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It wasn’t like things were really all that different. In fact, nothing monumentally huge had changed. Not later on in the first day. Not in the first week. Not during the first few years. Not even after the first two decades had passed.
Carmilla remained snarky and hard at the edges. She continued to occasionally be stubborn and obstinate, if for no other reason that she felt like being so. She kept her quick wit and utter charm, able to sweep up anyone in her path with as little as a slight curve of her lips. She still smelled of leather and mint and mahogany, a scent so completely comforting and safe that during the times they were apart, Laura craved it. And she held fast to her innate ability in making Laura feel more loved and cherished than anyone else in the world.
But the list of similarities didn’t stop there. There were hundreds, thousands of others.
Carmilla still reached for her hands, braiding their fingers together at every opportunity with practiced ease, palms soft.
She would casually sling her arm around Laura’s shoulders when they walked along the busy streets, cool and casual as she pulled the tiny brunette close into her side, where she fit so perfectly.
She always tugged Laura into her back every night when the smaller girl wrapped around her from behind, spooning her tight and molding their bodies together like the pieces of a puzzle until they fell into a deep slumber.
She never stopped smirking into their kisses, her lips teasing and tender at times, fast and claiming at others, always leaving Laura’s head spinning regardless.
She still wrapped her arms around Laura at every opportunity, the hugs making the tiny brunette’s heart flutter, her smile brighter during happier moments, and sob harder, taking all the comfort she could in the sadder ones.
And Laura adored every second of it. Everything about it was absolutely perfect. Just as it always had been.
But there was one minor difference.
One little thing that Laura couldn’t ignore.
Or, more accurately, one slight change that Laura absolutely loved.
Styria, Twenty Sixteen
“Are you asleep?” Carmilla whispered into the dark, her fingertips from one hand trailing along Laura’s arm wrapped tight around her waist while the other tugged at a stray thread from the quilt covering them.
“No,” Laura answered, her tone just as hushed. She glanced around their dorm room, the moonlight filtering through the pale curtains near her old desk, taking note of the remaining boxes that LaF and Perry had promised to ship for them once they were settled. “I think I’m too excited.”
“For tomorrow?” she asked, her voice still slightly muffled.
“Yeah.”
She sighed, pressing her forehead to the back of her girlfriend’s neck, the small smile on her lips growing as the seconds ticked by.
Tomorrow. It was a new chance. A new start. Something more. Something better.
“It’s going to be so great,” she said, the smile in her voice more than obvious.
“Yeah,” Carmilla mumbled, stiffening ever so slightly even as she pressed herself further back into Laura’s front. “Yeah.”
Laura’s brow furrowed as she paused, a sudden bout of worry leaking into her chest at Carmilla’s dejected tone.
“Are you not excited?” she asked carefully, curious.
Why wouldn’t Carmilla be happy ? Why wouldn’t she be absolutely thrilled at what was just around the corner? This wasn’t just for them. It was a chance for Carmilla to have something new. Something different.
But Carmilla didn’t answer with anything more than a small shrug, her fingers wrapping tighter around Laura’s wrist, almost as if she was trying to keep her from ever pulling away.
“Hey,” she tried again, pushing off the mattress and resting her head against her free hand, the move giving her just enough of a vantage point to take in Carmilla’s profile and the truly epic pout she was sporting. “Carm, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re pouting.”
“I am not,” she muttered petulantly.
“Well then you’re doing a great imitation of a four-year-old who was just told they can’t have dessert,” she tried again, her thumb slowly brushing back and forth against the soft skin of Carmilla’s forearm as she waited, using all the patience she possessed.
“It’s not important, Laura,” Carmilla finally said, her eyes fixed on the window, the stars beyond the tempered pane just barely visible.
“Well it must be a little important if you’re using my real name.” She waited another long moment, feeling Carmilla sag further back into her, and leaned forward, leaving a soft kiss just above the sole freckle on her arm. “Talk to me.”
“I just…” Carmilla trailed off for a long moment, turning her head just enough to meet Laura’s eyes over her shoulder. “Toronto’s a long way away.”
“This is true. Good to see you’ve been studying up on your geography.”
