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Peter’s latest bout of insomnia started on a Wednesday. That day Peter had gone to the tower instead of going home after school and decathlon. May and Tony had talked earlier in the week, and since she had to catch a plane first thing Thursday morning, and Wednesday was a day Peter usually spent in the lab anyway, they decided he should start his week-long ‘sleepover’ at the tower a night early.
Peter came in through the lobby in his street clothes after spending a couple hours out as Spider-Man (Tony was actually working outside of the lab for once, so Peter had gone out during their usual lab time) and went straight up to the main living level of the tower. He waved at the handful of Avengers who were sitting around playing cards in the main living room and went to his usual bedroom. He spent a few minutes unpacking his homework and unpacking his clothes, then sat down to finish the English essay he had been putting off and eat a couple of sandwiches from his favorite deli. When he was done with both he showered and threw on some sweats. With his teeth freshly brushed, Peter laid down in bed. He spent an hour playing games on his phone and texting his boyfriend until he felt tired enough to sleep.
He barely got in three hours of sleep before he jerked awake, sweating and shaking. He spent a few minutes trying to calm himself before getting out of bed. He put his head in his hands and tried to regulate his breathing while also trying to stop reliving uncle Ben’s death every time he closed his eyes. He managed to pull himself together enough to get up, strip off his sweaty clothes, and to make it to the shower before finally breaking down.
Standing under scalding hot water, he scrubbed his skin until it was red and felt raw. He had done the same thing the night the police had brought him home to Aunt May, covered in his uncle’s blood. Remembering that, remember holding his uncle until the police and ambulance arrived too late, made him cry harder and he didn’t stop until Karen’s gentle voice asking him if she should alert her boss to Peter’s distress. The question brought him back to the real world enough for him to pull himself together, plead with her to not tell Tony about this, and get dried off.
Peter put on clean pajama bottoms and stood by his open window, letting the cool air calm him, the breeze feeling more than a little nice on his burning skin. He knew the nightmare was triggered by the anniversary of Uncle Ben’s death, which had passed just two days ago; he had been having bad dreams for over a week because of it, but nothing that graphic. He also knew he would spend the next week or so dealing with the nightmares and flashbacks, especially with May not being around; she was heading off on a much-needed vacation with some girls from work who wanted to help her get through the depression this time of year brought.
From experience, Peter knew the easiest way for him to fall asleep after a nightmare and flashback this bad was to web himself a nest on the ceiling in the corner on the room. Usually he would make a little nest at home to nap while May was at work; he’d spend a few hours wrapped up in his silk in the dark, and when the webbing started to weaken his spider-sense would wake him. Lately, his instincts were telling him more and more often that he needed to find somewhere safe to sleep – safe apparently meaning up high in a place was easily defended and that smelled like home.
Sighing Peter plopped himself down at his desk and pulled out a notebook. He got started working on the new, permanent, web formula he had been designing; if he was going to give in to these urges he might as well do it right and make himself a nest that wouldn't dissolve.
~*~*~
Peter spent the whole night working, first on the formula, and then on the design for new web-shooters. By time it was 6 in the morning on Thursday, he had made good progress on both.
He got ready for school early and surprised May with a phone call just before she was meant to be leaving for the airport. It was nice to hear her voice after the night he had, but the call had nothing to help with the anxiety he was feeling. Talking to her had made him anxious about her flight and he couldn't sake the fear that she would leave him like his parents and Ben had.
He ate breakfast and then was on his way to school, where he spent the next few hours bored out of his mind. When he was finally done with his classes he sat in the back of Happy's car, practically vibrating with excitement over the date he had that night with his boyfriend. Peter hopped out of the car before it was fully stopped and rushed upstairs to put on some of his nicer clothes and fixed his hair. Half an hour later he was dodging Steve’s questions about where he was off too all dressed up as he made his way out and down to where Johnny was waiting in his car.
Peter greeted his boyfriend with a wide smile and a kiss before buckling in. They talked as Johnny drove them, catching up on the few weeks they had been apart while Johnny had been off superhero-ing with his family. He didn't talk as much as he usually did, but it was nice to forget about his night and just laugh with Johnny. It was a testament to just how tired Peter was that he didn’t protest when Johnny took him to a nice restaurant.
