint boyo has changed lezbiam's name to momo christ!

momo christ: Oh, stop it!

jack off: don't, she's cute when she blushes

momo christ: Kyouka!

pika p1ka binch: lol gay

jack off: and??

---

Mighty Fam

deku uwu: mom, all might, I have news!!!

DAD MIGHT: That is a lot of exclamation marks, this must be important, my boy.

midomommy: what is it Izuku? 

deku uwu: I'm gonna ask out Shouto on Monday!!

midomommy: that's wonderful!!

midomommy: he's such a lovely boy

DAD MIGHT: that's good news young Midoriya!

DAD MIGHT: I'm sure he'll say yes

midomommy: he'll be lucky to be with you Izuku

deku uwu: thanks mom, thanks dad, I've gotta go now

deku uwu: bye!!

midomommy: bye sweetheart!

deku uwu is now offline!

DAD MIGHT: do you think he meant to do that??

midomommy: what, call you his dad?

DAD MIGHT: Yes

midomommy: no, but he's seen you as a father figure basically forever

midomommy: and even before Hisashi left, you were the one he looked up to like that

midomommy: and besides, parenthood is a lot more than paying the court mandated payments Toshinori, and Hisashi never wanted that.

midomommy: you've been more of a father to Izuku in just one year than his bio father has been in sixteen

midomommy: it was going to slip eventually

midomommy: I'm just glad i was here to screenshot it! :D

DAD MIGHT: thank you Inko

DAD MIGHT: that

DAD MIGHT: that means a lot

midomommy: it's no problem Toshinori!

midomommy: :D

DAD MIGHT: :D

Chapter Text

Operation Candy Cane Christmas Tree

momo christ: Alright, Shouto

momo christ: Ready?

peppermint boyo: as many of you would say it

peppermint boyo: let’s get this bread

nya binch: i hope you know that Denki nearly cracked his skull, he was laughing so hard

nya binch: you could have killed him you rat bastard

Staples™: you’re laughing too, stop being so salty Shinsou

jack off: busted

peppermint boyo: @pika p1ka binch my bad

wake me up: Todoroki, do us all a favor and never say the bread thing again

Staples™: wait what why

wake me up: because the mere thought of him saying that with his usual Todoroki self nearly killed the entire staffroom

alien queen: @peppermint boyo i didn’t study for Ecto’s test, can you dab like real quick?

wake me up: I’m telling Ectoplasm

alien queen: !!!!

alien queen: that’s cold!!!

wake me up: welcome to the real world kid

alien queen: refund please???

screm dad: that machine’s broken

alien queen: damnit

girl: are we all ready for deku, cause like

girl: he’s REALLY determined to get to class

girl: like his normal self times like ten

friend: we’re not going to be able to stall him much longer, kero

friend: nevermind, forget that

vroom: Midoriya’s on his way!

girl: y’all better be ready!!!

peppermint boyo: I am

---

screm dad: alright the staffroom needs updates

screm dad: what’s going on

momo christ: We haven’t seen Midoriya yet.

jack off: Todoroki’s in position though

fantastic: he looks so lonely out in the hallway

Dwayne: the class b kids are giving him some Looks

alien queen: probs wondering who the rose is for

momo christ: No, they probably have a very good idea about who it’s for.

momo christ: Kendo and Shiozaki were very surprised to learn Shouto and Midoriya weren’t already dating.

Staples™: if Kazoo Kid interrupts this, I’m going to scream

Dwayne: Nah, Testu’s got it covered

wake me up: that sounds slightly ominous, is Monoma okay?

Dwayne: oh yea he is

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: like shitty hair would fucking hire a hitman

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: doesn’t have the fucking guts

Dwayne: thanks Bakubro

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: that wasn’t a compliment

Dwayne: like I care

pika p1ka binch: gaaaaaaaaaaaaay

jack off: who isn’t?

Staples™: true

---

pika p1ka binch: damn

Dwayne: that was gay

fantastic: I’m crying??? that was so adorable and sweet??

screm dad: what’s going on?? did it work?? did Midoriya say yes??

vroom: Well

vroom: We were all right to assume Midoriya returned Todoroki’s feelings.

friend: that sure is one way to put it Iida

screm dad: ???

wake me up: hang on, I caught it on tape

Staples™: heh tape

wake me up has shared a video!

---

Todoroki is in the middle of the hall, rose hidden. His back is straight, even if he isn’t. He’s tense, nerves are clearly starting to get to him. Classes A and B watch intently from their classrooms.

Shoes squeak suddenly, and Midoriya runs into frame. He runs up to Todoroki and grabs him in a tight hug. Todoroki is surprised™. Then Midoriya lets him go, and he speaks.

Mido, rushed and breathless: I’m sorry if you don’t return my feelings but I actually really, really like you!!! You don’t have to return my feelings, and I’m so sorry if this makes things awkward, or if you hate me now, or if I’ve made you uncomfortable. Please, just stay my friend, Shouto.

Todoroki is Shook. He’s blinking, mouth open, clearly trying to process this. (It’s taking a while.) The boi is frozen. (Not literally, ofc)

Mido, slower, kinda heartbroken: Right then. I’m sorry, uh, for bothering you right before class, and, um...sorry. Right. Um...we’re going to be late, we’d better get going.

He bows and backs away. His eyes are wet, head low. He looks sad.

Todoroki comes to his senses, perfect fucking timing. He lunges for Midoriya and grabs him by the wrist.

Todo: no, no, no... I’m just a little (coughs), surprised? ...how do I explain...

Mido, voice thick and definitely still crying: Shoucchan?

Todo: Um, this actually was for you. (brings out the rose)

Mido’s face shifts from sad to confused to shock. He and Todoroki lock eyes.

Todo: I was going to confess to you. I wasn’t expecting you to beat me to it.

Todoroki holds the rose out, offering it to Midoriya. Midoriya accepts it.

Mido: this is real?

Todo: I wouldn’t lie.

Mido sniffles as he shuffles forward, and he hugs Todoroki again. The video doesn’t pick up what is said next, but Todoroki has a dorky little smile as he buries his face into Midoriya’s hair.

A beat passes as the Total Dad filming gives them their moment.

.

.

.

Aizawa, from behind the camera: Alright you two, this is heartwarming and all, but you’re causing a distraction. Get to class.

Both boys jump. Todoroki nearly lights something on fire, and Midoriya greatly resembles a deer in headlights.

Mido: Aizawa-sensei! Is-is that a camera???

Aizawa: No. (you know, like a liar) Get to class.

Aizawa: Why are you two still out here? Get to class.

Mido: Right!

The new couple walks swiftly and quite awkwardly to their classroom. Aizawa waits until they’re both out of range.

Aizawa, sounding exactly like he looks like for once: We’re stuck in a fucking shoujo.

The video ends.

---

screm dad: omg

screm dad: you know who needs to see this??

wake me up: teachers chat?

screm dad: teachers chat.

screm dad: gimme one sec

---

*todoroki voice* let’s get this bread – PL

screm dad has shared a video!

go the fuck to sleep: HAH

go the fuck to sleep: so many of you bitches owe me money now

reverse vore man: damnit I was hoping you’d forgotten

cowboy babey: ^^

Gucci Wishes: Oh, congratulations to the two of them.

Our Lord and Savior: ^

marshy mellow: ^

KFC: while this warms my gay little heart

KFC: two high schoolers have more game than I do

KFC: and that saddens me

wheelie sonic: same

wheelie sonic: all I want is a pretty guy

wheelie sonic: and like, maybe a few dogs

marshy mellow: what kind of dogs?

wheelie sonic: idk, maybe some golden retrievers

wheelie sonic: and one little pomeranian for laughs

go the fuck to sleep: we can give you Bakugou, it’s basically the same thing

not a furry fuk u: ewfdgjfklmwae

wheelie sonic: i’m okay

marshy mellow: lol

Tea: Kayama, please don’t give away the students.

Tea: That’s just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

marshy mellow: efjsl.ghnmjhFEGzrcmg

screm dad: oMG NEDZU

cowboy babey: yikes

I AM MACHINE: jinkies

Alchemist: get out of here with your scooby doo bullshit

KFC: excuse???

KFC: scooby doo is fucking iconic, you bastard

wheelie sonic: scooby doo is eternal

Chapter Text

deku uwu: this weekend we need to watch as many Ghibli films as possible

girl: next weekend we’re binging Disney

Staples™: i have no objections to this but why?

deku uwu: Shouto hasn’t seen any of them!!!

Staples™:

jack off:

#1 hot topic stan:

maroon 5 wishes:

pika p1ka binch:

alien queen:

fantastic:

Spiderman but it’s just Tail:

Dwayne:

not your hentai:

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: excusez-moi bitch??

nya binch: okay life pre-dad-and-pops was shit but even then, I’d still seen one or two of Ghibli’s before I went to them

nya binch: how the fuck have you not even seen one in fifteen years of life

peppermint boyo: I probably saw a few when I was really small and just don’t remember, but we haven’t really watched movies in that house since mom was put in the hospital

peppermint boyo: my father doesn’t like us watching a lot of tv

peppermint boyo: if we have time to sit around and look at a screen, we have time to do something productive

peppermint boyo: we probably only have a tv in the house because of the news

vroom: That really does not sound like a good mindset to have.

