Chapter Text
It all started when Wooyoung accidentally kissed San. They were fooling around and Wooyoung wanted to give San a kiss on his cheek, but of course San had to turn his head and you can guess what happened then. San laughed it off, joked about it, teased Wooyoung about his soft lips and then acted as if it was nothing. Wooyoung… Wooyoung felt like he was going to die right there when he felt his heart stop beating for a second, only to beat faster afterwards. He felt butterflies in his stomach and he felt hot and cold at the same times. Wooyoung knew at that moment that he had fallen for San and god, he hated himself for that. How could he fall in love with San? San was too perfect, he would never feel the same way. Days passed and San seemed to completely forget the little incident. Wooyoung was losing his mind. Staying close to San became harder and harder. It came to the point that San would just glance at him and Wooyoung’s knees would tremble, his heart would skip a beat and his cheeks would turn a shade of pink. When San danced, moving his body to the beat so beautifully and sinfully, Wooyoung didn’t want anything else but to push San against a wall and kiss him until they both ran out of breath. But San didn’t feel the same way, he would never accept him. He would probably be disgusted and hate him. Wooyoung decided that it was better for him to distant himself from San, hoping that these feelings would go away. He started talking less to him, going out less, basically avoiding him. San wasn’t stupid, of course he noticed this. He kept asking himself why Wooyoung was acting like that and even confronted him about it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Wooyoung had answered, which saddened and at the same time angered San. “Fine.” San had said. ‘Two can play that game, Wooyoung’ and that’s how once very close friends ended up being like strangers to each other.
* * *
“Okay guys listen up”, Jongho said while throwing his sweaty shirt somewhere in the corner. “Our competition is in two weeks, we have trained hard for these past few months and we know we can do this! I believe in all of you!”
“Shouldn’t Hongjoong be the one to give us a pep-talk?” Yunho laughed, which earned him a towel in his face from Jongho.
“Very emotional, Jongho. But we know we are the best. We will win easily”, Mingi said cockily, joking of course.
“Oh eww. The fuckboy jumped out”, Yeosang, who had just entered the dressing room said, pushing Mingi slightly aside.
“Oh eww. The mister know it all entered the chat”, Wooyoung fired at Yeosang.
“My man”, Mingi laughed and hugged Wooyoung. Yeosang rolled his eyes. “Just get married already, geez”, San said clearly pissed off. “Excuse me”, Hongjoong said and looked at San. Mingi then let go of Wooyoung and walked towards Hongjoong. “You know you’re the only one for me, right?” Mingi said leaning in. “Yeosang was right, you’re really quite the fuckboy today”, Hongjoong said sassly and walked past him towards the showers. “Oh, fuck he’s mad. Hongjoong waait!” And with that Mingi ran after Hongjoong.
“I bet you 10 bucks that they’re secretly dating”, Jongho said. “Congrats, you’ve finally caught up on the news”, Yunho clapped sarcastically.
“Huh? Wait is it confirmed? Are they really together?” Seonghwa, who finally finished his burger, asked. “No, but it’s so obvious”, Yunho answered. “I just need some proof to confirm it.”
“Wow, Yunho. Ever considered working for Dispatch?” Wooyoung laughed while pulling off his shirt. He threw his dirty shirt in his bag and continued to look for his soap and some clean clothes. While doing so, he felt someone watching him and when he turned around he locked eyes with San.
Wooyoung would be lying if he said he didn’t feel anything. In fact, ever since the two have stopped talking the feelings became worse. Instead of feeling relieved he wasn’t close to him anymore, he felt sadder than ever. Other people were hugging and kissing San, laughing at his stupid jokes instead of him. Wooyoung used to be the one San would run to when he was struggling, even if it was because he had lost one of his teddy bears. Damn, Wooyoung had never thought that it was possible to love and miss someone so much. Wooyoung realized he had been looking at San for too long and finally looked away.
In the shower, he took all the time in the world. He wanted to be alone for as long as he could to clear his mind. After half an hour or so (he probably spent a good hour in the shower but he didn’t really care), he was done showering. He put on some clean boxers and some black sweatpants. “Fuck”, he cursed when he couldn’t find his shirt. He must have dropped it somewhere when he was walking towards the showers. It’s all San’s fault for messing with his mind.
When Wooyoung walked into the dressing room, everyone else had already left. Wooyoung sighed in relief and started to look for his shirt. He really needed his time alone.
“Looking for something?” Suddenly a voice behind him asked, causing him to jump in surprise.
Wooyoung turned around to face him. “Maybe”, he answered. San laughed dryly. Wooyoung then noticed the shirt San was holding.