“It’s going to be different,” she continued, ignoring the attempted joke, her eyes even sadder as she held Laura’s gentle stare.
“Yeah, no giant fish gods or evil vampire clans trying to kill us,” Laura agreed, leaving another kiss against her skin.
“And… I mean, it’s going to be an adjustment.”
“Yeah?”
“And not necessarily the location but… it’s not exactly Silas, you know?”
Not exactly Silas?
Laura tipped her head, pondering the statement for a long moment, wondering at why exactly that would be a bad thing. After all, the dean was dead. They’d won the battle and saved the world. They’d been given another chance. A chance to start something wonderful. A chance to start something new.
And then something occurred to Laura that she’d never thought of.
“You know… I know that you won’t miss your mother. And I know that you won’t miss having to use your incredible wiles, charm, and super sexy smile to ensnare any more targets to be sacrificed,” Laura said, reaching for Carmilla’s hands and pulling so that she rolled over, leaving them lying face to face. “But… Carm, if you’re going to miss this place, that’s okay.”
“It’s not that I’m going to miss this place,” Carmilla shrugged. “Because I really hate it here. I always have. But… it was something I knew. It was something I could rely on. Something constant. And, believe it or not, the only constant when you’re three centuries old is time. Having something else…”
“We can make our own constants in Toronto,” Laura offered when Carmilla didn’t continue. “We will make them. Whether we’re there or… wherever we go. Wherever we end up. We’ll make new ones, just for us.”
“But what if we don’t?” she mumbled. “What if… what if before then, you change your mind?”
“Change my mind about what?”
“About me,” Carmilla said, looking away. “What if you get sick of me?”
“Why would I get sick of you?” Laura asked, truly confused at the turn this conversation was taking.
“I mean, I’m different now. Or, really, I’m not different. I’m not special anymore. Not that being a vampire is a good kind of special, but now… well, I’m just like everyone else.”
“But you’re not,” Laura said, a soft smile breaking across her lips. “You’re Carmilla Karnstein, the girl I’m totally crazy about.”
“The vampire you were totally crazy about.”
“No. You’re the girl I love and adore.”
“The vampire you loved and adored.”
“Again, not what I’m saying. You’re still you , Carm,” she giggled, reaching up and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear. “You’re still going to be messy and sleep late and be grumpy around my friends. And you’re still going to read like at least fifteen books a week, half of them in languages I can’t even pronounce. And you’re still going to be super sweet to me and bring me chocolates and make me weak in the knees anytime you smile at me and pull me close to dance, even when there’s no music.”
Carmilla glanced up, the barest hint of hope entering her dark eyes, and Laura leaned forward, leaving a gentle kiss just above her right eyebrow.
“Just because you’ve had a slight change in appetite and are now truly seventeen days older… that doesn’t mean that you’re not you. And it doesn’t mean that I feel any different about you. Or about us.”
She wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s waist and pulled her in, legs entwined, chest to chest, sharing the same air, which was… new.
“Carm, I’ve told you this before. All of that wasn’t my reason for liking you. It’s not why I love you,” she said, holding her gaze. “Yes, you were a vampire. And at times, that wasn’t easy, we both know that. But it was just a part of you. And I love you as a whole. Not bits and pieces. Not this part here and that part there.” She paused for a long moment, letting her words settle as a small smile crept across her lips. “And yeah, I might miss seeing a milk container in the fridge with ‘mine’ written on it. And I’m definitely going to miss those purring noises you make in your sleep. Especially when your nose twitches.”
“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” Carmilla grumbled.
“But the point is, I love you. Regardless of what happens, we’re still us and… we’re going to be together.”
“Yeah?” Carmilla asked after a long moment.
“Definitely,” she said, pulling her closer, resting their foreheads together. “We’re stuck with each other now.”
“Well, I suppose someone has to make sure you stay out of trouble,” Carmilla said, finally cracking a small smile.
“I’m glad it’ll be you,” Laura agreed, relaxing back into the mattress when Carmilla nodded. “Come on. Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”
Carmilla merely nodded once more, nuzzling into Laura’s neck as they rolled, her weight now resting halfway atop the smaller girl.
