Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Chapter 1: Teases, Pranks, & Everything Ranked

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Author: Kintora

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A/N: Hey all, welcome to my AO3 posting of my old FF.Net story. Some of you who have followed this story over the years may have noticed that the writing has changed drastically. It was high time I revamped this story! I realize my hiatus couldn't be helped – life has a way of getting in the way. And trying to keep up with Kingdom Hearts has been more of a chore than an interest. Over a decade of impatiently waiting for KH3 will do that.

Some of it was also due to the frustration of returning to a story I could barely read without cringing over every other sentence.

But here I am – thanks to the continued interest in this story. Your words have weight and help re-inspire me over and over again. This new chapter is dedicated to those awesome individuals who have made the re-imagining of this story possible. I look forward to uploading the rest of this story on here and FF.Net in the future.

Enjoy!

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Just another day. Another six hours of school... And another two years of the same passing routine until she could leave purgatory. Kairi cast a quick glance at the clock in the school corridor and held in a deep, resigned sigh. She darted a furtive look around her as she approached her locker at the end of the hall. Would every day be like this? Always looking over her shoulder; always waiting for something horrible to happen?

So far, so good though. Maybe she could get through the day unscathed. No sooner had she thought that, her locker door jammed as she was trying to open it. Frowning, she elbowed it, wondering if she should bother finding help. Maybe she could switch to a locker that didn't jam all the time. Just as she was considering punching the damn door, the lock gave away, and a flood of hardcover books crested over her. Kairi gasped silently as she automatically tried to dodge the onslaught of falling books, only for one to smash the top of her foot. Tears sprang to her eyes as she clenched her fists and limped in place, willing the pain to go away as quickly as possible.

“Looks like someone’s off to a bad start this morning. You need a hand or something?”

Kairi froze. She didn't even have to turn around to know who that arrogant voice belonged to, and she didn’t even have to spare him a glance to know he was responsible. But she couldn't help shooting him an ugly look before she wordlessly reached down and started raking up the slew of errant textbooks – most of which were definitely not hers.

“Or maybe you've got this,” Sora continued, his blue eyes amused, “She never complains after all. Right, guys?”

There were a few chuckles and muttered affirmation around them, as a small crowd of onlookers started to accumulate. Her face burned almost as brightly as her hair under all the uncomfortable stares. No one spoke up for her, and she didn't expect them to. No one wanted to catch the same unwelcome attention as her.

Kairi balanced the neat stack of heavy textbooks in her arms, her chin barely clearing the top of the pile. Her gaze drifted over to meet her tormentor. As usual, he was not alone; always trailing a string of accomplices. Just like a stupid goldfish trailing a string of droppings. She had to struggle extra hard to keep from grinning at the thought, though she couldn't help the mocking tilt of her brow.

Sora must've noticed though, from the way his eyes hardened. But the infuriating grin on his face showed he wasn't done embarrassing her yet, as he stood in her way. From the corner of her eye, she saw Tidus and Wakka crowding her other escape route.

Wakka couldn't help but appear large and imposing. He was easily the tallest, brawniest boy in their year. As for Tidus, his normally sunny disposition seemed a bit absent, if not borderline uncomfortable. It was as if he wasn't all that interested in what was happening here. Honestly, the two of them didn't seem as awful as Sora. At least when he wasn't around, they just treated her like she was invisible. But in situations like this, Kairi couldn't help but think bitterly of them as Sora's loyal lap dogs. Eager for attention, and eager to please. They always followed his lead without much complaint.

Where were his other friends? Should she be worried that it was only the three of them this morning?

Kairi's patience waned and her arms trembled from the strain of holding too many books. She didn't have time to dawdle if she wanted to make it to class. She brushed past Sora, walking as briskly as she could without dropping her burden. Just when she thought she was safe from them, halfway down the hall, her ankle caught someone else's foot and she went down hard. Books scattered again in every direction around her as the boisterous hallway chatter went silent.

“Oops! My bad, I didn't see you there,” a bright, cheerful voice announced, “Here, let me help you.”

“Don't bother, Selphie,” Sora drawled teasingly, “Kairi’s a very strong, independent person.”

If Sora hadn't waved Selphie away, Kairi would have – she was just as much of a bully. It wasn't a surprise, seeing as they were just two peas in a pod. She was part of his circle of friends, and Kairi had never truly understood if the bouncy brunette was ever as sincere as her voice sounded. That girl was one of the worst gossips the school had ever seen. She wasn't to be trusted at all, if that were any indication.

Kairi glanced at the same clock in the hall, her hands absently stacking the books again. The crowd thinned rapidly as the other students noticed that class was about to start. Even Sora's friends were leaving. With an airy laugh, Selphie sprang over to the space between Tidus and Wakka. She latched onto their arms as she dragged them away, chattering gaily all the while.

She thought Sora had left with them, until a foot surreptitiously knocked over her stack of books. Irately gritting her teeth, she wished she had a pencil so she could stab him with it. But Sora had already walked away, waving without looking back at her. If she could gripe and scream, she would. But all she could do was watch the back of his head, and fight the sudden urge to light that unruly chestnut hair on fire. Instead, she pulled herself together and tried not to let the inane actions of Sora's clique get to her.

It sounded oddly cliché, but that's exactly what they were – an exclusive little club full of rich, snot-nosed brats. To others, they were never quite as mean. They were a glib bunch and even got along with most people, somehow. Usually coming across as a likable though puckish lot, they only turned beleaguering if they'd felt offended. What Kairi had possibly done to slight them in the first place was beyond her. It all started in ninth grade, when Sora moved back after years of living somewhere else.

How she and Sora had ever been friends in kindergarten was also beyond her. She hadn't even realized he was the same boy who used to share his colored chalk with her on the blacktop playground. At least, not until her friend Yuna mentioned it one day.

Now they were all juniors in high school. Just wait until their senior year, and he'd become absolutely unbearable. It was just how the system worked where she was. She was a nobody, and at worst, she was a freak. What an uplifting thought to start her day.

Kairi stood once more and carefully picked her way to class. Once she had safely managed to nudge open the door with her foot, Miss Tifa caught sight of her and hurried over to help. After putting the textbooks on a counter nearby, her English teacher crossed her arms and addressed her.

“Did another teacher ask you to deliver those, or did someone else give them to you?”

Kairi shrugged noncommittally with a careful smile.

“You know I hate it when you do that,” Miss Tifa said, brushing a stray lock of long black hair out of her face. “If you would just tell me the truth...” She hand-signed the last comment, 'I could write them up, you know?'

Kairi shook her head this time and motioned back with her hands. ‘I’m fine, it was nothing… Thanks though.’

Miss Tifa frowned. 'I wish you weren't so tolerant. I hate it when anyone messes with my favorite student!' This time she spoke aloud, putting her hands comfortingly on Kairi's shoulders, "School is a place where everyone should feel safe. I have to start class now, so go take your seat. We can talk later if you want.” Kairi nodded absently at the open invitation and turned silently away. Even with her back turned, she could feel her teacher's worried gaze boring into her.

After English, she trudged warily to P.E. It wasn't all that bad. While Mr. Leon was handsome, popular, and utterly humorless, Kairi gravitated towards the student teacher, Yuffie. She was always full of energy and strove to make class fun, even at Mr. Leon's expense sometimes. But today was a long, dreaded day. Why dancing was even part of the curriculum, eluded her.

The girls’ locker room was filled with giggles and lively conversations. But the instant she stepped in, the room quieted slightly and she could just feel some people's eyes following her. By now, most of them probably heard about what happened earlier. At least there was one welcome face in the gaggle of assembled girls.

“Hey Kai, I missed you!” Yuna glided over and hugged her. By the way her blue and green eyes roamed over her anxiously, Kairi could tell she had definitely found out about the embarrassing episode in the hall.

‘You just saw me yesterday,’ she laughed silently, and replied quickly with a few swift movements of her fingers and wrist, 'And before you ask how I'm feeling... I'm not feeling quite so homicidal anymore.'

Yuna frowned, “Well, you should be! I don't understand how they can be such jerks and get away with it.”

Kairi shushed her, glancing around to see if anyone else heard those words. 'Don't say stuff like that.'

Yuna signed back at her, 'I'm not afraid of them. And everybody thinks it. How could they not? If only they knew you like I did...' She dropped her hands, shaking her head. Yuna remembered the old days when Kairi could still speak. The two of them would always laugh and sing together. And now, she could barely even remember what Kairi's voice sounded like at all.

They changed quickly into their standard blue gym shirts and black jogging pants. Yuna had stopped insisting Kairi take off her long sleeve undershirt a long time ago. Kairi had always been doubly shy, and never seemed to sweat as much as the others anyway.

When everyone had left the changing rooms, Mr. Leon and Yuffie were passing out numbered slips of paper to half of the class. Afterwards, Yuffie explained the purpose of the numbers.

“Okay! Today we’re gonna start the short course on square dancing.” Already, people were making faces and groaning out loud. “Hey, hey, hey! I haven't even gotten to the good part yet,” she told them, somewhat sadistically with false cheer, “When your partners are chosen, you will be partners for the entire semester whether you like it or not. Now here’s how we’re doing it!”

Once everybody had settled down again, she continued waving her finger around in the air out of habit, “Now half of you have a number already! Those who don't have one will reach into that hat Mr. Leon's carrying, and take a piece of paper. Your partner will have the matching number. NO TRADING!”

A louder collective groan rose from the students, but Yuffie just shrugged carelessly and chided them. “Dance is all about working in harmony together. If you don't like that person – tough! You'll be learning how to get along with your partner. Each pair will line up like we practiced last class, and then we'll start when everyone's ready.”

Kairi noticed longing stares circulating the room as people were already making it known who they wanted for their partners. She and Yuna exchanged one of those looks, but Kairi knew the chance of being each other's dance partner would be abysmal.

After the hat was empty, Mr. Leon was back at his favorite post, leaning against the wall to supervise the class. Yuffie declared heartily, over the whispering, “Let’s start with lucky numero uno!”

Kairi saw Yuna raise her hand beside her. Curiously, she peered around. Not too far away, Tidus had his hand in the air too. Yuna's pale face colored, and Kairi couldn't help but snicker inwardly. She had the privilege of knowing her best friend still harbored a crush on Sora's blonde sidekick. Some things haven't changed all that much it seemed. Though she wasn't in favor of Yuna's interest in Tidus, she couldn't fault her either. If Kairi remembered correctly, Tidus had given Yuna his playdough when hers had fallen in the dirt at recess. It had been the start of her friend's secret crush. And though that story was ancient history, Tidus' small kind gestures made her grudgingly give him the benefit of the doubt.

This kept on going until the last number was selected. The last number, Kairi’s number.

Sweet Yevon, she thought with an inward shudder.

The only person remaining was the last - the VERY last person she would have liked to be paired up with. She would sooner entrust the Grinch with a key to her house than she would entrust Sora with her well being on the dance floor.

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Chapter 2: Missing Far-Off Memories

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Author: Kintora

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Kairi – dancing with him, her arch nemesis.

She fixed a deadpan look on Yuffie and Mr. Leon as they demonstrated the first series of steps. At least Mr. Leon seemed as uncomfortable as she felt. Was it too late to beg one of them to let her change partners? Mr. Leon was about as easily moved as a mountain, but Yuffie... If she let her switch, then that would set a precedent for everyone else to switch too.

Maybe she could feign sickness? Forge a doctor's note? Pretend to come down with a severe allergy towards human contact. Something remotely plausible to be acquitted from this hazardous exercise indefinitely. No matter how she mentally worked out the details though, her grade would suffer. If anything, P.E. was an easy A as long as one participated, and she really couldn't afford to falter in any subject. On top of running the gardening club and volunteering at the animal shelter, she needed a stellar GPA to get a generous scholarship to any good college. She had to get as far away as possible from here, by her own means. It was the only way.

A hand shook her out of her pensive thoughts, and Kairi looked up into Yuna’s worried eyes. Her friend didn't say anything, but gave her a gentle squeeze before heading towards her assigned partner. As everyone milled around sullenly, Kairi suddenly felt very… alone. Abandoned.

Who could blame her? It was Sora. He was probably pondering how many ways he could humiliate her before the class ended.

Kairi reluctantly closed the distance between them when she realized he was not about to approach her first. She avoided looking at him as she came to a stop. Only a few hours ago, he and his friends orchestrated the locker incident. Tomorrow, there would probably be cockroaches waiting for her if she was not careful. What she would really like to know was how they knew her locker was defective.

