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Natasha Romanov left nothing to chance. For months, she spent every waking second plotting the details, making the necessary arrangements, and revising when needed. This was her most important mission yet. She couldn’t let her team down; everyone was counting on her.
Transport pulled up at exactly 1600 Friday afternoon. “Come on ladies, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Nat yelled, clipboard in hand. Her team filed in. “Wanda Maximoff. Check. Carol Danvers. Check. Hope Van Dyne. Check. Maria Hill. Check. Gamora, Nebula, and Mantis. Check, check, and check. Okoye and Shuri. Check and… Halt!” Natasha called out. “Shuri, you are not going on this mission.” “But I -” “No. Buts.” Natasha interrupted. Her tone said it all.
Defeated, Shuri sulked back into the Avengers compound, passing the last two members of the team. Peggy Carter carried two final pieces of Pepper Potts armor that wouldn’t fit in her pack – a tiara and sash, both covered in copious amounts of glitter, the last of which read “Bride to Be.”
“Agent Carter and Ms. Potts. Check and check! We’re all here!” She smacked the roof of the limousine twice and put her foot in the door. “Roll out, Happy!”
“Not so fast!” Tony strode out of the compound in a perfectly tailored suit more expensive than a small mortgage. From his recently manicured goatee down to his shined shoes, the man reeked of extravagance, but no one could deny how well it worked for him. Steve trailed behind, annoyed that he had no control over Stark especially when he had been given explicit orders to keep him from causing trouble. Pepper popped out of the sun roof. “Yes, Mr. Stark.” Her tone dripped with sarcasm. “Listen, I’ve been thinking…” “Dangerous.” Peggy Carter scoffed. He ignored her. “I can think of at least 100 better ways to spend the weekend before our wedding, most of which involve you wearing that little black thing and me providing the whipped cream.” “Tony!” Pepper screeched. The limousine as a whole snickered. Peggy leaned out of the open door. “Get your man to stand down, soldier!” She ordered Steve. “Listen, boys, how about a friendly wager?” Natasha asked, playing right into one of Tony’s weaknesses. “Whoever has the most epic party wins bragging rights until Rogers and Carter get hitched.” Peggy turned an alarming shade of red, very nearly matching her signature lipstick. Steve looked at his shoes. He hadn’t even asked her yet. “C’mon, you know it’s gonna happen.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “That’s not fair.” Tony interjected. “YOU planned Pepper’s. Boy Scout here planned mine.” “And how is that my problem?” Natasha sassed. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, Steve muttered, “Alright, alright, you’re on.” He shook Natasha’s hand and without thinking added, “Bragging rights until, well, until, you know.” He paused then bent down to kiss Peggy’s cheek. The limousine collectively “awe”-d. Pepper blew a kiss to an already defeated Tony. “Good luck!
A couple bottles of champagne and a sing-a-long later, the party arrived at a posh hotel in the city. “See ya later, Happy!” “Bye!” “Thank you!” The girls alternated goodbyes. “Be back here at 8pm sharp to take us to dinner, ok?” Natasha confirmed. Happy nodded. “What are you going to do for 3 and a half hours anyway?” “I have plans.” He replied with a smile. “With May Parker?” Natasha winked. “How did you know!? I haven’t even told Tony! Damnit, Nat!” Happy yelled and drove off in a huff leaving Natasha on the sidewalk, bowled over in laughter.
Natasha breezed into the hotel and checked in. “Our spa team is already set up in your rooms, Ms. Romanoff, and you’re all set for a late check out.” She had arranged massages and mani/pedis before their night out. All in various states of pampering or primping, Carol suggested a game of “truth or dare” (Pepper dared Peggy to propose to Steve. Peggy took a shot instead.) which turned into “never have I ever” (Mantis won every time. Nat promised she would lose some of her innocence tonight.) and eventually “would you rather.” “I’ve got one!” Okoye shouted. “Would you rather Thor or Loki?” She erupted in laughter. “I know who Gamora would pick.” Nebula teased. Gamora rolled her eyes. “The thirst is real.” Maria sighed heavily and high fived Gamora. She relaxed a bit and smiled. “To Thor’s muscles!” She shouted. Everyone shouted in agreement and took a drink.
