Work Text:
Toronto, December, Twenty Twenty-Six
Trapping her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep her smile from completely overtaking her face, Laura ran another gentle hand through wavy black locks, twirling the ends as she reached them before starting over. Carmilla sighed heavily with each pass, the older girl pressing herself even closer between Laura’s legs, ear pressed to the tiny brunette’s stomach.
They’d been lying there on the couch for the better part of an hour now, Carmilla’s thumbs twirling around Laura’s hip bones as she gazed out the window, the sun dipping below the horizon, leaving the bare trees in silhouette. And Laura staring at Carmilla with something akin to wonder in her eyes, the stone fireplace warming the room, both quiet and content at the moment.
Which was just fine after the whirlwind of a day they’d had.
Laura had been fine that morning. She’d woken with a smile, holding tight to Carmilla, inhaling the amazingly wonderful scent that was her wife. Carmilla’s presence had calmed her as they sat together at the table a while later, nibbling at the bagels she’d gone out to get, the conversation light and airy. And when Carmilla had kissed her goodbye on their front steps before heading to the university, she was still okay.
But then, as the day wore on, she’d become more and more anxious. And by the time she was sat in one of her physician’s examination rooms early that afternoon, she felt like she was going to vibrate out of her skin, the exam table quietly squeaking as she bounced on top of it.
And then, she’d gotten the news. The most wonderful news. News that had her running to her car and speeding along to get to Carmilla as quickly as she could. News that had them both smiling and laughing, and beyond ecstatic as they held each other tight in Carmilla’s office, both unwilling to let go.
It’s been the perfect day, she thought as she lie there on the couch, playing with soft, silky strands.
The muscles in her abdomen suddenly flexed when she felt Carmilla’s fingertips tickle along her side, the touch making her want to laugh and swoon at the same time. Carmilla chuckled softly, knowing exactly what she was doing, before settling back into the smaller girl, letting her fingers brush along Laura’s right side in a soothing pattern.
“Hear anything good?” Laura finally asked, voice gentle after a few more quiet moments.
“Gurgles,” Carmilla answered, not even bothering to look up. “Lots and lots of gurgles. Are you hungry? I can make you something.”
“Nope,” she giggled. “I think those are just normal stomach sounds.”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” Carmilla said, shrugging slightly and letting one of her hands drift down Laura’s thigh over the top of her old, faded Silas sweats, the ‘L’ almost completely worn off. “Your stomach used to sound different.”
“How do you know?” Laura giggled again, the idea completely ludicrous.
“Vampire hearing.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t been a vampire for about ten years now,” she argued, moving her free hand to Carmilla’s jaw and tipping her face up, the older girl’s chin stopping to rest just above Laura’s waistband. “Maybe it makes different sounds than it did in college. Maybe something changed.”
“Well I know one thing that’s definitely changed,” Carmilla smirked, pushing the smaller girl’s t-shirt higher on her ribs and leaning forward, letting her lips brush at the spot just below Laura’s belly button.
“Yes, that is true,” Laura sighed, letting her own hand tickle across her stomach, smiling when Carmilla’s mouth slowly followed its path. “Honestly, I think I’m still kind of in shock.”
“Good shock?”
“The best shock.”
Laura paused, watching as Carmilla’s gaze traced across her abdomen for another moment before looking up and meeting her own stare. And she couldn’t help the fluttering in her chest at the complete and total adoration she saw in those dark eyes that she loved.
“This is just so incredible,” she sighed. “And I’m so happy, Carm.”
Carmilla nodded once, reaching up to lace the fingers from their free hands together, eyes soft as she waited for Laura to continue. Because of course she knew there was more coming.
God, I love her so much.
“You know, after it didn’t take when we tried a couple of years ago, I thought…” Laura swallowed down her tears once again, unable to count how many times she’d done the same thing over the course of the afternoon. “I thought maybe it wouldn’t happen for us. I thought maybe it was the world’s way of just telling us no. Of telling us that we shouldn’t get to be parents.”
