Archive of Our Own

Who knows how long everyone had been gone? A sound similar to rummaging through pots and pans above brought Strong Bad out of his restful couch slumber. After lifting his head in response to the noise, he put it back down and closed his eyes. He turned over, facing the back cushions, in an attempt to block out the noise and fall back to sleep.

However, that plan failed when what sounded like a tin revolution ruined any chance of that happening. Groaning, he carried himself up the stairs to find an unwelcome sight.

“Hey SB, guess who broke into your house again.” Homestar greeted behind the counter.

“Homestar-”

“Ding! the answer is Homestar.” He said, looking as jovial as ever.

“Homestar, why’d you break into my house?”

“Marzi-thing is practicing for one of those…”, Homestar trailed off, forgetting a word, or several, if his pronunciation of “Marzipan” is anything to go by, “concert things, and I’m making some food.”

“And you just had to break into my house?”, Strong Bad repeated, unamused by his careless intruder.

“Yeah, I always do that sometimes. It’s a lot easier than going through all that bands stuff to get to the kitchen.” He said as he searched through the food stuffs.

Strong Bad gave him a look of annoyance, but he let him continue what he was doing. It was too early to kick anyone out of the house for now, or least his groggy-ness made him feel like it was. What time was it? Out the window, it didn’t look like early morning, but that doesn’t give away much for an exact answer. It could be anywhere between 8am to some unspecified time after that.

Looking down at the steadily growing counter pile, Strong Bad relented, “Make me one of those whatever you’re making.”

“Tuna-mac.” Homestar corrected.

Strong Bad took a look at the “tuna”, then scrunched up his face, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s tuna.”

“Oh, then just mac.”, Homestar said as he tossed the gross looking food in the fridge for another day, “Kinda plain, but you don’t got much in here.” Strong Bad frowned at the perceived culinary insult.

“There should be ketchup in there somewhere.”
Homestar searched with determination for the ketchup, letting out a small ‘woo!’ when he found it, and held up the bottle, shaking it a little.

Knowing that Strong Mad and The Cheat were at Marzipan’s, Strong Bad checked if Strong Sad, or anyone else, was in the house. It’s not like Homestar’s the only one with a track record of breaking in, and while he let that go for now, there is only so much loserdom a wrestleman can take. Finding the top floor free of any losers, he went back to the kitchen.

When he got downstairs, he found Homestar at the other side of the room reading the plaques adorning the wall and an already boiling pasta. In his absence, Strong Bad ended up having to stir, and drain, the macaroni as Homestar blabbed about nothing in general.

A copious amount of ketchup covered the bowl Strong Bad held. He stared over it to keep track of where he was stepping. Tripping down the stairs would not be cool. Especially not with witnesses.

Going down stairs, he could feel the presence of the athlete following close, as if they were in a crowded space and he would lose him if he got too far away. It was kind of endearing in a way. Strong Bad audibly coughed and shook his head at the thought, earning a curious look from Homestar. It would be endearing if Homestar wasn’t the one inches away from him. The steam from the freshly cooked macaroni made him almost as uncomfortable as the lack of space. He tried to put some distance between them, but his tiny legs can only go so fast.

Once downstairs, he got back to the couch, and took the remote, flipping through channels. Homestar kicked a few chip bags out of the way as he found a spot beside him. Strong Bad was going to say something about that but, like earlier, he decided to let it go for now.

It’s been awhile since they last done anything together. Not years, but it’s been weeks at least. Strong Bad briefly wonders if that had a part in his decision to let Homestar stay. He must have forgotten how annoying he is. No, wait, wasn’t it because he was too tired to make him leave? Whatever it was, he’s eating mac and ketchup, while playing another round of catch up with the guy he usually can’t stand being in the same room with.

“So what’s been going on lately, dude?”, Homestar started.

“Haven’t been doing as much lately,” he admitted sheepishly ,”been keeping track of things on twitter, other stuff, the ushe. And you?” He briefly turned to Homestar in question, then went to his task of finding something to watch.

“About the same; haven’t been up to much. Marzipan’s been doing lots of stuff outside of town lately. I’ve mainly just watched over the ol’ house while she’s been gone.”

“That’s actually a lot more than what I was expecting. I can’t believe she trusts you with that.”, Strong Bad mused ,”Didn’t you say at some point that you spent a few years in a bag?”

“Yeah, a few years ago, but me and that bag have not been on good terms anymore. Too much nagging, and ‘Homestar, did you track mud on the kitchen floor again?’ Too much for me, man. Too much.” Strong Bad nodded even though he wasn’t completely sure what Homestar was talking about.

