Chapter Text
Post S14e12 Prophet & Loss
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Cas had been silent the entire drive back.
Dean had noticed, but with the echoes of Michael still banging around inn his head, and the throbbing of his jaw where Sam had punched him, he was content to just turn up the music and tune out.
As they pulled into the Bunker garage, Sam gave Dean a look that said “Don’t try and go anywhere, please?” His face for a moment showing the shadow of the little brother he remembered…scared when Dean would leave him alone.
Dean nodded silently, hand on the door handle.
As he stood up, he was presently grabbed by his shirt and pushed up against the Impala.
Cas had fire in his eyes, his face close to Deans as he breathed hard and tried to compose himself enough for words.
“Hey Cas – what the-?”
He stopped as he saw Cas’ face, a mixture of rage, pain…and something else…
“I will NOT abide by you taking your life so trivially.” He growled. “I did NOT spend my grace putting your vessel back together atom by atom to have you throw it away …or worse, give it to Michael wholesale without a fight!”
“Cas, I…”
“NO!” His voice rang through Dean’s very cells, and for a moment he was actually scared of his friend.
“I have watched you go through so much in these years we have spent together,” he continued…voice leveling to a more intimate tone so that only Dean could hear.
“I have kept many of my thoughts to myself, when I thought you were being rash or just a hard-headed version of a Winchester,” Cas spat out the last word like a combination of a curse and prayer. He tightened his grip…Dean stayed silent, stunned by Cas’ show of strength…he hadn’t seen BAMF Cas in a long time.
“We’ve ALL made our deals, Dean,” he grumbled. “But you are bound to ME…” His voice trailed off.
Cas gulped, eyes glued to Deans in silent pleading, the moment lasted too long, neither of them moved, breathed. “I can’t…” he whispered, barely audible, “I can’t lose you… Without you…” His voice was still angry, but now a tremble entered beneath.
Dean was frozen, unsure of whether he should even try to argue, or if Cas had more to say. His mind racing, even as they were both so close, breathing in sync.
Before he could register it, Cas was on him… Mouth accosting his… and before either realized, arms entwined as tongues did.
All the years of longing melted away, both of them whimpering in the release of it. Hands in hair, touching faces, tears coming even in light of so much JOY at the revelation between them. Mouths never letting go, breathing as one.