Chapter Text
summer ends as fast as it began, the sweltering heat subsiding smoothly to give way to the crisp red-and-orange of autumn.
"where are you going?" soyeon asks, watching guanlin get ready.
"jihoon's house." the boy replies, as if it's the most obvious thing ever, "where else would i go?"
"yah!" soyeon hits him, "there are a lot of places you randomly take of to, lai guanlin, so don't even try!"
"what did the brat to this time?" elkie asks, striding in and pulling guanlin down to ruffle his hair, "don't be upset at him, soyeonie. he always gets like this when he's going to meet his boyfriend." she stretches out the word boyfriend teasingly, and guanlin huffs.
"i do not get like this when i go to meet hyung." he says petulantly, "what is 'this'? i didn't even do anything."
soyeon laughs, "we're just teasing, you big baby."
"you've been teasing me with jihoon hyung since before we got together." he deadpans.
"details." elkie waves him off, "i'm gonna go to the home supplies store with eunbin and see if i can find a good shelf to fit into my dorm."
"you've been going all week." soyeon says dubiously, "are you sure you'll find it today?"
"i have a good feeling." she nods, and guanlin snorts. elkie and soyeon both swat at him.
"ow, okay, i didn't say anything!"
"out loud."
"well, who cares what i say in my head?"
elkie rolls her eyes at him, grinning fondly, "anyway, do you want anything from there?"
"from the home supplies store?" guanlin regards her wearily.
"hey, that place is like a treasure chest. you never know what you might find."
"whatever."
"check if they have a nice collection of rugs." soyeon says, "i want a cute rug in front of my door."
"so you mean..." guanlin eyes her, "a doormat?"
they both smack him again, and he laughs.
"i'm kidding, chill." he picks up his bag, "i'm going to jihoon's, see you."
"can you come back around five?" soyeon asks him, "i need some extra help. i'm packing my books today, and i have a lot."
"ask seonho."
"out with samuel."
"ask oscar."
"his cousins are in town today."
"ask eunbinie."
"she agreed to help elkie."
"ask elk- oh." guanlin sighs, "fine. i'll help you." then he frowns, "wait- how come i'm your last choice? oscar is strong, so i understand, but did you really think yoo seonho would organise better than me, lai guanlin, the king of-"
"-stop whining, i just didn't want to burden you, because i figured you'd be hanging out with jihoon-"
"-i see how it is, after all these months of friendship, i see who is important to you-"
"-yah, lai guanlin-"
"-just because i'm not as strong as oscar or as pliantly obedient as-"
"wow." elkie watches him with wide eyes, "have you ever considered taking up drama?"
people have asked him this a lot, especially since he moved to seoul.
"i might think about it." he says, and he maintains his utmost dignity until soyeon and elkie dissolve into laughter. after that, he can't really help but join them.
"i'll be back at five to help you." he tells soyeon, and waves at both of them before departing to jihoon's house.
it's so familiar, the way they laugh and talk together.
he's not sure if he can handle being without them after this.
***
"it's so hot, still." jihoon fans himself with his hand, and then fans guanlin, too, "do you want the ac, babe?"
guanlin kisses him sweetly, "i'm fine, hyung. we can have more ice cream later to cool down."
jihoon chuckles, "okay." he circles his thumb on guanlin's cheek and just stares at him for some time, smiling dreamily. guanlin blinks.
"do i- what are you- why-"
"- you're so cute." jihoon rubs their noses together, "and so fucking pretty."
guanlin turns bright red, "hyung, shut up."
"why?" jihoon pouts, "don't you like it when i'm like this?"
guanlin rolls his eyes, "we've been through this- i like you however." he kisses jihoon again, "you're being especially cute today, though."
"well, don't look so pretty and i won't be extra cute."
guanlin buries his face in his hands, his cheeks pink, "hyu-ung."
jihoon removes his hands and kisses him, "guanlinie." he chides back, and guanlin giggles in delight.
"ha, see, i knew you love this kind of thing." jihoon smirks.
they stay like that for some more time, just giggling and kissing. jihoon then stretches and lies down on guanlin's lap, "how is it going back at the hostel?"