Dwayne: yea dude, that really can’t be healthy

peppermint boyo: yeah i know, but try telling him that

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL:  all i’m hearing is that we have yet another reason to endeavor in the face

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL used naughty language! Grr!!

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL:

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL has edited [1] message!

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: all i’m hearing is that we have yet another reason to punch the flaming trashrag bag of dicks in the face

vroom: Why is your first reaction always violence Bakugo?!

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: OH LIKE YOU DON’T WANNA PUNCH THAT PHONY #1 IN HIS STUPID FLAME BEARD FOUR EYES

wake me up: Bakugo i hope you know that all of this is getting shared with the teacher’s chat

wake me up: they aren’t saying anything negative

wake me up: in fact, they’re cheering you on

Dwayne: Katsuki’s really red

nya binch: lol

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: SHUT UP

alien queen: yea stop exposing bakubro

Spiderman but it’s just Tail: I’m hearing explosions??

jack off: @alien queen you just live to spread chaos, don’t you?

alien queen: it’s what i was born to do

---

end the vore hate club – Ecto

wake me up: all 19 of my homeroom kids would jump at the chance to punch enji in the face and i think that’s great

go the fuck to sleep: the real reason Shouta hasn’t expelled any kids yet

Asss: that IS great, what are you talking about old man

Alchemist: good for them, seeing the truth

I AM MACHINE: you think you’re so clever with your references, don’t you?

Alchemist: a little, yes

cowboy babey: hey Powerloader, always great to see you aren’t dead

I AM MACHINE: hi snipe

go the fuck to sleep: how’s Hatsume?

I AM MACHINE: right as you said that, i heard a bunch of loud crashing from her workstation

I AM MACHINE: i hope you know you’re dead to me, Kayama

go the fuck to sleep: lol, I’m always dead to someone

go the fuck to sleep: those words hold nothing over me anymore

KFC: wait

KFC: @wake me up you just said you had nineteen in your homeroom class, did something happen to one of them??

wake me up: bold of you to assume the Grape Fucker isn’t dead to me

screm dad: if he isn’t in the class chat, is he really a part of the class?

go the fuck to sleep: going by that logic, wouldn’t Hito be a class a kid

wheelie sonic: it’s what he deserves

not a furry fuk u: when eraser and mic’s kid moves up to the hero course, he’s going straight into class a

not a furry fuk u: I’ve heard of his little adventures and i do not need the paperwork that comes along with that

Asss: lol no one even questions that this rat kid’s getting expelled eventually

go the fuck to sleep: that’s because he’s nasty, Karen

Asss: I’m well-fucking-aware of that Sharon, considering he was my fucking intern for a whole week

Asss: worst week of my fucking life

Asss: it was like having one of those creepy internet perv trolls stalking me all week

go the fuck to sleep: be thankful you don’t have to deal with his shit every single goddamn day

Alchemist: If I have to hear one more comment about Kayama’s breasts, I’m going to scream

screm dad: i should probably be offended that you’re stealing my thing, but honestly same

reverse vore man: “how big do you think aizawa’s rack would be??” – the sentence that had me regretting so many decisions

DAD MIGHT: Well, a part of me just died inside.

wake me up: @Tea can we just say fuck it and expel him without the board???

cowboy babey: honestly that just reads as transphobic to me

marshy mellow: ^^

Tea: I wish we could.

Gucci Wishes: Can’t you all report this to the board? Surely with all of this, they would have to take action then?

Tea: We’ve been doing that Jeanist, and we bring it to the board every time we have to add another entry to the list. It’s like pulling teeth with them. Except without the blood.

wheelie sonic: Nedzu, all due respect sir, never become a dentist

marshy mellow: ^ you’ll scare the children sir

Tea: Oh dear, we can’t have that.

Alchemist: did anyone else read that as sarcasm?

marshy mellow: oh thank god I’m not alone

Tea: :D

Chapter Text

deku uwu: hey guys, I’ve been noticing my binders going missing, is anyone else missing anything or is it just me??

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: Oui, some of my clothing disappears when I wash it, or otherwise just vanishes from my closet

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: I know @momo christ has been having similar problems, since she’s borrowed clothing from moi before, but it isn’t like her to take without asking.

momo christ: Yes, I have noticed several of my things seemingly vanish into thin air, but I always ask Aoyama before I borrow something, and I certainly don’t take what I need from Aoyama's laundry. I don’t keep anything either.

vroom: A part of me is relieved I’m not the only one, but I’m more concerned that this is a common occurrence.

nya binch: @wake me up

wake me up: alright @everyone, if you’re missing some of your clothes, email me what you’re missing so we can make a list. if anyone needs something urgently, we’ll take care of that immediately. if it can be borrowed from somebody else or isn’t absolutely necessary, we can set aside passes this weekend for you to go out and get it.

momo christ: I understand that money might be an issue here. I’d be happy to make what I can, and to pay for whatever we have to buy when we go out!

deku uwu: thank you so much Yaoyorozu

girl: ^^^

girl: you’re a lifesaver Yaomomo!!!

alien queen: a saint

vroom: Try to be as accurate as you can with your lists everyone! We must be efficient, and we shouldn’t waste Mr. Aizawa’s time!

wake me up: yeah what he said

---

Yuuei Staff Machine Broke – RG

not a furry fuk u: I checked with my kids and a few of our girls are missing some items and TTTT’s missing a sports bra

not a furry fuk u: it’s nothing on the scale of Eraser’s class though

go the fuck to sleep: that’s probably because this whole thing was probably a certain class A nasty

screm dad: o yea definitely

marshy mellow: I’d be surprised if it wasn’t

DAD MIGHT: Everyone, please forgive me.

screm dad: what for?

go the fuck to sleep: that’s awfully cryptic Yagi

wake me up: ???

not a furry fuk u: america explain??

wheelie sonic: that meme’s dead blood king

DAD MIGHT added midomommy to the chat!  

Six users are now offline!

go the fuck to sleep: cowards

not a furry fuk u: you know that cryptic shit from earlier makes a lot more sense now

screm dad: hush both of you

go the fuck to sleep: Hizashi

screm dad: shh

go the fuck to sleep: HIZASHI

screm dad: SHHH

wake me up: @midomommy I take it you’re Midoriya Izuku’s mother?

midomommy: Yes.

Tea: Hello, Mrs. Midoriya. This is Principal Nedzu. What brings you to our group chat?

midomommy: I was going to demand to know why the Mineta boy hadn’t been expelled already, but scrolling through the chat and reading everything you’ve all had to say about him makes me think that I’d much rather speak directly to the board about this.

midomommy: and it’s Ms. Midoriya, not Mrs.

Tea: I would be more than happy to arrange that meeting Ms. Midoriya

go the fuck to sleep: i would be more than happy to sit in on that meeting

cowboy babey: wouldn’t we all?

wheelie sonic: as someone whose little brother has potentially been hurt by this kid, i REALLY want to sit in on this meeting

wheelie sonic: @Tea can i do that? cause I’m doing it

Tea: I see no reason you couldn’t.

Tea: In fact, let’s invite the families of all of our hero course students.

Tea: Most of the trouble has been contained in those classes, I believe.

midomommy: I’m fine with that.

midomommy: we all deserve answers as to why a child like this Mineta boy stayed in the hero course with behavior like his

midomommy: oh, and I have to get going, my break is nearly over

midomommy: thank you for talking with me and for agreeing to set up a meeting

Tea: It is absolutely no trouble at all Ms. Midoriya.

midomommy: well I’m still grateful regardless

midomommy: have a nice night everyone!

midomommy is now offline!

go the fuck to sleep: hey Yagi, when are you going to make her a Mrs.?

DAD MIGHT: qefwagrshtdyjfukgilkjtdyrhstegafweq

wheelie sonic: great, look at what you’ve done Nem

wheelie sonic: you fucking killed poor All Might

screm dad: All Might found dead in Miami

not a furry fuk u: press f

marshy mellow: f

wake me up:

wake me up: f

cowboy babey: okay but we’re keeping her in the chat, right?

screm dad: absolutely

screm dad: she’s the most wholesome thing here

marshy mellow: excuse??

Alchemist: You are not wholesome, do not even pretend

marshy mellow: rude

Chapter Text

deku uwu: thank you so much Yaoyorozu for doing this!

girl: ^^

girl: thank you, thank you, thank you

girl: bras are expensive and i only had one left

alien queen: i honestly thought my parents were going to kill me when i told them about my stuff going missing. thanks for saving my life Yaomomo!!!!

momo christ: It’s no problem, really! My parents and I completely understand! Besides if I have the money to help out where I can, why shouldn’t I?

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: You truly are a blessing, mon cherie. Merci!

jack off: lol, laying it on a bit thick there, huh Aoyama?

Staples™: yoU KNOW WHAT’S THICC

Staples™: MIDODSFJDXNKGM.EJNMhufejnkmd,

Staples™: MIDORIYA

Staples™: DAMN TODOROKI REALLY GOT LUCKY

jack off: what the fuck

deku uwu: is this a prank??

deku uwu: this isn’t funny Sero, you’re making me really uncomfortable

peppermint boyo: prepare for sports festival 2.0, bitch

vroom: Sero, I have no idea where this behavior is coming from, but please stop this!