Once they were ready, and slightly buzzed, Happy returned to take them to dinner. May sat in the front seat with him. They weaved through traffic, fresh champagne and strawberries in hand (courtesy of May). With a shit eating grin, Nat let down the partition and asked what they had planned for the evening. “We’re going to grab some food while you’re eating then I’ll be back to take you to the clubs.” Happy couldn’t hide his annoyance, but he figured there wasn’t any sense in hiding it since she already knew. He slowed down in front of their destination, and everyone slowly, sloppily exited. Except for Nat who pecked Happy on the cheek and winked at May. “The clubs aren’t far from here. We’ll walk. You kids have fun.” She was out of the limo in a flash. Happy rolled down the window. “I’d really feel better if you’d let me drive you. It’s dangerous.” Everyone erupted into laughter. “Happy, you realize who we are, right?” Pepper slurred. They all struck a Charlie’s Angels pose. “Good God.” Happy sighed. May snapped a picture. “Text me that!” Nat shouted as they drove off.
It was a beautiful Spring night in New York City. Summer was just around the corner, and the air held the faintest hint of the haze that would settle in soon. The party breezed into the restaurant, turning every eye, only to find that their table wasn’t ready. The young hostess apologized profusely. “I know you had a reservation, but this huge group came in about a half hour before you. They slipped my boss a lot of money, and, well, they’re all REALLY hot, but anyway they won’t leave!” “Well, well, well.” Nat spun around as soon as she heard his voice. “Did you have a reservation here? Aw, we didn’t know that. So sorry to spoil your evening.” “Clinton. Francis. Barton. You. Traitor.” Natasha spat. Tony turned the corner “Sorry, girls, looks like we’re winning this bet already!” “Thor, Bruce, Vis – you guys were supposed to watch the compound!” Pepper argued as more and more Avengers filed in. “We thought we’d move our hurrah to the tower. Besides, I’ve got Movie Quote and IQ there.” Tony replied, feigning innocence. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to leave teenagers alone there?” Hope asked. “What are those two gonna do? Science?” Scott retorted. Hope rolled her eyes.
“Hnnngh.” Peggy let out a sexually frustrated groan as Steve turned the corner. He was wearing a blue button down and black pants, both of which were just slightly too tight, smiling from ear to ear. “Jesus, Carter, keep it in your pants.” Natasha whispered. “There’s my best girl!” He put his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. The alcohol in her system was not helping her stability; she faltered, but he caught her. “Whoa, too much already?” Peggy just nodded. He stepped back to take her in. She was wearing a low-cut red dress with lace details. It was shorter than she usually wore and accentuated her legs. He pushed the thought of those legs wrapped around him out of his head quickly. “You look gorgeous by the way.” He whispered in her ear, his warm breath making every tiny hair on her neck stand up, electrified and tingling. She hooked her finger around his belt loop and pulled him closer, biting her lip. “You. Look handsome.” They stared at each other for only a second before Tony interrupted. “Alright, Rogers, enough fraternizing with the enemy.” He pulled him away, much to Peggy’s disdain. “AVENGERS!” He yelled. “ASSEMBLE!” The rest joined in.
“Pricks.” Nebula huffed. The rest of the group nodded in solidarity. They put aside their annoyance to enjoy a delicious meal. Soon, the hostess returned. “I’m having the kitchen bring you something special… for your troubles. Also, we charged everything to that rich man’s card. Hope that’s okay.” She winked. A few minutes later, trays upon trays of desserts appeared along with a copy of a very long receipt. Pepper held the receipt in one hand and a spoon of whipped cream in the other. The rest follow suit, each posing with their treats seductively. They asked the hostess to snap a picture and immediately shot out a snapchat. “Thanks for the treats, boys! Sorry you won’t be getting any dessert… XOXO”
Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Pepper barely felt her phone vibrate over the bass at the club. “What’s wrong?” Wanda yelled over the music, noticing Pepper making a strange face as she checked her texts. She handed over her phone. Tony had sent 27 eggplant emojis, Bruce a random string of letters and numbers that looked vaguely like an equation, and Sam sent a photo of Bucky shirtless wearing a blue sequin hat. “That hat. It looks familiar.” Peggy pondered quietly, looking over Wanda’s shoulder. “You guys and your cell phones!” Carol chided. “Let’s do this old school!” She pulled out a polaroid camera and forced everyone to put their phones in her mini-backpack purse.
