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Lance McClain absolutely despised Keith Kogane their first year at Hogwarts. Not only were they sorted into the same house (of course Keith couldn't have weaseled his way into Slytherin, of course, he had to be a Gryffindor), but they were always at odds with one another from the moment they met.
He first saw Keith walking by on the train, a bit taller than Lance, chubby cheeks puffed out in annoyance, dark bangs sweeping just above the start of his raised eyebrows. Lance recognized him from his father's time working in the Ministry. Keith looked exactly like his mother, who was an Auror—and a damn good one too. She’s been known for setting the current record for wizards and witches thrown in Azkaban (Lance wanted to surpass her record when he becomes an Auror himself).
Keith accidentally bumped into Lance on their way into the Great Hall and Lance nearly cursed him out then and there. If everyone in the school didn’t have their eyes on them, he would’ve hexed him into spouting rhymes with every sentence for the next week.
A few weeks after the sorting ceremony, they actually did get into a fight. Lance was walking the halls with his friends when Keith came trudging around the corner with a few first year Slytherins. Lance had been a little off edge the entire day as a result of an unexpected wake-up call from a cat that happened to belong to the Gryffindor currently walking in this direction.
“Tell your feline to keep his paws off of me.” Keith stopped in his tracks at the sound of Lance’s squeaky voice.
“Huh?” Was all he managed to say before realizing what Lance meant. “It’s not my fault he likes to be around people, unlike every other cat.”
“Well tell him to stay with you. I don’t need to wake every morning to cat scratches in new places.” Lance huffs. Although he mostly reacts out of anger, Lance really doesn't enjoy seeing freshly torn up marks on his arms and stomach when he gets dressed for the day.
Keith balls his hands into little fists, his knuckles turning a pale white in contrast to his already ghostly complexion. “It’s not my fault he does whatever he wants. Not like you restrict your bird from leaving droppings on our windowsill.” He says with a pang of anger in his voice. If he wasn't blowing steam before he surely is now.
“That isn’t even Berto it’s the passing owls you little—”
“Little what?” Keith clenches his teeth together, a loud clicking sound hanging loosely in the air.
“You little know it all!” Lance squeaks out and that sets off the explosion in both of them.
Keith is fast to react, but Lance is faster. He whips out his wand from his robe's inner left pocket—a trick he’d learned from his older brother—and immediately casts a “Stupify!”, immobilizing Keith before he has the chance to cast any spell himself.
They both earned a weeks worth of detention for their little dueling attempt. Cleaning chalkboards without magic was a pain in the ass, especially when it’s spent in the company of the one person you’d rather gauge your eyes out than be with.
Thus ensued a rivalry. A painful rivalry filled with antagonizing and mockery, of late nights studying to perfect the next potions test and yes, Hunk, he had to one-up the guy, he just had to.
He envied the fact that Keith could ace anything without giving it much thought. He was talented without even trying. Lance had to work for that level of achievement. Had to spend countless nights staying up late in the common room flipping through books, memorizing spells or ingredients that produced something as simple as a healing potion.
His dad isn't even a wizard for Merlin's sake!
Both of Lance's parents are, as are each of his older siblings, all proudly sorted into Gryffindor. And yet, no matter how hard Lance tries, he can't amount to the levels of success Keith achieves.
Their second year at Hogwarts wasn't any different. Keith continued to excel with every class he found himself in, and Lance was always second best, no matter how hard he tried. "Oh, another McClain. Are you the last of the bunch?." His teachers would say, unamused when he walked into their classroom the first day.
"You're Takashi Shirogane's brother, aren't you? I'm delighted to have another student from the Kogane clan in my class." They would say as soon as Keith stepped in, except the youngest Kogane was the one looking unamused.
They spent more time together in their second year due to the fact that they both made the Gryffindor Quidditch team—Keith a seeker, for his smaller stature and agility. Lance a beater, since he was the best little league batter back in Varadero and had no problem whacking a bludger across the pitch.
Third year was when things began to shift between the two. A seemingly one-sided rivalry grew into a two-sided friendship. It all came down to the first match that year against Ravenclaw. Gryffindor was up by twenty and some of the older Ravenclaw students didn't particularly appreciate that. In fact, someone—they never found out who—enchanted a quaffle and it charged full speed at Keith to knock him off his broom (logic being if Gryffindor lost their seeker, they wouldn't get the snitch and would lose the game).
Without thinking, Lance threw himself in front of Keith, taking the ball to the face, knocking him unconscious in the infirmary for nearly a week.
All of his friends visited him, bringing enough pumpkin juice and jellybeans to last a lifetime. He woke to a concerned Pidge standing over him, her eyebrows furrowed deeply in worry and Hunk, who'd nearly sobbed all the tears left in him onto Lance's shirt.
A few weeks after the last incident, Keith approached him while he was studying for a transfigurations midterm in the library.
