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“Do you have to go?”
Thia gave a sorrowful smile and knelt down next to her young son.
Silas was watching his mother with wide, sad eyes, waiting for her answer. There was a tiny pout on his face that she could tell he was trying to hide. Somehow, that only made it more effective.
She stroked his hair gently before leaning in to kiss his forehead.
“I’m sorry, love,” she said. “I know these trips are hard for you.”
Silas wrapped his small arms around Thia’s neck, hugging her tight. Thia hugged him back, pressing another kiss into his hair.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” she said, softly. “What should we do together when I get back? A picnic?”
Silas paused, then nodded, and Thia gave him one more kiss before he picked his head up. His eyes were wet.
“I’ll miss you,” he murmured.
Thia gave him another smile, trying to be reassuring. “I’ll miss you,” she said. “It won’t be long. I’ll be back soon.”
As Silas nodded, Thia grew a bit more somber. She carefully removed her necklace and placed it around Silas’ neck.
“Take good care of that while I’m gone,” she said. “You’ll keep it safe, won’t you?”
As he always did, Silas took the pendant in his hand, inspecting it closely, brow furrowed in concentration. Then, as he always did, he carefully placed the pendant back down on his chest, then looked up and asked her about his father.
It seemed the only time he had the courage to. These small moments when Aedan’s necklace was around his neck.
This time, he asked, “Am I like him?”
Thia smiled at this, her chest filling with warmth, and took her son’s face in her hands.
“You have his heart,” she said, and it was the truth. She had never known anyone who loved as fiercely as Aedan, until her son was born.
Silas gave her a small smile at this, and she kissed his forehead one last time before releasing his cheeks and straightening back up.
“I have to go, love,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Come back soon,” Silas said, and Thia smiled.
“I will,” she said. “Be good for Elaric, now. No trouble. I love you.”
“Love you,” Silas echoed, and his voice sounded just a tiny bit thick.
Thia left then.
Silas, as he watched his mother leave, didn’t feel any sort of dread outside of the usual. No sense of foreboding, no drop of his stomach, no goosebumps or hairs standing on end.
This departure didn’t feel at all different from the many others he’d lived through.
But this departure was different.
When the door closed behind Thia, Silas never saw his mother again.
Silas had a habit of fidgeting with his necklace when he was nervous. It helped keep him calm, though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was its connection to the druids, who had done their best to teach him to control his emotions. Maybe it was the memory of his mother. Maybe it was simply the familiarity of it, it being the only thing Silas had managed to hold onto for most of his life.
Whatever the case, he was fiddling now, as the party made its way through the busy streets of a port city’s marketplace. It was midday, and the vendors were pedaling everything from food to expensive jewelry, and the street was crowded enough that the group had to dodge and slip and push their way through.
It wasn’t that Silas was afraid of crowds. They just set him on edge. He didn’t enjoy being jostled, and he couldn’t help but think of his youth, when crowds like this provided the easiest pickings for lifting wallets off clueless passersby.
More than that, though, he didn’t enjoy the little skip his heart did every time one of the others would disappear into the crowd in front of him, as part of him feared they wouldn’t resurface.
It was an irrational fear, but he couldn’t stop it from getting to him every time.
So he fidgeted, his brow furrowed, trying his best to keep up.
That is, until he felt a hand take his own.
His pace slowed as he felt himself relaxing intuitively. When he looked over at Riley, she smiled, giving his hand a squeeze.
He smiled back, slowly letting his necklace fall back against his chest.
He’d been needing it less, lately.
“Where exactly are we going, again?” Seren said from a few feet ahead of him, obviously annoyed. No doubt she was having the same thoughts on pickpockets that Silas was.
“I found a guy who has a job we can help with,” Rhogar said, and then, with a knowing smile, “Seemed like it would pay pretty well.”
Sure enough, Seren gave a huff, but didn’t argue further.
They continued on a little ways, winding through the streets, then ducking down one alley and another before coming to a stop in front of a little hovel of a shop tucked away into a corner. Though they’d left the crowd sometime ago, Riley’s hand was still in Silas’ own.
Rhogar knocked on the door, and after a moment a small, wizened human opened the door a crack, glaring out.
“I brought the others,” Rhogar said, in a dubious sort of way that fit the atmosphere enough to make Silas smile.
The old man looked them all over, before sighing and stepping outside.
“You’ll do,” he said, in a tone that implied an, I suppose. “I’ve explained all this to your friend here, but…I’m an apothecary. I usually go by myself to get ingredients, but…lately I’ve been having a lot of trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Mara asked.
The man snorted.
“The monster kind,” he said. “Kobolds moved into one of my favorite gathering spots. I need someone to clear them out. I’ll pay, and well. What do you say?”
