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You wake up to birds singing and the sun shining through the blinds in your room, and you know it’s going to be a fantastic day.
You rub your eyes and stretch, wondering who exactly you feel like- will it be Jane or John?- but then you remember. You have a date today! If you show up as John they will be pretty confused, wondering why your twin brother showed instead of you! You smile to yourself, throw the covers off your legs, and reach over to your nightstand for your glasses. Which pair- ah, that’s the one! The circle frames just fit your face so much better as Jane, you and your twin think- the square frames just don’t cut it for as classy a lady as yourself!
You walk out into the hallway, making your way towards the bathroom to take care of business, as is your usual morning routine, but your sibling’s in there.
“Joooooooohn,” you whine, throwing yourself against the door, “Hurry uuuuuuuup, I gotta peeeeeeee.”
“I’m not John today brother, and you’re just going to have to hold it for a while,” your apparently sister replies from the other side of the door. You jump to your feet in indignation.
“What? Hey, no! I have to be Jane today!” You squawk, and your voice definitely does not crack. Of course not! You are a refined lady.
“No you don’t, John. Just deal, and quit whining. I’ll be out in a second.” Wow, they sure are crabby this morning!
“I am not being John today! I was John yesterday, so YOU have to be him today!” You huff.
Jane sighs and throws open the door. You apparently interrupted her in the middle of putting on eyeliner, and she looks kinda silly with only an eye and a half done! “Well, JOHN, you were Jane three times in a row last week, and I didn’t complain one little bit even though I so desperately wanted to, so you’re just going to have to take one for the team today!” She does not sound nearly as silly as she looks.
You throw yourself on the floor in an uncontrolled flop at her feet. “But bestest most favorite twiiiiiiiin,” you whine, wrapping your arms around her ankles and talking over her protestations of "I'm your only twin, that's what twin means, that there are two of us" because gosh you have a point to make, “I have a date today as Jane! I can not show up as John; they will be all confused and stuff.” Flattery and logic always works on your previous womb-mate! You are sure to have won this round of sibling squabbling!
“Oh, you got me a date! How thoughtful of you. Tell you what, I’ll let you pick out my outfit,” Jane shoots back, an evil smile upon her lips. Maybe flattery doesn’t work as much as you thought.
You jump back to your feet, frustrated. “Oh no you do not! I am going on that date as Jane, not you! You don’t even know who it is!”
Before the two of you can really start going at it- the verbal warfare between your twin and yourself is, though infrequent, violent and terrifying enough to be the material for cautionary tales told to scare little kids into behaving- your father peaks his head into the hallway from the stairs.
The both of you freeze. Dad hates it when you start bickering, especially at something so silly as who gets to be who! He thinks you should just set up a schedule and be done with it. You can tell that he doesn’t entirely understand how this works, and he can never tell the two of you apart just by looks when you’re both in gender neutral clothing- which is probably the reason why he keeps looking back and forth between the two of you in confusion. He has to wait until he hears your voice to separate your personalities at all! Despite it all, or maybe because of it, he’s very cool about the whole “genderfluid” thing your twin and you have going on, and he tries to be as accepting and open minded as he can, so you can never get frustrated at him for any misguided ideas! It took a while for him to really get it, but once he did he went all out! (In fact, he can even be a little embarrassing about it at times.) Right now though, instead of being accepting, dad just looks kind of perturbed. Uh oh! You sure hope you two didn’t interrupt his daily shaving ritual...
“John, Jane,” your dad says, eyes flicking between the both of you, now obviously unsure as to who was who- like the both of you are, actually! “What in the blazes is going on up here, and so early in the morning?”
You look at Jane, and she looks at you. Obviously she expects you to explain, and after giving her the stink eye you sigh heavily and turn towards your dad, even though it should totally be your twin telling him what happened!
“Well, I woke up and was all happy because it is a beautiful day and I have a date today! But then I come out to use the bathroom and John over here-” you thrust your finger at your sibling, who starts frowning even harder at the name- “has decided to insist upon being Jane today, even though I was John yesterday and I have to be Jane for my date!”
“And I told John,” intervenes your sibling, giving you a look with pursed lips and squinty eyes (which looks kind of funny on her half made up face), “that he would just have to wait to be Jane as I did last week.”
Your dad’s eyes had lit up when you first started talking as he figured out who you were personality-wise by your voice- he always gets excited when he figures out who's who!- but now he just looks a little disappointed. Gah! This is why you didn’t want to be the one to tell him what happened. You can’t face all that stern fatherly disapproval! He sighs.
“You two are siblings, you really should not be arguing over such a silly thing. Jane,” he says, addressing your twin, “is there any reason why you must be Jane today, or can your lovely sister have the honors for her date?” Oh yes, your dad’s siding with you on this one!
“Well, other than my own feelings on the matter I suppose not. I am just feeling a mite dysphoric at the idea of being John today and would much prefer Jane.” Your sister says this with a saddened and uncomfortable expression, and you immediately feel your stomach turn over a bit and your throat tighten. You are a terrible person!
“Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling that way? I would have let you be Jane without any fuss!” You lay a hand on her shoulder, eyebrows scrunching up in worry.
“I didn’t want to worry you. I know your dysphoria gets much worse than mine anyway; it’s not as big a deal for me to feel that way. I’m sorry,” she looks down at the ground, “I was simply being selfish by wanting to be Jane. You can be her.”
You throw your arms around your twin and squish your cheek into her still crazy bed head. “No way little miss! You are being Jane today whether you like it or not! I do not even care if you think your dysphoria is less than mine, it is still bad and I do not want my sister to have to experience it!” Jane is kind of laughing softly as you rub your head against her hair, and she tries to wiggle out of your grip in vain.
“But what about your date?” She asks uncertainly, though she’s smiling at getting to be Jane already. What a butt!
“I can figure something out. Maybe call them and reschedule? I don’t know, but it will be okay!” You give her the biggest grin you can, not too worried about the date. They’re understanding, so you are sure that they will be fine with it. Maybe you can even go as John!
Your dad clears his throat, and you both jump a little. Wow, it is much too early for you to be baring your souls like this. You forgot he was there! “Well, if I may suggest, why don’t you both be Jane, just for today? You don’t have school, so I doubt anyone would even notice, besides us three.”
You share a glance with Jane. You... hadn’t really thought of that, actually. Your dad had actually come up with a useful suggestion about your gender problems for once! You are going to have to tell Dave all about it so he can make one of his terrible raps to commemorate the occasion.
“I don’t see why that wouldn’t work, actually,” Jane says hesitantly, looking between you and your father. You thinks it’s a brilliant plan, and you say as much.
“Well then, it is settled. Now why don’t I make my two favorite ladies some cake for breakfast?” Your dad says in his most chipper voice. Jane starts to smile a little bit too wide, and you feel a jolt of panic.
“Pancakes, right dad? Pancakes?” You ask in a hurried voice. When your dad doesn’t respond and instead just smiles at you, your worry increases tenfold. “...Dad...?”
He chuckles, and ruffles both of your hair. You are surprised it can get even more messy than it already was, but dads are magic, you guess! “Come on down, Janes One and Two. You can have whatever you’d like to eat.” With that, he turns and heads down the stairs, leaving the two of you to follow.
You might get into a little bit of an argument about who is Jane One- you, obviously, as you are seven minutes older and anyways far superior to your sister in every way- but it’s nothing the two of you can’t easily solve with a batter fight that leaves the kitchen a mess and your dad regretting letting the two of you help make breakfast. Just a typical day in the Egbert-Crocker family household.