Chapter Text
Kim Namjoon was your average male adult.
He lived on his own, hung out with friends, survived mostly on cup ramen, struggled with the bills— all that good stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Namjoon couldn’t really complain about his life. It was fine; somewhat unfulfilling and meaningless, but fine. Adequate. Satisfactory.
So, it was totally normal that he freaked out when he found a baby on his doorstep.
It had been a normal day, which had made the appearance of the child so much more shocking to the poor, unsuspecting Namjoon. He had simply been tidying up his closet when the buzzer rang, so, naturally, he opened the door.
“Yes?” he said, leaning out of his apartment and into the hall.
He was surprised to find that no one was there. He shrugged it off, assuming it was a prank, and prepared to go back inside. Then he noticed a basket, covered with a pastel pink cloth, on the floor in front of him.
Looking from left to right to see if the owner of the basket was still there, Namjoon cautiously picked it up.
“I shouldn’t look inside,” he told himself. “It could contain a bomb or something, for all I know.”
So, of course, he lifted the cover.
Kim Namjoon suddenly found himself face to face with a fast-asleep, tiny human. What were those called again?
Oh, yeah. A baby.
A baby, no more than a month old, lay asleep in the basket, a sticky note reading “Jungkook” next to him.
A thousand times more terrifying than any bomb.
“Er… h-hello there,” Namjoon gulped. “What are you doing in here--” he peeked at the note. “--Jungkook? Did mommy and daddy have to run some errands?”
The baby did not respond.
“Hell… who am I kidding…” Namjoon groaned. “In movies and books, parents who leave their kids never come back. Seems like you were abandoned, kiddo, and left to the care of the worse person possible. Sorry.”
He ruffled his hair. “You’re sleeping. There’s no way you can hear me. Not that you’d understand even if you were awake.” He stared down at the infant. “What am I gonna do with you?”
After a moment of thought, Namjoon walked back into his apartment with a sigh, carrying the baby basket. He plopped down in a chair and set the child on a nearby table.
“Okay, first thing’s first: no panicking.” he said.
He took a deep breath in, then out. He had to think calm, peaceful thoughts.
Calm and peaceful.
“FUCK I FORGOT THE EGG SALE!”