Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1992

Joe wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on, he was too tired. Getting up early wasn’t the issue, it was drive. Why couldn’t they just film closer to the trailers, or move the trailers, then everything would be just so much easier. He had his head against the car door, but he was too short to get a good view out of the window, though he didn’t mind so much. He had to keep pulled the seatbelt around to get comfortable, ultimately settling to just his body out from under it so it just sat across his lap instead. Ariana seemed to share his sentiment and she was already asleep against the window, using her jacket as a pillow. The radio was playing in the background, while Jeff talked with the man that was driving. Joe wondered if Jeff liked being stuck in a car with two kids...at least they were well behaved. He wasn’t really paying attention to what was being said, drifting in and out of consciousness as they drove, until something grabbed his attention.

His head perked up when the voice came through the radio.

Can anybody

Find me

Somebody to

Love

He didn’t recognise the song, but something about it gripped him tight and shook him up. The voice was so soft and melodic. The collection of voices felt like a warm hug, something he’d never felt from one single song, not like that. The piano started with a warming melody and then more singing. He adjusted himself in his seat, pulling himself upright to listen more closely. His body started swaying ever slightly to the beat, and his lips tugged up into a gentle smile.
Jeff had noticed the change in behaviour of the boy, and watched quietly, looking through the rearview mirror. He couldn’t help but smile as well. Joe, who up until that point, looked as bored and as tired as an eight year old possible could, not seemed totally transfixed by the music from the radio. And he wasn’t just listening to the singing, but to the guitar and the drums and the bass, smiling during the short guitar solo.

The acapella kicked in, and the repetitiveness of the lyrics allowed to Joe to silently sing along in the backseat. “Having fun there?” Jeff asked, startling the young boy, eyes wide as he stared back at him, mouth open agasp as if being caught stealing the last cookie from the jar. Jeff chuckled, “Relax kid. You like the song?” Joe nodded vigorously, the smile reappearing when it was clear he wasn’t in any form of trouble. “You know it?” And Joe should his head, his smile faltering. “It’s Queen.”

“Queen?”

“Yeah, that’s the band, and the songs called Somebody To Love.”

Find me

Somebody to

Love

“I like it,” he said, smile returning to a bright beam. His voice was raised, enthusiastic, but his hand quickly drew up to cover it, afraid being too loud would wake Ariana and he didn’t want to have to deal with that; he knew how grumpy he could be himself after being woken from a nap.

Jeff laughed again, “She’s fast asleep, don’t worry. You never heard Queen before?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve never heard that song before, is it new?”

“No, came out in nineteen seventy six.”

Joe had to count in his head. “That’s seven years before I was even born, that song’s old.”

There was something about this kid that couldn’t help but make Jeff laugh. “Hey,” he said, faining offence, “I was alive then you know.”

“Sorry.” His kept his voice quieter. “But, I thought the radio only played new songs.”

“Well, usually yeah, but see, the thing is, the lead singer, Freddie Mercury, died quite recently, so they’re playing a lot of Queen songs on the radio in his memory.”

The smile that had been on Joe’s face dropped and his eyes fell down to stare at the back of the seat. “He died? When?”

“In November.”

“Oh.”

Jeff felt bad for the boy, sounding so defeated and upset, but there wasn’t much he could do about it really. Maybe he could help. “How about,” he began, “after we finish up today, I give you some of my old Queen cassette tapes to listen to? That way, you can listen to their music whenever you want.” Joe nodded with a smile.

“Thank you,” the boy said.

“Don’t worry about it. Now, try and get some sleep, we’ve still got quite some time before we get on location.”

Joe nodded and settled back into his seat, head falling back against the window. But he didn’t feel very tired anymore, instead quite sad. There was something about that song that sounded different in every way to every other song he’d ever head, and he wasn’t sure what it was. He doubted it was just one single thing that made it special, but it was everything in that song that made it different. And he thought about the singer, Freddie Mercury, being dead. He’d listen to old music before, where the singer or writer was dead,
but never so soon. It was less than a year, and it gave Joe a slightly uneasy feeling in his stomach as they drove, but that could just be motion sickness.

# # # # # #

Joe was thankful to be back from location. The shooting went well and he thought he did a good job, he was told as much as least, and he was able to catch a nap on the way back. He was gently shaken awake when they arrived back by on of the first ADs, telling him he that he’d have to wait somewhere for a bit before his parents could get him since they finished the shoot early, but he didn’t mind, as he knew exactly where to head to.

