Work Text:
Watching the others do their team building exercises or learn to fight or brush up old skills or learn new skills - whatever it was - was usually interesting. She didn't often get the chance to indulge, but she took those precious opportunities when they lent themselves to her. She missed working with a team, she missed her covert ‘spy’ work, she missed being in the field. She knew what she was doing now was far more important and, of the people in semi-permanent residence at the compound, she knew enough of herself and them that she could acknowledge that she was the most qualified.
SHIELD had been good for her, in a way, but working here at the Avengers compound under Tony Stark himself was far better, even if she did miss getting down and dirty. She liaised with some of the other groups out there, occasionally, which was interesting, but Stark mostly kept her close, and kept her informed . With SHIELD, she'd known very little or nothing at all, even when it was vital to have that information to do her job properly. She knew why now , of course, and that still stung, that she hadn't noticed until it was too late, but Stark ran a very different ship. She liked the accountability, the transparency. It was refreshing, and it made her life a lot easier.
But she still missed getting her hands dirty.
Today, Barnes and Parker had the training mats to themselves, which meant the entire room was empty. Barnes wasn't a merciless teacher, but he also was one of the very few that recognized the kid's strength and abilities for what they were. Parker was stronger than most of them, he just didn't know what to do with all that strength most of the time, so he kept it fiercely under wraps. Parker had some of the best control she'd ever seen in a super powered person, she had to admit. Even Rogers had gone off the rails with his old punching bags and destroyed more than a few of those. Parker never broke anything unless it was because he was being particularly clumsy.
He was still a teenager, after all.
When Parker learned hand-to-hand with Barnes as his teacher, things could get dangerous for anyone who wasn't enhanced, and even dangerous for those who were. Barnes might not technically be as physically strong as Rogers, but he was twice as deadly with all the training he himself had been through. He encouraged Parker to use his strength rather than hold it all in. Thus, the empty room.
Maria watched as Barnes incapacitated Parker and then stopped to slow down his movements and coach him through each step. He had Parker repeat the move on him, slowly, and then try it in earnest. He still didn't succeed, naturally, but she suspected it would definitely work on someone without any training, and still likely work on someone with training but without any enhancements. Parker needed to be better, though. He couldn't always rely on his web fluid: it wasn't an inexhaustible resource.
They practiced the move again, this time in a mock-combat situation. Maria approved of Barnes’ methods. He was straightforward about what he was teaching Parker at all times, was patient and calm, never let any frustration he might feel show on the surface. She'd assisted in training green agents plenty of times herself, and she could admit to losing her shit on them a few times, but Barens never did. She wondered when he'd become such a good teacher. Surely he'd done this sort of thing before. But it wasn't her place to ask. Only to observe.
She'd watched a lot of the Avengers at their training regimens. She knew what most of them were capable of at their very best and at their very worst. She'd been there when Stark was fighting to get back into shape after having the arc reactor removed, after all. She'd even helped, once he was a little further along from basic physical therapy. It had been interesting to see how vastly different his workout was compared to the other Avengers. She liked to think she'd helped him with a few other things, too, especially with building his core - a necessary part of piloting the Iron Man armor.
She returned her attention to the fight to watch as Parker flew at Barnes from one of the stacks of mats. He wasn't permitted to use his web fluid during these exercises, but he could use any of his other enhancements. Barnes encouraged it, in fact, and Parker tended to use them all to what he thought would be to his advantage. The goal for this set was to get Barnes in a choke hold to render him incapable of fighting back, but Barnes wasn't going to go easy on him. Parker healed fast enough, as did Barnes, and this was about Parker learning how to let his strength out.
Maria narrowed her eyes. They were so damn fast, sometimes she had trouble keeping up with exactly what was happening. Parker was clinging to Barnes’ back, trying to get his skinny arms around his neck, but Barnes wasn't making it easy on him, grabbing the back of Parker's shirt and tossing him across the room. Parker stuck to the wall, calling out a playful insult, and then he launched himself at Barnes again.
She blinked.
Barnes had Parker on the floor on top of him, Parker's back to his chest, one arm around Parker's neck. Parker was pale and shaking, already trapping out. Barnes released him immediately, but Parker didn't stop tapping, even as he curled in on himself, still choking, still fighting to breathe.
Maria ran. She was long familiar with panic attacks. She knew Parker's history. She had been debriefed on the situation he'd handled on his own with the Vulture, and she knew about the collapsed building he should have, by all rights, died under. Parker didn't do well in tight spaces or with a lot of fire around him, not anymore. PTSD in teenagers was harder to deal with than PTSD in adults, she thought - mostly because she was familiar with the latter but not the former.
She slid to a stop and dropped to her knees beside Barnes as Barnes hovered near Parker, not daring to touch him in this state. She'd forgotten, in her haste, that Barnes probably had far more experience with PTSD than she did - if only a practical understanding and less from a medical perspective. She'd been through specific training for this, but Barnes probably dealt with his own and Stark's regularly.
“Peter, there's nothing there,” Barnes said, soft and yet firm, gentle but fierce. She thought, probably, this wasn't the first thing he'd said to him. “Come on, breathe, Peter, just breathe. In and out.”
“Focus on me,” Maria commanded, snapping her fingers. The sound drew Peter's attention with a full body flinch. “Look around. Name five things you can see.”