"it's going." guanlin shrugs, nuzzling into jihoon's shoulder, "i guess."
jihoon's gaze is understanding, slightly sympathetic as he presses soft kisses to the younger boy's jaw and neck, stroking his back gently, "it sucks, huh?"
guanlin nods into the crook of jihoon's neck, "i can't be without noona and jiejie."
"you can, baby." jihoon says soothingly, "i know it's hard, but you can. it must be harder for them, too, right? they have to leave all of you."
the younger boy lifts his shoulder, "i told soyeon i'd be home by 5 so i can help her pack her stuff."
they sit like that for a moment, wrapped up in each other, jihoon placing sweet pecks on the younger boy's skin.
"there's still time." jihoon ventures, "when does college start?"
"both their colleges start in a couple of weeks." guanlin mutters, "they have to have moved into the dorm by friday, though."
"and today is... sunday- oh."
"yeah."
"well... there's still six days."
guanlin completely ignores his statement, "and then next tuesday, after they leave, the two new people are coming."
"ah."
"one of them is elkie noona's friend- her hoobae from school. i think her name is yuqi. she's from china, and she used to stay with her relative, but there were some differences apparently." guanlin says, "i don't know much about it. anyway, she's a 99-liner, like you. only one more year until she has to leave for college, so elkie thought it would be a good idea for her to spend it at cube."
"well, if she's elkie's friend, she must be nice." jihoon says optimistically. guanlin nods.
"noona said she's really nice. and she speaks mandarin, so it might be easy to get comfortable with her."
"see, that'll be nice. and what about the other person? another girl?"
"the ratio has to be maintained." guanlin reminds him, "three guys and three girls. so if two girls move out, two more move in."
"well, what's her name?"
"no idea." the boy says, "ajhumma and ajhussi are still settling things with her family, so i guess we'll only get to really know when she arrives."
"next week."
"mmhmm."
"you'll be fine. you're good at making friends."
"but i don't want soyeon and elkie to leave."
jihoon reaches up to stroke guanlin's cheek with his thumb, "i know, baby."
"i'm so used to the two of them just being there and i tell them everything and they help me so much-"
jihoon regards him with a soft expression, "c'mere."
they rearrange themselves so that jihoon is the one holding guanlin. guanlin may be taller, and he's sometimes so mature for his age that it's easy to forget that he is only sixteen. but in moments like these, with his large, innocent eyes peering at jihoon sadly, the older wants to take care of him, wants to shield him from everything bad in the world. lai guanlin should never be sad, it's a rule that jihoon has. he is the sweetest, most beautiful sunshine in the universe, and jihoon wants to keep him safe forever.
guanlin sighs, "is it stupid to be so upset about it? i mean, it's not like they're leaving seoul. and i can call them whenever, and maybe we can meet up on weekends, but it's still so different. i'm used to living with them. i come home to them every evening. and now they're just not going to be there."
jihoon kisses his forehead. sometimes, it's better to just let guanlin talk, vent his feelings.
"and now i miss my sister all over again." the younger's lips turn down in a frown, "but this time i know how it feels to be the one being left behind."
"oh, guanlinie."
"like- when i left for korea, obviously i was sad and i was going to miss my family, but i was also pretty excited. because this is a new thing, you know? i had something special to look forward to. but my family just... had to watch me leave, and then go back to normal life, and i didn't think much of it then, but now-" he takes a breath, "-i realised that it's so hard. noonadeul have something new to look forward to, but i can't do it without them."
jihoon hates seeing guanlin sad. hates it more than anything. will do anything in his power to prevent it- but in this situation he has no power. this is not something he can control.
"i don't know what i'll do when you leave, too." guanlin mumbles dejectedly, "just one more year."
"hey." jihoon says, placing a finger under guanlin's chin and forcing their eyes to meet, "look at me, angel. i'm doing everything i can to get into seoul national, and it's not that far from here. it's approximately the same distance as my house is from the hostel- just in the other direction. there is no way in hell that i can survive without you, okay? whatever happens after i graduate, you'll be my first priority."
