Chapter Text
Jennie comes home 16 years after she leaves it.
She’s been back for summer and Christmas vacations, for holidays, birthdays, and emergencies, but never permanently and never longer than three months.
Until now.
She could tell you a bevy of reasons for coming home: Seolhyun’s accident (which scared Jennie shitless even if the worst injury Seol suffered was a minor concussion); Kwon Jiyong, Jennie’s childhood hero and chief of design of their company, offering to take her under his team; getting sick of New York and its streets; getting sick of trying to fit herself into a city which she loves but which will never be home.
Seoul is home and Jennie is tired of running away from it, of wandering around places which are beautiful but aren’t hers.
So she resigns from her job (which she really doesn’t need to do since she works for her father’s company anyway), packs the important things from her Fifth Avenue apartment, allows her New York friends to throw a going-away party for her, and books a one way ticket to her home city.
A month later she’s back in Seoul, with five large Rimowa suitcases on her new bedroom floor and a clean, finally-organized room and walk-in closet.
The clock on her bedside table says 2:18 am.
She runs her hand through her already messy hair and tries to ignore the headache she can feel forming between her eyes, no doubt a result of the jetlag from the 14.5-hour flight from New York to Seoul.
She takes in the white walls, the rose-colored linens on the bed, the fresh flowers on the vanity (courtesy of Chahee, Jennie notes with a smile), and lets out an exhausted sigh.
It’s so different from her brownstone apartment in New York, and Jennie thinks that it’s not so bad.
She plops down on the bed, glad that she brushed her teeth and washed her face an hour ago, and drifts off to a dreamless sleep a few minutes later.
―
She wakes up to the smell of slightly burnt toast and coffee, and for a split second or two she thinks she’s back in her apartment in New York. She half-waits for the sound of cars honking down the street, for Dua to call out that breakfast is ready, for her 7 am alarm to sound off.
She finds Jisoo in her kitchen a few minutes later, wearing a bright pink apron and trying valiantly to salvage what appears to be an omelette. There’s a stack of toast (some look fine, some look burnt, and one looks... very burnt) on one plate and slices of banana bread on another. “Jisoo unnie?”
Jisoo greets her with a wide, blinding smile, the one that made everyone throw themselves at her feet, the one that made Jennie desperately want to be her friend when they were five-year old kindergarteners. “Good morning. I knew you were still asleep so let myself in.” Jisoo points to an electric blue key lying on the marble kitchen counter. “I had a spare key made after Nayeon and I made the reservation for the unit.”
Jennie nods because that’s an acceptable explanation as far as Jisoo is concerned and she is making Jennie some breakfast. She pokes Jisoo’s sides and shoos her away from the pan to take over cooking the unfortunate egg. They’re quiet for a few minutes as Jennie finishes cooking and plating the omelette, the silence disturbed only by Jisoo making frustrated noises as she sorts through the stack of toast.
Jennie gets a fork, takes a small bite of the omelette, and immediately spits it out on the sink. “Unnie, what the fuck. Did you put the whole salt shaker in here?”
“Oh. I think my hand may have slipped a bit,” Jisoo smiles sheepishly. She points at the plate of banana bread. “I made banana bread, though.”
Jennie raises an eyebrow.
Jisoo rolls her eyes and dumps three burnt toasts in the trash. “Fine. I bought them from the bakery downstairs, Miss I-can-make-macarons-from-scratch. They’re really good.” Jisoo gets her coffee and places herself on one of the stools in the breakfast bar. “Anyway, how’s the jetlag?”
“Terrible,” Jennie says as she pours herself some coffee from the coffee maker. At least Jisoo knows how to make coffee. “I was so tired last night but I couldn’t sleep so I unpacked and organized my room and the walk-in. I slept at half past two.”
“You still have that dinner with your father and Seol unnie tonight right?” Jisoo asks, concern lacing her voice.
Jennie nods absently, putting some sugar and cream in her coffee. “Yeah,” she answers shortly.
“You should rest today then,” Jisoo looks at her sympathetically, all too aware of Jennie’s relationship with her father. “We can watch Netflix, you can pass out two episodes into Queer Eye, we can order take out for lunch, I can help you choose what to wear for tonight.”
