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"They should be there already," Akira said as he brushed the hair out of his eyes as he and Makoto navigated through the quite busy station to their destination. They were supposed to meet up there with Ryuji and Ann, to engage in the other couple's pleasant company the whole day.
A double date, basically.
And that's where Makoto began to feel a bit uneasy.
"That's great," Makoto replied and winced when her voice sounded less enthusiastic than it should have. And Akira must've heard that as well, as he turns his head slightly towards her in question.
"Something wrong?"
"No, no it's nothing." Makoto gives him a smile to assure him that she is very much enjoying the thought of meeting up with their brightly colored hair friends for a double date. And it wasn't a lie. She did enjoy that thought, but something else had latched on to the side of her brain that was screaming at her to get out of this agreement quickly, and she couldn't figure out why either.
She has absolutely nothing against Ryuji and Ann, they were amongst the most good hearted people she knows and she cherished the trust and bond between teammates that they graciously had given to her when she had been through her rough patch and had seen her at one of her weakest points. They were good friends.
But she feels as though, besides all of that, she still wasn't prepared enough for the awkwardness that was to ensue from this double date. Or at least, on her side.
Akira seemed satisfied with her response though, nodding and smiling back at her before his eye caught two familiar blonde heads amongst the crowd and he quickened his pace, Makoto closely following behind. Ryuji and Ann had their backs turned to them, so Akira wasted no time throwing his hands around their shoulders in greeting.
"Dude! Was wonderin' where you were!" Ryuji threw his arm over Akira as Ann laughed, and Makoto stopped into place behind them, feeling as if it would be impolite to disrupt them, despite being a part of the group herself. "Was startin' to think you and Makoto ditched us, Uh, where is she, by the way?" Makoto cleared her throat behind them, making the trio turn towards her.
"Um, hello." Makoto greeted. Ryuji and Ann smiled at her politely as Akira moved away from them to throw his arm over Makoto's shoulder, the simple act making her flush, and was grinning.
Makoto wish she could say the same.
Ann slung Ryuji's arm over her own shoulders, immediately assuming a comfortable couple's look. Makoto envied how Ann didn't even turn pink whilst doing that. She could never bring herself to do the same.
"Welp, let's get going then! The movies aren't going to watch themselves!" As the blonde couple had started chattering on their own and had started to walk, Akira turned back at Makoto.
"Hey, are you sure nothing is wrong? Like we can cancel right now if--"
"No, I assure you I'm fine."
"Alright." Akira chuckled, the sound doing a bit to calm her nerves but it's still comforting. "If you're nervous, don't be. It's just Ryuji and Ann," Akira mused.
And he is right, it is just Ryuji and Ann.
Though, Makoto could never bring herself to admit that perhaps that was part of the problem.
~
Makoto was used to feeling out of place amongst her peers. She knew that she had a disconnection with them and since joining the Phantom Thieves, she's been working hard to change that. There were still instances in which she still hadn't quite found a way to fit in amongst the young crowd, but it hadn't bothered her that much. Makoto knew she was never going to completely be able to change that.
This however, had a particular sting to it that Makoto couldn't placate.
Upon entering the movie theatre, the small group had already taken their seats as the movie played in front of them. Makoto sat on Akira's right side, and despite holding her hand, Akira was more or less leaning towards his left side, whispering jokes and covering up snickers with Ryuji and Ann as Makoto tried to keep her attention onto the screen. That in itself, Makoto had not find it bothering. A bit rude considering their venue, but there was hardly anyone else here and they all kept their volume, so Makoto found it harmless.
But it found its way even after they left the movie theatre and had gone elsewhere. The second years would loudly (though that may just be Ryuji) joke and laugh at what Makoto could only assume were inside jokes because she certainly didn't understand what was so funny. They would comment briefly about something that they had done together, all three of them, in the past that Makoto would obviously have no recollection of considering she wasn't there. They would talk, carry conversation as if they're not on a double date and we're simply on a regular get together.
She stayed quiet for the most part, too afraid to interject with her comments and find a way to make it awkward when the three of them were clearly having a good time. Of course the three would attempt to include her, asking her fun little questions about isn't it great how much fun they're having? and Makoto would reply, only just so they would turn their bright grins away from her and go back to whatever they had been talking or laughing about, especially Akira's, who had looked as if he was having such a wonderful time, despite the very little contribution she's had said or done in this date.
Makoto felt awful. She shouldn't be feeling this way but it can't be helped.