Peggy woke around noon the next day. She had learned to hold her liquor pretty well in the army; they rest of the girls weren’t so lucky. “Ugggghhhh.” Wanda was already awake, trashcan in her lap, flicking through the polaroids. “At least there’s no way the guys won this bet.” She tossed over 3 pictures. The first was of Mantis dancing on a bar with a nearly empty bottle of cherry flavored vodka. In the next, she was doing a body shot off the handsome bartender. The last was a blurry action shot of her using her bra as a lasso. Hope hicccuped. “Maybe we’ll have a chance at Never Have I Ever now.” “Um, guys…” Natasha interrupted. “You need to see this.” She shook Pepper and Carol awake while Peggy woke the others. They huddled around her phone. “I have a ton of snapchats from the boys.” She opened them one by one, and a story began to unfold.
“Tony Stark here...” “Tony, why are you recording?” “Damnit, Bruce, it’s not science if you don’t document! Anyway, Spangles here …hehehe… he can’t get drunk! So, weeeeee came up with a formula to get the great boy scout…” “HAMMERED!” “Who said you could be in my video, Thor?” “I gave you my ancient Asgardian recipe!” “Alright, alright, lets move on. First test: a 1 ounce shot.” They watched as Steve took it. “Nothing’s going to happen, Stark. I’m telling you.”
The video ended. The next began with 7 empty shot glasses on the table. “Cap is 6 shots in. Tony has had 1.” Bruce summarized. Tony inaudibly argued. “I’M DOCUMENTING, TONY!” He turned the camera around to Tony and Steve, who were, in fact, slow dancing to My Heart Will Go On. “This was such a beautiful movie.” Tony was crying. “Were you alive for the Titanic? Oh no!! You were frozen for the movie just like Jack!” Steve patted Tony’s head into his chest. They cried together.
A new video began. Rhodey’s chin was the only thing visible for the first few seconds. “TOE NEEEEEE! Are you excited?!” “OH MY GOD I’ve gotta let Pepper know how excited I am!” Tony slurred. “SEND HER AN EGGPLANT!” T’Challa yelled. “Shuri says they mean you’re egg-cited!” “EGGPLANTS!!!!!!!!!” Tony screamed back.
Another video began. It was Bruce’s nostrils. “Shhhhhhhhhhh. I sent you the formula so you can party too. SHHHH! Don’t tell them!”
Video after video showed one shenanigan after another. Quill and Scott having a dance battle on Tony’s Dance Dance Revolution machines. Clint and Thor doing keg stands, spinning 5 times, and then attempting to throw darts. Stephen bending reality to make the living room into a dance floor. Vision in the middle of a dance circle phasing back and forth and doing the moonwalk.
But the last video. The last video was the last straw.
It started with someone’s thumb over the camera, but they could hear a song in the background. “Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?”
“Oh my God,” Peggy said, reaching into the depths of her memory, “I know that song.”
The thumb moved. Sam, Bucky, and Coulson were dressed in tiny red, white, and blue dresses that left little to the imagination; they even had sequin hats. Steve stood in between them, shirt off, Captain America uniform pants on, marching proudly. The USO boys drunkenly sang “Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and daaaaaaay?” Steve flexed his muscles. Some of the others joined the dance, waving American flags. “Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane…” The camera turned to selfie mode as they all screamed into the phone. “THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLAN!”
Mouths agape, the shock settled in. Pepper managed to squeak out an “Oh. My. God.” before the phone rang. It was a FaceTime from Happy. “How are ya, ladies? I just checked on the boys. They’re alive, but they’ll be out all day. I think we’ll have to call Damage Control for the mess… Ready for your pick up?” “No, but get that liquor away from them, Happy. There’s a raise in it for you.” Pepper hung up, steam rolling out of her ears. Everyone looked at her quizzically. “Nat, call down to the front desk and book another night. We cannot lose this bet!” “Are you sure, Pep? Your wedding is tomorrow.” Natasha reminded her. “Yes, yes, I am.” Pepper stated firmly. “I’ll call for the laundry service!” Peggy piped in. “Wait.” Pepper reached for her purse and pulled out her wallet. “I have Tony’s credit card, and I do my best thinking while shopping.”