Jennie smiles and pulls up a bar stool next to Jisoo. “That sounds great.”
Jisoo taps the side of her own cup, leans a bit closer, then pinches Jennie’s cheek.
“Stop,” Jennie giggles, halfheartedly trying to swat Jisoo’s hand away, and she would be lying if she said this isn’t one of the reasons she came back to Seoul - her best friend annoying her while taking care of her at the same time, giving her that smile that has comforted her since she was five.
They didn’t grow up together, not really, but they are best friends in spite and because of everything and Jennie is grateful - grateful that they grew up but didn’t grow apart, grateful that Jisoo never resented her for not calling more or coming home sooner, grateful that Jisoo seems as grateful as she is for their friendship.
Jisoo stops her assault on Jennie’s cheeks and reaches for a slice of banana bread. “It’s pretty cool that you’re back, Jennie,” she says, her eyes intently focused on her food and stubbornly refusing to meet Jennie’s.
Jennie can’t help but smile. She bumps her and Jisoo’s shoulders together and takes another sip of her coffee. “I missed you too, unnie.”
―
Dinner, as it has always been in the Kim household since Jennie was eight, is awkward.
Jennie spends the night picking at her half-eaten dinner (salmon and asparagus, pretentious food for their pretentious family), grunting out one-word answers to her father’s questions, and ignoring his disappointed glares.
It’s not as if she’s been like this forever. She’s tried once upon a time - tried to what, she’s not sure. To regain her father’s attention, maybe? Regain his approval, his affection? She was a child then, and all she wanted to know was why her father can barely look at her anymore.
She started trying when she was a child who just lost her mother, and her father responded by shipping her off to New Zealand a few months later.
Jennie gave up trying years ago.
The dinner started off fine. Bland, but fine which Jennie thinks is a step up from the shouting matches over the dinner table they’ve had in the past.
Then her dad brings up Jiyong and the design team and then Jongin of all people, and the night only gets worse from there, Seolhyun’s efforts to make decent conversation and ease the tension notwithstanding.
Her father answers a phone call in the middle of dinner and goes back to the office without saying goodbye, and that was that.
Seolhyun finds her later in her childhood bedroom, her feet bare on the soft periwinkle carpet, taking in the stuffed toys on her bed, the deflated netball sitting sad and lonely in one corner, the framed The Lion King Broadway poster on the wall, and the old ballet slippers she recovered from under the bed.
(Jennie remembers, with vivid clarity, ballet recitals with both her parents watching. She remembers her mother’s proud smile, her appa holding a bouquet of flowers as he claps, and them taking her, Jongin, and Mina out for ice cream after).
Seolhyun doesn’t say anything, she’s never forced Jennie to talk, but she holds her little sister like she did when they were children, and Jennie lets her.
―
Jennie calls Mina the next night and greets her a happy birthday. They talk for almost three hours about Seoul and New York and Osaka, about seeing Giselle later that year, about the Gucci scarf Jennie sent as a gift, about Mina’s new video game obsessions, about Jennie’s new job and Mina’s one-year old nephew.
She doesn’t tell Mina about the dinner, doesn’t ask her if she remembers those recitals as well, doesn’t talk about the milk ice creams and pink carnations of their past.
―
Jisoo invites her to a friend’s birthday party that weekend.
“There won’t be that many people,” Jisoo says. “Just Lisa’s close friends.”
“But I’m not her close friend.”
Jisoo shrugs. “You’re my close friend.”
Jennie is reluctant but she says yes anyway and brings a bottle of Dom Pérignon with her, just to be polite.
―
The birthday girl, Lisa, isn’t around the apartment when she and Jisoo get there.
“I think she went out to talk to her mom,” Seulgi, Lisa’s best friend and roommate, says as she puts the champagne Jennie handed over on an ice bucket.
Jisoo nods and drags Jennie over to the lounge to introduce Jennie to the others.
It’s a whole half an hour later and Jennie has a cat named Leo following her around when a blonde girl walks through the door, windswept and red-cheeked in her denim jacket and black jeans.