It was definitely out of his comfort zone (though not as bad as the places Tony tried to take him sometimes) but he didn’t want to argue about that tonight. Whether or not they are here or at one of Peter favorite little places he knew people would be talking about them on social media tomorrow. At least in a place like this people couldn’t come up to their table or take pictures. Dating a superhero as 'Peter' instead of as 'Spider-Man' meant that he had to deal with people talking about him and Johnny on Twitter every time they went out together, even if it was for something as boring as grabbing burgers or going to the library. It had taken a while, but after a few months – and more than a few talks with Tony and Pepper who had dealt with this for years – Peter felt he had a handle on dealing with it. As long as no one put two and two together and realized he was Spider-Man he was okay with people talking about how cute they were together.
They sat in the back, away from the windows, and the ordered their food. While they waited for it Peter held Johnny’s hand, enjoying the warmth he radiated and letting himself relax and forget his worries for a little while. Johnny drove him back to the tower after their date; as much as they both would have loved to stay out later or spend the night together, Peter had school the next day and Tony definitely wouldn't have let Johnny spend the night in Peters room (even if Aunt May told him she didn't mind). They spent a few minutes kissing goodbye before parting ways after making plans for a ‘sleepover’ the next weekend when May was back.
Peter went upstairs and changed into some comfy sweatpants and a sweater (which he definitely didn't steal from Tony). He called May after changing and after hearing that she was safe and happy he decided to put off sleep for a while and went to the living room. He spent a couple hours watching movies with his superhero family who kept making jokes at his expense instead of actually paying attention to whatever was on the screen. He let them tease him, laughing and throwing popcorn whenever someone made a terrible pun about him or Johnny. By the time he made his way to his room for bed, he was feeling pretty happy and relaxed.
He laid down for a bit, trying to enjoy the peaceful silence of his room, but found he couldn’t sleep. Before long he began to feel kind of jittery and his senses started giving him a bit of trouble. He knew it was the anxiety from earlier creeping back in now that he was alone and in bed. He knew the good mood couldn’t last forever, but he had hoped he would have at least gotten a few hours of rest before everything went to hell.
Not bothering to try sleeping when he felt like this, Peter made his way down to the huge gym that was just off the training room. It was quiet in there and, since he was alone, he could keep the lights off while he used the treadmill. Usually, he would have gone out in his suit when he was feeling like this, but ever since May had found out about Spider-Man he was no longer to go out past 11 on school nights. He worked through most of the machines the tower had to offer that had been modified to give an actual workout to someone with enhanced speed and strength like him. It was close to 3 when he finally felt a little more relaxed; he showered off when he was done and went back up to his room.
Peter flopped onto a comfy beanbag chair in the corner of his room and massaged his sore thighs. The pain wouldn't last long with his healing but he would enjoy it while it lasted. Sitting up Peter shot a web to grab his notebook off the desk and started working on his plans for his web-shooters. Checking the time he decided to shoot Shuri a message about his work, knowing it was mid-morning where she was. By time it was late - early - enough to get ready for school they had more or less worked out some of the finer details for the shooters and Peter promised to tell her how everything went once he made them.
~*~*~
Friday was a pretty boring day; he went to school where he sent Johnny and Shuri memes instead of writing notes, then hung out with Ned and MJ at the library after school. After parting ways with his friends he stopped to grab a sandwich then went out patrolling. When he stopped for his snack break he called May to check in, then went right back to fighting crime and saving kittens. He stayed out until it was close to one in the morning, enjoying the freedom that came with patrolling on a Friday night. When he got back to the tower he changed out of his suit and went to the kitchen to grab a big plate of food from the leftovers in the fridge; he hoped that the extra long patrol and the abundance of food would make him tired enough to get a dreamless sleep.
He decided to eat in the near-empty living room instead of his room since Bucky was the only one out and about at this time of night. Peter was happy to watch whatever Bucky wanted, simply enjoying being close to someone who wouldn’t make him talk if he didn’t want to. The rest of the team meant well, but sometimes he just wanted to sit with someone and not have to explain why he wasn't sleeping properly. He made quick work of the food in front of him and then curled up on the couch, feet pressed against Bucky's thigh. He let the calming presence of the man relax him and before he knew it he was drifting off. His managed to nap for just over an hour and a half before he found himself screaming himself awake, crying and feeling like something was compressing his chest making it hard to breathe.
Bucky, who had been trying to draw Peter out of the nightmare without touching him, reached out with his metal arm and gently touched the side of the kid's face when he realized the kid was awake but not present with him. He figured if Peter lashed out at being touched it would be worth it as long as the kid stopped crying like that. The cold metal seemed to shock Peter into stillness, and Bucky began talking again, repeating over and over that Peter was safe at the tower and that he needed to breathe.
