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“Ok. We have spent the last two days following you around and now you’re trapped. You have two options and to be quite honest with you, my patience is running a little low here.” The Doctor, Yaz and Graham had received a distress call telling them that thousands of people were going missing at an astonishingly fast rate and they couldn’t refuse to be the help these people needed. The monster in question had claws that resembled knives so the Doctor had made an exception this one time to always carry their own knife around so they could defend themselves fairly. Injure but not kill. “Option one. You willingly get off this planet and leave these people alone. Go back to where you came from, confess what you’ve done and suffer the consequences. You’ve caused mass murder everywhere and destroyed families and that’s not okay with me or anyone else for that matter. Or I take you to Stormcage and you can spend a very long time making up for your crime there. Whatever they decide to do with you that is.”
The creature starred at the Doctor this entire time, facial features unchanging before the corner of his mouth pulled up slightly, amused. “You can’t contain me.” His voice was deep. “I’d kill you in a second if you tried.”
“Try me.” The Doctor’s eyes were tired, her patience almost at breaking point. She was exhausted and just wanted this creature away from this planet. Away from killing far too many innocent people. She couldn’t leave until they were safe. They’d been running on adrenaline these last few days and she wasn’t quite sure how the others were feeling, but it was starting to catch up with the Doctor just how much she needed to rest.
The creature was fast moving and suddenly ran itself around the Doctor, catching her off guard as she gasped in pain. Without thinking, her body reacted faster than her brain did and the knife she clutched onto came up into the creature’s chest as he tried to get away, causing blood to splatter and his body becoming heavy. She heard an echo of gasps behind her as her cold and dark eyes stared into the creature’s. The creature looked back in anger but started to fall limp. She slowly looked down onto the knife she was still clutching onto, her knuckles red. It was her grasp onto the knife which was still holding the creature up and it took her a few seconds to let go. The creature hit the floor with a thud, blood spilling from it’s chest as the Doctor also dropped onto her knees.
Silence filled the room. No one dared speak for a moment. No one could even find their breath. This was not part of the plan.
The boys looked at Yaz who had expected her to react in some way to comfort and help her girlfriend but she couldn’t move. She wasn’t even aware the Doctor was capable of such actions. Were any of them aware of that?
Graham edged cautiously towards the Doctor. She was still but shaking and Graham couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t react violently or flip out so he took his time. He glanced at the Doctor’s arm. The creature has swiped her so hard that blood now poured down her sleeve, claw marks exposing the wound.
“Hey, Doc?” Graham whispered, gingerly placing his hand on her shoulder expecting to be shaken off. But he wasn’t. She didn’t flinch at all. He wasn’t sure what she was feeling right now or if the pain from her wound was even registering with her right now but her arm needed attention urgently. “Are you able to stand up for me, please?”
There was no reaction. Her eyes only on the creature’s lifeless body. Graham let a few moments pass, hoping for what he said to finally register with the Doctor and for her to move slightly. But she didn’t.
“Okay, I’m going to help you up and bring you to the TARDIS.” He said out loud his immediate plan so the Doctor knew what was coming. He didn’t want to startle her in any way. When he also got no reaction from that either, Graham linked his arms under her own and pulled her up to her feet. Her body cooperated like a rag doll. Graham looked sad as he looked over to Yaz and Ryan. Yaz’s eyes were locked onto her girlfriends but she was hurt at what she saw and couldn’t move herself.
Graham led the Doctor into the TARDIS, leaving the room in silence once more.
“Yaz?” Ryan questioned.
“I’m okay” She replied, a tear falling down her cheek.
Yaz looked up to Ryan, her lip trembling. “No, you’re not. Come back to the TARDIS” Ryan guided her back like Graham did for the Doctor.
The TARDIS has sensed something was wrong. Even before Graham had half dragged the Doctor through the blue double doors. The ship had a special link with the Doctor. Detecting that she was injured, the TARDIS led Graham down an easy route to the medbay. He was really thankful this ship could do things like that because he would have been wandering around for ages without it and that would have been no help to the Doctor at all.
Entering the med bay was like entering a clinical disaster gone wrong. It was a mess with various instruments and medicines strewn everywhere. A sign that the Doctor attempted to fix herself up half the time and just leaves it in a mess, which Graham found unsurprising. He gently helped the Doctor sit on one of the beds, careful not to cause her more pain. He still wasn’t certain she could feel anything. She looked very numb from herself and the world around her. She was staring blankly ahead, eyes distanced.
“Doc, can you hear me?” Graham queoried. The Doctor slowly turned her head so her eyes met the older man’s. That was good, she could at least register that he spoke to her. “I’m going to take your coat off, okay? I need to sort your arm out before it gets infected. I assume your alien biology isn’t immune to infections” The Doctor didn’t respond to this so Graham took that as confirmation that Time Lords could indeed get infections too.
Graham took her good arm out of the coat first and then slowly pulled her other sleeve down. A good portion of it was sticking to her skin on her bicep at this point from the blood and the Doctor winced. As much as it hurt to see the Doctor so distressed, he was glad she could feel something. He carefully cut the sleeve off of her T-shirt to save the Doctor and himself feeling awkward about taking it off completely. Graham wasn’t sure how the Doctor felt about things like that but he himself would feel awkward on her behalf anyway. They can always get her a new tshirt later on.