“Happy birthday, Lalisa!” Jisoo squeals happily as nearly tackles the blonde girl in a hug.
The girl whines but returns Jisoo’s hug fiercely, allows Jisoo to place a quick peck on her cheek. “Jisoo unnie.”
Jisoo pulls away and drags Lisa to Jennie. “Jennie, this is Lisa the birthday girl. Lisa, this is Jennie, my best friend. She just got here from New York a few days ago”
Jennie holds out her hand. “Happy birthday, Lisa. Nice to meet you.”
Lisa sways a bit but gamely shakes her proffered hand. Her hands are soft but a bit cold from the early spring air, and Jennie notes her glassy, red-rimmed eyes and the poorly-concealed dark circles under them, her brittle smile. There’s a silver flask tucked in her jacket pocket. She is clearly some kind of tipsy and all kinds of brooding, and Jennie is concerned.
And a bit intrigued if she’s being totally honest.
No one should be that sad on their birthday.
Lisa’s voice is soft, almost shy. “Thank you, Jennie. And the pleasure’s all mine.”
―
Jennie somehow gets roped into doing body shots with Jisoo and some of Lisa’s other friends, Ten, Jeongyeon, Minnie, and Lucas. Seulgi, Bambam, Taeyong, and Yeri are in the kitchen, embroiled in another intense round of beer pong.
It’s all very sophomore year of college, really, but Jennie supposes it won’t hurt to have a bit of juvenile fun before she starts work on Monday.
Lisa is on the couch, nursing the bottle of beer which is all Seulgi would give her after her third glass of whiskey and coke and her second shot of Jagermeister. She’s quietly observing them with an amused, drunken grin on her face, her fingers loose on the neck of her bottle.
Jennie feels Lisa’s eyes specifically on her at one point, and Jennie doesn’t know if it’s just the alcohol but the attention burns and makes her feel sticky, makes her pull Jeongyeon closer by her bright blue hair as the other girl licks a stripe of salt off her neck.
Jennie laughs when Jeongyeon licks a little longer than she should, and Ten and Jisoo hoot and whistle drunkenly.
When Jennie looks up, Lisa is gone and a half-empty bottle of beer sits abandoned on the table.
―
She stumbles later to the small back porch to get some air, and there, she finds Lisa on a rocking chair, cradling the nearly empty bottle of Dom Pérignon they opened before cutting the cake.
“Oh. Hello,” Jennie greets dumbly.
She has half a mind to just go back inside and leave Lisa alone but other girl grins goofily and waves the bottle rather unsteadily at her. “Hello. I drank the rest of the champagne.”
“I can see that.”
Lisa takes a swig of the bottle, her wide, doe eyes never leaving Jennie’s. A tongue peeks out to catch a stray drop of champagne on Lisa’s bottom lip, and Jennie is too drunk to realize that she should probably not stare.
“Do you want some?”
Jennie shakes her head and it feels like the floor moves underneath her. She clears her throat, steadies herself on the back a wicker chair near the door. “No, thank you. There’s not enough for the both of us and it’s probably not a good idea for me to drink more anyway.”
Lisa chuckles. “Right. Thanks for the excellent champagne by the way.”
She turns her head a bit, glances down at the phone on her lap, and Jennie is struck by her profile - sharp, pale in the moonlight, and Jennie’s breath catches in her throat.
Jennie blinks once and Lisa is looking at her again.
If Jennie was a lot more sober she would’ve gone inside by now, but she isn’t so she walks over to the vacant seat next to the other girl and ignores her rolling stomach and clammy hands. “Everyone deserves good champagne on their birthday.”
Lisa hums in agreement, tips the bottle back to finish off the champagne, and they sit quietly on that porch for what seems like hours, the only sounds the muffled laughters of Bambam and Yeri, the stern voice of Seulgi as she berates a wholly inebriated Lucas, Lisa’s fingers drumming against the screen of her phone, and, to Jennie’s ears, the quick pitter-patter of her heart in her chest.
―
“Lisa,” Jennie says later as an Uber drives her and Jisoo to her apartment. Jisoo’s head is on her lap and Jennie’s fingers are threaded through her hair. “She’s sad.”