"Lance?" His voice was small and oddly high for a fourteen-year-old boy.
Lance glanced up from his textbook, very much surprised to see a worried expression behind the dark bangs of Keith. "Yeah?" He responded.
"I just," He managed to say "I just wanted to say thank you, for taking that quaffle for me." Lance shrugged, turning back to his book in expectation this was where their conversation died much like it usually did.
"It really wasn't anything, it's what teammates do, they help each other." He nearly jumps from his seat when a hand pushes his book down on the table with force.
"You were in the infirmary for over a week because of me. You can't just—you can't expect me to treat that like it was nothing. You have a bruised face for crying out loud!" Keith's face is red. Gryffindor scarlet red. His cheeks puff with frustration and Lance doesn't think he's seen him this worked up since their first encounter last year when Lance turned Keith's hair bright purple out of anger and annoyance.
"Relax, man. It was just a quaffle, the bruising means it's healing or something like that. I'd take another ball to the face for you again if I had to, now can we please drop it? I have to finish studying." He surprises himself that he'd said something of that calliber. But it was the truth. He would take a quaffle for Keith again, he'd take a quaffle for anyone if it came down to it.
"I can help you, if you want," Keith says just barely above a whisper and Lance is even more surprised because he didn't think the all-powerful Keith could sound so small and insignificant. Lance is hesitant, but he agrees, even tells Keith it'll make him even for the incident if that makes him feel better about what happened (it isn't until their fifth year that Lance finds out from Hunk that Keith visited Lance in the infirmary every day before and after lessons. Hunk even caught him holding onto Lance's hand, whispering pleas of guilt).
After that, the two developed a rather unique friendship. They'd study together before any big test (Lance discovered that Keith does in fact study, he just does it over in an unused classroom because its only fitting he prefers to study alone). Keith started sitting with Lance and his friends for lunch, and he sat next to Lance at the Gryffindor table for dinner. He learned things about Keith that changed how he saw him. Like how Keith's mother worked for the Ministry of Magic in London but he grew up in Korea with his family and half-brother, Shiro, who used to be a professional quidditch player until he lost his right arm in a dueling accident. The more he got to know Keith, the easier it became to enjoy himself at school. He finally understood how to properly cast this year's added transfiguration spells and it was all thanks to Keith and his stupidly smart brain. He walked with him to and from every quidditch practice and they even hung out together after games, often ending up in the boys' dormitory where Lance was a tangled mess of limbs spread out on Keith's bed where they talked about anything and everything from house cup predictions to which of their teachers were secretly snogging.
It was nice to have a friend in his own house to spend time with. Of course, he loved spending time with Hunk and Pidge but they were in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and at the end of the day when he was feeling a little lonely and needed the company of another, there was Keith, who slept just a few beds down from his own.
Fourth year was a blur, except for Winter break, when Lance spends his time with Keith and his family in Korea for the holidays. His family was a little upset the youngest McClain wasn't present for Christmas and El Año Nuevo—and all the other holiday festivities—but he made sure to send them lots of love and gifts to their house. He even promised to bring Keith to Cuba next Christmas to which his mother was more than delighted to hear.
Lance learned that although Keith's brother, Shiro was accepted in the Kogane household for his homosexuality, he wasn't exactly approved of. That's something Keith took especially hard.
"I just don't get it," He sighed, practically throwing himself at his perfectly made bed. "How could two people, who don't even fit in in the non-magical world, be so cruel." They'd just finished supper with Keith's parents, Shiro, and Shiro's fiance. Lance could tell something was up with Keith by the unusual fidgeting and quietness in his voice.
"I mean, I don't really get it either." Lance shrugs taking a seat at the foot of his bed. "Maybe it's just a generational thing." He says after a long moment of rather uncomfortable silence.
Keith makes a noise that sounds like a choked off sob and it alarms Lance, sending his eyes darting in Keith's direction without a second thought.
"Keith?" He's worried for his friend. It's natural for Keith to overwork himself when he pours out his emotions to Lance, but this is different. He seems genuinely pained like this isn't just something Shiro deals with, like Keith might also experience this disapproval from his family. And it pains Lance to know that Keith, who's already dealt with enough sadness and pain to last him three lifetimes, has to deal with this too. Keith looks at him with tears already dripping from his chin onto his lap. He looks deflated, completely crushed. And Lance hates it.
"I-It's just so hard." Is all he says before he completely breaks down before Lance. Sure, he's been open with Lance about his feelings on numerous occasions, but he's never fully let his guard down in front of him. He's never let Lance or anyone for that fact see him cry. It's fascinating in the sort of way seeing a unicorn darting around the edge of school grounds makes you feel. It still pains him to see, though.
