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It took a minute to break everything. It took a minute to unravel what Caleb had managed to hold together. It only took a minute.
They abandoned Felderwind the moment they saw the two figures nearing the basement hatch. They traveled for hours at a rather brisk pace, needing the distance. It'd been a long ride, one of silence. The tension was clear, especially between Caleb and Nott.
Caleb had been silent, sitting at the edge of the cart, staring out into nothing. His hand mindlessly petted Frumpkin. He was still shaking a little. His stomach still twisted and turned, threatening to make him lose what was left in him.
He didn't see them, but could tell the others stole glances at him.
The secret he so heavily guarded. The walls he had constantly built around him for protection. It all crumbled so easily. She blamed him for it. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was his fault. If he wasn't so weak, wasn't so...
Caduceus' words rang in his mind, "It's not your fault. You're the solution." What a shitty solution it was then.
He remembers the night in Zadash. He remembers telling Beau and Nott his story. Neither of them judged. Neither of them blamed him. Now, Nott is blaming him.
When they stop, it'll be a rough time. Everyone will be expecting to talk, expect him to tell them. How could he? They know half, that he was part of the group that ordered the experiments. Will he have to tell the other half? Will they know what he did?
He brushed his hand against his throat as he felt a little come up. The same agonizing fear came back. It threatened to make him break again, but he swallowed it back down.
He could leave. Right now, he could leave.
Stupid, you can't run forever. Stop being worthless for once and do something. He couldn't help but laugh at his own mind. How many times had he heard this? So many times he's tried to convince himself.
The longer he stays, the more danger he is in. The longer he stays, the closer he gets to Trent. The longer he stays, the more attached he becomes to these people.
Where does attachment get him? Sure, the bonds are more secure, but it hurts all the more if they are cut. He never meant to stay this long. He never meant...
For all his intelligence, he is blinded by ambition.
Now, the sky is fading from the pale blue into the setting sky. The sun is nearing the horizon and the stars are beginning to show. The wagon is being led off the path and toward the field a few hundred feet.
They're in open plains tonight. There's no forest to hide in, to get away. No. tonight, they're left with each other, their decisions, and their words.