Work Text:
Title: Trust in Me
Author: phyncke
Character(s): Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond, Lindir
Rating: G
Beta(s): Aglarien
For: Slashy Valentine 2019
Note: Lord of the Rings
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they are the property of JRR Tolkien and his estate, and I have borrowed them for my own amusement and for yours I hope.
Summary: Erestor is injured and has amnesia. Glorfindel has to remind him of the love and life that they share.
Trust in Me
Erestor woke up that fated morning much as he had any other. Glorfindel was away on patrol so there was no comfortable dip on the other side of their very large bed. No eggs were frying in the pan; no toast cooking in the oven. There was no one there to make him his breakfast. He would likely make a quick cup of tea and slather some jam on a cold piece of bread and call that breakfast.
His love was much more capable in the kitchen than he so he would not attempt it. Glorfindel could make grand things in the kitchen and often would. He liked to fuss over Erestor and plan elaborate romantic meals for them together. It was quite the thing. It made Erestor feel loved and cared for. The golden-haired elf was always pestering the Imladris chef for new recipes and new delicacies he could cook for his mate so their food would not become routine, so there were always surprises in store for Erestor when he got home at night. Glorfindel would reveal his dish with a flourish and Erestor would eat with gusto.
This was not to say that Erestor did not do things for Glorfindel too. He might leave him a small gift as a surprise or a small poem in his backpack for him to read when he was away patrolling the border of Imladris. He might hide the small note in one of his socks so that he would not find it straight away and he would dab a bit of scent on it to remind him of the author. Their reunions upon Glorfindel’s return would be intense and passionate.
In these small ways, the two elves kept their love fresh and new. It never grew old. It was never routine or humdrum. Erestor always felt his heart skip a beat when Glorfindel entered a room and he knew their attraction was there from the warm look in those blue eyes whenever their eyes met. No, it never felt old or humdrum. Fresh and alive is how Erestor would describe it to anyone who asked him.
This morning was a Monday morning after a long weekend without Glorfindel. Erestor had passed the time working on contracts and reading, and listening to Lindir play in the Hall of Fire on Saturday night. He tried to be cheerful, as he knew that his mate would soon be home. He was due back from patrol the following Thursday, and that would be a joyous day. Homecomings always were. Lindir had tried out some new songs in the hall, and Erestor drank mulled wine and enjoyed the new tunes, staying well past midnight as there was no one waiting for him at home. The company was jovial and conversation interesting. Sunday was spent in the library perusing some new volumes of poetry that had been acquired from the Havens.
Erestor was not one of those people who dreaded Monday mornings. He enjoyed his work and the company of his co-workers. He was very good at his position in Imladris as Chief Counselor, and had worked his way into the position from scribe to assistant counselor, to counselor and then to the most trusted advisor position in this land. He had come to Imladris from the court of King Gil-Galad as a young elf with a recommendation from Linden’s chief librarian in his pocket, and had made much of the opportunities Lord Elrond had offered him. That sage elf had the wisdom to see in Erestor much potential, and he let Erestor flourish in his clerical ranks until he was ready to take on greater and more significant responsibility. He truly loved the work as a clerk and gained knowledge with each new position. He became an invaluable asset to Lord Elrond and an astute adviser to the Lord of Imladris, and indeed, a dear friend. They would often have meetings over tea or take dinner together to discuss a treaty or trade negotiation which needed to be understood, and Erestor always had a way of breaking things down to their simplest elements. It was his true talent. He could make the most complex treaty or contract surprisingly simple and easy to understand. Elrond relied on his Chief Counselor for this.
During his career, Erestor had met and fallen in love with the handsome, fair-haired Glorfindel, who had been reborn and come into the service of Lord Elrond. They had met during a time when they both had been much younger, and through the years they had grown to love and rely on each other. It had been almost an imperceptible love that had grown out of friendship. Erestor had helped Glorfindel deal with the adjustment of being reborn and had stayed up with him long nights just talking about what that was like. They knew everything about each other and their deepest feelings, their fears and worries. Love had come upon them slowly and almost casually so as one might not notice. And then suddenly they knew. Glorfindel had given Erestor a rose in the garden with that light in his eyes, and it seemed set from that point forward.
Today, there was much to do but Erestor always made time for tea in his office. He was never so busy as to miss that. The staff would set out the service and sometimes Elrond would join him if he had time. This morning Elrond did not appear so he must have had other duties to attend to. The tea was hot and the biscuits fresh so Erestor sat and enjoyed it all in solitude. He did daydream a bit and wonder what Glorfindel was up to in the field. He imagined him riding Asfaloth along the border and hoped there were no threats in his path. Such were the wanderings of the counselor’s mind this day before the incident occurred.
After he finished his tea, Erestor remembered that there was an obscure reference to a river basin in one of the treaties he was reviewing for Elrond, and rather than have someone fetch a map of the region, he decided to walk to the library and find the volume himself. He was well able to find it and not bother his staff with the chore. He loved the library, enjoyed looking for books, and adored doing research. He could spend hours in the library of Imladris, which boasted many fine books from all over the world. Elrond was quite proud of what they had accomplished there. He had sent his people all over Middle Earth to collect rare and unique works for the archive.