He doesn't pressure Keith to tell him, doesn't ask him if he has something to share or anything to declare. Lance simply falls back against the mattress and pulls Keith into him. He stays silent as Keith clings to his shirt like a child clings to their favorite toy. Doesn't even bother to push him away when he feels Keith's hot tears soaking through it. Instead, he pulls him closer, humming the words to a happy song, and allows him to let every last bit of sadness pour out onto his chest in the form of a runny nose and salted tears.
He wishes it weren't so hard for him. His own family is extremely accepting of his gay sister, despite their devoutly Catholic background. They let her know that who she's attracted to doesn't change their love for her. He wishes Keith's family could be that way for him and his brother.
All Lance wants to do right now is protect Keith. To shield him from all the horrors of the world. It doesn't matter to him that Keith is only attracted to other guys, it doesn't change how he sees him. I mean of course it changes how he sees him (all the times he shrugged off girls is beginning to make a lot of sense) but it doesn't change how Lance sees him as a person. He's still the same hot-headed, awful hair wearing, person he was ten minutes ago at dinner, and he'll still be that person ten years from now.
"This doesn't change anything," Lance whispers while running a hand through Keith's disheveled hair. "You're still one of my best friends. It doesn't matter who you love or who you don't. You're still Keith. My Keith." It only works Keith up all over again, but at least this time it's over the things Lance says and not the way the things his parents say make him feel.
That moment, the two of them alone with nothing but each other, lit something in Lance's heart. Barely recognizable to the untrained eye, but still there. And from the day the Spring term resumed in the new year and forward, something changed between the two boys. It shocked most of their classmates that two people who so wholeheartedly sought out the other's demise in their first few years at Hogwarts could return this close of friends.
Their friendship continued into their fifth year. Keith returned taller—almost Lance's height—and more mature. Apparently, an entire summer in the States with his brother and his brother's fiancé was enough to knock some sense into the guy. He'd also returned to school with a new relationship. Keith started dating a guy in their year at the very end of last semester. Lance was so happy for his friend. Keith deserved to be happy and in love away from everyone telling him that he isn't allowed to be himself or love whomever he wants. Ryan, a fifth year Hufflepuff a little softer than anyone he expected Keith to be with, but they seem happy together, Keith seems happy. So why isn't Lance?
He figures the emptiness in his enormous heart was because his best friend was off finding romance while he sat on his ass all night long studying or tossing a ball at the wall. A proper girlfriend, that's what he needed.
So in his fifth year, Lance experimented with the lengths of his romantic encounters. Kissed girl after girl at parties off and during the quidditch season. Sometimes he'd see Ryan at a party with Keith, an arm hooked around his waist, nuzzling into the nape of his neck where the soft tumble of raven waves curled up at the ends. And Lance couldn't help but become more invested in his time with the girl by his side whenever he encountered the pair laughing at something off in the distance. He'd even go as far as pressing a chaste kiss to her lips in the midst of Keith and Ryan dancing together to a song in the middle of the common room under the pale moonlight, seemingly right out of a fairytale.
But none of that took away the weight he bore in his chest whenever he even thought of Keith with his boyfriend. And it wasn't that he was homophobic, god no he's never been that way, his own sister is a lesbian and in a very serious relationship with her girlfriend—and Lance loves them both with his entire being.
It doesn't explain why he would snap at Keith right before their big game against Slytherin. It doesn't explain how Ryan standing there before the team would bother him so much. It definitely doesn't explain the way his stomach feels thirty pounds heavier the second Ryan places a good luck kiss to Keith's mouth, leaving his own with a dry bitterness. It doesn't explain the way Lance brushes past them with an expression of discontentment, an expression of disgust, before taking the field.
The second he's out on the pitch with his team, he instantly regrets the way he acted and prays to any listening deities that Keith didn't notice.
Only he does notice. Oh, he absolutely notices and after the match, he makes Lance very clear of that.
"What the hell is your problem?" Keith barks, pushing Lance into a wall just inside the school. Many of their teammates pass them without a second glance—they're used to the two Gryffindors bickering playfully— so they must assume this is just another one of their silly quarrels.
"My problem?" Lance asks "We won, I don't have a problem."
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Keith's jaw tightens, and Lance knows that whenever Keith does that, he means trouble. The last time he seemed this angry, Keith nearly socked a guy in the face if Lance wasn't there to force him back.
"Before the game? Look, man, it was nothing. I didn't mean it." Lance says, swallowing thickly, his mouth feeling drier than ever.
"Bullshit," Keith says bluntly. A typical response from him. Keith says things like they are not how others want it to be. That doesn't mean it doesn't leave a hollow feeling in Lance's chest to hear Keith's anger directed at him. "You've been giving us weird looks all semester."
Lance stares at Keith with an unrecognizable expression. He thought Keith was too busy with Ryan to notice anything he's done.
"So why don't you just tell me you have a problem with me dating a guy and we can end this friendship right now because I don't want to be friends with someone who acts like my parents," Keith says coldly. It sends chills down Lance's entire body. He knew Keith could be this icy, but he didn't think he could in the face of his best friend.