With sunglasses hiding the circles under their eyes, the girls stepped out to shop. They’d been at it for hours, shopping and attempting to come up with a plan, when Pepper finally exclaimed, “Ugh, I’m so hungover I can’t even think!” “Me toooo,” Hope groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can help with that.” Mantis touched Hope’s forehead. Her eyes grew wide. “You can get rid of hangovers?” “Why didn’t you tell me that three hours ago!” Okoye ran to be next. “Never have I ever been hungover.” Mantis taunted with an evil smile. Nebula looked at her with newfound respect. “Call Happy!” Wanda exclaimed, “I have an idea!” Once they were done shopping, the girls met Happy at the hotel entrance. They exchanged pecks on the cheek for a crate full of bottles.
“My name is Carol Danvers, and this is our first test. Peggy Carter, are you ready?” Peggy nodded and slammed back a shot. “Weak! This is nothing.” The rest of the girls lined up and each took a shot. “No big deal.” “They thought this was strong?” “Puny gods.” “So delicate!” “THIS got Cap drunk? Psh.” They sent the snapchat.
“Blech,” Peggy shouted, “This stuff is disgusting. I think it’s what they used to strip the paint off the P-40s in the war.” “Yeeeuck! I am SO glad you’re here, Mantis. I may even forgive you for this morning… maybe.” Natasha conjectured. “I don’t think this is going to be enough, girls. When we don’t show up hungover tomorrow, they’re going to catch on. You know Tony. He’ll say it doesn’t count.” Pepper sighed. “Don’t worry about that.” Gamora nodded to Nebula. “We’ve got you covered as far as the party goes. In fact, our ride will be here soon; we need to go to the roof.”
Gamora filmed as they stumbled out onto the roof where a gleaming silver spaceship was waiting. Party music blared through the speaker system. “You bitches ready to party in space?” Valkyrie yelled from the open hatch. A chorus of affirmatives rang out. They sent their second snap.
Steve woke up at 2:47am on Sunday. He looked around, but everyone else was still sound asleep even though it had been nearly 24 hours. “Oh no,” he whispered as his eyes focused on the mess around him. He picked up his phone and snuck to the bathroom. In horror, he reviewed the video clips of Friday night’s shenanigans though he did laugh at Sam, Bucky, and Coulson in drag. He opened the last video on his phone.
“Peg… Peeeeeeeeeeeegggg. Peggy. I. *hic* I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. Like, Ibetyoudon’tevenknow how much. When I first met you, I was like DAYUM.” “Language,” Tony said off camera. Steve gave him the finger. “I just,” He started crying. “Idon’twannaenduplike Rose and Jack ever again, ok?” Tony began wailing off camera. “Marg-ar-et Eliizzabubeth, wait, Agent! Marg-ar-et Eliizablubleth Cart*hic*er, will you, please, marry me, please?”
Steve Rogers promptly threw up.
Once he was certain he had expelled everything he had eaten since he got out of the ice, he picked up his phone again and searched for messages from Peggy. “Stupid, stupid, stupid, Rogers,” he whispered to himself. “She deserves so much better than a drunken proposal, you idiot.” He didn’t have any direct messages from her, but he did have a bunch of snapchats.
“Screw you, Steven Grant Rogers!” All the girls cackled in unison as they took a shot.
“Oh, God.” Steve clasped his hand over his mouth. He didn’t bother to open the rest. He stood up, splashed cold water on his face, tried to make himself look presentable, grabbed his jacket, and ran out the door. He was going to fix this. He had to fix this.
Roughly an hour after he woke, Steve was knocking on the girls’ hotel room door. No one answered. Either Peggy was ignoring him, passed out, or not back yet. He plopped down in front of the door, resolving to wait whatever the case may be. He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out the tiny box. He turned it over in his hands like he had done a million times before, thinking of all the ways he could’ve proposed, but none of his ideas ever seemed good enough for Peggy.