“Fourth time’s a charm I guess,” Carmilla said, smiling softly at her before laying her head back down, her ear once again pressed to Laura’s soft skin, warm and wonderful. “And it would’ve happened for us, Laura. Maybe not this way, but we’ve been on the adoption list for almost a year now. So maybe it would’ve taken a little longer, but… it would’ve happened eventually.”
Laura let her fingertips pass through Carmilla’s hair a few more times, toying with the strands and smiling when the older girl would nuzzle closer every few seconds.
“Yeah, I just… god, I’m so happy right now,” she repeated. “And I love you so much.”
“Me too, cupcake,” Carmilla hummed, her voice sleepy and calm, leaving one more featherlight kiss just above Laura’s right hip before sagging fully into her, the comfortable quiet once again overtaking them.
Laura smiled once more and finally turned away, her own gaze looking out the window where the first snow of the season had just started to gently fall, coating the world outside.
“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?” Carmilla asked once more, running a tense hand through her messy hair before pulling one of her many black toques over it, the cap sitting crookedly on her head.
And she could hear the irritation in her voice, creeping in around the edges, even as she attempted to hold it back. But she couldn’t help it. This was the fourth night in a row – never mind the five nights the week before or the three the week before that - that Laura had woken her at two-thirty in the morning with another craving for something they did not have in the kitchen. And while she had vowed to do anything Laura asked during this time, her sleep-deprived brain couldn’t help but feel a tad bitter.
She knelt down, her fingers clumsy as she attempted to tie the laces on her boots, salt from the night before still staining the toes.
“I mean… yeah,” Laura said, voice quiet.
Carmilla glanced up at her wife, propped up against her own pillows, and watched as the smaller girl sunk in on herself, pulling the quilt Perry had just given them that Christmas tight against her chest.
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Pretty sure?” Carmilla sighed as she stood, tense, the smallest tinge of frustration still lingering in her tone.
Laura opened and closed her mouth twice, her eyes wide and worried.
“Well, I mean it’s what I want now,” she murmured.
“Now?” Carmilla groused. “Meaning by the time I get back you’ll either be asleep or want something even more asinine?”
And she knew it was too far. She knew it as soon as the words were leaving her mouth, but in her exhausted haze, she’d been unable to stop them.
You idiot.
“I-I don’t…” Laura started, swallowing hard and looking away as her eyes welled up. Biting at her bottom lip, she tried but hadn’t been able to stop the lone tear that leaked out, spilling down her cheek, and landing on top of the quilt.
Dammit.
“Aw fuck,” Carmilla grumbled, quickly rounding the bed, her boots stomping heavily against the wooden floor of their bedroom. Reaching Laura’s side, she gingerly sat next to her, setting a gentle hand atop her thigh, and hating when she felt Laura tense beneath her touch. “Cupcake, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to upset you.”
“I know but…” Laura said, trailing off with a sniffle as a few more tears trickled down her cheeks. She used the top of the sheet covering her to wipe them away, keeping her eyes on her lap even as Carmilla slid closer.
“No buts, okay?” Carmilla said. “I wasn’t trying to be a jerk. I’m just… tired. That’s all.”
Carmilla reached out, gently brushing her thumb under Laura’s right eye, wiping the now steady stream away before cupping her cheek and leaning in, resting their foreheads together, Laura’s skin warm against hers.
She waited, letting her thumb graze back and forth along Laura’s jaw until the smaller girl finally looked up, those warm brown eyes still worried and sad.
Well that just won’t do.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, cutie. And it’s fine. Whatever you want, okay? I’ll do it. I’ll just run out really quick and be back before you know it.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind going?” she asked once more, some of the tension leaving her body, sagging forward into Carmilla.
“I’ll never mind, Laura,” she said, voice now gentle. Carmilla leaned in, softly pressing their lips together for a long moment, feeling the tiny brunette sag even further into her. She quietly smiled as they parted, letting her thumb move back and forth once more before she stood. “I’ll be back in like thirty minutes, okay?”