“The floor must be super interesting to look at,” he stated sarcastically.

She hadn't even realized she was staring at her feet. Forcing her glare upwards, she met his faint sneer with her own.

Fortunately, Yuffie’s shrill voice cut through the tension in the room, “People – hurry up already! Stop ogling each other awkwardly like you're all diseased, and fall in place like we showed you.”

During the first half of the class, Mr. Leon and Yuffie repeated the basics of square dancing to struggling couples. Throughout the period, Kairi was mainly aware of how much contact was required. She shuddered and thought how ridiculous it would be, holding hands with Sora and prancing around the room with him. At least Yuffie and Mr. Leon weren't evil, she assured herself. They’d never make anyone touch each other beyond hands and shoulders at most.

Almost as if he were reading her thoughts, Mr. Leon leveled his stony gray eyes over his students. “Next, you’ll be learning ballroom dancing. And after that, you will learn how to tango at the end of the year. There will be a district wide contest, so I suggest you pay attention.”

Her brain had to be jinxed.

Yuffie winked, completely tickled by the gobsmacked faces and hanging jaws. “Okay, into position everyone!”

Hesitantly, Sora and Kairi placed their hands in the correct arrangement, but were faking contact like a pair of preschoolers afraid of the cooties. Still, Kairi couldn’t help but feel the heat between their hands resonate with each other. It made her palms clammy. As their feet stumbled awkwardly out of sync, she couldn’t help but keep thinking about how absurd it was dancing with him.

Deep inside, Kairi felt uneasiness and embarrassment welling up. Dancing... It's not that she hated to dance. But to her, dancing was a special thing. Straining her gaze anywhere but at Sora, she looked for Yuna.

But Yuna wasn't looking for Kairi. She was too busy trying to dodge Tidus' clumsy feet as they rehearsed quietly.

Without much warning, the fast-paced music startled her. Yuffie clapped a tempo, signaling the class to get ready for real this time. As the class pitched into an unsteady chain of movement, Kairi also shuffled uneasily with the rest of them. At the same time, old memories came to the forefront of her mind.

“Daddy, let’s dance again!”

She snatched her hands away from Sora and stopped abruptly, disrupting the link of dancing pairs.

“Not like that, sweetheart,” her father said gently as he held Kairi's hand and turned her in circle, “Pirouettes are hard. You'll hurt your ankle if you twist around so quickly. Easy does it - that's my girl!” He lifted her up into the air and laughed with her.

“Mama, did you see that? I did a piro-pet!” Kairi squealed excitedly. Her mother looked up from the book she was reading on the couch, her warm eyes twinkling.

Kairi finally broke away and staggered back towards the locker room. She could feel her classmates staring curiously after her, but it didn’t matter once the door closed and she was ensconced safely inside the room. She didn't care what they thought. She couldn't bear another moment in the gym.

Her parents were never coming back. Ten years they've been gone. And the gravity of realizing she would never see them again was just as crushing as the last realization. She was reminded of that every day when she went home. She didn't need that buckling reminder of her painful existence here.

If only she had died with them. Maybe she would be happier wherever they were. No more secrets to keep. No more struggling to survive.

The door burst open to reveal Yuffie. Her face lined with worry when she found her student sitting miserably in the farthest corner.

“Kairi, is everything alright?”

The door opened again, and this time Yuna came to a breathless stop before her. She felt her friend's cool hand on her shoulder, but even the gentle contact didn't stir Kairi from her spot. “Kai?”

“Maybe she’s sick? I can ask the nurse to request she go home early…” Yuffie suggested but Kairi’s head snapped up and she shook it quickly.

Yuna looked at her friend questioningly. Sometimes she couldn’t understand Kairi very well with her mixed signals. She had stopped visiting Kairi’s house since the funeral. They had only been six then, and Kairi never wanted to be in that house. It had never been the same after that, so Yuna had taken it upon herself to invite Kairi over every time. Yuna's parents and younger brothers never minded. They loved her.

But now that they were older, Yuna was beginning to suspect there was more to why her friend hated going home.

“Why not?” Yuna asked mildly, “You'd probably be better rested at home than in the nurse's office.”

Kairi’s shaking hands fumbled for a response, ‘I don't want to trouble anyone,’ pointing to herself, Kairi motioned, ‘I’m okay, I promise.’

Yuffie looked at Yuna for help, but even Yuna was at a loss for words before finally asking timidly, “Are you sure?”

‘Yes. I don't need to go home.’

Yuna turned uneasily to Yuffie. “She wants to stay here. Is that all right?”

Yuffie nodded half-heartedly, “If that's what you want, Kairi. I’ll go convince Mr. Leon to let you two off the hook for today. I hope you feel better soon!” The mute girl simply nodded, waving gratefully as Yuffie left them alone in the locker room.

Once the doors had closed, Yuna sat down beside Kairi. The air was always easy between them, but now it was strained with unanswered questions. After a minute or so, Yuna broke the lengthy silence.

“Kairi, I know you don't want to hear it... but I'm worried about you,” Yuna hedged cautiously as she twisted her hands in her lap, “Can't you tell me what's really bothering you? All these years... I figured there were things you didn't want to tell me, even though we're best friends. I respect that, I do. But you know you can come to me for anything. You do know that, right?”

It's precisely because you're my best friend, that I've never told you... The redhead looked away. Glancing at the clock nearby, Yuna realized class was ending soon and decided to change out of her gym uniform. She motioned for Kairi to do the same. As they changed quietly, Kairi mulled over just how much information she could divulge to Yuna. Just enough to make her stop worrying, and stop asking questions.

Distracted by her thoughts, she wasn't expecting to feel a cool touch against her exposed backside. Shaken, Kairi yanked the rest of her long sleeve shirt down as quickly as she could. She cursed herself for not realizing how far it had ridden up when she pulled her gym shirt over her head. Keeping her face carefully guarded, she turned to meet Yuna's wide eyes.

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Chapter 3: No More Scattered Dreams

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Author: Kintora

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Before Yuna could say anything, the locker room door banged open and a flock of twittering classmates crowded in, giggling, laughing, and gossiping about all sorts of nonsense – like normal girls their age. Kairi and Yuna felt like outcasts in the lively atmosphere as they tried to ignore the loud banter.

Kairi glanced at her friend and the two of them left the packed locker room. However, before they could exit the gym, Yuffie caught them outside. “So where are you two headed next?”

“I have Calc, and Kairi has Physics,” Yuna smiled.

Yuffie was about to respond when Mr. Leon came over to check on them. “Are you feeling better, Kairi?” he asked.

Kairi nodded as he observed her with that impenetrable stone gaze. He seemed satisfied with her response and moved on to Yuffie, “Good job today, Kisaragi.”

“Couldn't have done it without you, sir!” Yuffie piped up, “This class will be full of pros in no time. Just watch! When we finally introduce them to ballroom dancing, it’ll be a cinch. Even you'll have fun on the dance floor!”

He seemed to be remembering something ironic as his normally unflappable expression twisted slightly. Mr. Leon gave Yuffie the faintest of nods, and acknowledged Yuna with another tilt of his head before sauntering away. Kairi could've sworn he muttered something along the lines of “I don't dance” as he left.

Yuffie let out a breath she was holding in, and drew Kairi's attention back to her. Yuna's smile widened mischievously.

“Is there something going on between you and Mr. Leon?” she asked innocently.

Yuffie gawped, covering her expression with a forced laugh. “Of course we're not dating! He's already got a girlfriend, you know.” Yuna and Kairi tried to hide their amusement, as Yuffie narrowed her eyes at them. “You sneaky little tonberries. You did that on purpose.” The dark-haired woman looked around, “I will make you two run a marathon if you ever tell another soul I said that!” She waved her fist for emphasis.

The bell rang just then, and Yuffie jogged off to prepare for the next lesson. A pink flush crossed her face as she passed Mr. Leon. As she began muttering a string of oaths under her breath, he paused to look oddly after her retreating figure. Yuna and Kairi took that as their immediate cue to leave, in case Mr. Leon turned to ask them what that was about. Neither of them fancied running even a mile in the rain.

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Yuna hadn't gotten a chance to grill Kairi with questions after that. They separated without much preamble, and Kairi found herself sighing in relief as she entered the quiet science lab. She chose her seat wisely near the front and set her things to the side.

Slowly, the rest of the class filed inside, a stream of noisy chatter bubbling in their wake. Miss Aerith closed the door behind her once she noted that all her students had arrived and were accounted for. She walked to the front of the class and waited for them to settle down as she flicked a piece of lint off her sunny pink dress.

“Class?”

The students immediately fell silent as their teacher began the lesson. Miss Aerith lectured about universal gravitation and special relativity, scrawling elegant formulas across the whiteboard for everyone to follow. Kairi took detailed notes on what her teacher was saying, knowing everything she mentioned now would be on the huge test at the end of the marking period.

Groans and other obnoxious sounds of general dissent rippled over the room as a few students made their vapid opinions known. Miss Aerith merely began passing out copies of her latest study guide.

“All right, everyone. I know you hate the quarterlies, and I'm about as fond of them as you are. Don't even get me started. It's a large part of your overall grade for this class, regardless. I promise everything on it will be topics we have covered in this class. Don't be discouraged if you need extra help! I'll be in the library during lunch every Tuesday and Thursday. Now, you’ll be dismissed-”

The buzzer rang, and the class was already nearly empty before she was even finished speaking. “Don't forget I'm here to help you! Have a good day everyone.” She shook her head wearily and went to erase the whiteboard.

Kairi picked up her belongings from the table and made her way to Miss Aerith's side. When her teacher turned a tired smile on her, Kairi held up the message she'd written in her notebook.

‘I'll see you in the library today! Thank you :)'

Miss Aerith seemed to light up again, and looked as if she was ready to hug her. “I knew you’d come. I'll see you soon.” Kairi gave her a thumbs up and hurried out of the room.

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Yuna was already waiting at Kairi’s locker when the redhead finally reached it.

“What took you so long?”

‘Talking about the Physics quarterlies.’

Yuna remembered. “Today's a Tuesday. Miss Aerith offered our class a chance to study with her at lunch. I want to go.”

'I'm going too,' Kairi told her.

The two friends walked through the brightly lit maze of hallways in their school, down the granite staircase and through the glass double doors of the library. Miss Aerith waved them over to a study table where she had the textbook propped open next to her lunch.

“Hi! I'm glad you're both here,” Miss Aerith said earnestly, “Seems like you two are the only ones taking this test seriously.”

For the rest of the time, they studied and reviewed their index cards. Once lunchtime was over, Kairi was feeling a little better about the test. Physics was one of her weaker subjects, and she was on a mission to nail it. They promised to meet each other again for the next study session.

Nothing much happened for the remainder of Kairi’s day and she was grateful for that. However, who knew much about tomorrow?

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A few days passed, and Kairi did her best to evade Yuna's probing look and carefully composed questions. After a while, Yuna stopped hedging around her altogether, though Kairi had no doubt she would try again when her guard was down. She certainly was not looking forward to fencing any more of Yuna's well-intentioned though unwelcome inquiries.

Kairi was already off to a bad start this morning, and she simply hadn't the energy to expend on anything but school related work. Winter was just around the corner and home seemed colder than she had ever remembered it… Warm memories no longer lingered in its familiar, though frozen confines. Shivering from the chill air during her morning jog to school, Kairi tugged the turtle neck up higher to cover more of her face.

At least Sora and his posse hadn't played any pranks on her since that wretched morning with the textbooks. And aside from P.E. two days a week, Kairi wasn't in any of Sora's classes. While she had classes with some of his other friends, nobody seemed to bother her. Granted, while there were still sneering remarks about her slightly dramatic episode in P.E. the week before, no one had gone out of their way to harass her.

In fact, Sora's best friend, Riku, had managed to surprise her. He was always so distant, and yet, one day he noticed when her pencil accidentally rolled off her desk. It stopped near his foot, so he picked it up and handed it back to her. While he only sat one desk away in Miss Tifa's English class, she had never seen Riku help any of their neighbors before. If Kairi had been honest with herself, she might have admitted his actions flustered her a bit. She hadn't even expected him to notice.