Erestor saw the book he needed on the very top shelf and wondered at the wisdom of putting the large books of bound maps up so high. He spared this a passing thought as he ascended one of the wooden step stools which were conveniently placed in each of the stacks so that the elves could ascend and reach the very top shelves. Even with this aid, Erestor had trouble reaching the top shelf and had to extend his arm to its fullest range, and was a bit wobbly on the stool. This put him in a precarious position.
He grabbed the spine of the large book and tilted it back to pull it down, but at the same time lost his purchase on the stool. At that moment the room blurred and all went akimbo to his mind’s eye. He fell back with a gasp, pulling the volume with him, landing in an unceremonious heap against the shelves behind him. He had the misfortune to hit his head on a very hard shelf on the way down. It all went black in that instant. Erestor was unconscious by the time he hit the floor. He lay crumpled on the ornate runner between the shelves, no one the wiser as of yet, as he had been the first to arrive that morning and he was the only one in the library.
----//----
The tea stood cold on Erestor’s side table and that was the first clue that all was not right with the world. Elrond lifted the pot. It was more than half full and most of the biscuits were cold on the plate. Something was definitely not right here. The treaty was open on the table and there was a half-drunk cup of tea there with a half-eaten biscuit. It was bitten and put down as though Erestor had thought of something and gone off in a hurry.
Elrond heard shouting in the library and ran that way, alarmed at what might have happened. He came upon Lindir hunched over Erestor’s very still body on the floor. His eyes took in the scene and instantly surmised what had happened. The toppled over stool, the heavy book laying open on the floor, and he realized that Erestor must have tumbled off of the stool while trying to get the maps off of the top shelf. Elrond made a mental note to speak to the librarian about shelving the heavy books so high. That was a recipe for disaster, as he could see now. He leaned over his Chief Counselor’s crumpled form and checked for broken bones in his arms and legs and then his neck. He sighed with relief as he realized that his friend was breathing normally but sported a good size welt on the back of his head, and would likely have some bruising from the fall.
“Let’s take him to the infirmary and see to him there. Go fetch the healers for a stretcher and let’s do this properly. There are no broken bones but we don’t know how hard he hit his head on the way down.”
“Yes, my lord.” Lindir took off at a run and headed for the healing wing of the house, where he conveyed all that Lord Elrond had said. Two healers came running back with him carrying a stretcher and a light blanket. They lifted Erestor slowly and transported him smoothly to the Hall of Healing on the other side of the house. It was a very clean, efficiently furnished space with all they would need to tend to the fallen elf until he awoke. They could minister to him there and have all the medicines and supplies necessary for his recovery. There was no saying when Erestor would gain consciousness. It could be sooner or it could be later. There had been no witness to his fall, so no one knew how hard he had hit his head on the shelf. It was hard enough to knock him, out so it was serious in any case.
The healers knew that Elrond would want to see to Erestor himself, but they prepared him for a full examination. They changed him out of his clothing and into a light dressing gown. He was placed first on a padded table so that Elrond could tend to his friend under better lighting. Erestor did not have any broken bones, but he had bruises along his back and a significant lump on the back of his head. Elrond ordered cold compresses every hour for the contusions and salves for the bruises on his back along the spine. He mixed up an herbal sedative combined with pain remedy to ease Erestor’s comfort and administered it to him gently while he slept, ensuring that he did not choke or gag.
“Well, my friend. You certainly did it this time. Who knew you were so clumsy?” Elrond said softly and smiled ruefully. He wished Glorfindel was here and not out patrolling the border, and if Erestor did not awaken right away, he would contact his captain directly and tell him to come home.
Once Elrond finished with Erestor, he had him moved to a private room in the Healing Wing where he would be comfortable and where the healers could check on him while he remained unconscious, however long that might be. They covered him in light bedding as the room was warmed by a wood burning stove. They kept it dimly lit so that it would not be overly bright when Erestor woke up. He would likely be sensitive to light and sound after a blow to the head, so they wanted to limit that kind of stimulation.
Hours went by and the patient still did not waken. He rested comfortably in his bed in the infirmary. The healers checked on him constantly and his Elrond sat by his side with a look of consternation on his face. There was no knowing what was going on in Erestor’s mind unless one delved there and he did not want to do that yet, and he wanted Glorfindel here by his side. That was for certain. Elrond could reach out to the reborn elf and would not delay his return from patrol. They had the ability to speak mind to mind and he would exercise that option without delay. Erestor needed his mate.
Elrond settled himself in his office, closed the door and lit a candle. He needed absolute quiet for farspeaking, the mind to mind communication between elves who had that gift. Glorfindel would hopefully be settled down for the night, somewhere out on the border and not riding Asfaloth. He did not want to surprise him and cause him any injury. It could come as a surprise to be reached this way and one did not want to assume. He chose late at night for his timing in the hopes that Glorfindel would be on his bedroll, or in front of the fire, and not in any danger. Elrond concentrated on the flames of the candle, let his mind go blank and reached out to his captain, for that familiar mind that he knew so well.