"Keith," Lance shifts a bit, giving himself more room between the wall "If you think that for a second I would judge you for that, then..."
"Then what?" Keith snaps. His eyes are gray. A light gray, not quite blue and with a hint of purple—how that's even possible still confuses Lance to this day. His eyes are cold and uninviting, serious but filled with sadness and uncertainty. They're firm and know exactly the right way to send someone hiding behind the nearest person in fear.
Right now, they look blurry, and that's not from the tears blocking Lance's vision. Keith's eyes are firm, but they're fragile in a way no one could ever imagine. Only Keith's parents know the extent of his eyes. The way they shatter into a million pieces atone to their harsh words. But in this moment, in this empty hallway, Lance thinks, he's seen that too.
"Then you don't really know what kind of friend I am." Lance snaps, feeling a thousand pounds weighing him down with every passing word. "Maybe I don't." Keith releases his hold on Lance, allowing him to move freely once more.
"Then maybe we shouldn't even be friends," Lance says, voice laced thick with a mixture of anger, confusion, and regret.
Lance thinks more than the look in Keith's eyes shattered that day.
They stop talking altogether. They stop studying late into the night. Keith stops coming to Lance's bedside whenever a nightmare causes a panic attack. Lance stops combing his fingers through Keith's hair and sleepily mumbling words to calm him. Keith stops waiting for Lance after quidditch practice, after breakfast, after divination classes, after everything. They're completely cut off from each other. And Lance hates it. He hates every single thing about not being able to be around Keith for longer than a few seconds.
Lance thinks this is worse than when they were pinned against one another, unable to stand in the same room and not risk burning an entire building down.
He makes new friends, Allura and Romelle. They treat him as nice as Pidge and Hunk do. The five of them spend their weekends together, as well as their breakfasts and lunches, and it's nice. It's nice to have a stable friend group and not worry about the one friend that is no longer present.
Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes when Lance sees a first year nearly wet themselves trying to go into the Dark Forest, he goes to tell Keith (they always got a good laugh out of that) but soon realizes he can't. Sometimes when Lance misses home or is just feeling downright sad, he moves to sit with Keith, to talk about his feelings, to weasel his way into Keith's bed, to let Keith hold him for a change and have him tell him everything is going to turn out alright.
"Maybe you just have to apologize to him," Allura suggests, and it's a nice gesture.
"Or maybe you could explain to him what really happened." Says Romelle.
"Maybe you should tell us the real reason you freaked out the way you did," Pidge demands.
If Lance is being completely honest, he doesn't really understand why he lashed out the way he did. He doesn't think he ever fully will.
During the second semester, Lance is convinced it's because he missed Keith, he missed having his best friend around all the time. He was so set that this was the sole reason he acted like a complete and utter ass to him. And after months of deliberation and anxiety over the subject, Lance decides he needs to talk to Keith, because it's been far too long, they've been apart far too long.
Of course, Keith agrees to this. Even if they aren't exactly friends anymore, Lance still notices the way Keith's left brow twitches a bit in confusion when he has something on his mind. And when he slips a note into Yorak's collar (yes he gave up on shoving him away every other morning), he watches Keith carefully unravel the slip of parchment, not missing the familiar arch of his eyebrows as he sets the paper down on his table and shoots Lance a scowl that has more bark than bite.
They meet out by the Dark Forest, in the grass where no one ever really goes (not the smartest idea considering Keith probably wants to strangle him or curse him for all eternity).
"Thanks for coming," Lance says quietly, fidgeting with the ends of his collared shirt.
Keith mumbles a "Yeah, sure" and takes a seat in the grass next to him, waiting for Lance to continue.
"I'm so sorry, Keith." He exhales sharply. "I should've told you how I felt instead of throwing myself at girls and giving you side glances."
Keith says nothing, just looks at Lance with cold, glossy eyes.
"I guess I just missed you. I missed having my best friend around all the time. I guess I felt second best to Ryan, like he'd stolen my spot in your life." Lance sighs, feeling small.
He doesn't expect the reaction he receives out of Keith.
A heavy silence hangs in the air around them. It's broken when Lance feels a familiar but long-felt warmth around his palm, and rather dainty fingers finding their way into the crevices of his own. Lance dares a glance at their hands and then up at Keith, who seems to know exactly what he's doing to Lance's heart without his knowledge. He swears he sees something set ablaze to his icy eyes.
"I completely left you for him. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry." Keith says, gripping Lance's hand. Lance grips Keith's.
"I should be the one apologizing. You're allowed to have other friends, or boyfriends in this case," Lance says.
"But they shouldn't overtake you. You're my best friend. I'm sorry I lashed out at you and shut you out." Keith says, now staring off into the distance at the setting sun.
"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, it was immature and childish." He sighs. "You know I'd never judge you for dating guys, right?" Keith nods, his eyes focused on the trees that no one dares go past to this day after all the child time horror stories told before bed and the rumors of the horrible memories associated with the now unknown territory.
