Chapter Text
Part One
Moments come and go
Damage is expected
Hold it. Cherish it.
It’s been a solid two weeks since Auston came out to Mitch, told him he liked him and subsequently had his greatest fear fulfilled. He hasn’t spoken to Mitch since then, keeping it to short sentences “hello”, “goodbye” and “nice goal.” The guys have definitely noticed that something’s up, and there’s no way that Mitch hasn’t at least implied what went down that night to Patty – judging by the amount of times Auston’s had to shoot down Patty’s attempts at talking to him.
Auston’s lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling when a loud knock on the door interrupts his brooding thoughts. He groans, rolling off the bed and onto the floor before dragging himself out to the front door to greet whoever it is. He sighs internally when he stares through the peep hole and a nervous looking Mitch stands shuffling foot to foot in front of the door. In a fit of confidence that comes from nowhere, Auston yanks the door open, startling Mitch.
“What do you want?” Auston asks, harsher than he intended to.
Mitch flinches and then pushes himself past Auston and into the apartment.
“You’re mad at me.” Mitch states, looking Auston right in the eyes.
“N-no I’m not.” Auston starts to say but Mitch talks over him.
“You’re completely right to be mad at me. I handled that whole thing wrong and you probably think I’m like homophobic or whatever and that’s completely untrue-”
“Mitch?”
“-but I guess I didn’t show you enough because I’m completely fine with you being gay and I’m-“
“Mitch.”
“-actually super flattered that you like me and-“
“MITCH!”
Mitch flinches.
“What’re you saying?” Auston asks.
Mitch looks down at his shoes sheepishly, and does that thing where he bites his lip every time he’s deep in thought.
“I’ve been a shitty friend, Auston.” Mitch says. “You told me you were gay and that you liked me and I just shot you down. I didn’t think about how hard that must’ve been for you, and I miss us being like we used to be.”
Mitch watches Auston with his bright blue eyes and Auston can’t miss the sincerity in the them. Auston’s never been a particularly touchy person but he launches himself at Mitch before he can even stop himself.
“I forgive you, Mitch.” he says, head buried in Mitch’s neck.
*
Mitch takes the whole “going to be a better friend” way too seriously. It’s almost at the point where Auston wants to rip his hair out of his head every time Mitch tries to goad him into a conversation about boys.
“Mitch, I have Cherry to talk about boys with.” Auston says to him one day, pausing the video game. “You don’t have to talk boys with me. Just be my friend.”
Mitch nods sheepishly, pulls the controller back into his hands and resumes the game.
“I can do that.”
It’s several hours later; the sky has dimmed to a dark, cloudy hue and Auston tries to stifle a yawn as he chases the zombie down on the screen. Beside him, Mitch sighs and fiddles with his controller, pausing the game.
“You good, Marns?” Auston asks, studying the look on Mitch’s face. His brows are furrowed and his mouth stretched into a thin line, like he’s deep in thought.
“Have you considered using like, Grindr or something?” Mitch says after a minute.
“What the fuck, Mitchy?” and look, Auston knows Mitch is only trying to help but is it too hard for him to just let Auston deal with his own shit.
“I’m just saying, maybe you should give it a try. Y’know?”
“Because there are so many guys in Toronto who have no idea who the fuck I am.” Auston says dryly, he can date when he’s dead.
“There’s gotta be at least one guy on a farm in the middle of nowhere who has no idea who you are but is into dudes just as much as you are.”
“Give me a call when you fuckin’ find him then.”
*
Cherry
Today 4:21pm
Srsly bro. im with mitch on this
one. Ya gotta experience the
dating pool.
Ugh
C’mon man. Just go on like one
date and if it doesn’t work ill
get off ur ass about it
Fine. I’ll do it.
But don’t forget how the last
time I took your advice it
backfired on me massively
ur still friends m8
& u love me really
*
So as stubborn as Auston likes to think he is; one conversation with Cherry is all takes to convince Auston to join up to fucking Grindr. A couple of strategic pictures of his upper body that cut out his face and hide his tattoos decorate his profile, and he very creatively sets his name to Aust in. Look nobody ever said he was a genius as this stuff. Nonetheless he’s getting hits within the first half hour of setting his profile. A shit ton of dick pics and the occasional sup babe litter his inbox; and Auston spends the next four hours swiping left and right on his phone.