“I remember giving this one to you on your birthday”, San started.
‘Please don’t’ Wooyoung thought. He didn’t know if he could handle this situation without breaking down.
“You were so happy about it, running around showing it to everyone like a little kid”, San continued. “It was amusing I had never seen you like that. Even though it was just a shirt”, San laughed.
‘It wasn’t the shirt you dumb fuck it was because I got it from you!’, Wooyoung wanted to yell at him. Instead he replied with “Yeah, I remember!”
San then handed him the shirt. “You should wear a sweater or a hoodie or something. You’ll get sick otherwise.”
“Thanks mom”, Wooyoung rolled his eyes but laughed a little, while putting on the shirt. San smiled too, showing his cute dimples.
This was the first time in a while that they had had a kinda normal conversation and Wooyoung loved it. He wished he could talk to San forever.
“What happened between us, Wooyoung?” San asked with a soft voice while looking him in the eyes.
Wooyoung thought San had never been prettier than right now. His pale flawless skin, his raven hair with red highlights and his beautiful dark eyes could make everyone fall for him.
“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me everything, why are you so distant? I’m tired of us acting like strangers”, San said. You could hear the sadness and desperation in his voice. Wooyoung’s heart broke seeing San like this.
“I..” Wooyoung started, but he couldn’t say a word. San took his hands in his own. “Wooyoung, answer me”, he almost begged.
Should he tell him? Should he confess his feelings? Admit that he loves him so much his heart aches every time he smiles, that even the slightest touch could make his body burn, that he wants to feel San’s lips on his again, that the little kiss meant so much to him?
Wooyoung took a deep breath, closed his eyes and opened them again.
“San”, he started. “I don’t know what to say”, he started. “I mean I do know, I just don’t know how..”
“It’s okay, just tell me”, San squeezed his hands slightly, looking at him with those eyes filled with hope.
Breathe, Wooyoung.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“I’m in-”
San’s phone interrupted Wooyoung’s confession. San took out his phone and Wooyoung glanced at the name of the person calling him. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that, because his heart shattered at the name.
“I’m sorry”, San apologized before answering the phone. “Hey Soojin”, San answered. Wooyoung did notice how happy San sounded while talking to her.
“… Oh really? Ah it got too hot last night I must have forgotten to take it with me when I left”, San said laughing. Wooyoung’s mind was going wild.
What was going on?
Was he at Soojin’s last night?
What did he mean it got too hot last night?
What the fuck happened last night?
“No, no you don’t need to wash it. I’ll come and pick it up later. I’m sorry for the mess we made last night. Hope your parents don’t hate me.”
Wooyoung felt like dying. He didn’t want to think about what San could possibly mean, but he couldn’t help it. Hearing the person you love talk about a night he spent with someone else, you’d think the same way.
“I was loud? Don’t lie you were the one screaming”, San laughed.
In that moment, Wooyoung’s heart shattered in pieces leaving him completely empty. He didn’t listen to what San was saying anymore. Wooyoung was so broken that he couldn’t even cry. That’s how fucked up he felt.
San glanced at Wooyoung and noticed the dull expression on his face. “Soojin I’ll call you when I come to pick up my jacket”, and with that he ended the call.
“Wooyoung”, San called.
Wooyoung didn’t react.
“Wooyoung”, San called again.
This time Wooyoung looked up. His eyes were so saddening, but then they suddenly changed and no emotion could be seen in his eyes. San grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry, last night Soojin and I-” “Whatever”, Wooyoung interrupted him harshly, suprising San and himself.
San ignored it and tried to talk to him again. He was so close to get him to open up. “Wooyoung, you were saying something before Soojin called”, San said. Gosh, Wooyoung was starting to hate that name more and more.
“Really? I don’t think so.” Wooyoung said nonchalantly. San was starting to get frustrated by the whole situation. He didn’t even realize he started to pinch Wooyoung’s hand so much it was starting to hurt.
“Don’t you fucking dare to do this again. Why won’t you just tell me what I did wrong? Why do yoU HATE ME SO MUCH?” San didn’t realize he was speaking louder and louder. Wooyoung pulled his hand back. “See you in the dorm.”
He grabbed his bag and walked towards the door. Before he could exit, he felt San grab his arm.
“If you leave, I swear I won’t talk to you ever again. This will be the last time I’ll try to talk to you. So I’m begging you, please talk to me now. I miss you, Wooyoung”, San’s voice cracked.
Hearing San’s voice made Wooyoung break down.
