Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Obito had been acting strange for over a month, so Minato decided to bring him and the Team to talk with the Hokage.

"So," the Sandaime said, dragging a breath from his pipe. "Minato, what brings you there?"

"Obito has something to tell you, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage blinked and looked at the young Uchiha. "You do?"

"I do?" Obito asked, clearly confused.

"He does?" Rin and Kakashi asked as well.

"Does he really," Danzo deadpanned, and no one really knew why he was even in the room.

A few awkward moment of silence later, and Obito's eyes seemed to shine.

"Wait, I do!!"

"What is it then?" the Hokage asked.

Obito looked sheepish. "I'd like to tell you but I don't feel safe to say it with that big ass rat in the room." He pointedly looked at Danzo.

Danzo spluttered. "How dare you call me a- a rat ! Pay respect to your superiors, child ."

Suddenly, the room's temperature went down, shivers running down their spine and Obito smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Then, he got out a scroll that had tiny ravens with red beaks painted all over it and threw it a Danzo. "Catch."

Danzo did catch the scroll, then there was a 'poof' and smoke covered the spot Danzo was standing at, then there was a slicing sound and the smoke disappeared.

"What is happening," Hiruzen said, looking at the shirtless, clearly Uchiha teen standing over Danzo's now corpse, a bloodied blade in his hand and with a little too insane look on his face.

The teen rose his head and stared at Obito. "Nice," he said, nodding at Obito who waved at him. Then the teen looked at Minato and then at Kakashi. " Niice ," he said again, and Obito slapped his face with a hand.

"Sasuke, focus," Obito said.

"Don't order me around Obito," the now named Sasuke snarked.

Obito raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on his hips.

"... sorry."

"What is happening," Hiruzen asked again.

"I want to punch you in the face," Sasuke told him and they all gaped at him, while Obito rubbed at his temples.

"Sasuke, focus ."

"I still want to punch him in the face."

"Leave that to Naruto."

"Okay, fine, but don't you want to punch him in the face?"

"No."

"Not even a little??"

"...maybe."

Sasuke looked at Obito with a smug look.

"But that's neither here nor there," Obito reminded him.

"...just summon Naruto please," Sasuke said.

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

" Because ."

" Why ."

" Because ."

" Oh my God you're worse than Naruto! "

Obito emotionlessly looked at him. "Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?"

Minato never heard Obito talk in such a flat tone.

Sasuke stopped to think. "...both? I mean, Naruto is an idiot but he's the strongest shinobi alive. Also he won't fucking die but he can't plan for shit. He also befriends anyone he absolutely shouldn't befriend so it's a 50/50 here."

"I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than Naruto. I can plan."

"Yeah, world domination."

Minato gaped at them; Rin spluttered; Kakashi almost choked; the Hokage looked dead inside. Obito and Sasuke continued to ignore them.

"Rude." Obito looked affronted . "My plan worked. You guys are just freaks."

"Ah." Sasuke looked at him with the kind of expression that said 'are you being stupid on purpose right now?’ and smirked. "I thought it didn't work because you are extremely gay and weak to pretty faces?"

" It wasn't and please leave Kakashi out of this discussion. "

"I never said anything about Kakashi, now, did I?"

Obito opened his mouth to protest but no sound came out.

Kakashi was dying on the floor.

"Get Naruto here Obito."

Chapter Text

“What is happening,” the Hokage asked again, and finally Sasuke and Obito deigned to look at him.

“You tell him,” Sasuke said, nudging Obito with his only elbow.

Obito huffed. “Don’t order me around brat.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Obito rose a scale-y white hand glowing with with white chakra.

Sasuke paled. “Please tell him?”

Rin let out a sound resembling of a dying deer. “Obito, what the actual hell is wrong with your hand?”

“Non-consensual human experimentation,” he answered, giving her a flat stare, then he shrugged.

“Excuse me what.”

“Not now Rin.” Then he looked at the Hokage. “Time travel is happening.” Then, he got out another scroll, only with foxes painted on it and opened it.

Sasuke’s whole face lit up like his birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s day had come early, then he swung his sword at the blond, orange wearing boy that had appeared in the middle of the room- he too, was missing an arm- and the blond parred the blow with a pout.