"i shouldn't be." guanlin argues, "i don't want to burden you. college is where you meet new people- we talked about this, they'll be better than me, and i'll just be stopping you from having the real college experience-"
"-exactly! we've talked about this." jihoon says fiercely, "so you know that i don't give two fucks about a college experience if it means i have to let you go. you are not a burden on me, are we clear? i love you."
guanlin gazes at him, lips parted in surprise. he probably hadn't expected jihoon to get so heated- jihoon hadn't expected it either- but he can't let guanlin think that he is anything less than perfect.
"are we clear?" jihoon repeats, voice gentler now.
guanlin nods, swallowing.
"you are my universe, and i can't go on without you." jihoon hold's guanlin's face so that the younger doesn't look away, "guanlinie."
"i love you."
"i know."
"hyung." guanlin wraps his arms around jihoon and they hold each other close, "i love you."
"i love you too, you big baby."
guanlin kisses him passionately. jihoon kisses him back, and he thinks, ah, this is love.
***
soyeon eyes guanlin suspiciously, "what have you been doing in park jihoon's house?"
guanlin shrugs, "we watched tv, played video games, had ice cream. the usual. why?"
"no reason."
"it looks like you got fucked into the next century." eunbin supplies cheerfully, and guanlin turns bright red and soyeon drops the stack of books she was holding and elkie shrieks.
"what-" guanlin says weakly, "how. how? what?"
"no, no, no-" elkie glares, "yah, kwon eunbin, he's an innocent child, i don't need those images of my dongsaeng in my head."
guanlin recovers fairly quickly, "how would you know if i'm the one fucking or if i'm the one getting fucked?"
"it's because even though you have a cool manly vibe, jihoon has a possessive streak." eunbin shrugs nonchalantly, "and he likes to take advantage of the fact that he's the hyung sometimes."
"but guanlinie is also the type that likes to take care of others." soyeon says, frowning, "right?"
"hmm, that's true."
"can we not discuss his sex life, please?" elkie groans, "listen, they could be switches, it doesn't mat-"
"ohh, that's right!" eunbin nods, satisfied, "you guys switch, right?"
"i'm going to tenth grade." guanlin deadpans, "i haven't had sex with him yet."
"really?" she looks genuinely surprised, "you look like a mess."
guanlin clears his throat awkwardly, "um, thanks?"
honestly- he probably does look a little (a lot) dishevelled. but that's what half an hour of intense making out can do to a person, and guanlin can't help the fact that jihoon's mouth is way too fucking addictive. the way jihoon had kissed him up his neck and along his jaw until guanlin caught the older boy's lips in his-
-probably best not to think about it right now.
"are you sure you didn't do anything remotely sexual?" eunbin analyses guanlin's appearance.
"how would you know what 'remotely sexual' looked like?" soyeon demands, "you're only a year older than him."
"well-"
"-and for your information, he doesn't look like he had sex. he looks like he spent the past hour making out with his boyfriend and didn't bother to straighten his hair or clothes before coming home."
"half an hour." guanlin corrects, "now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go change."
"and comb your hair."
"okay."
"and then come to my room." soyeon says, "we have a lot of packing to do."
***
"why do you even have all these?" guanlin asks in disbelief, looking at the stack of biographies that he's sure soyeon has never touched in her life.
"i had a phase!"
"but have you actually read these?"
soyeon looks slightly sheepish, "i was in tenth grade. and i wanted to seem smarter."
"seem." guanlin repeats mockingly, and soyeon glares. he grins, "it's okay, noona- dance is your thing. you got a scholarship into the dance academy because of dance, not because you know when all these people were born."
she laughs, "i suppose. besides, it was silly of me to waste money on something i knew i wouldn't use. typical tenth grade behaviour."
"hey." guanlin pouts, "i'm going to tenth grade."
"you considered learning dance to seem cooler."
"that was ages ago!"
"that was last week."
"plus." guanlin crosses his arms, "seongwoo hyung taught me some popping. look." he grins as he does the small popping movement that he had learnt, before laughing, "ah, i should take up dance, shouldn't i?"
he continues stacking the books, clearly having meant it as a joke, but soyeon looks impressed, "heyyy, that wasn't bad at all!"
"that sucked and you know it."