“Just kobolds?” Seren said. “I think we can handle that.”
The man nodded before giving a grunt.
“Five gold an ear,” he said. “Ten gold a kobold. Here’s a map. Be quick about it.”
As he disappeared back inside his shop, Silas said, “Talkative fellow.”
Riley laughed at this, and Silas felt himself smiling again.
“Come on,” she said, “If we’re fast, we can be done before sundown!”
—
“This is the place, right?” Riley stopped walking and looked around. “I don’t…see any kobolds.”
“Maybe we have the drop on them,” Silas said, as he came to stand beside her.
“Yeah,” Seren said, voice wary. “Or maybe they have the drop on us.”
The party exchanged uneasy glances as they considered this.
They had followed the old man’s directions to an area not far from the sea, where salt grasses and tough, packed sand intermingled. Several dunes, covered in vegetation, dotted the landscape, providing ample cover to whatever could be lurking nearby.
And Kobolds were known for their traps.
Riley slipped her greataxe off of her back. “Guess we should be ready for anything, then.”
They began poking around the terrain, looking for any signs of Kobolds, taking note of anything suspicious.
As Silas passed by a particularly large tuft of salt grasses, something caught his eye within it.
Frowning, he took a few steps closer, squinting into the obscured area.
He was just about to reach out and part the grasses when something suddenly moved from within it, springing towards him.
He cried out and tried to get out of the way, but the creature had caught him too off-guard, and it slammed into his chest, knocking him over before barreling past him.
Silas winced and rolled into his stomach, wanting to warn the others, but soon saw there was no need.
A group of Kobolds, nine or ten in all, had descended on them, circling them in, and the others were all readying themselves for a fight.
Silas scrambled to his feet as the Kobold that had attacked him turned on him again. It started towards him, but Silas held his hand out, and a shard of ice flew towards it, burying deep in its heart. It gave a strangled sort of sound and fell over.
That done, Silas turned his attention to the rest of the group. Riley had made short work of two of the kobolds already, and was turning her attention to another. Silas watched as Orel knocked one over the head with his quarterstaff, giving Seren an opening to slip behind it and stab it in the back. Rhogar and Mara stood nearby, slinging spells towards some of the remaining enemies.
A kobold appeared behind Riley then, small axe raised, and Silas shouted a warning as he raised his hand.
A vine shot out of the ground, wrapping around the kobold and incapacitating it, just as Riley turned around and swung her greataxe at it, ending the threat. She turned and grinned at Silas.
“Thanks, sunshine!” she said, before turning back to the fight.
Silas blinked, momentarily stuck on the nickname he still wasn’t used to, before a growl to his right brought him back into the fight.
Silas slipped his quarterstaff off of his back, imbuing it with magic as he did. As the kobold at his side lunged, he swung the staff towards it, connecting with a satisfying thunk.
The kobold flew back in the direction it had come from, and while it was still in the air, a blast of fire caught it and sent it sailing back a few more feet. It landed and didn’t move.
Silas looked up and grinned over at Rhogar. “Nice shot!”
Rhogar gave a sarcastic little bow and fired another spell off.
“Uh, guys?” Seren said, a moment later. “We may have a problem!”
Silas, confused, followed Seren’s gaze.
The remaining kobolds had begun to gather around one of their own, who had raised an arm. The ground around him was changing. Thick grass and vines spilled out from around him, barreling towards the others. Orel and Mara, closest to the new threat, were quickly swept up in the vines, restrained. Riley slashed at the vines with her greataxe, but they kept coming all the same, managing to wrap around her leg.
“Silas!’ Rhogar shouted, as the vines crept closer to him. “I think we could use some druid magic over here!”
–
“Are you ready, Silas?”
A few years back, Silas had stood in a clearing in the forest, surrounded by the druids of his grove. The druid elder, Jophyra, stood before him, a wooden quarterstaff in her hand, a kind smile on her face. Behind her stood the other archdruids, some of them looking considerably less kind.
Silas, a few years younger but no less stubborn, frowned and stuck his chin out.
“Of course,” he said.
Really, he’d never been more nervous.
Jophyra nodded and stepped forward, handing the quarterstaff over to him.
“You can do this,” she said, so only he could hear. “Just relax.”
Silas didn’t respond, instead turning his attention down to the staff in his hands.
He wasn’t sure he could do this. No part of the druid ways had proven easy, but the magic had given him more trouble than anything else.
He wouldn’t truly be a druid until he could do this.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
What would his mother say if she could see him now? Following in the footsteps of the man she had cared so much for?
The man that Silas had never met.
If he passed this test, if he became a druid and joined his father’s Grove…would it help him understand, even just a little?
Silas gritted his teeth and put everything he could into his spell.