She couldn't help but observe him out of the corner of her eye after that. Today, he was slumped back in his chair casually – too long legged and broad shouldered for the uncomfortably small desks they were afforded. He carelessly brushed long silver bangs away from his face, his piercing aquamarine eyes focused on some obscure point near the front of the room. Around him, their classmates chattered about something the teacher had said. It wasn't until Miss Tifa's voice rose to reign in her students that Kairi's attention returned to the front of the room again.

“Settle down class! I have your personal essays graded right here. Remember, it was an exercise for you to get comfortable writing about yourself. Most of you did well, while others may need more work. Just another year, and then most of you will be writing personal statements for your college applications. And even if you're not going to college, you'll still find potential employers asking you to submit a cover letter.” Several people rolled their eyes but most of the class was hanging onto her every word. “Before I hand them back, I’d like to read a few memorable passages from your classmates.”

Praying she wasn't one of them, Kairi listened patiently to the thoughtful excerpts Miss Tifa had chosen. She kept the essays anonymous, but sometimes people could tell who certain essays belonged to. The end of class drew closer, and it seemed less and less likely that her essay would be chosen. She relaxed a little bit in her seat and started a little doodle in her notebook.

‘My childhood was a carefree one. With loving parents who held each of my hands in one of their own, I once intrepidly faced the road ahead.’

Kairi froze, unable to look up from the paopu fruit she was sketching. That was definitely her essay.

‘A storm tore them away one day, scattering us like fallen leaves. Suddenly, the gleaming road became obscured by an endless night. Many times I tried to crawl my way back to familiar ground, but life never works like that. Night remained the longer I tried to return to yesterday, and it was then I realized time moved forward. Alone, I struggled to place the faith I had in my parents in my own two feet. But the paths between light and dark often intertwine, and I would trip and fall on those gray crossroads.

I draw strength from my faith to get back up on my feet every time. But I find hope when I look beyond myself. It comes in the little but significant places: the hand from a fellow traveler that extends to help, and the gesture returned to pay that kindness forward.

My journey may have started with far-off memories and scattered dreams. Life constantly takes our treasures away, just as it gives us the essentials to carry on. For everything I have lost, I have also gained. While I may no longer have a voice, my heart speaks with certainty that just as dawn will always end the night, I will forge on and rise to meet it.'

The class looked around the room and Kairi could feel many eyes on her. She could’ve sworn her face was as crimson as her hair… But Miss Tifa merely smiled at her students and returned all their essays.

It was right after Miss Tifa’s class when it all happened.

And it happened all too suddenly.

Kairi stopped by her locker once more to grab a few things before her next class. She twisted the lock a few times before bringing an elbow against it when it remained jammed. She swung it open easily once the fickle lock grudgingly gave away. And then she stared.

Pieces of paper drifted out of her locker and fell to her feet. That had never happened before. She had always kept the contents of her locker neat and orderly.

The redheaded girl looked dazedly into her locker, frozen in stubborn denial. Time seemed to stop for one horrifying second before lurching forward again like an unsteady roller coaster. Goosebumps rose over every pore on her body, and she was suddenly aware of the aching throb of blood pounding through her head.

Her essay fluttered from her hand to the ground like a wounded bird.

Slowly, Kairi took her old, fraying backpack from her locker and ran her fingers over its faded, lavender canvas. The well-loved bag had been patched with safety pins and haphazard seams. It was one of the last items she had received from her parents, so she never had the heart to retire it. But now it was ruined beyond what she could repair.

She blinked hard, her mind struggling to understand how it had also gotten so dirty. Was that her lunch? The paper bag was shredded so completely, she hardly recognized it. Her sandwich and bottled water were completely unsalvageable.

Even her personal items hadn't been spared. Sketches, notebooks, and…and…everything. There was just nothing left for her here.

It had to be a test on her resolve – the cruelest of its kind. One she felt she would fail as at that moment, a dead weight descended upon her and she staggered.

Her dreams, her life, her words… She felt ridiculous for writing that paper now. Getting up every time she fell, meeting the dawn – all those pretty words her essay had just preached about, seemed strangely hollow to her now.

………

Three people hung back, waiting to watch Kairi's reaction when she opened her locker. And for once, Sora wondered if they had gone too far this time.

He admitted it was fun trying to get a rise out of her. No matter what they did to her in the past, Kairi always seemed so unmoved by their efforts. Their seemingly harmless pranks had become a running joke amongst them. But this time, he didn't have to see her eyes to know she was crying. And he certainly didn't know what to make of those silent tears, dripping from her chin.

There was something about the way she clutched that ugly purple backpack to her chest that made him start to regret this prank. He had intended to send her into a fit of rage, and maybe tease her some more as she attempted to berate them. All so he could enjoy the show and laugh about her antics later with his friends.

But this was not entertaining. Not even remotely.

Kairi sank to her knees suddenly. Her hands went to her hot, blotchy face, coming away wet with fresh tears. She rocked herself, trying to cradle the hurt inside her. She sniffed, rubbing her wet nose. It was not like any physical pain she had ever endured before.

This pain was so much worse. Her body could recover from bruises and broken bones, in a matter of weeks or months. But this would leave a wound for many, many years to come.

What had she done to deserve any of this?

“Don't cry so hard...” She could hear Selphie's unnerved voice, “It's not like you can't get a new bag. You can just get your parents to buy you a new one.”

My parents are dead, you self-entitled bitch! Kairi wanted to scream at her. But all she could do was shake her head, her shoulders trembling harder.

“We're sorry, Kairi. We... we just thought it would be funny, ya?” Wakka mumbled lamely. He turned uncertain russet eyes towards his friends, “Maybe we oughtta give her some space.”

“Just get a new one,” Sora told her gruffly, trying to cover up his growing unease, “If anything, we did you a favor. That thing was on its last legs.”

Sitting there in a weak mess, Kairi felt like a freak on display under the glaring fluorescent lights. There weren't a lot of people in the hall, but the three of them looming over her were already three people too many. A soggy corner of bread fell onto her lap from the locker door. She stared at it a moment in dull fascination. Pathetic. Gross. That's what she was. Disgusting. A weak, sniveling pile.

Drawing on her frayed vestiges of pride, Kairi launched to her feet. Her dilapidated bag hung from her hand as she turned to face her bullies.

Sora almost took a step back. Her normally wane, limpid eyes were cold, dark, and utterly fathomless. They didn't seem to belong to someone who had only lived for sixteen short years.

Her mouth was set in a tight, impassive line. Quick as a viper, her sharp fingers snagged the front of his shirt as she viciously drove her other fist into Sora's face. Blood filled his mouth and for a moment, his swimming vision turned dark from pain. Selphie cried out in alarm, and it was all he could do to catch himself against a row of lockers behind him. Already, his face was starting to color and swell where Kairi’s knuckles had impacted.

“What's going on here?” a new voice interrupted them.

Kairi didn't turn to watch Riku's approach. Instead, her soulless eyes flickered coldly over Sora's face, inspecting the damage she had dealt him. Satisfied, she turned sharply and shoved two people out of her way as she stormed past the ring of bystanders. She did not spare anyone a second glance.

………

Yuna was in gym class waiting for Kairi to appear, but when her friend failed to show up, she began to get extremely worried. Walking out of the locker room, she found Yuffie sitting on a metal fold-up chair, poring over some papers.

“Yuffie? Is Kairi out here?”

The dark-haired student teacher looked up and shook her head, “Well, no. I would have seen her coming in… Everything all right?”

“Yeah, of course! I was just wondering.”

Yuffie smiled reassuringly at the younger girl before returning to her work.

When class had started, Yuna noticed that Kairi was still missing. And so was Sora. An uneasy feeling grew inside her as the minutes dragged on, and neither of them appeared. After a short pep talk, the class separated into pairs.

Seizing the chance to talk privately with her partner, Yuna began without preamble. “Tidus, have you seen Sora today?”

The handsome blonde could not seem to meet her gaze. “No.”

Yuna frowned, noting his odd behavior. “How about Kairi?”

“I haven't seen her either.” Tidus shrugged, a tense knot forming in his stomach, “But from what Wakka told me, I'd say she's better left alone right now.”

“What? Why? Is she okay?” Yuna pressed urgently. She gripped his arm when he still wouldn't look her in the eye, “Please Tidus, you have to tell me what you know. What happened? I have to be there for her! I’m sure you would do the same for your friends.”

Tidus made the mistake of looking into her pale, earnest face and immediately found that he could not lie to her. “Sora happened. It was stupid, really. He and the others trashed her locker as a prank. They may have broken a few things, but no one was hurt. Well, no one but Sora. Kairi punched him, and now he's in the nurse's office.” Yuna’s eyes widened in shock, so he quickly tried to placate her, “Don't worry, I don't think she even got in trouble for it. She might need to replace some stuff, but she’ll be okay, Yuna.”

“No, she won’t!” Yuna snapped suddenly, her shocked expression turning thunderous, “Why can't you guys just leave her alone? What has she ever done to you? None of you understand her. Sometimes I don't either, and I'm the only friend she has! She's stubborn and secretive... And she never asks for help when she should! I have to go find her now.” Yuna turned away, leaving the circle of dancers. Tidus jogged after her, catching her arm.

“I’m really sorry about everything. I've always tried my best to stay out of it if I could.”

“Then why didn't you ever try your best to stop your friend from hurting mine?” His sincerity didn't soften Yuna's disdain one bit. She wrenched her arm from his grip impatiently. “Anyway, I don't get why you're even apologizing to me. I'm not the one who's hurt.”

Tidus ignored the curious stares, speaking quietly, “You're angry. That's reason enough.”

That gave the tawny-haired girl a short pause. “Of course I am. Wouldn't you be if you were in my place?”

“Hey you two,” Yuffie materialized beside them as they were talking, “Are you both deaf? I've been calling your names! I hope you don't plan on making class disruption a habit, Yuna.”

“No, I don't mean to cause trouble,” Yuna told her, breaking eye contact with Tidus, “I really need to go find Kairi though.”

Yuffie looked over her shoulder to see Mr. Leon walking over. She ducked her head and spoke quickly, “I can't let you do that.”

“Please Yuffie!” she pleaded, “Can't you come with me? I know something bad has happened to her.”

“What do you mean?” Yuffie asked, startled by Yuna's intensity.

“Kisaragi,” Mr. Leon said abruptly as he neared, “Is there a problem here?”

Tidus answered gravely, “Yes, Mr. Leon. It's very serious. Yuna told me she was having some really severe cramps today, and doesn't feel well enough to dance.”

Yuna closed her eyes and counted to ten. Yuffie on the other hand, caught on and nodded slowly, “Yes... That's right. I should take her to the nurse's office.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Leon looked slightly gray in the face. “I see. Hurry and go. I'll take care of the class.”

“Can Tidus come with us?” Yuna suddenly inquired sweetly, “I'd feel better if he could carry my things. And it's not like he can dance without a partner today. He wouldn't be missing much, would he?”

“Sure, whatever,” Mr. Leon said shortly, “I hope you feel better, Yuna.”

As he turned away to rejoin the class, Yuna leveled a calm look on Tidus' smug face. “I hate you, you know that?”

“Okay you two,” Yuffie sighed. “Quit flirting, and go get your things. We have less than one class period to locate Kairi. If we can't find her, I'm making you both run laps after school to make up for playing hooky.” She raised her arm and punched the air for emphasis, though it lacked her usual energy. “Although, I sure hope you're wrong, and that Kairi's all right.”

………

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Chapter Text

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Chapter 4: Silence Before the Storm

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Author: Kintora

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………

“What’ve got there?” Selphie asked, chewing on her granola bar as she watched Sora curiously.

Riku looked up from his sandwich to see his friend reading the crinkled essay clutched in his hand. Returning to his lunch impassively, Riku inwardly shook his head. He knew what it was. He'd heard Miss Tifa read part of it during his English class, and he'd be a liar if he said it hadn't peaked his interest. Meanwhile, Wakka reached over and tried to snatch the sheet from Sora’s grip, but the brunette just moved it swiftly out of his reach.

“Aw, come on man. Whatcha readin’?”

“Yeah! You can tell us. What is it?” Selphie encouraged, casually tossing her empty juice box into a nearby bin, “Well?”

Sora shook his head and stuffed what he was reading inside his pocket. “It’s nothing important, guys.”

Selphie quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Then it wouldn’t be so important that you couldn’t share it with us.” She nudged his arm, wheedling for more information, “Is it from a girl? You've got a ton of admirers! What’s so special about this one?”

“Selphie, just drop it.”