It’s a statement, not a question and Jisoo shifts and looks up at Jennie with a serious look on face. “She’s trying, Jennie,” Jisoo says quietly.
Jennie nods, leans her head on the cool glass of the window, and doesn’t say anything anymore for the rest of the drive home.
―
It’s almost noon when Jennie and Jisoo wake up the next day, both with pounding headaches and smelling of tequila and sweat. They shower, try not to throw up, down some aspirin, order take out they barely eat, and sleep again on the couch a few minutes after Jisoo puts on Mulan.
Junmyeon picks up a grumpy, hungover Jisoo at around two and Jennie spends the rest of the afternoon finishing Mulan, washing her sheets, and sketching some designs which she can show Jiyong.
She gets a message from an unknown number after dinner.
‘hi jennie. i just wanted to thank you for coming to my party. i got your number from jisoo btw, if you don’t mind. - lisa’
Jennie smiles, then taps out a reply.
‘no problem, thank you for having me. i had a lot of fun :)’
―
It’s almost two weeks after the party and Jennie finds herself outside Jisoo’s door, wanting nothing more than to just to lie back in her best friend’s annoyingly comfortable couch while they eat take out and drink good red wine.
Jiyong has been demanding - great, but demanding and Jennie’s enjoying her work but it’s Friday and she’s exhausted.
She rings the doorbell once, twice, hears footsteps approaching before she can ring it a third time.
The door opens.
Jennie blinks.
“Jennie.”
It’s Lisa standing on the doorway, long blonde hair a bit messy and wearing a forest green turtleneck, jeans, and a pair of those fluffy slippers that Jisoo keeps around her apartment. She looks so warm and comfortable and attractive that it takes Jennie two seconds to find her voice.
“Lisa?”
Lisa gives her a warm smile and opens the door wider for her. “Hey. Come in.”
Jennie does and Dalgom immediately runs to her and greets her with a happy bark. She humors him with a few scratches under his chin and behind his ears, and the way he wags his tail happily makes her think that maybe she should get a dog of her own. “Dalgom, how have you been?”
Lisa laughs beside her. “He missed you, I think.”
“Bet he did.” Jennie smiles as she lets Dalgom trot off back to his food. “Where’s Jisoo?”
Lisa’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “She didn’t tell you?”
Jennie’s answer is a blank stare.
“She went to the hospital. Junmyeon had a basketball accident. She left almost an hour ago and asked me to stay here with Dalgom.”
Jennie reaches for her phone inside her handbag. She ignores all the other messages and calls and opens Jisoo’s text.
“Shit. I completely ignored my phone for hours.”
‘I’m at Seoul General right now. Junmyeon is an idiot and got injured trying to dunk on Chanyeol lmao’
She types out a reply asking Jisoo to keep her updated and turns back to Lisa. The other girl has this strange look in her eyes and Jennie forgets what she was about to say.
“Um. I was just about to order some take out before you came. Would you like to stay for dinner?” the blonde girl asks rather shyly.
Jennie gapes at her.
“Unless you’re busy or have other plans, of course. In which case, feel free to refuse my invitation.”
“No, no,” Jennie says hastily, smiling now. Lisa is adorable. “I’d love to stay for dinner.”
―
They order some take out, open a Pinot Noir, and settle on the sofa with Animal Planet playing on Jisoo’s huge television.
Lisa starts off a bit quiet but quickly warms up to Jennie and tells the other girl stories about her job (‘I had a magazine shoot in Japan - Jisoo picked me up from the airport this afternoon’) and makes her laugh. She laughs too, free and loud and sincere, at Jennie’s poor attempts at humor - this warm, melodic sound that reminds Jennie of bright summer days, that she wants to keep close to her chest for her bad days. She teases Jennie about her job (‘You designed my phone!’ ‘I didn’t. I’ll design your next phone’), complains about how Leo hates her and tells her about wanting to adopt a new cat.
