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The day Darlene Alderson died was a sunny day.
The perfect day really, the sun was bright and there was only a couple of white clouds in the sky, kind of making it look perfect to take a picture or paint it.
Darlenewas walking confident even when her mind was full of thoughts, most of them of Dom. Dom and her shy smile, Dom and her lips, Dom and her witty remarks, Dom the girl that hated her, Dom the girl she was completely in love with.
So here she was, walking down the street, a box of chocolates and a bottle of bourbon in one hand and a head half ready with an apology, when a bullet hit her right beside her heart. The shoot was loud and clear, coming from one of the tall buildings of the street. When Dom heard the shot, she jumped out of her bed and run down the stairs, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. Ready to help whoever had gotten shot at, thinking about a probable robbery, she froze when she saw the familiar black jacket and heart shaped sunglasses.
Darlene was laying on the middle of the street, blood coming out slowly out of her wound. She thought it was funny, that she died in the same clothes she had meet her, like some kind of sick circle or stupid destiny. There was people around her, one of them calling for an ambulance and another one pressing down on her, she pushed pass them all and knelled besides Darlene. Her face was pale and even though you could see she was in pain her face relaxed the moment she heard Dom say her name. She turned her face to her and opened her eyes, they were full of tears and slightly unfocused, but they were looking at Dom.
"Dom-" she tried to say something but her mouth filled with blood and she started coughing. Dominique shushed her while she changed the woman's hands with her own and cursed living so far away from the hospital and in a zone full of traffic. The blood started to pass through her fingers and Dom could not stop wondering why has this happened. Back in her mind she knew why, she knew her mission was to neutralize Darlene, it had been given to her weeks ago, but she never did it. Couldn't bring herself to. Thinking that if she put it off maybe they'll forget about Darlene and let her be, it was naive to think they wouldn't send someone else after her. But she didn't understand why Darlene was here, outside of her apartment building. "Dom, listen." She talked again making Dom look at her, it was hard. Darlene was always so strong, always ready to fight and only showing her worry, her desire, her love through her eyes but now her face only showed in how much pain she was and her eyes were tired, so full of something similar to acceptance, like if she knew that no matter if she gets the best doctors to treat her this is going to be her end.
And behind all that there was a spark of love.
Dom never hated being able to read Darlene so bad.
The sound of the ambulance was getting closer and Darlene's breaths were getting more and more painful for her, when the ambulance arrive and before the paramedics took Darlene away from her she said "I lov-"
She passed out, probably because of the blood loss, before she was able to finish the sentence. Leaving a shocked Dominique in the middle of the street, hands covered in blood and tears running down her face.
Darlene didn't make it to the hospital.
The funeral was so empty and so so quiet. Dom hated it and she knew Darlene would have hated it too. She would have wanted people to throw a party in her name, wanted them to get drunk, get laid and move on. But there wasn't enough people for it.
Dom was there from beginning to end. Angela was too, she cried a lot, the tears looked like there were never going to stop and Dom envied her. She hasn't been able to cry yet, like she was in some kind of shook and her mind couldn't get around the idea of Darlene dying. She was half expecting her to show up at any minute saying it was all a joke or part of a plan, but Darlene didn't show up. Elliot didn't show up either and part of Dom asked herself if maybe he was dead too. After a couple of hours of crying, Angela took a deep breath and reapplied her make up when a black car pulled down the street, if she hadn't seen her, Dom wouldn't have known she had been crying over her dead friend for the past hours. She watched her get in the car and drive away until she wasn't able to see her anymore. She never saw Angela again in her life.
The sun was setting when she saw her, she was looking down at her own grave. Darlene was looking down at her own grave. She was wearing the clothes she had died in but they were clean, no trace of blood or dirt on them.
A part of her brain was screaming this was wrong. Darlene was dead and this was just her mind grieving. The last weak rays of light seemed to go though her and Dom thought she looked beautiful.
When she blinked again, Darlene was gone.
