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If Hux was ever to join the First Order it would be Poe Dameron’s fault. The man was the bane of Hux’s existence ever since General Organa had decided to recruit him for the Resistance. And from a professional point of view Hux couldn’t fault her decision. Poe Dameron was a good leader and an even better pilot. He was smart, reliable and charismatic. He cared about people, believed in the Republic and its founding principles and easily gained the admiration and attention of everyone around him.
Unfortunately, he had apparently decided that he wanted Hux’s attention most of all. There hadn’t been a single day so far where he hadn’t sought Hux’s company in one way or another. And while other people would’ve gladly traded with him, Hux felt unsettled from being the constant focus of Poe’s attention.
Pilots had a reputation, Poe even more so than most others and Hux had no plans on being his next conquest. He had thought that Poe would move on given the lack of encouragement from Hux’s side but it had been three months and so far, Poe’s attention hadn’t wavered one bit.
“Lieutenant Hux”, Poe smiled at him as he sat down, balancing his tray while trying not to accidentally kick his droid either.
“Commander Dameron”, Hux replied, barely glancing up from his own meal. Not that it helped much. Poe Dameron was like the sun, you felt his presence even when you didn’t look at him directly.
“We’ve known each other for three months, you should call me Poe”, Poe said and in some other universe where that meant something, Hux would’ve gladly done so. But in this universe everyone in the Resistance called Poe by his first name, even General Organa. “Do you have a first name?”
“No. My father had decided not to bother with one since I was going to join the military anyway.”
For a moment it looked as if Poe actually believed him but then he cracked a smile. “It’s something embarrassing, isn’t it?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Screaming your last name in bed later would be awkward.”
And there it was, the reason why Hux would sooner or later defect to the First Order. “You know all about that, I’m sure.”
“Now who’s making assumptions?” Poe grinned.
“Is there a reason you’re bothering me at lunch?” Hux asked because he didn’t like the implication that Poe wasn’t just paying attention to him because he wanted him as the newest notch on his bedpost but because he saw something in Hux that he liked. It didn’t work that way.
“I thought you looked lonely sitting here by yourself but if you’d rather be alone I can leave.” Poe sounded sincere which was the worst of all.
“It’s fine”, Hux said because even if he’d never admit it, Poe was an excellent conversation partner.
/
“Didn’t you get the memo that every member of the Resistance should at least have one hobby?” Poe asked, leaning over the edge of the seat right next to Hux.
“Maybe Dejarik is my hobby”, Hux replied.
“Dejarik is just another way for you to test out all the strategies and tactics you come up with all the time.” Poe said. “It’s just extension of the work you already do, not a hobby.”
“Is that why you spend all your time with your ship and your droid?”
Poe grinned. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He walked around and sat down on the opposite side of the Dejarik table. “Let’s see if I can beat you.”
“You can’t.” There wasn’t even the slightest bit of doubt in Hux’s voice.
“Words hurt, you know?”
“You’re a pilot. You don’t plan, you react.”
Poe licked his lips. “I’ve learned that people who are too sure of their victory are liable to lose.”
“Knowledge and arrogance are not the same thing.”
“Show me then.”
Poe did lose but by a far smaller margin than Hux would’ve guessed. He had a tendency to think outside the box when cornered and could probably beat most casual and a few professional Dejarik players.
“I yield”, Poe grimaced when Hux took his last remaining piece from the board.
“I told you so”, Hux replied.
“You’ve been dying to tell me that, haven’t you?” Poe grinned. He didn’t seem to mind that he had lost or that Hux had called it before the game had even started.
“Maybe.” He could feel his lips twitch, wanting to return Poe’s easy smile. “You’re very good but you’re too focused on winning each encounter instead of winning the game.”
Poe raised an eyebrow. “Did you read my last psych eval? Because you’re not the first one to tell me this. Even Leia does it.”
“Then maybe you should listen to her”, Hux replied. It sounded very unlike Poe not to take General Organa’s advice.