Jennie tells her about New York - about the Met, and college at Columbia, and Broadway, and how she got food poisoning once from a hotdog stall. Lisa notices her blazer, hanging on the back of the sofa, and they talk about that too (‘Jesus Christ, that’s a vintage Chanel’). She tells her about Srinagar, and Vienna, and Antwerp and Santorini (‘just this year, for New Year’s - I was alone’), and Paris (‘my favorite city on earth, Lisa’), her two semesters in London, her summer in Barcelona.
Lisa tells her about Bangkok, and growing up in her father’s restaurants. She tells her about photography and dancing, about her growing collection of cameras and her childhood hip-hop crew.
Her eyes are bright and animated and Jennie can’t stop looking at them, can’t stop looking at her.
Lisa is beautiful and Jennie is in trouble.
“I’m sorry, by the way,” Lisa says after they put away all the leftovers. She isn’t looking at Jennie, her eyes focused on the swirl of red wine inside the glass.
Jennie leans back on the sofa with her own glass of wine. It’s both their third glass and Jennie is warm and sleepy. “For what?”
“The party,” Lisa says quietly. “I knew I wasn’t a very good host.”
“It was your birthday. You deserved to get drunk.”
Lisa snorts and looks up. “It wasn’t just that... it was... I don’t know. I was a wet blanket, kinda. I barely talked. Jisoo and Seulgi and the others are used to it by now, but you’re not, so.”
Jennie shakes her head. “No, no. It’s fine. No need to apologize. But, full disclosure, when we were on our way home, I told Jisoo you were sad.”
“You did? What did she say?”
“That you were trying.”
Lisa shrugs, a sad smile on her face. “I guess I am.”
“Why are you sad?” She regrets asking the question as soon as the words leave her mouth. “Shit, sorry. You don’t have to answer that. We barely know each other.”
Lisa empties her glass. “Bad break-up. That was... that was my first birthday without her in years.”
“Oh.”
Jennie downs the rest of her wine as well. “Do you still love them?”
“Yes. I still love her very much.”
Jennie tries not to let that break her heart too much. She barely knows this girl.
She wishes she had more wine.
“Oh.” She can’t help herself. “What’s her name?”
“Chaeyoung,” Lisa answers, and it sounds like she’s just getting used to saying her name again.
Jennie looks at her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Lisa sighs. “Sometimes things just... don’t work out, I guess.”
Jennie nods. Lisa’s phone rings. She stands up.
“I have to take this. It’s Jisoo.”
“Right, of course.”
Lisa goes to the kitchen. Jennie closes her eyes and tries not to think about the conversation she and Lisa just had.
She falls asleep to the sound of Lisa’s voice, soft and soothing, to her light footfalls pacing the kitchen.
―
Jennie wakes up to the door opening. She’s still in the sofa but there’s a blanket thrown over her and a pillow underneath her head. There’s a book on the coffee table that she doesn’t remember being there before she fell asleep.
“Jennie?”
It’s Jisoo. “In here.” Jennie sits up and rubs at her eyes, feeling a slight pounding at her temples.
Jisoo appears at the entrance of the living room, looking tired but otherwise fine. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” Jennie answers sleepily. “How’s your boyfriend?”
Jisoo rolls her eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Yet.”
Jisoo clicks her tongue. “He’s an idiot and got himself a sprained knee but he’s fine. The doctor says he’s lucky he didn’t tear his MCL, whatever that is.”
Jennie yawns. “That’s good.”
“Anyway, I heard you had a sleepover,” Jisoo says with an inscrutable look on her face. Jennie doesn’t like it.
“We had dinner. I fell asleep. That’s hardly a sleepover,” Jennie scoffs. “Where is Lisa by the way?”
“She left a few hours ago, I think. She has a shoot this morning.”
“Right,” Jennie nods. “What time is it?”
“Almost eight.”
Jennie reaches for her blazer, now folded neatly on the arm of the sofa, and puts it back on. “Wanna get some breakfast?”
―
Jennie spends almost the entirety of the next three weeks in the office drafting designs, making prototypes, attending meetings, and observing Jiyong. She catches up with her friends (Nayeon, Chahee, and Joohyun mostly), and hangs out with Jisoo or Seolhyun whenever she has the time.
She has dinner with Jongin once. They mostly talk about Mina and it is not the awkward disaster she expected it to be.
