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(some things are meant to be)
i.
The first time it happened, Terra was caught off guard. In a sudden fleeting moment, she was gone before he fully registered what had happened in his mind. Gone, before he could reach out to her, or say anything to her.
One second, Aqua had tended to his wound; an accidental scrap of keyblade against his left arm during their sparring session, and the next, she had leaned forward to press her lips on his cheek gently, apologising for hurting him.
Terra could feel the immediate heat on his cheek as she took her leave, one hand fluttering to touch the spot she had so casually kissed. His heart was thumping loudly against his chest, butterflies settling into his stomach slowly but surely; at that time, he was too young to know why he had reacted that way. Only that it has set off a multitude of emotions in his heart that he didn’t know he was capable of having.
Terra had spent the entire night thinking about it, unable to fall asleep.
ii.
Fast forward to a year later, Terra had returned to the Land of Departure after completing his mission in another world. His friends were already waiting for him outside the castle, Ven bursting in excitement the second he landed on the ground—he had thrown himself on the older boy, hugging him tightly.
“Hey kiddo,” Terra grinned, ruffling Ven’s hair out of adoration. “missed me?”
“Of course!” Ven had nodded, and then quirked an eyebrow up. “What’s that?” He pointed, eyeing the unfamiliar bundle of cloth Terra had tied around his shoulder.
“Something for you,” Terra handed the bundle over to the younger boy, who had yelped in anticipation, taking the bundle graciously with a hurried thanks before sprinting into the castle without turning back.
Aqua laughed at that sight, and it is then that Terra turned to finally look at her. Their eyes met, and they smiled at each other. He had gone away for one week, and it was only when Terra saw Aqua again that he realised just how much he had missed her.
“At this rate, we’ll spoil Ven with souvenirs.” Aqua remarked teasingly, to which Terra merely shrugged, his lips tugging upwards. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a bracelet he had so carefully tucked away before starting his journey home. “I have something for you too.”
The glint in her eyes was evident, Aqua gasping slightly when he placed the bracelet carefully into her palm. It had blue strings, a star dangling as a single charm. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Terra.” Aqua marvelled at it for a few more seconds, before she looked up again. “I take it that everything went well?”
“Yes,” Terra replied, chest swelling with pride. “It took a little while longer but it was a success.”
Aqua had taken another step forward, now standing directly in front of him. It suddenly struck Terra of the period of time when she had been taller, but now, she had to crane her neck to properly look at him. “I’m proud of you.” was all she said before she tiptoed, and planted a quick kiss on his left cheek.
Her face bloomed with colour as she did that, but Aqua was still smiling. Wordlessly, she turned around, ready to head back to the castle, eyes now back to stare at the bracelet he had gotten for her.
Just like last time, Terra had been too stunned to do or say anything. This time though, he knew exactly why he had froze, why his heart was beating so loudly he could hear it in his ears. Terra just didn’t know if he was ready to admit it yet.
iii.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no—”
He heard the panic in her voice first, she had one ear pressed against the door of a very cramped, very small room they had rushed into. Aqua had began to nibble onto her fingernails, a habit which Terra knew meant that she was panicking, but was trying to calm herself down.
They were on a mission together. It was supposed to be a simple one, so clearcut that nothing could possibly go wrong. Master Eraqus had instructed them to attend a festival in Radiant Garden, and to simply follow two men wanted for continuous theft. They were then supposed to inform the Garden’s guild leaders of their hideout place. It really was their easiest mission to date. They weren’t supposed to do anything else, let alone compromise their entire evening of tailing the suspects.
“We’re about to get caught,” Aqua hissed under her breath, worry etched on her face.
“Aqua,” Terra held onto her arm, unable to move much in this cramped space of a storeroom for mops. Trust their luck for hiding out in the smallest room with a broken door lock--they were leaning so close to each other that Terra could feel himself forgetting how to breathe. “calm down.”
Aqua was shooting daggers with her eyes. She wanted to say something back, something along the line of if you’d stayed put like i told you to, we’ll never be caught in this situation, but decided against it. They were in this together, there was really no use putting the blame on either party.
“Are you sure there were people following us?”
Terra groaned inwardly, recognising the voice belonging to one of the two men he had tailed. The voice was loud enough for them to hear, which only meant one thing—they were standing outside of the room they were hiding in.
“I mean, I just had a feeling.”
“Well, I don’t see anybody.”
“Hm.”
“Maybe we should just go.”
They were about to expel a sigh of relief when one of them spoke again. “Hey, where does this door lead to?”
Aqua covered one hand over her mouth, her eyes widening in dismayed realisation that in three seconds or less, they were about to get caught. Her eyes frantically met Terra’s, a lump latching itself onto her throat that she suddenly couldn’t think of anything that might save their current situation.
“Aqua,” Terra whispered urgently, an idea flashed into his mind. Before he could elaborate further, the doorknob began to turn, and Terra acted without thinking.
When one of the men swung the door open, they didn’t find two suspicious people in hiding. Instead, they found only a couple who had escaped the festival for some time alone.
iv.
