Chapter Text
“Ugh,” Joe mumbled, rubbing his head as he began to drift out of sleep to the vibrating of his alarm. He sighed and rolled over in his bed, desperate to get some pain killers for his throbbing headache. Fragments of the previous night came back to him, but not enough to fully piece together what had happened. However, due to his lack of clothes, he could only assume that he had done something he would regret.
Joe sighed again, more frustrated this time, as he managed to recall the events of the previous night. There was a big party at Rami’s apartment to celebrate a new nomination for Bohemian Rhapsody, which had been strategically planned so that it would be around the same time Joe was in England for full-cast interviews. It would have seemed rude for him to not go, he supposed. Especially since all of Rami and Joe’s close friends had been invited - Including Ben and Gwil. However, a lot of high profile people that Joe didn’t know had also, and that made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Of course, being an American only worsened this feeling of sheer dread. British people hate Americans almost as much as themselves.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
Joe rolled over in his bed to be met with the piercing green eyes of his cardboard cutout of Ben, which stared at him almost mockingly. He had absolutely no recollection of how it ended up in his bed, but in a way he was kind of glad that it had.
The man knew exactly what had happened last night now, as if it had happened only an hour ago: He’d gotten very drunk to cope with his nerves, with a lot of encouragement from Gwil and Rami. Ben had been talking and dancing with a girl at the time, and seeing him with someone other than himself made Joe feel an unspeakable amount of jealousy. No one else knew about his feelings, though. Even though he trusted Gwil and Rami with his life, he couldn’t tell them. It was just too much. And it’s not like Ben was his property; they’d fooled around before a few times, but nothing more. It drove Joe crazy with feelings, but he had to push them down. As he watched Ben dance with that girl, he was almost certain that his friend was straight. Almost.
One thing had led to another, and they ended up spending the night together. It wasn’t for the first time, either, and it only worsened Joe’s feelings for the incredibly attractive man. Every time they ended up in bed together, Joe wondered if it was possible that Ben reciprocated those feelings. Wondered if there was at least a slight chance that Ben was even the tiniest bit not straight. But he was pretty sure that it was one sided, and that his thinking was just too wishful. It crushed him every single morning when he woke up alone. Usually without Cardboard Ben. That was a new thing, and remained a complete mystery to Joe.
It had to stop, for the sake of both of them. A big part of Joe didn’t want it to, obviously. He loved spending time with Ben. Of course, he worried that Ben wouldn’t want anything to do with him if he knew how his friend really felt about him. In hindsight, it seemed kind of stupid; Ben is his friend, and almost certainly wouldn’t react negatively, but doubt still clouded Joe’s judgement. So for now, his cardboard counterpart would have to suffice. He had to break this off somehow, before it drove him insane, and before he returned back to New York. Even if that meant breaking it off with Cardboard Ben.
“Hi. Yeah, hi. Yes. Hello,” Joe nervously stuttered, glancing sideways at Cardboard Ben as he spoke as if he were the real Ben, “I know, yes, we’re back. But listen up. Okay? Listen to me:”
Joe took a shaky breath, gathering his thoughts for only a split second. Even though he was talking to a piece of cardboard and it was stupid, somehow his worries already seemed to melt away. Despite all of his intrusive thoughts telling him to shut up, he knew deep down that this was the right thing to do. It was very unlikely that he would get a chance to tell this to Ben. At least, not for a long time. In three days time, Joe would be back in his apartment in New York, and all of this would be forgotten about. At least, he hoped so.
“I get it, okay? The physical chemistry is obvious, and we’re only human. Well I’m only human. But it doesn’t matter, okay? This can’t happen again.” Joe spat out, in one riled-up breath as he looked over at Cardboard Ben sternly.
Even though he literally was just talking to cardboard, Joe couldn’t help but feel cruel. He didn’t even think twice about what he was saying, because he didn’t think that it would matter. But nonetheless, before he turned back over to face away from Cardboard Ben, he quickly added: “I’m sorry. I’m leaving. Goodbye.”
And with that, Joe turned over to face away from Cardboard Ben with a small, almost inaudible sigh. He could have never said that to the real Ben - His Ben - but being able to speak his feelings aloud for the first time since he’d caught them felt kind of cathartic, and it was definitely a long time coming.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Joe mumbled for the second time that morning. As he rolled in his bed onto his left side, he had a strong feeling of déjà vu.
This could not be happening. Joe was almost certain that Ben had left last night after they’d slept together. He could have sworn on it. But there he was, in all his British glory, smiling like a fucking clown.
“Hey buddy.”
“Hey...” Joe greeted, with an incredibly flustered shit-eating grin. He had gone back through the process of waking up after spending the night with guys alone. He had never, ever kicked anyone out after he’d slept with them - Especially not Ben. The option was always there to stay, but it was very rare that someone would stay until the morning. “Uh, you good?”
“Yeah, I’m great.”
“Good. Have you met... Um..?” Joe began to stumble on his words as he looked in the direction of Cardboard Ben, desperately trying to figure out just how much of his rant Real Ben had actually heard without giving himself away, just in case.
“Yeah, we met last night,” Ben looked up at Joe with raised eyebrows, searching for any sign of a reaction. Yet, for the first time since he’d woken up, Joe felt incredibly calm.
In one swift motion, Joe pulled the covers up over their heads, and climbed on top of the British man. In that moment, he truly did not care if Ben had heard what he had said earlier or not. As soon as he saw Ben biting on his lower lip, he was a goner.