Eventually his finger stops on Gabe. Dark hair, blue eyes and a body to die for. Gabe’s profile picture shows him curled up in a swinging chair reading a book that Auston can’t quite catch the name of. He’s cute, that’s for sure. And his profile quite clearly implies that sports are a huge no-no. Perfect.
HI.
Hey.
I love your profile.
What’s the book you’re reading?
Oh wow. Thanks man <3
The book’s called The
Great Gatsby. Your DP looks pretty
cute too although I
wish I could see your face.
Haha. I think I saw the
movie once. Maybe I’ll show you when
we get to know each other better ;)
So Gabe is like really, really nice. Like super fucking nice and Auston might be in love with him after only three hours of texting. It turns out Gabe is a linguistics student at some university that Auston’s never heard of but he’s 99% is super fucking prestigious. He also works part-time in a café; his favourite colour is purple; and he has a cat named Sally.
Naturally, Auston fields all other messages for the next few weeks and only talks to Gabe whenever he can – which means anytime he isn’t on the rink. He’s on his phone 24/7 which prompts some chirping from the guys on the team.
“Gotta a girl at home, eh Matts?” Kadri says, shoving a sweaty jersey over Auston’s head one day.
“Nah, bet she’s a hot blonde ready for the D!” Brownie says because all he thinks about is sex.
And all Auston can do is try to stop his cheeks from reddening as the chirps get more and more sexual.
Fucking straight guys.
He 100% definitely tries to avoid both Patty and Mitch’s eyes when he finally stands up from his seat and pockets his phone.
“Fuck you all.” he yells, flipping the finger up at the team as he exits the locker room. The text comes through after Thursday’s practice. Auston’s sitting his car, engine revving as he scrolls through Spotify to find the perfect playlist when his phone vibrates in his hand.
Gabe
Today: 4:48pm
So I was thinking…
Are you free this Sunday?
Around 7?
Hey, I’m free then,
Why?
Wanna go for dinner and a movie?
Absolutely!
Auston feels his heart start to race and a smile beginning to form on his face as he flicks the car into Drive and pulls out of the parking lot.
His mind picturing Gabe and his blue eyes in a dark suit.
Gabe sitting across from him; smiling and happy.
Gabe’s voice, which Auston imagines to be soft and velvety, whispering his name in his ear.
A pleasant shudders runs through his body.
*
Before Auston even realizes Sunday rolls around, and he’s rummaging through his closet with Mitch trying to find the perfect outfit.
“Fuck, is it a shirt and tie kind of place?”
“What if he doesn’t like ripped jeans? Mitch!”
“Fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck! Auston yells as he throws down another shirt onto the ever growing pile onto the floor.
“Dude, chill.” Mitch says, laying a hand on Auston’s shoulder. “Don’t freak, he’ll like you no matter what you wear.”
The panic loosens ever so slightly in Auston’s stomach, and he takes a seat slowly on the bed, and watches as Mitch rummages through the rest of the items in his closest and pulls out some simple black jeans and a grey shirt.
“Here, simple and smart. You can’t go wrong with it.”
“Thanks Mitchy.”
*
7 o’clock rolls around and Auston finds himself an hour outside of Toronto, and in front of a small hipster-like restaurant. He lingers outside of the window for a little bit before a familiar tuft of dark hair catches his eyes.
Gabe.
He rushes inside the restaurant and flustered and trying desperately to seem calm, cool and collected. Gabe is scrolling through his phone when Auston reaches him. He’s even more beautiful in person. Taking a deep breath, Auston gently taps Gabe on the shoulder.
“Gabe?” he asks.
Gabe smiles and stands up to shake his hand.
“Hey, Austin right?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Nice to finally see your face.” Gabe says to him, smiling. Auston is most definitely not swooning.