Staples™: YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Staples™: fucking ******

Staples™ used naughty language! Grr!!

alien queen: OK BITCH

alien queen: IDK WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE

alien queen: BUT YOU SURE AS FUCK AREN’T SERO

not your hentai: this isn’t Sero!

not your hentai: The Grape took his phone while it was charging

not your hentai: we’ve been looking for it all morning

maroon 5 wishes: i can vouch for that!

vroom: You don’t have to Sato, that makes much more sense!

lezbiam kicked Staples™ from the chat!

Staples™ has been banned!

lezbiam: I’ll add Sero back once the situation is resolved. For now, please keep your phones away from the Grape.

pika p1ka binch: Sero says he’s sorry about this, guys

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: he’d fucking better be

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: how’d Soy Sauce’s phone get taken anyways???

maroon 5 wishes: he was charging it downstairs and left to go to the bathroom. I was down there too, but I left to get something from my room. When I came back down, it was gone

peppermint boyo: has someone gotten Aizawa yet?

maroon 5 wishes:

not your hentai:

pika p1ka binch:

nya binch:

not your hentai: why didn’t we think of that sooner??

nya binch: @wake me up

nya binch: go to the class A dorms, it’s the Grape

wake me up: omw, leave the situation to me

friend: @deku uwu @vroom are the two of you okay?

vroom: I’ll admit

vroom: I was upset at what was said, but knowing now that it wasn’t Sero, I feel a bit better.

vroom: I think.

girl: brb, gonna give Iida a hug

vroom: I’d actually really like that, Uraraka.

friend: @deku uwu are you okay?

friend: you haven’t answered my question, Midoriya. it’s worrying me.

deku uwu: I’m fine

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: It’s rude to lie to people who care about you, Midoriya.

deku uwu: okay, maybe I’m not really fine but like

deku uwu: I’ve got Shoucchan talking to me in DMs and it wasn’t even really Sero saying it?? It was the Grape, and like, everyone knew he was horrible already?? It shouldn’t even be a big shock??

Dwayne: dude, all of that’s true, but it still hurts to hear that kind of shit

Dwayne: it’s okay to be affected by it

Dwayne: doesn’t make you any less manly, bro

girl: rt

friend: rt

momo christ: rt

nya binch: rt

pika p1ka binch: rt

pika p1ka binch: (Sero says rt)

alien queen: rt

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: rt

✿ snow white ❀: rt

not your hentai: rt

#1 hot topic stan: rt

fantastic: rt

Spiderman but it’s just tail: rt

peppermint boyo: rt

Dwayne: he’s crying in the middle of the sports bras, what do I do???

jack off: at least something’s back to normal

nya binch: ^

peppermint boyo: just give him a hug Kirishima

peppermint boyo: he likes head pats

girl: can confirm

friend: it’s true, kero

nya binch: give him a pat for me, will you

Dwayne: will do

vroom: I know your previous words weren’t meant for me, Kirishima, but they still helped me regardless. Thank you for that.

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: ^^

Dwayne: damnit y’all, now I’m crying in the middle of the sports bras

Dwayne: lmao, Tetsutetsu just walked into the sports bra aisle, nodded, and then joined our hug without hesitation

nya binch: lol, gotta love class b Kirishima

pika p1ka binch: does that make Kiri class a Tetsutetsu

nya binch: yes

Dwayne: Blood King saw the three of us and just backed out slowly

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: coward

nya binch: dare you to say that to his face when they all get back

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: YOU’RE ON

---

“responsible adults” my ass - BK

not a furry fuk u: hey Eraser why the fuck did Bakugou walk up to me and call me a coward???

go the fuck to sleep: fdgfaefsgdf n i c e

wake me up: bold of you to assume I have any idea why Bakugou does anything 

Chapter Text

pika p1ka binch: right, so now that that's over

pika p1ka binch: @momo christ I wanna see my little boy

alien queen:i wanna see my little boi

jack off: here he comes

momo christ has added Staples™ to the chat!

alien queen: the boi is here!!

pika p1ka binch: yee!!!

Staples™: It is me

Staples™: I am the boi

Dwayne: SERO!!

Dwayne: MY BRO

Dwayne: MY SE-BRO IF YOU WILL

Staples™: ersgjlkh SE-BRO

alien queen: THIS IS WhY WE LOVE YOU KIRI

pika p1ka binch: ^^^

girl: look at that

girl: the Bakusquad, being wholesome for once

pika p1ka binch: hit or miss

Staples™: i guess they never miss

pika p1ka binch: huh

alien queen: you got a boyfriend

alien queen: bet he doesn’t kiss ya

pika p1ka binch: *mwah*

Staples™: he gon find another girl

pika p1ka binch: and then he won’t miss ya!!

jack off: back on the bullshit already guys?

girl: i seem to have misspelled “totally fucking cursed yet again” in my previous message, sorry for the miscommunication everyone

nya binch: i see why pops just totally lost it

pika p1ka binch: you’re joking???

nya binch: nope

nya binch: he’s lying on the floor

nya binch: Eri’s sitting on top of him

girl: awww

nya binch: she’s trying to braid his hair

girl: awwwww!!!!

nya binch: she’s not very good at it yet

momo christ: At least she’s trying!

jack off: send us pics of post hit or miss Aizawa, you bastard

nya binch has shared a picture!

nya binch has shared a picture!

alien queen: ewfhdnkj Eri is so freaking cute

fantastic: gasp

fantastic: I have an idea!! since the Grape’s gone now, we should have a party to celebrate!!!!

fantastic: (also @nya binchyour little sister is SO cute!!!)

momo christ: We probably shouldn’t have a party, as tonight’s a school night...

alien queen: o shit, Yaomomo you’re right

vroom: Yaoyorozu is right, a party like the one I’m sure you have in mind Hagakure isn’t the best idea, especially for such a demanding course like Heroics.

nya binch:

momo christ: And Shinsou needs rest for his classes as well. All Yuuei courses are challenging and require max effort!

nya binch: uh huh

deku uwu: maybe we should have a movie marathon instead. we were planning one anyways, before the whole Grape thing happened. and besides, this’ll be our first chance to really spend time together as a whole class without the Grape making us all uncomfortable. it’d be a welcome break from training anyways, and it’s not too demanding but will still tire us out so we’ll get some sleep.

nya binch: goddamnit, he did it again

girl: @peppermint boyo come and collect your boy!!!

Spiderman but it’s just Tail: wait did he just do his mumbling thing over text??

vroom: Yes, it happens every now and again.

friend: don’t worry about it Ojiro

Spiderman but it’s just Tail: K then

vroom: @everyone

vroom: Since the Grape is gone, does anybody care to celebrate with a movie marathon tonight?

girl: yea!!!

friend: ^^

peppermint boyo: Izuku says he’ll come, so I guess we’ll both be there

Staples™: I’m down

Dwayne: wait what movies are we gonna be watching??

vroom: Probably Ghibli, as that was what we were originally planning.

Dwayne: YEA

Dwayne: I’m in and I’ll bring Bakubro!!

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: excuse me

peppermint boyo: you’re excused

jack off: I’m hearing explosions??

Spiderman but it’s just tail: Damn, none of you miss an opportunity, do you?

alien queen: no

nya binch: he makes it so easy

---

vroom: @everyone

momo christ: We’re starting! If you aren’t down here yet, you’re welcome to come and join us anytime! Just please be quiet and courteous about it!

nya binch: hey guys my little sister’s joining us so maybe don’t

nya binch: like

nya binch: kill her innocence rn, you know???

pika p1ka binch: !!

pika p1ka binch: you’re joining us babe!!

nya binch: yea

vroom: We can wait for the two of you, if you’d like us to.

nya binch: yea, I’m gonna need someone to let us in

deku uwu: which one should we start with??

fantastic: Ponyo!!

pika p1ka binch: ^^^^

friend: I will fight anyone who doesn’t want to watch Ponyo

girl: oh but what about spirited away???

deku uwu: oh that’s a good one!!

momo christ: How about we watch Ponyo and then Spirited Away?

Staples™: that works

momo christ: Alright, so Ponyo, Spirited Away...

vroom: We should probably only watch three. That’s a lot of movie to watch and we don’t want to be tired in class.

nya binch: yea Aizawa will kick your asses

nya binch: also we’re outside

pika p1ka binch: I’ll let you inside babe

nya binch: thanks sunshine

alien queen: gay

nya binch: that’s the point

maroon 5 wishes: Hey why don’t we let Shinsou’s little sister decide the third movie we watch?

friend: oh good idea Sato

friend: thanks for all the snacks btw

deku uwu: ^^

alien queen: ^

#1 hot topic stan: ^^

fantastic: ^^

Dwayne: ^^

maroon 5 wishes: it’s nothing!!

momo christ: Regardless, thank you for the snacks Sato!

nya binch: Eri’s probably going to pick Kiki’s Delivery

nya binch: She loves the cat

girl: saaaaaaaaame

jack off: Momo ily, but like

jack off: the artist girl from Kiki’s Delivery could step on me

momo christ: Honestly?

momo christ: Same

vroom: So we’re watching Ponyo, then Spirited Away, and then ending with Kiki’s Delivery Service?