It was about this time that Strong Bad settled on one of those game shows, or at least that’s what he thinks it was. He hasn’t really watched that show that much and only understands about half of what the goal actually is.

“Ohh, I love this one.”, Homestar chimed.

“Yeah. It’s something.”, Strong Bad mumbled through a spoonful of macaroni as he watched a man place pencils in various people’s clothing.

He looked over at Homestar while he was shoveling macaroni in his mouth, too entranced by the TV to notice the glance. He returns his attention to the screen as another man is telling jokes in a music shop. One part of him wants to laugh at the scene on the TV, the other is overly aware of their proximity; just within an inch away from leaning on the other.

He snapped out of his thoughts and back into reality. The TV is still playing; Homestar still hasn’t noticed that he was in his own world for however long that moment was. He guesses that’s something they have in common. Strong Bad takes a mouthful of macaroni, and feels betrayed by his own thoughts.

Not only was just finding common ground, he’s also getting jumbled up just by sitting close to him. What the crap is he doing? And of course he didn’t notice. He never notices a thing going on around him, stupid.

Their relationship hasn’t improved that much, he reminded himself. It’s not like they became best friends, or suddenly cared about each other like in some of the movies. He’s the guy who’s going to bust his kneecaps, kick him in the face, more things people do to people they absolutely do not like. Yeah. That’s good enough for now. Just enough to satisfy his ego.

He hears noise in the room up stairs and he doesn’t necessary panic; there’s no reason to, but he doesn’t feel completely at ease either. Waiting a moment, he doesn’t hear much else. The Cheat doesn’t make that much noise, but he would probably be getting home the same time as Strong Mad, who has no indoor voice. Probably Strong Sad? Strong Sad shouldn’t have a reason to go into the basement.

That’s where he is wrong. He hears footsteps approaching.

“Strong Bad, did you make all that mess in the kitchen?” Strong Sad asked as he walked into the room. Taking in the sight of the macaroni made him display a look of disgust. Strong Bad glared at him.
“So what if it was? What’re you going to do about it, Forrest Dump?”

“I don’t have time to clean all that up. The poetry club meeting is in 15 minutes, and I’m already running late.” Strong Sad raised his palms to emphasize the severity of his complaint.

So it was later than Strong Bad thought. Those things usually happen in the pm times, right?

“If you're in so much a hurry, then why are you even here?”

“I had to get my notebook.” He said, verifying his explanation by holding the notebook out in front of him.

“Whatever, I’m pretty sure it’s my turn to clean the kitchen anyways.” Strong Bad said as he waved his hand dismissively. Sheesh, been too lenient to other people today. ,“Just leave, or something, before I change my mind and beat you to next meeting.” Note to self: come up with something that doesn't sound awful next time.

After being threatened, Strong Sad ran off to whatever he has to be doing. Strong Bad could faintly hear Homestar make a ‘run Forrest run’ joke.

“Stupid baby brother. Who even goes to those meetings anyway?”, Strong Bad grumbled as he picked himself up off the couch.

“I can help clean up, if you need it.” Homestar offered, “I’m the one who did most of the mess.” Strong Bad didn't even think about turning down the offer,
“Well yeah. Should have made you clean it in this first place, Mess-maker.”
Homestar sort of shrugged as he got out of his seat, allowing Strong Bad to lead him upstairs. The kitchen looked a lot worse than how he remembered it. Good thing there was help.

“This is the worst it's been this month, man. How did you even get all of this on the counter?” Strong Bad indicated to the various food stains that were obviously there before Homestar even got in the kitchen.

“Um, I’m pretty sure I didn't do that.”

“And you think I believe that? It was so clean yesterday.” Strong Bad insisted.

“I guess.” Homestar said as he stepped towards the counter.

Strong Bad managed to get Homestar to do the dishwashing and wash the food stains, as he put away the unused pans and spoons that cluttered the counter. It didn’t take much time for Strong Bad to finish his part, but the dishes were still in the process of getting clean. Opting out of helping, he just stood aside as Homestar scrubbed at a bowl. Noticing Strong Bad in his peripheral vision, he tried to start a conversation.

“So did you see that thing I sent the other day?” Strong Bad couldn’t say yes. It probably got blocked by his many email filters.

“I don’t think so. What was it?” Strong Bad idly attempted to pretend that he actually got his messages. Homestar had yet to get the memo that none of his emails actually got past multiple filters, despite various times that fact was blatantly told to his face.