She saw her again when she was drunk. She had gone to the same bar she had gone to with Darlene and the bartender looked at her with pitiful eyes when she raised her glass and said "To Darlene. Fuck you for dying."
She was throwing up, not sure how she had gotten home, when she rested her head on the side of the toilet and Darlene was looking at her, eyes full of worry. The white light of the bathroom seemed to go through her and Dom heard her sigh but no air got to her even when Darlene was so close to her she could see the tiny freckle on top of her left eyebrow.
"Why are you here? You died." Dom could feel the tears in her eyes when her voice broke at the end.
Darlene sighed. "I don't know. I can't seem to stay away from you." She let out a chuckle. "Looks like even when I'm dead I can't stop but try to be close to you." The tears were falling down and splashing down on the toilet water and for a while that was the only sound they heard until Dom stood up, convinced herself this was only happening because she was drunk. She went to bed and was sleep in minutes, not caring about changing clothes or opening the bed. Darlene watched her from the bathroom door.
The next time she saw her she screamed. Dom was trying to read, tired of not leaving the bed and crying for the past week. She made herself get up, shower and eat something even if she throw it up a few minutes later, when Darlene showed up on the other side of the couch. She blinked a few times but she was still there. She went to the bathroom and throwed water at her face but when she went to couch again she was still there.
"Dom." Darlene said and hearing her voice hurt Dom. It made her heart ache and her eyes filled up with tears so she looked away whispering to herself.
"You're not here. You're not here." Because Darlene was definitely not here and this was just her mind imagining things.
"I am here. Please look at me." She started talking again when Dom looks at her. "I am here I'm just not... Myself. I guess."
"Why are you here then?" None of them had moved. Darlene sitting on the couch and Dom standing beside the bathroom door.
"I don't know. Unfinished business I think." She was lying and she knew Dom knew it. But none of them said anything not even when Dom moved to sit beside her. "Can I touch-" She asked, moving her hand to Darlene's face. "You can't." She said at the same time Dom's hand went through her face, like Darlene wasn't even there.
None of them said anything else that day. Dom feel asleep trying to think Darlene was actually there, beside her, instead of in the ghost form that she looked to be in right now. They feel asleep crying. Dom's tears wetting the pillow, Darlene's tears doing nothing, like she wasn't even there.
They sort of started a routine after that. It was fun in the beginning. Darlene showing up when Dom felt bad or needed a laugh. Saying funny comments about the clothes of someone or saying stupid puns.
"You look very boo-tiful today."
"What an spectre-tacular failure he is."
"Put some Spook Dogg on."
"You have so much paperwork, it's Soo boo-ring."
One day Darlene was besides Dom but she wasn't saying anything, she spent the whole day playing with her fingers and looking at Dom and opening her mouth to say something but closing a few moments later. When Dom got tired of it she snapped and told her to ask her what she wanted.
"Could you- I- I mean, you don't have to but-"
"Darlene."
"Could you go check on Elliot? I'd like to know how he is."
"Oh." The request surprised her, but before she realized it she said. "Yeah sure. I'll go tomorrow."
So that's why she was here, nocking on Elliot's door at 10am in the morning on a Saturday with Darlene behind her. Part of her hoped that he wasn't home or that he was just sleep and wouldn't answer the door. But the door opened and to her surprise Elliot didn't open the door but Tyrell Wellick did.
"Agent. What are you doing here? Is everything ok?" He seemed surprised to see her but he make her come in and told her he would wake up Elliot when she told him she was here to see him. He was surprised to see her too and when she saw him, messy hair, no tshirt on and tired eyes, she thought he looked better than she expected. Elliot didn't say anything, silently waiting for Dom to speak and when she did he looked at her confused.
"I'm not here on official business actually, I'm- I- I'm checking in actually, to see how you're doing. After Darlene, I mean."
"Darlene? Who is that?" Dom heard Darlene take a deep breath behind her and whisper a soft "no".
"You know. Your sister, Darlene."
"I don't have a sister, Agent. I've never had."
