Chapter Text
Life as Captain America had never been an easy task; Steve Rogers knew this since the day he got the Soldier Serum. He was constantly fighting someone or something in hopes of making the world a better place. That had been his job as the “perfect soldier” – a title that had begun to drag on him. Despite the 70-year distance from 1945 when he went in the ice, Steve was constantly at war. First with HYDRA, next with a literal God, then with his brainwashed long lost best friend, then with SHIELD, and finally with a man-made murderous robot. Now, it was with himself.
His life had recently slowed down significantly since the Avengers had been given some time off after their battle in Sokovia. The world just didn’t need the Avengers right now. Everyone else had taken the break in stride, just as Steve had in the beginning. After they had gotten back from Sokovia, Bucky Barnes had resurfaced in Bucharest, Romania. It wasn’t easy, but Steve was able to get Bucky to come back with him to the tower with the help of Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson. After that, it didn’t actually take long to get rid of HYDRA’s old programming with everyone’s help. However, for Steve, this meant he no longer had anything to focus on; he didn’t have anything to fight for.
For a while, he was able to keep his head down. He worked out with Bucky. He went for morning runs with Sam. He started drawing again. He even would spend some time down in Tony’s lab, letting him talk his ear off about ways he could improve his signature suit and shield. However, his mind had been consistently drifting back to a question Sam had once asked him: “What makes you happy?” He didn’t actually know. For so long, he had just been a soldier. It didn’t matter if he was happy as long as he followed orders. There was only one thing he was sure of – without a war, the world didn’t need a soldier.
Like every other day, Steve Rogers woke up before the sun. For a while, he just laid there staring at the ceiling. According to his bedside alarm clock, it was only 5:04 am; Sam wouldn’t be there for their morning run for another 26 minutes and Steve couldn’t get himself up to get ready – not that he needed a lot of time to get ready. It had all become routine anyways: Get up. Go for a run. Go to the tower. Eat. Train. Eat. Train. Team Supper. Go home. Go to bed. Everything was always the same. It had now been 2 months since the team had received their INACTIVE status and Steve had become bored of trying to keep himself busy. There had to be something else to his life then just being a soldier; Steve just hadn’t found it yet.
A knock at his apartment door shock him out of his thoughts. “Shit,” he jumped up and worked his way out of his bedroom while tugging on his running shorts, “I’m coming!” He quickly unlocked the door to see Sam leaning against the wall in the hallway, “Come in.” A quick glance at the time on his oven in the kitchen told him it was now 5:37.
“You know, this is the third time you’ve forgotten to meet me down front. I’m starting to think you don’t wanna go running with me anymore,” Sam said with a smirk as he moved to sit on the couch.
“Sorry, I just got distracted,” Steve had quickly gone back to his and changed into his running shirt before coming back into the living room to put on his sneakers.
Sam hummed in approval, “That seems to have become a habit of yours.” Steve rolled his eyes as he tied his laces. He knew all too well of routines and habits. He was living in a constant loop.
“Do you want to go running or not?” Steve retorted as he stood up and moved to grab his keys off the hook by his door. “’Cause I could always ask Bucky to go instead?”
“Man, that’s cold,” Sam shot him a glare as he followed him out of the apartment, “Good luck getting that grumpy soldier out of bed this early anyways.”
“The early bird gets the worm, right?” Steve smirked at him as they made their way outside his apartment complex.
“Ha. Very funny,” Sam gave him a look of distain as they made their way to the park where they always began their run, “Does that make you the worm? ‘Cause you’re slimy like one.”
“No, that makes me desirable,” Steve winked at Sam as he took off in the direct off the trail.
“Yeah, it really makes me wanna kick your ass,” he heard Sam holler after him.
“Well, you gotta be able to catch me first to do that,” he answered as he turned around and began jogging backwards, watching Sam give him the middle finger before starting to run after him.
Again, like every other day, Steve was the first one to meet up at the rendezvous point back at the park’s entrance. He always raced Sam at the last 400 meters or so and for obvious reasons, he always won. As he stretched out waiting for Sam, something on the park’s bulletin board caught his attention: a flyer. Unlike the others around it, it wasn’t a bright eye-catching colour. It’s white and gray shading looked sad in the sea of obnoxious colours.
“I feel like you do that just to make me feel bad,” Steve heard Sam coming up behind him clutching his side, “That ‘race’ isn’t necessary if you know you’re always gonna win.”
“I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt,” Steve smirked as he turned around while tucking his hands in his pockets, “There’s always room for improvement.”
“Oh, sure. Your day is coming old man,” Sam slapped him on the back as they made their way out of the park, “are you going to the tower today?”
“Of course,” Steve answered, “just like every other day.”
“That’s some routine,” Sam snorted.
He has not idea, Steve thought as he hummed in agreement.
“Listen man, not that I’m telling you want to do, but you’ve got to start mixing it up a little. Put yourself out there. You don’t have to save everyone. There’s more to life than being Captain America,” Sam moved to stand in front of him as they near his apartment building, “doing the same thing every day isn’t always healthy.”
“Thanks Sam, really. But, I’m good,” Steve clapped him on the shoulder before continuing onward, “I’ll see you later!” He calls over his shoulder, watching Sam shake his head at him before he walks off in the other direction.