‘You don’t understand, San. I can’t tell you. You won’t understand. You don’t love me like I love you. I’m sorry’ Wooyoung said it all in his head. It took him everything to shake off San’s hand and walk out of the room. Once he left, the tears started to roll down his cheeks like waterfalls. “I’m so sorry”, he cried, but of course San didn’t hear it. Wooyung didn’t hear San calling his name while crying either.
It was around 8PM when Wooyoung walked into the dorm. The boys were busy watching some random show on TV. Wooyoung didn’t bother to say anything and walked towards his own room.
“Wooyoung, where have you been?” Yunho asked, when he noticed Wooyoung climbing up the stairs. “I went out for a walk, needed to clear my mind”, Wooyoung answered. He didn’t completely lie. Yunho knew there was more behind it, but he didn’t pressure him to talk. “Rest well, you look terrible”, Yunho laughed. “But seriously, if there’s anything not right, we’re here for you!” Wooyoung only nodded.
Once in his room, he broke down again. And then again. He didn’t know for how long he had been crying, but he decided that he had enough. He needed to get out of here. Wooyoung couldn’t handle to keep this secret to himself anymore. He hated the fact San and him had grown apart, but knowing that San didn’t want to talk to him anymore and probably hated him, hurt him more than anything else. Wooyoung grabbed his suitcase from under his bed, dropped everything he owned in it and left his room. He checked the time and saw that it was already 11PM. Damn, he had locked himself up for three hours. He could still hear the TV was on, but his friends had already fallen asleep. He laughed a little at the sight of Jongho sleeping with his head on the floor and his legs on the couch. He’s going to regret sleeping in that position. Wooyoung took a last glance at them, before leaving the place.
* * *
“AH! My neck”, Jongho cried. “Fuck, my back is killing me”, Yeosang, who also woke up, said.
“Guys, what time is it”, Yunho yawned.
“It’s like 1AM”, Yeosang answered, while checking his phone.
“why are we awake at this hour?Fucking Hongjoong and Mingi went to their beds and let us sleep on the couch”, Yunho sighed rubbing his nape.
“At least you slept on the couch. I was sleeping on the damn floor”, Jongho said.
“Where’s Seonghwa?” Yeosang asked.
“Here!” The said boy walked in with a mug of warm tea. “I had already woken up so I made myself some tea. Then I heard you guys talking.” Seonghwa gave the mug to Yeosang. “Here you go! It will make you sleep better” Yeosang smiled at him sweetly “Thanks!”
“Ehh? What about us?” Jongho asked, pointing at himself and Yunho. “Yeah, where is our tea?” Yunho asked.
“Go make one yourselves”, Seonghwa answered, which made Yeosang laugh.
“Ohh, so it’s gonna be like that huh? First Hongjoong and Mingi, then San and Wooyoung and now you two?” Jongho said.
“I see how it is. Yunho”, Jongho grabbed Yunho’s hand. “We’re together now.”
“I don’t think that’s how it wo-”
“Did I fucking stutter?” Jongho interrupted Yunho.
“Fine, bruh. As long as you feed me.” Yunho said.
Jongho walked towards the kitchen and Yunho followed him.
“So what do you want? Only tea? Or toast?” Jongho asked.
“I was joking! At this hour I don't feel like eating”, Yunho laughed.
“What you said about Wooyoung and San.. Is it true?” Yunho asked.
“I mean.. when I came here for the first time, I’d always see them together. I used to think they were dating actually, before I got to know you guys.” Jongho replied.
“Hmm. But have you noticed that they’re not close anymore? They don’t even talk.” Yunho said.
“Pretty sure everyone noticed. But you know them. Even if we say anything they won’t change ‘cause they’re both stubborn as hell. Especially San.” Jongho laughed.
“Speaking of, San looks dead”, Yunho said when San entered the kitchen. “San are you alright?” Yunho asked.
“What? Uhh- yeah, just can't sleep” San said.
“Aii, do you want some warm tea? You look paler than normally”, Jongho asked.
“Okay”, San answered and sat down on one of the chairs.
“Why are y'all up at this hour? And why are you guys so loud?” Hongjoong, who had been woken up by the boys, asked when he entered the kitchen.
“Get tf out”, Jongho sniffed.
“Why so bitter?” Hongjoong pouted.
“Don’t mind him, he had a bad sleep”, Yunho chuckled.
“Aww, I’m sorry for not waking you up to go to your own room. You guys looked so peacefully”, Hongjoong apologized.
“Yeah, right! You just wanted to be with Min-” “So, guys shall we eat? Feeling quite hungry right now” Mingi interrupted Jongho before he would say something embarrassing.