When he opened his eyes, the staff had changed. Fresh young vines spiraled their way along its wood surface, small white flowers blooming in certain spots.
More than that, the staff felt different. It was subtle, but the wood seemed to be humming slightly in his hands now. If you looked at it just right, it almost seemed to glow.
Silas had seen many staffs like this over the course of his training.
“Well done, my child,” Jophyra said.
Silas looked up at her and beamed.
Jophyra was smiling at him, pride evident on her face.
“Welcome to our Grove, Silas,” she said. “You are now officially a druid.”
It was a moment before Silas found his voice. “Thank you.”
Jophyra’s smile softened.
“You did all the work, my dear,” she said. “You should be proud of yourself.”
Silas smiled, but it wavered as he thought again of his parents. He wondered if they would be proud of him, had they been here.
“Is there anything else I need to do?” he asked, quietly, as he handed the staff back to Jophyra.
“No,” she said. “That’s all there is to it, my dear.”
Then she paused, before a sad smile crossed her face.
“Well,” she said, “Normally there is a second part.”
Silas gave her a questioning look, and she continued.
“Every druid,” she said, “Carries with them a symbol of their home Grove. It is proof both of their commitment to the ways of the Druids, of their hard work in becoming one, and of their rightful place in the community. It is a druid’s identity. But it is also a reminder of their call towards a greater good.”
Jophyra’s expression grew more serious, and Silas had a hard time reading it.
“It is sacred,” she said, softly. “And it is a privilege very few will ever have.”
Silas’ heart had sunk by the time Jophyra finished. He couldn’t quite meet her eye when he spoke next.
“Do I,” he said, quietly, “Do I not get one?”
Jophyra’s expression softened again, and she smiled as she gently re-adjusted the necklace around Silas’ neck.
“Oh, my dear,” she said. “You already have one.”
–
Silas gritted his teeth as the overgrown vines began to creep towards him as well, and began preparing a spell of his own.
This kind of thing would be tricky, but if he really focused…
He opened his eyes, and the vines began to retreat, releasing the others and starting back towards the kobolds. The kobolds, who had been looking smug, were now looking panicked, and had only begun to retreat when the vines reached them, wrapping them up instead.
Rhogar gave a whoop.
“Yeah!” he cried. “Don’t bring plant magic to a fight with a druid! Easy pickings!”
“I’ll hold them there,” Silas said, still concentrating, fighting the kobold wizard who had cast the spell, “Just…hurry and finish it, yeah?”
The others nodded and started forward.
Silas watched as the others began to make short work of the remaining kobolds. His spell held, despite his struggling and any doubts he had. If he was being honest, he was more amazed than proud of that fact. He didn’t think he’d see a day when he could go toe to toe with another magic user and-
His thoughts were interrupted as something tackled him from behind, roughly, pushing him to the ground. He lost all concentration and control over the spell as his head hit the sandy ground beneath him, and before he could recover, that something was on top of him, taking swats at his head.
He tried to defend himself, pulling his arms up to block the blows, but the kobold only began attacking lower. Silas felt it grab onto his necklace and tug, and he panicked, bringing his own fist up to slam into the kobold’s head.
Unfortunately, Silas was never one for hand-to-hand combat. The punch seemed to do little but annoy the kobold, which glared down at Silas before raising its arm for another strike.
And then the Kobold was being yanked off of him and thrown, and Silas sat up in time to see it land at Seren’s feet, who drove a knife through its throat unceremoniously.
“That’s the last of them,” Seren said.
“Are you okay?” Riley said from beside him, as she put a hand on his cheek. “That one came out of nowhere.”
Silas gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just a tumble. Thanks for the help.”
RIley smiled back and helped him to his feet.
“Let’s finish up here,” Seren said. “I see eleven dead kobolds. That’s over 100 gold, if I can’t convince the old guy to give us more.”
“Yeah, because you’re such a sweet talker,” Rhogar said, as he accepted a knife from Orel.
Seren gave him a sharp grin. “Who said anything about sweet?”
Once they’d collected the ears and anything else worth taking, Orel sighed.
“Let’s head back,” he said. “It’s going to be dark soon, and I don’t think any of us want to be ambushed in the dark.”
Just as they were about to leave, habit made Silas reach up to squeeze the pendant around his neck.
His fingers met empty air.
Confused, he looked down.
And his heart dropped into his stomach.
His necklace wasn’t there.
–
After Elaric had gone out one night and never returned, after Silas had given up hope that his guardian- or anyone, for that matter- was coming back for him, after Silas had packed what little he could from his childhood home and abandoned it, after he’d been scooped off the streets by a friendly boy a few years older than him, after he’d been fed for the first time in several days and had been given a bed and the promise of a safe place to stay for as long as he needed, Silas found himself thinking of his father.
