Chapter Text
Doyoung settles into his large chair and pulls the set of headphones onto his head. He skims through the papers on his desk and adjusts the microphone in front of him.
In his headphones, he hears a voice, “All set?” He looks up, to where Johnny, his producer, is standing behind the glass window of the studio and gives him a thumbs up to let him know that he’s ready.
He hears the ring of a familiar jingle and counts down in his head. On the count of 10, the “On Air” signal on the studio wall lights up red and Doyoung begins like he always does. “Good evening everyone, it’s 11pm and you’re listening to Doyoung’s Evening Chat on SM Radio. Thank you so much for tuning in, I hope you’ll enjoy what we have prepared for you tonight.”
Doyoung’s voice is calm and soothing. His voice is his livelihood and, through it, he connects with the people that listen to him, to bring them comfort and motivation at the end of the day. He’s been doing this job for almost three years now and has gained enough recognition and popularity that his show is now on air 5 days a week. Through the show, Doyoung gives advice, shares music, book recommendations, and, from time to time, hosts guests, usually musicians, authors, or actors.
“I’m sure you’ve all noticed that the trees are now bare and that the temperatures are rapidly falling as winter settles in comfortably in Seoul. I hope that no matter where you are, you are taking the necessary precautions to stay warm and safe. This is a time that you should be spending with family and loved ones. These are the people that will bring the most warmth to your life during these cold months.
“I know that some of my listeners are struggling with their relationships, whether they be romantic or otherwise. After this song, I will be reading one listener’s message and, as always, sharing any advice that I can give them. If you have a concern that you would like me to help you with, remember to send it to our email address and it may get picked for tomorrow night. And for now, enjoy this song and the winter breeze it brings along with it.”
As the song starts, Doyoung mutes the microphone and, humming along with the lyrics, picks up the paper in front of him. Preparing for the next segment, he reads the letter that was chosen for today. He’s gotten into the habit of imagining what the person who wrote the message might look like, drawing up a pictures in his mind. Today, he sees a young man, a recent university graduate, working as a freelance artist. He’s got bright eyes and a kind smile, the kind of person is soft-hearted and easy to love. Doyoung smiles to himself and, not for the first time, wishes he could actually see the person who sent the message in, to see whether or not his guess is close to the reality.
Turning the mic back as the last notes of the song are heard, he takes over casually, “Our message tonight is from a listener with the username zeus98. Here is what they wrote: ‘Dear Doyoung,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 6 years now. We love each other a lot and moved in together 3 years ago. He’s always been really joyful and loves showing his affection every minute of every day. He sends me messages full of emojis every hour while he’s at work and when I get home, I don’t even have time to take my shoes off before being tackled into a hug. These past couple of weeks, though, everything’s changed. He’s staying a lot later at work and when he does come home, he’s always tired and apathetic. I’m not used to being the one to have to seek out affection, when he’s usually the one doing so. Is there any way for me to know what has caused this distance? Is it a sign that our relationship will not last? I hope you can help me with this so that I can reconnect with him.’”
“First of all, I’d like to thank zeus98 for sending in this message. I can understand why you feel hurt and uncertain in this situation. I feel like I need to start my answer to this question by explaining that it’s completely normal for changes to occur in long term relationships. As people change, so will their wishes, desires, and motivations. Now, I’m not saying that this means that your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same way about you as he did before. If your relationship has lasted this long, it means that there is a strong foundation, but as we know, no relationship is unshakeable.
“If I can give you any piece of advice, it would be to trust your partner. This is so important to relationships. You can’t assume anything and you shouldn’t be afraid of opening up to them about what you’ve written in your message. If you are feeling this distance, then I feel like it is best to address it as a couple. Only then can you discover what the root of the problem is. Maybe they don’t realise themselves that they’ve become distant and you being honest about your feelings would go a long way in mending this relationship.
“Finally, I want to leave you with the words that I give to almost everyone, and that is ‘be patient’. Humans are complicated creatures and we make mistakes, but nothing that can’t be fixed with time. I wish you the best of luck and sincerely hope that your relationship works out. It seems like he is a very lucky person to have someone who cares about him like you do.”