Gabe’s voice is exactly as Auston imagined it. Smooth and velvety. Rich like honey, and matches his personality.
They both take a seat at the table, and Auston is absolutely, most definitely taken with Gabe.
They’re sat in silence for a while; both unsure of what to say to each other when Gabe finally talks.
“So, are you like out yet?” he asks, eyes locking with Auston’s.
Auston’s face burns under Gave’s gaze and he looks down at his hands and fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist.
“Uh, not really. I’m out to like three people at the minute.” he replies eventually.
Auston carefully looks up into Gabe’s eyes just in time to see them darken slightly.
“Listen, man.” Gabe says, finally. “I’m not looking to be someone’s dirty little secret – “
“It’s not like – “
“Here’s some money for the ride out but I’m not about that life.” Gabe says, shoving a fistful of cash onto the table, and standing up from his seat.
“Gabe, wait!” Auston yells out to him, trying desperately to avoid the gaze of the other customers. Grabbing the cash off the table, Auston runs out the door trying to catch up to Gabe.
He catches him up just outside the door, and Auston can feel the tears prickle up behind his eyes and the rejection seep throughout his body.
“Please?”
“I’m sorry, Austin.”
Auston sighs, and quickly shoves the cash back into Gabe’s hand before he turns away from Gabe and tries to stop the tears from falling from his eyes.
“It was nice to meet you.” he hears Gabe yell from behind him.
*
“How’d the date go?” Mitch asks him when he picks him up before morning skate.
“Ditched me at the restaurant when he found out I wasn’t out.” Auston whispers, turning away from Mitch and looking out through the car window. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
“I’m sorry, buddy.”
*
The next dates go pretty much the same way.
Trevor and his master’s degree in philosophy stand him up at the movie theatre.
James and his motorbike don’t want a relationship with someone who works away a lot.
Mike just wants sex.
Karl the fashion major takes one look at his face and decides it isn’t worth the stress.
And soon enough the playoffs swing round and Auston doesn’t have time to go on failed dates anymore. He’s too busy trying desperately to get one point, just one goal in the series against Boston. Too busy trying to ignore the pain in his shoulder; the scrutiny from the Toronto media and the nagging from his mother and sisters about his lack of girlfriend.
By the time the series has ended all Auston wants to do is to go home to Arizona and sleep. He wants to forget about all the failed dates, the failed series and prepare to live a life a celibacy and forced heterosexuality.
Tender and broken
Love beckons at the gate
Be weary of it
Like always during the off-season; the Scottsdale Golf Course that Auston frequents is devoid of anyone his age on a Tuesday morning. The course instead being taken up by white haired men in tartan bragging about their trophy wives or complaining that they have yet to receive the latest club set. Auston sighs as he hears the man next to him, Gerald or something, complain about the “fucking fags taking over the neighbourhood.”
“Well said, Gerald, well said.” the equally white-haired man beside Gerald agrees while lining up to the tee.
Auston sighs and shakes his head; in an attempt to drown the two old men out, he shoves his earphones in, and lines up for the shot. He grips the club tightly, swings as hard as he can picturing Gerald’s face on the golf ball.
Ping.
The Gerald ball goes flying off into the distance, more than likely missing the hole he was aiming for. A bead of sweat drips down his forehead and he brings a hand up to wipe it; the song ends in his ear just in time for him to catch the end of Gerald’s friend’s speech.
“ – ould be castrated the whole bloody lot of them, I tell you Gerald.”
And before Auston even has time to think about what he’s doing he’s slamming his club on the ground and stomping his way over to Gerald and his friend.
“Fucking say that again, I dare you.” Auston says, snarling as he towers over the two old men.
Auston doesn’t miss the way shock and fear etch their way onto the men’s faces. Their faces are red from shock and anger, and Auston takes a deep breath and a step back from them.
“Uh- god- uh yeah.” he stutters out before picking his club back up off the ground and back to his cart.
“I need a fucking drink.” he whispers under his breath as he brings a hand across his face, and heads back to the golf course bar.