For his part, Peter tried to focus on Bucky’s voice and let the cold metal bring him out of the flashback. It took a few minutes of work but eventually he calmed down enough that he could wipe away the tears and breath on his own. He was so grateful that it had been Bucky here with him when he woke up. It was hard to come down from the panic attacks that came after dreaming about being crushed by a building; not being able to breathe while having the attack felt too much like having the air pressed out of his lungs when the building had collapsed.
When he could finally breathe again he let the ex-assassin lead him to the kitchen. Bucky had him sit at the island and made them both hot chocolate, then sat one seat over from where the teen was, not wanting to crowd him.
It wasn’t until Peter's drink was almost completely empty he finally opened up. His voice was barely a whisper while he explained how he sometimes had a hard time dealing with what happened with the Vulture and almost dying. He told him about how hard it had been to get out from under the rubble, how he almost wasn't able to. He told him about crashing the plane just minutes later and how he thought he was going to die fighting his dates dad. Bucky let the boy tell the whole story before asking a few questions about how Peter had been dealing, and making himself a mental note to talk to Tony about the kid possibly having PTSD.
With their drinks done they moved back to the living room and Bucky let Peter put on a light-hearted Disney movie and cuddle up to him on the couch. Neither of them fell asleep this time but Peter felt much better by the time everyone else was waking up.
~*~*~
Saturdays, for Peter, were normally spent doing homework, helping out in the lab, and swinging around the city and fighting crime. Having done all his homework at the library the night before, Peter found himself sitting around, bored out of his mind, while Tony was in meeting after meeting for the fourth day in a row. Usually, when Tony worked like this, he would work in the lab by himself, but you light your workbench on fire one time while unsupervised...
So, instead of sitting around until one, when Tony was meant to be done with his final meeting, Peter suited up and decided to check on his city. It was a slow morning for the superhero and the lack of criminal activity in the area did nothing to help him stay awake and alert. By the time Karen told him Tony was done with his meetings and he crawled through his window, he was just about ready to pass out. He pulled off his suit and he slipped on some sweats and a Fantastic Four shirt, then slipped his notebook into his pocket as he walked out the door.
Dragging his feet Peter made his way to the kitchen to make himself a plate of leftovers. He was usually hungry after patrol and he figured the lab could wait until after he had something to eat. He sat at the island and without thinking used his tongue to trigger his venom glands behind his teeth to let some of the venom drip onto his food. He scrolled through Twitter and sent his boyfriend a few screenshots of people fighting over what Johnny and Peter's ship name while the venom softened his food. He wasn’t using enough to turn the contents of the plate to liquid, just enough to ensure he didn’t have to chew as much as usual, because he was definitely too tired to properly eat.
He while he ate he added the rest of his friends to the conversation about the ship name and watched them all argue about it. He was distracted enough by his phone that it wasn't until he was finished most of his plate that he looked up towards the living room, and noticed the looks he was getting from the few Avengers in there. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to realize why they were giving him uneasy looks. He had never told any of them that he could produce venom, let alone that he could control when it was used or use it to dissolve his food. The tired spider looked down at his mostly clear plate and then back at the heroes on the couch and shrugged to himself. He was definitely too tired at this point to care what they thought about this. Finishing the last couple bites he looked back at the group to see that none of them were paying attention to him anymore besides Bruce who just looked intrigued. Peter put his plate in the dishwasher before heading to the closest elevator.
He spent the ride down to Tony's lab leaning against the wall. He yawned as he got out of the elevator and didn’t even bother to properly greet Tony as he walked straight to his workbench. He had originally planned to work on his suit today with his mentor but he had decided on the way down that he really just wanted to make his new web formula and then use it to sleep for 24 hours straight. He pulled out his little notebook and quickly read over what he would need before heading to the cupboard where his chemicals for his webs where held. He started pulling out what he needed, before moving to a few more of the cupboards for various other chemicals, catching Tony’s attention in the process.
“Whatcha working on, kiddo?” Tony asked while watching warily as his - obviously sleep deprived - kid started pulling a few random looking bottles off the shelves.
“New webs,” Peter replied as he started measuring, pouring, and mixing what he needed. “I want to make a nest.” He told Tony, not bothering to elaborate.
Tony raised a brow at that as he looked over Peter's shoulder to read the scribbled work. He was always happily surprised when he got a chance to see how Peter's brain worked. He could easily understand the kid’s thought process in how he had worked out the exact formula he would need to alter his webbing to be stronger, permanent, slightly sticky, and able to be dissolved with a solvent. From what he could tell the digestive liquid the kid used to eat sometimes (of course Tony knew about that) would probably work, but they’d have to make something they could easily bottle just in case.
