Archive of Our Own

Up to this point he had never dared to approach him, he had only stalked him seemingly twenty-four-seven – which was bad enough already – but now he was sitting on his sofa in Levi's apartment while Menchie hissed at him with great volume.

»Who the fuck are you and why are you sitting on my sofa in the middle of the night?«, were the first things Levi demanded to know, although questions like ›How the hell did you get in my apartment‹, ›Why the heck do you follow me‹ and ›Why do you have big-ass wings attached to your back‹ would have seemed more logical to ask.

Despite the complete darkness that usually inhabited any apartment at night with every light bulb forced to sleep, Levi was able to see everything; his furnishings, his furry kitty and some dust even - which angered him for the moment, but he quickly set the thought aside for later - due to the faint light that appeared to have the winged stranger function as its source.

For the first time Levi could see the stranger's face, who had looked up after being confronted with questions. His features showed his youth, yet it was clear that he was already an adult.

Relaxed jaw muscles, soft cheeks, average nose size and non-noteworthy eyebrows.

The turquoise eyes with their pure yet fierce expression tough, they were so breathtakingly beautiful, Levi felt like he only now realized what breathing actually meant.

Everything the stranger wore was white and neatly ironed, creating a contrast to the sun-kissed skin and his brown, messy locks.

The big, flawlessly white wings flapped once, twice while the strange man ignored the hissing cat and smiled brightly and heart-felt.

»I'm your guardian angel.«

Admittedly, even more questions than before were floating around in Levi's head, but the glowing feathers on the ground were enough to forget his doubts, which was why he only nodded before retreating into his bedroom.

Eren seemed to have valued Levi's nod as an invitation, as permission to stay in the apartment, because he was sitting on the kitchen counter the next morning and played with the cat that desperately tried to scratch his ankle. Menchie saw him, but her white paw flew right through the foot. She couldn’t touch him.

Levi watched the spectacle for a while until he walked up to the brunet man and stared directly into his eyes, daring and awake. »So, you're my guardian angel? How did I deserve getting to know you in person?«, he questioned before Eren could greet him and wish him a good morning.

The angel rubbed his neck and suddenly appeared shy. »You see... I kinda like you. And it's really solitary because you never go out in the evenings. That way I can't meet other guardian angels.«

»Hm.« There wasn't a better answer coming from Levi's throat, because yet again, more questions longed for answers in his head. »For how long have you been watching over me?«

»For 25 years. Since the day you were born, just as usual. I helped your mother birth you safely. I know everything about you, Levi. Everything.«

»And you still like me? You sure you aren't my personal ass-kisser?"

Humanity had little to no knowledge about guardian angels since almost nobody ever met them. Yet Levi didn't let his mimic show how impressed he was to actually witness one of these gorgeous creatures.

Nevertheless Eren was able to read him like a book, he knew him best after all.

During a pause in their conversation, Levi picked Menchie up and placed her on the counter, scratching her on her favourite spots. »Do you have a name, angelface?«

»I was called Eren.«

-x-

Time passes quickly when fortune and happiness are on your side.

Levi adapted swiftly to Eren's omnipresent existence, as he felt safe and somewhat home knowing that there was somebody who watched over him, somebody he could rely on.

It was as if a warm pair of arms- no, wings were constantly wrapped around him.

Unfortunately for both of them, he had to find out that it was impossible for him - or anybody for that matter - to touch his guardian angel.

Eren was able to touch things; he could sit on a bed and walk on the 17th floor, but neither did he throw a shadow nor were his clothes drenched after walking in the rain with Levi. The only time, he was permitted to interact with other things or living creatures, was when his protégé stumbled into danger, into situations that threatened his well-being.

»Stretch your hand out to me and hold it up, angelface«, Levi ordered when they enjoyed a quiet and peaceful day at the park, wandering around on the grass while Menchie explored Mother Nature.

»What is it that you're planning to do right now?«, Eren wondered. He had already grown used to the nickname the human had given him and a delight blush crept on his cheeks nevertheless. The tanned hand lifted itself up, turquoise eyes following Levi's every move with curiosity.

A fair hand left the raven-haired man's jacket's pocket and layed itself on the angel's hand, their palm and fingers almost touched until finally- Levi's hand went right through the other.

A cold shiver ran down his spine, although his hand tingled out of excitement.

»Your attempts are in vain, no matter what you try. You can't touch me.«

Following that, Levi asked, »Do you feel me then?«

Eren looked up to the sky, observing as clouds told white, fluffy tales. »I feel your warmth the same way you experience sun rays on your pale skin. You see it but you can't grasp it. It's there, you're aware of it.«

»Sounds like you've been human before.«

»It's been a long time since I've felt these things«, the angel admitted with a sad, heart wrenching smile. »But the day I finally encouraged myself to meet you personally, my existence is experienced more lightweight.«

Levi was able to relate to his emotions, a whole lot.