“Oh, Remind me to show you. It’s this video I found with an alien and, like, he’s trying to get shoes, or something, I think. Or maybe it was-”
Strong Bad made a noise and walked to a chair, as Homestar continued his rambling. Eventually, he finished cleaning the dishes.

“What was I doing again?” Homestar raised a towel in the air in an attempt to dry his ‘hands’.

“Showing me some dumb video or something.” Strong Bad called from the chair.

“Oh yeah, right. I need a computer for that.” Groaning, Strong Bad got out of his comfy seat to go upstairs. However, as this happened, a noise rang, and Homestar took out his phone. It was one of those newer ones that didn’t even close, Strong Bad noticed. It also was likely capable of viewing videos, but of course Homestar wouldn’t think about doing that before using Strong Bad’s computer.

After finishing his call, Homestar brought his attention back to Strong Bad.

“Sorry, can I show you some other time? I kinda have to go.”

“Sure. Good riddance.” He smiled at his own rudeness.

“Thanks. I knew you’d understand.” Homestar said as he went outside. This left Strong Bad as the only one in the house. He went upstairs, and booted up his computer. Curious, he searched through spam mail, and found the video Homestar was talking about. He clicked the link to watch the short video, that was indeed, a video of an alien trying to buy shoes.

“This is so not worth going through spam.”

--

After messing around a bit on his computer for while, his brothers and The Cheat eventually returned. A few days passed, as time usually does, and nothing unusual really happened. The next few days were spent like normal; hanging out with The Cheat and Strong Mad, being awful to Strong Sad, going by the concession stand occasionally. However, that changed at some point when he was hanging out behind Bubs’ concession stand with The Cheat.

“-so then he tries to get me to watch this video, and let me tell you, that video is the worst, but he leaves-”

“Hey, guys!” Homestar yelled as his was running toward them.

“Sup, person I wasn't talking about.”

“I just remembered that video I forgot to show you.” Homestar said as he pulled out his phone and searched for the youtube app.

“Already seen it.” Strong Bad interrupts.

“Oh. Well...” Homestar stopped what he was doing, “What about The Cheat?”

The Cheat looked unwilling to watch the youtube video, considering Strong Bad was just telling him how bad it was.

“Um, no. I doubt he wants to watch your dumb video either.” Homestar looked a little deflated at that, but his spirit isn't one that can easily be cracked.

“So what’s two cool dudes doing at a place like this?” Homestar asked.

“Hello?”, Strong Bad gestured to the graffiti of The On Point Kings symbol, “On Point Kings? We’ve been over this.”

“Cool. Cool. Hey, didn’t Bubs kick you guys out after that one time-”

“No. No, he didn't kick us out after that time Strong Mad let a flea-infested The Cheat get into his shipment of rugs.”

“What about that time you set his sign on fire?”

“That was taken care of, like, months ago, man.”
The Cheat ‘mehhed’ in agreement.

“What about the fire happening right now?”
“Wha-”

Strong Bad turned to his right, and, sure enough, there was fire going on right there. The Cheat, closer to the fire, jumped at the sudden knowledge of the growing flame and started running around in a panic.

“Holy crap!”

Well, it's possible that Bubs would have a fire extinguisher, or that they would find one laying around, but currently there was none in sight, so, in response to the fire, Strong Bad and Homestar tried to kick dirt over it. Surprisingly, this worked a lot better than what one would imagine. Examining the previously flaming object, the three realized that the object in question was a fire extinguisher.

“That makes me feel real safe.” Strong Bad said.

Right by the fire extinguisher was a cigarette butt.

“The Cheat, what did I tell you about smoking?”

The Cheat looked cross as he spoke out his argument.

“ Yeah, and I didn’t know that cardboard cut-out would catch on fire either.” Strong Bad mocked.

“Oh man, that extinguisher looks busted.” Homestar interrupted their brief argument to bring attention to the thing.

“Well, if it was going to catch on fire it probably wasn’t that useful anyway.” Strong Bad said, but Homestar ignored him.

Homestar stared at it for a bit, then promptly kicked more dirt over it. It wasn’t that great at hiding the burnt fire extinguisher, but the look of relief on Homestar’s face said ‘Bubs won’t be able to tell the difference’. The other two didn’t correct him, and if they had to avoid the area for the while, it’s not like they didn’t have anywhere else to go. Speaking of…

Strong Bad walked away from the scene of the crime. The Cheat followed him, and after realizing his sort-of friends were leaving, Homestar followed suit. While Strong Bad would never admit to it, he wasn’t too bothered about the new presence.