A half hour later, Steve heard noise coming from the elevator bay. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Someone called out loudly. “OOooo I wanna dance with somebody!” Someone else sang. “Bugger, I seem to have lost one of my shoes.” Steve knew that voice. He stood up and pressed his hands down his shirt in a vain attempt at removing the wrinkles. “S’ok, Peg,” Carol slurred, “It’s right here in my BACKPACK PURSE!” She yelled the last two words, and, for reasons unbeknownst to Steve, everyone cheered. They turned the corner, and, despite feeling low, Steve couldn’t help but smile. He was glad Peggy had girlfriends. During the war, she had often been the only woman within a ten-mile radius. Now, here she was, arms slung over Wanda and Nat with a troop of female heroes in tow. It looked like they’d had a good time, and somehow Peggy managed to look beautiful even when she was sloshed. She looked up and met his gaze. Her eyes grew wide. “STEVE!” She whisper-screamed. Before she could say anything else, the rest of the girls screamed greetings at him mixed with various shushing. He shelled out hugs and high fives as he held the door for the ladies, but he couldn’t help but notice Peggy was giving him a very strange look the whole time. “I’m going to borrow Peggy for just a second, ok?” A chorus of ooh-la-la’s ensued. He shut the door and turned to her, but she was already mere inches from his face. She pushed him up against the wall and kissed him hard, sloppily unbuttoning and untucking his shirt. “Huh- Pe- What- are- you- Peg- Peggy- MARGARET!” He finally said sternly. Peggy took a step back, but her feverish intensity only grew. He could’ve sworn he heard her growl. Her large brown eyes stared at him straight on; she bit her lip. “I’m going to deflower you, Captain.”
Steve gulped and allowed himself a second to think about that option. “Peggy,” he pushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her red lips for just a second. “Let’s go for a walk,” he finally sighed. “Tease,” She whined. They walked for a while, taking in the hazy lights of Manhattan. Quite unstable on her own, Peggy clung to Steve’s arm, but he seemed uncharacteristically distant, nervous even. They had walked at least twelve blocks before Peggy was sober enough to finally blurt out, “Bloody hell, what’s wrong?” Steve immediately started blubbering. “Peggy, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have sent you that video. I mean not that I don’t want to… It’s just… Hell, I don’t even remember taking it let alone sending it. I just… You deserve so much better. I was going to ask you on a carriage ride, but that seemed corny. And then I was going to ask you at a fancy restaurant, but that seemed cliché…” Peggy tried to focus but interrupted. “Steve, what are you talking about? What video? What are you asking?” He studied her face; it didn’t take long for him to realize. “You never saw it!” “Never saw what?” Peggy questioned. “It doesn’t matter now,” He grabbed her hand. “Follow me.”
He directed them onto 53rd street. Peggy looked up at him quizzically; he shot her a nervous grin. He stopped on the sidewalk in between two trees covered in twinkling lights. “Do you know where we are?” He asked. Peggy looked around, trying to get her bearings, but they city had changed so much. She shook her head. “We are at 3 East 53rd, the former location of the Stork Club.” Pain washed over Peggy as tears filled her eyes. “I promised you a dance here a long time ago.” “You’re very late.” He pulled her toward him and gently rested his hand on the small of her back as she laid her head on his chest. He hummed quietly into her ear. She was nearly asleep when he said her name. “Peggy?” “Mmm?” “I need to ask you something.” He stopped, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a tiny box. Old fashioned as ever, he knelt on one knee and opened it. “Agent Margaret Elizabeth Carter, will you marry me?” “Affirmative, Captain.”
As they walked, Peggy looked down at the ring on her finger. It sparkled in the faint light of the sunrise. She smiled. “I know it’s not much, but it was my grandma’s. I actually had my uncle send it to me during the war. Right after you shot me.” “Shot at you.” Peggy’s correction had become automatic by now, but then it hit her. “Wait, why…?” Steve stopped and stared straight into her eyes. “Because I should have done this a long, long time ago.” They melted into a kiss that could’ve lasted forever.
