Chapter Text
Sometimes, Doyoung felt tiny. It was silly because after all, he was nowhere near one of the shorter ones in the group. But sometimes, Doyoung lay awake at night with Mark sleeping soundly in the bed next to him and couldn’t help but list every single thing about himself that he wished he could change. It was a long, still-in-progress list.
Doyoung was not a mean person by nature. If anything, he was always going out of his way to take care of the other members, those both older and younger. He was always there to listen to Taeyong vent his frustrations and insecurities about being a good leader to so many people. He was always there to support Mark when he would lock himself in a practice room and only be found collapsed 3 days later. He genuinely loved and cared for every single member whether they were in 127 or Dream or even the Chinese trainees getting ready for debut who he’d only met a couple times.
But of course he had his favourites and anyone could spot his from a mile away in the form of Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin. It hadn’t always been both boys with Doyoung having always had a soft spot for Jeno since he had first taken the 2000-line minus Renjun to the Han River but you never spent too much time with Lee Jeno without getting to know Na Jaemin. The two boys were each other’s closest confidants and did everything together since the moment they had first met on the 4th floor of the SM building. Lee Jeno with his radiant eye smile and puppy dog-like nature paired perfectly with Na Jaemin with his sparkling doe eyes and flirty personality.
Doyoung could see that they were practically made for each other, heck you would have to be blind not to see it but it didn’t stop the deep pit of longing the older boy felt whenever he saw them together.
In the depths of his mind, Doyoung knew that that this was not a good decision. That nothing was ever going to come out of this pathetic pining. That prolonging it would only end up with him hurting even more.
He knew all this but he simply decided to keep on falling.
To pretend that Jeno’s tendency for climbing onto his lap whenever they were sitting together meant something more than just his natural clingy nature. To pretend that Jaemin’s casual compliments and constant (failed) attempts at cheek kisses meant something more than his innate need to show love to every single person around him. He pretended and pretended and pretended because he was so scared of the alternative of someone finding out and shaming him for it.
The members were all extremely open people with most of them even being in relationships with each other but in the eyes of all of them, Jeno and Jaemin were simply meant to be and nothing would be allowed to come between them. So Doyoung did feel tiny at times, but only when no one could see him because it was his job to support the members, not burden them further with his stupid emotions.
It was a rare day where every subunit had the week off. Empathy promotions had finally all come to an end and although the Dreamies would soon have to start preparing for their next comeback, their managers had agreed that everyone deserved some time off together. Coinciding rest days also meant that the doors of every single dorm were open to people to just drop in unannounced. Right now, Jeno and Jaemin had just come over for a Harry Potter marathon with their fellow 2000 line, Donghyuck with Renjun having opted to spend some quality time with Lucas in his own dorm as they had been mostly apart with Lucas getting ready for his China debut.
It was around 7pm when Doyoung finally dragged his feet back home after having attempted to spend the day without having to see the two younger boys who had wormed their way into his heart without him knowing. The two boys were currently curled up on the couch together with Mark and Donghyuck occupying the loveseat in a similar position.
He had really tried to sneak into his room without them noticing but of course Donghyuck being the mischievous little shit he was decided to yell, “Welcome back Hyung!” grabbing the attention of everyone else in the room. Mentally cursing the boy who was now sporting a shit-eating grin (he swore that Donghyuck had long since caught on to his stupid feelings), Doyoung fixed a small tired smile on his face as he greeted everyone.
“Hyung, come watch with us, we just started Goblet of Fire,” Jaemin whines cutely as he props his head up on Jeno’s chest to fix the older boy with a small pout.
“Yeah Hyung, we just ordered some chicken as well,” Jeno adds as he also shifts his eyes from the screen with a matching pout as he pats the small space still available on the couch, indicating for Doyoung to sit.
Heaving a small internal sigh, Doyoung simply replies a short, “Okay,” before quickly heading to his room to change into some comfortable clothes and mentally prepare himself for the undoubtedly clingy behaviour of his two favourite boys. He reluctantly decides that he’s spent too long hiding and slowly makes his way back out into the living room. Plopping down pathetically next to the two boys who were still curled up together, Doyoung attempts to focus on the movie in front of him.
“Hyung… Doyoung-Hyung,” Doyoung heard Jaemin whisper his name.
“Hm?” Doyoung hums absentmindedly as he keeps his eyes occupied on the screen as he knew that if he were to turn his head, he would lose himself to the beautiful specimen lying next to him.
“Hyunggg,” Jaemin whispers slightly louder as he tugs the hem of Doyoung’s sleeve to get him to turn around.
Muttering a quiet, ‘Help me God,’ Doyoung reluctantly turns away from a screen full of blue uniformed witches dancing to face Jaemin.
Satisfied at having finally gotten the elder’s attention, Jaemin allows himself a smug smile as he leans forward to whisper, “I think the chicken’s going to arrive soon, can you help me and Jeno set everything up?”
“You and Jeno could just do it yourself you know,” Doyoung grumbles out even as he slowly removes himself from the plush confines of the couch
“I know, but this is more fun,” Jaemin replies simply as he quickly leads the way into the kitchen while dragging a slightly disorientated Jeno behind him. Huffing to himself, Doyoung tries to ignore the knowing looks from both Donghyuck and Mark as he resignedly follows the two boys into kitchen.
So maybe it was more than just Donghyuck who knew and maybe Doyoung was less subtle than he thought.
Doyoung walks into the kitchen and freezes at the scene that is slowly unfolding in front of him. Jeno has his arms wrapped around Jaemin’s waist and head resting on the other boy, a small pout on his face, obviously still miffed from being dragged out of his comfortable position on the couch. Jaemin in turn has his head slightly rotated to coo at the cute antics of the slightly older boy as he busies himself with pouring some soda into a couple of cups.