--

“Hey Strong Bad?” Homestar said, putting down the control of a toy car.
Strong Bad hummed in question.

“Do you wanna hang out Tuesday night? Watch movies, or something?” He asked. Strong Bad looked at him funny.

“Isn't that, like, the night of Marzipan’s concert?”

“Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to that. Like, we broke up again, and I don't think she wants me to go that much anyway, so...” He admitted casually.

“That's tough, bud.” Strong Bad mocked. Homestar didn’t catch the sarcastic tone, and responded genuinely.

“It’s alright. I didn't really want to go that much anyway.” He reassured. Strong Bad smirked at the comment. For all the annoyance Homestar and Marzipan’s relationship gave him, it was funny sometimes to hear their ‘fondness’ for each other. Not to mention the satisfaction he got knowing Homestar would rather be around him.

Strong Bad considered it for a moment. It’s not like there is going to be much going on on a Tuesday night. Besides, The Cheat and Strong Mad are a part of her band so then he’d be stuck at home with Strong Sad. Add Homestar having a decent television and the idea doesn't seem half bad.

“Yeah. I'll go.”

When Strong Bad told Strong Sad his plans for Tuesday he looked as pleased as a sad ghost elephant thing could look to know that he wouldn't have to deal with Strong Bad, at least for a short while. Homestar invited Pom Pom, but he already had plans for that night.

--

The hour before their designated meet up time, Strong Bad started feeling antsy. He brushed his teeth in the bathroom upstairs.

After spitting out that gargle, he stared at himself in the mirror in an attempt to get himself together. What is wrong with you, man? It's not like you haven't hung out like this before. Don't treat this like some big thing. Despite that statement, he sprayed on some not body spray before leaving the house. It’s not that big of a deal to spruce up when going to a friend’s house; if by friend you mean person you tolerate. It just means he cares about his appearance, and making other people jealous of said appearance.

After knocking the door, Strong Bad waited apprehensively for it to open.

Footsteps could be heard running to the door. Opening it, Homestar smiled brightly. The joy radiating off of him was almost contagious actually. Strong Bad’s stomach felt queasy, and his face felt feverish. Maybe it actually was contagious. It was hard to keep from returning the smile, but he managed. Homestar looked around confused.

“What's that smell?” He asked, making Strong Bad step back a little.

“I, It's nothing.” Strong Bad lied.

“I'm pretty sure that I'm smelling something. Did you roll around in something dead?”

“What? Hey! That was a pretty expensive spray… that broke and got all over me… while I was shopping… and had to go through the perfume aisle to get to the… milk?” Strong Bad muttered an attempt at an excuse.

“Oh, dang, that sucks, you can take a shower here if you want to wash that off.” Strong Bad examined Homestar’s face. All he wants to do is help.

“...Thanks.” Strong Bad said through his teeth. On the way to the bathroom Homestar questioned him about the incident.

“So did you have to pay for the bottle?” He asked. The question didn't process Strong Bad’s brain.

“What?” Strong Bad’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“You said it broke. Don't stores usually make you pay for breaking stuff?” Homestar asked.

“I… guess.” Strong Bad inwardly cursed the fact that Homestar decided now to be observant ,”I got away with it though. One of the ladies working there thought I was so hot, she wanted to pay for it for me.”

“That was nice of her.” Homestar said as they reached the door to the bathroom. Strong Bad let out a weak ‘yeah’ in response as he closed the door.

After taking a shower, the smell got less concentrated, but it lingered. Luckily, it apparently wasn’t too much of a deal breaker considering that Homestar continued to interact with him like usual.

They hung out in the living room with junk food and various movies to keep them busy. Currently, they just finished some documentary type movie about aliens and were now starting Tsunorca 3. It’s midnight, and Strong Bad looked over to see Homestar on his phone. Curious, he scooted closer to see what he’s looking at. An image of a concert flashed only to have it switch to another image of food.

“What’cha doin?” Strong Bad asked. Homestar switched his attention to Strong Bad.

“Oh, I’m looking at snapchat.” Homestar said. Strong Bad vaguely remembered hearing the name of the app before. Homestar showed him the “story” he was watching. The concert neither of them went to looks like it was doing very well. After seeing all the stories, Homestar switched to the camera and took a picture of the TV. The lighting was very poor; all you can see is a dark background with a rectangle of light. Only someone who was very familiar with the movie would be able to tell what they are watching. Homestar typed something down and sent it.