For a moment, his curt reply created a vacuum of uncomfortable silence at their table, even as the rest of the room’s mixed conversations continued humming all around them. Riku cleared his lunch away and rose from his seat. “You suck at lying, Sora.”

Sora shot an annoyed look at his best friend, but Riku was already on his way out the door. The guy must've been a cat in a previous life, he thought. Nothing held his attention for long, and no one ever really knew what he was thinking. Though the two of them had been friends since before Sora could remember, he wasn’t able to read his friend all the time. But as he watched him leave, Sora had the distinct impression that Riku wasn't impressed by his latest antics.

Not that he needed Riku's approval for anything. Sora pressed his fingers over the bandage near the corner of his mouth. His jaw throbbed in protest.

No one noticed that Tidus had finished his meal as well. Only when the blonde stood up, did anyone else realize he hadn't spoken all lunch. “I'm going too. I'll see you guys later!” He dumped his trash out and left the cafeteria.

Everyone watched him leave, a feeling of foreboding settling over all of them.

“What's got into him, ya?” Wakka wondered aloud, rubbing the back of his neck.

Just then the lunch bell rang and they all pushed away from the table, moving through the crowd to prepare for their next class.

………

Kairi was sitting on a bench outside in the courtyard, absently rolling her thalassic shell pendant between her fingers. The necklace was warm from her touch, but Kairi liked to imagine that the heat came from under its smooth, white surface. She could still remember how happy she was when she got it.

“Happy birthday, Kairi!” her mom brought out the birthday cake. It had taken the entire day to bake - an eternity by her standards. The sweet aroma lofted throughout the small house, making the wait even more unbearable. Once the cake left the oven in its entire crisp, golden glory, her mother had worked at icing the masterpiece and placing the candles. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Kairi had taken the liberty to peek at her cake in the making anyway.

It turned out to be quite a mouth-watering sight. The dessert was completely coated with her favorite strawberry buttercream. Five brightly lit candles glowed in the dimmed room and glazed fruit bejeweled the cake in a ringed border with colorful patterns. It was perfect, and had been the most delicious cake she had ever eaten.

After the celebration was over and everyone had left, her mother pulled out a small square box. “Kairi, do you remember the other day when Daddy and I took you to the beach?”

“Uh huh!” the little girl giggled, “We made a sand castle! It was the biggest one there. I checked.” Kairi nodded proudly to herself.

“You also found the prettiest white shell on the whole beach, and put it on your castle. I want you to remember how much fun we had that day, so I took it home with me and made this for you. Do you like it?”

Kairi opened the box as carefully as she could and stared at the perfectly polished shell pendant in awe. It was plain, but it was so beautiful it almost glowed. Suddenly, she remembered exactly what the sand castle looked like, how warm and windy it was that day, and how she almost flew off with her kite - screeching with glee as her father chased her down the shoreline. “Thanks, Mama! It’s pretty, I like it lots.”

Her mother smiled down at her, bright indigo eyes sparkling. “I’m glad you do, honey. Keep it safe and remember that I’ll be with you forever. Even when someday you can’t see me anymore, I’ll always be there for you.”

“Like this?” Kairi covered her face before flinging her tiny hands away, “Peek a boo! I see you!” She grinned cheekily up at her mother.

“That's right... Just like that, my little goof. I love you.”

‘I love you too.’ Kairi murmured silently to the wind.

Her mother’s voice echoed eerily in her ears, “…Even when someday you can’t see me anymore, I’ll always be there for you…” Goosebumps rose over her skin and she shuddered, warming her hands with her breath.

Her only company had been the brief but welcome touch of sunlight whenever the clouds occasionally parted in the sky. But even that couldn't chase away the ice in her veins. That was more or less how Yuna, Yuffie, and Tidus found her. Sitting outside, shivering alone in the faint autumn light. She had absently explained that she couldn't go back to class. In the end, no amount of convincing from Yuna or Yuffie could get her to budge.

She had been slightly curious how Tidus had been roped into their search party, but it wasn't too hard to piece together the puzzle. He even made an attempt to coax her indoors, flimsily citing the cold weather. Kairi had staunchly ignored him. Just seeing him standing there awkwardly reminded her of Sora. Perhaps it was unfair of her to treat him so coldly, but she didn't care anymore.

For a while now, she had been convincing herself to stop letting anything matter. Pain only hurt her if she cared about it. So whatever happened to her now... well, she just didn't care anymore.

And that was how withdrawn she felt. So cold, she could hardly feel her face, her fingers, or her toes. The jacket Yuna had lent her did little to combat the chilly air. But as per her wishes, her friend had left her alone. Yuffie and Tidus had reluctantly retreated with her, promising to check on Kairi later.

The north wind combed her red hair with icy fingers. It grazed her frigid face, tugging her chin up towards the clouded sky. A small puff of white mist left her mouth, and Kairi watched the wind snatch her breath away greedily.

Why hadn’t the crash taken her life as well so she could be with her parents? How had she even survived that kind of accident? Kairi’s brow knit as she tried to remember those final moments. Recalling memories of the accident had always been so difficult, and there were so many holes. But she remembered her mother’s face looking down at her. Frantic, stricken. If she had moved out of the way – maybe Kairi could have died with them.

But all she remembered were vague lights and noises she didn't understand. She remembered the hot, suffocating taste of blood as it escaped past her lips. It had bubbled endlessly in her throat, threatening to drown her. The pain had come from everywhere and nowhere. She couldn't really remember how any of it had happened.

During her stay at the hospital, she could recall seeing faces she didn't recognize. She didn't even know if they were real or not – sometimes not even knowing if she was awake or dreaming. When Kairi had finally come around, the doctor… The doctor had told her that she had died briefly, but came back to life. He said it was a miracle. But she knew better. She was damned, and Kairi knew it the instant she realized her parents hadn't survived alongside her.

Kairi shook her head. No. No! She was thinking too much! Her memories were going to overwhelm her again.

The pendant disappeared between Kairi’s fingers as she squeezed it tightly in her palm. She buried her face against her knuckles and rocked silently. The old silent mantra of her screaming and begging rang loudly in her head…

Kairi.

Kairi?

Kairi!

Someone’s hand shook her sore shoulder, making her flinch away in pain. She stood up quickly, dragging in a deep breath to cool her nerves, only for her breath to freeze in her lungs. Staring at the intruder in stupefaction, she fought the urge to pinch herself. She had to be dreaming. No, it was a waking nightmare.

“I’ve been calling you for a while but you didn’t respond.” Sora stood guardedly before her, hands deep in his pockets.

Quickly, Kairi scrubbed her face in frustration, wondering if she was truly hallucinating. When he didn't disappear, she snatched up the sad remains of her bag from the bench and strode away. She didn't care what he had to say, and wasn't even going to give him a chance to say his piece.

“Wait, Kairi...” Sora jogged alongside her, even after she abruptly switched directions. “Hold on! I need to talk to you.”

Kairi winced when he grabbed her arm. Throwing him her most forbidding glare, she twisted out of his grasp and feinted another punch. Sora jumped back to dodge her, just as she turned again to leave him in her dust.

Undeterred, Sora caught up to her as she was leaving the school grounds. Now that they were no longer in sight of anyone who might recognize them, Sora felt himself acting a little desperate pacing doggedly alongside her. He had no idea where they were headed and was resigned to follow her wherever she went. Knowing she couldn't shake him off her tail, he seized the opportunity to talk freely.

“Look. I’m sorry… for wrecking your things. I really am. I shouldn't have done that, and I wanted to tell you I regret what I did.”

Kairi sped up so that Sora practically had to run to overtake her path, forcing her to a grinding halt. “At least let me give this back to you.” He held out a wrinkled piece of paper to her.

She was about to dismiss the item in his outstretched hand, until she realized what it was. Staring at it, she hesitated a moment before she took her essay back from him. Had he read it? When Kairi looked up again, she realized he must have, if he thought it was important enough to track her down and return it to her.

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Chapter Text

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Chapter 5: Revealed Truth

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Author: Kintora

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Tidus trekked up the stairs after the bell. He had promised Yuna earlier that he’d meet up with her in the studio classroom so they could talk privately. He sighed, pausing in the stairwell. He could barely imagine how this talk would turn out.

He didn't even know her that well. Sure, they'd taken some of the same classes in the past and she was one of the few faces he recognized from primary school. But he'd never really thought to make an effort to talk to her.

She had always been the drab, tawny-haired girl who lingered in the background. Aside from her unusually colored eyes, nothing about her really stood out. Her clothes were always old or stained – she was just that quiet art kid. Smart, bookish, maybe talented, but entirely forgettable. Her best friend was the school mute, and no one really knew why she hung out with Kairi other than the fact that they were childhood friends.

Now that he thought about it, Yuna was the only person he knew of other than the redhead, who could use sign language. And she was not handicapped like Kairi. Had she learned it because of her friend? He was ashamed to say that he never found Yuna interesting enough to find out more about her.

This morning had shaken up his entire perspective of Kairi, of his own friends – of her, Yuna.

Yuna was not drab. She was straightforward, to the point of intimidating if she wanted to be. Her sense of humor was a strange mix between sweet and dry. And when she cared about someone, she was not afraid to stand up for that person in every way she could.

She was radiant. And he had to have been blind to have never noticed.

Reaching the top, Tidus turned left and opened the door to the art studio. It was quiet inside, now that it was their free period. Most people were probably outside in the courtyard, soaking up what little warmth was left before winter. He and Yuna had met up earlier after lunch to check on Kairi, but the redhead was gone. They had scoured the area outside for her, but she had disappeared.

Yuna was prepared to ditch school, but surprisingly, he was the one who convinced her to stay. Tidus, the typical popular jock and underachieving student, had convinced her to go back to class and to meet again during their free period.

If only his other friends could see him with Yuna... what would they think? Tidus frowned.

Screw what they thought, he told himself for once. Especially Sora. Tidus had been against the idea of teasing Kairi. He didn't understand Sora's motives. But he stood aside like a coward, because he didn't want to cause any conflict with his friend. He especially didn't want to be relegated as the butt of a running school joke – like Kairi. But this last incident drew the line. He couldn't even look Sora or Wakka in the face during lunch. It was all he could do to finish eating his food and beat a hasty retreat.

It wasn't his first time in the art studio, having taken a class there thinking it would be an easy grade. He was wrong of course, and barely scraped by with the minimal amount of effort he put into it. But he couldn't deny there was something peaceful about the floor to ceiling windows and open space. Normally, it was a lively place filled with people. But at the moment, there was only one figure sitting near the windows, hunched over a pottery wheel.

Yuna had her arms elbow deep in clay, concentrating on spinning the ball of mud between her steady hands. She had been so deep in thought, that she hadn't heard Tidus come in until he said her name.

“Hey Yuna.”

She turned around and smiled shyly at him. “Hey.”

“Do you need help?” Tidus asked. Wait, why the heck was he asking to help her? He didn't know the slightest thing about making pottery.

If Yuna wondered the same thing, she didn't show it. Instead, she seemed content to include him. “Sure. You can grab a smock in that closet,” she nodded her head in some general direction, “I’m just working on a side project. Miss Lulu asked me to help her make some more pieces for the spring crafts sale.”

Tidus walked over to the blue utility closet to retrieve something to protect his designer clothing from the muck. Getting his good clothes stained was one reason why he hadn't tried so hard with his art class. Hiding his aversion, he threw the smock on and rejoined Yuna in her corner.

Sitting down on a stool across from her, he couldn't help but grimace a little as soon as she handed a large, moist ball of clay to him. Patiently, Yuna helped him set up his wheel and showed him how to begin shaping the clay. But no matter what he did, Tidus couldn't seem to make the clay look like something more than a wad of misshapen dung.

When he told Yuna this, she simply shrugged. “I think you're doing all right.”

“Really?” he asked dubiously.

“Really,” she assured him, her expression turning thoughtful, “The last time I tried to teach another student, I got a face full of clay. It was an accident, of course. But let me tell you, this stuff doesn't taste very good. So thank you for keeping it on the wheel.”

Tidus couldn't help but crack up at the thought. “Now how did that happen?”

She looked over at him mischievously, flooring the pedal. She did something to the clay on her wheel that knocked it off balance. Before he could do more than jerk backwards, the clay splattered over the both of them. Tidus wiped some off his cheek, blinking owlishly at her.

Yuna pursed her lips, but then burst out laughing at his bewildered expression. “Oh gosh! You should've seen your face!”

“Was that really necessary?” Tidus asked peevishly, though there was no real bite to his words.