"I mean it, Keith." He gives his hand a little squeeze. "There's nothing you could ever do that would make me want to end our friendship." There are another few moments of silence. This one feels less weighted, the opposite, actually. More like the weight has been lifted into the air and Lance can finally breathe again.
"Even if I summoned spiders into your bed?" Keith asks, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. A smirk Lance has long missed.
Lance holds back his laughter. "Even if you summoned spiders into my bed." He smiles because he knows that's not the worst Keith could do. But also because he's missed this, joking with Keith, spending time with him. Just being in his presence without the heavy tension surrounding even the air around them.
They spend the rest of their afternoon out in the grass, taking turns catching up and pointing out different cloud shapes passing through the shifting sky. It's nice, Lance has missed it. He thinks Keith has too, even if he puts on a familiar front of indifference.
"By the way," Keith speaks up after a long time of the two of them just staring at the sky and passing students "No one could ever take your place." Color rises to Lance's cheeks; he can't distinguish if it's from the heat outside or Keith's comment. He decides he won't dwindle on it, instead enjoying Keith's company.
Things gradually fall back into routine. Studying resumes, late night talks after Quidditch practice, stakeouts to the restricted section of the library. And just when everything gets back to however normal things can get for the two of them, Lance has to go and mess it up.
It's their sixth year now, and Lance is taking tonight to study alone in early preparation for his N.E.W.T.S. He's half-surprised himself when he decides to begin studying. He passed his O.W.L.S with flying colors and didn't have to test again until his seventh and final year, but it didn't hurt to get a head start.
At around one in the morning, Lance decides to call it a night. He packs up his books and writing equipment, making his way for the stairs to the dormitory's when someone enters the common room. Pale skin but a toned body, mangled hair and shirtless. The moonlight from the window casts a white halo over his dark locks and Lance thinks that this is probably the most beautiful person he has ever had the pleasure of looking at with his own two eyes.
"You finished studying?" His voice is groggy with sleep and Lance has to blink a few times to realize that the boy he's looking at is actually in fact, Keith.
It takes Lance everything in him not to run out of the room screaming bloody murder because he just looked at his best friend and for a moment, saw him as attractive. Sure. Keith's a good looking guy. Toned muscles, chiseled jawline, high cheekbones. Lance knows this. He sees Keith as someone he would be down to snog with right now. Scratch that, he sees Keith as the missing puzzle piece to Lance's life right now. As someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with and thereafter. He can see it so clearly, the two of them owning a flat together, Lance cooking some of his mom's traditional Cuban dishes for them on the days he's home early, greeting Keith with a yearning kiss or two by the door. Spending their days off in bed together, wrapped in warm blankets, watching Star Wars marathons on television, enjoying each other's company. Being there to see the horrified looks of Keith's family when he brings home his fiancé, a man, home for holiday, rubbing it in their stuck up faces and leaving to spend the rest of their trip in a hotel far away from those sorry excuses of people. Introducing his fiancé to his own family, letting Keith receive the love and support neglected for most of his life. Standing up at the altar, unable to hold back the tears now streaming down his face as Keith reads his vows with tears of his own. He wants it, he wants all of it.
"Just finished actually." Lance fumbles to catch the falling book from his pile but manages just before it has the chance to crash to the ground and wake someone. He completely averts all eye contact, staring directly forward as he heads up the stairs, carefully stepping with caution so that his shaky legs don't give out on him with one misstep. He can hear Keith's feet padding softly behind him. Lance tenses every time his feet touch a new stair.
"Can I come to your bed?" Keith murmurs just barely above a whisper. "I can't sleep."
Lance should say no. He should protect his fragile and very confused heart and tell Keith that he isn't feeling well and that he should sleep in his own bed, that if he can't sleep again tomorrow, he can come. He should say he needs to take a stretch break to loosen up his stiff muscles with a walk around the castle to avoid looking Keith in the eyes because he knows if he does, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what comes after.
"Yeah, sure, man," Lance whispers, setting his books down on his nightstand, not daring to look back. He crawls into bed and slides under the covers. Keith gets in next to him, pressing his cheek into the corner of Lance's pillow. Lance lays a hand around his body like its instinct because it is. There have been countless nights where one or the other has a dream and wakes up in tears or flat out cannot sleep, and their solution is to always find comfort in each other. It's normally a regular mundane thing that Lance is used to.
Tonight, however, Lance holds Keith, focuses on the steady rhythm of his breathing, the distant sounds of birds flying around the castle, and for once, cannot fall asleep. He's so focused on the fact that this is Keith, his best friend, a boy, and he's holding him, he's holding him like he has so many times before. But this is different. The weight in his stomach is replaced with something else, with a million little butterflies instead of heavy rock.
This, Lance thinks,is exactly where I'm meant to be.