Parker gasped wetly for a breath. “Y-you. Bucky. M-m-mats. St-stairs. Windows.” His voice broke over windows, and tears rolled down his cheeks. Barnes held out a hand and Parker clutched it tightly as he struggled to breathe.
“Deep breaths,” Bucky said softly. “In-two-three-four. Out-two-three-four. Just like we practiced. Come on.”
Maria nodded. “Name four things you can touch.”
Parker squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and Maria watched as he mouthed the numbers he was counting to himself. He made it to three before all the air wooshed out of his lungs in a rush and his eyes flew open to focus on Barnes once more.
“Floor,” he said through his next gasping inhale. “Buh-Bucky's hand. Shirt. Shorts.”
“Good, you're doing great, kiddo,” Barnes said softly. “Keep breathing.”
“Three things you can hear,” Maria said, and immediately, FRIDAY cued some sort of city sounds in the background for him to focus on rather than the panicked sound of his own breathing.
Parker was silent for a moment, focusing on his breathing as he listened. “Sirens, dogs, and people,” he said, a little more coherent than he had been a moment ago. The dead silence obviously hadn't been a good thing.
“Great,” Maria said with a nod. “Two things you can smell.”
“Sweat and…” Parker breathed again, slower, more measured breaths. “Perfume.”
“That's all her,” Barnes joked, cracking a smile. It was tense around the edges, but it helped as some of the tension bled out of Parker's body.
“One thing you can taste,” Maria said to finish off the set. She'd had to run through this with people multiple times before it calmed them down before, but she was infinitely glad that once was all it had taken this time. She suspected the noise helped the most. She'd have to mention that to Barnes later.
“Blood,” Parker muttered, his eyes drifting away from them. He took another deep breath over a four count and released it slowly. Barnes was rigid beside her. She nudged him with her elbow, and that seemed to snap him out of it. He stood to get their drinks from the bench along the far wall while Maria helped Parker sit up. His cheeks flushed red as he scrubbed his face dry.
“I'm sorry you had to see all that,” Parker said softly.
“Nothing I haven't seen a thousand times,” Maria said honestly. “I'm going to strongly recommend you two call it quits for today.”
“No -” Parker tried to argue.
“She's right,” Barnes said swiftly. “You got most of the summer here, so we'll have plenty of time.” He passed over the open bottle of sports drink and Peter sipped at it slowly. “Your mouth okay?”
Parker nodded. “Bit my cheek, I guess.” He fiddled with the label on the bottle, then sighed. “How am I supposed to go be an Avenger if I freak out any time I get pinned down? That's - that's pretty much always going to happen.”
“You learn how to focus on different things.” The answer startled all three of them, and Maria found herself momentarily reaching for her gun before she realized it was Stark. He left the doors and walked across the room toward them. “We all have our issues, Pete. Doesn't stop the bad guys from trying to use them against us. I still can't stand water, but I've worked around it. Sort of.” He shrugged. “Point is, you figure out ways to adjust. Sometimes, it gets easier.”
Parker nodded slightly. “I don't want to be some - some liability. Not out there.” He shrugged a shoulder in the direction of the big windows. “It's bad enough I can barely keep it together in here, and that's just practice .”
“Might also be part of the reason they happen so often,” Stark pointed out as he crouched down beside Parker and made himself comfortable. “Less adrenaline because you know you aren't in real danger. It lets your brain do all its shit.”
That made a lot of sense, actually. Maria was surprised. Stark was forever going on about how he didn't do the ‘squishy’ sciences. She supposed he'd either learned some or picked up enough through his own experiences over the years. It was, more than likely, a mix of both.
“You're still seeing a therapist, right?” Maria asked, unable to resist.
“Yes,” Stark said, rolling his eyes. Parker nodded, glancing up at her to catch her eye, then back down to the bottle in his hands. Even Barnes nodded. Well. She hadn't meant to get a response from everyone, but she wasn't sorry she had.
“Good,” she said firmly. “Ask about more grounding techniques, figure out something that might work while you're in the field if it comes down to that. You never know, they might have something.” She stood and took a few steps back, giving them space. “I'll leave you to it, then.”
“Thank you, Ms. Hill,” Parker said quietly.
“Yeah,” Stark nodded, giving her a critical once over that, despite what rumor might say, wasn't sexualized at all. It felt like he was trying to check her for any injuries. Finding none, he met her eyes again. “Thank you. For everything.”
Maria could only nod once, unaccustomed to such gratitude, especially from Stark. Not that he was ungrateful , he just didn't expect much more out of her than doing her job and doing it well. He always thanked her when she did more, but it wasn't ever so damn sincere . She knew that it had a lot to do with Parker this time.
“Part of the job,” she said, shrugging it off and not making a big deal out of it. “If you need anything.” She waited for the slight nod, accompanied with a small smile, and then she turned to leave. There wasn't anything left for her to do here.
It was good Parker had someone like Stark in his corner. And good for Barnes, too, probably, though she didn't know him well enough to hazard much of a guess. She knew Stark was benefiting from their presence, though. He was so much… lighter with the two of them nearby. She hoped things would remain that way, but she wouldn't hold her breath. For now, it was enough that they all had each other. And she was content to observe, as always.