“You set yourself up. And I just couldn't help it,” Yuna said, trying to sober up. Clay marred her hair and clothes as well, though she didn't seem to care at all. When she was able to school her features again, she tilted her head to the side like she was considering her next words. “All joking aside, I’m really glad you're here, Tidus.”

Tidus wasn't accustomed to feeling diffident around anyone. He tended to be loud, enjoying the spotlight, but five minutes alone with Yuna made him feel somewhat self-conscious of the smile on his own face. “Really? After this morning, I thought you were determined to hate me. I've never seen you so angry before.”

“I was,” Yuna acquiesced calmly, though her face was somewhat strained, “Kairi's been through so much. You know, her parents died in a car accident when she was only six. She was the only one who survived, though not entirely unscathed.”

“I had no idea.” Tidus was ashamed, and more than a little sympathetic, “I can relate a little though. My mom died when I was a little kid too. It left my old man in a pretty bad state, especially since I look so much like her. Now I live with my uncle Auron.”

“I'm sorry to hear that, Tidus,” Yuna's expression softened. “To be honest, I haven't suffered much... not like Kairi, or like you. I have both of my parents, and three younger brothers who annoy me so much that sometimes I wish I could pawn them off to a traveling circus. But the very thought of permanently losing my family is so paralyzing, I can't help but get a little overprotective of Kairi. She's our age, but she's always been more like a little sister to me.”

Tidus remained quiet, so he could absorb her every word. But Yuna seemed to take his silence as disinterest. “Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's been a trying day. I haven't even stopped to thank you for bailing me out of P.E... Even if it was a little unconventional, with you mentioning my non-existent menstrual cramps to Mr. Leon of all people.”

“Hey, at least it worked, right?” Tidus grinned easily, “And don't worry about it. I think I'm beginning to understand, which is something. You've probably noticed, but I'm not exactly the brightest light bulb around.”

She didn't seem that amused. “I think you're more intelligent than you pretend to be. I may even hazard to say you play dumb for the benefit of others. Maybe to distract yourself as well. Is it hard being friends with them?”

Tidus was shocked, but overcame it quickly enough. He chuckled softly, “You should become a shrink someday, Yuna. You're good at getting under people's skin.”

Her green and blue eyes widened. “I didn't mean to irritate you.”

“I'm not irritated, just... unsettled,” Tidus backpedaled awkwardly, “This feels like a real conversation. Even more real than discussing the birds and the bees, if you know what I mean.” He grinned cheekily.

“You're doing it again.”

A brief beat of silence passed, and Tidus fidgeted slightly in his seat.

“You drive a hard question,” he finally shook his head, the curve of his mouth twisted. “Days like today make it hard being friends with them.”

Yuna leaned forward. “I always thought you were a lot nicer than you let on too. Looks like my intuition was right. How'd you get mixed up with them?”

“Well, they're not bad people if you get to know them. Sora and Riku were always popular and well-liked. I guess that's why I wanted to become friends with them in the first place. We go back a long time. If I acted more like them – became one of them – that would make me well-liked too. Strong, even.” Tidus was surprised how easily his story came to him, and how easy it was to tell her things he had never told anyone else. “I used to be overly sensitive as a kid. A complete crybaby. My old man never stopped egging me on, saying that I'd never catch up to him. He'd tell me I'd never be a man if I always cried when I got hurt. But he was the weak one for abandoning me on Auron’s doorstep. That’s when I promised myself I'd become twice the man he ever was. How hard could it be? He was a coward for running out on me, just because it hurt too much to look at my face.”

“Do you feel stronger now?” Yuna asked him quietly.

Tidus hadn't realized his gaze had lowered to the floor. Now he found himself leaning over his knees, his fingers laced. Looking up at her, he regarded her solemnly. “I feel weaker than ever, and twice the coward after this morning, Yuna. I'm no better than someone who stands on someone else just to make himself feel taller.”

Wordlessly, she got up to wet a few clean paper towels in the sink. When she returned she handed some to him. He took them gratefully but made no move to clean himself up. When she sat down again, she didn't have any sweet nothings to offer him. Knee jerk responses like “It's okay” and “Don't be so hard on yourself” would just sound like empty words.

“It seems you now believe real strength isn't what you thought it was,” She observed thoughtfully, “You don't sound like the way you’ve described your father. And you don't sound like the person you thought you were before either. Who do you want to be now?”

Tidus' first reflex was to say he didn't know anymore. He wasn't sure of a lot of things, but he was sure of one thing at least. “I want to be someone you'd be happy to call your friend.”

Yuna's heart skipped a beat, completely flummoxed. And then she smiled.

………

Kairi didn't seem inclined to respond at all. Instead, she turned away and started to walk around him.

“You know... you have a really powerful right hook. Where'd you learn to punch like that?”

She knew he was just baiting her to stay and listen to him, but something about the way he said it so warmly without a trace of malice... it made her stop. Oddly, that was the nicest thing she could remember him saying to her. The very thought made her want to laugh over the absurdity of the situation.

Wouldn't you like to know... She thought wryly, finally turning to look back at him. He seemed encouraged to continue talking, pointing at his split lip.

“The nurse was afraid you'd given me a concussion. I didn't tell on you though...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It was really my fault. I deserved it.”

Kairi narrowed her eyes at him cynically, trying to ascertain if he was seriously apologetic or not. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, she reluctantly gestured for him to follow her. Not far ahead, there was a small park with a playground Kairi passed by every day to and from school. When they arrived, it was empty, so she showed him to the lonely swing set and sat down. Swinging slowly in place, she mimicked writing against her palm and raised her brow at him expectantly. After all, her bag didn't have any of its usual contents anymore.

Sora caught on, “Here.” He set down his bag and pulled out a notebook and pencil for her.

It was so much more tedious trying to write without feeling self conscious of his gaze on her. Kairi had to take a moment to think before she wrote, missing the instant communication she could hold with someone else who knew sign language.

There was so much she wanted to say to him, most of it angry and accusatory. She wanted to tell him he deserved that punch, and if it would make her feel the slightest bit better, she would punch him again. But hitting him wouldn't make her feel better. And now wasn't the time to express pointless hostility. Even if she were to get a thousand apologies from him, what then? No matter how sorry he was, he wouldn't be able to change the past. What was done, was done.

She showed him her message: What'd you want to talk about?

“I know it seems shallow now... but I wanted to say sorry. I wanted you to know I meant it,” he mumbled haltingly, unused to apologizing so much. When she didn't move to respond, he continued a little more soundly. “I wanted to explain myself, but now that we're sitting here, I don't think there's anything I can say to justify what I did to you. It was stupid and lousy. I went too far.”

Kairi wrote back surprising him at how quickly and neatly she could write: Then why did you? All this time, I wondered what I could've possibly done to make you hate me so much.

“I don't hate you. I just...” Sora shrugged helplessly, “People thought you were weird, and it was easy to poke fun at you. I don't exactly know how it really started. It just... You were just easy to tease.”

Because I can't talk back. I can't defend myself. I was just an easy target for you and your friends. I was just a laughing stock you could all bond over. Kairi's neat writing took on harsher lines as the pencil tore across the paper. Like parasites, you all fed on my humiliation. Maybe you were even proud of yourselves. Do you expect me to just accept your apology and move on?

Sora sat silently on the swing, his hands growing cold even though they were tucked into the pockets of his jacket. “At this point, I can't expect or ask anything of you. I don't even know what I can do to begin making up for being such a jerk. If you have any ideas now, I'd like to know. Maybe you could give me a matching bruise on the other half of my face. I'd let you, if that would help you move on.”

Kairi sat rigidly in her swing. The aimless tempo she had moved to was absent. A deeper tension built between them, and she couldn't understand why Sora wasn't getting up to leave as the minutes dragged on. He was clearly uncomfortable, looking anywhere but at her. His body was just as frozen as hers, and they must've made an odd sight. Like statues, unmoved by time.

But then the long moment was broken by the sound of people coming. It was early afternoon, and a pair of conversing adults arrived with two young children in tow. Kairi couldn't tell if the women were a couple, mothers, or babysitters, but the two rowdy children were clearly close as they chased each other through the jungle gym nearby. When Kairi set pencil to paper once more, her words were composed and neatly formed again.

I believe violence is rarely the answer, though I know the urge to fight back is only natural. So I do feel bad for hitting you when I got angry. But I'm not sorry, and I can't take it back even if I wanted to.

Sora made a sound under his breath, as if he had expected something along those lines but still managed to be surprised. “If you feel that way about violence, what was it I did that made you really lose it? I thought what we did today wasn't really any different than what we usually do... I hate to admit it, but you were kind of scary.”

Kairi held up her bag and looked at it pointedly. My parents got this for me. That's why it's so old.

A chill that had nothing to do with the cold passed through him. He swallowed hard. “In your essay... You mentioned they were gone. And you sounded close to them.”

I was, Kairi fidgeted with the pencil.

“I'm sorry,” Sora shook his head, “More sorry than I can possibly express.”

They're probably some place better now. She shrugged stiffly, unused to seeing him like this. He seemed almost haunted by something.

When he spoke again, she had to strain to hear him over the raucous squeals from the occupied playground. “That's just something people tell you to make you feel better about getting left behind.”

She wanted to ask him who he'd lost then, but decided she didn't know him well enough to ask him a question like that. Kairi looked away. The longer she sat there with him, the less like a simple-minded, ignorant jerk he seemed. It would have been so much easier to hold onto her anger, forever pegging him as a rotten individual she could just forget about once she graduated. Any longer in his confusing presence and he might actually start to come across as a decent human being, she thought aporetically.

He had probably experienced some pain in his life too, for him to say something like that. So it baffled her how he could possibly come across as so apathetic when he was bullying her. Forgiveness was a long way off. She wasn't a saint. Bitterness had taught her how to hold a grudge, and it was the hardest feeling to shake.

And yet... Grudgingly, she didn't think she hated him anymore.

“It was more than the bag though. I've been in enough fist fights to know the difference,” Sora suddenly said, a little louder this time. He turned the full force of his sky blue eyes on her, injecting a little playful guile into his voice. “How was today the exception?”

Kairi scoffed. I was in a lot of pain. You weren't the only one who chose to hurt me without real cause or reason today. For once in my life, I just wanted to hit back.

Almost as soon as she moved to show him her words, she snatched the notebook back and stood up abruptly. Sora was startled into standing as well, noting the growing anxiety on her pallid face. “What is it?”

Ignoring him, she quickly scrubbed the eraser over her last answer. She mentally cursed when she realized it was one of those crappy erasers that smeared and embedded the graphite deeper into the surface. Frustrated, she was about to rip the sheet straight out of the notebook, but Sora swiped it out of her hands before she could.

“Hey, that’s mine! What's the matter?” He asked bewildered by her panic, but also feeling a little devilish. “Relax, whatever you wrote can't be that bad. Besides, I don't want to lose this conversation. It'll remind me not to be such a blockhead in the future.”

His eyes scanned the words, but Kairi didn't wait for him to finish. She was already booking it out of the small park, causing the women and children to stare after her as she ran away.

“Kairi, wait up!” Sora's feet were moving to follow her, but he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the words she had tried to take back. He didn't get far when he realized she had left her lavender bag behind. Doubling back hastily, he snatched it up, only to pause again when a shiny, small object caught his eye. It was a smooth shell pendant, which he vaguely remembered her wearing. She must've also dropped it there by accident.

By the time he reached the sidewalk, she was long gone. Shaking his head, he turned towards home, wondering what to make of their vexing conversation in the park. A sharp peal of laughter in the distance caught his attention, and he found himself transfixed by the young boy and girl. They had taken his and Kairi's spots on the swings, happily trying to outdo each other.

A strong, choked feeling passed through him – something that felt like nostalgia. Although the children were both brunettes, he could just as easily imagine the little girl, as a boy with short red hair.

He shook himself, pinching the bridge of his nose and turning swiftly away. What a strange time to be thinking of his old, childhood playmate. He didn't dwell on the matter though, tucking the tattered purple backpack under his arm as he made his way down the afternoon streets.

………

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Chapter Text

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Chapter 6: Living in a Nightmare

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Author: Kintora

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Kairi let her feet trudge heavily in the direction of her house. How could she call the place ‘home’ if it was nothing but a mere structure she slept inside? The wind picked up just at that moment making her wince and shiver. She rubbed her hands fervently together. Home or not, she needed it to survive. And the people living there needed her to survive.