“Sas’ke, I just got here,” orange blond whined, then his blue eyes lit up as well once he spotted Minato. “‘sup dad!”

Minato spluttered. “D-dad??”

Obito looked longsuffering as he took out yet another scroll, one that was pink with purple and green rombos, and out of it popped out a pink haired girl.

She looked around the room and spotted the Hokage. “Hokage-sama, I want to punch you in the face,” she said, tone even and perfectly respectful.

“Why is everyone saying that,” Hiruzen muttered.

“Sakura-chan!” The orange blond threw himself at the now named Sakura, enveloping her in a hug and she patted him in the back, with Sasuke glaring daggers at the blond.

“Naruto,” she greeted, and Naruto detached from her to stare at the Hokage.

“Jiji!” Naruto exclaimed, hugging the Hokage as well, then his expression turned serious. “I reeally want to punch you in the face.” Then he looked at Sasuke. “Sas’ke, is Danzo dead?”

“Hn, obviously.”

Sakura looked at Danzo’s corpse. “Should I cut off his arm? What about his eye?”

Naruto and Sasuke shrugged, then Sakura looked at Obito.

“You actually want my opinion?”

Sakura shrugged. “You’re the smartest person in the room probably. And you did the time travel. And you’re dead inside, so your judgement will probably be good.”

Obito stared at her for a moment. “Sure. Whatever. Remember to burn the body.”

“Please, no more crazy teenagers appearing in my office,” the Hokage pleaded, but Obito ignored him. He got out another scroll, one grey with wolves and lighting all around and he opened it, however no puff of smoke happened.

“Did it fail? Whatever it is,” Minato asked, a tad bit dreadful.

“Nope,” Obito, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura said, intently looking at Kakashi, making Minato and Rin turn to look at the boy as well.

Kakashi groaned and got up. “I’m so not going through puberty again.”

Minato gaped. “What.”

“Sensei,” Kakashi greeted him, closing his left eye, then he turned towards Rin. “Rin. Glad to see you alive. And without holes.”

“Holes?” Rin asked, tilting her head.

“You really don’t want to know Rin,” Obito interjected, coming behind Kakashi and wrapping his arms around him, and Kakashi blushed,”

“Stop doing this,” he muttered.

Obito kissed him on the cheek, earning three gaping stares. “No.”

“Obito stop being gay,” Naruto said.

“Says the one that went after that one teammate for three years while still professing to be one hundred percent straight.” Obito pointedly looked at Naruto, then at Sasuke and lastly at Sakura.

“Why am I involved in this?” she asked.

“ You know why . I literally met you three for five minutes in the middle of a war and that’s all it took for me to realize how much of a fucking mess you all are. Couldn’t you take a book out of Team Gai?”

“What does that even mean,” Naruto whined.

“Polyamory Naruto,” Obito said, raising an eyebrow, Kakashi nodding along. They ignored Minato’s choking sound. “Add Hinata to the whole thing while you’re at it.”

At the three’s befuddled stares, Kakashi interjected. “Come on, my cute little students. Hinata would probably agree, and all of you would benefit from it.”

“What would you even know about polyamory?” Sakura demanded.

“Do you really want to know?” Obito and Kakashi asked at once and at Sakura’s determined nod they shrugged and answered.

“Gai and Tenzo,” Kakashi plainly said.

“I thought Gai lacked a libido,” Sasuke commented, his tone dead.

“I thought so too. He’s aromantic though.”

“Makes sense.” Naruto nodded, then he turned to Obito.

“Konan, Pain or Nagato or whatever the fuck you want to call him, Deidara and Kisame.”

Sakura spluttered. “Four- four people? Wait- Konan is a woman.”

“I’m bi, Sakura.”

Chapter Text

Obito took out one last scroll, making Hiruzen pale. “No more crazy teens in my office please.”

“It’s the last one, for now,” Obito cheerfully reassured, opening the tiger painted scroll, and in a puff of smoke a girl appeared, midnight blue hair falling down her back and Byakugan active. She stalked out to Naruto and hugged him.

“Uh, that’s incredibly out of character, coming from Hinata,” Sakura observed, Sasuke nodding with her.