“I’ll see what I can do! It's pretty late to eat right now but gotta feed my childeren” Hongjoong laughed and started to work in the kitchen.
“I’ll help”, Mingi offered. “Also, San you look dead.” Mingi joked.
San only glared at him so Mingi stopped teasing him, when he realized the boy wasn’t in the mood right now. He sent a questioning look at Hongjoong, who only shook his head.
“Can someone call Wooyoung? The boy needs to eat”, Seonghwa said all of a sudden, “I haven’t seen him since yesterday, is he alright?”
"But it's 1AM? He's probably in his best sleep right now!" Yunho said.
“I’ll go check on him”, Yeosang stood up from his chair.
“Anyone else wants scrambled eggs like Mingi?” Hongjoong asked.
“Nooo, I want boiled eggs”, Jongho whined.
“ Mingi turn on the cooker for the whining baby”, Hongjoong laughed.
“Heey! I’m not a baby”, Jongho protested.
“You were literally born yesterday!” Yunho fired
“Yunho, as my boyfriend, you’re really dissapointing me. I want to break up.”
“But we weren’t evEN TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE-”
“GUYS! I can’t find Wooyoung!” Yeosang ran into the kitchen breathlessly.
It went quiet for a moment. Even San, who hadn’t shown any sign of life ever since he walked into the kitchen, also looked up at Yeosang.
“The dorm ain’t that big, what do you mean you can’t find him?” Jongho asked, laughing, but when he saw Yeosang’s terrified face, he stopped immediately.
“Okay, guys let’s not freak out. I saw him enter the dorm. He said he was going to sleep because he was tired. Maybe he went for a walk or something?” Yunho said.
“Really? At 1AM? And His bed seemed untouched though. And we all know Wooyoung never makes his bed.” Yeosang said panicking.
San knew Wooyoung like no other. He knew that Wooyoung could make stupid decisions when his mind was a mess. Without hesitating, San ran towards Wooyoung’s room, hoping that Yeosang was wrong and that Wooyoung was just sleeping peacefully, but when he opened the door, the room was emptier than ever. San was freaking out too much to notice that Yunho had followed him to the room.
“Wooyoung”, San’s voice was only a whisper, close to break down.
“San”, Yunho put his arm on San’s shoulder, which woke up San from his trance.
“Yunho, where did he go?” San asked, tears already forming in his eyes.
“Calm down, okay? He’s fine! Don’t make dumb assumptions! He’ll be back in a minute or so!”
San didn’t believe him. He walked towards the closet and opened it, only to find it empty, except for an old shirt and some ripped jeans.
He then checked under Wooyoung’s bed, knowing that Wooyoung kept his suitcases there, but just like he feared, they were gone too.
“Yunho”, San cried, “It’s my fault!” San couldn’t stop his tears from falling down.
“Sssh, San, it’s not your fault, okay? It’s not!” Yunho tried to comfort him, not knowing what the crying boy in his arm was talking about.
The other boys had heard the conversation so they also rushed towards Wooyoung’s room. The empty closet and San crying on the floor explained enough.
“Still no answer”, Hongjoong sighed and put his phone down. “Same here”, Mingi sighed. The boys were now sitting in the living room, making failed attempts to call Wooyoung. San was just staring in front of him, while Yunho rubbed his back to comfort him.
“Guys, shouldn’t we contact his parents?” Yeosang asked.
“And tell them what, exactly? ‘Hey, I know you’re currently on the other side of the world, but just wanted to let you know that your son is missing and we have no fucking idea where he is. Have a nice day’” Jongho said sarcastically.
“Your sarcasm isn’t really helping”, Seonghwa glared at him.
“What are we supposed to do then? Sit back and wait for him to return? Let’s call the police then”, Yeosang said.
“What? Absolutely not!” Jongho said.
“What if he has been kidnapped? Or drugged? Or assaulted? Should we wait until the police comes to tell us that they found his dead bo-”
“Yeosang, that’s enough!” Hongjoong said sternly.
“I-I’m sorry”, Yeosang apologized to Jongho.
“No, you’re right! He could be in danger for all we know. Maybe we should call the cops or something”, Jongho sighed and sat down, putting his head in his hands.
“Guys, chill out, okay? He’s not in danger! Let’s just calm down a second. First of all, we need to know when he has left.” Seonghwa said.
“Since none of us saw him leave, I’m guessing he left while we were asleep?” said Mingi.
“Most likely. I’d suggest to look at the footage of the security cameras at the entrance, to find out”, Yunho spoke.
“I’ll text the owner then.” Hongjoong took out his phone again.