Strong Bad saw Homestar switch the camera view to take a selfie. He tilted the phone until Strong Bad could also see himself on the screen. They are both very hard to see. Most of his face is slightly illuminated by the blue light of the TV screen, with a slither of orange light coming from another room.

Strong Bad tried to hide himself but it was too late. He looked like a blurry blob next to a slightly less blurry blob. Homestar added stickers to the picture making the unfocused image even harder to decipher before hitting send. Strong Bad swiped the phone from Homestar, taking a picture of him as he was trying to get it back, creating another blurry effect. He typed ‘most photogenic guy ever’. Homestar laughed and sent that one too.

After settling down, and going back to focusing on the main girl somehow defeating the tsunorca, they remained in their sitting positions, only moving for bathroom breaks. It’s about 4 am, a mountain of wrappers and chips bags are piled on the floor, and sleep is approaching. Without thinking, Strong Bad rests his head on Homestar who is still focused on whatever movie he put in the vcr last. Homestar doesn’t even seem to notice. It’s getting difficult to keep his eyes open. He dozes off.

--

When he wakes up, he sees that it’s still dark, as if he never fell asleep at all. Homestar’s still where he was when he last saw him. Homestar blankly looked at his now awake companion without saying anything. For some reason they were facing the other. Strong Bad leaned forward, giving Homestar a peck at the corner of his mouth.

Strong Bad moved away to to see a reaction, anticipating rejection. Instead of looking distressed or confused, Homestar pressed his lips on to Strong Bad’s in a way that made him feel kind of dumb for his skittishness. They return kisses like that for some time now before he wrapped his arms around Homestar, as Homestar leaved sloppy kisses on his neck. Strong Bad found himself unable to move, though he wasn't trying much to begin with. Heck, with how he’s feeling right now, he’d be fine with anything.

Then Strong Bad woke up to see a dull light coming through a window. He’s laying on the couch and looked down to find Homestar on the floor. He’s partially obscured by the trash left on the floor. He hasn’t woken up yet. The TV is playing a rerun of Match Game. He touched his mouth remembering how vivid kissing Homestar felt. Did that actually happen? No, that didn't actually happen. That had to be a dream. A dream that he was with Homestar. Crap.

When did this get so bad? When did enemies turn into a one-sided friendship, and when did that become less one-sided? And when did that turn into dreams like that? He retraced his doodle memory for clues. In the past few years he kinda understood that he wasn’t just into girls. He also reluctantly understood that he kinda had a crush on Homestar, but he never thought he would get it this bad for him. Tells you where thinking gets ya.

How is he supposed to act when Homestar wakes up? You can’t just dream about throwing yourself at someone and pretend that everything's fine right to their face. Not when looking at said face made his heart do flips.

And so he didn't. Instead of waiting for him to wake up, Strong Bad creeped past Homestar’s sleeping body and made way towards the door. He slowly twisted the knob and tried to close the door behind him as quietly as possible. It wasn't the proudest moment for him; running away from your crush’s house because you couldn't stand to look him in the eye, but it happened.

When he got home, he went to his room. He found the body spray and threw it out. That’s one problem solved at least.

--

After a few hours of numbing his memories with video games, Strong Sad walked by, covering the talking part of the phone.

“Homestar called. He wanted to know if you're alright.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Strong Bad grumbled in a way that meant ‘dont talk to me’.

“Did something happen? You’re usually not up until at least noon.” Strong Bad curled into himself after getting a game over screen.

“No.” Strong Bad raised his voice defensively. Strong Sad looked inquisitive but decided that prying would do no good. Only a bad. A Bad punching his already bruised stomach.

“Well, he’s still on the phone. What do you want me to tell him?”

“That I decided to go home early? It isn't that difficult to understand; even for Homestar.”

Strong Sad walked away from his room to tell Homestar what he just said without laser gun noises in the background.

Either Homestar didn’t tell Strong Sad about his plans, or Strong Sad was avoiding telling him, because the visit he received a few hours later from his least favorite uninvited guest was less than expected. Or it was expected, but Strong Bad still wasn't too happy with the idea of it. He was never happy with it, but it's even worse when he is trying to sort out his own dumb feelings. Homestar burst into the room as if it were his own and sat a comfortable distance away from the tense wrestleman. His body language gave the impression that nothing was wrong, but the occasional look of worry on his face and sudden regard for personal space said otherwise.