“Naruto-kun I missed you so much,” Hinata muttered, then she twirled on her heels and rounded her angry stare on Obito, pointing at him with a perfectly manicured finger. “And you! You better run straight from now on or I. Will. Make. You.”

A shiver ran down Obito’s spine and he nodded. “I mean, not sure how much straight I can go, but I understand your threat.”

“Good.”

“Now, brats,” Kakashi interrupted, “time to get our ages right.”

They all groaned, then their bodies glowed a greenish-white light and once it disappeared, Kakashi and Obito looked to be around fifteen or sixteen, while the other four were around twelve, with Naruto and Sasuke back to have both arms, Sakura with longer hair- but still with a purple rombo in the middle of her forehead- and Hinata’s hair was a lot shorter.

A thin, vertical scar appeared over Kakashi’s left eye and he opened it to reveal a spinning Sharingan, while Obito’s right side was covered in scars as well, even if his longer, messy hair hid them well, his right eye an active Sharingan that matched Kakashi’s. Or vice versa, Kakashi’s Sharingan eye matched Obito’s.

Sasuke and Obito opened their left eye in synchro, revealing respectively the Sharinnegan and the Rinnegan.

“What the actual fuck,” Rin said, the words heartfelt and voice dead.

“I told you! Time travel,” Obito said, his grin a little crooked.

“Man, I hate being short,” Naruto commented, looking down at his body. “Was my jumpsuit always so orange?”

“Yes,” Sakura and Sasuke answered in unison, Hinata making a so-so movement with her hand.

Looking at everyone’s disdain for their clothes, Kakashi sighed. “We’ll go clothes shopping later.”

They cheered at that.

“Waaait a second!” Minato interjected. “Also, Obito, why is your hand on Kakashi’s ass?”

Obito blinked. He looked at Kakashi who looked back, blushing. He looked back at Minato. “Kakashi has a really nice ass.” To make his point, he gave it a squeeze, making Kakashi yelp.

“Obito!”

“Why are you wearing an ANBU uniform, Kakashi?” Minato asked, trying to get back on topic.

Kakashi squinted at him, judging. “I’m a cosplayer.”

Obito tried to cover his laughs with a hand, while Minato blinked at him a few times. “Oh, really?”

“No, I’m wearing an ANBU uniform because you got me to join when I was thirteen and didn’t leave until I was twenty-three,” Kakashi deadpanned.

Minato gaped at Kakashi’s snarky tone.

“Sensei, don’t be a blond,” Obito reprimanded, throwing a pebble at him and ignoring Naruto’s protests.

Kakashi looked at Obito from head to toes, eyes widening, then he pointed at him. “You! You were the one!”

Obito blinked. “What.”

“You were the one that killed those Root agents when they tried to recruit me and I told them to fuck off. They didn’t take it well.”

“Wait WHAT?!” Minato exclaimed. He was ignored.

“Oh. Yeah that was me. It was also me that time with Orochimaru and that one time with the squirrels.”

Kakashi shrudded. “Squirrels...”

“What happened with the squirrels?” Sakura asked.

“...better if you don’t know,” Kakashi said in a solemn tone, Obito sniggering over his pain.

“Is that why you have a deep ingrained fear of squirrels?” Sasuke inquired, cocking up an eyebrow.

Kakashi glared at him. “Mayhaps.”

“Sensei, that’s not even a word,” Sakura said.

“It is now.”

“That’s not how languages work!”

“ It is now. ”

“Can someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Hiruzen half despaired, half demanded, and he was met with six unimpressed stares.

“I want to punch you in the face,” Hinata told him, as sweet as sugar.

“And stop saying that!”

Chapter Text

Having all been dismissed by a tired Hokage (who then proceeded to get drunk thanks to the secret stash of sake kept under the desk, inside a secret compartment), while Rin and Minato tried to rearrange their thoughts around the time travel and the chaos, the others were looking around them in search for a proper shinobi shop.

“Who is paying for everything thought? Me, Sakura-chan, Sas'ke and Hinata don’t have money,” Naruto questioned as they were choosing.

“I am,” Obito said. “My parents left me a lot of money, and I’m actually pretty well off. I can pay.”

Kakashi looked at him. “Really?”