He sat on his new bed with his legs pulled up to his chest and stared at his necklace intently, as if the pendant with its intricate design could somehow begin talking, tell him something about this man he knew nothing about.
Right now, all alone and ripped from his home, there was really only one thing he could think of that he knew about his father.
Is he coming back? He’d asked his mother once. And she’d given him a sad smile and kissed him and said, Of course he is, little fawn.
Silas’ frown deepened as he turned the pendant over in his hand.
Remember what I told you about that necklace, she’d said, and he’d nodded, because he did remember. She was holding it for him. She’d give it back when he returned.
But he hadn’t, and now Silas had the necklace.
He’s very busy, she’d said, but I’m sure he thinks of you every day.
Then where was he? Silas needed him.
His mother had raised him alone for five years. She’d died a year before.
His eyes began to water, and he gritted his teeth.
He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t like it.
Your father loves you, Silas.
With a cry of grief and frustration, Silas removed the necklace from around his neck and hurled it at the opposite wall. It hit with a sharp tink and clattered to the floor.
A second later, cold guilt gripped at Silas.
Take good care of it, his mother had always asked. Every time. Including the last.
Silas scrambled out of bed and over to the necklace, praying that it wouldn’t be shattered. He very carefully picked it up.
Your father loves us, both of us. Her warm smile. This necklace is proof.
Silas was crying now, and when he saw that the necklace hadn’t shattered, but had received a small chip towards the top, he clutched it close to his chest and slid down to the floor.
When I’m away, she said, as she slipped the necklace around his neck, if you get lonely… Just hold onto this, and remember that your parents love you. And we always will.
He held onto it now, tighter than ever, because his parents were both gone now, and neither was ever coming back, and his father’s necklace was the only physical thing he had left to hold onto that could remind him they’d ever been there at all.
–
Silas stopped dead in his tracks as the reality of the situation sank in.
His necklace was gone. It was gone.
“Wait,” he said, “Wait, my-”
But that was all he could get out before panic closed his throat up. He ran back the way he’d come, towards where the Kobold had tackled him.
“Silas?” This was Riley, concerned, but he couldn’t manage to answer her, instead dropping to his hands and knees in the sand, sifting frantically.
His words came out in fragments as his mind whirled.
“My,” he said. “Gods. Where. I can’t. Where did it. Gods. My-”
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Riley watching him, worry clouding her face.
“Silas,” she said. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Silas stared at her for a few seconds before he looked back down at the ground. He took a deep breath. It did little to calm him, but he managed to answer.
“My,” he said, “My necklace. My necklace. It. I don’t know where it-”
He wasn’t able to finish, but he didn’t have to. The worry on Riley’s face changed to understanding, then back to concern as she scanned the ground beneath them.
“Guys!” She called to the others, “Come back! Silas lost his necklace. We have to find it!”
Silas was back to searching, feeling close to tears.
“I can’t lose it,” he said. “I can't….it was my dad’s. My mom gave it to me. I can’t-”
He felt Riley’s hand on his cheek then, and he looked up, eyes wet.
“Hey,” she said, “We’ll find it. Don’t worry. We’ll find it.”
After a moment, Silas nodded, and Riley gave him a reassuring smile before joining him in his search.
Soon after, the others joined in to. They searched the area Silas had fallen. They searched the surrounding sands. They searched the body of the Kobold that had attacked him. They even expanded their search past where they had fought, combing the dunes as best they could.
None of them had any luck.
When the sun began to get low, Seren finally sighed.
“I’m sorry, Silas,” she said. “But if we haven’t found it yet, we’re not going to find it in the dark.”
Silas didn’t look up from his searching, but the hollow feeling in his chest told him Seren was right.
“You all can go back to town,” he said, quietly. “You’ve helped enough. I can keep looking alone.”
“And leave you out here for more Kobolds to find?” Rhogar said. “No thanks.”
The hollow deepened, and Silas knew Rhogar was right, too.
He stopped searching and sat in the sand, looking up at the others, his eyes beginning to water again.
“I can’t leave it,” he said. “I can’t just…”
He trailed off and looked down again. The necklace was his one constant, the one thing he’d always had, no matter what, the one thing connecting him to his family, the one thing he’d managed not to lose.
“It can’t be gone,” he finished, very softly.
“Silas,” Riley said, “I’m so sorry.”
Silas looked up to meet her eye, and he could tell that she really was. Not just that he had lost his necklace, but that she hadn’t been able to help him find it.
The only thing worse than his growing feeling of dread, he realized, was adding the feeling of knowing Riley was upset on top of it.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You all…You helped so much. Thank you, really.”
