Chapter Text
it's okay to be nervous.
this is the first thought that lai guanlin has as he blinks up at the gigantic structure which is his new school. the building is sturdy and huge and slightly intimidating, the kind of place he would definitely get lost in.
he breathes in deep and tries not to think of the one million hallways and five million classrooms waiting for him, tries not to think of all the ways in which this could possibly go wrong.
okay, so, the building is big, he thinks. but the world is bigger, and he will have to face that someday, too.
it's just a school. things could go wrong- but things could go right, too. this could change everything.
the world is bigger and scarier, guanlin tells himself, and if i want to survive there and accomplish great things, i should be able to survive school.
so he hitches his bag up a little and holds his head higher.
he is ready to take it on.
***
as he walks up the stairs to the main entrance, he wonders if maybe he was being a bit overdramatic about everything.
after all, it's just high school. nearly every person in the whole world experiences the typical first-day-of-high-school anxiety.
well, the voice in guanlin's head says, this is anxiety because you're joining a new school in a new country half way through the school year.
he sees the wing which is labelled 'freshmen'. he's glad that all the signs in this school seem to be written in both hangul and in english. guanlin is good at english- in his old middle school in taiwan, he'd represented the class in a lot of english oration competitions, and he'd won quite a few trophies.
he wonders if there are any english oration competitions in this school. he hopes there are. he doesn't want to look stupid just because he's not yet completely fluent in korean.
he'd moved to korea just a couple of weeks ago, and he'd been studying it for about one month back in taipei. he thought he'd had a significant grasp on the language, but he soon realized that online lessons were nothing like the real thing.
the actual koreans spoke much faster than the korean-speakers in his online guides (obviously), and though was in seoul, he'd met so many people with different dialects- busan, daegu, jeju- he couldn't even one-hundred-percent comprehend seoul dialect.
it took him a while to convince his mother that he could attend a regular korean high school. however, just for her reassurance, she'd found this one, where most of the teachers were fluent in english as well, and they used it as their second language.
at times like now, guanlin is exceptionally grateful. because he's quite sure that he's lost, and the only thing that's keeping him from dying are the little english letters on the school sign-boards.
he's squinting at it, trying to find out where he is on the map, when he hears a voice from behind him.
"hey, who are you?"
guanlin whips around immediately, grabbing hold of the signboard so that it doesn't fall over.
in front of him stands a girl. she's tall- nearly as tall as him, which is pretty rare, since he's nearly six feet.
she's very pretty, too, with almond eyes and perfect posture. she smiles at him, making him feel a bit more comfortable.
"sorry, that must have sounded a bit rude. it's just.... i've never seen you here before?" she pauses, regarding him, waiting for some response. when she gets none, she continues, "i'm the prefect, and i'm in charge of patrolling the freshman wing in the mornings."
guanlin takes a second to process her words, stumblin a little in his mind at 'prefect'.
"pre...fect?" he repeats, unsure.
she nods, "like... a moniter, kind of. i'm in my third year, so there's one boy prefect and one girl. and then a head girl and boy from the senior grade."
"oh." he bows, "nice to meet you. i'm lai guanlin, a new student. please take care of me."
the girl raises her eyebrows, "lai guanlin? where are you from?"
"uh, taipei."
the girl positively lights up, "taipei? are you serious?"
guanlin registers with a small amount of shock that she's talking in mandarin- the exact taiwanese mandarin that he's used to.
"yes." he replies, also in mandarin, "are you- where did you... your korean is really good, i thought you were..."
she laughs, "i'm from taiwan, but i moved here when i was really young." she explains, "i'm chou tzuyu."
"ah."
"where did you say you were going? which homeroom are you? i'll show you the way, if you'd like."
it's with a relieved sigh and a grateful smile that guanlin hands her his room allocation paper, and she leads him to his homeroom, pointing out all the classes that come along the way. he makes a mental note of every little landmark- he doesn't want to get lost again.
when they finally reach his classroom, guanlin bows and thanks tzuyu profusely. she waves it off with a kind gesture.
"it's okay- i know it's a little hard for you. it was hard when i moved, too. but it isn't easy to get into this school, so i'm sure you're a bright kid. you'll pick up quickly."
"thanks."
"no problem." she waves, "i'll support you from here. taipei buddies, right?"
he feels gratified that she's treating him like a friend already, "no one else from this school is from taipei?"
"there are a couple of kids from thailand, and from japan and hong kong, too." tzuyu tells him, "but you're the first guy from taiwan. when did you move here?"