Makoto refered back to when she had been tailing them for information before she had joined them in the Phantom Thieves a million times already. She felt like an outsider, a drag amongst a group she didn't belong in even as her underclassmen tried to include her. If Yusuke, Morgana and even their newest member, Futaba, had been along with them, then perhaps she wouldn't have felt so out of place. At least she could find comfort in them having a platonic get together, something that she and her friends would do all the time but no.
This was a double date.
This was romantic.
This was fun.
Makoto didn't find it rather fun. Nor romantic. She wanted to, but the nagging feeling in her gut told her that she's been a damper on the good time her friends were having.
Perhaps she's just being petty? This was certainly such a childish thing to be upset about. Ryuji and Ann were Akira's best friends, it's only natural that the three of would gravitate more towards each other, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's not their fault that she felt like she's a small child tagging along, holding onto Akira's hand as he and the other couple actually enjoyed this date.
Other couple.
Makoto nearly tsked at that.
Ryuji and Ann weren't the other couple in this.
She should leave now. It wouldn't bother Akira, right?
"Hm? Makoto, what's up?" Akira's voice broke through her and Makoto just now realized that she stood up. Three pairs of eyes we're staring at her curiously so Makoto willed herself to talk.
"Oh, um, Sis texted me and I should be going now," Makoto said as naturally as she could. Perhaps she's been imagining it but she saw a flash of dissapointment across the blondes' faces.
"Oh, that sucks. You didn't even get to sing yet!" Ann pouted, holding a mic infront of her. Makoto felt her face burn red at the embarassing thought. She was so lost in her thoughts that didn't even realized that they were in the Karaoke bar, though that did explain the off key singing she heard, not that she was any better.
"Well, you wouldn't want to hear me sing anyways," Makoto hurriedly picked up her bag. "I should go, my sister is really worried."
"I'll go with yo--" Akira started, standing up as well, before Makoto interrupted him.
"No, you should stay and have fun." Makoto said firmly, and Akira remained quiet, and the older girl wnated to leave while she still could without being interroagted.
"A'ight. See ya Makoto!" Ryuji grinned at her and Ann added a nice "stay safe" and Makoto said her farewells to them.
Akira eyed her suspiciously though, and she felt weak under the scrutnity under his gaze. It followed her even as she stepped out of the Karaoke bar--
-- and soon after she heard footsteps jogging up next to her.
"Makoto, wait up." She heard Akira's voice and now said boy was right behind her, hand stuffed in his pockets as always, and Makoto spun on her heels towards him.
"Akira? What are you doing here? You should be--"
"What's wrong with you?"
"W-what?" Makoto stared at him dumbly while Akira's grey eyes pierced through his glasses, skeptism shining through and Makoto felt as if she's been caught red handed.
"Your sister didn't text you, you never brought out your phone." The boy stated simply and Makoto cursed herself for overlooking such a small detail. She was hoping Akira wouldn't notice, since he was having a conversation with Ryuji, but she knew better than to underestimate his ability to notice everything.
"So what's up? Why did you want to leave ao early?"
"It's nothing."
"Makoto, please." Akira's gaze softened as he took a step closer, and that only made Makoto feel just a tad worse. He was doing his best.
"I just," Makoto sighed. She was sure he was going to think of her as childish for this. Who wouldn't? But she knows she has to be honest with herself. And with Akira. She owes him that much. Akira stays quiet, pressing her to continue.
"I just feel as though I'm not… included, I suppose, in this double date." Makoto started and when Akira looks at her confused, she urgently continued.
"Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate this, at all!" Makoto ran a hand through her hair and groaned. "I just feel like a dog following it's owners, if that makes sense. Like a--"
"Fourth wheel?" Akira supplied taking another step towards her, and Makoto nodded, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. She's such a child sometimes. Akira gave her a small smile, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer.
"You could've just said so you know. I was kind of worried you had a sore throat or something. You were so quiet," Akira muttered with a smirk and Makoto felt a strange sense of both warmth and embarassment on.the acknowledgement.
"You-- you noticed?" Makoto squeeked and Akira nodded.
"Yeah. Just didn't say anything. Pretty sure Ann and Ryuji did too," the boy added and Makoto covered her face and groaned. "I just kind of chalked it up to you being nervous, but I guess I should have realized it was something else." Akira rubbed the back of his neck woth his free hand and smiled, relieving of the tension Makoto felt.