“We can try again tomorrow?” Mara offered, but even as they said it Silas knew it wouldn’t do much good.
“We can’t stay here a whole extra day on my account,” Silas said. “Let’s just…let’s just go back to the inn, yeah? Before it gets too dark.”
The others exchanged sad glances before nodding and starting off.
Silas thought he was ready to face the loss of the necklace, but it wasn’t until they had left the area that the full weight of it all hit him, and his breath briefly caught in a sob. He pulled himself together immediately after, but not before Riley had noticed and taken his hand, squeezing it tight.
—
Riley had asked about the necklace before, of course. She was always curious, about everything, and Silas was one of her favorite subjects to learn about. Silas didn’t mind. He adored her curiosity, her interest, just as he adored most things about her, and even though her questions weren’t always easy to answer, Silas always tried his best to.
First, while they had been walking along the trail between one village and another, she had remarked, “You always have that necklace on.”
Which wasn’t really a question, so he’d simply said, “Yeah. It’s…it’s important.”
She hadn’t poked further.
Then on another occasion, when they were sharing a watch and keeping each other company late at night, she had asked, “Where did you get it? Your necklace?”
To which he’d replied, “Oh. My mom gave it to me. It used to be my dad’s.”
Again, she let the discussion end there, though Silas was sure she had more questions.
It wasn’t until they had begun dating that she felt comfortable enough asking further.
It was a lazy morning in a tavern room, and Silas had been doing his best impression of a sleeping druid, trying not to notice that Riley had been gently trying to get him to stir.
“I know you’re awake,” she’d finally said, but didn’t make any moves to do anything about it.
Silas smiled and rolled over, burying himself deeper into Riley’s embrace.
“I’m not,” he said. “You must be hearing things.”
She laughed, though Silas could hear a bit of a pout in her voice when she spoke again.
“All I hear,” she said, “Is a very cute voice, lying to me.”
“Five more minutes,” he replied. “Please?”
And Riley had laughed again and coalesced.
A moment later, though, she’d said, “Your necklace….it. Was your dad’s?”
Silas, surprised at the question, didn’t answer right away.
“Yes,” he finally said. “He gave it to my mom when he…when he left. She gave it to me every time she went on a job, so…”
He trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish the thought. RIley knew what had happened to his mother on her last job.
Riley hugged him a little closer, and changed the subject off of his mother.
“What does the symbol mean?” she asked. “It’s very pretty.”
Silas shifted so he could look down at the symbol on the necklace. It was deer’s head with tree branches for antlers, the branches curling up and around the druid triskelion.
He didn’t think about it much. Not because it wasn’t important, but because he’d seen it so often, for so many years. Like the face of a loved one, the details had blurred into a feeling.
“It’s the symbol of his grove,” he said. “Well…my grove too, now. It shows that we’re a member of it. Every grove has a different one.”
Riley thought this over for a moment.
“It’s kind of like…my satchel,” she said. “Rose gave it to me to help me remember my time in the circus, so…it kind of reminds me I. Belonged there.”
Silas smiled. “Yeah. Kind of like that.”
“I can’t imagine giving Rose’s gift away,” she went on. “I’d have to…”
She trailed off as she looked down at Silas, her face growing serious for a moment. Then, she smiled again.
“He must have loved her a lot,” she said.
SIlas stared at Riley in surprise for a moment, before looking back down at his necklace. “Yeah. I…I guess so.”
There was a long pause.
“He told her he’d come back,” Silas finally said, quietly. “He asked her to hold onto it for him, until he came back. It was like a promise.”
Riley seemed to understand what he was getting at.
She pulled him closer again.
“I think he meant well,” she said. “It seems like…he really wanted to keep that promise. Like he wanted you all to have hope.”
Silas didn’t answer, though his eyes were beginning to feel wet.
“I think that would make sense, anyway,” Riley added, softly, “If he’s anything like you.”
And in the quiet morning, Silas heard his mother’s voice in his head.
You have his heart.
–
The journey back to the inn was a long one.
Silas spent it in silence. The mood was more somber than it should have been, given their recent victory. Silas blamed himself for that.
He could tell Riley was watching him. She kept glancing over at him, concerned, but he didn’t know what to say. It was all too much, and he didn’t want her to worry.
When they finally reached the inn, Silas slipped away from the group and up to his room. He knew the others would notice his absence, but he’d be better equipped to answer their questions once he’d had the time to gather himself. Or at least, he hoped he would be.
His mind was too busy to even attempt sleep, so he sat down on the bed instead. He stared down at his feet, trying to come to terms with what had happened.
Gone. His necklace was gone.
He’d been alone for several minutes when he heard the door to the room open, and he looked up to see Riley approaching him, a bowl in her hand and a hesitant smile on her face.