“How and where do you think I got the money to buy things for Akatsuki?”

“Understandable.”

“Is that one okay?” Sakura asked, pointing to a shop at the corner of the street.

They stare at it.

“It doesn’t look much good,” Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto grimaced. “It- it really doesn’t, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura pouted, earning a giggle from Hinata. “What if we got to TenTen’s shop? I’m pretty sure it should be already open in this time.”

“Sounds good for me,” Obito said, starting to lead the way.

“Do you even know where it is?” Kakashi asked.

“I stalked a lot of people, okay?”

No one commented on that and they simply walked in silence to their destination, reaching it in just a few minutes.

“‘Tis the one,” Hinata solemnly declared, pushing open the door and strolling in followed by the others.

“What should we get?” Naruto asked, frowning.

Obito shrugged. “Personally, I grew fond of purple, so I’m gonna go with that colour. Maybe a kimono.”

“... what if we colour code ourselves,” Sasuke stated more than asked.

“Naruto has orange, Sakura red, you, Sasuke, have blue, Hinata can have, uuh, white? Lilac? I’m going for dark grey. Obito stays with purple,” Kakashi promptly ordered, then he disappeared into the lines of clothing racks.

“I’m choosing white,” Hinata said before wandering off. The other three shared a glance and a sigh before splitting off in search of appropriate clothing for themselves.

They met back at the cash register desk a whole hour later, the man behind it only looking vaguely befuddled by the piles of clothes in each of their arms.

“Are you sure you have enough money to pay for all of this?” Sakura asked, shifting to look at Obito.

He shrugged. “Yup.”

After paying and having packed all the new clothes in bags they went to the nearby park, blinking when Minato and Rin approached them, followed by a grinning Kushina.

“So,” Kushina started, “I wanna know every single detail.”

“Hey mum, you’re really pretty,” Naruto greeted, gaining a few eye rolls.

“Yes, Naruto, we know. Your mother is the most beautiful woman alive and you love her so much, we know,” Sakura deadpanned.

Sasuke squinted. “In his defence, she really is that pretty.”

Hinata nodded as well in affirmation. “I personally like the red hair.”

“I know right?” Naruto grinned and Kushina shook herself out of her temporary shock to glomp him.

“Oh my God, you’re so cute! So fluffy! I already love you,” Kushina squealed, and Obito and Kakashi watch with fondness.

“Mum, I can’t breath.” Kushina let him go, looking sheepish.

“Anyway, I want to know everything.”

The time travelers looked at each other.

“Well,” Obito tried, “there was a war, and it sucked, and even if we technically won it still sucked and now we’re here to prevent all that shit from happening.”

“Very eloquent, Obito,” Sakura snarked, but Obito just shrugged.

“Sorry for not including the fifteen years of brainwashing and torture, I guess.”

“And the seal on your heart,” Kakashi not so helpfully added.

“And the seal on my heart,” Obito agreed.

“What about the murders?” Sasuke wondered.

Obito shrugged. “Eh, I never really felt too bad for that. Mostly, I felt guilt over yours and Itachi’s situation but with Danzo dead it won’t happen anyway.”

“You also forgot the whole human experimentation thing,” Sakura reminded him.

“That’s actually the only thing I never complained about. Mokuton is cool as fuck.”

“That’s fair, I guess.”

“And you obviously left out about the ‘nukenin’ part,” Hinata innocently said.

Minato, Kushina and Rin whipped their heads to look at a bashful Obito. “What the fuck.”

“In my defence I was brainwashed,” Obito admitted. “And it’s ‘S-ranked nukenin’, thank you very much.”

Kakashi blinked at him. “Double S actually.”

“What.”

“What?”

Obito shook his head. “Anyway, I was being brainwashed and mind-controlled for fifteen years, you can forgive me the murders and the manipulation, and the whole starting a war. And still, after Kakashi penetrated me I was fine. I even helped you guys win the war, and with the time travel.”

Minato almost choked. “P-penetrated…”

“Yeah!” Obito brightly said. “Completely destroyed me, if I have to be fair. But it felt a lot better right after, so I’m not complaining. A shame it happened in the middle of a war.”

Minato choked again and Kakashi leveled Obito with a look.