----//----
They were checking all of the hunting and patrol cabins on the border and re-stocking them with provisions so it was slow going. Glorfindel led a patrol caravan full of supplies and elves along the border of Imladris. This was vital, yet methodical work. They stopped at each cabin and checked the provisions, swept out the house, chopped firewood and replenished the food stores in the pantry there. They put in things like lembas, flour, dried meat and dried vegetables and other useful things like herbs. Items that one could make a hearty stew out of or survive on for some days. They did this each year and it was of such importance that Glorfindel went along himself. He wanted to see the state of each cabin and see if the provisions had been used. Some had and some had not. Some had been raided by varmints but that was par for the course.
This night they had fortified the cabin, but it was a balmy fall evening so they decided to camp around the site and not stay inside. They had worked steadily all day, and then made fire for dinner, and cooked a hearty soup with bread for their own dinner. One of the lads had brought a recorder to play on such nights so they were entertained and sang along to all the songs they knew until it grew late enough to sleep. Glorfindel lay on his bedroll by the fire and pulled out Erestor’s small poem. The little ditty made his heart ache with happiness. Erestor had left it wedged in his wool socks and he had found it well into his trip this time, just when he needed to, as must have been the author’s intent. It smelled of the soap that his love bathed in and reminded him sharply of his mate.
“When you go away,
There is not a day,
When I do not miss,
Your sweetest kiss.
Love, Erestor”
It was a silly little verse but lovely to get. It looked like he had hurried with it and shoved it into the socks while Glorfindel had been in the other room. He smiled against the parchment paper it had been scribbled on and started to drift off to sleep. He was bone tired from chopping wood for hours on end today and needed to rest his muscles.
Just as he was falling into reverie he heard a whisper in his mind.
*Glorfindel, Glorfindel…it is Elrond. I need to reach you with urgent news.*
Glorfindel did not open his eyes and did not stir. He knew what this was. It was the mind to mind communication among elves. Rarely used but he was able to respond.
*I am here, Elrond. What has happened?* Glorfindel replied, pushing the thought out strongly with his mind, worry evident in his emotion.
*Erestor is injured. He took a fall in the library and hit his head and has not woken up after some hours now. We have him resting in the infirmary but I think it might be advisable for you to come home as soon as possible.”
Glorfindel sat up at that, all soreness forgotten and panic entered his thoughts.
*Did he break anything in the fall?*
*No, Glorfindel. His body is fine but for some bruises. He has a large lump on his head which is a concern. You should come home as soon as possible.”
*I will leave right now and ride tonight. Asfaloth knows the way in the dark. We will arrive by morning.*
*That is good. We are taking good care of him but I hope your voice will bring him back.*
*I hope so. See you soon.*
*Ride carefully.*
There was nothing left to say so they ended their communication. Glorfindel quickly packed up his pack and bedroll, being sure to tuck Erestor’s poem into his pocket. He let his second in command know his plan and left him in charge. He would be able to finish the last two cabins without Glorfindel’s help with no problem and lead the patrol back to Imladris in one week’s time.
Asfaloth stomped his feet, excited about a night time ride through the woods of Imladris. He did indeed know the way, and would see him home as quickly as he could. Glorfindel swung up into the saddle and spurred his horse on into the night, eager to be back home where his love needed him.
----//----
Asfaloth was a Mearas and as such was more intelligent, stronger and faster than the average horse. Glorfindel communicated with the horse unconsciously and let him know what was needed and then basically held on as Asfaloth did it. They rode as one through the forest of Imladris, gliding through the trees and over the small streams that dotted their path. It was dark but both elf and horse could see well at night. They stirred the creatures of the forest as they passed and the owls blinked and squirrels tittered at them as they flew by.
He rode on through the night and held onto Asfaloth’s mane as snow white horse galloped down through the valley towards the Last Homely House nestled into the hillside amongst the waterfalls. Glorfindel could feel his horse working and the muscles of his neck and legs lengthening with each stride, but knew that Asfaloth had tremendous endurance and could run for days should the need arise. One night at full stride would not harm him.
As the trees thinned out, Glorfindel knew they were getting closer to the house, and the sky was lightening as the dawn approached. He sighed with relief and urged his horse the rest of the way onto the path to the house. He slowed to a canter, and then to a walk as he reached the covered pathway, and then dismounted in the courtyard. He was expected, and so was greeted by the stable staff, who took Asfaloth away to be tended and rubbed down after running so far in one go.
Elrond came out to meet him in a dark robe and smiled.
“It is good you are here. He has still not woken up yet. You will want to clean up and go to him.”
“Yes, my Lord. You are right. I am a bit dirty from the field. I will run to our rooms and bathe and go to the healing rooms.”
“I will have some food sent up to you shortly. You must be hungry. Just a small something.”
“Thank you, Elrond.”
Elrond clasped his hands firmly and smiled.
“It is good you are here. You will have to go through some trials now but all will be well in the end. Rest assured. That is all I can see but I hope that will help you.”
Glorfindel absorbed Elrond’s words knowing his Lord had the gift of foresight and went into the house, hoping the trials were not too intense or disastrous. He felt foreboding in his heart and hoped Elrond was right at the outcome.