Peggy stealthily entered the hotel room, careful not to wake anyone. She shook Mantis gently. “Nrrrghhh.” She groaned. “Please, Mantis, I need your help. I’ve been up all night, and I’m going to be hungover for the wedding if you don’t…” “Boop.” Mantis interrupted as she poked Peggy’s nose. Mantis’ proud smile was the last thing she remembered seeing when she woke up.
After just a few hours’ sleep, the girls woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go. “I don’t remember anything after the Carol won the dance off.” Hope recounted over breakfast. “I wonder if they got all of our snaps.” Maria pondered. “We totally smoked them!” Carol chimed in. Gamora was towel drying her hair. “Hey, has anyone seen Nebula?” “Oh, I think she’s still asleep in there.” Wanda pointed to one of the bedroom doors. Gamora knocked as she entered. “Hey, Neb, can I borrow your – OH MY GOD I’MSOSORRY.” She slammed the door shut. Everyone looked at her with a question on their lips, but she shook her head vigorously. They got the impression they shouldn’t ask. Peggy shot a knowing look at Mantis, and they burst into laughter. “Right, well, should I call Shuri and have her get everything ready for us?” Okoye interrupted to ask Pepper. “Oh, that would be great! The stylists…” She looked at the clock, “…should be there soon. We need to get a move on.” “I’ll call Hap- oh shoot! He’s getting the guys today! I told him we’d get our own ride and completely forgot. How are we going to get there?!” Nat worried. Nebula exited her room, looking disheveled. Valkyrie walked out behind her wearing nothing but a bath robe. A few seconds of awkward silence later, Valkyrie piped up, “Hey, so, I can give you guys a lift… if you need it.”
At the same time, the boys were struggling. The motley crew waited on the street, sunglasses covering the circles under their eyes. “Call Parker,” Tony ordered. “Have him get the things… the uhhh, the tuxes. Where the hell is Happy? And what are you so damn smiley for, Rogers?” Happy rolled up a few minutes later. “Hey, losers!” He called out. “Do not anger him, Happy, he is in a foul mood.” Thor warned. Happy responded, “Yeah, I would be too, playboy, if I got my ass handed to me by a bunch of women.” “The hell are you talking about?” Clint asked. “Wait, you guys haven’t checked your snapchats?” Happy asked incredulously. They all shook their heads. “Uh, you’re gonna wanna do that.” They tapped on the app and watched in disgrace.
“We’re partying in spaaaaaaace!” Wanda’s eyes took up the whole screen. Maria pushed into frame. “Beat that, fuckers!” “You’ve been around Fury too much.” Nat chimed in, off camera.
The next video started looking out a window at a big black sky littered with stars. Pepper turned the camera on selfie mode to document. “So, we’re at this bar – Hey, what’s this planet called again? – Right, Arcturus!” “We are orbiting it!” Mantis threw her arms around Pepper excitedly. “Yeah, we’re in a bar that ORBITS. Suck on that, earthlings!” Gamora finished.
The next 3 videos were, presumably, taken in the bar. In the first, Pepper and Hope were drinking martinis made of neon green mist. In the second, Wanda, Gamora, and Okoye were chugging what looked like pink beer. In the third, Peggy and Natasha were grinding on each other on what appeared to be a thermally-activated dance floor. “Saving that one for later.” Clint tapped his phone. Steve shot him a look. “Like you aren’t.” Clint sassed. Steve sheepishly tapped his too.
“HALA, BITCHES!” Carol yelled at the start of the next video followed by a quick pan of everyone in Valkyrie’s ship screaming excitedly. The video after that was Carol in a dance off with a Kree and an A’askavariian. She won by doing the Carlton. Right after that, a video of Mantis and Maria taking a body shot off a man’s abs started playing. The man sat up and looked straight into the camera with a devilish grin. “Hello, brother.” “For the love of the Jotunheim!” Thor screeched.