“What do you need a nest for?” Tony asked, hoping he sounded less freaked out by the idea than he actually was. He might love Peter like he was his own, but that didn’t erase 40+ years of mild arachnophobia.
“Sleeping,” Peter replied, setting his work to the side. It only needed a couple minutes to sit and then he would be able to fill a couple cartridges for his web shooters. He turned his chair around and Tony held back a wince at the dark smudges under the kid's eyes. Tony had been in and out of meetings and the lab all week working and hadn’t gotten to sit with Peter for longer than it took to eat a meal or two, so he hadn’t noticed how bad the kid looked. “I’m really tired dad... I keep having nightmares and f-flashbacks and it's making my instincts go crazy. They keep telling me I need a safer, higher, place to sleep. I know its weird and doesn't really make much sense but sometimes it helps with my anxiety and insomnia if I listen to my instincts.” He explained, face hot with embarrassment from having to explain to Tony about his weird, non-human, instincts. “I know its kind of... freaky when I act like a-a spider but it's so hard not to sometimes... I mean, I can usually control it – it’s just harder when I’m tired! I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable or anything though!”
The earnest, slightly panicked look on the kid's face had Tony’s heart breaking, as was hearing that Peter had been dealing with all of this silently and alone. “Kid, none of us would be uncomfortable if you decided to do all your weird spider-y things. You don’t need to hide a huge part of who you are to try and make us happy.” He had read a few articles not long ago about how a lot of young mutants and mutates had a hard time excepting their differences and felt ashamed of their mutations, but he hadn’t thought Peter felt that way. He probably should have realized that Peter wasn't completely okay with himself when he realized that the kid was hiding some of the more spider-y parts of his mutation from the team.
Peter turned back to his desk and started the tedious process of filling empty cartridges with the web fluid. “May hates the venom thing.” He stated, hoping he didn’t sound as hurt as he felt about that. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to expect her to be completely okay with everything he could do right away. “She freaked out a bit the first time I did it near her. I don’t blame her – its kind of gross and it's probably a bit scary to think your kid can literally liquefy you.”
Tony hated that the experience with May made Peter feel like he needed to hide some of the odder things he could do, but he couldn’t really blame her for freaking out. “It is a bit scary when you put it that way, but she seems pretty okay with it all now, and no one in this tower is going to freak out. I mean have you ever watched Clint eat after a mission? Seeing you drink your meal is probably a million times less horrifying than that.” He nudged his kid's arm, grinning. “If you wanna make a nest and sleep on the ceiling go ahead. No one here is going to judge you for being yourself. Hell, I'm pretty sure half the team wouldn't mind hanging out in your webs with you if you asked.”
Peter clipped the filled cartridges into his web shooters and stood to hug Tony. “Thanks.” He said softly into Tony’s shoulder, too tired to try and put what he was feeling into words. The only people who knew about his weirder habits and accepted them this easily were Johnny and Shuri, but both of them were used to dealing with people who weren't completely normal or human. Hearing that his super family wouldn't think he was gross or a freak took a huge weight off his shoulders. “Can I make a place to sleep in here?" He asked hesitantly, taking a step back. "I’ll take it down in the morning! I just want to be close to you cause you make me feel safe? And it’s so quiet and smells kind of like home in here...”
Tony looked down at Peter, who was giving him puppy dog eyes and sighed. “Fine, but if you snore I won’t hesitate to use a broom on you like a real spider.”
Peter smiled widely and hugged his dad again before setting off to pick a corner, after stealing the sweat Tony had left on the back of his chair.
Tony watched fondly as his kid stole his sweater from his work station and pulled it on, before climbing the glass wall barefooted. He had seen Peter use his webs to fight and contain things before, but he had never watched him use them like this. Watching Peter weave his web was like watching an actual spider make a web - minus the extra limbs and eyes that freaked him out. Tony asked Friday to turn off the lights around Peter once the teen was settled and went back to work on the latest iron man suit. He knew he would have to make Peter explain everything he knew about his powers to the team, and he probably needed to sit Peter down and talk about maybe getting him some help for his mental health, but for now he was happy just to see his kid sleep.
The teen had picked a corner near a vent - his instincts wanted him to pick somewhere with an easily accessible escape route - and spent a good ten minutes weaving a quick web that was dense enough to sleep on. Peter sent a goodnight text to his boyfriend - who replied with a dozen question marks, because it was only three pm, before wishing Peter sweet dreams - before turning his phone off and curling up in the center of the web, eyes drifting shut before his head even hit the pillow he had made.
Peter purred softly and drifted off in his safe corner, surrounded by the smells of his favorite lab and listening to the familiar sounds of his dad working on one of his suits.