"But… I'm sorry that you felt like we we're excluding you or something. I kind of forgot that you're not really the best at stuff like this, and well, I guess I am closer to Ann and Ryuji than you are," Akira continues, his eyes glued to the ground but he snickered and looked up at her again.
"I totally get how you feel though. It's kind of why I arranged this whole thing in the first place."
"Huh?"
Akira smirked at her, "Ryuji and Ann are pretty… yeah…." Akira coudn't even bring himself to describe their relationship, which Makoto thought was amusing. "And it sucks tagging along with those two when it's just the three of us."
"So… you often feel like a third wheel? Makoto asks and relief surged through her. Ah, so she's not the only petty one.
"Yep. It gets pretty annoying too, seeing your best friends get all lovey dovey while you just got to look away. Morgana doesn't even want to tag along whenever Ryuji and Ann want to drag us somewhere together, though that just may have more to do with Ann." Akira paused for a second. "I was hoping we'd get all lovey dovey now too," he uttered quickly and Makoto felt her face flush at the small admission.
"But anyway," Akira continued. "I get how it feels. And, I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you feel like a fourth wheel and I'm sure Ryuji and Ann didn't want to either."
"It's alright. I'm sorry for being like this and ruining your fun and the date."
"You didn't ruin it. And you know, " Akira said, walking back to the Karaoke bar with his arm still around her, dragging her with him. There was a tint of mischief in his voice. "There's still time."
"But I already said I'll--"
"It's not a big deal, I'm sure they won't mind." Akira interrupted, pushing the doors open, and flashed her a grin. "One song?"
"No."
"Fine, but you're still coming with me. I'm not dealing with that shit all by myself," he said pointing towards their booth and Makoto saw Ann perched on her boyfriend's lap and they were bickering loudly per usual, most likely about Ryuji having to sing with Ann. Makoto found it rather jarring, how open those two were, and she understood how Akira must feel when it's just the three of them. She suddenly didn't feel as left out when she thought about it like that.
"And also… don't hesitate on anything. Like we're all friends here, and you shouldn't have to feel awkward around us." Akira said before they approached their booth. Makoto stayed quiet for a moment before taking a deep breath and sighing.
"I'll try." She said finally, and managed a smile along with that. Akira returned the smile and brought themselves over to the other pair.
"Makoto! I thought you left!" Ann exclaimed, looking up from her bantering with her boyfriend at the other girl. She looked happy to see Makoto was back though, and so did Ryuji.
"Well, I asked Sis if I could stay a bit longer and she agreed." Makoto said. She still felt uneasy, but she supposed it wouldn't hurt to stay a bit longer, if only so that Akira wouldn't have to be by himself with these two. She knows now how unexciting it is to be an extra wheel. Akira sat down in his seat, pulling Makoto with him.
"Aw hell yeah dude, that's awesome!" Ryuji exclaimed, grinning and nearly shoving Ann off his lap, earning himself a smack at the back of his head. That didn't seem to deter him though as he asked "Are ya gonna sing? Ann's been buggin' me to sing with her and I think--"
"Nice try, Ryuji." Akira smiked at blonde friend and the girls giggled.
"Yeah Ryuji, you're not getting out of this one so easily!" Ann said burrying her face in Ryuji's neck.
"Damn it… fine." Ryuji muttered, feigning annoyance but anyone could tell by the pink of his cheeks and upwards tug of his lips was that he was anything but annoyed with the arrangement. "But ya still gotta show some pipes too, Makoto."
Akira started to speak up. "No she doesn't--"
"I would love to." Makoto said. Everyone's eyes widened, including hers, but she didn't take it back. It was a slip of a tongue, but she didn't want to be a damper again, especially since Ann and Ryuji looked estatic and began flipping through the song book again for them to choose a song, for her most likely. Akira turned to her, surprised.
"Are you sure you want to? I mean, you don't have to, you know." He began quietly but Makoto smiled at him.
"Poisitive. And you were right. Maybe I should just be more open with all of you." Makoto said and Akira seemed to be satisfied with that. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
Makoto knew she wasn't able to ever fit in with her peers, regardless of the context of Phantom Thieves, or schoolmates, or double dates. But she had to put in some effort into doing so.
And if she could put effort in the first two, then she could put effort into this. She knows it, and Akira does so too.
By this point Ann had stood up and made her way infront of Makoto, leabing over and pointing to a song in the book which made Akira chuckle as Makoto sputtered.
"I'm not singing that!"