“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?” Kakashi flatly asked, Obito just giving him a grin in response as Sakura, Naruto, Hinata and even Sasuke were trying to hide their laughs.

“Anyway,” Kushina bulldozed on, “there was a war. It ended badly. Now you’re here to avoid it?”

“Yup,” they all answered.

“I also really wanted to meet you and dad,” Naruto admitted.

“I personally want to beat up the Hyuuga clan elders,” Hinata stated. “The Caged Bird Seal sucks.”

Sakura shrugged. “I’m just here to do damage control. I swear I’m the only one with a brain. Aside from Hinata.”

“You brats only share one brain cell, and Sakura has it half of the time,” Kakashi confirmed.

They all turned to look at Sasuke. “...what? I killed Danzo. As far as I’m concerned I’m good.”

A gasp, and they turned again, looking at Obito. He looked like he just had a illumination.

“I’m afraid to ask, but why are you making that face?” Kakashi tentatively asked.

Obito grinned, almost maniacally. “I’m gonna Talk-no-Jutsu Madara.”

Chapter Text

Silence fell over the group, then someone choked.

“Minato-sensei, please don’t die!” Rin fretted, patting the man’s back.

“Obito, no,” Kakashi pleaded, grasping Obito’s shoulder with intensity.

Kushina blinked, confusion on her face. “Madara who? And what’s this ‘Talk-no-Jutsu?”

“Uchiha Madara,” Obito supplied, more choking noises following the statement. “Naruto started the Talk-no-Jutsu thingy, but I think I can pull it off too if I put my mind into it.”

Kushina turned to look at Naruto, awaiting for an answer.

“Well, if you can become friends with people, then you don’t need to fight them anymore?” Naruto kinda explained, and Kushina nodded in understanding.

Having finally recovered, Minato asked, “who did it work with?”

Naruto frowned, counting on his fingers as he named person after person. “Zabusa, Gaara, Tsunade-baachan, kinda Sas’ke here, Sai, a few Kages, that one politician, a few other nukenins… oh, and Obito here. Also Kurama! Kurama is great!”

“Who’s Kurama?” Rin asked, tilting her head.

“Kyuubi no Kitsune,” Sakura answered.

“I’m the current jinchuuriki,” Naruto added, Kakashi and Obito nodding along, ignoring Kushina’s growing horror.

“You didn’t ‘Talk-no-Jutsu’ed me,” Sasuke stated.

Hinata stared at him, hard. “You held hands in the middle of the battlefield, pretty much declared your undying love for each other and fought a goddess together. You can stay quiet.”

“Kakashi and Obito did the same fucking thing!” Sasuke complained.

“Yeah, but we’re dating,” Kakashi pointed out. “Why do you think we disappeared for a full hour during the war? What did you think we were doing?”

Sasuke stared, then paled at the implications. “I thought you were fighting! In Kamui, yeah, but fighting!”

“Sasuke, baby cousin,” Obito started, clearly amused. “After Kakashi got rid of the seal on my heart, the only thing we fought about was who was going to take off his clothes first.”

“I won,” Kakashi supplied, wiggling his eyebrows at Obito.

“You bottomed,” Obito reminded him, causing them all to blush.

“Oh my God, I did not want to know that,” Sakura groaned.

“Same,” Rin muttered, eyeing her teammates with a blush.

“It’s not like I told you guys about what we did? Our sexual life was pretty much that one thing, if we don’t include our previous relationships,” Obito said.

“Please stop talking about that,” Minato pleaded.

“I actually want to know,” Kushina stated. “Who’s the kinky one?”

Obito and Kakashi eyed each other.

“Um, that’s kinda hard to tell? Both, I guess?” Obito tried.

Kakashi coughed.

“Can we please go back to talk about Madara?” Hinata asked.

Minato and Rin gave mutters of ‘yes please’ while the others shrugged.

“So, Madara,” Obito started.

“Yes?” Kakashi prompted.

Obito huffed. “Do you know I’m actually related to him?”

“You’re both Uchiha, where’s the surprise?” Sakura asked.

“No, like, I’m actually related to him. Madara’s my grandfather?”

Kakashi blinked. “What the fuck.”