"two weeks ago."
her eyebrows shoot up, "but your korean is so good for someone who's recently moved!" she gives him a friendly pat, "seriously, don't worry about it. i'm sure you'll be fine. if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask."
"thank you, sunbaenim, really." guanlin bows again.
"it's fine- quick, your class must have started already."
he gulps.
tzuyu grins, 'you'll be fine- hwaiting!"
he weakly makes the 'hwaiting' symbol back to her, and then she waves and turns around and disappears at the end of the corridor. guanlin is pretty sure that if he doesn't open the door now, he'll just keep standing outside forever, until the class is dismissed and everyone sees him standing there like an idiot.
pabo. he tells himself, pabo is idiot in korean.
feeling slightly more confident in his abilities, he knocks twice.
***
"this is lai guanlin." the teacher introduces, smiling, "he's here a little late, but he'll be joining us from now onwards. we're very happy to have you, guanlin-ssi."
he bows in front of the class.
"well." the teacher continues encouragingly, "why don't you introduce yourself?"
the thing is, he'd rather not talk much. because even though he's pretty okay at korean, he's obviously nowhere near as fluent as a native speaker. he can actually understand korean really well- he sometimes struggles with vocabulary, but he can understand quite clearly when someone speaks to him. it's only the speaking itself that he isn't too keen on yet. he doesn't want to stumble over his words or mispronounce something on his first day, in front of so many new classmates.
the teacher continues to eye him, so he sighs and bows again.
"hello, everyone. i'm lai guanlin from taipei. please take care of me."
everyone stands up and bows politely back at him. he feels relieved at his lack of grammatical errors.
"you can sit there, next to daewhi." she points out a boy in the second row, "daehwi-ssi, please stand up."
daewhi is shorter than guanlin by half a head (most people are shorter than guanlin). he has a bright smile, and pats the seat next to him welcomingly.
"lee daewhi lived in america for a few years." the teacher tells him, "so he's very good at english. your schedules are mostly the same, so if you need anything, he can help you."
guanlin flops down on the seat next to daehwi, silently thanking him for knowing english.
"taipei, huh?" daehwi asks with interest, "when did you move to korea?"
"um, two weeks ago."
"yeah?" he looks highly impressed , "your korean is really good! did you understand everything our teacher said?"
guanlin nods, "i'm okay with understanding, except for some vocab. it's just that i sometimes struggle with speaking." he pauses, "sometimes as in a lot."
daehwi laughs, "that's okay. i can imagine it's tough- i lived in japan for a couple of years, too, and when i joined, i didn't know anything."
"i hope i can manage."
"i'm sure you can. i'll help you- if you ever need help, let me know. i'll translate for you. i take it you're good at english."
he nods again.
"great! we'll have fun, then. i'll introduce you to some of my other friends during lunch."
guanlin breathes out and then smiles- his first true smile all day. "that'll be nice. thanks."
daehwi smiles back.
***
most of his new homeroom classmates seem really nice.
some girls giggle a lot, though. they giggled at him all throughout their homeroom period. he feels slightly self-conscious as he leans towards daehwi and asks, "is there something on my face? do i look weird?"
"what?" the boy blinks back, confused, "what are you talking about?"
"they keep laughing at me." he side eyes the group of giggling girls. daehwi snorts.
"they're not laughing a you. it isn't everyday a handsome guy walks into the class and we find out he'll be joining us. it's probably, like, their dream, straight from an anime."
"um." guanlin isn't so sure he agrees with this, "i'm not that handsome, though."
daehwi gives him a once-over, "no, you're definitely handsome. you're all tall and fair-skinned and you've got this cool and charming aura about you. you're just. hansdome."
"oh. well." guanlin nervously pats his hair, "thanks, i guess."
daehwi chuckles, "there's always one guy like that in each grade- we didnt have one before, but from the way they're giggling, that might change."
"hm."
"in tenth grade, it's bae jinyoung. he's got the small face and boyish charms that all the girls like." daehwi continues cheerfully, "he's really nice, too- we're friends. i'll introduce you sometime. me and him go to the same after-school study centre. oh, and the eleventh grade's resident visual is park jihoon, he and woojin hyung come to the study centre, too. and in-"
daehwi continues to chatter on happily, and guanlin finds that he doesn't mind at all. he rather likes the feeling of daehwi's company, the warmth emitted by the boy. he feels more comfortable and at ease. he understand the korean, too, which makes him feel more confident. everytime daehwi uses a word that sounds difficult, he follows up with the english translation immediately. guanlin appreciates it.
the teacher motions for silence and then tells them that they can quietly disperse to their classes. daehwi tugs guanlin out of his seat.