Terra and Aqua didn’t talk about what happened during that mission. It was left unsaid, though vividly hanging in the clouds of their memories. Ven had wondered naturally what had happened, for they had returned home with flushed cheeks, neither able to look at each other for a long time.
It was only a week after, that Terra summoned enough courage to bring the topic up again. He had gone to the study where Aqua was reading some books, knocking politely to alert her that he was going in. She had looked up, cheeks immediately colouring at the sight of Terra, but by no means was she upset to see him. Instead, she gestured for him to sit down beside her.
“I have a feeling Master has his suspicions of what happened that evening.” Even though he was the one who decided to break the ice between them, it was Aqua who spoke first. Terra willed himself to look at her. “I think Ven has his own theories of what happened, too.” He said point blank.
Aqua laughed; a sound he hasn’t heard in a long time. Hearing her laughter was calming enough that Terra could finally say what had been bugging his mind the entire week. “I wanted to apologise.”
Aqua raised an eyebrow, slightly alarmed. “What for?”
“I wasn’t thinking that time, and I clearly didn’t consider your feelings.” He met her gaze for the briefest of second, but looked away.
Aqua’s mouth formed a small ‘o’, but she was quick to shake her head. “Don’t worry about it, Terra. You did what you had to.”
Relief washed over him immediately, and he expelled a sigh. He still felt terrible, though, so he couldn’t quite look at her. Terra wondered if now was a good time to leave, not knowing what else to say. He used to be able to spend hours in the same room with her, but it was becoming painfully obvious that he could no longer do that these days.
“Terra?” It took him a few seconds to register that Aqua had held onto one of his hands. She was tugging at it, a sign which prompted him to look at her. “Please don’t feel bad about it. I actually thought…” He noticed the faint blush on her cheeks, how her gaze seemed not to hold onto his for long. Terra knew her far too well to know that she was flustered, shy even. “…that it was brilliant.”
It was his turn to blush, he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “So…you’re not mad at me anymore?”
Aqua chuckled, dropping his hand so she could rubbed her hands together. “I wasn’t to begin with.”
There was something about the way she had answered his question, how she was looking at everywhere but him, the way she was playing with her fingers nervously, that set something off in Terra’s mind. It clicked in sudden realisation because Aqua’s behaviour was far too familiar, far too close to his own heart, his own experience.
Three years ago, Terra didn’t understand why his heart began to flutter whenever he accidentally brushed shoulders with Aqua’s when they were sparring. He didn’t understand why his face grew hot when Aqua kissed his cheeks, didn’t understand why he had longed to hold her hands, to see her again when he had gone away for missions.
Now, at eighteen, Terra was beginning to understand. He used to think that he’d never be able to feel this way for someone; to bare his entire heart and soul to that one person, to constantly dream of her and yearn for her touch.
His heart was palpitating, he could feel the blood rushing through his head. Terra did the same thing he did during that mission; he cupped her face with both hands, slowly though this time. He had imagined this countless times in his head, had regretted that the first kiss they shared with each other had occurred in an unforeseen circumstance. He wanted to make it right, this time. He was hesitant, careful, even. Terra paused, waiting to see if Aqua showed any signs of discomfort, to see if she’d pull away.
She didn’t, so he leaned forward and closed the gap between them.
v.
They were different now after twelve years of suspension in time and in the shadows.
She’d told him it was all her fault, that she’d failed him and Master Eraqus; he’d shook his head and said it was his, for believing and trusting the wrong person. She’d teared up, asking for his forgiveness; he’d grasped her hands, eyes swollen from all the nights he couldn’t sleep, asking for hers. They’d pushed and pulled since then, both dwelling in the guilt that has shattered their hearts into millions of pieces they didn’t know how—want—to fix.
It hurts. It really, really hurts, but no matter how much they tried to punish themselves by staying apart from each other, the more they came to a realisation that they yearned and longed for one another.
“I shouldn’t,” His mind screamed for him to stop, to push her away, but his heart was set on the opposite. It happened in such a blur that Terra couldn’t remember what he was doing before he had pushed her into a corner of the castle, against the wall hidden beneath the shadows.
“We shouldn’t,” She corrected him, though she made no effort to stop herself from curling into his embrace, knotting her fists in his shirt, chest pressed against his. They met halfway, their kiss soft and light, her whole body trembled at his touch. But gentleness wasn’t what she wanted, not after all this time, and she knew he felt the same.
He had cupped her face in his hands, she had circled her arms around his neck. There was desperation as they deepened the kiss, mutual pining that have built up for twelve years. He parted her lips, felt the wild tremors hitting his every nerve as she clung onto him, the only solid thing in this otherwise swaying world. Aqua didn’t know she was capable of feeling this way, like the entire world has melted into a blanket of noiseless background and there was no one else but him, and him alone, kissing her, making her feel like this was the only thing that matters.
They both knew right then that everything else could change, the whole world could crumble and fall into the depths of darkness, the sun could stop shining, birds could stop chirping—but the love they had for each other would always remain the same; unchanged, everlasting, real.
(f i n)