The minutes ticked by, slow and quiet, and she felt Carmilla relax further into the bed, sleep overtaking the dark-haired girl. And with a smile Laura left another kiss against her forehead, holding tight and relishing the feeling of Carmilla’s hands winding under her shirt to keep her close.
And though it had already been over two weeks, that’s when Laura first noticed it.
Carmilla was warm.
Toronto, Twenty Twenty-Two
Everyone in the room clapped politely as LaF and Perry were introduced, the two gingers smiling graciously as they shook the host’s hand before stepping to the podium and beginning to discuss the new technology they were using at LaFerry industries – LaF providing the technical jargon while Perry made sure to reign them in whenever they started in on an off-topic tangent.
And Laura wanted to pay attention. She wanted to listen and take in whatever information she could. She was proud of them. She was proud of the hard work they’d put out and the incredible payoff that had come after years and years of sacrifice.
But she couldn’t. She couldn’t absorb a single word her friends were saying from their spot near the front of the room, surrounded by a hundred strangers who were completely enthralled.
No. She couldn’t even pretend like she was trying.
Because Carmilla was standing next to her.
Carmilla looking beautiful and sexy, and making her feel like it was Laura’s first time seeing her all over again.
Carmilla in a fitted, knee-length black dress that had Laura’s breath hitching in her throat when she’d stepped out of their bedroom just two hours earlier, her heels clicking against their polished wood floor as she made her way down the hall.
Carmilla, the woman that she fell in love with just a little more each and every day.
The woman who is without a doubt the most amazing gift I’ve ever been given.
She felt Carmilla twine their fingers together, squeezing gently as she did, the gesture one that they didn’t even have to think about anymore.
Turning ever so slightly, she watched Carmilla take a small sip from the wine glass in hand, her throat bobbing as she swallowed before taking a deep breath and releasing it in a long sigh.
Such a small gesture, but one that had Laura’s heart skipping a beat in her chest.
She stepped closer, letting their sides press together with practiced ease, taking one last lingering glance at her fiancée before turning back towards the front of the room where LaF was in the middle of discussing the molecular make-up of LaFerry’s new Hemo-Soy drink, using words she’d never have a clue even existed.
But still, she wasn’t absorbing anything, her distraction only amplifying as Carmilla’s thumb gently tickled across her own. Reaching over with her free hand, she wrapped it around Carmilla’s wrist, her grip snug, fingers searching for that particular spot she knew so well. Locating it quickly, she felt the older girl’s steady pulse thrumming against her fingertips, the sensation one that she’d found herself growing fonder and fonder of as the years ticked by.
And she couldn’t help but smile harder, biting her bottom lip as she did to quell her happiness.
“What’s so funny?” Carmilla whispered, leaning in closer but still focusing on the front of the room.
“Nothing,” Laura whispered back, keeping her eyes on where her friends stood, Perry now discussing legal logistics. “Just…”
“Just what?”
“Just really proud of them,” she said, glancing over at the dark-haired girl.
“They’ve done pretty well,” Carmilla said with a shrug.
“So have you, you know…” Laura paused, staring raptly and taking in every inch of Carmilla’s profile. “Professor Karnstein.”
Laura smiled harder as she saw the blood rushing to Carmilla’s cheeks, the slight dusting of pink a look that she loved and took advantage of at any opportunity that presented itself.
Pushing herself onto her toes, she leaned in, leaving a soft kiss against her jaw, the skin warm beneath her mouth and Carmilla’s pulse pumping harder against her fingertips.
Vancouver, Twenty Thirty
They weren’t the oldest people in the line. Not by a long shot. But they weren’t the youngest either. The days of being perpetually youthful were gone, just barely visible in the rearview mirror.
Not that Carmilla really looked that much different. She was still gorgeous. She still caught the attention of at least half the population everywhere she went, dropping jaws and leaving gawkers in the dust, none the wiser of their wanting gazes.
Or more likely, she just doesn’t care.
But the lines at the corners of her mouth were a little more defined. The furrow in her brow a bit more pronounced. Her eyesight wasn’t quiet twenty-twenty anymore, even though she argued that she could see just fine.