She visits her mom and brings a vase of lilies and carnations. She stays for an hour and only thinks of going home when it starts drizzling and she realizes that she didn’t bring an umbrella.
She goes to a bar one Saturday in this beautiful Derek Lam dress she bought on a whim and goes home with a girl. She makes the girl some breakfast the next morning because she has manners and the girl, Minyoung, is perfectly nice. She sends Minyoung off in an Uber, throws away the piece of paper with her number, and barely thinks of Lisa.
―
It’s a Tuesday and Jennie is on her way out of the company’s building to buy some lunch when she sees Lisa sitting on one of the couches in the lobby, busy reading a magazine.
Jennie is still debating whether or not she should say hi when she realizes that her traitorous feet are already leading her where Lisa is seated.
“Lisa?”
The blonde girl looks up from her magazine, her eyes widening when she sees Jennie. She stands up and drops the magazine on the chair. “Jennie, hey! I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You have?”
“Yeah. I have a shoot on the building across the street until this afternoon,” Lisa nods. Jennie notices that other girl has more makeup than usual and her hair is pin-straight instead of its usual wavy. “I know you work here so I went here to wait for you and see if you would like to get some lunch.”
Jennie smirks. “And you didn’t think of texting me instead of waiting here?”
“Well,” Lisa says sheepishly. “I didn’t mind waiting. I wanted to surprise you. Which didn’t work, clearly, because you found me first. I really should’ve texted you beforehand. You don’t have lunch plans, do you?”
Jennie shakes her head. Jiyong is out and Seolhyun has a working lunch with some investors. “No, not really. I was just about to buy some food then have lunch with the team upstairs.”
Lisa grins and offers her arm to Jennie. “Then let’s go?”
―
Lisa takes her to this ramen place twenty minutes away. She lets Lisa tell her about the shoot (for an up-and-coming local urban wear brand), about her new camera, about going to a friend’s friend house next week to pick up her new kitten.
“I’m still thinking of a name,” Lisa smiles. She pushes her almost-empty ramen bowl away and rolls her chopsticks between her thumb and forefinger. “Probably something that starts with ‘L’ too.”
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Boy.”
Jennie thinks for a second. “Lionel.”
Lisa shakes her head. “Too close to Leo. I don’t want it to have an inferiority complex.”
Jennie laughs. “Lawrence?”
“No. That’s not a name for a cat.”
“Lincoln? Lancelot? Link?”
“No to all three.”
“Lisa Junior.”
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Lisa scoffs.
Jennie smiles and finishes the last of her iced tea. “Logan? Ludwig? Lannister? Lucius?” she suggests.
Lisa laughs and shakes her head. “I am not naming my kitten after a Death Eater.”
“How about Lennie? It’s like... Jennie. But with an L.”
Lisa raises an eyebrow. “I see that. Interesting suggestion but...I’m gonna have to say no.”
Jennie lets out an annoyed huff. Lisa giggles.
“Lucky?” Jennie tries again.
“Hmm, no.”
“Luca.”
Lisa pauses and considers the name for a moment. “Wait. That’s not bad. I like it.”
“See?” Jennie grins. “I’m a genius.”
“Yes, you are.” Lisa motions to the waitress for the check. “Would you like to come with me next week to pick him up?”
―
They spend most of the next few days together – dinner and drinks after work, going to Jisoo’s to play video games (Jennie and Jisoo play, Lisa just kind of watches and cheers for whoever’s winning), shopping for cat beds and toys, bowling with Ten and Seulgi, taking Leo to Jeongyeon who, it turns out, is Leo’s vet.
Jennie ignores the voice in her head telling her that it’s dangerous to spend this much time with someone this attractive and smart and kind and so emotionally unavailable.
They drive to Namsan that Sunday and spend the afternoon taking pictures and eating yogurt.
“She thought the view was pretty but I thought she was prettier,” Lisa says as she snaps a picture of an unsuspecting Jennie bathed by the sunset.
“Lisa, ew,” Jennie complains, rolling her eyes even if she’s trying not to blush. Lisa just cackles and takes more pictures of her.