---

peppermint boyo:

peppermint boyo: shit

jack off: lol

deku uwu: you enjoying them??

peppermint boyo: yes

pika p1ka binch: lmao, he and Eri both look exactly the same

nya binch: they really do

alien queen: cuties

fantastic: (I’ve got pictures)

Dwayne: gasp

alien queen: share them bitch!!!

fantastic has shared a picture!

fantastic has shared a picture!

fantastic has shared a picture!

vroom: Alright, Spirited Away is in, please put your clothes back on Hagakure. And put your phones away, you heathens, and watch the movie.

fantastic: yea ok dad

nya binch: if you say so Dad

---

Staples™: hey does anyone know why teachers are crowding around the Grape’s room??

momo christ: Aizawa said that they were going to go through the Grape’s room, try and clear it out for the next student.

girl: hang on, so we already have our replacement???

momo christ: I have no idea.

momo christ: If Aizawa knows, he hasn’t told me.

vroom: He hasn’t told me either.

vroom: Now put down your phones and watch the movie already!

girl: alright, alright!!!

---

the evil has been deYEETed – sonic

wake me up: @Tea we found the Grape’s stash

wake me up: and with it most of the things reported missing

go the fuck to sleep: oh gross

marshy mellow: f

wake me up: I’m going to need so much bleach after this

Spiderman but lame: what’s going to happen to all of the shit he stole?

KFC: yea, I doubt anyone’s gonna want that back

Asss: tbh i wouldn’t want it either

wake me up: i actually have no idea

Tea: We’ll return everything we can to the rightful owners, but what they do with it is up to them.

not a furry fuk u: there’s so much of it, jesus christ

screm dad: IM BACK BITCHES

screm dad: AND DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR GOD HAVE I MADE MISTAKESSSSSSSSSSSSS

reverse vore man: not this shit again

Tea: Oh dear.

wheelie sonic: pour one out for 1-A

not a furry fuk u: i know y’all know where my stash is

cowboy babey: pouring one out as we speak

wake me up: Zashi we’ve talked about this

wake me up: why the fuck are you dictating again

screm dad: BECAUSE I HAVE MADE A GRAVE MISTAKE

wake me up: what mistake???

screm dad: I TOUCHED SOMETHING IN GRAPE’S ROOM THAT I REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE WITH MY BARE HAND

screm dad: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

wake me up: you’re going to scare the children Zashi

go the fuck to sleep: why the fuck were you not wearing gloves, you dumbass

screm dad: @Our Lord and Savior CAN YOU JUST

screm dad: IDK CUT OFF MY HAND

Our Lord and Savior: No

screm dad: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

marshy mellow: I’d say f

marshy mellow: but you did this to yourself

screm dad: BRB GONNA DRINK MY SORROWS AWAY

not a furry fuk u: that’s a bathroom??

screm dad: DRINKING MY SORROWS KAN

not a furry fuk u: ???

Our Lord and Savior: Please, dear god, don’t drink the toilet water again

KFC: again

screm dad: I WAS GONNA DRINK FROM THE SINK BUT GO OFF I GUESS

Tea: @wake me up I have an update on the Grape situation!

Tea: As of Wednesday, the Grape will not be a Yuuei student anymore.

screm dad: HELL YEAAAAAAAAA

marshy mellow: that’s a mood

go the fuck to sleep: fuck yea

not a furry fuk u: And the transfer??

Tea: Shinsou Hitoshi, he joins the class Friday.

wake me up: when can we tell him?

Tea: As soon as you’d like.

not a furry fuk u: lol he’s gone

cowboy babey: off to be a Dramatic Bitch I see

wake me up: hey

wake me up: It’s Dramatic Bitch™

Alchemist: @screm dad If you’re done drinking toilet water again, please collect your husband

KFC: again???

screm dad: I’m back and hearing screaming that isn’t me

wheelie sonic: (this time)

not a furry fuk u: jesus christ mic, that’s a lot of gloves

screm dad: i’m not taking any chances Kan

not a furry fuk u: that’s fair

go the fuck to sleep: screaming???

wake me up: that was Class 1-A

go the fuck to sleep: good screaming??

wake me up: they’re excited about Hito

go the fuck to sleep: aww

marshy mellow: that’s sweet

screm dad: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAdsfghhjkerdfhtfsgd

screm dad: njlkefrgtyfdbgf

screm dad: DSLKADFokfbdkado

not a furry fuk u: oh hey Eraser's back

go the fuck to sleep: lmao

Chapter Text

vroom: @nya binch Do you need any help moving in?

nya binch: nah i’m fine

nya binch: don’t have much stuff to bring anyways

pika p1ka binch: yea your room’s SUPER bare babe

nya binch: holdover from foster care

Dwayne: wait you were in the system??

nya binch: yea, what about it?

Dwayne: !!!

Dwayne: me too!!

pika p1ka binch: wait what

Staples™: you were???

Dwayne: Yea!!

Dwayne: why is this such a surprise, both of you have met my moms

Dwayne: they had to get me from somewhere

alien queen: i been knew

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: it’s fucking obvious you dumbasses

nya binch: oh you’ve got gay parents too

Dwayne: yea

Dwayne: basically grew up in an endless cycle of “ask your mom”

fantastic: f

Dwayne: thank you

nya binch: people always expect double the amount of dad jokes I get, but honestly dad tells enough dad jokes for him and pops

jack off: the very image of Aizawa telling dad jokes just fucking killed me and my crops

jack off: so

jack off: thanks

nya binch: wefghv dsfnb

pika p1ka binch: don’t!!!

pika p1ka binch: kill!!!

pika p1ka binch: my boyfriend!!!

jack off: it wasn’t a murder, it was at best manslaughter

vroom:

vroom: I left the chat for five seconds

fantastic: sorry dad

vroom: Okay why?

vroom: Do you all randomly call me dad?

✦~ shiny boi ~✦: maybe it’s because you dress like a suburban 40 year old father of three, monsieur (-、-) ✦

Dwayne: holy shit

fantastic: OMG AOYAMA

alien queen: DAMN

alien queen: AOYAMA DIDN’T FUCKING HOLD BACK

friend: he was NOT prepared for that, kero

girl shared a picture!

Staples™: that is the face of a broken man

wake me up: can confirm, that is a carbon copy of Tensei’s drinking face

deku uwu: are you meaning to tell me that Ingenium is a sad drunk??

wake me up has deleted [1] message!

wake me up: I’ve said too much.

---

stop stealing my pretzels damnit – 13

wake me up: @wheelie sonic you’ve been exposed

wheelie sonic: ??

wake me up: the class a kids now know you get angsty when you drink

go the fuck to sleep: lmao

DAD MIGHT: How did that come up in conversation??

screm dad: he’s on his allergy meds rn

Alchemist: It’s that time of year again, isn’t it?

screm dad: hell yea

Alchemist: Lovely

DAD MIGHT: I’m missing something here.

go the fuck to sleep: lol Yagi, Shouta’s fine, he’s just really sensitive to most medicines

cowboy babey: it’s hilarious

wheelie sonic: he goes from “the only thing you need to know about me is my name” to “vaguely bitchy oversharing shitpost” in the drop of a hat

marshy mellow: he once said the batman lines for us without protesting

Alchemist: We got that one on camera

DAD MIGHT: ah

DAD MIGHT: well thank god classes are over, right?

wake me up: FUCK

wake me up: TODOROKI

not a furry fuk u: we know Todoroki’s a little shit but that’s pretty harsh Eraser

wake me up: what the fuck, no

wake me up: i told him to meet me after classes to talk about some of the shit he’s said

wake me up: i forgot about it

go the fuck to sleep: o that’s why he’s hanging around the staffroom

cowboy babey: so are you rescheduling with him then??

wake me up: omw

cowboy babey: apparently not

KFC: oh jeez

KFC: this meeting’s going to be a dumpster fire, isn’t it?

screm dad: honestly

screm dad: probably

---

wake me up: brb

wake me up: dragging Enji’s ass straight to hell

wake me up has gone offline!