Laura nodded, her own small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth, her death grip on the blankets loosening.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
Carmilla nodded with a wink and turned on her heel, her eyes heavy as she stumbled down the staircase and into the foyer, almost tripping twice. She grabbed her keys along with her leather jacket from the front closet, pulling it on as she stepped out onto their icy front porch. Turning as she locked the door behind her, the wind instantly bit at her cheeks, making her grumble even more as she trudged through the foot deep snow to the car. Hoisting herself into the vehicle, she thanked whoever was listening that she’d already cleared it off earlier that night when Laura had asked her to run out for Chinese food, the majority of the order now sitting in the fridge since Laura decided she wanted a grilled cheese instead by the time Carmilla had returned.
Ten minutes later, stepping into the closest twenty-four-hour convenience store to their house, she sighed in relief as the heat hit her, warming her face and thawing her fingers, which had already turned a faint shade of blue. Grabbing a basket, she shook her head at the chuckling clerk, the same gray-bearded man that was always there when she showed up in the middle of the night, and who had immediately guessed she had a pregnant wife at home on her first visit. She moved forward into the store, her boots slippery against the linoleum as she turned down the third aisle, grabbing up a bottle of Cheez Whiz with a grimace before moving towards the pickles.
“Spicy, spicy, spicy… where the fuck are the spicy pickles?” she grumbled, kneeling to get a better look.
Good job leaving your glasses at home, she thought as she squinted, attempting to read the labels. If she came back with the wrong kind, it would mean either another trip to the store or a very grumpy Laura. Really don’t want to deal with either, so spicy pick-
From her back pocket, her phone chirped once and she immediately closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and holding it to the count of ten before slowly releasing it and reaching for the device.
Laura (2:46 AM): Hey, so, I don’t think I want the cheese and spicy pickle sandwich anymore.
Fuck.
Laura (2:46 AM): Can you get some more ice cream though? Chocolate?
Laura (2:46 AM): No, wait! Vanilla!
Laura (2:46 AM): Or maybe caramel?
Carmilla chuckled, unable to do anything else as she stood, catching sight of the spicy pickles in question near the top shelf, and tossing a jar into her basket before moving towards the freezer section.
She’ll want them later anyway.
Carmilla (2:47 AM): Sure, cutie. I’ll be home soon with some ice cream.
May as well get strawberry while I’m here, she thought as she began piling different quarts of Haagen-Dazs atop the other items in the basket, the sound of the clerk at the front, now laughing louder than ever, reaching her ears as she grabbed the fifth container.
“We’re not going to another LaF and Perry pool party again if Kirsch is going to be there.”
“He didn’t mean to push you in,” Laura argued. “It was an accident.”
“I doubt you’d be arguing his case if you were the one who got soaked,” Carmilla countered as they reached the top of the staircase and walked into their bedroom. “Which, you almost were, by the way.”
“My hero, pulling me to the side just in time.”
“Well if you wanted to show your gratitude, I wouldn’t necessarily say no,” Carmilla said. She pulled her t-shirt over her head, cringing at how wet it still was and vowed to seek her revenge on Kirsch as soon as possible. She’d have to think on the how though as he’d gotten far less afraid of her over the years.
Stupid human teeth.
“Yeah… um, I mean… sure,” Laura said from behind her, the quiet tone immediately catching her attention.
“You okay, cupcake?” she asked, pulling off her shorts and dropping the wet clothes into the corner to take care of later.
Turning, her concern morphed into a smirk as she noted Laura’s lidded eyes on her. With her gaze tracing over the planes of smooth, pale skin Carmilla had just revealed, her lips parted, breath shallow, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what she was thinking.
“Oh, so that’s what’s wrong,” Carmilla chuckled as she untied the strings of her black bikini top and let it fall to the floor. Stepping forward, hands finding Laura’s hips, she leaned in, letting her lips trace along Laura’s jaw, chuckling when she felt her wife shiver.
“I didn’t say anything,” Laura mumbled, her hands already gripping at Carmilla’s shoulders and holding tight.
“You didn’t have to,” Carmilla said, her mouth finding that spot high on Laura’s neck that made her whimper.
Fucking love that sound.