"follow me, we have chemistry. which is your locker? we'll find it first."
"um, okay." guanlin tries to ignore the girls who are giggling quite furiously now. they start whispering in hushed voices as he draws closer to the door. another girl, who is standing with a different group, stacking up a couple of books on her table, turns around in time to witness the scene. she gives him a sympatheric smile and a jerk of her head, as if saying i know it sucks, but leave it be.
guanlin smiles back.
"um, guanlin-ssi?" one of the giggling girls says. the rest of the group shoves her forward, squealing, "welcome to our school."
"ah, thank you." he replies.
"if you need anything, you can always ask us." she smirks, winks a little like he should know what she means.
he nods slowly, "uh....sure. thanks."
daehwi snorts and tugs him out of the classroom, "see?" he grins, "i told you. you're definitely the new visual. just wait until the other homerooms hear about it, they'll be gawking at you like you're a zoo animal." he chances a glance at guanlin's face and quickly changes his words, "not all the time, though! just today! because, you know, it's your first day. just..." he seems to give up, "let's get to your locker."
chemistry is quite boring- guanlin's never liked chemistry, but he focuses as best he can. english class is far better. besides daehwi, he's one of the best students in his class. the teacher had been supremely impressed by his grammar and pronounciation.
the only class he hadn't been quite good at was korean literature. he understood whatever the teacher was saying, but the literature that they were reading now was extremely formal, and contained a lot of dialect. guanlin was clear in all the in-betweens- the questions the teachers posed in the middle, and the explanations she gave- but when it came to the actual text, he was completely lost.
the teacher assured him that it wasn't a big deal- he wasn't expected to learn everything so soon, and he was already doing quite well, but it still upset him a bit.
during lunch, daehwi drags guanlin to a bench outside, overlooking the school field. it's nice.
"it's our lunch place on tuesdays." daehwi explains.
guanlin frowns, "why only tuesdays?"
"well, the other days i sit in the cafeteria with some other friends, but tuesday is the only day that somi and i have the same lunch period, so we eat together."
"somi?"
"jeon somi- my best friend. i've known her since i was in play-school."
"ah, a childhood friend." guanlin nods, "is she also in ninth?"
"she's in our homeroom." daehwi grins, "but i doubt you would have seen her, with so many new things to focus on."
as if on cue, a voice calls out, "daehwi-ah!" and a petite girl with a bouncy brownish ponytail comes running up, lunch tray in hand.
"ooh, you brought guanlin!" she beams at him, "guanlin-ssi, i'm somi, nice to meet you properly! let's take care of each other."
guanlin recognizes her instantly. she's the girl from that morning who hadn't giggled wildly along with the rest of the girls, and had instead offered him a friendly smile. he's slightly relieved that somi doesn't seem to be the giggly type.
"yeah, nice to meet you." guanlin says sincerely.
"somi's also amazing at english. she's part canadian. cool, right?" daehwi says. somi nods.
"so you can express whatever you like in english or korean. i think your korean's pretty good."
"oh." guanlin shrugs, "it's okay. i'm really struggling in korean lierature, though."
"ah, must be hard. it's hard for some of us." somi says sympathetically, "it's only one subject though."
"but it's really important." guanlin insists, "so what if i'm foregin? i can't say i studied in a korean high school but failed korean literature!" he sighs, "plus, it'll look terrible on my report card. it'll spoil all my plans."
daehwi quirks an eyebrow, "what plans?"
"uh.." guanlin gestures vaguely, "plans."
"you want to get into seoul national uni, don't you?" somi says, not even batting an eyelid, "is that why you came to korea?"
guanlin gapes, "how did you-"
"it's hard to get into that university." somi continues, "i think you made a good choice, coming here to do high school. it'll increase your chance by a lot more than if you were still in taiwan."
"but how-"
"guanlin-ah, you know that this school is really prestigous, right? our high school is a big deal."
"i know, but-"
"-people come here when they want to make a name for themselves. like, a good portfolio to get them into the top three seoul universities." daehwi explains, "people who study here either want to go to seoul national, korea uni or yonsei."
guanlin raises an eyebrow, "what about you?"
"same. seoul national." daehwi says, "somi wants to go to yonsei, though."