Jeff’s trailer was easy to find, and he carefully knocked on the door and waited. Seconds later, the door swung open, Joe nearly getting knocked over in the process, and Jeff stood smiling down at him. “There you are,” he said, “Thought you’d left already. Come in then.” Joe bounded up the steps and into the trailer. He stood there patiently while Jeff pulled out a cardboard box. Curiosity got the better of him, and he shuffled over to find it packed full with cassettes.

“Are these all Queen?” He asked.

“No, but some of them are, if I can just find them that is.” Joe didn’t recognise the names of any f the bands or singers on the boxes. Jeff pulled one out in a sudden movement and held the cassette out to Joe. A Kind Of Magic. It had Queen’s name on it and he smiled. Then more were pulled from the box; A Day at the Races, The Works, one just called Queen, A Night at the Opera. Joe scanned the front of each box before the other was stacked on top. “I think there’s the ones I’ve got, but they made others too.”

“Thank you,” he looked at them all in his hands, smiling.

“You want to borrow this while you’re here?” It was a cassette player, one of the portable ones with the weird orange headphone. He nodded his head eagerly. Jeff shuffled over on the couch and Joe plopped himself down, the tape stack wobbling in his little hands as he did so. Jeff helped him set them on the table in front of them before picked one up and loading it in for him. He held the headphone in he hands, waiting. “This album is called A Day at the Races. It has the song from the radio on it, so thought you might like this one.”

He nodded again and put the headphones. Music started playing and sat listening intently. Jeff chuckled, the boy already so engrossed, and he went to go talk to the director about something, signally for Joe to stay put. He smiled and seemed content, Jeff doubting he would go anywhere, so he left him along with the music.

His ears filled with the sound of grand guitars and orchestral gongs with soon faded, and in was ushered a heavier guitar sound with drums and bass and vocals. Joe found himself bopping head along. He didn’t know the song but he smiled and could really seem him enjoying this in the future too. He quickly kicked off his shoes and pulled his feet up onto the couch, tucking his knees up to his chest with the cassette player held in his hands, and he settled to listen to the album by Queen.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t even made it until the song he knew until Jeff appeared and pulled the headphones off his head. “Your parents are here Joey.”
He was audibley disappointed, but stood and handed the cassette player back to Jeff. “Thank you for letting me listen to,” he said and started heading for the door, picking up his trainers on the way.

“Hey,” Jeff called after him, “How about tomorrow, I let you borrow them again, and I’ll let you listen to all the albums I have.”

“Really?” The enthusiasm was clear as day, and Jeff nodded. “Thank you so much.” Joe had to go, his parents were waiting, but he had a feeling that the next day would be a distracted day of shooting.

Chapter Text

1994

There was no doubt that he was excited for this role. There was no doubt he was nervous for this role. There was no doubt that Joe was feeling the pressure to get things right, not just for himself, not just for the cast and the crew and the film, but for Freddie Mercury.

He imagined his parents were slightly sick of Queen by now. He’d listened to other things, other bands and types of music, but Queen had become something of a stable in the Mazzello household, all because of him. He listen to their music a lot, especially when he first was able to hold those cassettes in his hands. He’d begged his parents for their music, on cassette, on record, anything, just so he could listen again and again. They bought him a portable cassette played for his birthday that year and a copy of A Day at the Races, and he couldn’t of been happier. It was undoubtedly one of his favourite albums; whenever he heard Somebody To Love, he was transported back to that backseat hearing it for the first time on the radio. His life had changed that day.

His parents called it an obsession, and they weren’t exactly wrong. He used every resource he could get his hands on to learn about Queen. He was never disappointed with what he found out. Joe found himself latching very strongly to the lead singer, ever since Jeff mentioned him passing away. He read about that too, and though it made him sad, he often found himself with a small smile at the end of every article; though he was gone, he was living on through his music and his friends, and that was something Joe found very special.

He remembered the first time he listened to Who Wants To Live Forever and he ended up feeling pretty down the rest of the day. The song was just so sad, the lyrics deep and emotional, and Joe tried to not let them get to him but it didn’t work. He’d laid on his bed with his headphone on just listening to the song. Then he’d rewind it and listen again. It wasn’t helping anything but he did. It was a good song, just sad. Freddie’s passing just made every word seem a little bit heavier.

