Work Text:
i.
they put you in the ground today
buried six foot deep
under your tombstone pillow
you lay your head to sleep
i carved your name in stone
the year of your birth and an undecided dash
heading nowhere but ahead
and a thousand times repeating:
NOTDEADNOTDEADNOTDEADNOTDEAD
ii.
i broke my hand today
i also wrecked your place
a hundred shattered mirror pieces
staring back at me
but i dont think it matters
how much damage i could do
because time heals all
wounds
(except yours)
iii.
i made a deal with death today
i offered him my shaking hand
and asked him up to dance
the bargain i bit him was
your return
for an ocean of vodka
and a handful of pills
but they tasted so sour i threw it up
it's a cruel world
when heartache doesn't kill
i bit him a bargain
your life
for a length of rope
tying me to heaven by the neck
and yet i live while you are gone
(i couldn't tie the fucking knot)
iv.
i can't even get through today
every second is a war
i heard there was a final step
but i got stuck on four
v.
you died a year ago today
my love
spring is here
your cemetery looks so beautiful
in green and gold
i wish you would've stayed
we could've gone
and watched
the blooming flowers on your grave