“What is it? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?” Strong Bad aggressively mashed at buttons.

Homestar’s attention went back and forth between Strong Bad and the tv.

“Why did you leave?”

“Is that all you came here for?” He asked.

“Yep, pretty much.”

“I just wanted to go home early.” Strong Bad repeated.

“Oh, so you got homesick?” Homestar guessed.

“No. I’m not the kid who leaves slumber parties because they got ‘homesick’. That's Strong Sad’s thing.” Strong Bad mocked, disproportionately angry at the suggestion.

“But-”

“I told you, I'm alright.” Strong Bad was getting tired of all the unwanted concern. He kind of wishes he wasn’t so prideful because at this moment he has no excuses, and he just denied a free one. Then again, he’d rather die than tell Homestar that he got homesick.

“No. Strong Sad told me you were alright. Stuff like that never sounds right when it's coming from him. When he says ‘I'm fine’ it sounds like those memes, you know, the one where the person says they're fine and what they mean is ‘please come to Brazil’.” Strong Bad stifled a laugh at Homestar’s explanation, Homestar continued in a way that was serious for him,
“ I just wanted to make sure, y’know, because I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there.”

God, he could just kiss him. No, punch him. This is the kind of sappy, genuine stuff that he normally wouldn't tolerate, but it was Homestar saying those words. Sweet, stupid, annoyingly loveable Homestar. This doofus doesn't even know.

“Well, you didn't do anything, if that's what you wanted to hear.” Strong Bad got another game over screen. He hit restart, but his ability to focus on the game was dwindling.

“Oh. Whew. What a relief. I thought you didn't want to hang out with me anymore. ” He nervously laughed to himself. He brought his attention to the now relaxed Homestar. He felt himself ease up knowing that was what he was worried about, and how fast he accepted what he told him.

“So what did you think happened?” He asked, curiosity setting in.

“Oh. I don't know. I figured that what I said about your smell upset you. Or like, I did something without knowing it.”

“That hasn't stopped you before. Besides, if it were that I would have left sooner.” Strong Bad said. Maybe things have changed just a little bit. Homestar looked a little self conscious.

“Are we still cool?” Homestar asked. It took a second for Strong Bad to respond. He wonders if Homestar noticed that he never offered an explanation. Regardless, he seems off the hook for now.

“Well, I don't know about you, but I'm still cool.” Strong Bad said. Homestar tried to look offended but his laughter kind of ruined that impression. He scooted over closer to Strong Bad to watch the screen. It was pleasant.

“Can I play after you die again?” Homestar asked. Like hell is he going to let Homestar play the game. He'll probably break it.

“Yeah.” He has too much power. Strong Bad’s never felt this weak.

--

Since then, a miracle happened. Strong Bad upgraded to a new phone. He received messages between his family to do things like going to the store or picking them up from the food court and messages telling him when his next phone payment was due. No messages were as frequent as the ones Homestar spammed him though, especially on the day's he and Marzipan weren't together.

There was an interesting newness of it all. Unlike his computer, he's had a harder time filtering messages, and newest of all, Homestar’s messages only became a slight annoyance at most. He even willingly agreed to be friends on apps they both used.

The new closeness they had as sorta friends gave a lot more highs and lows for him. It was a bad idea in hindsight. He might have, or might not have, wanted to be closer to him, but he knew that the kind of relationship he was pining for was out of reach. There's no chance of it. Things have been the same for too long to suddenly change now. Homestar and Marzipan’s relationship status may be tenuous, but they never break it off for good.

Besides that, it wouldn't work out. He's spent years antagonizing him. He's a jerk even on the good days. Homestar’s an idiot, but between the guy who's decked him in the face, multiple times, and the girl he’s been dating for years, the answer is an obvious ‘I like you, but not that way’. If he were more honest, he'd admit that he shouldn't even have that.

Still, he begrudgingly admitted it was nice to think about every once in awhile.

Sometimes Homestar looked at him in way that made him feel like Homestar believed he hung the moon and the stars or something. Of course he is the coolest guy in the world, it's just not the kind of look he’s used to receiving. He's more used to looks of annoyance and fear. Homestar gave him that optimistic look even when he was at his worst behavior, and he didn’t know how to feel about that. He’s too naive; too good for his own good.

Homestar talked to him often, but then again, with his options, it's not that surprising. He can talk a lot; even to people who aren't as verbal, or people who aren't verbal at all. He tried not to think too much about his lack of personal space because, honestly, he has no sense of it.

