Chapter Text
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ [ click for a playlist to listen while reading. ] ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
Jeongguk took a deep breath. It was an easy thing to do, all he needed was courage. He was the adorable young kid of the group, they wouldn't yell at him for this, right? He was cute and they were not immune to his cute puppy face. If he wobbled his lower lip, it would be the end game, Hoseok would be preparing a hundred-page presentation about how Jeongguk was so precious and should be given whatever he wants. He was that powerful and they were that weak for him.
So Jeongguk being Jeongguk, he hid the plastic bag full of alcohol with extra care (he was going to have to beg Seokjin to give him food, the price of the tequila had just punched his 2-month budget planning in the face). Jeongguk could already see himself cleaning Seokjin's dorm and washing the dishes. A brave sacrifice he had to do if he wanted to survive the semester without starving to death. Whoever the fuck was responsible for that bottle to be that expensive could choke on their cereal, thank you.
He kept his attitude the usual during the whole night. He ate pizza and watched Game Of Thrones with all his hyungs, talked about this and that, laughed at the jokes and made a mess of Yoongi's dorm with Jimin. He was being his usual self and it was utterly impossible for any of them to understand his big plan for the night; to get drunk. He, a healthy 20 years old male, was going to get drunk for the first time ever in his life. After all those years of being treated like a small child by his older brother and group of friends, he was going to prove to everyone that he was a grown man and could afford to get drunk once in a while. Namjoon 'accidentally' set Hoseok's phone on fire when he was drunk once, so how bad could Jeongguk be. The most he could do was puke or sleep, and still, it was much better than the god of destruction, the drunk Kim Namjoon.
It was past eleven when they all stood up to go back to their dorms. Yoongi told Jeongguk to wait so he could give his pass Christmas present he forgot to buy a week ago. He sat on the empty mattress across his hyung's dark blue covered bed, thinking of all the possibilities what Yoongi could have bought him. Jeongguk thought he did a good job of implying what he wanted from his hyungs. ( "I would sacrifice a whole colony for you, baby, but seriously-why is that game that expensive? I mean 'lol' is apparently better." Taehyung once said. Jeongguk stole all his underwear the next day to avenge the game.)
"Okay, close your eyes now," and Jeongguk obeyed the order without a second thought, his huge smile showing his bunny teeth. He prayed to any divine being up there for it to be 'God of War'. After all his hyung knew him very well and Jeongguk has been saying how his life would be much better with that game, so unless Yoongi's power of perception was dull, he must have gotten the message.
"Open," Yoongi said and so did he.
"Okay hyung, are you broke? " Jeongguk said with the biggest disappointment, the divine power above them must have learned Jeongguk didn't go to church on Sundays and was taking revenge. It's all the government's fault for not building one close to the University.
"What- God forbid, I'm not bankrupt unlike y'all."
"Than please enlighten me why my there is lemon slices and salt instead of 'God Of War' because I'm about to stuff them down your throat hyung. I don't think ANYONE is this dense. I won't feel guilty towards Hoseok-hyung for killing his boyfriend in this situation. In fact, I'm sure he'd help me choke you to death. You better have a good reason for this, shit of a present apparently, or may god help you."
" First of all, language. And second of all," Yoongi sighed and pointed Jeongguk's bag. "I know your small plan of drinking the shit out of yourself, you twat. So I give you a nice option." Jeongguk felt his life-span getting shorter in a few seconds. He was caught.
"What is the nice option?" Jeongguk asked. Yoongi shrugged,
"Drink within my guard."
"Okay, well, no. Because those are not for me. You see, they're for Yugyeom."
"Yugyeom my ass, you sit and drink here or I'll excuse myself to call Jimin," Yoongi said motioning Jeongguk to sit and accept his fate.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me, you won't like how it ends." His hyung glared, opening Jimin's number from the contacts. One finger move and Jimin would learn his secret plan, kick his ass to moon and back. The worst part? He would be hurt, thinking Jeongguk didn't trust him enough to drink with him.
"Hyung you can't do that it's not fair. He will beat me to death and not talk to me, like, ever."
"I know, kid. I won't call him unless you accept the fact that you're still a fetus that can't be allowed to drink without supervision. Seokjin-hyung will strangle you in your sleep if he learns and god forbid what else he might do to the rest of us for being bad influences towards you."
"Okay, I get it." Jeongguk let out an angry groan, stomping his feet to the ground with annoyance. "Nevertheless, I hope you choke on my tequila."
"Shut your mouth and take out the drinks."
Jeongguk took the beer cans and tequila out, placing them down. Yoongi took two shot glass from the second drawer on his desk, giving one to Jeongguk. "Is it your first time drinking tequila?" he asked.
"Hyung, it's my first time getting drunk, not first alcohol."
"Is it?" Yoongi asked again. Jeongguk huffed and nodded.
"Repeat what I do, kid."
Yoongi sprinted salt to his hand, licked it and gulped down the small glass of tequila. He sucked on the lemon right after. He didn't seem affected or tipsy. "Your turn," Yoongi said to encourage Jeongguk on his first shot.
Jeongguk did each step Yoongi showed him and knocked back the warm liquid. He found it too bitter at first, his throat burned after the bitterness. But he liked it.
"Is it too bitter for you?" Jeongguk nodded in approval. "It okay, you get used to it. Hand back your glass." Yoongi poured another shot and handed it back to the younger male. Jeongguk was coping with the weird flavor on his tongue, as Yoongi was on his 4th shot.