He tried to smile back, to reassure her, but he wasn’t sure how successful he was. “Hey, Ri.”
“I brought you some stew,” Riley said, holding the bowl out. “It’s not that bad, for a tavern stew. The meat wasn’t even that chewy!”
Silas smiled again, a bit more genuinely this time.
“Thanks,” he said. “But I’m not…I’m not feeling too hungry right now, really.”
Riley’s smile faltered as she set the bowl aside and came to sit next to him on the bed. Silas rested his head against her arm, thankful for the company.
“I shouldn’t be this upset,” he mumbled. “It’s not like anyone got hurt. It was just…it was just a stupid necklace.”
Even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true.
Riley seemed to know it, too.
“It was important to you,” she said, quietly.
Silas didn’t answer for a moment, too busy trying to keep his emotions in check.
“It’s just,” he said, his voice thick now, “It was all I had left of them. Either of them.”
Riley’s arms were wrapping around him now, pulling him in closer. When he climbed into her lap, she gently pulled them both down onto the bed, wrapping Silas up into an embrace as she did so.
“I know,” she said.
Silas was crying now, because he could hear his mom’s voice in his head, asking him for the last favor she ever would.
“She asked me to take care of it,” he said. “She told me to look after it, and I-”
“Silas,” Riley said, gently, “She’d understand.”
“No, but I still-”
He stopped as he sobbed, and buried his face into Riley’s chest.
“How could I lose it like that?” he said. “Why wasn’t I more careful? It was…the one thing I couldn't…”
He trailed off, unable to finish the thought. It was too much. The necklace meant too much. His last promise to his mother, the last thing she’d given him, his connection to his Grove, his identity as a druid, the only piece of his father he’d ever had, the chance to find his father, somehow, and show him that necklace, to have him understand…
It was all gone.
So he let himself cry, and he let Riley hold him, until her comfort and his own exhaustion helped his tears give way into an uneasy sleep.
–
“Mama, what’s this?”
Silas was four, and wearyingly precocious, but his mother liked to humour most of his antics, so when he scrambled up into her lap and began examining her necklace, she only smiled and ruffled his curls.
“It’s a necklace,” she said, and Silas gave her a pout.
“I know,” he said, “But what’s it for? You always have it.”
Thia laughed.
“It’s not really for anything, dear,” she said. “I always have it because your father gave it to me.”
Silas blinked and looked down at the pendant again. “Oh.”
Thia noticed his change in demeanor, and shifted so she could wrap him up in a hug, giving his cheek a raspberry.
“Can I tell you a secret, little fawn?” she asked, and Silas, giggling, nodded. “Before you were born, your father had to go back to his home. He didn’t want to, but they needed him. He told me to keep this necklace. He said he’d come back someday, and I could give it back to him then.”
Silas seemed to consider this. Thia gave him a kiss.
“Your father loves us,” she said. “Both of us. This necklace is proof. It was very important to him. So I’m keeping it safe for him. Will you help me do that?”
Silas smiled and nodded.
“Good,” Thia said, before lifting him off of her lap and setting him back on his feet. “Now, go play. It’s nearly supper.”
And Silas had, happy and content, with the image of a father who loved him and a mother happy to welcome him home fresh in his mind.
–
Silas awoke feeling hollow.
It had been a long time since he’d felt that emptiness, especially in the morning, when he woke up next to Riley. But the loss of his necklace was still fresh on his mind; he could still almost feel its absence around his neck, and every time he thought of it his stomach tightened a little more into a knot.
And also, he suddenly realized with a start, he couldn’t actually feel Riley beside him this morning.
Confused, he turned over, prepared to pull himself closer to her again, and instead sat up, surprised.
Riley wasn’t lying beside him. She wasn’t in the room. He was alone.
“Riley?” he called.
When there was no answer, he quickly got to his feet.
He shouldn’t be worried. There was no reason to think anything had happened. She’d probably just gone downstairs for breakfast, or for a quick morning walk.
But it was so unlike her to leave him without saying anything.
Orel was the only one in the inn’s small dining area aside from the barkeep when Silas made his way downstairs. He gave Silas an acknowledging nod.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Have you seen Riley?” Silas asked.
If Orel was bothered by Silas’ lack of a returning greeting, he didn’t show it. He simply shook his head and gave him a curious look.
“She’s usually in your room with you at this hour,” Orel said. “Is she not?”
“No,” Silas said, his stomach twisting again, ever so slightly. “I’m…I’m going to go look for her, okay? I’ll be back.”
Orel gave him another nod and a reassuring smile. “I’m sure she’s nearby. Don’t wander too far off.”
