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“She’s coming around,” Charming said.
Regina blinked slowly, trying to wake up. Her head was pounding like she had a hangover, and she could smell a faint floral odor with cloyingly sweet undertones. Her lips were a little numb, and after licking them she noticed a grainy texture which told her what had happened. Sleep by magically infused poppy to the face.
That wasn’t the only thing she could taste, however. In addition to the symptoms of knockout by poppy she could taste a faint nutty flavor, and her tongue was a little oily. Just to make sure, she scraped her tongue roughly along the back of her teeth several times and tasted pine needles, confirming her suspicions. Whoever had knocked her out had then administered a truth potion, and from the freshness of the pine taste, most likely an Omne Verum derivative. From the amount of oiliness on her tongue she had been given a dose about five minutes before, which would mean she would normally have sixty-three more minutes of truth telling.
Of course, Charming was involved, and inevitably Snow as well. Which meant that they gotten the potion from either the fairies or Rumpelstiltskin. Her hands were tied, but she managed to press her fingernail into the pad of her finger for a few seconds, and the delay in pain response gave her an answer to that question. It was definitely the darker form of the potion, which meant that Rumpelstiltskin had provided it. Most people weren’t aware, but poppy counteracted the extract of forlorn hope that was part of the dark version of the potion Rumpelstiltskin favored. The side effect of that interaction meant that the potion was only effective for seventeen minutes rather than sixty-eight. If she played her cards right she could avoid answering any real questions. Especially since her captors were idiots.
Regina moaned, slumping again, wrinkling her brow like she was suffering from a serious headache. Not that that was too far off. The other side effects of the extract of forlorn hope interacting with poppies were sensitivity to loud noises and bright lights, which meant that she was sure to have a serious headache soon, and a greatly increased optimism for three hours. Regina could only hope that her magically increased optimism wasn’t responsible for her belief that she could beat the potion.
“Is she alright?” Snow asked, her voice concerned. No matter how much they hated each other, Snow could be relied upon to show weakness.
“She’ll be fine,” Charming said. “We should start asking questions.”
“Regina,” Snow said. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes?” Regina said. She had to be literally truthful with her statements, but she could play with inflections. By answering in an interrogative manner they might waste time thinking she couldn’t understand them. Well, only if they were idiots, Regina conceded to herself.
“Regina,” Snow repeated louder, and Regina didn’t even have to pretend to flinch from the pain of that. “Can you understand me?”
“I think the people next door could understand you,” Regina said softly, face scrunched up from pain. She was glad that she hadn’t underestimated how stupid the idiots were. It was why they had that nickname, after all.
“Do you know why you’re here?” Snow asked.
“Because you abducted me?” Regina offered. Also literally true, and with some truthful expansion she could make things sound even worse. “That’s a rather serious felony in this world, you know.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Charming said. “We’re the court here. You’ve been brought here to face charges of murder, theft, assault, and aiding Cora in her attempts to become the Dark One.”
“And is any defense allowed in this kangaroo court you’ve devised?” Regina asked. “Or are you going to allow your illegal titles to go to your heads even further?”
“You’re allowed to explain yourself, and we may even grant some small leniency,” Snow said. “That’s why you’re under the effects of truth serum. You have no choice but to tell us everything.”
Regina almost snorted, and part of her wanted to explain exactly how stupid they were trusting a dark truth potion against the most talented dark witch in centuries. Rumpelstiltskin was more powerful and knowledgable, but she had a much greater flair for alchemy and potions than he ever could. Not to mention her talent came from within, rather than a magical object he probably stole.
“Who have you killed since the curse broke?” Charming demanded, starting the interrogation.
“No one,” Regina said. “Have you forgotten that the cricket wasn’t taken by me? Or are we going to ignore the other occasions that you’ve accused me of crimes I didn’t commit?”
Regina took the time that they blustered and made excuses for their idiocy to test the area magically. Unfortunately what she had been expecting proved true. The chair she was tied to had been enchanted by fairy magic to suppress her powers. She had no access to magic until she could get up.
“Regina,” Snow said, and she finally paid attention again. Only seven minutes to go. “What other crimes have you committed since the curse broke?”
“Jay walking,” Regina said immediately. She thought seriously about it for a moment. Frankly, the curse didn’t break very long ago, and she’d been trying to be good. “I damaged town hall a bit, so some vandalism I suppose.”
“You ripped out Johanna’s heart!” Snow shouted.
“Technically, I removed the metaphysical representation of her heart,” Regina said. “It doesn’t have any mundane form or substance, and isn’t the literal, biological heart. Removing a concept given form from a person isn’t against the law in the state of Maine.”
“You tortured her with it!” Snow shouted.
“Barely,” Regina sniffed. “And inflicting pain via magic isn’t against the law in the state of Maine.”
“Look, she obviously isn’t going to make this easy,” Charming said. “We should just ask the one we know, and that’s enough to have her banished when we leave.”
“Banished?” Regina asked.