---

PM between peppermint boyo and deku uwu

peppermint boyo: so I just had a breakdown in front of our one and only homeroom teacher

peppermint boyo: he asked about home and uh

deku uwu: did you overshare??

peppermint boyo: oh yea definitely

deku uwu: are you coming back to the dorms??

peppermint boyo: yea

deku uwu: your room or mine?

deku uwu: i can totally carry you up the stairs if that’s an issue

peppermint boyo: I think I’m going to have to take you up on that offer Izuku

peppermint boyo: nothing against you or All Might, but

peppermint boyo: I don’t think I can handle your room rn

peppermint boyo: I’m sorry

deku uwu: it’s okay!!

deku uwu: your room it is!!! :D

---

PM between momo christ and peppermint boyo

peppermint boyo: momo

momo christ: I saw you come through the door

momo christ: You looked like terrible.

momo christ: Do you need anything??

peppermint boyo: Izuku offered to carry me up five flights of stairs momo

peppermint boyo: and then he DID it.

momo christ: Oh, that’s gay.

peppermint boyo: momo

peppermint boyo: i think we’re well past that

peppermint boyo: but I’m feeling kinda drained actually

momo christ: Oh?

peppermint boyo: i did the oversharing again

momo christ: Not a huge surprise, go on.

peppermint boyo: right in front of Aizawa

momo christ: Oh.

peppermint boyo: so now he knows

momo christ: And?

peppermint boyo: i had a breakdown, cause like

peppermint boyo: he Knows now

peppermint boyo: and there’s no way in hell Aizawa’s just going to sit back and do nothing

peppermint boyo: and i,,

peppermint boyo: I don’t know how to feel

momo christ: Explain for me, please?

momo christ: Assuming you're comfortable with that, of course!

peppermint boyo: well 

peppermint boyo: no one’s ever helped with him momo, not for me or mom or Natsuo and Fuyumi

peppermint boyo: nobody helped Touya

peppermint boyo: I want out of his house and away from him, but it just

peppermint boyo: it feels like I’m getting an easy out when Natsuo and Fuyumi had to work for it

peppermint boyo: It feels like I’m being weak

momo christ: Shouto, as healthy as it is for you to vent, I’m going to stop you there.

momo christ: An offer to help is absolutely not “an easy way out”.

momo christ: You’re still going to have to work to heal.

momo christ: But you don’t have to do all that work alone anymore. You have a support network now Shouto. Please, use it.

peppermint boyo: Momo, I don’t think I’ve ever told you

peppermint boyo: but you’re a good friend

momo christ: Don’t mention it.

momo christ: Now, go and focus on cuddling your boyfriend, you dummy.

peppermint boyo: yes ma’am

momo christ: Shut

peppermint boyo is offline!

momo christ: Wise decision Shouto.

Chapter Text

deku uwu has shared a video!

deku uwu: our'ye onang avhe adb imet*

nya binch: oD ti, owcdar

deku uwu: kwae

nya binch: icthb

#1 hot topic stan: Dark Shadow is insisting that this is a bop.

nya binch: lowkey agree

pika p1ka binch: he (they?) isn't wrong

#1 hot topic stan: (they)

pika p1ka binch: (oh good for them)

wake me up:

nya binch: sht

deku uwu: oh hey wrong chat

deku uwu: my bad

wake me up: 

pika p1ka binch: I can feel the disappointed dad stare through the screen

nya binch: hey pops

wake me up:

nya binch: pops

wake me up: 

deku uwu: i haven't had a dad in years and even i can feel the Dad Energy™

wake me up:

pika p1ka binch: it'd probably be a good idea to go to sleep rn, wouldn't it??

#1 hot topic stan: probably

pika p1ka binch: so none of us are going to sleep, are we?? 

#1 hot topic stan: probably

pika p1ka binch: mmm

wake me up: I'm standing right in front of the dorms. you have five minutes to either get offline, turn your device off, and stare at your ceiling until you fall the fuck asleep.

deku uwu: or???

wake me up: or you get a five minute head start.

deku uwu: BET

wake me up: starting now.

#1 hot topic stan: Midoriya

 nya binch: shit he's gonna die

deku uwu: I'm prepared for death

deku uwu: just tell Shoucchan and Mom that I love both of them

nya binch: so fucking dramatic, smh

#1 hot topic stan: I'll be sure to deliver your message Midoriya

deku uwu: thank you Tokoyami

deku uwu: at least you aren't a snake

nya binch: hisssssssss

pika p1ka binch: scalie

nya binch: edsfdghg babe

pika p1ka binch: <3

pika p1ka binch: night

nya binch: night you beautiful coward <3

pika p1ka binch is offline!

#1 hot topic stan: No one else is going to log off??

nya binch: nope

deku uwu: absolutely not

wake me up: your loss.

wake me up: three minutes.

deku uwu: just fight me rn

deku uwu: Mr. Aizawa sir

nya binch: lol

#1 hot topic stan: Where is this confidence during the daytime?

nya binch: he's too tired for anxiety and higher thought, apparently

#1 hot topic stan: I wanna say mood, I really wanna say mood

nya binch: mood

wake me up: fight you?

wake me up: I'm not going to fight anyone.

nya binch: top 10 anime plot twists

wake me up has added DAD MIGHT to the chat!

#1 hot topic stan: oh shit...

nya binch: TOP 10 ANIME PLOT TWISTS

 wake me up: All Might, you deal with them.

wake me up is offline!

#1 hot topic stan: what a mad banquet of darkness.

DAD MIGHT:

DAD MIGHT: Aizawa

DAD MIGHT: Aizawa!

nya binch: lol

DAD MIGHT: I can't tell if that is you young Shinsou or if that's Aizawa, and it scares me

nya binch: hah

deku uwu: they got gina

nya: :)

#1 hot topic stan: All Might, we're still awake

DAD MIGHT: right...

DAD MIGHT: Go to sleep

#1 hot topic stan: 

deku uwu: 

nya binch: that's your best??

DAD MIGHT: Please?

DAD MIGHT: Why are the three of you still up anyways??

deku uwu: o h b o i

#1 hot topic stan: All Might

#1 hot topic stan: do you really want to open that particular can of worms???

nya binch: lol worms

nya binch: it's funny

nya binch: cause you're a bird

#1 hot topic stan: yea i got that

DAD MIGHT: humor me

DAD MIGHT: why are you still awake??

nya binch: insomnia

deku uwu: existential dread

#1 hot topic stan: it's a bit of aesthetic and a bit of trauma

nya binch: god that's a mood

DAD MIGHT: by trauma, you mean everything that's happened this year, young Tokoyami?

#1 hot topic stan: yes, although it's mainly the training that keeps me awake

#1 hot topic stan: I just

#1 hot topic stan: that's probably the only time I've ever lost control of Dark Shadow in that kind of situation

#1 hot topic stan: I could've really harmed Mezo and Midoriya

#1 hot topic stan: if it wasn't for sheer luck and their quick thinking, would they even still be here?

#1 hot topic stan: it's a question that haunts me

#1 hot topic stan: I was able to cope with the USJ by sleeping with a weighted blanket, but since the training camp, it hasn't worked

#1 hot topic stan: brings back too many memories

DAD MIGHT: well

DAD MIGHT: I truly see what you meant by can of worms

nya binch: lol

nya binch: so I guess if we're all talking about Shit now

nya binch: i can go next??

DAD MIGHT: I won't stop you

nya binch: you can't

DAD MIGHT: terrifying, proceed

nya binch: anyways, I guess I've always struggled a lil bit with sleep??

nya binch: but like

nya binch: shit, how do I explain???

nya binch: okay so it's like my room and how it's so bare

nya binch: it's basically another holdover from the system

nya binch: I was in a few bad homes and shit that I'd rather not talk about went down

nya binch: it just,,,wasn't good, like at all

nya binch: I just?? never felt safe sleeping?? especially in a new place, with so many new people I've never lived with before??

nya binch: I'll get used to it

nya binch: I got used to Dad and Pops

nya binch: but like

nya binch: I still don't get very much sleep??

nya binch: idk

nya binch: and I've been on medication before, in a few of the okay homes and when I first came to Dad and Pops

nya binch: but the downsides are way too, you know, bad to really justify meds and I honestly don't like the whole deal

nya binch: just makes me feel even more like a burdento be dropped when the novelty of it all ends

#1 hot topic stan: that was a poetic way to put it

nya binch: thanks

#1 hot topic stan: I can't really can't take most medications either, what with Dark Shadow.

deku uwu: really?

#1 hot topic stan: yes

#1 hot topic stan: most doctors are hesitant to prescribe things to me because of them. it's risky, but I can take some. It's hit or miss.

deku uwu: that's fascinating

#1 hot topic stan: I really don't know much more about the subject, but if you'd like to talk more on the subject I wouldn't mind.

deku uwu: really??

#1 hot topic stan: yes, that's why I offered.

deku uwu: right, thank you Tokoyami!!

DAD MIGHT: as heartwarming as this is, why are you still awake young Midoriya?

deku uwu: 

DAD MIGHT: Young Midoriya?

deku uwu: can I tell you somewhere else? as much as I love y'all, this

deku uwu: this is kinda personal, and while I trust you, I'd rather keep it private, cause I don't wanna air out all my dirty laundry right in the class chat??

deku uwu: if that makes any sense??

DAD MIGHT: No, it makes plenty of sense, my boy.

nya binch: o yea that's right

nya binch: eh, they all knew I was fucked up anyways

#1 hot topic stan: I wish I had that kind of confidence

DAD MIGHT: Alright, young Tokoyami and Shinsou (?), thank you for sharing such personal things with me tonight. I appreciate it. However, it's late and the two of you still need to get some rest. Even if it isn't sleep, it has to be better than staring at a screen until you have to get ready for classes.