But it made sense. After three long centuries of waiting, she wasn’t eighteen anymore. She wasn’t even twenty eight. But Laura swore, even at ‘thirty two’, Carmilla was more beautiful than ever. She still had those incredibly hypnotic dark eyes. She still had that signature cocky smirk and those amazing full lips. She still had that unblemished ivory skin highlighting her perfect figure and gorgeous dark hair, wavy and soft. She still had that unmatched charm that could leave Laura blushing and speechless in the best way possible.
Though she has turned that down a little. At least in public, Laura thought, knowing the exact reason, or reasons more accurately, for the change.
Bouncing on the balls of her feet, she glanced down at her phone, smiling at the text from Sherman confirming everything was ‘A-Okay’ at the house – complete with a thumbs up emoji, his new favorite – and that they should stop worrying about everything, and enjoy the last few days of their vacation.
“Are they giving him any trouble?” Carmilla asked from her side.
“Carm, they’re three and four. How much trouble can they be?”
“The wrapping paper incident in your office last week should be clue enough of that, cutie,” she said with a chuckle.
Laura just shook her head, sending another text to Sherman, reminding him for the umpteenth time to set the alarm before bed and pocketed her phone, the anxious bouncing resuming not ten seconds later. She stopped though when she felt Carmilla sling her arm over her shoulders as they stood waiting in the longest line in history. Sagging into her just the slightest, Laura looked over, watching as Carmilla glanced around them, face bored and aloof.
She still has that too cool for school attitude, Laura thought with a soft giggle.
“What?” Carmilla asked, turning towards her, brow furrowed even as her eyes stayed hidden behind her aviators. “Why you giggling?”
“No reason,” she said, turning slightly to wrap both arms around Carmilla’s waist beneath her leather jacket, nuzzling into her neck, warm and wonderful. “I’m just excited for the concert.”
“Yeah? Well it had better be more entertaining than the last one,” Carmilla grumbled, facing forward once again, still appearing completely indifferent. “Otherwise you aren’t allowed to pick anymore.”
“Hey! They haven’t all been bad. The Taylor Swift one last year was amazing!” Laura argued, knowing darn well Carmilla was rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. “And besides, anything is better than those super loud rock ones you keep forcing me to go to.”
“But I reward you so handsomely when you come. Both to the show and… afterwards ,” Carmilla teased with a smirk and Laura felt her cheeks heat up at the implication, just like always.
She does have a point. You’ve gotten many a reward over the years, making those earsplitting shows so incredibly worth it.
“Well, if this one’s bad, then I will reward you with whatever you want later tonight,” Laura said, voice quiet.
But apparently not quiet enough.
“Do you mind?” chastised the older woman behind them, standing there with a gaggle of pre-teens. “This is a family event.”
“Oh! I… I… I’m sorry,” Laura stumbled, blushing even harder as she met the woman’s hard gray eyes, quickly turning away when they narrowed angrily at her.
She turned back around, holding tighter to Carmilla’s waist and burying her face back in her neck, trying to ignore the slight shaking from the older girl’s shoulders as she chuckled at Laura’s embarrassment.
“You’re adorable, cupcake,” she said, her lips warm against Laura’s forehead, a long exhale tickling across her hairline.
“Even after all these years?” Laura mumbled, relaxing more and more against her wife as the seconds ticked by.
“Especially after all these years,” Carmilla agreed, voice soft as she pulled Laura closer into her side, safe and warm.
And Laura smiled, letting her lips press into Carmilla’s pulse point, the slight flutter beneath her mouth making her smile harder, as the feeling of every exhale from Carmilla continued to tickle against her skin.
Toronto, Twenty Thirty-Six
She sighed in frustration, her attempt to maneuver around the incredibly slow couple in front of her ruined once again as they stepped onto the escalator in front of her.
Mother… ugh!
This was the third time she’d had to slow down and wait for them since she’d arrived at Logan International just in time for her two hour flight home. And her irritation grew more and more with each annoying instance caused by the oblivious duo.
She wasn’t really in that big of a rush. After all, she still had to wait for her bag and then grab a cab home. And it would probably still be another hour or so after that before Carmilla would be done with her Thursday lecture.