Yeah, the guardian angel sometimes really did test his patience and could get on his nerves from time to time, but in a good way somehow.

And he was an angel. Perfect.

Eren never appeared to take Levi's mood and insults personal and got along with him pretty well. He also differed from his past boyfriends. He was special.

Was it really Eren that made him feel weightless, or was it merely due to the flawless, strong wings?

-x-

A new dawn broke and Eren was sitting on the counter when Levi stepped out of the bathroom in fresh clothing, skin still moisturised from the shower. He then entered the kitchen with Menchie following his every step in hopes of snatching a treat for being a ›good kitty‹.

»Good morning, Levi!«, he was greeted, now an everyday-habit, and a cheerful smile appeared in his vision.

Rays of sunshine fell through the windows into the flat, framing Eren's head like a gloriole and making him look even more like an angel, even if he might not had been sent by a god.

He was beautiful beyond all description. Impeccable.

»Good morning, angelface«, Levi answered and picked up the cat food, filled Menchie's bowl with it. The cat immediately sprang onto the counter, started to eat and let herself be petted lovingly by her owner.

By now, Eren's mere presence washed away his worries and made his heart beat easier, maybe even a little bit faster.

»You are relaxed«, the angel remarked and made a pause. »Did you sleep well last night?«

The curious undertone of his voice gave away that he had done something while his protégé had been asleep; dreaming about two people jumping into a forceful streaming, turning to fish and seemingly escaping a beast with a hundred heads of a snake growing from his shoulders, a beast so big that his head brushed the stars.

»Yes«, Levi answered in affirmative and stared at Eren, before he opened the cupboard and took out a bowl for his cereal. »Why do you ask?«

Since Eren always shined a little bit, his cheeks were glowing red. »I laid down next to you in bed to watch over your dreams. But you couldn't stay still, you rolled all over the mattress and suddenly you faced me, maybe two inches away.«

»Go on.«

»Well...« The angel rubbed his neck in a shy manner and awkwardly smiled to himself while Levi prepared breakfast, filling his bowl with HoneyLoopsies. »I embraced you, or at least tried, you know, because I can't touch you- anyway, it was as if you snuggled into me and then you were in me, it sounds weird, I'm sorry, I mean that you were lying in me and you seemed more relaxed and everything tingled-«

His voice had gone inaudible, so Levi stared at him with great intensity. »Eren. Calm down. It's okay.« He was about to pour milk into the bowls, but he stopped and held the bottle to his nose, sniffing.

When he didn't notice the sour smell, he nodded and was about to add the milk.

›Maybe I should smell again. Maybe it is sour.‹

Since guardian angels usually didn't show themselves to their protégé, they had to somehow protect them without actually talking to them with words. So they sent their warnings in form of thoughts, worries or doubts.

Eren's attempt ended successfully when Levi let the milk's sour odor tickle his nose's nerves unpleasantly, before dumping the white fluid down the sink's drain. »I guess I get to eat some dry cereals today.«

The angel sighed in relief.

»You're not a fan of mik?«

»Only a fan of non-rancid milk.«

Levi couldn't forget about the fact that he had lied in Eren but he didn't ask further about it. That would be too intimate.

It were the small things the angel did for him. Admittedly, he didn't know it was Eren's doing, but those little things still let Levi like him more than he wanted to. After all, he was his guardian angel. He couldn't even touch him, so why had he grown so fond of him?

His heart usually skipped a beat or to because of the creature who existed by his side for him only.

But luckily Eren didn't detect that as a heart disease.

»There is one thing I still don't yet understand.« Levi hopped onto the counter next to Eren and started to eat his breakfast.

»Yes?«

»If you guardian angels exist personally for one individual, why is there still so much misfortune on Earth?«

The angel gulped loudly before answering. His question hit a sensitive spot. »Sometimes we aren't strong enough. And many don't take their calling or rather their duty seriously.«

»So guardian angels aren't created to serve humanity's well-being. Let me guess, you have been human before? Humans are flawed.«

Although Eren technically didn't need to breathe for survival, he filled his lungs with air, before explaining more. »We all had been alive once. But we weren't good people. We were given a second chance. The ones who prove themselves genuine, who deeply regret their past actions and instead only make decisions for the greater good, they will be redeemed. It's similar to the Christian Heaven, the Paradise, but it also shares elements with the Buddhistic Nirvana. Uh, it's hard to explain... Naughty angels' fate is unknown to us. They aren't released from their agony. Nobody ever returned. It's told they won't ever rest in peace. And some angels are gifted with a new life. If they fell in love with their protégé and they return their feelings, they can be given a human soul again to prevent a broken heart. But that almost never the case.« He searched for a reaction in Levi's feature. Confusion? Disgust? Anger? Compassion?