The walls of his bedroom soon started to be covered in posters of the band and of Freddie. It helped him focus, helped him be a better person somehow.
Reading about Freddie meant he also ended up reading about HIV and AIDS. There was no cure, Joe found out, which hurt, and it was preventable if people were safe with each other, which also hurt. When he heard about The Cure and the role of Dexter, he felt like his heart would explode. He had to have that role.

# # # # # #

Joe was happy to be on lunch break. He quickly collected his food and scuttled off to his trailer to eat in peace. Well, not in peace. Just him, his food and Queen for company. He’d managed to get a full cassette collection by now, and he kept them safe at home. Everyday he’d bring one or two tapes with him and then take them home at the end of the day to exchange. He was eager to get back to The Game and Innuendo. And it’s be nice to have a break from the filming and from Brad.

He didn’t hate Brad, of course not, but Joe just found it difficult to work with him at times which meant it was draining, both emotionally and physically. He had an hour to destress, enjoy his music, then go back and keep going. He sat down on the floor cross-legged, tucking himself under the table with his back against the couch. He let his headphone go and twang against his ears – he loved doing that – before having to adjust them like he always did. He clicked in The Game, and he was smart enough the night before to wind it back to the beginning, and pressed play. He started eating his chips when the Play The Game slowly began to come to life in his ears. There was always something about when Freddie’s voice first cut through it all that sent little shivers up his spine. He wondered what it’d be like to play a musical instrument. Maybe one day he’d get to it.

He’d managed to get through that entire song and halfway through Dragon Attack when he realised he’d forgotten to grab a drink and he was quite thirsty. He stood, clicking the portable cassette player to the side of his jeans, and made off to the food tend, hoping they’d still be something there for him. Luckily there was, and he snatched the juice box off the side of the table. As he was walking away, he heard through his music his name being called. He turned back to see Brad sitting at a table with his foot up on the chair next to him. Joe paused his music and took his headphones off, letting them hang around his neck.

“What you listening to?” Brad shouted. Joe approached the table so he wouldn’t have to.

“Queen,” he said, quite matter of factly.

“Let me listen.” Joe was a little reluctant, but Dragon Attack was coming to an end and Another One Bites the Dust was on after. It was a good song and Joe thought Brad might like it, so pulled his headphone off from around his neck and passed them over. Brad put them on and Joe pressed play. And Joe watched Brad’s face as he listened, which stayed mostly blank until he pulled the headphone off, his nose scrunching up slightly like when something didn’t smell quite right. The song couldn’t be other yet, Joe thought, and when he picked up the orange headphones to pull them back around his neck, the song was still going.

“Rubbish,” Brad said, and continued eating his food.

“Rubbish?” Joe couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.

“Yeah, like, they’re not good. You like that?” Joe nodded, which received a ‘pff’ from Brad and a disapproving head shake. “Jeez, that music’s terrible, should try listening to something good, like Tupac or Scarface, you know.”

Joe wasn’t a huge fan of rap music, not that he was against it by all means, but it just wasn’t his thing. “I don’t really like rap,” he said, as if they would matter to Brad, who just shrugged and picked at the food on his plate.

“Well, okay, but still, that rubbish?”

Joe hurried away without answering what Joe assumed was a question, though he doubted Brad really cared. It felt weird to hear someone so actively dislike the music. Joe had read so much on the band and he just thought everybody liked them, but clearly not. Everyone was entitled to an opinion, and Joe didn’t mind so much, but it was the way Brad looked at him, as if he was less for choosing to listen to the likes of Queen and not Tupac, that got to him.

Oh well, Joe thought, as he hopped back into his trailer. He got his drink and that was what mattered, but something in his stomach didn’t quite sit well with him. Brad could’ve at least listened to the whole song. Though music tastes differed,young Joe couldn’t quite understand how the music didn’t speak to Brad. Joe couldn’t get enough of them, and it seemed a lot of the world felt the same, but Brad didn’t.

Joe found he wasn’t very hungry when he sat back down in front of his food. Instead, he just put his headphone back on and continued listening away. Need Your Loving Tonight was beginning to play, so he chose to ignore everything else but the song. Queen seemed to be able to always provide what he needed, so he hoped that it would be the same now, as he listened away, forgetting that Brad didn't quite seem to understand what the music meant to him, then again, how could he?