***
Jungwoo is curled up on the couch as he listens to the radio. There’s only one small lamp dimly lighting the room and he feels glad that he has Doyoung’s words to fill up his empty apartment. When Doyoung finishes responding to his message, he turns off the radio and sits in silence for a while, mulling over Doyoung’s words. Overall, he feels comforted by the radio host’s words. It could all be the normal progression in their relationship, he thinks. But in truth, it’s only made Jungwoo’s fears grow. He knows has to confront Yukhei about the distance that’s growing between them, but he’s terrified at the thought of possibly losing him. They’ve been together for so long that Jungwoo can barely remember when Yukhei wasn’t by his side.
As he hears the front door beep as it unlocks, his chest tightens. Glancing at the clock, he can see that it’s 11:37 PM.
“Yukhei?” He calls out.
There’s no immediate reply, but then his boyfriend comes into the living room. “Hi baby,” his voice is low and worn out, it reminds Jungwoo of home.
Jungwoo’s up on his feet and gently reaches for Yukhei, to wrap his arms around him and pull him into a hug. Resting his head against the taller’s chest, he can feel the warmth emanating from him. Yukhei presses a kiss to the top of his head and holds him closer.
“How was work?” Jungwoo mumbles into his shirt, not having any intention of letting go anytime soon.
“Tiring,” is Yukhei’s reply. “I missed you.”
At that, Jungwoo looks up, so he can get a better look at Yukhei’s face, noticing the dark circles and the way the corners of his mouth are drooping sadly. “Did something happen honey? Do you need talk about it?”
Yukhei’s shaking his head and pulls away from Jungwoo so that he can fall onto the couch, his body not able to contain the exhaustion. “Sorry, Woo, I’m tired. I’ll probably go to bed soon.”
Jungwoo feels a dull pain in his heart. He can’t hide the fact that he’s hurt that Yukhei is pushing him away when they should be able to talk about anything with each other. He thinks about Doyoung’s words and knows that he has to confront Yukhei about it. He sits besides the other on the couch and presses a light kiss to his cheek, which barely summons a reaction. “Are you sure, Xuxi? You know that you can talk to me-”
“I said I’m tired,” Yukhei cuts him off harshly and Jungwoo’s left with his mouth half open and the tingling sensation in his heart just getting stronger.
He knows he has to be patient, he knows that Yukhei’s tired and that he probably didn’t mean to be so harsh, and yet, he can’t help himself. He can’t live another day like this if it means he’s only delaying getting his heart broken.
“Do you not love me anymore?” The words come out small and shy, as if Jungwoo isn’t sure whether or not he wants Yukhei to hear them.
Yukhei looks up immediately, his eyes full of confusion, which dissolves into worry when he sees that Jungwoo’s barely managing to hold back tears. “What do you mean, Woo? Of course I do! Why would you even think that?”
Jungwoo’s looking down and his heart is beating really fast. When he speaks, he feels like he’s stumbling over his words. “I-I just mean, that you’ve been so distant lately. You come home so late and when you do, you don’t want to spend time with me because you’re so tired. I just can’t help feeling like you’re avoiding me and then I tried to figure out why and I thought that it might be because you don’t love me anymore and you’re thinking of leaving me.” Hot tears are rolling down his face by now, he tries to wipe them with the sleeves of sweater, but before he can, Yukhei’s got him in a crushing hug, holding him so tight he might break.
“Oh Woo, oh I’m so sorry, of course not. I love you so much baby, I could never leave you. I’m so sorry,” Yukhei’s peppering kisses all over his face, apologising again and again and trying to reassure him the best he can.
After a couple minutes, it works because Jungwoo’s tears have stopped flowing and he’s left with tiny hiccups as he tries to regain his breath. “So w-why did you not want to talk to me? You kept avoiding me.”
Yukhei presses another sweet kiss to his cheek, tasting the saltiness of tears. “I never meant to avoid you, baby, I’ve been working extra hours because I’ve been preparing for something… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that you felt like this.” He seems to pause for a moment to think. “There’s something I have to go get, Woo, I’ll be right back.” He’s off in an instant, leaving Jungwoo alone on the couch, as he heads towards their bedroom. Two minutes later, he comes back, holding something in his hand that Jungwoo can’t see clearly.
“You know, I really wasn’t planning on doing it like this…” Before Jungwoo can process anything, Yukhei’s dropping to one knee and pulls out a small velvet box, which he opens to reveal a beautiful silver ring. Jungwoo’s mouth hangs open.