She let her hands reach for the hem of Laura’s own baggy blue t-shirt, slowly pulling it up past her protruding belly button when she suddenly felt her wife’s hands reach out to stop her.
“Carm, wait.”
Stepping back ever so slightly to take in the smaller girl, who wouldn’t fully meet her eyes, she frowned at the uncomfortable expression dancing across Laura’s face.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” she said, voice equally soft. “You had that look and I just thought… well that you might want to.”
“It’s not that,” Laura said, hands now pushing her t-shirt back into place, worrying the hem. “It’s just… well… you don’t have to.”
“I don’t have to what?” she asked.
She used all of her willpower to stay still as Laura fully pulled away, moving towards the bed and falling onto the edge of the mattress with a huff.
“You don’t have to… you know,” she said with a shrug. “With me.”
Huh?
“I don’t have to?” Carmilla asked, taking a cautious step forward. “I’m more than aware of that fact, cupcake. But I’ve never really seen it as a chore.”
She smiled down at the tiny brunette, but it was short lived as Laura still refused to meet her eyes.
“Hey,” she tried again, carefully stepping forward and kneeling in front of her wife, hands soft on her bare knees. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Laura?”
“I just…” She sighed, long and hard, finally looking up, her soft brown eyes anxious. “You are so beautiful, Carm.”
“For being almost three hundred and thirty-five years old, I’d have to agree,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood, chuckling softly when the smallest of smiles shaped Laura’s lips. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
“It has a lot to do with it!” Laura argued. “It’s… god, I can barely keep my hands off of you anymore.”
“Well aware of that, cutie,” she chuckled. “And I’m in no position to complain about that.”
“But… we just don’t have to, okay?” Laura sighed once again, looking down at her lap. “Besides, we did it last night. And yesterday morning. And-”
“And what?” Carmilla asked, pressing their foreheads together. She waited, watching Laura take a deep breath before answering.
“How can you still even want to?” she finally asked, voice small.
“Is that a serious question?”
“Carm! I’m not goofing around here.” Laura whined as she pulled away.
“Okay, alright,” Carmilla said, holding her hands up in surrender. “You’re not goofing around. Fine. But can you please tell me what’s going on? And why in the hell you would ever think I wouldn’t want to?”
“Because…”
Carmilla waited again, watching the slight blush cross Laura’s beautifully full cheeks, loving the sight but hating how uncomfortable the tiny brunette was.
“Because you are so beautiful. And… I look like this,” she finally said with a pout, gesturing to her midsection.
“Because you look like what?” Carmilla started. “Incredible?”
“Fat. And everything is swollen! I can’t even wear my wedding ring right now!”
“You’re utterly stunning,” Carmilla continued.
“And all these stupid stretch marks.”
“So? You’re gorgeous.”
“Carm…”
“Nope, no arguments,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re sexy as hell, Hollis.”
“You are so full of it,” Laura said, the left side of her mouth just barely rising.
“No, I’m not,” she chuckled, shuffling closer, resting on her knees between Laura’s legs. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I honestly didn’t think you could ever become more breathtaking. But I was very wrong. These last few months…”
She smiled softly as Laura finally looked up, their eyes meeting for a moment before she leaned in, leaving a soft lingering kiss against Laura’s lips.
“Laura, you’re incredible,” she finally said. “Honestly, there are no words to describe just how amazing you are, inside and out.”
She reached up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Laura’s hear, letting her thumb graze her cheek as she cupped her jaw.
“And, while I realize we got here because of a certain topic, this isn’t just about sex. You are always incredible to me. And whether we do or don’t, it’s fine. But please don’t think for one second that when I look at you now, that I’m any less attracted to you than I was at when we first met.”
“Really?” Laura murmured, obviously needing one final push.
“Absolutely,” she said, smiling when she saw Laura relax.
She leaned forward, placing another long, slow kiss against her wife’s lips, Laura sighing at the contact, her eyes once again lidded when Carmilla pulled away.