A part of him felt the need for space. He needed to make boundaries because sometimes he honestly felt like telling him about his feelings, but he knew that what he wanted to happen and what would happen are totally different.

He sighed at his own thoughts as he scribbled new ideas for teen girl squad.

“Hey, Strong Bad!”
“AAAHHHHH!”

Strong Bad turned to the source of his heart attack. Speak of the devil.

“Ah, sorry about that. I was just visiting.” Homestar said apologetic.

Strong Bad still had a glove to his heart, as he was trying to calm himself down. His other arm was propping him up with the table. Homestar skimmed his doodles.

“So you’re still making these.” Homestar smiled at the pieces of violence depicting paper.

“Well, I haven’t made one in a long time. I bet if they were real they wouldn’t be able to call themselves the ‘teen’ girl squad. More like ‘middle aged women squad’.” Strong Bad joked.

“Hmm, but you’re still coming up with ideas for it, right?” He asked. Strong Bad looked at the papers.

“Yeah, they’re right there. You’re looking at them right now.” He said.

“So you’re still making one. You should show me when you’re done.” Homestar smiled and Strong Bad could feel an invisible hand on his shoulder. Strong Bad nodded his head.

“Consider yourself the first to know.” Strong Bad said. Homestar’s eyes lit up in excitement. Strong Bad organised the paper on the desk as an excuse to avoid those eyes. He left his work for another day.
“So why didn't you message me before coming here?” Strong Bad asked.

“I thought I did.” Strong Bad tried to check his phone but it wouldn't turn on. His plugged it into the wall and waited a moment. He tried turning it on again. The phone slowly turned on and he unlocked the screen.

“No you didn't.” He said.
“Oh.”

After a moment of silence a sigh escaped Strong Bad.

“So what do you want?” He asked.

“Well, I was wanting to know if you wanted to eat lunch with me.” Homestar said.

“Got stood up by Marzipan again?” Strong Bad teased.

“No, she hasn't been here the past few days, remember? Besides we aren’t dating right now.” Homestar said with a pout. Honestly he didn't even notice. He's been holed up in his room since the release of a new video game. This was the first time in the past few days he had actually took a break from it.

“Right. I don't think I can go. I’m getting low on cash right now and-”
“I’ll pay for it.” Homestar interrupted. It didn't surprise Strong Bad that much. Homestar is the type of person who would pay to keep someone's company. It’s a terrible habit, and Strong Bad knows he’s taken advantage of it too many times before, but...

“Alright. Just keep to yourself. I don't need rumors spreading or anything. Y’know reputation and all.” Strong Bad ordered half-jokingly. Homestar looked shocked for a moment, but Strong Bad wasn't able to tell what he was shocked about. He chalked it up as him trying to understand his implication.

They had decided to go to a nearby restaurant, similar to ihop, but not quite.

“I don't like being here. It feels like at least one of those freaks from the municipality is always around.” Strong Bad complained.

“Well, it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong, right?” Homestar asked.

“Yeah.” Strong Bad glared while thinking about how his past few days have been spent. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Then there is nothing to worry about.” Homestar looked happy at his simple conclusion. While it's true they had nothing to get in trouble for, the idea of being in the same area as any type of law enforcement made him on edge. Even without having done anything, the likelihood of the King of Town being in his business doesn’t sound appealing. They walked in the restaurant.

There were few people inside of the building. There was one of the many smiths in the building, proving Strong Bad right, but he seemed to be minding himself. They both ordered and sat across from each other.

Homestar started doodling on a kids menu he found on a nearby table. When Strong Bad looked down at the paper he saw colorful bugs cover the page. Homestar seemed to be preoccupied with that. Strong Bad’s options for what to do before lunch was brought to them were limited.

He could rustle up some trouble, but getting possibly thrown out didn’t seem appealing. He could get his own menu to color, but he didn’t want anyone to think less of him if they saw him. He could mess with Homestar… but he seemed pretty focused, so he decided to watch.

Without thinking he started kicking his legs back and forth. First, it wasn’t that noticeable; a slight motion to ease his nerves, but eventually one of his legs ended up kicking Homestar.

Homestar winced a bit then looked up at Strong Bad.
“Ow. What was that for?” Homestar asked. It just now processed in Strong Bad’s brain what happened.