----//----
The dark-haired elf lay against the pillow as he had since yesterday, quiet and not stirring. His chest raised and lowered with his breathing, his sharp features were peaceful in repose, and his hands with a single gold ring on his wedding finger lay soft against the blanket. Glorfindel watched him sleeping and occasionally wiped off his brow with a wet wash cloth. It was well onto noon of the day of his return from the field, and Erestor showed no sign of waking. He worried. Could he have damaged his mind and slipped into a permanent state of reverie? Would he never wake up? What would he do then? Glorfindel did not think he could go on living if Erestor did not wake up. He could not watch his love waste away to nothing and die, going on to Mandos without him. He would want to go and join him there, and have their fea travel together if the Valar would allow that.
But he was getting ahead of himself. Erestor would awake and all would be well. First things, first.
Glorfindel had brought some of Erestor’s favorite poetry and stories from their rooms so that he could read to him while he was unconscious. Hopefully Erestor would hear it while he slept and awaken. He started with some sonnets and love poems that he favored, reading them slowly. At times Lindir came in and played the flute while he read, making a musical show of sorts for the fallen elf. Then at times, Glorfindel would sit in silence and just watch Erestor breathing, assuring himself that the elf yet lived.
“Erestor. I am here waiting for you. I will always be here waiting. Don’t leave me. “
Glorfindel stole some moments of sleep in his chair there that afternoon, and snoozed sitting up next to the bed where his love lay slumbering. On one such occasion he woke to find his love’s eyes open and yet no love shone there. There was only confusion.
“Erestor! You are awake! Are you well?”
“Is there some mistake? I don’t know who that is. I don’t know who YOU are. Why are you holding my hand?” The dark-haired elf pulled his hand away from Glorfindel’s and almost recoiled.
Elrond came walking in at that moment and said, “Good, good, our patient is awake. We feared you would never awake, my friend. How are you feeling?”
“Are we friends? I don’t know who any of you are. Where am I and more importantly what is my name. I don’t even know who I am. I have no memory of this place. My head hurts and I am very confused.”
Glorfindel looked devastated but tried to mask it with a smile.
“Well, you will have to trust us until your memory returns. You hit your head in the library yesterday. Quite a blow in fact and that must have caused you to lose your memory. This is Glorfindel, and he is your husband of many years. He has ridden all the long night to be by your side.”
The elf, so named Erestor, looked sidelong at Glorfindel as Elrond said all this. He wanted to believe it all and yet he was slightly skeptical. Could such a beautiful elf really be his mate? Glorfindel positively glowed with beauty.
“Is this true?” Erestor whispered. “How could I forget an elf like him?”
Elrond spoke again. “You did not do so on purpose. It was the blow to the head and your memories will come back in time or not, as the case may be. These things can be very uncertain.”
Glorfindel reached for Erestor’s hand and then dropped his own. “You should know that I love you very much, and we have been married for many years, very happily. We live together in this house. You work as Elrond’s Chief Counselor and I am his Captain. We are very happy indeed.”
“And I have to trust you all about this?”
“Yes.” Elrond and Glorfindel said in unison.
Erestor fiddled with his wedding ring and Glorfindel pointed to his own. “We have matching wedding rings. That is proof of our love. With matching inscriptions.”
“I still don’t remember anything of our past. I cannot just go with you now.” Erestor looked small and vulnerable in the bed and so very alone.
“Well you met and courted all those years ago. You can start over, so to speak, and meet again and perhaps that will jostle your memory and bring it all back to you,” Elrond suggested.
“Perhaps…” the elf agreed.
Glorfindel pounced on the idea. “We can start in the dining room tomorrow, for that is where we first got to know each other over tea in the morning. I will do a whirlwind courtship tomorrow and take you through the years in one day. I know that is a great deal, but I think I can do it. What do you say?”
Erestor smiled. “I think it is worth a try. I would like to have my memory back. I will trust in you to faithfully recount our life together.”
“I will, as though our lives count on it,” Glorfindel said earnestly and he meant it. He smiled and handed Erestor the books he had brought to the room. “You might want to read these tonight. They are your favorite books and you read them often.”
“Thank you.” Erestor fingered the raised lettering on the cover of the poetry book and hoped something would be familiar in there.
----//----
The elf who was Erestor could not go around in a dressing gown so Elrond had some of his clothing brought down from the apartment he shared with Glorfindel. Leggings, tunics and under garments were brought, so that he would have items to wear over the next few days. He would stay in the healing wing and remember everything eventually, and all would be well.
Glorfindel spent the remainder of the day planning out how he would court his mate again and remind him of their love. He would not show him every incident in their lives together, but the most memorable or touching. Their first meeting, their first chess game when Erestor let him win…things like that. The highlights. He felt as though if much time went on, Erestor would be lost to him forever, and he could not live with that, seeing him and not having him. That could not be. He would not allow that.
He worked long under the lamplight, planning and plotting, until he realized that he needed rest after his all-night ride with Asfaloth. At close to midnight, he went to sleep in their large, half-empty bed. He tossed and turned until morning because he was not used to sleeping in their bed alone. It was big and lonely there. He was used to holding Erestor all night and sharing the bed with his mate. He woke up disgruntled and worried, but shook that off to go bathe and find just the right clothing to wear for breakfast.
He wanted to wear the pants and tunic he had arrived in from the Havens. It was how he had first appeared to Erestor and he felt that it was important to recreate the scene as well as he could, down to his hair and outfit. He remembered that he used to braid his hair back then, so he did a simple plait down his back, tied with a plain ribbon. He surveyed his reflection in the mirror and noted with some small pride that he had not gained any weight in the years since he had been in Imladris. The outfit, a sea green tunic and matching leggings, fit perfectly.