The next morning all rational thought the night before is thrown out the window. He thought about Keith, his best friend, romantically. And that scares him, no, it terrifies him. He's already messed up their friendship once before he can't do it again. He can just imagine the mortified look on Keith's face if he were to ever confront him about his new and confusing feelings. He doesn't want to ruin their friendship again. So he doesn't say anything. He treats this new revelation as nothing out of the ordinary. Walks to classes with him, ignoring the urge to grab his hand and hold it, studies for their N.E.W.T.S in the library, practices quidditch, holds him tightly in the midst of his nightmares, reassures him when his parents send a letter threatening to disown him if he keeps "following" in Shiro's footsteps.
This works until winter approaches. Sheets of white cover the entire campus and the lake is frozen solid like a flat mirror. Everyone bundles up in extra layers to walk the school. Keith latches onto Lance in the cold, as if a boy from Cuba—where there is no winter—could provide any warmth whatsoever. He brings extra blankets when he settles in next to Lance with every passing night.
And it's becoming harder to resist the small urges Lance gets daily. Urges that have grown into wanting to plant a kiss on Keith's cheek or forehead or jaw when they wake up or just flat out wanting to kiss him during the most random parts of the day. He's so convinced that he's let his secret slip, that somehow Keith knows he has feelings for him, that he just isn't saying anything because he doesn't want to bring up Lance's heartbreak to his face and damage what they've rekindled.
Winter break is around the corner and Keith is spending it with the McClain's this year because the two weren't on speaking terms last Christmas and Mrs.McClain insisted he come this year now that things were back to normal. God knows how Lance is supposed to act when Keith is going to be in his house every single day until they return to school.
He thinks maybe he should confide in someone about this. He wants to ask Pidge or Hunk, but discussion of this topic seems more suitable for someone else.
Lance pulls out a quill and ink during lunch one day when Keith and Hunk have their Herbology final and everyone else is studying in the library. It's very rare to have silence while he eats or works. So he takes advantage of it. He gets to writing as fast as possible. "Dear Veronica," he starts, soon finding himself unable to put the quill down because the words just keep flowing out of his head and onto the paper and he has so much to tell her. He finishes the letter with a "Te Quiero mucho" and scurries off to his room to give the finished letter to Berto to deliver.
"What was that about?" Keith asks, nearly causing Lance's very soul to jump out of his body.
"Don't scare me like that! I had no idea you were in here!" Lance shouts, clutching onto his shirt right over his heart.
"That's the point, dumbass," Keith says, not bothering to look up from his book. Typical.
"You're the dumbass!" Lance retorts, giving Keith's leg a little shove.
"And you're the dumbass who's going to get himself hurt." He kicks Lance playfully.
"Speak for yourself!" Lance cries out, nearly pushing Keith off his bed. That's when he knows things are about to go south fast. Keith grabs a hold of Lance's shirt, even has the time to knot up the fabric between his fingers, and pushes him towards the next bed over. He lands on it with a thud.
"Oh, it's on, Kogane." Lance stands up, jumping onto Keith's bed, grabbing his arms and holding them above his head.
"Think again, McClain," Keith says, voice filled with determination. He kicks Lance's feet from out under, sending him flying to the bed. That's when he makes a move. He rotates himself within a moment to ensure he's winning. He holds Lance by the wrists above his head. He even goes the extra length to sit atop of Lance's stomach to ensure he won't be judo-flipping him for payback.
Their ragged breathing stops and everything is silent. Not even the smallest of animals is making a sound and Lance could hear a pin drop with certainty. Lance looks up at Keith. At his long hair that currently shades his face in a thick black curtain. At the small smirk playing at the edge of his mouth. At his brows furrowed in concentration. At his eyes, now filled with more joy than the last year.
I want to kiss that mouth, Lance thinks. And he almost does.
Just as Lance thinks Keith is going to lean down and actually kiss him, a dormmate comes barging into their room. "Lance, I—uh—" The look of horror on his face probably matches the expression the other two boys in the room share. "Where's your extra bludger?" Lance scrambles to his feet faster than he can say felix felicis, adjusting his collar and top.
"Actually I—I think I'll come down and practice with you." He hands him the ball, face practically boiling up with embarrassment.
"Sounds good." James says "Keith you wanna come with?" Keith hesitates, now jumping to his feet.
"Nah. You two go on ahead, I have to study in the library for a bit."
"Okay well if you change your mind, you know where we'll be." James walks out and Lance follows, refusing to look back at Keith or meet his eyes.
They don't talk about that day. It's as if it never happened in the first place. The quidditch season continues with ease, Gryffindor winning almost every game thanks to Keith's incredible seeking talent. Lance still goes to Keith's bed in the middle of the night when he wakes with nightmares and vice versa. They hang out in the courtyard with Pidge and Hunk most days, but when the two of them spend time alone, things are always slightly off.