Silas stepped out of the inn into the salty morning air. It was refreshing, and the sound of waves nearby was calming, but Silas wasn’t much in a mood to appreciate either of those things. He glanced about, hoping to spy a glimpse of Riley, and when he didn’t, he started forward.
But where could she have gone? Where would he even start-
“Silas!”
He turned towards the voice as relief flooded through him. Riley was jogging up to him, looking equal parts overjoyed and sheepish, and he gave her a smile as she stopped in front of him.
“Morning,” he said.
“Silas,” Riley said, catching her breath. “Sorry. I wanted to be back before you woke up.”
“I was just a little worried,” Silas admitted. “Is everything okay?”
At this, Riley brightened up.
“Everything’s great,” she said. “I have something to show you. Close your eyes.”
Silas raised an eyebrow at her, but did as she asked.
A few seconds later, he felt her gently place something around his neck.
He opened his eyes, blinking, and looked down at his chest to find a necklace resting there. A Druid necklace.
For a fraction of a second, Silas thought Riley had somehow found a new necklace, as similar to his as she could find, to help make his loss easier. But then he took the pendant into his hand and his heart leapt.
He saw the imperfections in the old metal, a pattern of wear that he knew by heart. He saw the small chip in the top, from the night he had thrown it at the wall. His thumb traced over the familiar groove on one side of the pendant, where years of fidgeting had worn down the metal.
Most obvious, though, was the pendant’s design. A deer. Tree branches. A triskelion.
It was his Grove’s symbol. The symbol of his father’s Grove.
This wasn’t a necklace. This was his necklace.
Silas looked up at Riley, shocked. He opened his mouth to say something, but found he didn’t have any words.
She gave him a smile.
“I know how much it means to you,” she said. “And I hated seeing you so upset. So, after you fell asleep, I went back to try again.”
Silas blinked, surprised again.
“Have you,” Silas said, quietly, “have you been…looking for this all night?”
Riley smiled again, this time sheepishly.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “I knew I’d find it if I kept trying. It took a little longer than I thought it would. I really wanted to be back before you got up.”
Silas only continued to stare at Riley, blinking more as his eyes began to water.
“Riley,” he managed, before the words failed him again. He looked back down at his necklace, still not quite believing he had it back.
“How did you,” he started, trying to find the words, “It was…it was dark, and…”
“My prism!” Riley said, grinning. “It can cast light, so I just used that. I’m just glad I found it. I knew I was taking too long, and-”
She couldn’t finish the thought, because in that moment Silas closed the gap between them and pulled her down into a kiss. When he pulled away, he wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek, once, twice, several times, as he started to cry.
“Thank you,” he said, as clearly as he could around tears. “Riley, thank you. Thank you. You didn't….you didn’t have to do this.”
Riley smiled and straightened back up, taking Silas with her and scooping him up into her arms.
“I know,” she said. “I wanted to.”
Silas gave a laugh that was half a sob.
“This means,” he said, voice still thick, “So much to me, Ri. Really, I…”
But he couldn’t put into words the sheer amount of gratitude he felt, so he settled for kissing her again.
It seemed to get the point across just fine. Riley smiled and brushed some of his curls away from his face.
“The cord was broken,” she said. “I sort of…tied it back together, but…”
“I’ll fix that,” Silas said. “It’s not important. I thought I’d lost the whole thing. I thought…”
He trailed off, looking down at the necklace once more, before looking back up at Riley, beaming.
“You’re incredible,” he said. “You know that?”
She blushed at this, averting her gaze, but smiled all the same.
Silas saw this and smiled back as he leaned in to kiss her cheek again.
“You’re incredible,” he repeated, softer this time. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
“Silas,” Riley said, before smiling again and kissing him back.
As she pulled away, Silas said, “This is. The nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me, Ri, I…I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
Riley laughed softly and shook her head.
“You don’t have to,” she said. “You deserved it, because. Because you’re, well…you.”
Silas’ heart skipped a beat, and he could feel himself blushing.
“Well,” he finally managed to say, “There has to be something I can do, right?”
Riley laughed again.
“I am pretty tired now,” she said. “You think the others would be okay with staying here an extra day after all?”
“I think they’ll have to be,” Silas said. “I’m not going to let anyone disturb you.”
Riley rested her forehead against Silas’. “And will there be cuddling?”
“The whole day,” Silas said, smiling.
“Mm,” Riley said, as she started back towards the inn, “My hero.”
Silas laughed at this, then reached up to find his necklace.
He found the pendant, and held on tight.
–
It wasn’t uncommon for Aedan’s work to be interrupted.
His concentration on a book detailing the fauna of southern Byram was interrupted as he felt arms wrap around his chest, the soft feeling of lips just barely grazing his neck.
He smiled and put the book aside.