Still! Speed it up, folks!
Reaching the bottom at last, she darted around the laughing pair, making sure to send them a hard glare as she passed.
How else would they learn?
Hoisting her laptop bag higher onto her shoulder and weaving around the other Pearson bystanders as she moved towards baggage claim seven, she honestly wasn’t paying much attention to anything beyond her destination, eager to get out and away from the crowd. Or she wasn’t until out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a familiar flash of raven hair.
Carm?
She skidded to a stop in her tracks, the gruff man behind her slamming into her at her sudden halt, jostling her just enough to almost knock her over. He grumbled as he moved past, but she paid him no mind as her eyes held onto the familiar ones across the way, hidden only slightly behind the sexiest pair of thick black frames she’d ever seen. She watched Carmilla smirk, wiggling her eyebrows as she waited and Laura felt her own beaming smile bloom across her lips.
Running through the middle of an airport may have been just a touch uncouth for a best-selling author. Especially one who had just wrapped up a national book tour. But she didn’t care. And the chuckle she saw shaking her wife’s shoulders as she ran only pushed her on faster.
“You’re here!” she squealed as she reached Carmilla, launching herself at the other girl, wrapping her arms around her neck, her feet leaving the floor as Carmilla hoisted her.
“What did you expect, creampuff?” Carmilla chuckled. “That I’d just be sitting at home on the couch counting my gold?”
“No,” Laura giggled as her feet found the floor again. “But I thought you said you had class today.”
“Hmm… I did say I had a class today,” Carmilla agreed. “I did not say I would be in attendance though.”
“Leave it to your TA?”
“Quite possibly. They can handle a few nineteen and twenty year olds panicking over a surprise quiz on normative ethics,” Carmilla smirked, attempting to pull her closer.
Soft. Warm. Safe. Wonderful.
She leaned up just enough to capture Carmilla’s lips with her own, their kiss soft and slow, as if they had all the time in the world. And, as was usually the case, she felt Carmilla’s lips curl into her signature smirk with each second that it lasted, her breath tickling at Laura’s lips as she did.
Pulling away finally with a quiet whimper, Laura opened her eyes, meeting Carmilla’s, the dark-haired girl’s smile now soft and loving.
“I missed you, Carm,” she said, letting the fingers from one hand tangle in dark locks, gripping tightly to her shoulder with the other, the starched material of Carmilla’s button-down messily bunching.
“I missed you too, cutie,” she said, kissing the tiny brunette once more. “We all did. The girls were practically bouncing out of their seats this morning talking about you coming home today. I barely got them to finish their breakfast before the bus came.”
“I’m surprised you even got them to go to school today,” Laura giggled. “Cara was a giggling maniac last night on the phone and Rory made me promise we’d start Order of the Phoenix tonight before bed.”
“Mattie may have stopped by and promised a trip to the movies this weekend if they went to school and stayed after for gymnastics and art club,” Carmilla explained, her eyes tracing Laura’s features and stopping on the smaller girl’s lips.
“So they won’t be home for a while?” Laura pouted, sagging a little in disappointment.
“Nope.” Carmilla’s hands trailed along her hips, fingertips warm against the little patch of skin she could reach underneath Laura’s fitted navy blazer. “Six at the earliest. And Perry volunteered to pick them up since she has to go get Niels from a mathletes meeting.”
“Oh. Okay,” Laura nodded, still clinging to her wife. “So did we have plans for the afternoon?”
“Why yes, I believe we do, cupcake,” Carmilla husked in that voice that drove Laura absolutely crazy, leaning in and leaving a long kiss against her jaw, lips tickling as she moved towards her ear. “You’ve been gone for thirty-six days. So we have some reacquainting to do at home.”
Laura sighed, feeling her face flush as her stomach fluttered, her desire for her wife not having diminished one iota in the last twenty years.
“I think that is a fantastic idea, professor,” she said, smiling and turning to gently meet Carmilla’s smirking lips, breath tickling, body warm, heart beating against Laura’s own chest.
No, things weren’t really all that different. Nothing monumentally huge had changed.
Nothing but was one small difference.
Carmilla was human.