When they head to the McClain household at the start of break, things don't feel any better. Lance's mom treats Keith like he's been in the family for years. His siblings tease Lance when he's alone, especially Veronica, whom Lance needs to have a word with about keeping her gossiping mouth shut. His niece and nephew ask Lance why he didn't tell them about his boyfriend to which Lance responds with an unconvincing "Keith? My boyfriend? No no no, we're best friends." and vows to have both of them coughing up bubbles for the next week if they say anything else about the matter.
The McClain house is packed to the brim with people on a normal day so around the holiday season it's like trying to stuff a house filled with a dozen or so crazy latinos (and a Korean) into a sardine can. Which is why Lance ends up having to share his bedroom with his brother Marco, an uninviting change from having his own bed at Hogwarts.
Veronica talks to him one night on the front porch when everyone's asleep.
"If you like him, I think you should tell him how you feel." She says, folding her legs over one another in her chair. "Even if you don't think he feels the same way, it's better to get it off your chest."
Lance bites down on the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh. "He definitely doesn't, Vero."
Veronica shoots him a look of disbelief. Lance knows that look, it's the same one she gives whenever their mother says she isn't pretty out loud or whenever Luis argues that he's not a good enough father. The same look Lance gives Keith when he tells him he has doubts.
She doesn't say any more, just lets Lance soak in the words she doesn't have to say.
"Hey, Ronnie." Someone opens the front door a crack. Acxa. "You coming to bed?"
"Soon, babe. Just finishing up lecturing Lance over here on love," Veronica says, looking back at her girlfriend standing in the doorway like she's the most magnificent woman she's ever seen.
"Lecturing on love? Maybe I could give some advice of my own." She says, taking the empty seat next to her girlfriend. Lance groans. It's not that he doesn't want Acxa here, he loves her dearly. He just doesn't need to hear from yet another person that he should tell Keith how he feels because that's the very last thing he wants to do.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship." Lance sighs, rubbing his temples in frustration.
"You know I was afraid of messing up my friendship with your sister," Acxa says, which immediately catches Lance's attention.
"You were?" Lance says.
"You were?" Veronica repeats.
Acxa nods. "I thought telling her how I feel would ruin everything." she smiles and takes Veronica's hand. "Luckily it didn't."
"You should tell Keith how you feel, hermano," Veronica says, giving Acxa's hand a squeeze, running her thumb across the back of her hand. "The worst that could happen is that you take some time away from each other. You guys have such a solid relationship I don't think this will destroy your bond like you think it will."
Instead of listening to his sister and his sister's girlfriend, he does the exact opposite, distancing himself from Keith. It's hard but he does it. When Keith puts his head in Lance's lap, he doesn't run his fingers through his hair. When they go back to Hogwarts and the grounds are covered in sheets of white, he doesn't nuzzle himself into Keith's side for warmth. When he has nightmares, he resists the urge to slide into Keith's bed, to press his cheek into the top of his head and imagine himself back at home on the beach, where the nightmares can't touch him.
It seems no matter how hard he tries to put up a wall between Keith and him, Keith finds a way to tear it down and then some. He presses himself against Lance between classes in the cold, kicks his legs out over Lance's when they're on the couch in the common room studying, reaches for Lance's hand in the middle of the night when he thinks Lance isn't awake to hear his sobs or feel his trembling against his body.
He keeps this up until he can't any longer. Until he's about to burst with pent up emotions because it's either telling Keith how he feels or ending their friendship. Every time Keith lays a hand anywhere on him, he wants to hide himself away because he can't be the idiot who falls for his best friend, he refuses to be that person who gets rejected and ruins his most valued friendship.
One day after classes and quidditch practice, Keith asks Lance if he wants to study for their upcoming Transfigurations test out in the field where they can practice without interruptions or anyone running into them wondering why they're playing with ten fire breathing kittens. Lance tries to get out of it, but Keith is persistent.
"Cmon, Lance. I know you need the extra practice, I need it too." Keith says, tugging on Lance's arm like a child in a candy shop.
"I can't," Lance mutters, staring down at his arm trapped in a death grip, wishing his eyes could shoot lasers so he could get Keith off and hide away in his bed, in the dining hall, anywhere that doesn't contain a single bad haircut or brooding pout.
"We just finished practice, you literally have nothing else to do." Keith tugs his arm again, this time with more emphasis as he says, "Please."
"I said I can't." Lance sneers, pulling his arm away and walking away towards the nearest entrance back to school.
"Lance? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Keith catches up with him, placing a hand on his shoulder, his eyes filled with worry.
"What's wrong? What's wrong," Lance laughs hysterically "Oh I'll tell you what's wrong." He stops walking and faces Keith. Lance didn't prepare what he would say, were the moment to arise when he could no longer keep his best friend in the dark about his not-so-fortunate long developed crush. Which is why he doesn't act in a rational manner.
