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Amajiki had been unconscious when first came to visit; it had only been a few days since the end of the Raid and the death of Sir Nighteye. It was hard to see the whole thing as a victory when everyone had lost something. They got Eri out, and no one was ever going to regret helping her out. But it did not make the aftermath any less bittersweet.
And he had come to Amajiki’s room in the hope of some comfort of seeing both of his interns safe. Just half an hour ago he had finished visiting Kirishima and hearing he was going to make a full recovery helped appease some of the chaos in his mind. It had been promising when he first sat down beside Amajiki, the heart monitor was turned off and he only had an IV and bandages-no casts- which was a refreshing sight.
It seemed, however, that that was undone upon Amajiki’s doctor entering the room. As his mentor, Taishiro had some rights given to him over Amajiki for occasions just like this one, when he could act as his intern’s medical proxy. Which meant he was fully briefed on Amajiki’s condition. His injuries. His surgery. His new situation.
“Our surgeons did the best they could as did Recovery Girl, but the damage was too much.”
“How did this happened?”
“For what we can tell, his goggles broke, and shards got in his eye. We won’t really know the extent of the sight loss until he wakes up.”
“Is there a chance he will have some vision?”
“I’m sorry,” The doctor looked sympathetic, her tone low, “All things considered, he is unlikely to have any remaining sight on the eye.”
“...” Taishiro stayed silent, processing through what he had been told. A dark look painting his expression. Attempting to hide it, he looked at the doctor, “When will he wake up?”
“Maybe in an hour or so, we eased off the sedatives this morning,” She sighed, maybe she wanted to say something more, something different than what she did say, “Well, I’ll be taking my leave, I’ll be back when Amajiki is awake. Please don’t be afraid to call a nurse if you need anything.”
“...Okay, thank you, doctor,” Taishiro nodded, still taken back by the information he was given.
The doctor quietly left and soon after the weight of everything finally hit him. He fell back on the chair beside Amajiki’s bed, leaning over and running his hand over his face. A wary breath.
Oh god. Oh god. OH GOD.
He wanted to cry. The only thing stopping him was the teenager sleeping calmly on the bed. He was not going to rip him from the peace of unconsciousness, Amajiki was going to find out soon, but Taishiro was not going to accelerate the discovery.
-
It had been maybe twenty minutes when his stomach decided to take him away from his intern. While at first, it was frustrating to have to step out of the room, once he made it to the cafeteria it seemed to reveal itself as a blessing. He was able to think better through everything, it all felt clear without the oppressing air of the hospital room. The cafeteria was detached from everything.
Yet the noise, or the food, or the smells, or anything could not distract him. His reeling thoughts slowly coming to a stop. His feeling finally settling.
He felt regret, and he felt afraid. Regret for not being able to do anything to help his young intern, nothing to prevent it. Afraid because he didn’t know what would happen next; this was a worst-case scenario he never thought of.
What would happen next?
Unfortunately, there were so many unknowns, a-and...and he had an idea of where Amajiki’s future once lay, now he did not know. Hell, he did not know what was going to happen when Amajiki woke up.
He was afraid that Amajiki was going to give up being a hero.
He was afraid that Amajiki would have to give up being a hero.
He was afraid that-
Crack.
Looking down to his hand, his plastic fork broken into pieces. Well, at least he had already finished eating.
It was probably time he started heading back.
After cleaning his area and putting his tray on top of a trash can, he walked the long way to Amajiki’s room, first going to Kirishima’s room-though only through passing after he heard a loud voice keeping the teen company, probably the Bakugou boy Kirishima often talked about.
With really no other way to delay the inevitable, Taishiro headed to his other intern’s room.
He had almost reached it when he stopped, there was a voice coming from the room. The doctor, his mind supplied. That meant Amajiki was awake and in the years as a hero had something made him as afraid as going in that room did at that moment.
He was afraid that Amajiki would hate him.
Sigh.
He composed himself, trying to have only a comforting attitude and smile, it was not the time to show fear or guilt, that's the last thing his intern needed.
-
“35%.”
That had been the first thing Amajiki had said.
“Mhm?”
“I lost 35% of my sight, complete sight loss on the left eye,” His intern whispered back, well it was more of a continuation of his previous statement. He was withdrawn, looking down-which in itself would not be rare- but it was more than average. Given the situation, it did make sense, though.
“I know this is a lot take in,” The doctor spoke up, right, she was still in the room-he was really off his game- she was looking at Amajiki, “Do you need some time?”
A nod.
She glanced up. At the very least, Taishiro could understand what that meant.
“Okay, okay,” He whispered, he got up from his chair and walked out with the doctor, only looking back once he reached the door.
The hall felt cold. Too open and too closed off at the same time. The fluorescent lights seemed too bright. He knew this was the likely outcome and, yet, it still took him by surprise.
“I know, you just had come in, but this kind of thing can be very overwhelming for anyone,” The doctor said after she had closed the door, “I am sure you understand.”
“Yes, of course.” He leaned back on the wall, slumped back more like. He rubbed his face and looked at the doctor, “Can I ask you something doc? Is he going to be able to continue being a hero?”
“He would have to adapt, and maybe relearn something,” She looked at him, she seemed unreadable to him, but his brain was slow, “But with enough training, I have no doubt he can still be a hero.”
That should have as a relief, he understood that it was good news, but it did nothing for his guilt. He had hoped those words would stop what he was feeling, it seemed it was going to be a lot harder than that.
“With all due respect, sir, I know it is easy to blame yourself,” Could she read his mind? Actually, she might, he didn’t quite catch her quirk or name, for that matter-he was really out of it -well, the latter was easier to solve as it was written on her coat: Saito. Dr. Saito continued, “But this is not your fault. He is going to need your support, more so if he wants to be a hero, and you can’t be doubting yourself to be there for him.”
Huh, it was hard to remember sometimes that doctors were- in their own way- heroes. And, unlike pro heroes, the ability to comfort people was a standard, not just a talent few possessed.
It seemed the doctor left him with much to think about. Dr. Saito having left while his mind went on a tangent.
-
It was hard not to blame himself.
It was hard not to blame himself when it was his intern who was injured.
And it was hard not to blame himself for those injuries. If he had done something different. If he had stayed just a little longer. If he had found another way.
If. If. IF.
It did not matter. That is in the past. He could regret every single one of his actions, but nothing would be done. All could do is help Amajiki overcome this and, as the doctor had said, be there for his intern.