“Once you start a fight you need to finish it”, Poe said. “Otherwise you get the same situation we have now with the Republic and the First Order.”
Hux had to admit that Poe had a point there. “So you would’ve chased the remnants of the Empire all the way into the Unknown Regions?”
“Letting a bunch of fascists leave instead of judging and incarcerating them was not a good idea”, Poe said, “But at the least the Republic should’ve acted when they came out of the woodwork and started to harass our borders. Even if we cannot eradicate people like that we need to hold them accountable for their actions.”
It was a good answer and Poe’s sincere tone would’ve convinced everyone but the senate to take action against the First Order. “Yolo’s right, we should use you for recruitment”, Hux said. “You’re very convincing.”
“Did I convince you?” Poe laughed. “Why did you join up?”
Hux wondered for a moment how much he wanted to reveal and finally settled on something he had heard Paige answer when she had been asked this question. “Revenge.”
Poe nodded as if he wasn’t surprised. Maybe Leia had told him or maybe he had come to the conclusion himself, after all he had been a high-ranking officer in the Republic Fleet. “Fair enough.”
Hux was not a great fan of blasters or any kinds of weapons actually. He found them brutish and uncivilised even if he saw their use and made sure to keep at least an adequate skill level in shooting. In his line of work it would come in handy sooner rather than later, he suspected.
Still he was not a great shooter and the last thing he needed was the distraction of having Poe Dameron watch him while he trained. He wasn’t even sure how Poe had known he was here but he suspected that Connix was to blame, who was training two lanes further down the line.
“Don’t you have anything else to do?” Hux gritted out between his teeth when he missed again. HIs score today was even worse than usual.
“Nothing that beats the pleasure of watching you”, Poe replied.
“Does that line usually work for you?” Hux bit back, throwing Poe a look over his shoulder. It probably did. He couldn’t imagine that many people could resist Poe’s charm, no matter how cheesy the line he used.
“You tell me”, Poe said and added to Hux’s surprise, “First time I used it.”
“It does not”, Hux informed him and turned back to his target. He took a deep breath, tried to ignore that he could still feel Poe’s eyes on him, and shot three times.
He missed again. Perhaps he should just call it a day. It was supposed to be his day off but he could probably bribe Ematt into sharing his paperwork with him.
“Your stance is wrong”, Poe said suddenly and stepped closer before he put his hands on Hux’s hips. “You’re shifting too much weight on your right leg.”
“Not just an expert pilot but also an expert marksman?” Hux asked, trying not to let on how much he didn’t mind Poe touching him like this.
“My father was a pathfinder”, Poe replied, pulling Hux slightly backwards so that he was forced to adjust his stance. “He’s the expert marksman. I’m adequate.”
Hux was about to reply when he felt Poe’s chest press against his back. “Breathe”, Poe told him, his voice low and Hux had never found it harder to breathe than in this moment. “Keep your eyes on the target. Listen to your heartbeat. Shoot between breaths. Shoot between beats.”
Hux didn’t know if he was following Poe’s rhythm or of Poe was following his but when he felt the slightest bit of pressure coming from Poe’s fingers still wrapped around his waist, he pulled the trigger.
All three blaster shots hit dead centre.
He felt Poe step away from him and clamped down on the feeling of regret.
“Well done.” When he turned his head, Poe was smiling at him. “I can give you more lessons if you want.”
“Thank you but I’m not planning on shooting anyone anytime soon”, Hux replied. He wasn’t even planning on shooting his father, mostly because it would be over too quickly then.
“There’s other things I could teach you”, Poe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“I don’t plan on piloting any time soon either”, Hux replied, not reacting to the shift in Poe’s tone. It had been nearly a year by now. Why hadn’t Poe found someone else yet? Practically everyone in the entire Resistance was fawning over him, for both good and shallow reasons alike.
“Maybe you could teach me, then”, Poe replied, biting his lip. He looked unfairly attractive when he did that. “Heard you’re good in hand to hand combat.”
“I’m not a good teacher”, Hux said curtly.
“Fair enough”, Poe took his refusal in good spirit. “How about another game of Dejarik then?”
