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The colonel whistles as he swipes his access card and waits for the door to Daniel’s lab to open, but when he steps inside, the unintelligible tune dies on his lips when he sees Teal’c sitting at the bench.
“Teal’c.”
“O’Neill,” he responds, his attention not wavering from whatever it is he’s reading.
“Everything OK?”
“Indeed,” he answers, finally lifting his gaze to look at him. “Daniel Jackson has been allowing me access to his journals so that I can learn more about the history of your planet.”
He nods. “Ah, and I’m guessing it’s easier to do that when Daniel isn’t here to provide an in-person commentary?”
Teal’c cants his head slightly as he considers the question. “Indeed.”
Jack smirks as he turns his attention to the shelves that line Daniel’s lab – and the reason he’s really there.
“Are you looking for something in particular, O’Neill?”
“I’m after one of Danny’s books,” he shrugs. “And I’d rather he didn’t know about it.”
“Why?”
“Because he’d probably refuse to let me take it in the first place.”
“I see.”
“But Daniel’s also the only person I know on the base who has a copy.”
“Is it of great significance to you?”
Jack shifts uncomfortably.
“Kind of.” He glances over at his teammate and sighs. “Apparently referring to the Goa’uld as assholes in your mission report is frowned upon. The other terms I know are even less tasteful, so Hammond suggested I look through a thesaurus. There’s one here somewhere.”
It’s a half-truth. Hammond’s already made him re-write three of his reports for using what he referred to as “choice language”, but it isn’t the real reason as to why he needs –
“What is a thesaurus?”
Jack freezes at the question and suddenly wishes Daniel was around. “Uh,” he grimaces as he tries to figure out how to answer. “It’s a book – a big book – that, uh, has lots of words in it and –”
He sees Teal’c’s eyebrow rise in spectacular fashion and sighs. “Hang on,” he mumbles. He quickly turns back to the shelf and scans the various titles until he finds the one he wants. When he sets it down on the bench, he lets the book fall open at a page.
“Pick a word, Teal’c.”
When the Jaffa just stares at him in confusion, he gestures to the thesaurus. “Trust me.”
He waits patiently – a feat in itself – as his teammate takes his time, before his finger lands on the page. Jack leans over his shoulder and smiles.
Futile.
“OK. So, you see all of the words listed alongside?”
“I do.”
“Well, they all have the same – or a similar – meaning as futile. If you wanted, you could use any of those words in a sentence, in its place.”
Teal’c considers his explanation for a moment, before he pushes the book away.
“And what is the purpose of such an activity?”
Jack frowns. He’s pretty sure he’s just told him the purpose. “It’s –”
“Would the Tau’ri not be better served if they spoke the words they intended to say, rather than search for another that means exactly the same?”
“Uh, you know, that’s a great question,” he offers lamely. “And one that I’m sure Daniel would love to answer when he –” He stops abruptly when he sees a glint in his friend’s eye. “Teal’c?” he asks slowly. “Was that a joke?”
“It would appear my attempt to be humorous was not entirely… futile, O’Neill.”
The hardened military officer can’t help but grin.
By the time he gets back to his office, he is almost out of enthusiasm for his task, but he decides to see it through for an hour before he grabs a late lunch. Sitting down at his desk, he pulls open a drawer and finds the notepad he’d scribbled a list of words onto earlier.
“Here goes nothing,” he mutters as he opens up the thesaurus.
But it takes just twenty minutes before he has a desire to throw something. He sighs in frustration and crosses out the final word on his list. All in all, he hasn’t been able to find a single one of Carter’s technobabble terms in the thesaurus, so – despite his attempts to research and understand what his captain actually talks about on a daily basis – he still hasn’t the faintest idea.
He closes the book with more force than it strictly needs and sighs once again.
There’s only one thing for it, he realizes.
He takes the stairs two at a time to the briefing room and smiles when he finds her there, lost in thought as she stares down at the Stargate below.
“Carter!”
He throws her a lopsided smile when she spins around to face him, but then his attention drifts to Lieutenant Simmons who is sitting behind the aide desk in the corner of the room and he hesitates.
He’s heard the rumors around base that the guy has a crush on Captain Carter – a crush that doesn’t appear to be reciprocated – and for reasons he refuses to entertain, the knowledge nevertheless makes Jack happy.
“Colonel, is everything OK?”
He nods, but his facial expression must tell her something different, because she frowns slightly, right before she asks, “Are you sure, sir?”
“Actually, Carter, do you have a moment?”
Her eyes widen slightly and Jack finds himself staring at how blue they are in the dim lighting of their surroundings.
“Of course, sir.”
Her voice pulls him from his thoughts and he goes to speak, but suddenly remembers that they aren’t alone and he doesn’t want Simmons to overhear the conversation. It’s not that he feels threatened by the younger officer, but – again for reasons he avoids delving into any further – he decides he’d just rather not give the guy any advantage whatsoever when it comes to Carter.
Jack purses his lips and glances around. He sees Hammond’s office is empty, so he places a hand on Sam’s upper arm and guides her in that direction. There’s a questioning look on her face when they stop in front of the star map and when she pulls the notepad she’s been holding closer to her chest, as if it’s going to protect her from whatever’s going to come out of his mouth, he can’t help but smile.
He risks a final glance over at Simmons before he leans towards Sam.
“Look, I know I should know this by now and I swear, it’ll be the last time I ask,” he whispers. “These wormholes we go through… they’re not always there, right?”