Suddenly feeling a bit out of place, Doyoung can’t help but awkwardly cough into his hands as he quickly heads over to the fridge to grab a couple of side dishes he knew the kids would like. He’s just shutting the door of the fridge when he nearly drops the container of kimchi he’s holding as he feels two arms envelop his waist. He doesn’t even need to turn around to know that it’s Jeno, after all, the boy’s clung to him so many times that he’s practically memorised his flowery scent.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack Jeno,” Doyoung scolds lightly as he places the kimchi and several other side dishes he grabbed on the counter.
“Don’t be mean, you know you love me,” Jeno retorts back softly as the boy snuggles his face into the back of Doyoung’s hoodie.
‘If you only knew,’ Doyoung thinks to himself sadly.
Choosing not to reply outwardly, Doyoung allows the boy to continue clinging to him as he grabs a couple of bowls from the cupboard and begins to pile each one with the different side dishes. When he finally returns all the containers to the fridge, he’s greeted by a staring Jaemin who is sporting a soft smile. Doyoung suddenly realises that he has the arms of someone’s boyfriend wrapped around him and he gently pries the younger boy off of him, trying desperately to look natural about it before quickly grabbing two of the bowls and hightailing it back to the living room.
If Mark and Donghyuck notice the bright red flush on his cheeks, they wisely choose to ignore it.
Jeno and Jaemin soon also come back to the living room balancing the rest of the side dishes and everyone’s drinks between the two of them, both sporting amused smiles.
When the chicken finally arrives, Mark gets up to pay for it while Donghyuck and Jaemin quickly bring over the small table they keep for such informal meals in front of the TV. Doyoung finds himself left alone with Jeno who had since fully woken up and was now bouncing about excitedly waiting for the food. Unable to suppress the affectionate smile from taking over his face, Doyoung finds himself staring at the beautiful boy next to him with his stunning eye smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts.
“Doyoung-hyung…?” Jeno’s questioning voice startles him out of his reverie and he quickly looks away, face burning in embarrassment.
“I’m going to go see if Jaemin and Donghyuck need help carrying that table.” Doyoung quickly scrambles out of the room, unaware of the small knowing smile gracing the face of the boy he had his back to.
The five boys were soon crowded around the small table that had several boxes of chicken stacked on it. They had opted to pause the movie to eat and were joking around as they ate with Donghyuck currently attempting to shove an entire chicken wing, bone and all, into Jeno’s mouth.
“Hyuk, stop bothering Jeno.” Mark ettempts to pacify his rowdy boyfriend as he brings his free arm to wrap around the younger’s waist.
“Yeah Hyuck, stop bothering Jeno,” Jeno repeats back as he childishly sticks his tongue out at the other earning a pickle thrown in his direction by a now sulking boy and laughs from everyone around the table. Jaemin affectionately ruffles the boy’s black hair as he leans over to rest his head on Doyoung’s shoulder which stiffens at the sudden contact. Unperturbed, Jaemin only snuggles further into the older boy’s shoulder and after a few seconds, Doyoung forces himself to relax and tunes back into the incessant bickering going on with the younger boys.
By the time they all finished eating, Jaemin was now practically in Doyoung’s lap with the older boy’s arms wrapped around him and periodically stroking his waist. Jeno is leaning on Jaemin’s shoulder and has his arm twined around his neck as he plays with the strands of light brown hair at the back of Jaemin’s neck.
If Mark and Donghyuck notice the soft content smiles on each of their faces, they only exchange knowing smiles of their own and turn the other way.
Halfway through Half-Blood Prince, nearly everyone is asleep with the exception of Doyoung. After having migrated back to the couch, Doyoung now found himself sandwiched between the two boys who were currently using each of his legs as their own pillow. He soothingly carded his fingers through each of the boy’s hair as he admired the beautiful sleeping form of both Jaemin and Jeno.
“You should really tell them how you feel.” A quiet murmur startles him out of his thoughts and he quickly pulls both his hands away as if he’d been burnt. Looking up, he sees Mark staring at the three of them with a gentle smile on his face.
“…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Doyoung mumbles back as he avoids eye contact with the younger male earning a small scoff.
“None of are blind Hyung, we can all see how you look at them.” Doyoung curls into himself at those words. Of course everyone knew, when he was so pathetic about hiss stupid feelings. As if sensing his train of thought Mark continues on tenderly, “You might be surprised at their response.”
It was Doyoung’s turn to scoff as he gingerly went back to stroking both of the boy’s heads.
“Don’t try and get my hopes up Mark. My feelings are stupid and temporary, I’ll get over them soon enough.” From the corner of his eye, Doyoung can see Mark shoot him a sceptical look but the younger boy chooses not to say anything more and instead busies himself with carrying a now softly snoring Donghyuck to their bedroom.
Right before he leaves the living room, Mark turns around one last time.
“Just think about what I said Hyung. Jeno and Jaemin have never considered it to be just them, I think they’re just waiting for you to realise that.” And with that, Mark walked out leaving Doyoung to ponder over his words.
‘They wouldn’t want you, they’re perfect with each other,’ he repeats to himself almost reassuringly. Suddenly Doyoung felt tiny again and he could feel his head lower as he squeezed his eyes shut, desperately willing for these feelings to disappear.
It was only when he felt some light shifting on his legs that he was brought back to reality as Jaemin mumbled something in his sleep before rolling over to lie on his cheek.
Smiling lovingly at the two boys currently making his legs numb, Doyoung settles back into the couch to look up at the changing lights of the ceiling as the white paint reflects the changes of colour and scenery in the still playing movie. Doyoung lulls himself to sleep as he focuses on the soft breathing of Jaemin and gentle snoring of Jeno. In the back of his mind, he wishes that he could fall asleep to both boys every night.