Glorfindel felt like his whole life depended on the “first meeting” that was going to take place this morning. He was nervous and excited all at once, and he nodded at himself one last time in the full-length looking glass.
“Time to win my love back again.”
----//----
The elf let them call him Erestor, for that made them more comfortable, but he did not truly know what his name was. He had no recollection of the life he had known before. The clothes he wore felt strange, though they fit him perfectly and looked very fine on his slender, tall body. The Lord, known as Elrond, had thoughtfully picked out some clothing from his quarters and brought them down so he did not have to wear a dressing gown around the house.
He was shown his office, the library and the rest of the Last Homely House as it was called, but nothing was familiar. Nothing jogged his memory. People said, “Hello Erestor,” and he replied in kind but did not know who they were or what they did. It was enough to make him cry in frustration. He wanted to scream at all of them but refrained from doing so. This Erestor would not scream, and he was relatively sure their Erestor would not scream either.
Elrond filled him in on the plan. Glorfindel was going to walk him through their life together and see if it sparked some memories. It was their hope and his own, really, that this would work and that he would remember his whole life or most of it. Anyone could see from the look on the golden elf’s face that he was devastated by this turn of events, and that he dearly loved the Erestor whom he knew, and that this Erestor who did not know him was unacceptable to him. He wanted his husband back. The elf wanted his memories back and hopefully with that, the love of his life, so their goals were united.
Erestor sat in a sunny window, waiting for Glorfindel to appear in the dining hall. He had freshly poached eggs, cut up fruit and warm oat cereal. He knew he liked these things and they were brought to him by the staff in the kitchen but he did not know why he liked these things. He ate with enjoyment as the food was delicious. It was as though he was eating for the first time.
“Is this seat taken?”
He looked up and saw a shadowy figured hallowed in sunlight to his right.
“No, you are welcome to join me if you like.” Erestor pointed to the empty place across from him and smiled kindly. That smile reminded Glorfindel of when they had first met and everything had been strange for him here in Imladris. He had seen awe and respect on elves faces but few smiles, so it had mattered to him then a great deal.
“I don’t mind if I do. It looks as though you are having a nice big breakfast.”
“I am ravenously hungry for some reason. I probably am eating too much but it all looks good and tastes better.” Erestor laughed.
Glorfindel was served a big plate of hand-made waffles and scrambled eggs. He adored breakfast food and with his very physically active life, could put the food away with no problem. He spread some butter on the piping hot cakes and then drenched them in syrup. Truth be told, he had a bit of a sweet tooth.
Erestor raised one eyebrow as he watched Glorfindel, but did not comment, and paid attention to his own food.
“So how are you this morning?” Erestor tried small talk and chit chat. He did not really know what to say, so something banal came to mind.
“I am fine. Glad to see you up and about. How is your head feeling? Is the lump bothering you at all?”
“I still feel it but the swelling is going down. Lord Elrond has been caring for me and has helped quite a bit. They have applied cold compresses so it is not as big as it was before. The only lasting problem is my memory and they hope that will return in time. I do hope that will come back. I know this must be difficult for you, Glorfindel, and I hope that this is very short lived.”
“I hope so too. I will do my best to remind you of our lives together. So we met over a breakfast much like this one and you were very kind to me when I was first reborn. The thing I remember most about that was that you treated me normally. Not like the Balrog Slayer, but just like I was a person, not someone who had died in horrible battle and was to be awed. That was nothing to you. It was such a relief. I am not sure you even knew who I was really. “
“I don’t remember but I am glad you found me so,” Erestor murmured.
“Yes, I did. So we struck up a friendship of sorts over breakfast. I would meet you here and then we progressed to the next stage, which was chess in your office. We would spend hours in the evenings playing chess and drinking wine. It was fun most nights, and most of the time you would win and allow me an occasional game.”
Erestor laughed. “Was I the better player?”
“Oh yes, definitely. But I was just looking for a reason to spend time with you. I am not a very good chess player but was always willing to give it a go.”
“And I did not mind.”
“No, you did not.”
Erestor smiled as he finished his oat cereal and then reached for his tea. “That sounds lovely. I hope I remember how to play chess. It is hard to know what I remember.”
“Well if you forget, I can teach you again.”
“That would be nice.”
Their dishes were taken away, all but their tea cups and service, and they sat in companionable silence. Erestor was struck by the striking blue of Glorfindel’s eyes. They were as blue as the sky or the warm water seas. He felt he could get lost in those eyes if he let himself, and that was a comforting thought. He could well understand how their Erestor had fallen in love with this elf and really hoped that he became that person again.
“Shall we go to your office? It is too early to have wine at this hour, but we can have more tea over our chess game and adjust the timeline a bit for that,” Glorfindel said as he rose and waved to a staff person. He ordered a tea service to be sent to Erestor’s office with biscuits, and then gestured to Erestor to walk in front of him.
As they walked through the house to Erestor’s office, elves greeted both of them as they passed. Erestor replied reservedly and Glorfindel warmly, asking after family members and relatives. It took them some time to make their way to the chamber. Elrond had cleaned up in there and had put away the papers which had been strewn about before Erestor’s accident. All was neat and tidy.