*
The golf course bar is as fancy as the rest of the place is, which means Auston feels very much out of place sitting at the mahogany bar surrounded by old, rich white men. Normally he’d never step foot in here; with the drinking age and shit like that but he needs a fucking drink, and not to toot his own horn or anything but he definitely looks older than 21.
Auston slides up the bar; skillfully slotting in between two older women with pink polo shirts on, and an old man with a salt and pepper beard nursing what looks like a scotch.
The bartender’s back is towards Auston and all he can see is some broad shoulders and brown curly hair. The man’s busy tending to some other customers further down the bar; flipping bottles around for the couple he’s serving. The laughter from the couple and the bartender float down the bar and a warm feeling tingles through Auston like it hasn’t in days. Suddenly the bartender does a twizzle amidst his performance and his green eyes catch Auston’s if only for a second. A blush immediately heats up Auston’s face and he pulls his phone out to try and take his mind away from the fast beat of his heart and the smile that forms on his face.
A short while later a soft tap pulls Auston back to the presence and he finds himself looking into the warm green eyes of the bartender.
“Now I know you’re definitely not 21 yet.” he says, voice sounding like a thousand firefly jars tinkling.
Heat rises to Auston’s face as he tries to form words amidst the cute bartender’s cheeky smile.
“I mean-uh-few weeks I guess?”
“I mean; I’m technically not supposed to serve you at all but how does a coke sound?” the bartender says, laughing at Auston’s discomfort. “It’s on the house.”
“Oh no, I can pay for it I swear.”
“It’s no problem. Also I kind of feel bad for before so consider it an apology.”
And who is Auston to say no to that.
“Aha, thanks man.” Auston replies. “I’m Auston by the way.” he says, holding his hand out.
“Eli.”
Eli procures a glass from underneath the counter and pours some ice into it. Auston takes a moment to watch him as he fills the glass up with coke. Deep tanned skin adorned with an odd freckle or two; bright eyes shaped by dark eyelashes; and the beginnings of a sleeve tattoo on his left arm. Auston feels his heart swell up at the sight of Eli sticking his tongue out in concentration as he finishes the drink off.
“Here you go.” Eli says finally, smiling as he pushes the glass towards him.
“Thanks Eli.”
“You’re welcome.” Eli says before heading across to serve another customer. Auston definitely does not hear the two women beside him snickering together.
Auston’s not sure how long he stays sat there at the bar sipping on his coke but it’s long enough that by the time he’s finished it, the bar is significantly less busier and Eli is making his way back towards him.
He flashes Auston a quick smile before handing him a piece of paper.
“So I feel kind of bad for not being able to serve you what you want because believe me when I say you’re ridiculously cute but I kinda need to keep my job.” Eli says, suddenly seeming shyer than he had been earlier. “Anyway, it might not be your scene but I have two tickets for The Grates next Thursday, and the other one’s yours if you want it?”
“It could totally be my scene.” Auston says, trying to keep the grin from his face as Eli instantly lightens up.
“Awesome! Amazing!” he exclaims, smile wider than ever. “My number’s on the napkin there; text me! I can’t wait.”
*
Eli
Today: 5:17pm
Hey, this is Auston. Just
Thought I’d text you so you
Had my number
Holy hell. So glad you
actually texted me
How was the coke?
Brilliant!
Best coke I’ve ever had but it
Was made by an amazing guy
Damn, I’m gonna have to watch
my ego around you
;)
Eli
Today: 11:18pm
So I just listened to The
Grates and holy fuck you have
Great taste in music
Obviously my music taste is far superior xD
Hey nothing wrong with Drake!
true true
but no one can deny the
amazing vocals of the one and
only patience hodgson
ya got me there
Eli
Today: 2:13pm
Pick you up at 7?
Can’t wait for it
*
True to his word, Eli pulls up outside Auston’s house at seven on the dot. Auston had barely been able to conceal his excitement about his date in the past week and had made up some bullshit excuse about going to a concert with a friend that’s got him excited. It’s not exactly a lie but it shut his parents and sisters up from asking him.