“Oh, uh, that didn’t… I wasn’t trying to do that.” Strong Bad tried to explain. Homestar looked at him but he also seemed to be thinking of how to respond. Interesting. So he’s capable of thought. Unnecessary rude comments aside, the fact that Homestar was deciding how to respond made him panic a bit. Why is looking at him like that? Strong Bad’s looked down at the table.

“Like I said, I didn’t mean to kick you. Sorry.” Strong Bad rushed the last bit, but it was apparently heard because when he looked back up, Homestar seemed surprised. The look on his face changed into a smile immediately.

The food has been brought to them. As the waitress left the table, they continued.

“Oh, It’s no problem. Actually, you’ve been a lot nicer lately.” Homestar said as he took a bite out of a sandwich. Now Strong Bad was surprised. Nicer? Him? He thought about it for a second. Sure, he hasn’t been as violent or blatantly terrible to others lately, but nicer? He hasn’t thought about it much. What was going on through Homestar’s head to make him say that? He forced himself to make eye contact.

“I guess someone’s just been a good influence on me.” He said, scratching the back of his head. Truth be told, he was a little embarrassed at how honest the statement was. Homestar broke eye contact first, boosting Strong Bad’s ego just a bit.

“Who is that?” Homestar asked. Strong Bad briefly wondered if he honestly didn’t know or if he was just being coy.

“You, stupid.” Strong Bad’s small sense of contentedness left. Homestar made a long oh sound in realization. So he didn’t understand. A part of him wished it was the other option, because then he could pretend it was flirting. Then again, Homestar was never good with hints. He started eating his chicken tenders.

“It’s a little weird having a nice Strong Bad, but I like being with you like this.” Homestar said before taking another bite. Strong Bad avoided Homestar’s face for what felt like the fiftieth time today. He tried not to think too much about the wording.

As Homestar reached for his styrofoam cup, his invisible hand accidently bumped into it. Luckily for both of them Strong Bad managed to catch it before it hit the ground. He set it back, basking in the glory of doing something kind of cool. Homestar thanked him, as he took a sip.

Strong Bad decided to take a sip of his own, but his hand hit the cup the same way Homestar’s did and it crashed to the floor, leaving a mess of soda. Homestar got up to get napkins, and clean up before Strong Bad even registered what happened. Strong Bad looked away from the waitress in shame as she refilled the cup. He didn’t risk taking a drink again until he was more than halfway done with his food.

They continued eating in silence. After paying, they walked back to Strong Bad’s house. This whole eat and walk home thing was a little too quiet for this to feel normal. Not with someone like Homestar.

“So what’s the deal, man? Why did you take me out to eat? Like, I figured you were bored, or lonely, or something, but you didn’t even talk to me for half of the time we were over there.” Strong Bad finally asked.
“Well... I wanted to hang out with you, but I got nervous.” Homestar admitted. Strong Bad looked at him, questioning him with his expression. He was telling the truth; at least about the nervous part. He could tell in the way Homestar’s body seemed to tense up, and in the way his head looked back more than usual.

“How come?” Strong Bad pushed onward. The reason had to be important if it had the normally carefree athlete so jumbled up. Homestar looked away then back at him.

“Because, you know, I was thinking that maybe we could go out on a date, or something.”
“Were you trying to ask me out?” Strong Bad asked, a calm exterior taking over. Inwardly, he felt like the world was coming apart.

“Yeah, that.” Homestar confirmed. Their walking died down.

“You were trying to ask me to go on a date.” Strong Bad repeated to make sure he was still hearing things right.

“Yeah, I said that already.” Homestar’s demeanor returned to its usual calm self, though a little agitated from not getting a direct answer yet.

“With you?” Strong Bad added in disbelief.

“Yes.” Homestar reiterated. Strong Bad noticed he was stalling his own answer, which is strange considering for the past few months he had been thinking about how Homestar would respond if he would ask. Homestar looked impatient, and he could understand why but...

“What about Marzipan? Don’t you go back to her, like, every other week?” Strong Bad asked.

“Well, we’re broken up, and I don’t think we’re getting back together.” Homestar answered.

“How reassuring.” Strong Bad frowned.

“Why would I ask you out if I wanted to get back with her?” Homestar asked. Good point. He’s too simple to do anything too deceptive. Strong Bad looked away.

“Well, you’re twisting my arm here, but I guess we can see how things go.” Strong Bad attempted to look like he was pondering hard. He gave a side glance to Homestar, who had wide eyes.

“So, that’s a yes?” Homestar asked, still looking for a blunt response.

“Yeah, but if you try anything you’re gonna get cut.”