Lisa sings Glee songs at full volume on the drive home and Jennie holds herself back: from holding Lisa’s hand over the center console, from inviting her inside when they get to her apartment, from kissing her goodbye.
―
Sometimes, they would pass a certain place, or hear a certain song, or Jennie would say something and Lisa would get quiet and contemplative.
Jennie understands - she understands memories attached to certain things and places, understands mourning what they meant once upon a time.
She doesn’t know if it’s for herself or for Lisa, but her heart breaks all the same.
―
“Jennie, he has your eyes.”
Lisa stares in wonder at the little kitten sitting peacefully in Jennie’s lap. They’re in Lisa and Seulgi’s apartment, driving straight there after picking up Luca in Sinchon-dong. “Look at him. He looks like you. It’s like you birthed him yourself.”
Jennie laughs quietly so as not to startle Lisa’s new cat. “Don’t be ridiculous, Lisa.”
“No, really. He even has your stare,” Lisa insists. “He’s beautiful, Jennie.”
Jennie tries not to think too much about the implications of that statement and points to the other cat sleeping on Lisa’s lap. “Leo might hear you and get jealous.”
Lisa rubs Leo’s head and smiles at the sleeping cat softly. “Leo knows he’s my baby boy.”
“Did you – ” Jennie pauses, wonders if she should ask questions about the woman Lisa is still so obviously hurting over. “Did you get him with your ex?”
“Who, Leo? No. I got him three months after Chaeyoung and I broke up.”
Jennie nods. She scratches Luca behind his ears, marvels at the soft fur there. He purrs and snuggles closer to Jennie’s hand.
“She and I were together for eight years,” Lisa says, still looking at Leo. “Our lives were so intertwined. Even now they still kind of are. Eight years together, that’s... that’s kind of difficult to undo. I got him because I guess I just wanted a part of my life that she hasn’t touched yet.”
Jennie shifts on the couch, careful not to jostle Luca. “Lisa... I’m sorry I asked.”
Lisa looks up. “It’s fine. Please don’t apologize,” Lisa says, putting a hand on Jennie’s knee and giving the other girl a reassuring smile. “I mean, she’s not my favorite subject but I can talk about her. If I was uncomfortable with the question I wouldn’t have answered it or elaborated on it.”
Jennie feels the warmth of Lisa’s hand seeping through her trousers and hates herself for liking it. She hates herself even more when Lisa pulls her hand away and she finds herself missing it. “Okay,” she says as she scoops Luca up and stands, eager to put some distance between her and Lisa to clear her head. “Should we see if Luca likes his new bed?”
―
Jisoo brings her lunch and complains about Junmyeon being a baby, even if Jennie and anyone with eyes can see that she likes babying him. Jennie asks a carefully-worded question about when she and Junmyeon are going to make things official. They’ve been at this will-they, won’t-they stage for a year now (Jennie knows they’ve had crushes on each other since they were teenagers but Jisoo will deny that) and Jennie just wants Jisoo to be in the stable and loving relationship she knows Junmyeon can give her.
Jisoo just brushes her off and basically tells her to mind her own business.
“We’re secure in whatever our relationship is. If it’s enough for us then it has to be enough for the people around us too,” Jisoo says in a tone that dares Jennie to say anything more. Jennie leaves it at that and reaches for another dumpling.
“Hey, by the way, Lisa told me you helped her pick Luca up,” Jisoo says later just as she’s about to leave.
“Yeah, I did.”
Jennie raises an eyebrow. “You’ve been spending a lot of time together.” Her tone is not disapproving per se, but it irritates Jennie a bit, makes her feel defensive.
“I guess,” Jennie shrugs, trying to be casual, even if she knows Jisoo will see right through her. “Where is this going, unnie?”
The older girl sighs. “You’re not dumb, Jennie. Just... be careful, okay?” Jisoo says and leaves before Jennie could say anything else.
―
She ignores Lisa’s texts for the next few days because Jisoo is right. She should be careful and spending so much time with Lisa is decidedly not being careful. She figures Lisa will just think she’s busy.
Jennie knows it’s not fair to the other girl, it’s not her fault Jennie has this stupid, silly, pointless... attraction. But this is the best Jennie can do for now.
