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Steve had been working for weeks to talk to Tony, the man had been rather dramatic in his efforts to avoid him at one point locking himself in a closet and loudly yelling that no one was there, and at another point literally jumping out a window and having the iron man suit catch him, it was getting ridiculous, and Steve was going to talk to him.
“Tony!” He called, breaking into a run when he catches sight of the inventor at the end of the hallway.
“No.” Tony says, continuing to walk as if he hadn’t heard Steve.
“Tony wait!” He called again, Tony didn’t stop, didn’t hesitate, if anything he started walking faster, which Steve thinks is a little petty, but Tony can be petty at times. Steve can be a grown up, he has to be in this situation because Tony certainly won’t be.
“No.” Tony repeats as Steve falls into step beside him. His voice is completely flat, and he still hasn’t slowed down forcing Steve to keep pace with him if he wants to talk.
“Tony, I just want to talk to you.” Steve says, it’s a bit of a reprimand for Tony’s childish behavior as he frowns at the man. “Can’t we have a conversation?”
“No.” Is that all he knows how to say? Steve wants to scream at Tony to grow up, wants to hit something, but he manages to stay calm. He will be an adult about this.
“We need to talk Tony.” This is not a negotiation, Steve knows it is necessary that they talk now. Tony still hasn’t even looked at him and this behavior cannot continue.
“No.” He can almost here the silent ‘we don’t’ but Tony doesn’t even bother to say that, just refuses to even speak with him, it’s ridiculous.
“Look, I know the whole thing with the accords was,” Steve pauses for a moment trying to put this as gently as possible. “bad. Before that though, things were good before that.” Sure, Ultron had been unpleasant but they’d forgiven Tony, everything was okay, why couldn’t he do the same?
“No.” Tony says, and Steve can feel his face heating up with anger, but he swallows it down, he has to be the rational adult here, he can’t afford to lose his temper.
“Things were fine, and yes I should have told you about your parents then, and I’m sorry I didn’t Tony, I really am.” He says, allowing a bit of the desperation he is feeling into his voice. Tony just abruptly turns a corner, forcing Steve to catch up to him again. “Don’t you believe I’m sorry?”
“No.” Tony says, and Steve wonders for a moment if he asks another question, no matter what it is will Tony answer it with that same word.
“Tony do you hate me?” He asks, he knows that Tony hates him. Tony’s been avoiding him constantly.
“No.” Tony says, and he grins triumphantly.
“Tony, you have not forgiven me yet, right?” He says, hoping that Tony will break, but the question is only greeted with silence, he huffs in frustration. “I know things have been bad Tony, but you have to understand, I never wanted to hurt you.” Tony has the audacity to scoff at that, but at least he didn’t say ‘no’ again. “Don’t you think it’s time to forgive us?” Tony turns finally and looks him dead in the eye.
“No, I don’t.” He says, and Steve feels desperate, and angry, and frustrated, and tired all at once as those steely brown eyes stare straight into his soul with an expression of scorn and disgust.
“Don’t you understand? I was just protecting Bucky.” He insists, Bucky is his best friend Tony has to understand.
“I do understand Steve. I understand perfectly.” Tony says, and despite his icy tone Steve feels hope swelling in his chest.
“So, then you forgive us? The team? Everything can go back to the way it was?” He asks, and Tony laughs in his face, tone ice cold. Steve feels a shiver run down his spine at the way Tony smiles at him.
“Steve, I want to make this very clear for you, I do not forgive you.” Tony starts, and Steve nearly stamps his foot in frustration. “And I will not forgive you, and furthermore I have no desire for things to go back to how they were.”
“But you said you understood.” Steve doesn’t mean for that to sound as pouty as it does, and he hates the way Tony’s shark-like grin broadens. He hates the cold laugh that Tony let’s out even more.
“Steve, I do understand. I understand perfectly. I understand that you have never cared about hurting me, if there had been an easier way to get what you want you might have told me about what Barnes did to my parents, but because my resources were convenient you didn’t think I needed to know.” Tony says, and that isn’t true, he had needed Tony’s resources to track down Barnes, he hadn’t had a choice. “I understand that you’re probably convincing yourself you had no other choice right now, but I also understand that you had literal years to tell me and instead you used my money, and my tech to track down the weapon that killed my parents without ever telling me.”
“You would have hurt him! You did attack him!” Steve says, he knows he didn’t have a choice. He had to find Bucky and he had to protect him. Tony scoffs at that.
“I understand that you lied to me for years, and I understand that you had the audacity to berate me for hiding things from you.” He hadn’t had a choice, Tony attacking Bucky had proved that. Except he hadn’t attacked Bucky since then. “I understand that you found a lot of things to berate me about.” Now Tony was just exaggerating, they weren’t that bad. Everyone had been happy then, or at least Steve had been happy.
“I understand that you welcomed a literal Hydra agent onto the team despite her repeatedly expressing desire to harm me.” Tony continued. Was he just forgetting about how he killed her parents, or did he just hate her? Wanda was just a kid. Steve knows she didn’t mean any of that stuff. She just got angry sometimes, and she lashed out at him. The argument felt weak even in Steve’s head.
“I understand that now, with the public hating you, and the thin ice you’re on with the Accords, you are upset. I understand that you are still somehow trying to blame me for that.” But it was Tony’s fault, he was the one working with the Accords. He had worked with the Accords from the beginning, and it was working fine wasn’t it? Steve didn’t like the questions he was asking himself, the doubt niggling at him. “And I understand that if Bucky stubbed his toe, and you could make him feel better by lighting me on fire, you would.” Tony finishes off.
“I would not.” Steve protests, he would never hurt Tony. The image of Tony underneath him, the fear in his eyes as Steve swings the shield down towards his neck rises unbidden in his mind.
“You would.” Tony states, and it’s not an accusation, just a fact to him. “I understand that, I understand a lot of things. You know what they say, hindsight is twenty twenty.” He shakes his head sadly, and Steve thinks maybe there’s some regret there. “I understand you Steve, but forgive you?” He laughs coldly. “I will never forgive you. It’s not in the cards, not even a sliver of a possibility, I’m afraid you’ve burned this bridge Steve, salted the earth with it, we cannot fix our friendship, because we don’t have one.” He opens a door then and it slams in his face before he can follow Tony through. He doesn’t try though standing there staring at where Tony had stood.