He’s out the door with barely a word to his family and sitting in the passenger seat of Eli’s truck before he’s even registered what he’s doing.
“Hey.” he says, smiling at Eli as he pulls out of the driveway.
Eli giggles, like actually honest-to-god giggles and Auston’s heart swoons.
“Someone’s excited.”
“Excited to spend time with you.” Auston says.
It’s a relatively small venue that The Grates are playing at so they’re both in the doors within a few minutes, and Eli’s already been and gone to the bar to get them two glasses of beer. The venue is packed and there’s bodies pushing against them and forcing them closer and closer together. Close enough that there’s a sheen of sweat starting to shine on both of them and Auston can smell the mix of sweat, alcohol and cologne on Eli.
Suddenly the lights dim and the opening notes of 19-20-20 ring throughout the auditorium. There’s an upbeat atmosphere in the room as hundreds of bodies pounce up and down to the drums and guitars. Auston can feel his voice going as he and Eli scream out the lyrics to each song; jumping up and down together, sloshing their beers everywhere.
And when a slower song finally starts up, Auston turns and stares into Eli’s green eyes. Bodies growing closer and closer together until their noses are touching. And then, it feels like an explosion of fireworks in his chest as their lips finally meet.
He’s kissing Eli.
Holy fuck, he’s kissing Eli!
And Eli is kissing him back!
Eli’s lips are soft, and gentle. He tastes like beer and strawberries, an odd combination that Auston feels like he could get used to tasting. Eli’s hands are slowly creeping underneath his shirt; up over his abs and the feather-like touch of Eli’s fingers sends shivers throughout all of Auston’s body. He’s not sure how long they stand in the middle of the hectic crowd, wrapped up in the warmth of each other’s bodies, but they’re only pulled out of the kiss when the lights slam back on again and the crowd begins to clear out from the auditorium.
“You’re a charmer, you.” Eli whispers breathlessly as he pulls away from the kiss, bringing one hand up to slowly move the bits of hair that have fallen into Auston’s eyes.
“So are you.”
*
The next few weeks consist of Auston falling deeper and deeper in love with Eli. It’s almost at the point where when he’s not training he’s at the golf course, sitting in the bar while Eli has his shift. They’ve been on countless dates; to the movies, for dinner, hell they even went fishing last week.
The point is, Eli seems to get Auston like no one else does, not even Mitch. He completely understands the Auston isn’t ready to come out yet; totally gets the complexity of of his job although they haven’t discussed what they’ll do when Auston has to head back to Toronto. But they don’t need to yet, they’re both perfectly content to stay right here in the moment.
*
Mitch
Today: 9:09am
Have you decided what
and eli are going to do before
training startsback up?
Not really
dont wanna go there yet L
Aus I think you should really
Discuss it with him
I know
I’ll do it this week
Everything will work out.
I promise
Salty skin, soft lips
Trust the smile, trust the warmth
Beware the lighter
Shell’s Café has always been one of Auston’s favourite places to go in Arizona. A quaint little café on the edge of a mall strip; Shell’s was the first place the Auston took Eli to on a date. There’s just something calming about the deep blue of the walls, the mismatched furniture and the thousands of art pieces that decorate the walls. Oh, and the coffee too.
“I’m just worried, babe.” Auston says, clutching his coffee mug tighter in his hands. Eli seems to pick up on his discomfort as he reaches across the table to hold Auston’s hand.
“I trust you even if we go long distance, Love.” he says, looking deep into Auston’s eyes.
“It’s not long distance I’m worried about.” Auston sighs, fiddling with the handle of the mug with his free hand. “You deserve to be with someone who’s ready to be out, and I’m not ready yet. It would mean we couldn’t go out for little dates like this because I’m too recognisable. I mean, I haven’t even told my parents about us.”
“And you will, Auston. When you’re ready.” Eli says, before smirking ever so slightly.
“What?”
“I might be a simple golf course bartender from Arizona but I’d be a world class barista in Toronto with you.”