No. He received another question in return. »What is your misdeed?« Thirst for knowledge sparkled in Levi's eyes, reminding Eren of a kid that tries to understand how the world works. »Who makes these decisions?«

Silence. Only the metallic clatter of the spoon touching the half-empty cereal bowl's porcelain was to be perceived. »I murdered several men who tried to harm my family«, he admitted, his voice bleeding of bitterness. There was no reason to lie. »I regret killing them, but I don't regret protecting my family.«

The last sentence answered Levi's next question, so he kept quiet.

»And what do you mean by ›these decisions‹?«, Eren required to know.

»The decision, what shall be considered ›good‹ and ›bad‹. The decision, who deserves redemption. The decision-«

Levi's guardian angel spoke up, interrupting him with rough words, »A creature that's far mightier than everything you could ever imagine. It's almighty, not like any of the gods humanity believes in. It's something like coincidence and destiny. A creature that isn't a creature, because it is everything and nothing at the same time.«

Levi stayed quiet after that.

»You told me you wanted to meet up with a ›Hans Gee‹.«

»There really can be no talk of ›wanting‹. They are... special. An complete idiot. Consider yourself lucky. They can't see you.«

»› They ‹?«

Levi had already forgotten that Eren had lived before he was even born.

»I'll explain you later... Also, their name is ›Hanji‹.«

They left the flat and took the stairs.

The guardian angel detested elevators because he was usually too big to fully fit in with his wings, especially when it was crowded in there.

In the cold hallway Eren was Levi's only source of warmth, although he had no body temperature.

Outside the building the wings started flapping, lifting the angel up in the sky and letting him fly some feet above Levi's head.

At one point, he flew higher to spot danger earlier and let his protégé out of his sight for a few seconds.

Despite extreme measurements of caution, disasters can always happen.

The raven-haired man decided to cross the street on a zebra crossing and that was when Eren's heart skipped a bit. A bus driver miscalculated his speed, turned left and was rushing in Levi's direction.

His wings stilled, allowing Eren to fall down, and caught him again when he was about 20 inches above the ground.

He sped forward, slammed himself against Levi and tore him from the street onto the pavement, when an immense pain exploded in his hips.

After that he felt the street's asphalt hitting him and, luckily for him, the bus didn't drove over him, he was already untouchable again.

Yet the pain didn't go away.

His whole body hurt, everything was throbbing. His wings wrapped around him in as if to prevent even more damage.

Beaming feathers were spread all over the place, a soft breeze tickled them.

People passed by, not caring about the raven-haired man who had clearly hurt his knee as it was bleeding, his neat trousers were ripped open there.

It was almost as if nobody had seen the angel pushing Levi off the road.

Eren crawled his way over to Levi on all fours, flinching and twitching due to the fire in his muscles. »Are you alright?«, he asked, his voice wasn't any more than a pain filled whimper.

»Fuck, Eren. What happened, why are you banged up?« Levi came up to him and tried to caress his with tears stained cheeks, which surprised both of them because of the suddenness. When he felt the fluid warmth wet his fingers his heart ached and bled.

»Doesn't matter, I'm only your guardian angel... You are injured. I'm sorry...«

»Don't be. How can I help you?«

Eren only scoffed. »You can't help me. You can't even touch me.«

The raindrops that fell from the sky tickled him as they wandered through his body.

Levi stared at Eren, drawing closer, and spoke, »Not even when I tell you, Eren, that...«

It wasn't more than a whisper, but the words' strength, their sincerity and the might they already inhabited even after the short amount of time were overwhelming.

Eren's eyes grew big, his cheeks turned hot red. The pain was forgotten.

And so was everything else, numb and non-existent as he faded away in strong arms.

Levi sat alone on the sidewalk and his guardian angel was gone.

He regretted his last three words a bit now, but not for long.

-x-

Last week's rain weakened his immune system and now Levi stood in the pharmacy, buying medicinal products to defeat his cold.

The tip of his nose was painted bright red, his face paled with sickness.

»Here, Sir.«

»Thanks. How much?«

»$11,97.«

He handed over the money and took the white paper bag and change in return, before taking a look, but everything was there. »Goodbye.«

»Bye. Get well soon. Next, please!«

Levi turned around and ran into the next customer. »Excuse me«, he mumbled, not caring to look up, but also not in the mood to ask the person why he had been standing so close to him.

»Oh no, please excuse me. It's kinda my fault.«

Levi finally lifted his gaze from the ground and was met with a beautiful pair of turquoise eyes.

»Hey, Levi«, the same voice ringed from between those soft lips who he was finally able to kiss.