“Me when I found out, really,” Obito deadpanned, ignoring yet other choking sounds.

“Moving on,” Kakashi said.

“Moving on,” Obito agreed, “Kuro Zetsu was manipulating Madara, who was brainwashing me, and I was fucking both literally and metaphorically with Akatsuki. However, Kaguya was always controlling Zetsu, so everything started because of her, so I honestly dunno about that? But Madara, at least from what I found out, was being manipulated since his brother died, and when he fought against Hashirama at the Valley of the End Zetsu had everything- or mostly- to do with him Sharingan controlling the Kyuubi into attacking? Also, Kakashi, what the fuck is up with your dad?!?!”

Kakashi blinked in confusion. “He’s dead, Obito. What about him?”

Obito squinted at him, and everyone suddenly got a foreboding feeling. “You do know that technically the Juubi was Kaguya, right? And due to the sealing method I used, our minds weren’t separated. Like. At all. I found out so much fucking shit it’s not even funny.”

“I don’t see how that would involve my father?”

“Gimme a moment.” Obito turned to stare at Sakura. “Do you have Danzo’s corpse on hand?”

“Yeah?”

“Gimme.”

“Why.”

Obito didn’t answer, keeping on staring intently at her. Sakura sighed, pulling out a random scroll. Obito unsealed it, and Danzo’s corpse popped on the ground. He did a few handsigns, then, “Obito don’t you dare-”

Obito ignored Kakashi. “Edo-Tensei!”

A newly revived Hatake Sakumo walked out of a newly summoned coffin.

“Sakumo-san,” Obito started. “ What the fuck .”

As if knowing exactly what Obito was talking about, Sakumo rose hi hands up in defence. “Okay, in my defence I knew nothing-”

“You banged a literal goddess???? You knew nothing is bullshit.”

“Wait, what?” Kakashi asked, foreboding feeling stronger than ever.

Obito shrugged and Sakumo gave a sheepish smile. “Hello, son.”

“Congrats, Kakashi. Kaguya’s your mum.”

“ Wait what?!?!?! ”

Chapter Text

After the sudden and unexpected revelation- “You can’t just say something like that ,” Naruto complained- Kakashi fainted and the group of six time travellers, three people and one technical zombie moved to Minato’s house, who was unable to decide whether he liked it or not.

Kushina proceeded to make ramen for everyone, Uzumaki style, while Minato went to drown his confusion into the liquor cabinet much to everyone’s judgement and amusement. As Kushina cooked, the time travellers took the chance to hog the bathroom and to change into the clothes they bought.

“...how come your fashion style is actually decent?” Sasuke asked, staring befuddled at a confused Obito. He wore a short sleeved, blue hoodie over a three-quarter sleeves muscle shirt with sewed in mesh, along a pair of dark, knee long shorts and black leggings with blue side lines underneath. At his feet he had standard blue shinobi sandals, then he had kneepads over the leggings and only one elbowpad on the left arm.

Obito blinked at him, then looked down at his clothes. He had on a simple purple kimono, with only small flowery decorations along the sleeves and the lower hem and it was loosely closed by a white obi belt. Underneath, he had dark high necked tank top and form fitting pants, while at his feet he wore black sandals. He had ankles and wrists wrapped up in bandages, with a leather glove covering his right hand. An eyepatch was tied up around his head and over his left eye, while his- now washed- hair had been tied up in a ponytail by a braided thread. “I just dress myself?”

“Yeah, but like, I saw what you wore as a pre-teen. That was awful,” Sasuke explained.

“A t-shirt and pants, plus a jacket?” Obito looked at Sasuke with even more confusion, not really understanding where it was going.

Sasuke rose his hands up in a defeated kind of way. “I give up.”

Kakashi joined them in the living room right then, wearing an ensemble composed by an armoured silver white vest- that looked similar to a leather jacket, actually- over his usual style of tank top, mask included, then he had comfortable dark grey pants with the hems tucked inside knee high boots. He wore tight, fingerless gloves that reached higher than his elbows with metal plaques attached to the back of the hands, and his hitai-ate was slanted over his left eye. “Give up on what?”

“Obito’s fashion sense.”

Kakashi squinted at Sasuke. “He’s looking real fine now, though. Like, reeeal fine.”