“Look, we can do whatever you want. Doesn’t have to be sex. You just name it and we’ll do it. I just want to spend time with you, okay?” she said. “We can go see a movie if you want. The theater will be nice and cold. You’ll love that. Or we can hang out here and find something on Netflix and eat ice cream. We still have some chocolate brownie left. Or-”
“Or… we could stay right here and you could keep showing me how beautiful you think I am,” Laura said with a small grin.
“Show, huh?” Carmilla smirked.
Laura nodded as she reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head and leaning in.
“Please?”
“With pleasure, creampuff.”
Laura stared, unable to look away from the incredible sight in front of her, so beautiful, even under the harsh yellow lighting. It was one she’d thought on for years. One she’d often fantasized about. But absolutely nothing could have prepared her for the real thing. Nothing could’ve prepared her for how much this would make her heart want to burst into a million pieces of pure happiness.
“She’s so small,” Carmilla suddenly said from the other side of the room, the awe in her voice more than evident.
Laura quietly giggled as she watched Carmilla stare at the swaddled yellow bundle in her arms, gently bouncing up and down, though Laura doubted the dark-haired girl even realized she was doing it. Just one more reason that she knew Carmilla was going to be an amazing mom.
“I mean, I knew she was going to be small but… she’s so fucking tiny,” Carmilla continued, a lopsided grin on her face as she briefly glanced at Laura before moving her eyes back to the bundle. “Just look at her fingers.”
“You’re going to have to start watching your mouth,” Laura chastised with a tired smile, tucking a sweaty strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen loose from her messy ponytail. “And she’s absolutely perfect,”
“Pretty damn close,” Carmilla said, her eyes still on the newborn in her arms. She smiled softly, letting one of her fingers tickle at a chubby little chin. “She’s beautiful. She… she looks just like you, cutie.”
“Well I can’t say if she does or not because you’ve been hogging her since she got here,” Laura giggled.
“Hey, you’ve held her for the last nine months,” Carmilla argued with a smirk. “It’s my turn.”
Laura giggled softly and watched for another long moment, unable to help herself, still in awe that they’d arrived at this place. The weeks of morning sickness. The months of backaches and swollen ankles and utter exhaustion. All the weird cravings and irritation and mood swings. All of these things with Carmilla at her side as they welcomed their daughter was just so incredible.
And so worth it.
“Come here,” she said, smiling harder when Carmilla met her eyes once more, her own soft grin lighting up her face.
The older girl took a few steps towards the hospital bed, passing the small bundle in her arms over to a completely exhausted Laura before settling herself on the edge of the frame, one arm around Laura, the other hand still tickling at a soft, pink chin.
Glancing down, Laura felt her heart swell and tears prick her eyes as she stared down at the baby in her arms, fast asleep, none the wiser to just what the couple had gone through to have her.
Really really worth it.
She looked up, Carmilla’s eyes already on her, so full of complete love and adoration.
“I love you so much, Carm,” she whispered, craning her neck up to bring their mouths together.
“I love you too, Laura,” she said, her lips tickling with their close proximity.
“Knock, knock.”
They turned away from each other and Laura smiled at the sight of an eager LaF and Perry standing in the doorway, their excited smiles nearly overtaking their faces.
“Come on in you guys,” she said. “We have someone we want you to meet.”
“Who is this little one?” Perry cooed, smiling down at them in the bed.
“This is Rory,” Laura said, quiet even as love and pride filled her voice.
“Good job, guys,” LaF said with a small smile at each of them before looking back at the baby and reaching out.
“Beautiful,” Perry agreed, also moving closer.
“Looks like she’s got your hair, Fro-”
“Stop right there and go wash your hands!” Carmilla suddenly growled as she stood. Both gingers halted, their eyes widening in fear, and Laura had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “Now!”
“Ugh, yeah. Okay,” LaF bumbled. “We’ll be right back.”
“Already so protective,” Laura giggled as the duo scrambled out of the room, LaF’s sneakers squeaking against the tile.
“It’s my job,” Carmilla said, settling back down at the smaller girl’s side. “Just wait until she starts dating. I will eviscerate whatever kid comes sniffing around.”
