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From the chair in the corner, Sakura watched as the boys battled against their neckties, arguing back and forth about the proper technique. Her smile wasn’t more than a mere quirk of her lips when they finally turned to her and begged for help. She relented immediately, as she always did. She would do anything for them.
After she wrangled Naruto and Sasuke into their formal nooses, she turned to the tall man besides them, his eyes trained on his reflection in the mirror. She stepped towards him, wrapping an arm around his and resting her head familiarly on his shoulder.
“Need help?”
He nodded and turned towards her, hands still fidgeting as she reached up and manipulated the strip of cloth into a perfect bow. She smoothed her hands over his lapels and straightened his pocket square before stepping back with a nod of approval. The knot in her throat was growing thicker, but she swallowed it back.
“You look good, sensei.”
Kakashi’s eyes smiled down at her. “Thank you, Sakura. We’re hopeless without you, you know.”
Sakura rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well. Now you got someone else to take care of you, you big baby.”
‘It should’ve been you,’ whispered the voice in the back of her head. She pushed it away with a heavy sigh.
She turned away from Kakashi, brushing the nonexistent dust from her skirt as she cleared her throat. It was unbearable to look at him.
“You look beautiful, stop worrying.” Especially when he said things like that.
Tears sprang to her eyes and she ducked her head as she bolted to the door. She felt three pairs of eyes trained on her back as she turned the knob. “I have to… I have to use the bathroom. I’ll see you in there, okay?”
She barely had time to rush down the hall and lock the door behind her before the first sob escaped her lips. She collapsed against the wall, her heartbreak intensifying with every shaking breath. No matter how much she tugged on the roots of her hair, no matter how hard she pressed half moon crescents into her skin, nothing could distract her from the burning pain in her chest.
She had made it through their courtship just fine. Their relationship didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would. When they announced their engagement, she was nothing but happy for them. After the war, after all of the loss and hurt they had all experienced, the joyous occasion was so welcome.
However, the closer they got to the wedding, the worse it became. She had loved him for years. More than he would ever know. She was his student and it wasn’t her place to say anything. So she vowed, as long as she lived, to never ruin this happiness.
A gentle knock on the door broke her from her thoughts. She sniffled and collected herself quickly. “Just a minute!”
Picking herself up off the floor, she rushed to dab away the tear tracks, thankful that Ino had doused her face with some sort of spray that had basically glued her makeup into place. With a deep breath, she plastered on a fake smile and pulled the door open and rushed out, only to almost bump into the one person she really didn’t want to see.
“Oh! I’m sorry!” The woman backed up quickly to let her out of the tiny washroom. “I thought I heard someone crying. Are you alright?”
“No, my apologies. I wasn’t looking where I was going, Mei-sama.” She forced herself to hold her head high as she passed the bride. “I’m fine, it’s just allergies.”
“I see.” Mei didn’t sound convinced, but she let it go. She gave Sakura a sheepish smile. “Is it bad that I’m nervous?”
Sakura steeled herself, reaching out to squeeze the older woman’s hand gently. “Sensei loves you, Mei-sama. There’s no reason to be nervous. It’ll all work out.” For you.
Mei’s beautiful face broke out in a grin. “I love him too. Thank you, Sakura-san.”
Trying her best to return the smile, Sakura turned away from her. “Congratulations on your marriage.” She rushed away before the tears could return. She could only hope to make it through the ceremony.
Lowering herself into the seat next to Sasuke, she crossed her legs and tried to distract herself from the ache. But the man next to her had other ideas.
“You’re just going to let this happen?”
She feigned a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?”
He nodded his chin towards the half empty altar. As one of Kakashi’s groomsmen, Naruto bounced around, chatting animatedly with Yamato next to him. Kakashi stood stone straight, staring down the altar while Gai, ever the best best man, gabbed at him. “That. You’re just going to let him marry that lady?”
“Why would I have a problem with Kakashi’s marriage, Sasuke?” She rolled her eyes. Fake it till you make it.
“I may have missed a couple years, but I’m not blind, Sakura. You’re in love with him. And you’re an idiot if you think he doesn’t know it too.”
“Yeah, well, if he knows it and he’s still going through with it, then it justifies my not saying anything.” So much for that idea. Sasuke gave her a half shrug and dropped the subject. But there was another thing eating at Sakura.
“Does it bother you? That he asked Naruto to be up there with him and not you?”
He snorted uncharacteristically. “I left for five years, Sakura. I tried to kill all of you. I’m still surprised he let me live. I’m not asking for any more favors than that.”
It was Sakura’s turn to shrug, but there was no more room for conversation. The music started and the congregation rose as the bridesmaids—a bunch of Mist nin girls that Sakura couldn’t care less about—started their journey down the aisle.
Mei, ever the strong independent woman, walked alone. Though she was the picture of serenity, even from the front of Kakashi’s side of the aisle, Sakura could see the joy that shone in her ocean blue eyes.
Sakura watched her stride up the steps to the altar to the man that they both loved more than anything else. It was then that she decided that she would bear this pain forever, if only Kakashi could always look as he did in that moment.