You’re always good, just like every other day, he thinks to himself as he reaches his apartment door and rests his head against it. He was getting tired of just being good all the time. He tried to shake the thought out of his head as he unlocked the door and went inside to get ready for his day at the tower.
A bit later, Steve reached the tower around 8:00. He made his way up to the communal kitchen, hoping for a quiet breakfast. However, as he figured it would be, everyone was already there. They sat around the table in the midst of a conversation. He made his way to the fridge, grabbing out the orange juice, before his presence was finally made known.
“Oh! Look who finally decided to show up. Punctual as ever,” Tony called out from where he was suddenly sitting on a barstool at the kitchen bar, “I’d thought you’d forgotten about me.” He winked before looking down at some sort of tech he had brought up from his lab. Steve honestly had no idea what it was.
“Nah, ol’ Stevie wouldn’t stray from routine,” Bucky pipped up from behind the newspapers he was reading at the table. Newspapers helped him stay in touch with reality and focus on the present. Beside him, he could see Sam raising an eyebrow. He hadn’t been wrong about their conversation earlier and they both knew it.
“Spontaneity isn’t my thing,” Steve shrugged his shoulders as he put some bread in the toaster.
“No shit, Sherlock,” came from Tony followed by a colourful string of words followed. Steve turned back to him in time to see Tony frantically try to get his tech away from the river of coffee spilling from his mug he had just knocked over.
“Thank god, I don’t know if I could handle two of you in one tower,” Pepper entered the room from down the hallway, “Tony, this is why we agreed no projects in the kitchen.” She said as she took the tech from him and handed him a rag before giving him a kiss on the head and walked towards the coffee maker.
“You mean, you decided,” Tony grumbled as he wiped up his spilt coffee. She raised her eyebrows at him as she turned around with an cup in her hand. Tony’s eyes widened at it before he cleared his throat and smiled anxious at her, “which I love you for. I am so thankful for you.”
“Good, so you won’t be upset when you hear that you’re not getting this back until you have something more than coffee for breakfast,” she winked at him as she handed him the new cup filled with the black beverage.
“Honey, wait –,” Tony started as he reached for his tech as Pepper walked out of his reach.
“Come find me after breakfast. I have some stuff for you to sign,” she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the kitchen. Tony slumped down against the counter, grumbling, before he reached over grabbed a piece of bacon nonetheless. Steve smiled at him from behind his toast; he was happy for them. Anyone could see they were good for each other: Pepper kept Tony in line and he helped her relax, albeit he also stressed her out and she drove him crazy. That’s why they worked.
Steve was started out of his thoughts as a hand came down on his shoulder. Steve turned to see Bucky standing next to him. Before he could say anything, Bucky tilted his head towards the door, motioning Steve to follow him before leaving the kitchen. Steve put his dishes in the sink before continuing after him, grabbing his bag on his way out. They made their way down to the gym in silence. He had preferred it that way anyways. As they finally arrived at their destination, Steve put an end to the silence. “How are you feeling today?”
“Ah, don’t start with that bullshit, Steve. I’m the same as I was yesterday and I’ll be the same tomorrow,” Bucky was never one for small-talk, “how are you? Wilson said you’ve got yourself in a rut.”
“Are you checking up on me now, Buck?” Steve shot back without any heat.
“You know I always will,” Bucky retorted as he tossed a pair of boxing gloves at Steve, “you don’t have to hide anything from me.”
Don’t worry, if there’s anything wrong, you’ll be the first to know,” Steve assured him.
“Good. I can rub it in bird-brain’s face,” Bucky winked at him as he threw the first punch.
The day continued on as it usually did. After training with Bucky for a few hours, they ate lunch. After lunch, the team trained together. After training, the all settled down for supper. Finally, they all settled on the couches in the living area on the communal floor. Everyone seemed so relax in each other’s company. Bucky, Sam and Steve sat in a row on the long couch in the center of the room. Pepper sat on the far sofa as Tony laid beside her with his head in her lap. She lazily ran her hand through his hair as she smiled down at him. Across the room, on the opposite sofa, Bruce sat at one end with Natasha leaning against him. At the other end of the couch, Thor was in the middle of telling a tale from his childhood – everyone else seemed to be enjoying it. However, Steve couldn’t even focus on it while enough to follow along. He had something else on his mind: You don’t have to save everyone.
As the night came to an end, everyone slowly began to leave for the night. As always, Steve made his way down the elevator and out of the building. The entire way home Steve still couldn’t shake Sam’s voice out of his head: You don’t have to save everyone. Maybe he was right – he didn’t have to save everyone.
As he entered his apartment, he headed straight towards his bathroom and pulled out his laundry bin. Upon finding what he was looking for, he pulled out his athletic shorts from that morning. Walking towards his bedroom, he sat down on his bed as he stared at the shorts. Digging into the pocket, he pulled out the gray and white piece of paper he had been looking for. He pulled his phone out of his coat pocket with his other hand and stared at the two objects as the minutes passed. He didn’t have to save everyone. But he could save just one. With a shaky breath, he clicked a contact and held the phone up to his ear as he stared at the gray and white paper once again. The words on the paper stood bold and bland on the sheet of paper. The words read:
“It doesn’t take much to save a child. Foster hope by becoming a foster parent.”
“Hello?” A voice answered as the call connected.
“Agent Coulson? It’s Steve Rogers. I need a favour.”