"no, i'm genuinely impressed." she regards him with interest, "you have a good line."
he blinks.
"a body line." she elaborates.
he blinks some more.
"just- never mind." soyeon sighs, "your body movements are good."
"i'm kind of stiff." guanlin corrects, "basketball players aren't meant to be too fluid. they need a lot of grip."
"whatever." she takes the stack from him, "your line is good." she looks up, "wait- seongwoo oppa knows popping?"
"he's the best! and daniel hyung is an awesome b-boy."
"nice."
"and jaehwan hyung is an incredible singer. he was 'fooling around' the other day, but it sounded like a fucking concert."
"these are the important things in life, lin." soyeon tells him, sounding more serious, "besides academics. i'm sure all of the oppas are strong academic performers, but the only way to get through life is to have something you're passionate about. if there is something you love to do, you'll be happier."
guanlin nods, "i'll work hard."
"i know." she smiles at him, "you better update me on what happens in school and study centre and the hostel."
"i will."
they continue to work in silence for sometime, and then guanlin says softly, "but i'm used to having noona here. where will i go now, if i have some trouble or something?"
"i'm not leaving you, lin. i'll be right here, just half an hour away."
"i'm used to having you in the room next to mine. half an hour- and we'll both be busy, even on weekends." he swallows, "i don't know what to do if you're not there."
he really doesn't. jeon soyeon has been there since the beginning. she came to the airport with ajhumma the day guanlin landed, she carried his backpack to the car and took his suitcases up to the room and said, "i'm next door. if you need anything, i'll help you."
she helped him get ready for his first day of school, helped him learn korean. she has been right next to him the whole time, his shoulder to cry on, his rock. guanlin had to leave his sister behind when he moved to korea, but jeon soyeon smiled at him, contrasting her slightly intimidating appearance, and promised tot take care of him like he was really her younger brother, and guanlin loves her for that.
"oh, no- lin, if you cry, i'm going to cry."
"i'm not crying." guanlin lies.
soyeon knows him too well by now. she keeps the books aside and hugs him tight.
"i know." she whispers, and guanlin realises that she's crying to, "i don't know how to be without you guys either. i've been in cube for four years. i don't know what i'll do if i can't come home to the rest of you."
"noona will be fine." guanlin says thickly, "because it's something cool and new for you. you'll be fine."
"i'm going to miss you."
i'm going to miss this, guanlin knows she's saying. going to miss coming home to you all and having dinner and watching movies together. i'm going to miss the way i knock on your door when we're late for school and the way you randomly barge into my room to talk about your day. i'm going to miss arguing about whose turn it is to make wednesday dinner and i'm going to miss walking to school and just hanging out-
"-i don't want you to go." and guanlin really is crying now, properly, and he hides his face in his sleeves to pretend he isn't.
it's okay, though. soyeon is crying just as much.
"you'll be fine." she says softly, "you can make it without noona-"
"-i can't-"
"-i'll be here for you, guanlin-ah, i promised, right?" she ruffles his hair, giving him a watery smile, "when you came to korea at first, didn't i promise?"
he nods.
"anything you need, call me. i don't care what time of day. i know we'll be busy, but we'll all meet up as much as we can. i have to come watch your games and you have to come watch my recitals. and we have our hostel groupchat. you're not rid of me- or elkie."
"i know." guanlin says, "it's just gonna be weird. not to have you at home."
"i know." she hugs him again, and the two of them just stay like that for a moment.
"we have a lot of packing left to do." guanlin finally sighs, looking at the boxes. he doesn't want to pack them. maybe if they stay unpacked, soyeon can't move out.
except.
except this is something she has to do, her and elkie. soon, jihoon will have to, too, and then so will guanlin. that is the way of the world. people grow up and move on, and that's okay- he knows that soyeon and elkie will never let them go.
but now, there is something new and exciting waiting for her, his wonderful soyeon noona. there are people to meet and dreams for her to achieve, and guanlin is proud of her and happy for her and he loves his noona, no matter what.
he is sad to see her and elkie go- it breaks his heart, and he might cry himself to sleep the night they move out- but that is just how it is. the sun will still rise in the mornings, and the stars will come out at night, and once or twice a month, elkie and soyeon will visit home, and every week, guanlin will call them, and he will text them everyday, and they will continue to grow and work hard at what they're doing.