And Auston feels his heart swell under the fact that Eli would be willing to move to Toronto for him.
“I can’t just ask you to up and move your life here.”
“You’re not, Babe. I’m offering.”
*
There’s no more discussion about Eli moving out to Toronto for the rest of the summer, instead they continue on as if the conversation never happened. They still go on the cute dates, Eli still kisses him and holds him safe in his arms but there’s a darkness there that wasn’t before. An uncomfortable tingle that threads itself underneath Auston’s skin and piles weight on top of his chest every time Eli smiles at him. It’s not fair to leave Eli here. Not when he’s responsible for Auston’s exuberant happiness. Not when he’s the reason Auston wakes up feeling lighter than a feather and loved . And yet, he knows that bringing Eli to Toronto with him, to live together and to actually be a domestic couple – it could never work.
He tries to picture being with Eli in the same way Patty is with Christina, or Mitch is with Steph, and even Matt and Syd. He pictures waking up in the morning to Eli cooking pancakes, adopting a dog together; taking Eli to family skate and being able to cuddle him and kiss him whenever he wants. Flashes of morning cuddles, a house with both their names on the lease; date nights and Eli still being by his side even when their hair starts to grey and life’s lines have etched themselves onto their faces. He pictures golden bands around their fingers, a long aisle ahead of him lined with family, friends and teammates.
Maybe, maybe even kids one day.
Auston shakes his head in an attempt to rid the images from his head. He can’t have that. Not even despite Patty, Mitch, and Cherry’s support. The thought of coming out to the team is terrifying; to his parents and to the entire fucking NHL. Even just Mitch and Patty knowing is already too much for him to handle.
He has to end it with Eli.
*
The off season moves quicker than Auston would like it to, and holds more losses for the team that he would like to acknowledge. Marty’s gone, so has Leo and Polak. Sure, they’ve got Tavares now but the harsh nature of the business aspect of hockey settles into Auston’s reality like it hadn’t in the previous two years; he wonders, briefly, how long it’ll be until there’s only him left from his rookie year. The thought weighs him down heavier.
“Hey, what’re thinking about, Love?” Eli says, turning his head towards him. They’re laying down in the long grass of Hughes Park; jackets folded up underneath their heads and feet hooked into each other. Auston shuffles closer to Eli; brushing his arm gently against the older man’s and linking their pinkies together.
“It’s gonna be so different this year.”
“You’ll still have me.” Eli says, smiling gently and bumping their shoulders together. The weight settles even further into Auston’s chest. He has to end it with Eli. He has to do it now. End it with him, now.
This is it.
This is the moment.
This is –
“Come with me.” Auston says, mouth betraying his brain and sitting up to lean on his shoulder, gazing into Eli’s eyes.
Eli sits up taller; eyes bright and mouth smiling wide.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean I could just tell them that you’re my roommate or something?”
“Yeah then, yeah. I’d really like that.” Eli replies, laughing and leaning forward to pull Auston into a deep kiss.
“I love you, Eli.” Auston says breathlessly, pulling back from the kiss.
A stunned silence sits between them, it’s the first time either of them has said the words. Auston shifts uncomfortably under Eli’s gaze, casting his eyes away from Eli’s.
“Hey, it’s okay Aus.” Eli whispers, hand gently cupping Auston’s chin and lifting his head up to meet his eyes. “I love you too.”
*
Auston heads back to Toronto for the training camp by himself. He spends the whole four hours and thirty-minute flight staring out the window and trying to work out what to tell the guys about Eli. He’d already told his parents’ that Eli was going to move in with him sometime during the season which prompted a lot of questions; and a lot of awkward family dinners as his family questioned why Eli wanted to go to Toronto with him, since they didn’t know about his and Eli’s relationship.
Their cover was relatively simple; Eli had managed to secure himself a place the University of Toronto’s History program, and Auston had offered him a place to stay to help lessen the student loans. It was Eli’s idea to enroll himself there, explaining to Auston that the only reason he’d never done so before was because he could never afford to.