“San, you need to rest”, Yunho then said, when he felt San trembling. San wanted to go against it, but Yunho’s look told him he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, so he followed Yunho.
“Try to sleep a bit, okay? We will find him. He’s fine, trust me”, Yunho smiled reassuringly. San only shook his head.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until he’s back. I’m such a fucking idiot. I shouldn’t have confronted him like that”, San was crying again.
“What do you mean?” Yunho asked.
“After the shower, I waited for him to finish so I could talk to him in private. I asked him why he didn’t talk to me anymore. I tried to get him to talk to me again, but he didn’t. S-so, So I said that if he wouldn’t talk to me, I would never want to see him again and--” “Ssh, it’s fine, San! It’s okay!” Yunho hugged the crying boy.
“If the reason Wooyoung ran away, is because of this problem between you two, then it’s best if you tell me why you guys have been like strangers for the past month.” Yunho said.
San took a deep breath.
“We kissed”, he finally said.
Yunho’s eyes widened. “You- what?”
“I mean- not really, we were fooling around. Wooyoung leaned in and I turned my head and then it happened. It was just a little kiss, nothing much… but ever since, Wooyoung has been distant. He probably hated me after that and now I just made it worse.”
“But- It was just an accident! Why would he hate you? Why make such a big deal out of it if it meant nothing?” Yunho asked, but when San looked up at him, with sad and broken eyes, he finally understood.
“It did mean something to you..” he said.
“I-I hate myself so much for ruining our friendship”, San sobbed.
“San, no! Calm down, okay? You didn’t ruin it! You two just need to talk it out”, Yunho said back.
“I tried! Multiple times. But like I told you everytime he almost opens up, he puts up his walls again and turns his back!”
“What even- San, listen. Tell me everything that happened in the dressing room!”
“I went to talk to him. Asked him why we weren’t close anymore, why he was so distant. When I held his hands, I felt him open up again. I saw the old Wooyoung. The Wooyoung that I love. He told me he wanted to tell me but he didn’t know how to, he said. He was going to say something, but then- then Soojin called and after that he turned cold again.” San sighed, drying his cheeks with his sleeves.
“Wait a second, he was opening up to you, but he stopped… after you talked to Soojin?” Yunho asked.
“Yeah”, San said looking at Yunho.
Yunho rubbed his forehead. “San, you told me you tried to talk to him several times, but he closed up everytime. What happened the moment right before he did that?” Yunho asked.
San thought. “Uhh- When we went out for dinner, I asked him about it, but then I remember meeting Soojin, so we talked a little. After that Wooyoung was pissed off for some reason. A week later, when I thought everything had cooled down, I asked him again at the library, but then Soojin called me to help her find her book and when I had found it, Wooyoung was gone. And then after biology class, Wooyoung was the one who wanted to talk to me, but I asked him if it could wait because Soojin and I had to work on something together. After that he started to ignore me completely and I don’t know why! Gosh, he must really hate me.”
It went quiet for a moment and then Yunho spoke. “Wow”, Yunho said, “I knew you could act dumb, but I didn’t think you would be this stupid!”
“What?” San asked confused.
“He doesn’t hate you, you idiot! He’s in love with you!!” Yunho almost screamed.
“What are you talking about? Of course he isn’t!”
“San, are you fucking blind? He closed up because of Soojin! He was jealous of her! He probably thinks you love her, that’s why he has been avoiding you! Which is understandable, since everytime he tried to confess, she showed up and you seemed to completely forget about him!” Yunho pushed San slightly.
“B-but hold up! Why didn’t he tell me then? Didn’t he see how much I care about him?” San asked confused.
“No, because both of you are blind bitches! I can’t believe this is actually happening. You two are like those characters in a terrible drama, who are obviously in love but keep pushing each other away because of your dumb way of thinking.” Yunho laughed.
San stood up from his bed and grabbed Yunho’s shoulders. “Are you sure he loves me back?” He asked.
“More sure than I am about my own name”, Yunho chuckled. San pulled him in a tight hug, which surprised Yunho a little, but he hugged him back.
“Guys, I got mr. Kim on the phone.” Hongjoong said, entering the room. “He told me that Wooyoung left the dorm around 11PM. Seonghwa then said to check what buses and/or trains travelled around that hour. Only the last train travels to Chuncheon.” Hongjoong informed the guys.
Chuncheon, that sounded familiar to San.
“Ohmygod, I Know where he is!!” San jumped up. "I know where my Wooyoung is!"
A/N
Part two coming soon! Part 2 will be all about WOOSAN ❤
Hope you guys liked it!
Thanks for reading and I love you a lot!