Rounding the corner, she approached the dull, two story house at the end of the street. She'd been raised there, but with each passing year, the place looked less and less like she remembered it. The once vibrant blue shutters were bleached and weathered. Some were even missing. The lawn was brown and overgrown with weeds as she rarely found the drive or energy to take care of it. It often looked haunted, as the lights were minimally used and ominous sounds could often be heard through the walls.

Kairi's house was easily the saddest one on the block.

Taking out her house key, she unlocked the door and opened it as quietly as possible. Sure enough, there was an argument unfolding in the kitchen, but the tirade stopped when the screen door clicked shut with a snap.

Heavy footsteps thundered into the living room where she stood motionlessly on the faded welcome mat with a blank mask fixed firmly in place. Her heart thudded uncomfortably fast in her ribcage, but she would not let her discomfort show if she could help it.

“She's back, Leblanc!” the large, bulky man seethed, his hard jaw clenching as he started towards her. Kairi flinched, but stood her ground. “Where the hell have you been, you stupid little bitch?!”

A woman's voice hissed snidely as she followed him into the room, “Stop yelling already! Don't you ever learn? That girl is dumb in every sense of the word.” She brushed glossy, red nails through her artificially bleached hair. Casting a venomous look towards Kairi, her lip curled, “As for you... We received a call from the school. You should know better than to skip. Because of that, the agency was notified. And they weren’t happy. You made us look like irresponsible fools when we couldn't tell them where you were! Do you really want them to take you away? You would lose everything.” Her violet eyes narrowed even more, and Kairi couldn’t help but look away. Those eyes were so familiar they hurt. “If I weren't your mother's sister, they'd have taken you away from here already.”

Her uncle ignored her aunt, and grabbed Kairi’s arm. Dragging her up against him so he could continue yelling in her face as he shook her like a rag doll. She hadn't realized she was biting the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood. Experience taught her not to cry, not to show any emotion even as he berated her.

She had been in a similar situation that same morning anyway. Her aunt and uncle had argued about his drinking and not finding a job after the last place had fired him a few months ago. It had looked bad, and social services had come then to check on them. To receive that government stipend, they had to remain her legal guardians. To remain her legal guardians by not drawing the attention of social services, they had to both be employed.

At least, that was the basic reasoning she had gleaned over the years. To them, she was just a free meal ticket and a place to stay. Before her parents had died, she had no idea they even existed for her mother and her aunt had been estranged. She had no other family, and as a child who had just lost her parents, she hadn't wanted to leave her home. Somehow, when her aunt and uncle seized custody of her, they also seized some of her parents' assets which they squandered.

Two more years. Two more years and she would be free. The faint ghost of a smile touched her lips, but was not lost on her uncle. He grew puce in the face, all the way to his silver hairline, and bodily threw her against the wall.

“I'LL TEACH YOU TO LAUGH AT ME, YOU WHORE!”

He grabbed her by the hair and hauled her to her feet, dragging her up the stairs. Involuntary tears crowded the corner of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Thrusting her into her room, he grabbed her jacket and tore it off her thin frame. Even her top was not spared, exposing her bare back to him. Beefy hands shoved her face first onto her bed, and she could hear him already removing his belt.

At this point, she knew it would be best to simply lay face down, as still as possible. It would be over more quickly if she could bring her mind to a place of complete darkness. The pain would still exist, but at least it would feel a bit further away.

The first bite of the leather belt against her back made a sick snapping sound through the suffocating silence. The blow blazed a trail of living fire across her back, and the consecutive lashes followed suit across her shoulders, legs, and even her bottom. She lost track of how long the whipping dragged on. And she was sure that by the end, she would have lost count of how many new welts had joined her old ones, under her clothes.

When the blows stopped falling, she could hear his strenuous breathing. Her skin burned like she had been seared all over, though she forced herself to remain stubbornly motionless even as her body trembled uncontrollably. It wasn't often he tanned her backside so thoroughly.

Just when she thought he would leave, a large hand cupped the back of her thigh and dragged upward. Kairi's eyes widened, and her whole body turned to stone. He had never touched her after he beat her, and she didn't want to consider why he would start now. Fear turned her heart cold, small and tight in her chest, her mind racing.

She had always locked her door at night, but when she turned twelve, she started barricading it too. At first, it was because she was finally strong enough to drag her dresser around. But one night she had forgotten, and her uncle had happened to come home drunk. Whether intentionally or accidentally, he had come into her room. He had torn off her clothes then, but her aunt had heard the commotion and managed to get her husband out of there. Whether the rescue was out of pity or jealousy, Kairi never knew. But that incident left her utterly shaken and terrified of her uncle, and she had resolved to barricade her door every night with her bed as well.

Too scared to stop him and too scared to even breathe, Kairi willed the world to disappear around her as his large hand started creeping down the waistband of her ratty jeans. Just when she thought she would pass out from lack of air, her aunt's shrill voice spiraled up from the kitchen.

“If you're finished teaching her a lesson, I need you to go to the store, Loz!”

He seemed to pause, perhaps considering his options. Then to Kairi's tremendous relief, he took his heavy hand out of her pants and strode out of her room without another word. Vaguely, she was aware that another argument had started up in the kitchen though they seemed a bit calmer.

Kairi didn't remember how long she laid there - whether she had passed out or not. She only knew that somehow, the light had gone for real this time and it was night. Time to get up and attempt to complete some part of her bedtime ritual.

But she felt no motivation. Saw no need to flex her injured muscles. More aware of her battered body now, she felt that if she strained herself in anyway, her skin might just tear apart. She could not feel hunger or thirst, though her throat was parched and her lips were cracked. Unfortunately, one night would not be enough to die of either condition.

Tears she had been holding back suddenly flooded down her face, soaking into her faded, lavender comforter. The house was cold, but the fire that had blazed over her backside renewed its heat as it throbbed, and ached, and robbed her of any other feeling. What else could be robbed from her this night, or any other nights under this accursed roof? She could hear Loz's snores down the hall, alongside Leblanc's incoherent muttering in her sleep. She wished that neither of them would ever wake up again.

I believe violence is rarely the answer, she had told Sora. But she couldn't stop her mind from thinking of the kitchen, where the knives were kept. Who could she harm should she answer with violence again? Loz and Leblanc were easy targets now. But she, Kairi, was an even easier target.

She already hurt so much... What's a little more hurt to end all hurts?

But you know you can come to me for anything. You do know that, right?

Agonizingly, with shaking arms, she hissed through her teeth as she pushed herself up and quietly slipped her window open. With a single-minded purpose to buoy her, she ignored the sharp flashes of pain lancing through her tortured body. As silently as she could, she locked her door and somehow managed to quietly drag her dresser against it like she usually did – just in case.

Grabbing her gym duffel, she started dumping clothes and other personal effects into it. By the frail beam of moonlight crossing her room, Kairi managed to find and collect her small box of keepsakes, stuffed with an old photo album and all the money she had. After throwing the discarded jacket over the remains of her shirt, she cast one last look around for anything she may have missed. Then she climbed out onto the thick tree branch right outside her window without another thought to her safety.

She was afraid the scraping sounds her sneakers made against the bark would draw someone. Just when she thought she would make it to the ground incident free, her foot slipped and she plummeted. Kairi's skull was pounding bloody murder moments later when she came to. She laid curled on her side, feeling extremely nauseated as the place where she hit her head pulsated in pain. Slowly, she wobbly came to her knees after a moment to catch her breath. Struggling to remember where she was going, she pulled herself up using a low hanging bough.

Yuna was the only person in the world she could trust. All these years, her friend had stood by her steadfastly. Kairi had not wanted to quench the only shred of light and hope in her life by dragging Yuna into the vortex of darkness surrounding her.

But Kairi also knew her well enough. If she went to the grave before telling her, Yuna was going to wave a wand and revive her, just so she could kill her again for worrying her so much. Kairi felt a stitch in her gut when she swallowed back a silent chuckle. If she didn't get away from this house by sunrise, she felt like she would go insane.

Yuna only lived about three neighborhoods away.

Three miles of stumbling blindly through cul-de-sacs and backyards never seemed so far.

Kairi’s vision swam and her head felt lighter and lighter with each step till she found that she could barely control her sluggish movements any longer. Just when she thought she was walking on clouds, the manicured lawn, the large familiar house, then Yuna’s green front door somehow loomed before her. Her hand pawed blindly at the doorbell until she could hear people stirring inside. The words on the wooden sign that read “Welcome!” blurred as her strength gave away, and she plunged for the doormat.

She didn't hear the front door open, or the frantic cries for help. She didn't feel the hands shaking her, or the arms that carried her inside the house.

………

Sora rapped a pencil against his desk during chemistry class, his bored gaze fixed on a nonexistent point at the front of the room. He didn't notice some of the peeved looks he was receiving from the students sitting near him. His thoughts were too occupied recalling his uneventful week. He hadn’t seen Kairi or even her best friend in P.E. at all, but he didn't have the resolve to ask Mr. Leon or Yuffie what they knew. No one else in class brought it up either. None of them cared enough to, even if they were curious.

But he cared – was beginning to care, though the thought bothered him especially when he’d never really thought to pay attention before. Every time he tried to forget about it, Kairi’s words replayed themselves over and over in his mind.

Was he reading into her message too much?

Did something happen at home?

Where was she now?

Was she okay?

His pencil suddenly stopped its constant tapping, as he reached into one of his pockets to see if Kairi’s pendant was still there. Sora sighed with relief when he felt its cool glossy surface and clenched his fist around it. Wherever Kairi was, he wished he could see her again and set things right.

………

Tidus glanced around his math class looking for Yuna’s familiar face, but she was nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t shown up for any of their classes together. Something had to be very wrong for both Yuna and Kairi to miss so much school. What was even more disconcerting was the fact they were both missing at the same time.

Maybe they were both out sick? The flu was already making its rounds in school, and the two girls were always hanging out together. That had to be it.

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He lurched to his feet, caught off guard by the screeching lunch bell. Wakka came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, spooking Tidus badly.

“Whoa man, chill. Why so jumpy today?” Wakka asked laughingly. He was about to tease him some more, but stopped when Tidus didn't return the smile. “Did something happen?” he asked a little more tactfully, “If there's something I can do to help...”

The blonde ran a hand through his bangs, his eyes full of hidden concern. “Sorry Wakka, it's nothing. I'll meet up with you later, okay?”

Wakka slung a friendly arm over his shoulder. “Something’s been on your mind the last two weeks. You keep it inside and it’ll eat you up, ya?” When Tidus just ignored him and continued packing, Wakka pulled his arm back and frowned worriedly, “I noticed you've been avoiding me after... well, after what we did to Kairi's locker. Is that what's bothering you?”

Tidus stopped, holding in a sigh. Wakka was as much a knucklehead as he was, but clearly the incident was still weighing on his mind too. Maybe they were due for a conversation about it, but now was just not the right time. He needed to sort out his own thoughts first.

“I'm hungry. If you want to get some chocobo curry buns before they sell out, we better hurry.” With that, Tidus left without waiting to see if Wakka would follow and sauntered towards the canteen.

Wakka stood there, looking more than a little confused and hurt by his best friend's dismissal. He scratched his stubble and shook his head, leaving the classroom at a slower pace, only to bump into Selphie.

“Hi Wakka!” the brunette chirped.

“Hey Selphie,” Wakka returned, somewhat dejectedly. Picking up on his mood, she cocked her head to the side with a small pout as she walked beside him down the hall.

“Is something the matter? Everyone seems so depressed lately. Sora would hardly talk to me in English and Riku's even frostier than usual. I was just about to check on you and Tidus, and just now I come across you moping. If Tidus is just as unhappy, then I'm frankly very, very worried about all of you.”

“It's got to be about the other week... what we did to Kairi, ya? We went too far,” Wakka began, but then his tone turned curious, “Wait, even Riku is acting differently?”

Selphie shrugged, appearing intrigued as well. “It's kind of hard to tell with Riku, but I'd say so. After Kairi ran off, and we got in trouble, he helped us clean up her locker. Not because he got detention like the rest of us. But because he actually volunteered! I wonder why he's on her side when he doesn't even know her. I tried to ask him, but he just seemed so closed about the whole thing.” Suddenly, she widened her emerald green eyes at Wakka, “You don't think Riku... likes her, do you?”