Dom was ready to jump and tell him that yes, he did, he had an amazing sister who had died because of her and he should remember her. He should remember Darlene. But before she could Darlene spoke next to her. "Don't. Just- leave, I've already seen how he's doing." Her eyes were red and there were tears falling down her face. She was looking at Elliot and there was so much love there that Dom had to look away. She gave a weak excuse to get out of there and Elliot didn't fight her to stay, he didn't seem to care, but Tyrell stopped her when she was about to walk down the stairs.
"I'm sorry." He said. "Elliot... He's not doing very well. He remembers her sometimes, just not always. Seems to help him cope." Dom didn't say anything just gave him a short nod, she was half way down the stairs when Tyrell spoke again. "I know the pain of losing someone you love, I can't tell you it gets easier but, it gets, bearable I guess."
It was two months after going to see Elliot that the image of Darlene didn't help Dom, but hurt her. Seeing her would only make her think of all the things she did with her, all the things she wish she would have done and all the things she can't never do again. But not for the lack of trying. She had tried to hug Darlene one day, she had solve a case and was really excited so she had run to her with open arms only to fall face first against the couch, leaving both of them disappointed and with tired eyes.
She asked her if there was any way for her to touch her again but Darlene's response was only a sad smile and a quiet "No, I'm sorry."
So they stuck to talking. About nothing and everything. Quiet talks about the way they should have done things and loud conversations about stupid things with no importance. Dom had asked one night they were both laying on Darlene's bed if it hurts. If dying hurts. Darlene took a while to answer but Dom was already used to this.
This new side of her, one which took her time and didn't do things as rash as when she was alive, maybe it was because she knew she had all the time in the world now.
"Yeah." She ended saying. "Mostly in the middle, like, I had just gotten shot but I didn't feel anything, I was confused about why I was laying on the street when I hadn't bumped into anyone.
And then it hurt when that woman put her hands in my chest and it hurt when you appeared and changed her hands with yours. But then it didn't hurt at all.
It was like a was high, feeling everything in my body but at the same time feeling like I was floating.
Then I passed out and woke up in front of my grave."
Dom didn't answer anything to that.
Dom was drunk again, this time she was not knelling in front of the toilet but in front of Darlene's grave. She had not been here since the funeral, all those months ago. She hadn't found a reason to, seeing Darlene had made it all so much easier, so much painless, at the beginning at least.
Another week had passed after Darlene told her about what dying felt like and now the image of her not only hurt Dom but it made her feel so guilty and desperate. She didn't realize she had started crying until Darlene appeared in front of her face, saying a soft "Dom."
The sunset light went through her, like all the lights did, but this one made Dom cry harder because it looked like the first time she had seen her, looking down at her grave, only this time she was looking at her, blue eyes full of worry and love.
"Dom, what's wrong? Please tell me." She added when Dom didn't answer.
"I need you to leave. I can't do this anymore." Darlene's face gave away her disappointment and hurt not only to Dom but to anyone who would've seen her, but there was no one else. "You need to find out why you're still here and you need to leave."
"Dom..."
"No. Stop. I love you but looking at you every day and knowing we can never be more than a whatever we are hurts me. So, please, leave." Darlene's eyes went big when she heard Dom say I love you, but she didn't say it back, not yet at least.
"I know why I'm here." Darlene said after a few minutes of silence.
"Great, I'll help you. Where do we need to go?" Dom asked, while clumsily standing up. Darlene after her.
"We don't need to go anywhere. You're my unfinished business."
"I don't understand. You've been with me for months, it'd have been enough by now, right?"
Darlene let a long sigh. "I haven't said what I need to say yet. And I think that when I do, I'll disappear forever."
"Jesus H Darlene! Just say it!"
Tears were coming down both their faces and after a moment of silence Darlene said "I love you."
Before Dom had the chance to answer the image of Darlene slowly disappeared in front of her and she fell to her knees, only hours later she was able to whisper "I love you too."
The night Darlene Alderson disappeared forever was a dark and cold night.