"It's weird," he said and stuck out his tongue towards his hyung to see if he was having an allergic reaction towards the drink. Why else would it feel that weird? Yoongi laughed and pushed his hair back from his forehead. Jeongguk took two more shots, getting used to the flavor a bit. Yoongi watched him, looking at his reactions. His hand went to the polaroid camera Jimin gifted him last year, and Jeongguk noticed. He noticed the older taking the picture, but didn't react. It was Yoongi's thing, everyone knew. He liked to take pictures, even if he never showed it to any of them.
Blue looks great on him, Jeongguk thought. The blue shirt really showed Yoongi's figure. The male was small compared to the others (except Jimin but Jimin had muscles, so Yoongi was still tiny compared to Jimin) yet he had muscles there and there. His face. His hands. His forehead. His lips. His hips.
No.
No, stop.
Don't.
He was not going to do it to himself again. Digging that hopeless pit was no good, only painful as if. Yoongi was his hyung and he was nothing more than a puppy that needed attention and protection from the elder, for Yoongi. A kid, in his words. The funny kid that followed him around the Seoul. The young kid that needed guidance. A kid that couldn't even get drunk.
"Let's continue with the beers, it'll be easier," Yoongi handed one can to the younger and they drank in silence, the tv was the only sound to fill the room.
As the years passed, Jeongguk realized that he hated the word kid. He may eventually have started to hate kids due to the word. The word 'kid' felt like a keen-edged knife in his hands. Everyone kept using the word and he was fine with others calling him 'kid'. But at the end of the day, it gave his chest discomfort when Yoongi was the one to dictate the word. It struck him across the face that fact that he had zero chance towards the other each time heard the word.
Just-a-kid had no chance with Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok did. Hoseok, the only person ever to succeed at being irreplaceable in Yoongi's life and heart. Or even more, soul. Yoongi loved the man. Yoongi, being the royal boyfriend, had no eyes on the others. Jungkook just watched as Yoongi slipped away from him. He used to hold Yoongi's hand, which now Hoseok did. Yoongi would invite the younger to his small studio, record songs or just hang there with him the whole day. All the special things were now just pushed aside. So feeling like a kicked out puppy, he ran to Taehyung's arms. What if... What if he didn't? Jeongguk wondered about that a lot. Would He and Yoongi be together? Would he be just alone?
Yoongi didn't send morning and night calls to him. Yoongi didn't kiss him. He didn't kiss the hurt place if he ever got hurt. He didn't hold his hands. He didn't yell at Hoseok if he interrupted him during his work, but he did to Jeongguk. He would get angry at him, look down on him, pat him on the back. Jeongguk wished he knew how it felt when those hands were on his own hands. He wanted to be more, have more or feel more. And receive more. Jeongguk was a mere victim of the other one's charm, of his heart. He told his heart many times that he would only end up crying in the corner if he didn't stop. Yet here he was, again, thinking how kissable his lips were. Slightly pink, deep and defined 'v', the concrete meaning of salacity, of love, of perfect. Jeongguk felt his mind getting deeper into the no good pit with each gulp of the beer. His brain screamed danger.
"Do you feel tipsy yet?" Yoongi asked, watching Jeongguk stare at the tv with a blank face on.
"I don't know how to know if I am tipsy."
"Jesus fuck, that's so pure... Your head will be kinda numb, and stomach... I don't know like you received a punch into your stomach? Yeah, I guess kinda like that." Yoongi said with a small laugh and bite his lips.
"It is hot in here," Jeongguk said loud.
No, it is wrong.
Stop.
But he didn't. He had that light yet the warm feeling in his body and the temporary gumption to do what he thought. He took his shirt off, and trousers next. He kicked his socks to the ground. He was always self-assured when it came to the body. His hours of working out and dancing did so much good to his body. His tanned body was just a cherry on top. He looked at his hyung to receive a reaction. Maybe disappointment, frustration, lust, humor; anything. He could see the disgust and it would be enough for him. Just a reaction, a sign that Yoongi was aware of him. For once, his mind to be on Jeongguk, not Hoseok.
"Hey, you'll catch a cold," Yoongi mumbled looking at his phone. Jeongguk felt tears form in his eyes. Yoongi didn't even glance towards him. Not even a small glance. Jeongguk was right there, right in front of him. And yet it wasn't enough for Yoongi, that he was probably texting to Hoseok again.
Jeongguk was never enough.
"I-I think I might be drunk," Jeongguk said. Yoongi nodded and placed his empty can on the ground, putting his phone into his pocket.
Look at me.
"That was the aim, right? Congrats on your first hangover. It will fuck the shit out of you when you wake up."
"Yeah. Congrats."
"You can sleep here, to skip the trouble of going back. Taehyung will probably understand you have drunk by your situation. Wouldn't want to start a drama between lovers."
"Right... Uhm...Hyung?"
"Yes, kid?"
Look at me.
"I love you." Yoongi ruffled his hair and pulled blankets on him so that the Jeongguk could get some sleep.
"Yeah, Jungkookie, I love you too. Now shut your mouth and sleep, that's enough alcohol worth months to you."
But you don't love me like you love Hoseok-hyung.
"Take aspirin when you wake up, kid. I will go sleep in Hoseok's place. Call if some shit happens."
You're leaving me for him, again. At least stay. Let me have this. Just this for tonight. I swear I won't be a kid. I will be worth it, I will be better than him. Just, please-
"Night, Jeongguk."
"Goodnight, Yoongi-hyung," Jeongguk whispered.
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