"that's how we knew you were intelligent." somi adds, "our school hardly takes people, let alone mid-year."
"oh." guanlin doesn't know what to say, "but... if i don't do well in korean literature, i'm kind of screwed."
this makes the two of them laugh.
"don't worry, guanlin." somi says, "we'll figure something out for you. eat lunch first."
guanlin toys with his rice, "if so many people are fighting for a spot in the same colleges, what will make us stick out?"
"ah, it's a thing that a lot of people don't know." daehwi says, "but my mom studied in korea university. she told me many things. first, though people here study like machines, they only reach 80s or 90-95 in their marks. because the portions are so voluminous. you need to find out your study method and go about it well." he hold up a second finger, "number two, you need to have some extra curricular."
guanlin blinks.
"like, an extra credit activity or something, to show that you have more to offer than just grades." somi says, "a lot of people focus so hard on their studies that they give the extra cred up. a shame, really."
"and lastly, do some community service." daehwi finishes, "it'll help you portfolio look good, but more importantly, it's really rewarding work."
"hm." guanlin says thoughtfully, "and then we have to ace the entrance exams."
"right, that too." daehwi says, "but it's like you asked- if ten people score 100 %, what will make the university choose you out of them all?"
guanlin nods slowly, "i have a lot to do."
"don't worry, guanlin!" somi slings an arm across his shoulder, "we'll work hard together!"
"i don't know where to start." he's a bit dazed from the list daehwi's just given him.
daehwi laughs, "it'll be fine, we'll help you. let's all try our best."
guanlin likes the sound of that. he nods, and laughs when the other two cheer.
***
one of somi's closest friends is a sweet girl names kang soeun from another homeroom class.
for some reason, though, somi called her rina.
"rina?" guanlin repeats, confused, "why rina? isn't your name soeun?"
"well, she calls me ennik sometimes, because that's my english name." somi explains, "so i started calling her rina, just like that."
"oh." he still doesn't get it, but he nods along.
"i was going to tell you that your korean is good." soeun says, grinning, "but i suppose you're tired of hearing that."
"yup."
"how is korean literature, though? isn't it a bit tough? somi mentioned that you weren't too keen on it."
guanlin nods, "i'm really worried about it."
"he wants to go to seoul national." somi pipes up, "soeun wants to go to yonsei, like me."
"there are so many people in this school, and all three of the top universities are so strict in acceptance, though." guanlin says, "does everyone get in?"
"hell no." soeun laughs, "that's why it's so important to work hard."
"from each graduating class- assuming there are...how many do we have in our whole grade-" somi calculates quickly, "three homerooms of thirty students. so ninety."
"perfect- if thirty students apply for each college, approximately...4 people will get into each college? so from our whole grade, only twelve will go to the top three." soeun tells him.
guanlin gapes, "are you serious?"
"yup."
"how- how-" guanlin groans, "that's it, i came all the way from taipei to fail the rest of my life, i am so screwed-"
"don't be so negative." somi scolds, "those who don't go to the top three still go to quite well-known colleges. there's a second tier of unversities which are pretty prestigoustigous."
"so, i'm guessing about eight students from each class will get into those-" soeun says thoughtfully.
guanlin frowns, "how do you know all of this?"
"it's an estimation from our previous graduating classes." somi says, "we take this very seriously."
"duh. so do i." guanlin rolls his eyes, "why do you think i came here, then?"
"if you're having trouble with korean literature and script, guanlinie," somi says slowly, "i think-" she turns to soeun, "-if he went with daehwi... it would be a good idea?"
"ah, like- like bae jinyoung and park woojin....?"
"mmhmm... park jihoon also goes there, i think.... it would help him, right? i heard that an oppa there is fluent in english. and this style has helped us a lot."
soeun's eyes light up, "it's a good idea."
"um, excuse me." guanlin says, annoyed, "care to tell me what you're talking about? i can understand korean, you know."
"i know." rina says, "ok, listen, lin-ah- can i call you that, guanlin is really long- go to daehwi and tell him that soeun and somi advised you to ask him about the centre."
"the centre?" guanlin echoes.
"he'll know." somi waves him off, "if he somehow doesn't, say it's to learn better korean script and literature. and you can accompany him after school." she gazes at soeun again, "i think it will help for sure."
"me too."
guanlin rolls his eyes again. somi catches it and whacks him lightly on the shoulder.
soeun laughs, and guanlin sighs, feigning annoyance, even though he's just trying not to smile.