Graham got a warm bowl of water at his side and a cloth to start cleaning the wound, lightly taking hold of her lower arm. “This will probably hurt and I’m sorry in advance. Let me know if you want me to stop” As soon as the cloth touched the wound on her arm, the Doctor visibly flinched. Letting her settle again, he got back to it as she became used to the sensation.
A few minutes passed in silence and the water was now very dark but at least the wound was clean. Graham had no idea what to say to her and he could tell she didn’t want to start a conversation. He looked up and noticed silent tears running down her cheeks. Yet she didn’t make a sound. Or move. Graham felt really bad for her. She was clearly in too much shock to even function right now.
After fetching some bandages from across the room, he carefully wrapped them around her arm making sure they were secure and wouldn’t fall off. Her bicep was fairly swollen and the Doctor needed rest. First of all though, he grabbed some tissue and stood in front of the Doctor. He was heartbroken at seeing her like this. He wiped away her tears and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving a comforting smile. “Come on, Doc. Let’s get you to bed.”
Graham helped the Doctor off of the bed and out of the med bay. He found her room easy enough with the help of the TARDIS again. She was clearly very concerned just as much as he was. The Doctor sat on the bed and attempted to take her boots off but found she struggled with her injured arm so Graham had to help her out. She then climbed under the covers, laying on her good arm and clutched Seb close to her chest. “Goodnight, Doc” He waited for a response but didn’t get anything so shut the door and let her sleep. Hopefully she’d be a bit more with it in the morning.
Ryan wasn’t very good with emotions. They made him feel slightly awkward, unsure on how to react or what to say. But Yaz was one of his longest friends and cared deeply for her now she was back in his life. They had come into the kitchen for Ryan to make them both a strong cup of tea. Tea always helped.
Yaz had sat down at the kitchen table, a million thoughts racing through her head all at once. She was confused, angry, scared, hurt… in love? She thought anyway. Now she was questioning everything. “What if we don’t know who we’re actually travelling with?”
“What?” Ryan turned round and placed a cup in front of Yaz and she took it gladly.
“What if my girlfriend is actually a cold blooded murderer and we’re all travelling with her thinking we’re friends when she’s actually planning on murdering us all further down the line?!” Yaz could feel herself getting worked up but she wasn’t sure how to take what she witnessed.
“Yaz, I think you’re overreacting. I mean, the Doctor is so bubbly and kind all the time. She wouldn’t hurt a fly” Ryan reasoned.
“But she did! She killed someone without hesitation despite always preaching not too”
“Not that I condone what she did but he did kill thousands of people in all fairness. The Doctor tried reasoning with him but he lashed out and she did too.”
Yaz sighed, more tears falling. “I know he deserved it really but I wasn’t aware the Doctor was even capable of doing something like that. Thinking about it, we don’t know anything about her prior to us meeting her other than the fact she used to be a Scottish man.” She took a sip of her tea as Graham walked in. “How is she?”
“She’s in shock, Yaz. She hasn’t said a word to me, she’s just been shaking and crying. I fixed up her arm though and put her to bed.” Graham poured a cup of tea of his own. He needed it. Yaz’s mug hit the table with a clang as she quickly got up to leave the room. “Oi, be careful what you say to her.”
Yaz walked into their bedroom to hear muffled crying coming from the Doctor. She was under the covers clutching her stuffed shark, her shoulders shaking from her sobs. Yaz sat on the other side of the bed and gently placed her hand upon the Doctor’s arm which caused the Time Lord to flinch and jerk away. The sudden movement caused a sharp pain to shoot through her arm and the Doctor sobbed even harder. “I’m so sorry, Yaz.”
“Doctor, it’s going to be okay.” Why did she say that? Yaz was hurt that the Doctor flinched away from her own girlfriend and she had so many questions running through her head anyway to know that things definitely were not okay right now.
“No, it’s not. I’m an awful person whose past keeps creeping back up on them. I’m a danger to myself and to you and I don’t know why I keep allowing people to travel with me when it always ends in tears and heartbreak. People die because of me, even when I don’t mean for these things to happen. I don’t want anyone to die and I didn’t mean to lash out earlier and kill him so violently. But I can’t change it now. It’s happened and I’m going to have to live with that guilt with me for the rest of my life.”
“Doctor…” Yaz tried placing her hand on her arm again only to be pushed off.
“Please don’t touch me, Yaz. I don’t want to hurt you” All Yaz wanted to do was pull her into a hug and forget this ever happened. But this was a whole new Doctor in front of her right now, one she had never met before. The Doctor got out of bed, wincing as her arm moved. “Look, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be together. I don’t know why I ever thought it was a good idea.”
Yaz trembled. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I think I need some space to sort things out. You’re also human and I’m not. It’s not going to work.”