"we'll be fine, guanlinie." soyeon says. she is always strong, always the one that supports him, "don't you worry."
"i know." and he smiles at her, "i know, noona."
***
"friday, huh? just three days." jihoon brushes some hair out of his face, "are you ready?"
"no."
"it must be hard." jihoon squeezes his hand, "i'm here for you, okay?"
"mm. love you."
he and jihoon are walking to the park, frisbee in hand, to meet up with daniel and jaehwan. the weather is good, and the 96-liners were free- the perfect opportunity to just chill for a couple of hours.
"jinyoung is coming home from his grandmother's place tomorrow." jihoon mentions, "we should go see him."
"sure." guanlin agrees, "also, on saturday, me and somi and soeun and daehwi are going to norebang. do you wanna come?"
"if it's just something for the four of you, i don't want to intrude."
"no, you won't be." guanlin assures him, "woojin hyung might come, too- and doyeon and yoojung noonadeul."
"are you close with them?" jihoon asks, surprised, and guanlin laughs.
"not close, exactly- but i know them pretty well because of somi and soeun."
"ahh."
"anyway, the four of us are going to the movies on sunday, so we have enough time between ourselves." guanlin beams, "i want you to come to norebang, hyung, pleaseee- it'll be fun."
"okay, okay." jihoon laughs, "i want to, anyway. i just didn't want to make you guys feel weird."
"why would we?"
"a random sunbae watching you four scream the lyrics to snsd?"
"but you're my boyfriend, so it won't be weird."
"'kay." jihoon says cutely, and guanlin laughs, kissing his knuckles.
it's nice to walk like this, happy and free, swinging their clasped hands between them.
"yah, maknae!" jaehwan calls, and the two of them turn.
"oh, we almost didn't see jihoon." daniel grins, teasing, "he was hidden behind you."
"hey." jihoon whines, petulant, "i'm not that short."
"sure you're not."
"i'm not. he's just overly tall."
guanlin pouts, "i thought you said it's nice that i'm tall."
"it is!" jihoon says hurriedly, "it's extremely nice- you would look extremely nice even if you weren't tall- because- you know-"
"-because?" jaehwan ebbs him on.
"he's just. ugh." jihoon turns red and buries his face in his hands, "shut the fuck up, everyone."
"nobody said anything!"
"well, keep it like that."
"hyungie, don't be rude." guanlin cajoles, pressing a sweet kiss to jihoon's cheek, "let's go play frisbee."
of course, this is more than enough to restore the smile to jihoon's face, and daniel and jaehwan snort with laughter.
"let's go then." daniel slings an arm around guanlin, and jaehwan does the same to jihoon, and they head towards the field to play.
***
"oh, soyeon-ssi is moving out?" jaehwan asks, surprised, "i thought it was just elkie-ssi."
"they're the same age." guanlin says miserably, "they're going to college."
"ah." daniel says, "dorm life is nice, though. they'll have fun."
guanlin glares, "what about me? i'll be so lost without them!"
"but there are going to be two new girls." jaehwan says consolingly, "that might be fun."
"what if they're bitches?"
"lai guanlin!" daniel and jihoon chorus disapprovingly, while jaehwan hides his laughter behind a (fake) serious cough.
"what?" guanlin whines, "i'm not saying they are or they will be- i'm just saying what if. do you know how many possibilities there are?"
"the first one in your mind should not be that." daniel says.
"fine. what if they are less-than-pleasant? what if they hate me? what if they make fun of my korean?"
"baby, you said yuqi-ssi is from china." jihoon brushes some hair out of his face, "why would she- or anyone- make fun of your impeccable, fluent korean that is definitely better than mine?"
guanlin giggles at this.
"fuck, that was cute." jaehwan says admiringly, "jihoon, you're smooth."
jihoon grins, "i mean- it wasn't easy to get this one."
"you are the one who made it difficult. park jihoon-"
"-wah, is guanlin using banmal on you now?"