“Are you that keen to lose again?”
Poe shot him a long look, the curl of his lips giving away to Hux that he was plotting something. “If there comes a day when I don’t lose, you’re telling me your first name.”
“You are never going to win”, Hux stated.
“If you’re that sure, you lose nothing by agreeing to my terms.”
Hux sighed. “I don’t know why you’re this obsessed with my first name, but fine, if you ever beat me at Dejarik I’m going to tell you.”
“I’m going to beat you.”
“In your dreams, Dameron.”
/
“Why is he always bothering me?” Hux asked no one in particular. It was not that he minded Poe’s attention but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Someone as popular, handsome and easy-going as Poe wouldn’t waste their time with someone like him without an ulterior motive.
Next to him Connix threw him a look, blinked and focused back on her workstation all while pressing her lips together as if she was trying hard not to laugh.
“What?” He asked her, slightly annoyed with her reaction.
“You should tell him you don’t want him to flirt with you. He’ll stop”, Connix said with utter conviction.
“That’s not...I just want to know why he does it.”
Connix looked at him as if he was being deliberately stupid. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”
Hux shook his head. “Poe flirts with everyone. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Poe’s not making sure our fingers touch when he gives me reports”, she replied, an amused smile playing around her lips. “He doesn’t go out of his way to catch Statura at meal times. And he certainly didn’t try to get that up and close with Bastian at the shooting range.”
Hux felt his cheeks heat up with the memory of Poe’s hands on his hips and the low, warm tone of Poe’s voice when he had spoken to him. It had been such a clichéd way of flirting that he had been sure Poe used it on everyone not just him.
“What I don’t understand”, Connix continued, “Is why you don’t just admit that you like him.”
“I don’t do casual”, Hux replied because that was at least half of the truth.
“What makes you think that Poe does?”
“Because he flirts with everyone. And he’s very popular. It’s not his fault, why should he settle for only one person if he can anyone he wants?”
“Well, so far you seem to be the only one he wants. I haven’t seen him date anyone else.”
“I’m not talking about dating”, Hux replied.
“Have you been listening to the rumour mill?” She asked and lightly boxed his arm. “You know how inaccurate that is.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is that you should go on a date with him and enjoy it. Don’t worry so much about what will happen afterwards. Poe’s clearly into you and you’re clearly into him.”
“I think I’d rather check on those First Order troop movements again, see if they start making sense”, Hux replied with a tight smile. He liked Connix but that didn’t mean he was going to follow her advice.
/
“Someone’s looking frustrated”, Poe said as he sauntered in, looking ridiculously attractive for someone who had just gotten out of an X-Wing after a six-day recon flight.
Hux was really not in the mood to deal with him. “Don’t you have somewhere better to be?” He bit out in a tone that made it clear how little patience he had.
“Not before I have given you my new intel”, Poe replied. “And some caf. How long have you been staring at these?” He asked, pointing at the map displaying the First Order’s attack pattern.
Hux rubbed a hand over his face before he took the caf Poe offered him. “I’ll stop when the pattern starts making sense.”
“You do remember that despite the rumours you’re not actually a droid?” For a moment he sounded concerned but then a smile appeared on his face. “You’re way too handsome for that.”
Hux let out an annoyed sigh and focused on the map again. Maybe if he ignored him Poe would take the hint and go away. Then he remembered that Poe had not solely come here to bring him caf. “What’s your new intel?”
“Leia had us fly to the planets with the random burned down and massacred villages. We found a survivor. He told us the First Order didn’t kill everyone. Instead they took a few of the able-bodied men and women as well as the youngest children and all pregnant women.”
The cup Hux had been holding fell to the floor splashing hot caf over his boots but he barely registered it as he recalled some half-forgotten memories, fragments from the life he had almost lived. It was as if he was five years old again and felt his father’s stern and disapproving eyes on him.
“Hey.” Someone touched his arm and brought him back to the present. “You’re okay?” Poe looked genuinely concerned.