Yaz felt herself getting mad at her. “Doctor, I get it. You’ve had a bad day and you’re angry at yourself and hurt but you’re not yourself right now. You don’t mean any of what you’re saying.” She couldn’t comprehend to herself that what the Doctor was saying could actually be true, could it?
“Course I do. What, you think just because I’m not in a good place right now, that I don’t know my own mind? I know how this is going to end so I’m saving both of us heartbreak whilst I can. I’m not good for you, Yaz.”
“That’s where you’re wrong! You’ve done nothing but bring joy and wonder into my life since the day you came to Sheffield and I don’t know where I’d be without you!” Her voice cracked and tears came flooding down her face.
“I can’t be responsible for that, Yaz. Without me, you’d be focusing on your police career and enjoying what Earth life has to offer you. You’re a wonderful person and I can’t let a murderer like myself ruin you.” They were both in tears now. “You know what, I really just want some space right now so you sleep in here and I’m going to spend some time alone.” The Doctor picked up Seb and stormed out.
“Fine, I survived before you came into my life, I’m sure I can do so again!” Yaz slumped down onto the bed and buried her face in her hands, letting the tears flow freely. She couldn’t believe they’d just had their first argument. Yaz’s heart felt heavy with dread at the thought of what the future of their relationship might be. Things were going so well too.
After changing into her pyjamas, Yaz crawled into bed with Ellie close to her. She already missed the Doctor’s presence. Even during the nights the Doctor didn’t sleep, she would still be next to her. She’d at least hold her close until Yaz fell asleep. She felt lonelier than ever tonight.
Two hours ticked by and she still hadn’t managed to fall asleep at all. She kept tossing and turning, her mind racing. She wanted desperately to sleep. To forget for a few hours what had happened today. She wanted to get the image of the Doctor holding the knife into the creature out of her head. She wanted to forget they ever argued. That the Doctor had walked out and left her here to sleep alone.
Despite everything, she couldn’t shake that smitten feeling she had before today’s events though. The Doctor really had changed her life in more ways than one and their relationship was the best thing to ever happen to her. If the Doctor sent them all away, she wouldn’t be sure she could cope.
After another hour went by, she decided enough was enough and to give up on trying to sleep. She had too much on her mind for her brain to relax. Yaz wanted to see the Doctor again, she wouldn’t care if she was pushed away. She needed to hug her girlfriend.
Walking through the corridors, the TARDIS gave a slight hum. She wasn’t sure what Ryan and Graham had gotten to but the ship was very quiet. She wasn’t even sure where to start looking for the Doctor. She could be anywhere. “Um, TARDIS?” Yaz whispered. She felt slightly awkward talking to a ship. The TARDIS hummed again in reply. “Any chance you could help me find the Doctor, please?”
Nothing happened for a few moments and Yaz was starting to think the ship was just simply ignoring her request but then the floor lit up in a soft glow ahead of her. The ship was guiding her. It took a few minutes to follow the lights but they eventually led her to a small cupboard like room. There wasn’t anything inside it apart from a tear stained Doctor. She was sat on the floor against the wall with her knees up to her chest. Her arms wrapped around them with her head buried. Seb was on the floor next to her.
Yaz leaned against the door frame. “Doctor, what are you doing in here?” She asked softly.
The Doctor looked up. “Sorry, I just needed somewhere to go with my thoughts. How did you find me?” Yaz looked down to the floor outside the small room at the lights still glowing. “Oh, the TARDIS helped you. Of course she did”
“I couldn’t sleep after that argument. I had to know you were okay” Yaz sat on the floor next to the Doctor. Yaz wrapped her arm around her shoulders but she didn’t flinch away this time. She was glad. The Doctor had obviously done a lot of thinking in here and calmed down.
The Doctor let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry for getting angry. It’s just… I thought I was past all this. I thought this version of me was different.”
Yaz pulled her into her chest. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re allowed to feel guilty and I know it doesn’t make it right but he did kill thousands of people.”
“I guess you’re right. I just don’t know what came over me when I lashed out.”
Yaz thought about what she wanted to say next. “You’re still a wonderful person. I won’t deny that it has made me question a few things about you.” The Doctor looked up with sad eyes. “But I’ve realised your past is your business and I don’t need to know everything. If you do decide to tell me one day, that’s also fine. I will be here to listen and to understand but it’s your life and not mine. Today’s mistake doesn’t make you broken and it doesn’t invalidate our relationship. I still love you.”
“Yaz, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you so much and I’m truly very sorry. For everything.” Yaz was worried the Doctor was going to start crying again but she didn’t.
They sat there in silence for a few moments in an embrace, Yaz stroking her hand down the Doctor’s good arm in comfort. “How’s your arm feeling?”
“It hurts quite a lot but it should heal completely in a few days. Time Lords heal quite fast.”
Yaz tightened her embrace slightly and kissed her forehead. “Shall we get you some painkillers and then both get some sleep?”
The Doctor nodded. “Yes, please”
After the Doctor had taken something for the pain, the pair got into bed in each other’s arms and fell asleep, content at having the other with them again. Things had definitely changed between them. There was a lot of hurt and anger and there would be discussions for that another time but as of right now, they slept peacefully in love with each other.