She goes out again that Saturday. She wears this tight, Alexander Wang dress she brought over from New York, her favorite Louboutin pumps, the reddest shade of lipstick she owns, and her best Chanel perfume.
She looks so good and she knows it. She knows everyone knows it.
She heads straight to the bar, ignores the gaggle of people looking at her, and orders an Old Fashioned from the friendly, bright-haired bartender.
A tall brunette approaches her halfway to her second drink. She has this great, melodic voice and big smile that Jennie can’t help but be charmed. They’re on the dance floor a little later and the girl’s hands are all over her when Jennie sees a flash of blonde hair.
She knows it’s not Lisa, the hair length is all wrong and the shoulders aren’t as sharp, but she turns to the tall brunette anyway, kisses her hard and fast, and tells her to bring her home.
―
She wakes up in a strange bed.
The girl is still asleep, her breath hot on Jennie’s nape. She’s not a cuddler, thankfully, and Jennie is able to get up, get dressed, and slip away without any issue.
Her wristwatch says it’s 7:38 am. Her phone is dead.
Lisa is waiting for her on her stoop when she gets home, a brown paper bag and a coffee carrier beside her.
Jennie’s heart almost thuds out of her chest. Lisa should really stop showing up like this.
She’s obviously been on one of her runs, if her outfit is any indication - a windbreaker over her tank top, neon green shorts, black Flyknits. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and Jennie absently admires the long, elegant column of her neck, glistening in the morning sun with a bit of workout sweat.
“Hey,” Lisa says softly when Jennie approaches.
“Have you been here long?” Jennie asks.
“Fifteen minutes, probably,” Lisa replies with a shrug. “I tried calling you. I... I was in the area. Running. And I did some lunges while waiting for you. I brought pastries and coffee.”
Lisa doesn’t ask her where she’s been, it’s kind of already obvious, and Jennie doesn't know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, doesn’t know why she feels guilty and embarrassed. It’s not as if Lisa would care.
“I’m sorry, my phone died.” Jennie shifts on her heels and struggles to maintain eye contact.
“It’s okay. You’re here now,” Lisa says, getting up from where she’s seated. She dusts off her shorts and picks up the bag and coffee “Are you going to let me in?”
―
Jennie goes straight to the shower and leaves Lisa puttering about in the kitchen, looking for plates and rummaging through her fridge.
She turns the water as hot as her body can take and lets the heat of it turn her skin pink. She runs the soap all over her body twice, lathers up her loofa and scrubs herself with it twice too.
She thinks she cries but maybe it’s just the water from the shower.
When she comes out in her bathrobe, Lisa is just finishing cooking some eggs. “Hey. Let’s eat,” she says as she carefully puts scrambled eggs on two plates.
“Sorry I didn’t reply to your texts last week. I was busy,” Jennie says quietly as she pulls up a chair. Lisa slides her a plate and one of the cups from the carrier.
Lisa sits down next to Jennie and grabs her own cup. “Don’t worry about it, I know you’re perpetually inundated with meetings and whatnot,” Lisa says with an understanding smile. Jennie feels even more terrible. “Luca and Leo missed you though.”
Jennie stops herself from asking if Lisa missed her too because she is not a teenager with a high school crush.
She takes a sip of the coffee - Americano, with two pumps of vanilla and a bit of cream. It’s a bit cold from all that time outside, but she’s gratified to know that Lisa knows her order by now. “I miss them too. I’ll have to visit soon. How are they? How’s Luca adjusting?”
“Good, good,” Lisa says. “They fight sometimes because Luca is annoying and Leo likes his space but they’re practically best friends now. Luca likes curling up next to me when Seulgi and I are watching TV. Leo just... stares at us from afar.”
Jennie smiles at the image. “That’s adorable.”
Lisa regales her with a story about Luca, Leo, and a box, her eyes shining prettily under her bangs, and Jennie tries not to get too caught up in her smile, the sound of her voice, the way she touches Jennie’s robe-clothed knee sometimes as she speaks.
Falling for this girl will be a disaster, Jennie knows, and no one needs that.