DAD MIGHT: Goodnight boys

#1 hot topic stan: Goodnight Sensei.

nya binch: night all might

---

PM between deku uwu and DAD MIGHT

deku uwu: okay so

deku uwu: basically,

deku uwu: people have been telling me that i'm weak! and that i can't be a hero! and my dreams are unattainable and stupid! and that I should just give up! or, you know, just kill myself, pretty much ever since the Quirkless diagnosis. Even if they didn't outright say it, I'd always get this Look whenever I went out around my neighborhood as a kid, like I would either shatter right there on the sidewalk or like I was so far beneath a person that they couldn't even believe I was daring to breathe the same air as them

DAD MIGHT: Wait wait wait, you've been told to kill yourself?

deku uwu: that was a dumb middle school bully and it was only once

deku uwu: but anyways,

deku uwu: I've been internalizing that shit since forever, i guess, and most of the time I can keep it in the back of my head

deku uwu: but sometimes I can't

deku uwu: and usually those times are really late at night, when I can't sleep

deku uwu: so I usually try to tire myself out before I go to bed so I fall asleep quickly

deku uwu: but on days like today, I don't do anything that really exhausts me

deku uwu: so I'm still awake, because I was laying awake and staring at a ceiling and my mind wouldn't shut up and anxiety started hitting me and then the depresso followed and now I'm a mess at too late o'clock

deku uwu: *depression, sorry

DAD MIGHT: Alright, so a lot of things.

DAD MIGHT: First, how much does your mother know?

deku uwu: uh

DAD MIGHT: oh dear

deku uwu: not much

DAD MIGHT: She should probably know, young Midoriya

deku uwu: right...

DAD MIGHT: My boy, why don't you want to tell her?

deku uwu: it's not that I don't want to tell her, it's that

deku uwu: she already has so much on her plate and she worries so much as is and if she knew I couldn't even sleep properly she'd stress and besides, this is my issue so it's my responsibility to fix it

DAD MIGHT: well, why do you have to fix it on your own?

deku uwu: i

deku uwu: i don't know, sir

DAD MIGHT: this is far more hypocritical than you know, my boy, but you really should let her help. Avoiding help, trying to shoulder all the burden on your own, suffering quietly

DAD MIGHT: young Midoriya, there is so much wrong with that

DAD MIGHT: I'm learning this lesson far too late, and in quite a hard way, but it is far more heroic to take care of yourself and to ask for help when it's needed than it is to struggle alone

deku uwu: right

DAD MIGHT: would it help if I told her?

deku uwu:

deku uwu: a little bit, maybe

DAD MIGHT: Alright, so I can tell her, and then you and her can have a conversation about everything you've told me tonight and then we can all figure out how to help you and address some concerns I now have. Sound alright?

deku uwu: yes

DAD MIGHT: good

DAD MIGHT: now, you really should try to get some sleep. Like I told young Shinsou and Tokoyami, staring at a screen for so long in the dark can't be good for you.

deku uwu: goodnight

DAD MIGHT: goodnight son

---

https://youtu.be/09tzb8lkMwE 

^ the video Midoriya shared, in case anyone's curious. It's a bop guys.

Chapter Text

class a

Dwayne: hey quick question

Dwayne: where’s @peppermint boyo

pika p1ka binch: yea he came in looking kinda sick last night and we haven’t seen him since

not your hentai: sick? todoroki looked more upset than sick to me

nya binch:

pika p1ka binch: moonshine?

nya binch: yes sunshine??

pika p1ka binch: you wouldn’t happen to know anything, would you??

fantastic: you know, we haven’t seen Aizawa yet today either...

nya binch: Don’t

nya binch: I don’t know anything, not really

alien queen: but you know something!!!

nya binch: why are you pestering me about it?? you do realize his boyfriend and his childhood bestie are also in the chat and probably know more than I do right???

fantastic: oh yea

alien queen: @momo christ @deku uwu

alien queen: yo is Todoroki okay???

peppermint boyo: hey binch

fantastic: eowrjgfkldh

pika p1ka binch: waersdtjgh

alien queen: ewejkf rgregst

nya binch: oh thank fuck

Dwayne: Hi man!! you okay??

peppermint boyo: oh me? I’m fine

momo christ: Hmm

deku uwu: he actually is fine, I promise

momo christ: Mmm

peppermint boyo: breaking news, my boyfriend is more trustworthy than I am when it comes to my own mental state, more at eleven

momo christ: Oh hush, you drama queen.

Staples™: who knew Todoroki was such a mood??

alien queen: okay but Yaomomo just single-handedly killed Todoroki

peppermint boyo: that’s true

fantastic: oernjtmt

alien queen: ANYWAYS

alien queen: why aren’t you here today Todoroki???

peppermint boyo: it’s complicated

momo christ has kicked peppermint boyo from the chat!

alien queen: MOMO

pika p1ka binch: she hecking YEETED that boi

fantastic: what the heck???

#1 hot topic stan: what a mad banquet of darkness.

fantastic: hush Tokoyami, we all know you’re secretly a meme

#1 hot topic stan: oof

nya binch: hah

momo christ: I’m sorry, I’ll add him back soon. It’s just that Todoroki is a serial overshare-r and this is really personal to him.

Staples™: wait really??

alien queen: tea??

deku uwu: I really don’t have a lot of information

momo christ: Neither do I.

deku uwu: and while I know Aizawa’s involved, and Shinsou’s Aizawa’s kid, there’s really no reason for him to really know anything.

nya binch: ^^

nya binch: stop trying to get information out of me that I don’t have

momo christ: Basically, all we really know is that Todoroki is off-campus at the moment for a family situation.

momo christ: Please don’t pry into the situation anymore.

jack off: that’s Momo for “fuck off it isn’t any of your business”

momo christ: Kyouka!!

girl: we can all hear you laughing Yaoyorozu

nya binch: exposed

 ---

Dwayne: Yo @everyone check the news

fantastic: oh no...

girl: @peppermint boyo Todo, are you okay??

girl: wait

pika p1ka binch: yoooooooooo

Staples™: what the fuck

Spiderman but it's just Tail: Is this real???

maroon 5 wishes: dear god

alien queen: @momo christ @deku uwu @wake me up is this why Todo wasn't here today???

Staples™: wait, how much did Yaomomo and Midoriya know

alien queen: ^^

fantastic: ^^

wake me up: @everyone alright, several things

wake me up: I can't say why Todoroki wasn't in class today. No one can give you information on the case, and certainly not at this time. Todoroki doesn't know much besides what's immediately pertinent to him, so refrain from pestering him for answers he doesn't have, or legally cannot give you.

Spiderman but it's just Tail: holy shit, this is real

not your hentai: already pretty clear that it was but go off i guess

wake me up: also

wake me up: Yaoyorozu (I see you lurking) and @vroom. Don't add Todoroki back into the chat for a bit, alright? For his own mental health, and for the general privacy of everyone involved. 

vroom: Alright!

momo christ: Midoriya and I can keep him updated in the meantime!

deku uwu: ^^

deku uwu: absolutely sensei!!

wake me up: great

---

PM between wake me up and alien queen

wake me up: Ashido. We’ve talked about prying into the lives of others.

alien queen: sorry sensei!!

wake me up: this is your second warning. one more chance before we sic Midnight on you.

alien queen: lol that’s not a very funny joke Mr. Aizawa

wake me up:

alien queen:

alien queen: ...that wasn’t a joke, was it??

wake me up: not really, no.

alien queen: I’LL TRY HARDER SIR!!

wake me up: you’d better. you’re very lucky you have the classmates you do, Ashido.

alien queen: i know

wake me up: you realize why we’re all getting on your case, right?

alien queen: uhhhhhhh

alien queen: i got nothing Sensei

wake me up: I know it seems otherwise, but this isn’t us teachers trying to punish your curiosity Ashido. If that was what we wanted, we’d have to punish the entire Heroics course.

wake me up: the issue we all have is more the way you go about satisfying that curiosity. this ruthless needling and the interrogating and the general lack of respect you sometimes show for your classmates’ privacy is what needs to stop. do you see what I mean there?

alien queen: ...yea

wake me up: good.

Chapter Text

#1 PRO-HERO ENDEAVOR ACCUSED OF DOMESTIC ABUSE: ABSURD PUBLICITY STUNT OR SOMETHING MORE?

CHARGES RISE AS RATINGS DROP FOR ENDEAVOR

JAPAN'S HERO FANS "...divided," AFTER #1 HERO ACCUSED OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, NEGLECT, AND CHILD ENDANGERMENT

WIFE HOSPITALIZED, SON SCARRED, ELDEST DEAD --- ENDEAVOR'S SHAMEFUL SECRETS

"...POPULARITY PLUMMETING," As the Investigation into the Todoroki Family Continues...

YUUEI QUIET AS ABUSE CASE CONTINUES

RECAP: JUST WHAT ARE THE CHARGES AGAINST JAPAN’S #1?

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SCARS: Analyzing the Todoroki Children

What’s the Stance? Check how your favorite heroes have taken the news of #1 hero’s alleged abuse – #12 will shock you!

THE DIRT ON ENJI TODOROKI: THE QUIRK MARRIAGE AND THE ABUSE (FULL ARTICLE)

What Does The Case Against Endeavor Mean For Japan’s Heroes?

Villain Activity Spiking after News of Todoroki Investigation Breaks: “Haven’t seen this since All Might’s retirement,” One Expert Says.

---

recent searches|

hero rankings

endeavor

endeavor case

endeavor abuse

todoroki

todoroki rei

yukimura

yukimura family

quirk marriage

quirk marriage japan

yuuei

---

Yuuei Official ✓

@officialyuueihighschool

Hello all! We @ Yuuei are doing our best to cooperate with authorities in the #todorokiinvestigation! The privacy and health of the Todoroki family is important to us here, and as such, we cannot say anything about the investigation. That’s been the reason behind our silence!

 |

Yuuei Official✓

Please, respect the Todorokis privacy in this difficult time! And remember, you CAN trust your local heroes! They are there to protect you and to help when it is needed. This investigation does not change that! Plus Ultra everyone!!