Obito blushed, covering his face with both hands. “Stop.”

Kakashi went and kissed his cheek. “Nope.”

“Never mind,” Sasuke said in a defeated tone.

“What are we going to do now? It’s only lunch,” Sakura asked. She wore an outfit much similar to her teen  years’, a close fitting, red crop top with a chinese collar and no sleeves, and a high waisted, pink, leather skirt with a zipper on the middle front. It started right below her belly button and ended a little short of mid tight, the end a little flared to leave more room for movements. Underneath she wore leggings shorts, and her legs were covered by tight high socks and ankle high boots at her feet. She had fingerless gloves on her hands and elbow pads. Her hair was braided back, with an hairband keeping her bangs away from her face.

They all shrugged in answer and went to sit at the table. Minato came back from trying to drown himself in alcohol and helped Kushina to set up the table, and the food was ready right as Hinata and Naruto entered the room.

“Did you make ramen?” Naruto asked, eyes shining. He wore an orange, sleeveless, hooded vest with a blue t-shirt underneath. His pants had orange stripes on the outer part of the legs, and disappeared inside mid-calf high, open toed boots. He had fingerless gloves on his hands and a belt with various pouches around his hips. His hitai-ate was temporarily tied around his neck.

Kushina nodded. “Sure I did! Ramen is the best!”

“I really like the smell,” Hinata commented, going to sit at the table. She wore a white, short, sleeveless kimono- it reached her mid tight- decorated with black embroidery in the depiction of a tiger with gleaming silver eyes. The kimono was closed by a black armoured obi belt, with a lilac piece of fabric ending in a bow on the back. Dark leggins poked out of the kimono’s hem and she wore kneepads on both legs and strappy sandals. She wore a long, fingerless glove on her left arm and a mesh elbow sleeve on the right. Her hitai-ate was at her waist.

They ate in silence, save for passing comments of food appreciation, then, as soon as the table was cleaned and the dishes washed, the time traveler commandeered the while living room in an attempt to plan as well as many of unsuccessful attempts on Kakashi’s part to dissuade Obito of his plan regarding Madara.

Sakumo simply hung around, having changed from the Edo Tensei issued black cloak into Minto’s provided white t-shirt and loose pants. He gave them pointers here and there, mostly regarding Kaguya and how to deal with her in a peaceful manner- throw a sexy-no-jutsu’ed Sakumo at her was the go-to plan- but otherwise stayed silent.

Then, the front door was slammed open.

“What the fuck is going on, Namikaze?!” Fugaku raged, going to shake is friend/rival/who-knows???

Minato gave him a deadpan stare. “Time travel apparently.”

“You are embarrassing,” Hiashi commented, walking leisurely into the room.

Fugaku and Minato looked at each other, unsure of who he meant.

“Why are you here,” Obito stated more than asked. He was surprisingly succeeding at hiding his annoyance, even as Kakashi ignored the new guests and went to kiss his neck. Obito swatted at him.

Fugaku squinted, but before he could speak Mikoto hit him behind his head. 

“Obito, dear, it’s nice to see you,” Mikoto said, giving him a kind smile and completely ignoring Kakashi.

“Ah, yeah,” Obito fumbled. “How come you’re here?”

“Hokage-sama had a mental breakdown. He only said something about Minato and evil children and time travel,” she explained. “Fugaku thought to barge in here.”

“Rudely,” Minato complained. “Now I have to fix the door.”

“So,”Hiashi interjected, “what’s going on?”

In lieu of answering, Obito activated his Sharingan and Kamui’ed he time-travellers and Sakumo away.

In a dark and quite smelly cave a country or two away, six people and a zombie fell on the ground, groaning.

“Who the fuck are you,” a rough voice asked, and the seven turned to look in that direction. An old man was seated on a throne-like rock chair, with long white hair falling down his back and his wrinkled face twisted into a scowl. He wore a cloak and pants, and a lot of tubes were attached to his body and connected to some weird tree.

Obito blinked. “Ah. Hello Ojīchan.”

The others stared at him in befuddlement. “You call The Uchiha Madara, Ojīchan?”

Chapter Text

“You want me to what,” Madara stated more than asked. He was warily looking at Obito, who had a contrasting cheerful smile on his face.