The chess board was set up on its stand between two wingback chairs in the corner, and there was a table with the tea service set out nearby.
“Here we go,” said Glorfindel. “All is ready for us.”
“Just so,” Erestor agreed and sat down on his usual side of the board. He preferred the white pieces and so unconsciously had picked that side. Glorfindel smiled at that. His love might not remember anything but his unconscious mind was telling him what to do. The memories were in his mind waiting to bubble up to the surface. This gave Glorfindel hope.
Erestor opened with a pawn gambit. He held the pieces with confidence and put them down and a surety of a seasoned player. “Who else do I play chess with? Are you the only one? This is a very nice board. It seems as though I would play a lot.”
“Well, you and Elrond play frequently. He is a much better player than I am, and there are a few scribes whom you are teaching to play the game.”
“Well it seems as though I have not forgotten the game. I am encouraged.”
Glorfindel sipped some tea as he tried to plan out his next move. He did not want to lose too badly, though the outcome of the game was not the point, really. He moved his bishop.
“Oh, Glorfindel. Do you mean to move that there?” Erestor asked.
“Why?”
“Well that leaves your queen vulnerable and you do not want to lose her so soon.”
He had not thought. He was a great military strategist in his own life, but that did not translate into being good at chess, somehow.
“I had not thought.”
“Evidently.” Erestor laughed. “I will let you replay that move.”
Glorfindel did and chose to move a safer pawn instead. They want on for a while in companionable silence until Erestor called out,
“Checkmate, aha!”
Glorfindel leaned over and studied the board, nodding in agreement. “Well, it is good to know you still remember how to play chess.”
“Yes, that is a comfort. It is almost like a reflex.”
They played another game and Erestor gave Glorfindel pointers much like he had when they had first started to play together. He would question any bad moves on his partner’s part and let him replay if he wanted. He was not really out to win, but to remember so they played this way for a few more games. On the last game, Erestor winced and Glorfindel knew it was getting a bit taxing and so said,
“Best not to overdo it now. You seem to be getting tired. This can be our last game for now. I will take you back to your room to rest, and I can set up for our next meeting. I don’t want you to get too tired now or this will not work.”
“Yes, I think you are right. I would like to rest, but I want you to know I really enjoyed this time with you. You are hopeless at chess but fun to spend time with.”
Glorfindel smiled at that. He had really only ever played chess to get to spend time with Erestor, so that was as accurate a description of his chess ability as any.
----//----
When Erestor got back to his room at the Hall of Healing, Glorfindel left him there and he rested on top of the bed. He took his shoes off and lay on top of the covers with his eyes closed. He went through the time he had spent with Glorfindel this morning and smiled to himself. It was no wonder their Erestor had fallen in love with the golden elf. He was gentle and kind and willing to do just about anything to spend time with Erestor, even play a game he was hopeless at, evidently for years. That was truly love.
He fell into a light, trance-like sleep and let his mind work on this. He was growing to like Glorfindel as this Erestor. His mind cleared and he let himself dwell in the ether of reverie. He recalled what had happened today but felt some images emerging of what must have been an earlier time when they were younger. They were fleeting, but he could see Glorfindel resting with his eyes closed against a pillow, his hair a mess. That must have been in the morning before he woke up. Erestor recalled that he liked to watch him in slumber. There was a vulnerability to catching him unawares like that, and Erestor remembered this now. It was a small instance but it was something, a glimmer.
He did not force anymore and rested with those images in comfort. This something meant quite a lot to him. It confirmed that there were in fact more memories to recall. He would get nowhere if he strained his mind trying to remember. He had to leave himself free to recall the smallest of details. But this one, this image of Glorfindel sleeping meant so much to him.
----//----
One of the memorable occasions in their courtships, was the day they spent at Imdolen on the north road. It had been early on in their courtship, and as Glorfindel recalled it was the moment he had made it clear he had romantic intentions towards Erestor. The day had been very fine and the view of the valley quite stunning, and they’d had a picnic under the gazebo there. So it was this that Glorfindel sought to recreate today in brief. He had Cook make them up a lunch similar to the one they had brought that day, and he got a blanket and one very fine rose from Celebrían’s Garden. It was all ready and waiting for them today.
They walked up the north road and rounded the bend to the east. When Erestor saw where they were, he had a flash of recognition which quickly disappeared, but for a moment the place had been familiar.
“Do we spend a lot of time here?”
“We like it here, yes. It is one of our favorite spots.”
“It seemed familiar for a moment. I think that is important.”
“That is good…”
Glorfindel had almost called him “love” but did not want to make Erestor uncomfortable with endearments and nicknames. He was very happy that he seemed to recognize this place. That was a good sign.
As they approached the stone gazebo, Erestor could see that a blanket had been laid out and there was a full picnic spread out for the two of them. Erestor wondered how his younger self had reacted to all of this when it had first occurred. Now, it was still thrilling and romantic as the sparkling wine indicated. There was no missing that.
“Did you raid the wine cellar?” Erestor asked with a grin.
Erestor did not know how he knew there was a wine cellar, but he did know, and he knew they raided it regularly for their libations. Elrond turned a blind eye to that and kept a rather loose inventory at any rate. He did not care when a bottle was appropriated for a romantic picnic.