“Yes,” Snow said, raising her chin defiantly. Regina was sure that Snow meant to look firm, but all that she could see was the spoiled brat that she had always been trying to get her way. “When we return to the Enchanted Forest we will be stranding you here, in the town you created."
“No!” Regina shouted straining against her bindings for the first time. “So you’ve already sentenced me before any trial? How noble of you, princess.”
“I’m a queen,” Snow said. “And this trial will determine if we should execute you instead. We wouldn’t want you to somehow find a way to the Enchanted Forest again. Now, did you aid Cora in her attempts to gain the Dark One’s dagger?”
“No,” Regina said. She still had five minutes to go. Hopefully she wouldn’t be forced into a verbal corner.
“Are you sure the potion is working?” Charming asked. “We should ask her something that she wouldn’t want to answer but that we know is true.”
“Regina, did you kill my father?” Snow asked.
“No,” Regina said.
“Who did?” Snow asked.
“The genie,” Regina answered.
“Why?” Snow asked.
“I convinced him that I was interested in being with him romantically,” Regina said, annoyed at what she was forced to admit. “My father gave him the viper, and he chose to use it to free me from the king.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Charming said. “That still keeps her from being directly to blame. She could still be lying.”
“You’re an idiot,” Regina said smirking. “See? The truth serum must be working.”
“What happened to my favorite doll when I was a little girl?” Snow asked.
“I used it for target practice when I was learning to create fireballs,” Regina said. That had been a good fire.
Snow sniffled, wiping her eyes, and Charming hugged her and glared at Regina. “We need to figure out something she really wouldn’t want to admit.”
“I know,” Snow said, eyes lighting up with malice. “What secret do you most want to keep from us?”
Regina bit her lips, struggling like mad to keep from speaking. Unfortunately, while she could play with inflections, use double speak to mislead, and generally mess around with foolish interrogators, the biggest advantage of Rumpelstiltskin’s version of the potion, the reason why it was popular, is that you not only had to tell the truth, but you had to answer questions directed at you. “I’m dating your daughter.”
“That’s impossible!” Charming shouted. “The potion must not be working.”
“Oh, you would like that wouldn’t you?” Regina snarled. “You can’t handle the fact that your daughter has been sleeping with your enemy. If it makes you feel better she’s very good in bed.”
Regina smiled nastily. That had been the secret she really didn’t want to reveal, but now that it had been forced out of her she decided to go all out with it. It would keep them from asking anything else she might not want to answer.
For a moment Charming looked like he was going to hit her. “You seduced Emma to get back at me?” Snow gasped, horrified.
“No,” Regina sneered. “You probably haven’t realized this princess, but not everything revolves around you.”
The door slammed open, and suddenly Emma was standing there, glowering at everyone. “What the hell is going on here?”
Snow and Charming were still completely off balance from Regina’s revelations. The rest of the council, who had been sitting on the far side of the room to judge her, were fairing little better. Everyone just froze for a moment, and Regina felt the potion compel her to answer. “They abducted me, tied me to a chair that bound my magic, fed me a truth potion and told me they were going to leave me here when they take everyone to the land of no indoor plumbing.”
“What!?”
“Oh, and they forced me to reveal we’re dating,” Regina added.
“What!?!”
“Is it true?” Snow asked, her chin trembling. “Are you dating Regina?”
“Yes,” Emma said, standing taller. “I am.”
“But she's working with Cora!” Charming shouted.
“No,” Emma said. “She was working with me. She was trying to set up her mother so that we could capture her. And now you’ve probably blown her cover, so there goes that plan.”
“W-what?” Snow mumbled. “You’re dating Regina?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Everyone, out. No more questioning my girlfriend. Anyone still here in ten seconds is under arrest for assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment, and any other charges I can think to throw at you. In case you all forgot, I’m the sheriff around here.”
“Emma,” Snow said. “Please, you can’t think of dating-”
“That includes you,” Emma snapped, hand dropping to her gun. “You really don’t want to push me right now.”
Snow ran from the room in tears, and Charming chased after her. The rest of the council left quickly, not wanting to face Emma when she looked that angry. Once the room was cleared Emma turned and kicked a chair, breaking it to pieces.
“Be careful, dear,” Regina said. “Don’t hurt your foot over those idiots.”
“Are you alright?” Emma asked, coming over to untie her.
“Fine,” Regina said. “I’m going to need to lay down though. They gave me two magical substances, and the interaction is going to give me migraine shortly.”
Once the ropes were undone, Emma pulled Regina into her arms and held her tightly. “When you didn’t show up I got worried.”
“I would’ve come if I could,” Regina said, holding her just as tightly. “They wanted to take you and Henry from me.”
“Never,” Emma said firmly.
“I love you,” Regina said, then blinked. The potion still had almost a minute until it wore off.
Emma looked even more surprised. “You- you do?”
“Yes,” Regina said, a slow smile appearing on her face. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Emma said.