“You heard me,” Obito chirped.

Madara seemed to think about it, then, “no.”

“You don’t actually have a choice,” Kakashi pointed out, his sword threateningly close to the tubes and the tree.

“You can’t make me,” Madara blankly said, sounding a lot like a whine.

“We can, and we will.” Obito sighed. “Seriously, Ojīchan, get a life. You’re also one step away from senility, if your plan is of any indication.”

Madara looked put out at that. “The Plan is fine.”

“No it’s not,” Kakashi grumbled. “How do you even start planning something like that?”

“What.”

“The Moon,” Obito stressed. “The Moon, Ojīchan. If that’s not proof of senility, then I don’t know what it is.”

“Please Madara,” Naruto interjected, puppy eyes and all. “For us?”

A beat of silence, then Madara sighed. “I am willing to… cooperate.”

“Okay, so, if I ask you are a dick about it, but if it’s Naruto you agree instantly?? Man, I’m hurt,” Obito whined.

“...he is Sunshine,” Madara stated.

“I'm so angry I can’t even be mad about that statement,” Obito deadpans. “No off we go, Ojīchan, I need to take you somewhere first, so you don’t die the second we cut off your… life support.”

Obito Kamui’d away, taking Madara with him, a cheerful “go back to Konoha while you wait” yelled before disappearing. Kakashi took it upon himself to destroy The Tree, while everyone else worked on making the whole hideout crash down.

Unfortunately, Zetsu never appeared so they couldn’t take care of him and simply choose to cut their losses and deal with him another time, after making a nice plan. Three days, and they were back in Konoha, a frantic Minato picking them up by the gate.

“Where were you?!” Minato asked in a frenzy.

No one answered, not really knowing what to say. Sasuke awkwardly coughed.

“Doesn’t matter,” Minato reiterated, “but I thought no one else was going to be resurrected???”

Sakura blinked. “Minato-san, I assure you we have no idea of what you are talking about.”

A chill ran down Kakashi’s spine. “What did Obito do.”

“Just go to the Hokage office,” Minato said, looking close to tears.

They did, dragging an unwilling Minato along the way. They reached the Hokage office in record time and from inside came a lot of yelling and sobbing.

Seeing everyone’s hesitation, Sakura sighed and went to open the door, revealing a sobbing Hiruzen curled in a corner and rocking back and forth, while four other figures yelled at each other with Obito being- begrudgingly- a referee to their argument.

Uchiha Madara was easy recognisable. His appearance was now one of a thirty-something years old man, fourty at most and he decisely looked… alive, for lack of a better term. He also was angry.

Another man was also standing out, his picture hanging on the wall. Senju Hashirama was caught in a screaming match with Madara, him too not looking older than maybe fourty, but he also looked ready to join Hiruzen in the corner of mental breakdowns.

Senju Tobirama was present as well, silent yet coldly glaring at both men. The aura around him was dark and he was silently fingering a kunai, clearly debating whether to use it or not, and on who.

A lone woman stood only a few steps away, red hair tied into buns and her amused smile hidden by her wide sleeve. Uzumaki Mito was not going to help defuse the situation, but if she wasn’t too bothered by it then it probably wasn’t that bad...

“Boys,” Mito said, still smiling. “Enough.”

The yelling stopped instantly, all three- four, counting Obito- shifting to look at her.

… or maybe Mito was simply aware she could make them stop at any given moment.

“Obito,” Kakashi started carefully. “Why are they here? No offence.”

“None taken,” Hashirama laughed.

“...I didn’t do it,” Obito defended. “I only messed a bit with Madara so he wouldn’t die, and I genuinely wasn’t expecting those three to randomly appear.”

“Wait a second,” Hinata called, and the attention moved to her. She dragged Sakumo in the front, and she stared from him to the founders with widening eyes. She turned to Obito, then, “Why are they alive?”

Then, upon noticing that, in fact, Mito, Hashirama, Tobirama and Madara lacked the tell tale of Edo Tensei and didn’t have cracked skin a black sclera- unlike Sakumo- and were, in fact, alive, chaos ensued.

Minato joined Hiruzen in the corner, and they both sobbed harder.