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“Hey, want to play a prank on Scott?” Wanda asked. She was bored, and sometimes when she was bored, she liked to screw with people.
Peter was generally on board with whatever Wanda suggested so he was the perfect enabler. “Okay, what did you have in mind?” Peter asked.
“You know how he’s been complaining that everyone thinks all the Avengers are attractive except him?” Wanda asked.
Peter could relate to Scott, but he just said, “Yeah, I remember.”
“What if… get this,” Wanda said. “The wrong people were attracted to him. Really attracted to him.”
“I don’t think I follow,” Peter said.
“What if I cursed him so that for a day every guy was insanely attracted to him?” Wanda asked.
“Hey, wait,” Peter said.“I’m a guy. Also… you can do that???”
“Oh, sure,” Wanda said. “You would be surprised how much I can manipulate reality.”
“You never play these umm… pranks on me, do you?” Peter asked.
“Of course not,” Wanda said, patting his head. “You’re my favourite.”
Scott Lang was having a fabulous day. Everyone was being so nice to him today! He didn’t even have to pay for a taxi, the driver let him have a free ride. He also gave him his phone number for another free ride later. That was kind of strange, but Scott didn’t question it. It wasn’t until he got to Avengers Tower that he noticed something was seriously off.
Wanda, Peter, and Thor were hanging out on the couch.
“Good morning, guys,” Scott said.
“Good morning,” Wanda said sweetly. Thor seemed to be staring at Scott, but then he ran off without saying anything.
“Did I do something wrong?” Scott asked. “It’s like he couldn’t stand to be in the same room as me.”
“That’s not weird,” Peter said. “Nothing weird is going on here.”
Scott stared at Peter blankly. He never knew what was going on. Apparently, Peter was hiding something. Keeping secrets wasn’t his strong suit for someone who had a secret identity.
“Maybe Thor just doesn’t like you,” Wanda suggested, but her theory didn’t last very long when Thor came back.
“I have prepared a song to celebrate your beauty,” Thor informed Scott.
“Wait… what?” Scott said. He wasn’t sure what the joke was, but he was just glad Thor was talking to him.
Thor grabbed Scott’s hand with both of his giant hands and started singing in what was either a language Scott was not familiar with or absolute gibberish.
“What is going on?” Scott asked.
Tony walked in. “Thor stop singing funeral dirges so loudly, I have a headache.”
“Uhh… it’s not a funeral dirge. It’s a song to celebrate Scott’s beauty for no particular reason,” Peter said.
Scott expected Tony to have something snappy to say to that, but Tony looked at Scott and then just glared at Thor. “Songs are for people who don’t have money. Have I mentioned that I’m rich lately?”
“Only every day,” Wanda said.
“Think of all the things I could buy you, Scott,” Tony said.
“Why would you buy me anything?” Scott asked. “But also… what kind of stuff are we talking?”
“Whatever you want,” Tony said, winking.
“Wanda…” Peter said. “This is getting weird.”
“We should go on a vacation,” Tony suggested. “What’s your favourite country?” he asked Scott. “Bermuda? The Bahamas?”
“My favourite country is America,” Scott said, mostly just because he lived there.
“Did someone say America?” Steve said. He entered the room with Bucky, and Sam. All of them seemed to be checking Scott out.
“Oh no,” Peter said.
“What’s going on?” Scott asked Peter.
“You wanted people to be attracted to you,” Wanda said.
“Oh, I see… So you’re all making fun of me,” Scott said.
“Not exactly…” Peter said.
“Hey, Scott… do you want to go on a date?” Sam asked.
“He doesn’t want to date you,” Steve said frowning. “Scott is far too good for you.”
Bucky was sitting quietly in the corner, but his eyes were glued to Scott.
“Wanda did some magic,” Peter said.
“Why would you do that?” Scott asked.
“Scott is going to the Bahamas with me,” Tony told Steve as is Scott had ever agreed with that.
“I care more about Scott than you ever will,” Steve said.
“So…” Scott said. “Steve doesn’t really care about me, then?”
“Not as much as he thinks he does at the current moment, no,” Wanda said.
“Make this stop,” Scott said. “This is seriously freaking me out.”
“I’ve loved Scott for far longer than you,” Sam said.
Thor started singing the song dedicated to Scott’s beauty again.
“I think this gone on far too long,” Peter said. “Change them back… please, Wanda?” He gave her his saddest puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” Wanda said. She raised her hand and with one swing of her arm, the boys were back to normal.
“What the hell just happened?” Tony asked. “Did I ask you to go to the Bahamas with me?” he asked Scott.
“I mean… it wasn’t entirely clear but yeah, basically,” Scott said.
“You said you loved Scott,” Steve said to Sam confused. “What’s going on?”
“Wanda made you all have a crush on Scott, basically,” Peter said.
“Gross!” Sam said.
Thor looked at Scott, confused. He wasn’t singing anymore.
“Yeah, I get it, Wanda,” Scott said. “I know no one likes me. You didn’t need to do that.” He stalked off feeling embarrassed, ugly, and inherently unlovable.
Later, Scott didn’t feel like talking to anyone, so he grabbed some food from the kitchen trying not to make eye contact with Clint, who was making a sandwich and humming along to the song Thor had written earlier.
“Do you have to sing that?” Scott asked irritably.
Clint shrugged. “Sorry, I just heard Thor singing it earlier. I don’t know what it is, but it’s catchy.”
“It’s a song to celebrate my beauty,” Scott said.
“Oh,” Clint said. “Let me try to write one.”
“Please don’t,” Scott said. Was the curse really gone?
“That guy Scott, he is really hot,” Clint sung.
“WANDA!!!” Scott yelled. Clint looked surprised.
Wanda came into the kitchen. “What’s wrong now?” she asked.
“I think your spell is still working on Clint,” Scott complained.
“What spell? What are you talking about?” Clint asked.
“Earlier I cast a spell so all the boys would be attracted to Scott,” Wanda said.
“Oh,” Clint said. “I thought they were just finally appreciating that Scott’s a legit snack.”
“He’s not under a spell, he’s just like that,” Wanda said.
Clint winked at Scott.
“Wait you really think I’m hot?” Scott asked.
“Yup,” Clint said, taking a bite out of his BLT.
“Cool,” Scott said, smiling to himself. “I’m hot.”