---

Chapter Text

you’re all fucking dead to me – shouta

nya binch has added peppermint boyo to the chat!

down to clown: oh shit, waddup

nya binch: it dat boi

peppermint boyo: what the actual fuck Shinsou

vroom: Oh dear god, you actually did it.

wheelie sonic: Hito, you brilliant bastard

peppermint boyo: wait Iida??

wheelie sonic: that’s me!

down to clown: Tensei, i think he meant Tenya

peppermint boyo: yea

vroom: Hello

down to clown: hey kid, you’re the ewirbegdjknf fugflnkm

wheelie sonic: emi?? emi???

nya binch: oh my fucking god

wheelie sonic: she fucking dead

peppermint boyo: so why am I here exactly???

wheelie sonic: well

wake me up is now online!

wake me up: God will not be able to save you from the consequences Tensei

wake me up is now offline!

down to clown: don’t like that

wheelie sonic: yet you ask him to marry you every time you fucking meet him in public

down to clown: Tensei, you know damn well how gay I am

down to clown: anyways

down to clown: welcome to hell, Zuko

peppermint boyo: thanks

nya binch: wait wait wait

nya binch: you recognize Avatar references, but before high school, you’d never seen any Ghibli/Disney movies??

peppermint boyo: it’s easier to sneak out late at night or early in the morning and catch bits of cartoon reruns than it is to sit down and watch entire two, three hour movies in one sitting in That house

nya binch: oh valid worm

peppermint boyo: also certain individuals got impatient and forced me into a marathon of the series

nya binch: worm

nya binch: Ashido’s gonna lose her shit

peppermint boyo: she’s gonna have to take that up with Momo, man

peppermint boyo: anyways what even is this chat and why the fuck am i here?

vroom: Yes Shinsou, why is Todoroki here?

nya binch: Dad and Auntie said i could, so i did

wheelie sonic: lmao, so that’s what we’re going with

peppermint boyo: ?

wheelie sonic: nothing :)

peppermint boyo: don’t like that

peppermint boyo: also

peppermint boyo: @vroom and @nya binch, could you two just call me Shouto?

peppermint boyo: because Reasons

nya binch: k

vroom: If that’s what you’d prefer to be called!

peppermint boyo: yea

vroom: Then I can absolutely do that! Though I must insist that you call me by my given name as well.

peppermint boyo: alright

---

class A

momo christ added peppermint boyo to the chat!

momo christ: Give him a minute before you spam. Shouto’s got something to say.

peppermint boyo: @everyone can you all stop calling me by my family name? give me a nickname or call me by my given name if you have to. just. anything else but Todoroki.

Dwayne: yea sure dude!!!

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: you’re still fucking icy hot, you fucking bastard

peppermint boyo: thanks bakubro.

momo christ: Shouto, you’ve been back for literally five seconds. Don’t get exploded just yet.

peppermint boyo: but mom

momo christ: No.

deku uwu: Shoucchan!!!

deku uwu: you’re back already!!

peppermint boyo: yea

girl: lol he fucking

friend: zoomed

girl: yes, thank you Tsu

friend: <3

girl: <3

pika p1ka binch: gay

girl: no u

friend: kero

jack off: damn

Staples™: that’s just how it be sometimes

fantastic: wait what are we going to call @peppermint boyo?

pika p1ka binch: maybe we can all just call him Shoucchan like Midoriya does???

peppermint boyo: no

deku uwu: no

nya binch: lol gay

momo christ: Shouto. Midoriya. We're all RIGHT here.

momo christ: Stop making out with each other to prove a point, and put your tongues back where they belong please.

peppermint boyo: but mom

nya binch: wait if Yaoyorozu’s your mother,

nya binch: does that mean Jirou’s your step mother

jack off: hey Shinsou, do you take constructive criticism?

nya binch: no

jack off: too bad

jack off: i hate it op

nya binch: oof

pika p1ka binch: step mom how can you be so mean

jack off: shut it

jack off: i’m too young and too gay for this kind of responsibility

girl: oh mood

alien queen: worm

---

i want a divorce – Eraser

screm dad: damnit he caught on

wake me up: Zashi

wake me up: Nemuri

wake me up: what the actual fuck???

Alchemist: goddamnit

cowboy babey: what did the two of you do now??

go the fuck to sleep: i did nothing wrong and I’m not ashamed of the results

wake me up has changed go the fuck to sleep’s name to shameless but not blameless

marshy mellow: “i did nothing wrong” Doubt

shameless but not blameless: RUDE

marshy mellow: >:/

 DAD MIGHT: wait what exactly happened?

wheelie sonic: lmao, Nem and Hizashi gave the purple son permisson to add the Candy Cane to the family chat and nearly ruined the surprise

DAD MIGHT: Oh!

wake me up: while he's not in End**vor's custody anymore, the paperwork’s going to take a week to go through.

wake me up: until then, he’s just a ward of the school.

wake me up: we can’t take him home until the paperwork’s finalized, so there’s little point in telling him.

Our Lord and Savior has changed the chat name to Erasermic Stop Adopting Challenge 2019!

wake me up: Chiyo, you’ve fucking betrayed me.

screm dad: this is homophobia

wheelie sonic: reverse uno card

shameless but not blameless: Tensei, babe did you seriously just type that out

wheelie sonic: ye

shameless but not blameless: the effort of that honestly pisses me off

midomommy: Oh, that’s so sweet how you want to keep it a surprise for him!

screm dad: thank you ma'am

midomommy: :D

screm dad: BD

Gucci Wishes: What the actual fuck is that monstrosity Mic??

screm dad: what?

screm dad: this?

screm dad: BD

Gucci Wishes: That.

screm dad: it’s a smiley

Gucci Wishes: It’s ugly, that’s what it is.

screm dad: that’s rich, coming from a guy whose whole public image is TRIPLE DENIM

shameless but not blameless: gasp

reverse vore man: oh shit

marshy mellow: honestly I’ve always thought that Aizawa would be the husband to fight Jeanist but this works

Gucci Wishes: I didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve left me no choice.

Gucci Wishes: The way you style your hair makes you look like a cockatiel.

shameless but not blameless: g a s p

wheelie sonic: oh SHIT

screm dad: meet me in the fucking PIT Jeanist

wake me up: Jeanist fucking meet me in the pit

Asss: LMAO

reverse vore man: aw they sent it at the same time

KFC: i need a man like that

marshy mellow: lol Eraser and Yamada have turned death threats and stealing away children from bad homes into couple goals

Asss: iconic

KFC: what’s their secret?? asking for a friend

Legg: :eyes:

KFC: >:^|

Legg: istg

KFC: >:^|

Tea: Your penis doesn’t count as a friend, Hawks.

Legg: edjnskfgdxklkmldszf

marshy mellow: holY FRICK

wheelie sonic: fgbfjnlmkdsfd

KFC: Rumi I'm being bullied

Legg: wow how sad

KFC:  :^(

---

Chapter Text

you’re all fucking dead to me – shouta

screm dad has changed the chat name to Erasermic Fam Chat

screm dad: GUESS WHAT FUCKING PAPERWORK WENT THROUGH BITCHES

wheelie sonic: O SHIT CONGRATS

shameless but not blameless: hell yea

wheelie sonic: lol look at Nemuri, refusing to break the aesthetic even though it’s a special fucking occasion.

shameless but not blameless: i still have those pictures

wheelie sonic: :fear:

peppermint boyo: wait if this is a family chat, why am I here?

---

PM between down to clown and shameless but not blameless

down to clown: babe I thought Zuko was one of the smart ones???

shameless but not blameless: eh yea he’s smart

shameless but not blameless: but he’s as dense as a fucking rock

---

down to clown: congrats to you disasters!! you’ve successfully stolen another child!! god only knows how y’all keep doing it, or why, but hey. congrats!!!

peppermint boyo: ???

wake me up: Tensei. I see you typing. Don’t.

nya binch: and Cryptid Dad makes a comeback

wake me up: Hito

screm dad: ANYWAYS

screm dad: thank you Emi!! you too Tensei

screm dad: Shou can I tell him????

peppermint boyo: ???

peppermint boyo: wait

---

condescending soba

peppermint boyo: not to sound dramatic or anything

peppermint boyo: but I think I just got adopted??

let it go: good they can keep you

peppermint boyo: rude

Yumi: wait hang on, what??

peppermint boyo: I got adopted Fuyumi

peppermint boyo: this is so fucking weird???

let it go: how weird??

peppermint boyo: I’ve been in the family chat for several days now without realizing it

let it go: that’s not weird, you’re just a dumbass

peppermint boyo: rude^2

let it go: anyways who the fuck even adopted you anyways

let it go: we gotta send them a fancy thank you card

peppermint boyo: okay so you know Present Mic??

peppermint boyo: him and his husband

peppermint boyo: also I don’t recommend a card, Mic would probably bawl his eyes out

let it go: all the more reason to be Extra

Yumi: Natsu!! don’t be mean to Shouto’s guardians!!

let it go: but Yuuuuuuuumi

Yumi: >:[

peppermint boyo: oh fuck, Natsuo you’re in trouble

let it go: anyways

Yumi: you aren’t getting away from your sins so easily

let it go: we still gonna be able to see you little bro??