“I need to speak to the General.” Hux turned on his heel and ran towards Leia’s office. He had been so blind and couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it sooner. The answer had been staring him in the face the whole time.
Leia called him in immediately after he had knocked and only then he realised that Poe had followed him. It was just as well since Leia would’ve informed him anyway.
“What happened Lieutenant?” She asked when she saw his face.
“The seemingly random massacres of villages, it’s a coverup”, Hux explained, slightly out of breath. “The First Order is stealing children for their stormtrooper program.”
“What?” Poe said disbelievingly.
“It was a lifelong vision my father had”, Hux continued. “Children trained to be soldiers from birth on just like the clones of the old republic had been but without the drawbacks of using clones. My mother said he was inspired by the Jedi.”
Leia nodded as if that didn’t surprise her. But then again Hux supposed after everything she had lived through maybe there really was nothing left to surprise her. “Do you think you can find a pattern now?”
Hux nodded. “Poor planets outside of the Republic space and with no strong government or military. Unfortunately, that describes half the planets in the Outer Rim. And they’ll get additional children from raids and kidnapping and the slave markets. That’s not even counting the children living in the Unknown Regions and in Wild Space.”
“You’re talking about thousands of children”, Poe said, sounding appalled.
“Hundreds of thousands”, Hux corrected him. “The First Order needs stormtroopers, pilots, officers. They could easily be press-ganging a million children each year.”
Neither Leia nor Poe had any answer to that. They spent the evening trying to work out a strategy to warn the most planets in the Outer Rim with Poe’s idea about using the testimony of the survivor as propaganda being the most feasible.
It was pretty late when they finally left Leia’s office and Hux felt dead tired from hat had been a pretty long day. Next to him Poe yawned loudly and stretched his back as they walked down the quiet hallways.
“You never talk about your father”, Poe said eventually and only now Hux noticed that they were walking towards his quarters whereas Poe and the other pilots lived on the other side of the base.
“Because there is nothing to talk about. I last saw that man when I was five.” And what little he did remember about him wasn’t positive as today had proven once again.
“You don’t talk about your mother either.”
“Because I don’t talk about my personal life.”
“So your father has nothing to do with the reason why you joined the Resistance?”
Hux knew he had a choice. He could either tell Poe to drop the topic or he could trust him. And since it was late and he was exhausted, he went with the stupider choice. “I’m going to destroy the First Order and everything else he holds dear and then I am going to kill my father, very slowly and painfully.”
For a few moments Poe was left speechless by his vitriol. “Did he kill your mother?”
“No”, Hux replied because he had anticipated that question. Leia had asked it back then as well. “My mother is alive and well. My life’s not that much of a holo-drama. But in case you missed it earlier my father is monster. And I’m going to make him pay for it.”
“And then?” Poe asked.
“And then I’m going to run for Chancellor and lead the Republic into a new golden age”, Hux answered without missing a beat.
“Nothing overly ambitious then”, Poe grinned.
“What about you?” Hux asked just when they arrived at the door to his room. He wondered if Poe expected him to invite him in.
“I thought about beating Han Solo’s record for the Kessel run. I’m sure you can do it in under 10 Parsec.”
“Nothing overly ambitious then either”, Hux repeated Poe’s words.
Poe smiled at his words but he didn’t say anything. Instead he just held Hux’s gaze as if he hadn’t spent the last six days in a cockpit and most of tonight in a meeting. Hux didn’t want to look away either because whether he admitted or not, he liked Poe. Liked him more than was prudent. And he was very close to doing something spectacularly stupid.
To his surprise it was Poe who broke the eye contact. “You should get some sleep”, he said, briefly touching Hux’s arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hux wasn’t sure if he was feeling relief or disappointment as Poe left. “Good night”, he called after him.
“Goodnight”, Poe replied, throwing one last smile over his shoulder before he was out of Hux’s sight.