"he can use whatever he wants." jihoon waves it off, "it's cute."
daniel smiles, "he is cute- holy fuck, don't glare at me like that, jihoon. i'm just saying. like, as a hyung to a dongsaeng. you're cute, too, when you don't look at me like you want to kill me."
jihoon stick his nose in the air, "find your own people to call cute."
jaehwan smirks, coughs out something that sounds similar to 'ong seongwoo'.
guanlin and jihoon still, looking at each other in shock.
"seongwoo hyung?" guanlin repeats in awe, "are you serious?"
"no, he's not serious." daniel shoves jaehwan, "he just wants to cause trouble."
"i do not!"
"that would work so well!" jihoon says delightedly, "seongniel? danong? ongniel?"
"ongniel." guanlin and jihoon high-five.
"shut up." daniel groans, "jaehwanie is just being a little shit. it's nothing like that."
"sureee." guanlin grins, "whatever you say."
"yah, lai guanlin-"
"jihoonie hyung, wouldn't it be fun to get the two of them toge-"
"-don't you dare finish that sentence, you brat."
"excuse me." jihoon huffs, "only i am allowed to call him that. you shush, hyung."
"how rude."
it's the same as usual- light and fun and easy. guanlin giggles as jihoon kisses his cheek and grabs the frisbee as they get up for another round.
the little disc flies through the air, and guanlin smiles.
***
"shall we cook together tonight?" ajhumma asks over lunch, "something special."
guanlin swallows. turns away. out of the corner of his eyes, he can see seonho doing the same.
"that'll be fun." ajhussi says encouragingly, clearly trying to cheer them up, "we love doing that, don't we?"
eunbin nods mutely.
"what would you girls like to eat?" ajhumma asks soyeon and elkie.
elkie shrugs, trying to smile, "i'm fine with anything."
"me, too." soyeon echoes.
they'd spent the past week talking and laughing and living as usual, blatantly ignoring the fact that their time was almost up.
now, though-
now, when elkie's and soyeon's rooms are empty, and almost all the boxes had been moved into their dorms, and there is only one night left-
-now it hurts.
"it's our last dinner together." ajhussi murmurs, "let's make some dish you girls love."
there is a brief discussion, and it's decided that they will have black bean noodles. it's always fun to make that together, with seonho boiling too much water and oscar begging guanlin to help him make soup for an appetiser, and soyeon convincing eunbin to wear safety goggles while cutting onions, and elkie taking pictures for laughs.
guanlin would like to do it one last time.
after lunch, ajhumma and ajhussi go to the grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner. the six of them retire to the living room to watch a movie.
"don't forget to take the duffel bag tomorrow." elkie reminds soyeon, voice rough, "it has all your dance clothes."
"yeah. don't forget to take that box in your cupboard. it has all your magazines."
"don't forget to take your brains." seonho says sagely, "you might need those in college."
the sadness in the air lessens a little, and they all laugh.
"what movie should we watch?" oscar asks, still chuckling, "the chaser?"
"yes!" guanlin says, at the same time eunbin says, "no way."
"why not?"
"we watch that every week!"
"it's the best, that's why-"
"-i want to watch the chaser." elkie decides. guanlin cheers, and eunbin glares at the betrayal, but they all know that she is the one who will be the most into it by the climax of the movie.
"will you still come over sometimes?" seonho asks, shifting so that he can lie on guanlin's stomach, "to watch movies with us when you're not busy?"
"obviously." soyeon ruffles seonho's hair, "just like how you'll come to my dance recitals. and elkie's- whatever she does in college. mandarin literature."
"what events do they hold for that?"
"i'll have you know that i'm planning to join a gymnastics team." elkie says haughtily, "so there are things that i do that you will come and watch. thank you very much."
"first get accepted." oscar snorts, "and then talk."
elkie reaches over to whack him, and he groans in pain.
"what time is it?" guanlin asks, stretching.
"one."
"what time will we start making dinner?"
"six."
"and what time will the movie finish if we start now?"
"three."
"can i ask jihoon to hang out for a couple of hours before dinner?"
"sure." soyeon smiles, "ask him to come over if you'd like."
"don't." oscar makes a disgusted face, "last time that happened, i just had to watch them flirt. that's it. guanlinie was making ramyeon and jihoon was just flirting with him."