Yumi:

Yumi: that’s actually a good question, will we??

peppermint boyo: i think so???

peppermint boyo: Mic and Aizawa didn’t seem opposed to it??

let it go: wait wait wait

let it go: Aizawa?? the caterpillar man???

Yumi: Your homeroom teacher??

peppermint boyo: goddamnit

peppermint boyo: i’ve been in the family for five seconds and i’ve already exposing their secrets fwjsdgldkrwretr

Yumi: sadjfigrefkldzlo

let it go: ok but mood

peppermint boyo: anyways

let it go: hang on little bro

peppermint boyo: aNyWAYS

peppermint boyo: i can ask about seeing you guys + mom

Yumi: please do!!

let it go: ^^^

let it go: it’d suck to lose you when we just got you back, you know?

peppermint boyo: i know

---

Erasermic Stop Adopting Challenge 2019

screm dad: GUESS WHICH FUCKING DISASTERS NOW HAVE THREE (3) WHOLE GODDAMN CHILDREN

marshy mellow: !!!

marshy mellow: congrats!!

I AM MACHINE: o fuck that paperwork went through awfully fast, didn’t it?? congratulations

Gucci Wishes: congratulations!

cowboy babey: hell yea

Alchemist: congrats

Tea: Congratulations! I see that you and Eraser still have that adoption bread!

Chapter Text

✦ ~ shiny boi ~ ✦ : are we gonna have a problem??

deku uwu: you got a bone to pick?

girl: you’ve come so far

nya binch: why now are you pulling on my DICK???

BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL: I’d normally slap your face off

Staples™: he would

pika p1ka binch: he wouldn’t even hesitate

Staples™ and pika p1ka binch are now offline!

jack off: well they’re both dead

Dwayne has changed BAKUGOING TO KATSUKILL ’s name to heather chandler!

heather chandler:

heather chandler: are you fucking kidding me

nya binch: it’s accurate

Dwayne: what do you not like it??

heather chandler:

heather chandler: it’s okay

alien queen: #whipped

heather chandler: FUCK OFF

momo christ: Oh, we’re talking musicals!

momo christ: I’m a particular fan of Anastasia and the Comet of 1812!!

girl: I still need to listen to Comet, how good is it???

momo christ: Very.

girl: yesssssssssssss

#1 hot topic stan: I’m not a particular fan of how they cut Rasputin out of the musical

#1 hot topic stan: he was the best part of the movie

deku uwu: ????

deku uwu: Vlad??

#1 hot topic stan: that is a very compelling argument

friend: I can’t believe you would forget Vlad like that

Dwayne: smh Tokoyami

deku uwu: does anyone else really like Dear Evan Hansen??

Dwayne: !!!!

Dwayne: i LOVED deh

momo christ: Oh, DEH made me cry.

deku uwu: I was a total mess listening to You Will Be Found

jack off: oof

Dwayne: god BIG same

friend: all of you are so valid, kero

fantastic: CAN ANYBODY SEE

nya binch: IS ANYBODY WAVING

deku uwu: BACK AT ME

Dwayne: Ben Platt makes me cry

deku uwu: he’s so talented

nya binch: he’s got a great voice

jack off: yes, he does, but you wanna know who else has got a voice??

jack off: Barrett Wilbert Weed

girl: wait, heathers or mean girls??

jack off: both

alien queen: OMG MEAN GIRLS WAS AWESOME

Dwayne: yes!!! Janice was so cool!!!

deku uwu: Taylor Louderman was an awesome fit for Regina

Dwayne: you know who else would be an awesome fit for Regina??

Dwayne has changed heather chandler ’s name to Regina

alien queen: LMAO

jack off: qeajkwhglkhlgvjh KIRISHIMA

Regina:

Regina has changed Dwayne's name to Gretchen

girl: eufhgjoflkhgfegrhf

#1 hot topic stan: hmm

Regina: fuck off

#1 hot topic stan: understandable

girl: real talk though, I was so excited when Gretchen got an entire number to herself

deku uwu: middle school me would’ve loved What’s Wrong with Me honestly

fantastic: oh god same

girl: you know what middle school me fucking loved??

girl: Wicked

nya binch: defying gravity?

girl: yea

girl: it was basically my theme song back in middle school

friend: defying gravity is still your theme song

girl: true <3

nya binch: Wicked’s good

momo christ: Idina Menzel’s voice was stunning

nya binch: ikr

girl: She’s probably responsible for my gay awakening

momo christ: ^

✦ ~ shiny boi ~ ✦ : Mon amies, you all are sleeping on Legally Blonde and I’m quite disappointed（；¬＿¬)

deku uwu: !!!

fantastic: omg I fucking LOVE legally blonde

alien queen: Elle Woods is such an icon

deku uwu: guys EMMETT

Gretchen: EMMETT!!!!

deku uwu: i fucking loved Emmett

friend: Midoriya you give me big Emmett vibes

deku uwu: eqwasrdthjftkl

deku uwu: this is the greatest compliment I’ve ever gotten???

nya binch: Wait if Midoriya’s Emmett would that mean that Todoroki is Elle?

alien queen: ewfaurgejslthdytjfuy

jack off: i would pay to see that

fantastic: part of me is a little scared of what Todoroki would look like as a blond though

peppermint boyo: If I end up blonde through any means, the first people I’m going after are the four of you.

fantastic: yikes

alien queen: big Yikes

nya binch: fucking do it bitch

nya binch: nerf me Zuko

jack off: kinky

momo christ: ANYWAYS

momo christ: Vivian really deserved better and I’m glad she left Warner in the end.

alien queen: warner was a DICK

nya binch: guys PAULETTE

Gretchen: PAULETTE

deku uwu: did I leave my...stylus?

Gretchen: Kyle!!!!!

Gretchen: Kyle was awesome guys

alien queen: middle school kiri crushed on Kyle so hard

Gretchen: hush

not your hentai: all of us @ the Grape: do you hear the people sing

nya binch: qeafrgethr

fantastic: that was beautiful Shouji

not your hentai: thank you

peppermint boyo: that was the sad French one, right?

girl: ...sad French one....

jack off: fwergsdjkfml,

fantastic: dude why are you so ignorant??

peppermint boyo: It’s the childhood trauma

momo christ: Yes, Shouto. Les Misérables is the sad French one.

✦ ~ shiny boi ~ ✦ has changed ✦ ~ shiny boi ~ ✦ ’s name to ~Sad French One~!

fantastic: that’s valid Aoyama

nya binch: @wake me up pops

wake me up: what?

nya binch: talk musicals with us

wake me up: no?

girl: Mr. Aizawa, you like musicals??

friend: ^

#1 hot topic stan: ^

wake me up: goddamnit

wake me up: yea I know a few musicals

wake me up: if you really want to talk about musical theatre though, go to like. Midnight or Present Mic

wake me up: they love that sort of thing

alien queen: filing that information for later!

deku uwu: what are your favorites Sensei??

nya binch: give him a sec to think, he’s old

wake me up: Hitoshi

nya binch: lol

wake me up: back to your question

wake me up: Next to Normal and Chicago

deku uwu: my mom loves Chicago!!

deku uwu: she’s always playing Cell Block Tango at home

deku uwu: when she cooks

deku uwu: when she cleans

deku uwu: i probably have most of it memorized by now

wake me up: i

wake me up: i did not have her pegged as someone who would love Chicago

deku uwu: yea, people are always really surprised when they hear that

nya binch: can’t imagine why

deku uwu: she really likes Waitress too though

nya binch: see now THAT makes a lot more sense.

alien queen: IT’S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Gretchen: omg be more chill!!

deku uwu: michael!! all time fave!!!

Gretchen: rgsjdfkml yea i get what you mean

deku uwu: i relate to michael in the bathroom more than i probably should

nya binch: Eric William Morris could sasuke choke me and I’d say thank you

wake me up: i just want to say, from the bottom of my heart

wake me up: i did not need to know That

jack off: fidjvnsfjkm, yea Shinsou keep your hormones in check

Spiderman but it’s just Tail: i log on for once in my life, and this is what i see

nya binch: this is homophobia

vroom: I believe you mean “Horny-phobia”

deku uwu: iefjnskglhngkl.g,vmdl

Gretchen: renjlk;fldsfdnjrk

jack off: ersnjtlkdffgnjds

alien queen: class pres, I’m so proud of you

nya binch: wow I can’t believe all of you, my own father included, are such hornyphobes.

wake me up: due to personal reasons, i will be disowning roughly half of you all

Gretchen: why only half??

alien queen: lmao “only”

wake me up: Kouda did nothing wrong

✿ snow white ❀ : （*/∇＼*）

jack off: that’s true

✿ snow white ❀ : (*/ω＼*)

fantastic: here in this house we love and appreciate Kouda

Spiderman but it’s just Tail: it’s Kouda appreciation hours

alien queen: rt

deku uwu: rt

fantastic: rt

Gretchen: rt

jack off: rt

momo christ: rt

 ✿ snow white ❀ : (/ω＼)