***
as it turns out, daehwi knows exactly what soeun and somi are talking about.
he positively lights up when guanlin mentions it, "i was thinking that!"
"thinking what?" guanlin demands, frustrated, "you keep saying that, but what the hell-"
"i've been thinking about it ever since you said you found korean lit hard!" daehwi bounces up and down, "this is great, guanlin-ah! so you'll come?"
"um, i-"
"-it's a lot of fun, i promise, and you have no idea how much it'll help."
"but-"
"-no, no, listen, it's not difficult, everyone-"
"but-"
"-no, no, listen, it's not difficult, everyone is really nice." his eyes widen, "but there is a fee. it's not expensive, though. do you have money?"
"for what? i don't even-"
"-want to come and check out the place tomorr-"
"WHAT PLACE?!" guanlin bellows, and daehwi shuts up, staring with wide eyes.
"daehwi, listen, i don't even know what you're talking about."
"right, right." daehwi seems to realize this, "shoot."
"mmhmm."
"i'm so sorry-"
guanlin groans, frustrated, "it's fine. but can you at least tell me now?"
"huh? oh, yeah." daehwi says, "so, most of our school goes to after-school tutoring centres to learn their lessons well. but somi and i trid it out for a month, and it didn't really work for us. so we started going to dtudy centres."
"um." guanlin blinks, "isn't that the same thing?"
"nah, i thought so, too, at first. but it's really, really different." daehwi leans back, like he's ready to give guanlin a long explanation, "so basically, at tutions, a teacher just teaches you the whole lesson, the way they do in school. a study centre is different. there, they help you when you get stuck, teach you concepts when you don't understand, and most importantly- they teach you how to be independant about studying."
guanlin raises an eyebrow.
"like, think of it this way." daehwi says, "if you made a habit of going to a tutoring centre, what would you do in college when you need to learn all sorts of material on your own?"
"huh. i... don't know."
"exactly." daehwi continues, "in a study centre, it's like.... people guide you. they give you more material to work with. i used to hate physics, but after going there, i started not minding it much. it's a really warm place. you can finish all your homework there, study for tests, anything you want, and you'll get help."
"sounds pretty nice."
"it is." daehwi smiles, "there are a few of those around seoul, but not many people opt for that over tutoring centres."
guanlin frowns, 'why not?"
"i mean, think about it, lin-ah." daehwi bites his lip, "tutoring centres give you exactly what you need. bring the spoon to your mouth. the grades, everything you need. but," he smiles "but by the end of it, you won't really know much, unless you're a really sincere leanrer who already enjoys the subjects. if you go to a study centre and work as hard as you can there, i assure you, you will not only get the grades, but you'll get the knowledge, and it'll just really help you."
"i'll get grades for sure, though?"
"if you try." daehwi shrugs, "in tutoring centres, whether you try or not, it's hammered into you. in study centres, if you try, you'll not only get grades- maybe you'll even begin to enjoy korean literature. maybe you'll learn how to study it by yourself when you need to. maybe you'll be able to teach korean to a foreigner some day, if you wanted to. if you try hard enough."
"a guide." guanlin repeats.
daehwi nods, "it's not ideal for those who are...absolutely fixated on marks. but if you are a hard worker, and if you are sincere, and if you actually want to know something new.... it'll work for you. what do you think?"
"it sounds pretty cool." guanlin admits, "but what if i'm not a hard worker?"
this makes daehwi laugh, "ah, lai guanlin, you're funny. i mean, you moved all the way here from taipei. you're betting your whole future on this. you better be a hard worker. i don't think you have a choice."
guanlin bites the inside of his cheek. daehwi's eyes soften.
"you'll come with me tomorrow? to check it out?"
"yeah." guanlin looks up, suddenly determined, "yeah, i will."
daehwi smiles at him and slings an arm around his shoulder.
"you came here from taiwan, guanlin- let's make sure your life in korea is worth it."
it will be, guanlin thinks.
he gave up the place he'd grown up in. he left his friends and family and came to korea to pursue his dreams. so of course he will do his best. of course he will work hard. people told him, when he was leaving taiwan, that this was crazy, that he was making a terrible mistake.
it will be worth it, he promises himself.
or maybe he says it out loud, because daehwi nods along with him and tightens his grip on guanlin's shoulder, "don't worry, guanlin. it's a bit scary, but we'll support each other."
and in that moment, guanlin smiles, because he is excited to take it on.