“Good,” Laura smiled as she nestled into Carmilla’s side, her eyes once again finding the newborn in her arms.
Rolling onto her side, she reached out for her wife, her hand only meeting the bunched up sheet that had been kicked off at some point in the night when Carmilla undoubtedly overheated. Letting her eyes flutter open, she grumbled when she saw her wife was not lying next to her, the early winter moonlight filtering through the window illuminating Carmilla’s side of the bed. Rolling to her other side and pushing herself up onto her elbow, Laura peered over the side of the bassinet on her side of the bed, frowning when she saw it too was empty.
Slowly climbing out of the bed, she made her way out of the room, rubbing her eyes as she looked up and down the hallway for any signs of her wife. But it was mostly dark, only the faintest hint of light creeping up the stairs from somewhere below. She moved forward, taking the steps quietly, and rounding the banister into the living room where the stone fireplace was lit, softly warming the room. And though it wasn’t anything new, she immediately lit up with a smile at the sight that greeted her.
I will never get over how beautiful this is.
“Hey,” she greeted quietly.
Carmilla glanced up from where she sat in the middle of the sofa, bare feet propped up on the coffee table, eyes barely open and looking like she’d just rolled out of bed. And in her arms, their daughter cooed, clearly not mindful that it was just after two in the morning.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“Another fussy night?”
She let out a tiny giggle when Carmilla simultaneously nodded and shrugged. Though they’d come across very few issues during the day, the little one had been less than cooperative about sleeping through the night.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Laura asked, her voice just barely above a whisper as she moved further into the room.
“Because you’re exhausted,” Carmilla answered, her voice just as quiet. “You’ve been working like crazy on your book. I wanted to give you a break.”
Laura carefully sat on the couch, letting her side press against Carmilla’s, one arm lying across the back of the sofa behind her wife.
“So are you. You have finals coming up,” she said, pressing a kiss to Carmilla’s temple, smiling when she heard her wife sigh.
“I’ll manage.”
“We both will,” Laura said, her eyes moving down to the baby. “She’s so perfect.”
“Pretty damn close,” Carmilla said, brushing her thumb along Rory’s cheek the way she’d done to Laura so many times before.
Laura giggled softly, the banter one they’d kept up ever since the hospital, and left another kiss along Carmilla’s temple.
“How long have you been up?”
“Only like twenty minutes or so,” Carmilla answered, leaning into her side.
“Do you want me to take her? And you can go get some sleep? You have an early lecture in the morning,” Laura said, letting her fingers ghost along the back of Carmilla’s neck, playing with the hair that had escaped from her bun and feeling the dark-haired girl relax even more into her side.
“Nah, it’s okay. It’s good practice.” She looked up at Laura, a tired smirk pulling at her lips as their eyes met. “You going to be ready to double the workload soon?”
Laura smiled bright, unable to stop herself. The call from the adoption agency had come just a week earlier, an eighteen-month-old little girl waiting for them.
She was beautiful and amazing and just as absolutely perfect as the little brunette happily sitting in Carmilla’s arms.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m going to be ready,” Laura said, reaching out and running a careful hand through her daughter’s soft brown curls. “What about you?”
“I’ve got you,” Carmilla said. “And sprout here.”
Laura couldn’t help but laugh, Carmilla’s penchants for nicknames not diminishing in the slightest.
“Just need one more piece to the puzzle. And I think little chatterbox Cara is going to fit right in.”
Cara Jane.
“Yeah, she is,” Laura agreed.
She watched Rory for another minute, the baby’s eyes growing heavy as the seconds passed before finally closing completely as she drifted off to sleep.
“I honestly can’t wait,” Laura said, turning back to Carmilla and giggling at the sight of her wife, her dark eyes closed as well, breath deep.
Pulling Carmilla closer into her side, she took the blanket off of the back of the couch and carefully covered them, leaving another long kiss on her sleeping wife’s forehead as she continued to twirl her daughter’s hair.
And a few minutes later, listening to the soft crackling of flames in the fireplace across the room, she drifted off herself.