"oh, i remember this." eunbin giggles, "it was cute. i've never seen guanlin turn so red."
"jihoon is smooth." seonho looks impressed, "i'm serious- he knows exactly what to say."
"shut up." guanlin whines petulantly, taking out his phone, "never mind, we'll go to the park or something. i'll never hear the end of it if he comes over."
his friends laugh and jihoon agrees to meet him at the ice cream place and the movie starts-
-such a normal, usual thing.
guanlin is happy like this, but he knows that things have to change eventually.
he closes his eyes, burns the image into his head, burns the feeling into his heart, and promises to hold onto it forever.
***
"messy baby." jihoon teases, using a napkin to wipe some ice cream from the corner of guanlin's mouth.
guanlin turns bright red, but notices that there's ice cream on jihoon's fingers.
he smirks, "messy hyung." he retorts, taking jihoon's fingers into his mouth and sucking.
jihoon can feel his heart stop.
he's sure he's never gone so red in his life. and it's not just red- everything is hot. and- guanlin has always been beautiful, but why did he look so sinfully gorgeous with his pretty pink lips wrapped around jihoon's fingers?
"guanlin." jihoon breathes when he feels guanlin's tongue lick his fingers clean.
"mm?" guanlin's eyes widen innocently, locking with jihoon's and fuck- jihoon is going to get hard any minute, and that is definitely, one-hundred-percent a huge problem.
and then jihoon realizes- guanlin probably did this to tease him, sure, but he has no idea the effect it has on jihoon. the younger probably has no idea that not many people look so good with things in their mouth, but guanlin does, and-
-and he's underage. he might be jihoon's boyfriend, be jihoon is still sexualizing a minor, which is an offensive crime.
guanlin pulls of with a pop sound that has jihoon's head spinning, "there." he says cheerfully, "ice cream's gone!" and fuck, he really is an innocent little flower, and jihoon is disgusting for the thoughts that crossed his mind.
"um, i'm gonna-" jihoon has a problem down there now, wonderful, "-bathroom."
"okay." guanlin's eyes narrow suspiciously. he always knows what jihoon is thinking, and in this situation, that idea makes the older want to die.
jihoon doesn't jerk himself off in the bathroom. he wants to- he could, just thinking of guanlin sucking on his fingers so prettily, but-
-but it's not right.
or maybe it shouldn't matter. guanlin's his boyfriend.
a minor.
well, jihoon's a minor too.
not for long.
and guanlin is gorgeous.
but still a minor.
the heat dies down eventually. jihoon steadies himself and washes his face and heads back to guanlin, who sizes him up and rolls his eyes.
"we should never eat popsicles together, hyung. this is ridiculous."
jihoon turns beet red, "what?!" he splutters, and guanlin snorts.
"do you think you were being subtle? you went red and then ran off with a hard-on."
"fuck." jihoon slams his head on the table, "i'm so fucking sorry, babe, i know, you must feel so uncomfo-"
"-i'm fine, hyung." the younger's voice is sharp, "i feel fine. i'd be a bit worried if you felt no sexual attraction towards me at all."
"i am sexualizing a minor, it's a crime-"
"-i love you." guanlin's smile is sweet and soft as he intertwines their fingers, "don't forget that, jihoon hyung."
jihoon blinks. blushes.
"i love you, too."
"wait a little longer, okay? and then you can do whatever you want to me."
"you fucking brat." jihoon hisses, cheeks turning redder and lewd thoughts taking over his mind once more.
guanlin grins, pleased, "let's go for a walk, hyung. i have to be home by 6."
"oh?"
"we're making black bean noodles tonight, the eight of us." the younger's smile dims a little, "it's noona and jiejie's last dinner with us."
"ohhh." jihoon lets out a breath, "oh, guanlinie."
"mm." guanlin shrugs, "it's fine. i mean, okay, no, it's not. but it will be fine."
"it will be." jihoon assures him, a kiss on his knuckle, "you'll all be fine."
guanlin stares at jihoon for a moment and then nods, "i feel better when i have you, anyway, hyung."
jihoon beams, squeezing his hand, "so do i."
it's a wonderful thing, to be young and in love.
jihoon leans across the table and guanlin meets him halfway in a kiss, and the two of them are in their own world.