“Do you remember that?”
“I feel like that is something that I know. It is not really a memory but yes, I know that.”
Glorfindel nodded. He felt that this was a good sign that Erestor was coming back to himself but kept silent on that. He did not want to put any pressure on his mate to remember more than he did at that moment. This was a very good sign indeed.
They sat out on the blanket that Glorfindel had laid out, and he brought out some of the fine food from the Imladris kitchens; grilled chicken, cole slaw, fresh baked bread and other hearty favorites. Cook had even made chocolate chip biscuits which were a favorite of Erestor’s, and Glorfindel hoped that would bring back some memories of the many times he had eaten those. All these foods were things he had eaten before and liked.
“This is lovely, Glorfindel. Thank you for planning all of this.”
“It is my pleasure, Erestor.”
They ate in companionable silence and sipped the sparkling wine which tickled their noses.
After a while, Erestor spoke. “I think I should tell you, I had some images from my life. Just a few, but they were comforting, so I do think my memories will come back eventually. When I was laying quietly earlier today, I could see images of you sleeping in bed next to me, in the early morning hours. It seems as though I used to like to watch you sleeping?”
Glorfindel smiled. “Yes, you usually wake up before I do.”
“And your hair is usually a mess.”
“That too.”
They both laughed.
“It is a small thing but something,” Erestor said.
“Yes.” Glorfindel reached into the basket for one last item as they munched the biscuits from Cook. They were chewie and delicious, perfectly prepared. “It was at a picnic here that I let you know my intentions by giving you a single red rose, Erestor, so I brought one today to give to you, so you again know my intentions.”
Erestor swallowed his bite of biscuits and took the perfect rose that Glorfindel had brought with him. It had not yet opened and was so delicate and light.
“This is lovely.”
“I intend to court you until you remember our lives together, or until you love me again. I want you to trust in me that can remember for both of us until your memories return.”
“I do trust you, Glorfindel. I trust in you.” He held the rose to his nose and inhaled. “Our lives are long and I am sure that later we will look back upon this and laugh at this as the time we had to start over, but perhaps these things happen for a reason. Not anything bad, but just to remind us not to take our love for granted? I don’t know.”
Glorfindel reached for Erestor’s hand and entwined their fingers, feeling that he could do that now that they had established this closeness.
“We are never ones to take each other for granted, Erestor, but I do know what you mean. This gives us a new start and that is always welcome. We were both of us very happy together but there is always something that can be done to improve things.”
Erestor squeezed Glorfindel’s hand. “Just so. I know that we belong together from the glimpses I have seen in my mind, and I will enjoy recovering it all, but finding you again like this is new and exciting too. Maybe that is the point.”
Glorfindel felt an irresistible urge to kiss his mate. His lips looked so inviting, and once the thought crossed his mind, it would not leave. Erestor had very kissable lips, full and soft, and it seemed like ages since he had tasted him. “Erestor, I think I need to kiss you now. You may say no, but I would dearly love to.”
Erestor’s eyes widened at that pronouncement and then he said, “Perhaps that would help me remember. It might be advisable at this point.”
Glorfindel laughed. “Yes, for the cause.”
“For the cause.”
Glorfindel leaned over and pressed their lips together in a soft, delightful melding of their mouths. It was brief but full of all the promise of their life together. Erestor sat with his eyes closed, savoring the moment and their proximity, his mate’s scent and essence. He thought of other more passionate kisses and his face flushed.
As he opened his eyes he looked into the very blue eyes of his mate and smiled. “Well that brought some things back. I have some strong feelings about kisses. No memories, just feelings.”
Glorfindel grinned. “We like to kiss. You wrote me a poem about my kisses.” He pulled it out of his pocket and read it out loud.
“When you go away,
There is not a day,
When I do not miss,
Your sweetest kiss.”
“I wrote that? It’s awful!”
“I thought it was rather sweet and you left it for me in my socks in my pack. Rather ingenious.”
“Did I do that a lot?”
“Rather, I have a whole box of your little poems. They are charming.”
“I must love you then.”
“I believe you do, Erestor.”
“I believe you,” Erestor said.
And they kissed again, more forcefully this time, both of them losing themselves in the embrace.
----//----
Elrond was on the look-out for the couple for some time and hoped to observe them as they came back from their picnic at Imdolen. They had been gone for a while, which was a good sign. If the picnic had been brief, that would not have been good.
He could watch the path from his office window and pretend to be getting work done at the same time. He did not want to appear to be snooping and yet he wanted to know what was going on. He was very worried that Erestor’s memories might never return. They would deal with that if that were the case, but he dearly hoped that did not happen. These things could not be predicted and there was no remedy; no tincture he could give him, no pill. Time would tell, and having Glorfindel remind him of their life together seemed like the best course of action.
He sighed. He wanted his friend back and that would also have to wait. His friend was there and would just have to emerge again.
Two figures came into view on the road from the north part of the valley, one golden haired and one dark haired. They were carrying their items from the picnic but had kept hands free and were holding hands. They were HOLDING HANDS. Elrond practically chortled with glee. This was very good. Perhaps a break-through had happened up at the gazebo or some such? He did not know but it looked as though these two were getting closer again and that made him happy.