*
The first time he walks into the locker room for the start of the 2018-2019 training camp; Auston feels a mixture of excitement and nerves. The locker room is loud and boisterous as it usually is, although it lacks the loud chirping of Marty, and in its place instead, John Tavares’ loud laugh as he talks to Kadri and Mitch next to him.
Mitch catches his eye as soon as he walks into the room and smiles widely.
“Yo, Matty!” he announces to the room, as he bounces up from his stall and bombards Auston with a hug. Auston can’t help but let out a loud laugh as he hugs Mitch back with just as much enthusiasm.
“Good to see you, bud.” Patty says, coming up behind him and Mitchy. “Heard you’ve got a new roommate?”
The question throws Auston off guard; do they know that Eli is more than a roommate? How did they find out?
“Mitchy here mentioned something about it.” Patty says as he flicks Mitch over the back of his head, and Auston instantly lets out a sigh of relief.
“Uh, yeah. Just a close friend from Arizona who’s studying at of U of T.”
“Nice.” Patty says, greeting Auston with a hug. “You should invite him out for drinks with us, sometime?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ll think about it.”
The flame has been lit
Tendrils coil around your throat
Water unobtainable
Eli flies out to Toronto three games into the regular season. Auston spent majority of preseason freaking the fuck out about how to introduce Eli to the guys, and using hockey as a way to ignore all of his problems. So much so that by the time Eli has arrived in Toronto, Auston completely forgets to pick him up at the airport.
“I am so sorry, babe!” he says to Eli as soon as he pulls up at the airport pick up point two hours too late.
Eli doesn’t say anything, just furrows his brows and chucks a large purple suitcase in the trunk. He’s got the beginnings of purple bags underneath his eyes, a sheen of grease on his skin and a sharp glare directed towards Auston as he gets in the car.
“I promise that I didn’t mean to be late.” Auston tries again, fingers drumming restlessly on the steering wheel.
Again, Eli refuses to acknowledge Auston’s voice, choosing instead to glower at the wet road ahead.
“I love you; I just want you to know that.”
*
The clock ticks restlessly around the apartment. Eli has retired to the spare bedroom, barely speaking a word to Auston as he grabbed his suitcases with a huff and slammed the door shut behind him. Auston wants to go in there and hug him, tell him that he’ll be better. Eli deserves better, Auston thinks to himself as he wanders over slowly to ELi’s closed door and sits down outside of it.
There’s movement from inside the room and Eli’s muffled voice pulls Auston out from his thoughts.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me Aus.”
Auston doesn’t reply but the weight in his chest lessens slightly and he can feel a smile make its way to his face. Something about the way he can feel Eli’s presence next to him and the forgiveness in his voice makes Auston almost preen.
*
The weather is cold and wet in the cool Toronto apartment. It’s a far-cry from the Arizona heat where sweat would cling to Auston’s body as he woke up with his bedsheets pooled around his feet. No, the cool Toronto weather has him waking up with the heating on high and the thick, insulated bed sheets cocooning Auston, and this time, Eli’s warm body pressed up behind him and his arms wrapped around him tightly.
Eli’s gentle snores let out little puffs of air against Auston’s neck which sends shivers down his spine and makes all of the hairs stand up on his neck. He also notices, with a smile, that something else of Eli’s is poking him in the back.
*
By the time Auston has finished loading the bed sheets into the washing machine Eli has made them both pancakes and cups of coffee. A simple breakfast but one that leaves Auston’s cheeks aching as he smiles at the brown-haired man and kisses him good morning.
“You look so beautiful in the morning babe.” Eli says, sliding up behind him. “I almost want to fuck you right here and now.”
A blush creeps its way over Auston’s face and he smiles as he leans his head down to nibble on Eli’s lips.
“And I’d be more than happy to let you but I have training today and explaining why I can’t sit down properly is not something I’m ready to do yet.”
Eli smiles and pulls Auston in with a peck on the forehead. His hands fall to Auston’s waist and dig in ever so slightly.
“Next time you have a break then.”
Innocent Lovers
Far From Hone, Far From Help
The Fire Shall Burn