The orange-haired boy was taken aback by her wild suggestion. “That's crazy talk, Selph. But... he was angry. I just remember him shoving this paper at Sora while we were cleaning up. Said it was important. I didn't think too much about it at the time, but now I wonder what that could've been about.”

“Well, I didn't notice any of that. I just couldn't believe Miss Tifa made us clean all of that up! That's what a janitor is for,” Selphie continued petulantly, “If there was anyone there who was really mad, it was that crazy teacher. And we all had to spend Saturday in detention. I'm so glad I don't have her for my English class! Mr. Irvine is so much better than her...”

As Selphie prattled on, Wakka felt the gears in his head shift. Riku had never participated in teasing Kairi, but he was always indifferent with everything. As outgoing and sunny as Selphie was, he didn't think she was especially bright in the smarts department. She often made wild assumptions that didn't turn out to be true in the end. Wakka laughed absently as his voluble friend bounced down the hall beside him. He was far less concerned with Riku's mysterious feelings than he was about the rift that had opened up between himself and Tidus.

………

Kairi awoke fully for once. Time had been a blur to her, and her few waking moments had been spent struggling with basic bodily functions. Her disoriented mind vaguely collected necessary details such as where the washroom was in relation to the bed she occupied. Most of the time, someone was there helping her but the faces and voices escaped her. She never felt alarmed enough to realize how unusual it all was. But this time when she woke up, she could feel warm sunshine spilling gently over her face and knew immediately that all was not the same.

Looking away from the light, the first thing Kairi noticed was that she wasn’t in her own room. The warm honey colors dotted with blue and green things slowly arranged themselves into more comprehensible objects. Her eyes began to recognize the familiar, clean room. She knew there were stuffed moogles on the dresser and vanity before she even turned her head to look at them.

There was an eclectic collection of books arranged on the desk and along the floating shelves above it. Artwork and posters hung on the light green walls. She could even recognize her own smiling face in many of the photo frames crowding the top of a white dresser. Usually, Yuna was right beside her with the same cheerful expression.

Suddenly, all her memories from that harrowing night flooded to the forefront of her mind. A pressure behind her eyes and forehead built as she recalled that ugly evening. Loz whipping her, then groping her. The fear that had paralyzed her. Leblanc's shrill, sneering voice and cold eyes. Falling and hitting her head. The dark, impossible trek towards Yuna's house.

Help. She had needed help. Still needed help.

The wooden door squeaked open gently and a woman with shoulder length blonde hair peeked inside. Her bright green eyes lit up when she saw Kairi looking at her. Weakly, Kairi smiled and signed a greeting.

“I’m so glad to see you’re awake! We were all so worried about you, Kairi. How are you feeling? Hungry? You've barely been able to eat anything.”

Kairi tried to smile and began to force herself up. She had barely lifted herself when her elbows buckled, and she fell back onto the bed again. Yuna’s mother hurried over, “Now take it easy, dear... You relax, all right? I’ll have Yuna bring up some tea and soup for you.”

Before Kairi could really react, her footsteps were already fading down the hall.

Moments later, Yuna showed up carrying the light meal as promised, “Hey Kairi. Mom said you've finally come around. Two weeks, you've been in and out. Took you long enough to... to wake up.” Yuna's eyes misted over as she set the tray down. A second later, she was in Kairi's arms, hugging her as hard as she dared. “I was so relieved when you woke up before, but it wasn't the same! My dad said you hit your head pretty hard, and wasn't sure if that had to do with the fugue state you were in. He couldn’t say when you'd truly come back to us, only that you were stable enough to come home with us... Sweet Yevon, I was so scared for you. I'm so glad you're okay!”

Kairi returned the embrace and breathed out a little shakily. Yuna was real. Yuna was here. Part of her had thought she wouldn't see her best friend again. Kairi's throat constricted as she patted Yuna's back, trying to comfort her as much as she was trying to comfort herself.

Yuna was the first to pull away, hastily wiping the tears from her eyes as she smiled warmly at Kairi. With a lot of careful maneuvering of pillows, she helped her into a sitting position. “I'm here to make sure you eat everything! And I'm not answering questions until you have some food.”

As Kairi slowly ate the thin, but hearty soup, she asked the first question that came to mind. ‘Is today a weekend?' Yuna shook her head, and Kairi frowned, 'Then why aren't you at school?'

Yuna crossed her arms. “Did you really think that I’d leave you in this condition just for school? Come on! You know me better than that! Anyway, you gave us a huge shock. Dad had to move you inside so you didn't freeze, but we ended up calling an ambulance.”

The redhead dropped her spoon and turned wide, incredulous eyes on Yuna, curling her fingers to keep them from shaking.

Yuna placed a hand over Kairi's fist, her gaze sympathetic but anxious. “Kairi, we had to. Though Dad’s a doctor, there was no telling exactly how bad your concussion was without getting a scan. And for you to come here in that state... I knew you needed our help.”

Kairi swallowed her panic, trembling as the full weight of the situation bore down on her. It felt like her world was collapsing around her ears. When she looked up again, her clumsy hands were rapidly flying through a series of questions. 'What did you tell them? Do the doctors, and nurses, and your parents... do... do you know?' Tears of fear and frustration started to gather at the corner of her eyes. Kairi wrung her hands and covered her face, her fingers digging into the bandage over her temple, 'Do the police know? Oh gods... You didn't tell the police, did you? I'm fine! I just needed your help to lay low or leave-'

Yuna finally grabbed her wrists to calm her wildly growing hysteria. Her pale hands were cool as always, but this time they were just the slightest bit clammy. “Please calm down, Kairi. Yes, I know. I saw your bruises and scars that day in the locker room. I can't... I didn't tell anyone then. I wanted to talk to you about it first, but you kept avoiding me.” Her grip grew tight over Kairi's palms, a hard pinched expression marring her gentle face, “I should’ve confronted you sooner. Maybe this could have all been avoided if I had. I wish I had known earlier... all these years, this has been happening. I was the closest one to you, and I never knew! But that other night changed everything, Kairi. There was no way I could keep your secret, and there was no way I would. You needed more help than I could provide on my own.”

'So the police know...' Kairi went limp, pursing her lips as she sank bonelessly into the pillows propped behind her.

Yuna gazed at her sadly and nodded. “The doctors and nurses who treated you knew right away that you'd been beaten badly. The physical exam showed you've been abused for years. And you’re a minor, so it was protocol... they sent for the police and a detective came to see you. But you weren't very coherent. They had to, well, you see, there was a court order for a… for a rape kit,” Yuna closed her eyes, squeezing Kairi’s shoulders, “It was awful, waiting for news at the hospital. Luckily, Dad convinced the hospital and the police to let us take you home after a week, once you were stable enough to be moved. But the detective will be back to take a statement now that you're awake.”

Kairi turned away and curled herself into a defensive ball. She heard Yuna sigh, “I know you're scared. We're all scared. But Detective Cross was really nice. She really wants to help you. She said the police will handle your case carefully. There's even a patrol officer who comes by daily to check on us, so we're safe from... so we're safe.”

It was everything Kairi could do to hold herself together and not start hyperventilating. She felt violated, all over again. Though she didn’t remember it, someone had taken photos of her naked, tortured body. Had witnessed her mottled outsides. Had even seen and swabbed her insides. Those photos and samples were now on record for strangers to browse and judge. And though they were for the police, there was no way the public hadn’t speculated what happened. It was a small town after all. Her worst nightmare had come true. She would be taken by social services, forced into the system, and destined to live with strangers who could be worse than Leblanc and Loz. She would be taken away from the only friend she ever knew – the only world she ever knew.

“Kairi... It's a lot to take in. I think you came to us because you felt you'd be safe here. And we want to keep you safe. We want you here with us,” Yuna bit her lip, not wanting to cause Kairi any more distress. But at the rate things were going, Kairi was never going to open up if she didn't ask now. “But we need to know what happened so we know how to help you. Please tell me everything. What can you remember about that night?”

Kairi opened her eyes and stared at the mint green ceiling for a moment, trying to contain the emotions welling up inside. Finally she nodded. ‘Can I have a pen and paper, please? It’s probably best if I write it down...’

Yuna gave Kairi what she needed. As the pen scratched away slowly at the notepad, Yuna settled in and tried to concentrate on reading a book. It took Kairi a while to write, picking and choosing her words carefully. Her penmanship was sloppy, uncoordinated. And there were things she wanted to gloss over – like Loz molesting her and the events leading up to that incident. Parts of her memories were still obscured from her, likely from her head injury. It took her a good ten minutes just slowly piecing together why she'd even taken a beating in the first place that day.

When she was finished, she hesitated giving it to Yuna. The notepad now contained all the sordid details she could recall of that night, and other painful references to her abusive home life. But whatever she told Yuna, she would have to tell the detective anyway, right? Kairi finally passed the pad back to her friend.

Yuna couldn't concentrate on the book she was pretending to read. As the minutes wore on, she had to consciously remind herself not to chew a hole through her lip. And when she finally had a chance to read Kairi's words, part of her really wished she could unread everything before her eyes. Her face turned more and more ashen, yet she forced herself to burn those words into her mind. Even if it felt like guilt would eat her alive, Yuna would do everything in her power to protect her friend. She had failed Kairi before – she would not stand by and fail her again.

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Chapter Text

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Chapter 7: Beyond the Darkness

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Author: Kintora

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Had she done the right thing to tell? Kairi wondered.

The longer Yuna kept her silence, the more Kairi doubted the wisdom in telling her what she'd never told anyone. What was Yuna thinking? Why wasn't she saying anything? But she was afraid to get her attention. Right now, Yuna's pale face looked like it was made of fractured porcelain. One touch, and it would shatter.

Yuna knew most of Kairi's past. But after the accident, Kairi had only told her that relatives were taking care of her. And while Yuna had tried to ask after them from time to time, Kairi always gave such vague answers that Yuna had just assumed everything was all right. That Kairi just missed her parents too much to really have the heart to talk about her guardians. Meanwhile, Kairi was really trying to conceal the fact that they were abusive.

Yuna hated herself. Hated these people she had never met.

Kairi hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath until Yuna finally set the writing pad down to look at her. Even then, her nerves threatened to betray her.

“Can I... Can I show this to my parents and the detective?” The tawny-haired girl whispered.

Unable to find any words, Kairi made some kind gesture that could pass as a nod or a shrug. Just then, Yuna's mother knocked on the door gently and peeked into the room. “Hi, I'm just checking in on you two. I brought some snacks in case either of you were hungry.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Yuna waved her in, “Actually, we want to talk to you. I told Kairi a little about the police, but she's still... worried.”

“Oh, honey,” Yuna's mom came over and gently grasped Kairi's hands in hers, “There's nothing to worry about. Detective Cross has been really great to us, and she really does have your best interests at heart. I know my words don't sound very consoling right now, but give her a chance. We'll be right there with you when you meet her – if you want us in the room with you.”

'Is she coming here?' Kairi asked. Yuna relayed the question to her mother.

“I got off the phone with her not too long ago. She'll be here later this evening after dinner,” she gave Kairi an assuring smile.

'What about them... my aunt and uncle?'

At that, Yuna shared a look with her mother. “Well, you see–”

Just then, the front door banged open and three sets of voices entered the house arguing. Yuna rolled her eyes at the loud racket as her triplet brothers came thundering into the kitchen to raid the fridge.

“Zidane, you're such an idiot! Why the heck would you tip off our only chance to beat Dagger's score? It’s all your fault! She knows our strategy now!” Zell snarled at his brother.

Kairi looked at Yuna and her mother, wondering if either of them would break up the fight. Neither seemed too inclined, but finally Yuna's mother got up when it sounded like a glass broke downstairs. She gave them an apologetic look, her face morphing into one of dark fury as she marched down the stairs to quell their angry squabble. Moments later, her sharp voice rang out, putting a swift end to the commotion.

“Were we ever this annoying at thirteen?” Yuna asked dryly. She massaged her forehead to stave off oncoming headaches. Giving Kairi an exasperated look, she stood up as well. “I'll go help, Mom. You stay here and have some more snacks.”

Kairi shook her head. 'I'm sick of staying in bed. Help me up! I'll go down with you.'

Her friend looked skeptical. “I don't know, Kai. Do you think you can handle going down the stairs?”

'I made it to and from the bathroom, didn't I?' she frowned, her expression insistent, 'Just help me. I'm sure I can at least make it to the kitchen.'