/
Hux had never been so close to following Connix advice but suddenly it seemed as if the galaxy had different plans. First Leia had Poe do a hostile takeover of a senatorial ship to gain more information about the senator’s contacts with the First Order. Then she sent him to find someone who could help her find her brother. And finally:
“I have heard you’re taking the Jakku mission”, Hux said when he found Poe in the middle of preparations for his mission. Leia had made clear that the First Order was also close to finding the whereabouts of the map to Luke Skywalker and that there would be no extraction should Poe be captured.
“Someone has to.”
Hux rolled his eyes but there was something else. As if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to. “And as usual that someone has to be you.”
“I’m special that way”, Poe smiled teasingly. “I’ll be back before you even have the chance to miss me.”
“Just…good luck.” With those words Hux turned around and walked away sharply, cursing himself for not taking a chance when he had had it.
He swapped shifts with Connix and made her swear that she would never reveal he had asked her to. Though considering how badly she faked having a terrible headache as an explanation, Hux guessed that no one would believe it anyway.
It was supposed to be a quick mission, in and out, all Poe had to do was the grab the map from Lor Tekka San and come back. But instead there was nothing but silence for hours on end after Poe had confirmed that he had dropped out of hyperspace over Jakku.
“Nothing?” Leia asked when she checked up on him in the middle of the night with a cup of caf.
Hux shook his head. “We’ve had some reports about First Order movements in the area from our allies but no confirmation whether they reached Jakku or not.”
“Since Poe has been out of contact for over six hours we have to assume that he was captured”, Leia said and Hux admired that she managed to keep her voice steady. “And that the First Order is in the possession of the map to Luke’s location.”
“Can’t you warn him through the Force?” Hux asked her. He had only ever heard stories about the Force and had never seen it being used by anyone.
Leia shook her head. “I haven’t been able to reach Luke since...since he left.”
“Could he be dead?” Hux asked. He had never considered it before in the face of the First Order spending so much energy to get to the map but to hear Leia talk like this…
“I would’ve felt that. The death of a powerful Force user creates ripples. And even if he had cut himself off from the Force completely, he’s my brother and I love him despite everything that happened. The Force works through emotions. I would also feel it if Han died or Ben.”
Hux wished he could do something about the immeasurable sadness in her expression, but he had to ask. “And Poe?” Because Leia loved Poe and Poe loved Leia, everyone in the Resistance knew that.
Leia didn’t even pretend to misunderstand. “He’s alive but he’s in great pain. That’s all I can tell you.”
Hux reached out and touched her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She took his hand in hers and for a moment, held on tight. “Me, too.”
/
At some point Connix sent him to his bed if only because he was falling asleep over the console. He didn’t sleep well and it seemed that no one else had either going by their faces when he came back. They had had a lot riding on this mission and they had assumed it had failed.
Hux tried to concentrate on the new reports on First Order activity in the Outer Rim while Leia talked to the few people in the Republic that considered the First Order a serious threat, to warn them that they would probably make a move soon.
Everything was frustratingly vague until Connix suddenly slammed a hyperspace communique on a holo-pad down in front of Hux. “Poe didn’t fail”, she said triumphantly. “He gave the map to BB8 and according to our spies BB8 made it off Jakku.”
“Where is it?” Hux asked. Behind him Leia and a few other officers were coming closer as well.
“We don’t know yet. He was last seen boarding a Corellian freighter with a man and a woman and left Jakku through hyperspace. We don’t know where they dropped out yet but the whole First Order is looking. Hyperspace chatter is going wild. I already informed our allies that we want that droid too, no matter the cost.”
“Well done, Lieutenant Connix”, Leia said. “Keep me informed if you hear anything else.”
“Yes, ma’am”, Connix said, smiling proudly before her expression turned serious again. “I did not hear anything about Commander Dameron.”
“Understood, thank you, Lieutenant”, Leia replied, not looking like she had expected to hear otherwise.
The knowledge that they had not yet failed in their mission to secure the map to Luke Skywalker put a new kind of energy into the room. Everyone was watching the hyperspace frequencies, looking for any kind of clue of where BB8 would turn up.