"You're what's wrong." He jabs a finger at him, not aware of how angry he sounds "You with your stupid mullet and your stupid perfect teeth and perfect grades and perfect face. I can't stand it anymore. I can't look at you without wanting to either spontaneously combust or strangle you. Why? I don't know. But what I do know is that this has to stop. You have to stop."
"Stop what?" Keith asks, sounding more scared than Lance thinks he's ever heard before.
"This!" He gestures between them "The shoulder touching, the hair petting, the hand holding. It has to stop. It's messing with my brain and not in a good way."
"Lance," Keith hesitates before speaking again "What has to stop exactly? What's messing with your brain?"
"You! You have to stop messing with my brain! It's like one moment I want to hold onto our friendship for the rest of my life and the next I'm watching you sleep with your hair all in your face looking like a literal angel and I don't know what I want. Actually no scratch that. I know exactly what I want." And just like that, Lance unfolds his most carefully guarded secret to the one person he vowed he would never tell.
"Which is?" Keith asks, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, the word. The words escape his lips in slow motion, as if time and space have folded and every passing second feels like an eternity. When Lance does respond, time resumes.
"I want you, Keith." He exhales sharply and it's like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. "I have for a long time now. I know that you're gay and I'm not, at least I didn't think I was until now. I know that I just royally fucked up our friendship by telling you this but I just couldn't keep it in any longer. I needed you to know so that you could stop all this touching and closeness because it's driving me insane." He breathes heavily once he finishes his monologue.
The silence that follows is probably the most uncomfortable and long experience he's ever had. The words "I want you" linger in the air with a foul stench and a bitter taste on Lance's tongue.
"Keith," Lance feels the waterworks coming but he holds it together because he knows once he's alone he can let it all out until his tear ducts dry out like the water on a hot summer day in Cuba. "I-I am so sorry—" His words are captured by a pair of lips. Keith's lips. Keith's lips are on Lance's, and he initiated it. Lance doesn't know what to think.
"Keith?" Lance jerks himself backward, staring like he's just seen his ghost. He looks at Keith. His pupils are blown wide and his lips are parted slightly in a way that makes Lance want to sink into his shoes because he was just kissing those lips, those lips were just connected to his own and it felt like the last two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle connecting.
"I want you too, Lance. I have since the day I met you and not a day has passed when I haven't thought about how this scenario would play out." is all Keith says before Lance is kissing those lips again, and again, and before he knows it, the sun has almost set. It's like the world stops spinning in moments like this. He feels like his lips have been kissing Keith's for an eternity but he doesn't even care because he'd kiss Keith's rosy lips for two.
It's a surreal experience, kissing the person you believe you were destined to be with. And it's all Lance has wanted since he met Keith too.
They hold hands all the way to their dormitory. Conversation ensues about what in the hell just happened out there, how a simple argument about studying turned into a confession and makeout session—something the pair would laugh about well into their future.
"Does this mean we're boyfriends now?" Keith asks, looking at Lance with a soft expression.
"Slow your roll there, mullet," Lance gives Keith's hand a little squeeze, the same way he's seen his sister take her girlfriend's "Ask me out on a date before you go claiming us as an item." That makes both of them laugh.
"Asshole." Keith punches Lance's shoulder instinctively. "How about after the Hufflepuff game this weekend?" Keith suggests. Lance agrees by planting a quick kiss to his lips. It's amazing how easily the two of them shifted from friendship to romantic partners within a matter of minutes, and even more amazing how their dynamic remained exactly the same—minus ending arguments with swollen lips instead of bruised limbs.
They enter their seventh year together as boyfriends. Lance is Head Boy, and Keith is a Prefect, despite his complete opposition to it at first. They take their N.E.W.T.S and pass with ease. They're both going into Ministry work which means they'll be spending a lot more time together as Aurors. They win the Quidditch cup, no surprise there. Instead of visiting either of their families for winter break, Keith and Lance take a trip to Bulgaria to watch a professional Quidditch match, and then to Rome, where Lance insists they take a romantic gondola ride down the Tiber and commemorate the first time Lance told Keith to 'go shove you and your ugly hair into the depths of the Tiber and never return' once when they were twelve.
They graduate Hogwarts and return home for the summer, which happens to be in the new apartment they purchased together just inside of London. The two boys with chubby cheeks and arrogant attitudes have turned into two men who would do anything and everything for another, but deep down they both know even in their first days at school, they'd have taken a bullet for each other without question.
"Keith?" Lance says from his seat on the couch.
"Mhm?" Keith returns from the kitchen with two glasses filled to the brim with enchanted coffee.
"I love you." He says, threading his fingers into Keith's long hair when he takes a seat next to Lance. And he means it. He loves Keith with every fiber in his body. He always means it.
Keith shakes his head with a laugh. He kisses Lance with just as much passion and love as the first time back at Hogwarts and hands a mug to him.
"I love you too."