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Manga Arc 1: The Epic Battle of Sakurai Ryou vs. Touou
Imayoshi-senpai was the wise leader, who Sakurai counted on to tell him what to do when he was lost. The Minato Namikaze to Sakurai's Kakashi. The Roy Mustang to Sakurai's Sergeant Fuery. Of course, the fact that he was more evil than most leaders terrified Sakurai. He was more Yagami Light than Nara Shikamaru, that was for sure. Wakamatsu-senpai, Sakurai felt, was a little like Haruno Sakura — someone he feared because of his violence, but was easy to like because he was otherwise harmless. Sakurai was scared of both of them. He was scared to disappoint them. So in his manga, the protagonist Sakurai Ryou always exceeded their expectations. The Sakurai Ryou in his manga always made them proud.
The first time Aomine-kun took karaage from Sakurai's bento without asking, Sakurai had stiffened, terrified. Later that day, he drew the epic battle between Aomine Daiki vs Sakurai Ryou, where the Sakurai Ryou in his manga did not just stammer, apologize and let him take it, but had stood up for himself, yelled at Aomine for stealing his food, and came out triumphant and heroic from the battle. He drew a Sakurai who did not just let Aomine walk all over him, but was strong and brave and cool enough to challenge Aomine.
Later, Aomine-kun took more and more of his food, and Sakurai drew more and more epic battles. Yet, somehow along the way, the plot in his manga changed. Aomine Daiki changed from his nemesis to his immature, annoying comrade.
He began thinking of him as the Sasuke to his Naruto. After all, it was hard to keep resenting him when Aomine- kun was more whiny brat than intimidating bully, would demand for his bentos on one hand with a “Ryou, I’m hungry”, then slam a hand on his head during training, if he’d made a particularly good shot (which hurt, but somehow made Sakurai feel proud of himself).
After first meeting Momoi, Sakurai had a weird period of prolifically drawing shojo manga, all featuring flowery, sparkly scenes of Momoi tearfully confessing her attraction for Sakurai. Aomine-kun would be the challenge Sakurai had to dramatically overcome every time. Gallantly taking him down in an epic battle was always the way to Momoi's heart.
Then he looked closer, and after one stormy night of trying to draw through his tears, trying to draw the scene where Sakurai Ryou watched his supposed main love interest walk off with another boy, Sakurai grew contented with keeping Momoi Satsuki as the beautiful but unattainable first love of the protagonist of his manga.
There was only so much one could do when the challenge for her love was not Aomine as he originally thought, but one Kuroko Tetsuya. A character Sakurai tried and tried again to figure out where he fit in his manga, but never could, mainly because he never could remember long enough how Kuroko looked like to draw him out — he was like a ghost in that sense. Kuroko Tetsuya was like Kaname Kuran to Sakurai’s Zero Kiryuu — compared to Momoi’s first love, he could never win.
Manga Arc 2: The Epic Battle of Sakurai Ryou vs. the Shooting Guards
When Touou went against Kaijou, everyone had been transfixed on the epic battle between Aomine and Kise, but Sakurai had been caught up in his own epic battle, against Moriyama. In the overwhelming, dazzling presence of Miracle vs. Miracle, no one bothered to look at anyone else, even at the shooting guards, no matter how much they tried their best to contribute to their school's win. But in Sakurai’s manga, the battle of Sakurai Ryou vs. Moriyama Yoshitaka was the main conflict in the arc, and they were the ace vs. ace of the match. And their efforts were celebrated, not ignored and overlooked.
Hyuuga Junpei was Sakurai Ryou's first major nemesis, and a worthy opponent, the Gray Fullbuster to Sakurai’s Natsu Dragoneel. But later, after Touou's loss to Seirin, Sakurai would redraw the scene over and over again. Redrawing scenes where he successfully blocked Hyuuga's shots. Redrawing scenes where he tried shooting more, fought more, fought harder, to ensure Touou's win. He always ended up tearing up his beautiful drawings. What good did they do, when the reality was that he did not do enough to get Touou through to the Winter Cup?
Midorima Shintarou was always the ultimate 'boss' opponent in Sakurai's manga, the Uchiha Madara, the Sosuke Aizen, to which Sakurai Ryou had to beat. For any shooting guard, watching Midorima play was both awe-inspiring, and heart-wrenchingly painful. In the face of his blazing presence and ruthless accuracy, they were confronted by the inevitability that they would never reach that level. It didn't matter even if Sakurai went on a training trip with a Three-Pointer Sannin, or sought out the Hiko Seijurou Jusandai of outside scoring. He didn't have the natural ability — it was no use even apologizing for the fact.
Manga Arc 3: The Epic Battle of Sakurai Ryou vs. Sakurai Ryou
Drawing manga helped Sakurai place his teammates, his fears and insecurities, on a page. In his manga, Sakurai Ryou always managed to overcome the challenges he faced. In his manga, Sakurai Ryou never apologized for anything, not for his existence, not when he forgot to bring Aomine a bento, not when he missed a shot that could have clinched a certain win. In his manga, Sakurai Ryou could do anything.
One time, after Touou's loss to Seirin, after watching Midorima Shintarou play, Sakurai had, to his eternal shame, drawn a manga where he was a Miracle. In his manga, Sakurai Ryou did not have the unerring accuracy of Midorima, but he attracted admiration for his quick release shots, so fast that no one, not Hyuuga, not even Aomine, could stop them. Real Sakurai had stared at manga Sakurai, at what he had drawn for a long time, feeling the intense longing sink in his heart, for something that could never be. Then he tore it all up, every page of that manga, every page that documented his shame of longing for a fantasy that could never become reality.
No matter how perfect he managed the proportions, how realistic his depictions were, Sakurai always tore up the most shameful of his work. The more realistic his manga became, the more obvious how different reality actually was. It didn't matter how perfect he could draw the form of Aomine's formless shots, of Imayoshi-senpai's buzzer beaters, if the real Sakurai himself could not be the Sakurai Ryou in the manga. It did not matter how real he could draw everyone when the real Sakurai Ryou would never be Touou's ace.
After the Winter Cup, Wakamatsu-senpai became captain. Aomine started coming to practice regularly, and Touou started teamwork exercises, galvanized by their loss at the Winter Cup. The first time it happened, Sakurai found himself struggling with the odd sensation of drawing a manga where Sakurai Ryou worked with others, instead of fighting epic battles by himself.
As Touou’s new training philosophy went on, Sakurai got better at drawing teamwork. The last manga Sakurai drew involved the guild of Touou's training voyage to the jungle, where the only epic battle was between Aomine and a bee (at which Aomine threatened Sakurai not to tell anyone — and that clinched the image that in reality, Aomine was more Naruto than Sasuke to Sakurai, more the bumbling dork than cool genius).
Sakurai had decided. His future manga would be less on epic battles between Sakurai Ryou, alone, vs the world, and more of the Guild of Touou, together, vs their opponents. He was done blaming his insecurities on others, and starting to take responsibility for them himself. Sakurai Ryou was ready to let others support him, instead of trying to fight his epic battles by himself. He was done longing to be Sakurai Ryou the lone hero in his manga, who could do anything by himself, and wanted to be the Real Sakurai Ryou, part of the guild of nakama that could do anything together.
Real Sakurai Ryou was ready to be better than manga Sakurai Ryou.