No one had been able to identify the man or the woman that had taken him away from Jakku and therefore no one could say what they would do with him. But as they had been observed fleeing from the First Order it was a good guess that they were not First Order spies or allies.
Hux was about to take a break when the hyperspace communications link flared to life, displaying Poe’s identification code.
When Poe arrived safely on Ilenium, he looked like he had been put through the worst imaginable torture. He had a few bruises and scrapes but he walked stiffly and worst of all the light had dimmed in his eyes as if there was no hope left at all.
“It’s good to see you again, Commander Dameron”, Hux greeted him. His heart was racing in his chest just from being near Poe again. The last two days had been hell, not knowing what had happened on Jakku and if Poe would survive.
Poe barely gave the hint of a smile. “I failed.”
“You did not”, Hux replied. “Just before you landed we received a message that BB8 is on Takodana.”
“On Takodana?” Poe asked. “How in all galaxies did BB8 made it to Takodana? And why?”
“You can find out if you’re feeling up to it. The squadron leaves in ten minutes and your ship is ready and waiting for you.”
The smile that broke out on Poe’s face was like watching the sun rise. Hux felt his heart clench in his chest when he reminded himself that Poe’s smile was not for him.
“I am ready”, Poe grinned. He turned to leave and Hux called after him.
“Good hunting.”
/
Where the destruction of the entire Hosnian System by the First Order left the rest of the galaxy petrified, the Resistance rose to the challenge. Hux watched as Poe and the man who had rescued him, Finn, laid out their plan for the attack on the Starkiller Base. His eyes were drawn to Finn again and again and not only because he could only admire a man who had managed to defect from the First Order after being trained by them from early childhood on. If there had been another one in the past thirty years then the news had never made it to the Republic or the Resistance. No, the real reason why he kept looking at Finn was that he was wearing Poe’s jacket. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Poe had taken a definite shine to Finn and not only because Finn had rescued him.
When the meeting broke up to let each of them prepare for the assault on the Starkiller, Connix shot Hux a significant look but Hux wondered if it wasn’t already too late for that. He had spurned Poe’s advances for two years and it wasn’t as if Finn was in any way undeserving of Poe’s affection. On the contrary, he was definitely more deserving than anyone else on this base.
Still, after the pain of the last two days he owed it to himself to try even if it was too late. A negative answer was still better than no not knowing at all, or so he told himself as he approached Poe who was running checks on his ship with BB8.
“Armitage”, Hux said when Poe looked at him, momentarily pausing in his work, “my first name is Armitage.”
For a long moment Poe looked confused but then an understanding smile spread on his face. “That’s not as embarrassing or as bad as I thought it was.” Poe threw him a look. “Did you just tell me that because you think I’m going to die and will be unable to tell anyone else?”
“That’s not funny”, Hux said in a clipped tone. “Thinking you were dead was awful. I’d rather not repeat that experience.”
“Did you just imply that you like me?” Poe sounded delighted at that revelation.
“Maybe”, Hux said and then corrected himself. “I do like you but I didn’t think you were serious.”
“Oh yeah, I constantly hit on you for the past two years because I just wanted to get laid. Aren’t you meant to be some kind of genius?”
“Aren’t you meant to be really good at getting people into your bed?”
“I think we’ve just established that I don’t just want you in my bed”, Poe replied. He let the moment pass, then he added with a grin, “There’s also 15 supply closets, the cockpit of my ship, your bed – “
Hux kissed him as much to shut him up as to just kiss him but Poe was more than fine with that.
Poe hummed when they pulled apart. “Just the kind of encouragement I needed.”
“Certain death should you fail wasn’t enough?”
“In my line of work that’s not anything special.”
“Come back alive, Poe”, it was the first time Hux used his first name and going by the light in Poe’s eyes, he had noticed it too. “Please.”
“I’ll do my best”, Poe replied and thankfully did not ruin the mood by using Hux’s first name. “One more kiss for good luck?”
“You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?” Hux asked as he leaned in. He could feel Poe smile against his lips when their mouths met. It was an answer he could live with as long as they both lived through this.