Yuna couldn't keep the uneasy look off her face, but it improved when she helped Kairi to her feet and guided her a few steps out of the room down the hall. The stairs were trickier, and Kairi had to really concentrate. It didn't help when she slipped and Yuna just barely caught her, both of them breaking into cold sweat as they hobbled the rest of the way down.

By the time they reached the kitchen, the triplets were quietly crowded around the counter, doing their homework with identical sulkiness under their mother's hawk-eyed glare. When they noticed Yuna and Kairi though, the brothers perked up and started talking all at once.

“Kairi! You look like crap! But at least you're on your feet again,” Zell observed cheerfully, his spiky blonde hair bouncing as he nodded at her.

Zack lifted a dark brow at his boisterous sibling. “You lack so much tact talking to girls, I often wonder how we can possibly be related.”

“Well I think you're amazing, Kairi. How's your head?” Zidane ignored both his brothers in favor of offering her a friendly smile. Zell reached over and yanked his brother's dark blonde ponytail, drawing a snarl from Zidane as he responded with an elbow to Zell's gut. Zack yawned beside them, as his two brothers raised their fists against each other.

Yuna finally snapped. “KNOCK. IT. OFF! Unless you all want to wake up bald tomorrow, you better behave.”

“What did I do?” Zack threw a protective hand over his thick, black locks, “You can't touch my hair, sis!”

“Watch me.” Yuna's green-blue eyes flashed, and her normally soft features went hard. Kairi had only ever seen Yuna lose her temper once, and once was enough. Yuna always delivered on her threats.

“Mooooooom...” All three whined in unison after a moment of stunned silence.

Their mother had returned to chopping vegetables during the exchange, and now she merely shrugged. “Don't complain to me. Any more of this nonsense, and I will dye you all blue. Then you can all be smurfs. That'll really show off your charming bald heads.”

Just then, the mudroom door opened and Yuna's father walked in. His dark, tawny locks were mussed, and tired lines marred his otherwise handsome face. The instant the boys spotted their father, they whined again in perfect unison. “Daaaaaad...”

“And don't complain to your father. Can't you see he's exhausted?” their mother chided sternly, before walking over to her husband and giving him a warm hug, “Welcome home, Braska. Rough day?”

“It was alright. I can tell you more about it later,” Braska said, kissing her forehead, “How was your day, Aya?”

“Oh, just lovely,” Aya grinned, returning to her task with more alacrity, “The office has been very understanding. Working from home is so much better than having to commute. I wonder if Cid would let me work from home indefinitely... Also, Kairi woke up.”

“That's wonderful, love. Cid's tough, but he's still your brother. I'm sure you can convince him. Remember how you talked him into wearing that ridiculous moogle costume last Halloween?” Braska hid a yawn as he slowly hung up his coat. “I'll just wash my hands, and help you with dinner...” He trailed off into a pause, then turned around so quickly he almost suffered whiplash. This time he finally took in a full inventory of his surroundings, blue eyes wide as his gaze traveled from his sullen sons to his smug daughter and her best friend sitting at the table. He hurried over and threw his arms around Kairi in a bear hug. “Kairi! It's so wonderful to see you're feeling better.”

Kairi returned the embrace just as fiercely. After a moment, she pulled away. 'Thank you all so much for taking care of me.'

Though Braska's understanding of sign language wasn't as good as Yuna's, he understood enough to respond. “Of course, you're always welcome in our home. I hope Yuna has spoken to you about staying with us longer. In fact, Aya and I talked about this... We would love to have you live with us from now on.”

For a moment, Kairi was so moved she had no words to describe the feeling. It had been so long since anyone had unconditionally provided for her, or simply loved her enough to care. Their generosity invoked an emotion so overwhelming in Kairi, she felt her throat tighten.

'Yes, I would be most grateful to stay.' Her hands shook, 'I don't know how I'll ever repay your kindness.'

“Accepting our help is payment enough,” Braska gave Kairi a warm smile, “We've known you so long, you're a daughter to us in all but name. And that can be amended, if that's your wish.”

Aya dried her hands and joined Braska at the table. “I know it's a lot to take in. You've been through so much, but we really couldn't wait to ask you. Would you be our daughter? Yuna already considers you her sister, and the boys just adore you too...”

“'Adore' is a bit of a strong word,” Zell grumbled cheekily, but was quickly silenced by Zack and Zidane simultaneously digging their elbows into his ribs.

Kairi couldn't help the tears that escaped down her face as she nodded, slowly at first until she could hardly stop. Her face probably looked like a red, swollen mess, but inside she had never felt so relieved – so safe. Finally, she had a place to rest. She no longer had to linger in the darkness, wondering when she would chance upon the next moment of respite.

It was still terrifying that Yuna’s family knew everything and would ultimately have to share the consequences with her. But the truth was also liberating. She hadn’t felt so free in so long.

As she staunched her dripping nose with the tissue Yuna offered her, Kairi found she didn't care that she looked ridiculous. They were to be a real family. She would have a family again.

Yuna wrapped her arms around her best friend, resting her chin over Kairi's bowed head. Looking at her parents, she mouthed a silent thank you to them. Her parents were both dabbing at their own eyes as well, just as elated and moved. Her brothers had matching embarrassed expressions, but judging the way they seemed to be repressing their grins, she could tell they were happy Kairi would be joining their sibling ranks.

With a bit of help from everyone, dinner was served without incident and Aya even let the boys off for roughhousing earlier. As they were tidying up, the doorbell rang and suddenly Kairi was full of nerves again. Aya shooed the complaining trio up to their rooms as Braska got up to answer the door. Kairi on the other hand, had the strongest urge to bolt right up the stairs with them. As if sensing her thoughts, Yuna put a hand on her shoulder – whether to keep her in place or comfort her, or a bit of both, Kairi couldn't be certain.

“Good evening, Detective Cross. Have you eaten? We just finished dinner, but we'd be happy to offer you some snacks,” Braska invited cordially.

There was a young woman's voice that Kairi didn't recognize. “That's kind of you, Dr. Bevelle, but I've already eaten. I could use some water though, if it's not too much trouble.”

“It’s no trouble at all. Please come in,” Braska led the detective into the living space. From her seat in the open kitchen area, Kairi had an unfettered view of the petite, blonde haired woman who strode inside. Almost immediately, she caught sight of Kairi. Her bright green eyes softened as she offered her a genial smile.

“Kairi, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Detective Dominique Cross, from the Destiny PD Special Victims Unit. Mrs. Bevelle called me earlier when you woke up. How are you doing, sweetheart?”

Kairi answered with a stiff, polite smile, a bit taken aback from being called 'sweetheart' by a stranger who looked like she couldn't be more than ten years her senior. Upon closer observation though, Kairi found it harder to tell exactly what age the detective was. Should she be concerned that the woman seemed so young?

Yuna stuck close to her side, as Kairi more or less managed to maneuver unaided into the living room. Detective Cross even came around her other side to offer assistance. She was a hair shorter than Kairi, but petite and affable as she appeared, Kairi instinctively felt there was more to this woman than meets the eye.

Braska brought Detective Cross a glass of water and sat down beside his wife. Once everyone was arranged comfortably around the white sofa set, the detective addressed her again.

“I'm sure you must be a bit apprehensive speaking with me, Kairi.” Detective Cross raised her hands, signing as she spoke, “But everything you tell me will help me and the DPD with your case. You don't have to be afraid to talk to me or your loved ones here.”

Kairi bit her lip, twisting the hem of her shirt. With some encouragement from Yuna, Kairi slowly articulated a question that had been bothering her since she woke up. 'What happened to my aunt and uncle? Are they in jail?'

Detective Cross nodded, her expression full of assurance. “Your uncle has been detained, yes. We're holding Loz Jenova on a felony assault against you. The forensics identified the weapon he used to beat you. When we arrested him that night, we found that belt in his possession. He has a history of criminal violence, so you needn't worry about seeing him except in court.”

'And...and my aunt?'

“She's harder to convict,” Detective Cross said honestly, though her tone remained compassionate, “We've charged her with child neglect, as you are still underage and legally under her care. While Leblanc Hunter's record is clean, we are in the process of investigating everything as thoroughly as we can. If she's hiding anything, we will find it.” She paused to let the disappointing news sink in. “Kairi, I will do everything in my power to keep you all safe and put these people away. To do that, I need to count on your cooperation and trust. Can you do that for me?”

Kairi could feel the conviction in her voice; could feel everyone's bated attention on her. The fact that Leblanc was still around frightened her, but Kairi reminded herself to think on the bright side. Loz had been her greatest fear, and he was as good as gone from her life. Not yet, but almost. Definitely. Eventually.

Fighting Leblanc, and putting her away was going to be an uphill battle. Nothing had ever been easy after her parents died. She shouldn't expect that to change now, only this time she wasn't going to bear the burden alone.

The detective continued when Kairi gave her an affirmative, “Thank you, Kairi. I'm afraid the questions I'll ask you won't be easy ones to answer. Can you tell me what happened earlier that day? Did something trigger your uncle's rage?”

'The school called, because I didn't go to class. They probably couldn't reach my aunt or uncle. An agent from social services visited the house. They got in trouble for not knowing where I was.' Kairi furrowed her brow, struggling to remember.

“Why didn't you go to class?” Detective Cross asked gently, “I've spoken with your school, and they've told me it was very unusual for you to do that. Did something happen?”

'My classmates bullied me after... I'd already had a bad day. My locker, and my... Where's my bag?' Kairi suddenly sat up bolt upright, whirling on Yuna, 'My purple one. The one I've always had. Where'd it go?' Her hands darted to her bare neck. 'My pendant! It's missing too!”

“I... I don't know, Kairi. We can help you look for them...” Yuna trailed off, trying to divert her panic, “I heard what happened at your locker. I've told Detective Cross about it. Do you remember when Yuffie, Tidus, and I went to find you? We went back to check on you after our free period, but you weren't at the school anymore. We just assumed you went home. No one knows what happened after we saw you last.”

'I did go home,' Kairi articulated slowly, remembering things more clearly now, 'But not before Sora found me.'

Yuna stared at her in shock. “Sora went to find you? Did he hurt you?”

'No! No. He wanted to apologize. We talked... at the park. I-I left him there.' Kairi shook her head, frustrated, 'I can't even remember what exactly we talked about. But when I got home, the agent from social services was gone. My aunt and uncle were there. Then... Then he...' Kairi wrapped her arms around herself and tried to push the memories away. Revisiting them earlier was already more than she could bear.

Yuna filled in for Kairi, rubbing soothing circles over her back, “About the attack... She wrote it down. It's up in my room. If you give me a moment, I can go get it.”

Detective Cross nodded, “Yes, that would be very helpful.” As Yuna left, the detective turned to Kairi again, “You're very brave. We'll find a way to put an end to this.”

'What happens now?' Kairi asked her, her face stricken.

“Now, you do your best to get better so you can go back to school.” The blonde detective smiled, “As I understand it, your classmates and teachers are eager to see you return.”

'Can I stay here?'

“I don't see why not, especially since the Bevelle family wants you to stay with them. The CPS has agreed to let you stay here for the time being.” The detective sighed slightly, “Which reminds me. You also have to attend family court some time soon to settle custody.”

“We'll be there,” Aya said, placing her hands on Kairi's shoulders.

Detective Cross gave her a warm look. “I'm glad. If the judge sees that a caring family will take Kairi in, he or she may be more inclined to award custody over to you.”

Just then, Yuna returned with the statement Kairi had written earlier. Sensing Kairi didn't want to be there and was quickly growing tired, she handed the paper over and spoke up. “Detective Cross, I think it's time I take Kairi back upstairs to rest...”

“Of course, dear,” the petite blond woman smiled, “There are a few more things I must discuss with your parents. Thank you both for talking with me. Kairi, I hope you get well soon. I'll be seeing you around.”

Yuna and Kairi bid them all good night, and Kairi was only too happy to let Yuna lead her away up the stairs.

Another week passed, and Kairi spent much of her time awake trying to catch up on schoolwork. She looked forward to the end of the school day when Yuna would come home bearing well wishes from her teachers and the occasional story. In fact, the very first day Yuna returned to school, she came home with a peculiar tale. Sora had approached Yuna immediately after gym class to talk. However, Yuna hadn't been very charitable to him, so the discussion ended there.

Despite feeling listless and bored out of her mind, she was beginning to think that wasn't such a bad thing if it meant she didn't have to see Sora again. However, the day soon came when Kairi had recovered enough to attend school again.

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