***
"did you have fun with jihoon?" eunbin asks, as the two of them set the ingredients up on the counter-top.
"yeah." guanlin's smile is bright, as it always is when he talks about his boyfriend.
"probably just had se-"
"-we did not." guanlin huffs, before eunbin could finish her sentence, "he won't do anything to me." a small pout, "like, anything."
"besides kiss you stupid."
guanlin giggles, "besides that."
"well, it's good of him to wait until you're both adults."
"i know." the younger says dreamily, "hyung is so sweet always."
"shut the fuck up and cut these vegetables."
"aww, is guanlinie being cute about jihoon again?" elkie squeals, pushing a cutting board towards them, "damn, i'm gonna miss jihoon."
"same." soyeon snorts, "all the time he romantically throws pebbles at guanlinie's window."
"and then they make out on the driveway before he can even come inside."
"that never happens!" guanlin whines, face red.
"it happens." oscar and seonho chorus.
"oh, leave him alone." ajhussi chuckles, "it's a wonderful thing to be young and in love."
"not wonderful for us singles." oscar mutters, albeit good-naturedly.
"hyung can get a girlfriend easily." seonho says with confidence, "you're so handsome and cool and smart and nice."
"hey." guanlin frowns, "you never say that to me."
"because you're not."
"you fucktard."
"lai guanlin!" ajhumma and ajhussi scold in unison, and everyone else bursts out laughing.
it's like this, with the eight of them cutting the vegetables and boiling water and ajhumma fussing over the seasoning. it's the way that they talk and laugh and shout together that guanlin will miss so badly, the way he misses his family every night before he goes to bed.
it's when seonho spills water trying to fill the glasses and soyeon rolls her eyes and elkie takes over, it's when soyeon and him race each other to see who can finish their task faster, it's when he forgets a word in korean and elkie speaks to him in mandarin- these moments flash in front of his eyes, reminding him of the past year, reminding him of every moment in which he thought, i can't live without them.
soyeon and elkie, elkie and soyeon, noona and jiejie, the two people who looked after him the most when he was fresh from taipei, clueless and confused, nervous but eager to start something new.
he feels it heavier now, deeper in his chest- tomorrow they will not be here with him. tomorrow they will not be in this room, in this house.
tomorrow night, they will set the table for six instead of eight.
"don't."
he looks up to see elkie staring at him with an understanding look in her eyes.
"i didn't do anything." guanlin defends himself weakly, but he knows elkie sees right through him, as always.
"we still have time." she brushes some hair out of his eyes, "maybe it's just a few hours, but it's still time. come help me set the table."
the dinner is delicious, and they laugh and talk while they eat, as usual.
and for a glorious hour, everything is so normal- he can almost forget that this is the last time. it is the same as always, the same as every day, with seonho and guanlin arguing and eunbin taking sides and oscar scoffing and elkie and soyeon taking the opportunity to snag extra food. ajhumma and ajhussi sigh fondly and make sure everyone has eaten well, and it's is fine, it's their normal every day life, but then, all too soon, it's over.
there is no food left, and they have sat there for too long, and ajhussi smiles sadly and tells them it's time to clear the table.
they watch a movie afterwards, the eight of them. they watch the chaser, with mandarin subtitles, just as they always do.
"our guanlinie doesn't need those anymore, does he?" soyeon asks into the darkness, smile in her voice, "he knows the movie by heart."
"subtitles?" guanlin chuckles softly, "not for this movie- but it's comforting to have them."
"he's so good now, his korean." ajhumma praises.
"he grew up a lot." elkie agrees, ruffling his hair, "when we first met you barely spoke in korean to me. ah, i'm proud of you, seriously."
guanlin doesn't cry- but his heart clenches, and soyeon squeezes his elbow like she just knows.
she does.
they fall asleep like that, sharing a couple of sofas and a bunch of cushions, making sure ajhumma and ajhussi get the couch. they fall asleep with the movie running in the background, just as they have done so often before.
just like this, the eight of them together for the last time.