----//----
Glorfindel left Erestor at the healing wing for another rest. He did not want his mate to become over-taxed or to do too much. They were going to go out this evening to the Hall of Fire, and so he bid Erestor rest for a time, and he would come collect him for their evening’s entertainment in a few hours. Elrond came in for a few moments to check his head and see how he was feeling, and then left him to relax in the silence.
He once again lay down on the top of the coverlet and kicked off his shoes. He was not really sleepy, but he could feel a dull ache around the bump in his head and wanted to rest a bit. It would feel good to close his eyes and just be still for a while. He let himself float in between wakefulness and reverie, and thought about all that had happened today: breakfast and lunch with Glorfindel, their kisses and the lovely rose he had gotten. He had put the rose in a vase on the side table with some water so that it would eventually open to full bloom.
He drifted with his thoughts, in and out of places. At times he saw his time at court, long ago in Linden. Elves were finely dressed and there was a large elf on a throne. That must have been Gil-Galad. He remembered war, and that must have been Eregion, and fear and battle and the sound of swords clashing. He remembered his first days in Imladris as an anonymous scribe in the library, or at least he thought he was not known, but Elrond missed nothing and promoted him through the ranks of his staff. All of this he remembered, and his first meeting with Glorfindel at breakfast. They had laughed together so easily and he had liked him right away. This all came to him as he lay with his eyes closed, his mind recovering and mending. He even remembered the treaty he had been working on at the time of his accident and why he had gone into the library. The book of maps! That blasted book!
It all came flooding back.
----//----
Glorfindel walked into the healing wing, to Erestor’s room, and found an empty bed. There was an indent on the covers in the shape of a lithe body, but that body was not there. Glorfindel went back out to the healers and asked,
“Where is Erestor? He is not in his room.”
“Well, you see…” one healer started.
The other elf chimed in. “He said he was feeling better and could be found in his office. He had work to do. Oh! And he wanted to have some books in the library rearranged.”
“Now that sounds like our Erestor. He has remembered.” Glorfindel laughed and sprinted off in the direction of his mate’s office and the general direction of the library. He was overjoyed to hear that Erestor was thinking of work and remembered his work. He hoped that this meant that he recalled all of his life. It must. Elrond’s plan had worked and now Erestor was back to his old self or perhaps with some new tricks.
He checked in Erestor’s office and there was no one there, so he went on to the library. He found Erestor there, surrounded by the librarians and scribes, piles of books in hand. Evidently they were rearranging the stacks.
“I don’t care what makes sense topically,” Erestor was saying. “The largest books should be on the lower shelves for safety’s sake. That book almost killed me. Where is it, by the way. I would like that in my office. I need it to research something I am working on.”
“Yes, Master Erestor. Right away, Master Erestor.”
“Thank you, very much. Oh, Glorfindel, glad to see you here. We need someone with your brawn to help out with some of these heavy books.”
“I see you are working, love. Is that advisable? You were just with the healers. Have you been cleared to go back to work?”
“I’m not doing any of the work, Glorfindel. I am ordering people around. That’s not really working, you see. And my memories have all come back. So, my love, you cannot pull anything over on me now, not that you tried.”
“Darn!” Glorfindel exclaimed. “I missed my chance!”
Erestor laughed and went to him to give him a big hug, embracing him fully in his arms.
“I know what a trial this must have been for you, my love, but I have remembered everything, and our time together today added new memories to what we share. I will always love you, now and forever, and I do trust in you.”
“And I you, Erestor.” Glorfindel blinked back the tears that formed in his eyes, smiling at his one true mate.
“But now we have work to do before we go to the Hall of Fire. I want all the heavy books moved to lower shelves so what happened to me does not happen to anyone else. The heaviest tomes should be lower placed for easy reaching. It will all make sense in the end.”
“Yes, love.”
And so they all worked on this together for the next few hours and Elrond came in and happily helped with the work, too, and it was done. Heavy books were placed on the lower shelves so that what befell Erestor would not happen to anyone else. They could not prevent all accidents, but this seemed simple enough to do.
----//----
Many years later….
Lindir sang at the front of the Hall of Fire. The song had been inspired by what Erestor and Glorfindel had been through.
When you wake up the world may have changed
But trust in me, I'll never falter or fail
Just the smile in your eyes, it can light up the night,
And your laughter's like wind in my sails.
'Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old. (1)
They never forgot that time in their lives when Erestor had lost his memories and Glorfindel had won him back again. They never took their love for granted, and always invested something new in their relationship. The incident had taught them the value in that.
This night they sat in the Hall of Fire and listened to Lindir’s song and held hands, drinking wine surrounded by their friends, and when the song was over, Erestor said, “That was so good of Lindir to write that song for us after my memory returned.”
“It was. You put your trust in me and remembered. Your smile still lights up my night and your laughter still makes me soar.”
Erestor smiled, and taking Glorfindel’s hand, pulled him up and led him out of the Hall, down the halls towards their quarters. He stopped behind a pillar along the way, and the two of them came together in a deeply loving kiss that reaffirmed their love. When the kiss finally ended, Erestor said, “Loving you will never grow old, no matter how the world changes, Glorfindel.”
Glorfindel’s eyes lit up the night, and he kissed the love of his life again.
The End or The Beginning