“Kim Jungwoo, you are the love of my life. I’ve loved you for so many years and every day I find myself falling deeper for you. I’ve know for a while now that you are the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Despite his outwards confidence, Jungwoo notices that Yukhei’s hands are shaking, and he inhales before finally asking, “Jungwoo, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?”
There’s a moment of silence, as Jungwoo remains stunned. Yukhei’s brows tighten as he feels a tinge of worry and tries to backtrack, “I’m sorry if this isn’t the right moment, I know we were just-”
“I’ll do it,” Jungwoo cuts him off with the declaration.
Yukhei’s eyes grow huge as he stares at his boyfriend’s face. “Y-you will?”
Before he knows it, Jungwoo’s pulling Yukhei into a crushing hug, pressing closer, feeling his heart ache again but for a different reason. “I love you so much, Yukhei. I love you and nothing will make me happier than getting married to you.”
When Jungwoo pulls back, he sees Yukhei wearing his characteristic goofy smile and Jungwoo’s so happy to see it again that he almost forgets about his doubts and worries from just 20 minutes ago.
“You should put it on!” Yukhei suddenly seems really excited, “It should fit, I took your measurements while you were sleeping. And, look, it has our initials engraved on the inside!”
Jungwoo can see the letters ‘WYH, KJW’ engraved on the inside of silver ring. He holds his breath as Yukhei slips the ring over his ring finger, where it fits perfectly. He holds out his hand and can’t keep his eyes off it, it’s the most beautiful ring he’s ever seen. Simple, yet perfect.
“Are you okay, Woo? You’re crying again,” Yukhei sounds worried.
His vision’s gotten blurry and Jungwoo can feel that his cheeks are wet.
“They’re tears of happiness,” he reassures his fiancé before pulling him closer and locking their lips together in a deep kiss.
Pulling away just a millimeter, he whispers the words, “I love you, thank you.”
***
Doyoung wakes up to the sound of his alarm clock buzzing loudly and he reaches out for the snooze button reflexively before rolling back into the covers. He tries to falls back asleep in vain. His bed is large, cold and empty, not unwelcoming, but rather lifeless. It doesn’t take much more than a few minutes before Doyoung is rolling out of bed, beginning his day with a long sigh.
He stands and walk to the window to pull open the curtains and reveal a whole wall made of glass, through which Doyoung has a rare view Seoul. He lives on one of the high floors of a fancy apartment building and it gives him a great view of the modern buildings of the city. In the distance, one can spot the Han river, and pressing up against the glass, you can just about make out the people in the streets below, bustling about to get on with their business for the day.
The room is white and modern, much like the rest of the apartment and in much the same condition as when Doyoung bought it. The kitchen and living room are so clean that it almost feels like no one lives here.
In the kitchen, Doyoung prepares his morning smoothie and granola bowl on the marble countertop before settling on the couch to eat in front of the tv. He turns on some documentary about snow leopards and munches on his breakfast, pensively considering the benefits of a being a solitary and dangerous creature living on mountaintops before his phone rings to indicate that he’s received a message.
Johnny 10:01 am
Morning Do. Look what we received in our email this morning :)
Attached is a picture of the email and a picture, of two men smiling brightly into the camera together, one of them holding up his hand to show off the silver ring on his finger.
Skimming the message in the email, Doyoung’s heart seems to grow a little fuller. The writer of the message, zeus98 or Jungwoo, as he says his name is, expresses his thanks for Doyoung’s help for him reaching this outcome and Doyoung feels just a pinch of pride, even though he knows that he had very little to do with it. He spends his evenings addressing the relationship concerns of listeners and helping them to the best of his abilities, but it’s not often that he sees true love like this so obviously reflected in two individuals’ faces. He thinks that no matter the advice he had given Jungwoo, these two would have still ended up together.
Because Doyoung believes in true love, he does. Even if he doesn’t think it’s meant for him...
He makes a note to remind Johnny to send them a congratulatory reply and sets his phone aside so that he can turn back to his documentary and breakfast. On the tv, the snow leopard has hunted down a family of mountain goats and prepares to attack a young straggler.
Doyoung eats alone as the sounds of the tv echo in his empty apartment.