“Hi, love,” he said, and Thia laughed as she gave his cheek a kiss.
He never really minded being interrupted.
“Aedan,” Thia was saying, as she straightened up again and took his hand, “Look.”
She gently guided him down to her stomach, and pressed his palm against it, holding it there. Aedan held very still until he felt a small thump against his hand.
“Oh!” he exclaimed, as Thia released his hand. “They….they moved!”
Thia smiled and rested her own hands against her stomach.
“Getting restless,” she said, a bit wistful. “If he’s anything like his father, I bet he’s ready to see the world.”
Aedan smiled again, shaking his head. “You’re so sure it’s a boy.”
“Just a hunch,” Thia replied, shrugging.
“And me with the perfect name picked out for a girl.”
“I’m not naming my daughter Drusilla,” Thia said blankly, before shooting Aedan a grin.
Aedan smiled back, but then his smile faded as he began to reach for his book.
Thia noticed right away, frowning and putting a hand on his cheek. “Aedan? What’s wrong?”
He sighed. “It’s just…I’ll be leaving in a week, and…”
Thia gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know, love. It’s not ideal, is it?”
“I’ll miss his birth,” Aedan said. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, and. Best case, I’ll still probably-”
“Hey,” Thia said, taking Aedan’s face in her hands. “We’ve already talked about this, remember? You’ll be back when you can be back. It can’t be helped.”
Aedan studied Thia’s face for a moment before he answered. “What if I didn’t go?”
She smiled and kissed him, before letting him go again. “You have to, love,” she said. “Your family needs you.”
Aedan thought of the letter he’d received from his Grove, asking for him to return. Asking for his help.
“You’re my family, too,” he said, quietly.
Thia looked surprised for a moment before she smiled again.
“And this family,” she said, leaning in to kiss him again, “will still be here when you get back. I love you, Aedan. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I didn’t think you would,” he said. “I just…”
He trailed off, and after a moment Thia pulled him to his feet before embracing him.
“I know,” she said. “I know.”
“You’re too good to me, you know,” Aedan said. “Letting me go off to who knows where at a time like this.”
“Please,” Thia replied, not without warmth, “What kind of a person would I be if I didn’t let you go?”
“I wouldn’t blame you,” he said, and Thia laughed.
“You need to do this,” she said, as she pulled back from the embrace. “I know it, and you know it. And when your job is done and you find your way back here…I’ll be waiting. And so will our son.”
“Or daughter,” Aedan added.
Thia shrugged. “I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”
Aedan laughed, his heart swelling, as Thia so often made it do. He thought of something, then. Something else he needed to do.
“Hold still,” he said, before slipping his necklace off of his own neck and placing it around hers.
Thia stared at him, then down at the necklace, then back up at him.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I want you to have it,” he said. “At least until I get back.”
“I thought you said this was important,” she said.
Aedan nodded. “It is.”
“Isn’t this…what makes you a druid, or something? Can you just give this away?”
Aedan laughed again. “Sort of, and probably not. I might have some explaining to do back home.”
Thia looked hesitant now, so Aedan leaned forward and kissed her. When he pulled away, he said, “I want you to have it, so you remember I am coming back.”
“Aedan,” Thia said, “I already know that.”
“I know,” he said. “But, I just…I’ll feel better, knowing you have that.”
He couldn’t read her expression now. Even now, she was still so often a mystery, his Thia.
“I love you,” he said. “I love both of you. I hate the idea of leaving you. If I have to…I want you to know that coming back will always, always be on my mind.”
Thia stared at him for a few more seconds, and he could have sworn her eyes looked watery. Finally, she looked back down at the necklace again before smiling.
“Alright,” she said. “I’ll keep it safe.”
–
Riley fell asleep almost as soon as she and Silas had gotten comfortable in their bed, but Silas hadn’t quite drifted off yet. He was studying his necklace, flipping it over and examining every inch of it, re-committing it to his memory. He’d had quite a close scare with it. He didn’t want to risk forgetting a single detail of it.
He still couldn’t believe Riley had gone out and searched for it all night. Every time he thought about it, his heart felt like it might burst. What he’d said had been true. She was incredible, and wonderful, and a miracle, and far too good to him. Far too good for him, really, and yet here she was.
So many memories connected to his necklace. Not all of them were happy, but many of them were.
He was loved. He’d always been loved. His necklace helped him remember that.
And now Riley was included in that, too.
Silas let the pendant fall back against his chest as he turned to snuggle deeper into Riley’s side.
For years, his necklace had been the steadiest thing in his life. The one constant, the one thing he could always count on being there.
That had been changing, recently.
He was pretty sure there was at least one other constant in his life now.
It didn’t take much longer for Silas to follow Riley back to sleep.