The next 12 videos were small clips from inside Valkyrie’s ship. Each of the girls did a lip sync to a “theme song.” Pepper appropriately sang “Work B**ch,” Peggy chose the sultry Billie Holiday classic “You Let Me Down,” Wanda even did an interpretive dance to “Witchy Woman,” Carol picked a throwback “Just a Girl,” Hope sang “Paper Planes,” Maria chose “Independent Women,” Gamora slayed “Respect,” Nebula rocked “Killer Queen,” Mantis performed a touching rendition of “Born This Way,” Okoye brought down the house with “No Scrubs,” Valkyrie killed “I Kissed a Girl,” but Natasha schooled them all with “Black Widow.”
“Yep, they killed us. Those are all kick ass songs.” Quill assessed.
The next video played. “Dance party on a spaceship!” Peggy yelled, Mantis by her side looking over the phone. “Where are Nebula and Valkyrie?” Mantis asked. They searched and spun the camera around enough times to make all the guys sick. “I hear something.” Peggy whispered. They cracked open a door and caught Nebula and Valkyrie making out, but closed it quickly enough that neither noticed. “Peggy, she DID kiss a girl and like it!” Mantis whispered. Peggy lifted two drinks. “To Nebula and Valkyrie!”
All the girls sang “We Are the Champions” in the next video. The video after that Steve had already seen. Now it all made sense. He had watched them out of order, and his hazy brain assumed Peggy was embarrassed and angry after his unsightly proposal. In reality, the girls were winning the bet. “Screw you, Steven Grant Rogers!”
“I’m so sorry, Tony…” Steve started. “I thought we had them.” Bruce finished his thought as the limo pulled up to the compound. His ego was bruised, but a wicked smile crept over Tony’s face. “Pepper is going to be hung over at our wedding. I will NEVER let her live this down.” He all but leapt out of the limo to confront her. “Tony! You’re not supposed to see me today!” Pepper yelled. “How the hell? HOW ARE YOU NOT HUNGOVER?” Tony screamed. Peggy winked at Mantis as she patted Tony’s shoulder. “I guess we ladies can just hold our liquor better, Stark.”
They opened the door to the compound to find Peter holding a giant trash bag and Shuri holding Windex and wearing cleaning gloves, caught like puppies who had just chewed up an expensive shoe. There were pizza boxes, empty 2-liters, and candy wrappers everywhere. Three random teenagers were passed out in front of a giant tv, game controllers still in their hands. Nacho cheese was splattered on all the windows. Blankets and pillows were strewn about. Cards were stuck to the table with hardened chocolate sauce.
“Oh hey, Mr. Stark, um, we were just cleaning because, you know, when I called you the other night you said I could have some friends over and then we didn’t hear from you so we just decided to keep hanging out, ya know, and then we got your call this morning, so we thought we’d clean up a little bit.” Peter didn’t take a breath. Shuri just nodded.
Steam poured out of Tony’s ears, but Pepper interrupted. “Call Damage Control, Pete. Have them come here first… then the tower… then Valkyrie’s ship. Tell them I’ll personally pay them overtime.” Perhaps even better than Mantis at calming people, she looked at Tony and smiled. “Under control, boss.” She kissed his cheek. “I thought I made you the boss, Ms. Potts.” “Oh, that’s right, you did. Maybe I can sell you back some shares. How does 12% sound?” “No, no, I like you being the boss, especially when it comes to the bed room – I mean board room.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “Hey, stop looking at me! We don’t need any bad luck!” She swatted his backside with her clutch before she walked away. He called after her, “What color are you wearing again? Should I find a matching pocket square?”
Miraculously, the wedding went off without a hitch. As the reception was dying down, Bruce, Thor, Clint, Natasha, Tony, Pepper, Steve, and Peggy sat at one of the tables laughing and chatting. The conversation lulled, and Steve cleared his throat. “Peggy and I have something to show you.” Peggy held out her left hand. Pepper and Natasha squealed. “Congratulations!” Clint cheered. Hearing the commotion, the others joined. After a chorus of congratulations, Peggy focused on Tony. “Looks like you’ll be planning a bachelor party soon, Stark.” Tony gagged, haunted by the night before last. “I retire.” All at once, Sam, Bucky, and Coulson shouted, “I’LL DO IT!” “Hey, didn’t you take a video the other night asking her to – ” Steve muttered through his teeth, “Shut up, Tony.”